Biblical Directives for Godly Grieving, Part 2

In this part of the sermon: The first crucial doctrine is a right understanding of God, held with a 'death grip' of faith. God is infinite, eternal, unchangeable in His being, wisdom, power, holiness…

The analogy of a cowboy clinging to a branch on a cliff with a 'death grip' illustrates the absolute necessity of holding onto biblical doctrines for spiritual survival in grief, knowing that letting go means spiritual death.

Now, when I use the term death grip, and I'm going to use it continually, I'm using it to underscore that these things must not be shelf doctrines to us. Things to which we may point when questioned about what we believe and say, Oh, yes, I believe that. It's there. It's there on page 17 of the 1689 Confession.

9:49 - 10:11 Read in full sermon

Driving home: His doctrine of God kept him stable in the face of crushing grief.

Martin shares his personal experience of worshipping God not only for giving him his wife but also for taking her, highlighting how this act of faith brought freedom and safety to his heart from the enemy's accusations.

And as long as I have rationality, I shall never forget the morning in my study, shortly after God took my beloved. When I worshipped him for all that he gave me in that gracious woman, I worshipped him for all that he gave me. And I enumerated one thing after another that God gave me in her. But when I was able to worship him for taking her, my heart was free.

20:04 - 20:40 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: David's worship after the death of his child, despite his prior pleading, further illustrates that nothing in God's character changes in His taking, and clinging to His…

The example of Nineveh's repentance in response to Jonah's prophecy illustrates how God's pronouncements of judgment can sometimes be a 'backhanded call to mercy,' influencing David's prayer for his sick child.

But David understood that often God's pronouncements of judgment are a backhanded call to mercy. Remember with Nineveh, the prophet goes and says, 40 days, Nineveh shall be overthrown. And the whole city falls upon its face. In penitence and cries to God.

23:07 - 23:26 Read in full sermon

The point: Cling with a death grip to the biblical doctrine of God, especially when facing untimely, abnormal deaths of loved ones.

Examples of an infant's death, Job's children, and a young soldier dying of cancer illustrate how untimely and abnormal deaths severely test faith in God's character, underscoring the need to cling to doctrine.

We're all going to live but our 70 or 80 plus years when God takes an infant. There's something abnormal and untimely in that act of God. When with Job, God takes all of your children in the prime of life. When God takes a young man who is committed to serve His country, has had the finest of training, and lets his body get riddled with cancer in his brain, in his spine, and all through his vital organs.

28:53 - 29:28 Read in full sermon

The point: Worship God for His sovereign ordering of all events, even those that seem to delay or prevent healing, to find freedom in grief.

Martin shares his personal struggle with questioning the timing of his wife's oncologist's actions, and how he found peace by worshipping God's sovereign ordering of all events, including the development of her tumors.

I had to struggle with that.

30:47 - 30:48 Read in full sermon

Driving home: Death is mine. Mine. And all it can do to me in Christ is chase me up to heaven.

A quote from a Scottish Covenanter's tombstone, likening death to an instrument by which saints are 'chased up to heaven,' illustrates the believer's transformed view of death as a servant.

Death is mine. Death has become mine. My servant. And all it can do in the language that I think I quoted a few weeks ago that I saw on a tombstone over in Scotland with one of the covenanters where death is likened as that instrument by which the saints of God are chased up to heaven.

36:20 - 36:43 Read in full sermon

Driving home: Death is mine. Mine. And all it can do to me in Christ is chase me up to heaven.

Luther's statement that 'he who does not die, face death with confidence is yet to become much of a Christian' reinforces the idea that believers should view death as a conquered enemy.

That's why Luther said, he who does not die, face death with confidence is yet to become much of a Christian.

36:53 - 37:00 Read in full sermon

The point: Accept the inevitability of your own death and the death of your loved ones, allowing this reality to chasten excessive grief.

Martin recounts his wife's repeated statements about having lived out her 'three score and 10' and enumerating her blessings, illustrating her embrace of the inevitability of death and gratitude for God's timing.

The days of our years are 70. If by reason of strength they are 80. I can remember my wife's again and again saying when people would say, oh but Mrs. Martin you've got so much more work to do and your husband and she would say, look, I've lived out my three score and 10.

39:56 - 40:13 Read in full sermon

The point: Embrace the inevitability of death and do not imbibe the American mentality of living forever in 'golden years'.

Martin challenges the 'American mentality' of living forever in 'golden years' by referencing the harsh realities observed in cancer clinics, emphasizing that 'golden years' often bring the very things that lead to the grave.

I've got news for you. With the so-called golden years come the things that take you to your grave. If you don't believe it, switch places with my wife and me for some time. For six months when you get in the cancer world and see the people that come in and out of the doctor's office and out of the clinics and you recognize it's appointed unto men once to die.

40:57 - 41:23 Read in full sermon

The point: Be comfortable with your own grief and with the grief of others, fostering a climate where it is easy to weep with those who weep.

Martin shares an anecdote from a pastor's conference where he wept openly and then explained to the men that he would not apologize for his tears, asserting that grief is a fully human and Christ-like expression.

I remember sitting at the table during the pastor's conference which was just a couple of weeks after my loved one's home going and the men were talking about something that led very naturally to speaking of my wife and I sat there and wept shared my tears with those men and then I said this as they were about to leave because I felt they needed this lesson. I said now brethren you notice I've not apologized for my tears I didn't say excuse me I'm sorry. They said no pastor we're glad you didn't. I said I won't.

45:57 - 46:28 Read in full sermon

The point: Cling with a death grip to a right doctrine of Christ, understanding His person and work, to grieve godlily.

The example of Mary being unable to hear all prayers simultaneously, unlike God, illustrates why Christ must be truly God to effectively minister to all grieving people at once.

If he is not truly God then how in the world can he either know about or do anything for my grief? I mean there's grieving people all over the world. This is one of the things that cured me very early of any thought of Mary being co-redemptrix unless you're going to make her God. How can Mary hear all the prayers of all the faithful all around the world all at once?

52:41 - 53:06 Read in full sermon