Biblical Directives for Godly Grieving, Part 3

The point: Grasp and firmly believe three foundational principles: the present location and condition of the souls of loved ones in Christ, that emotions are not ultimate authority, and the responsibility to manage thoughts in grie…

Martin shares the personal story of his wife's death after a six-year battle with cancer, which serves as the impetus and context for the entire sermon series on godly grieving.

Our study in the Word of God this morning will be the third and the final message in this brief series that I have entitled Biblical Directives for Godly Grieving, Subtitled Gleanings from a Grieving Heart. As most of you know, it was on September 20th that my beloved wife of 48 years entered the immediate presence of the Lord Jesus as she crossed the river of death after her six-year battle with cancer. And since that time, I have been pleading with God to teach me how to grieve that loss in a way that honors Him, in a way that glorifies Him, and believing that the things that I... I have bee...

0:00 - 1:09 Read in full sermon

The point: Cling to a right doctrine of God, Christ, and man with the death grip of faith, recognizing that solid doctrine is ballast for the soul in grief.

Martin uses the analogy of solid, substantial doctrines of the Word of God becoming 'ballast to the soul when one is upon the turbulent seas of deep and traumatic grief,' contrasting it with 'biblical and spiritual fluff' that offers little help in dark days.

And my purpose in those rather cryptic titles was to underscore the fact that we will not be able to grieve over the loss of our loved ones who die in the Lord in a God-glorifying way unless we have a clear understanding of and a firm grasp by faith upon some of the most fundamental doctrines of the Lord Jesus Christ. And that is to say, that we are not able to grieve over the doctrines of the Christian faith. Fluff may make you feel good in days that are bright, but in the dark days of shattering grief, biblical and spiritual fluff will do you little good. It is the solid, substantial doctrin...

4:59 - 6:13 Read in full sermon

Driving home: We can look upon the spot where they are buried and say they are not severed from Christ even in the grave.

Martin uses the vivid imagery of placing loved ones' bodies in 'the cold, damp earth, and consigned them to the worms and to decay' to underscore that even in this radical severing, their union with Christ is not broken.

He's going to find his dead ones that are still in him. He's going to find his dead ones who are still united to him. He's going to find his dead ones who are still with him. And so the apostle is underscoring for these Thessalonian believers that our union with the Lord Jesus Christ is not severed, even in the radical severing of soul and body in death, and the traumatic severing when we must place the bodies of our loved ones in the cold, damp earth, and consigned them to the worms and to decay and to fulfill the ancient dictum, dust thou art and to dust thou shalt return. We can look upon t...

19:30 - 20:33 Read in full sermon

Driving home: Dear people, that's enough to make you shout through your tears when you stand on the grave plots of your loved ones. It won't dry up your tears, because the separation between you and that loved one is real. And it's ex…

Martin explains the imagery of 'firstfruits' from Israelite agricultural practices, where cutting sheaves from a ripened harvest was a pledge of the full harvest yet to come. He applies this to Christ's resurrection as the pledge of the full resurrection of believers.

The firstfruits of them that are asleep. And that never refers to the soul. There's no biblical doctrine of soul sleep, the kind of spiritual coma that people go into at death. No, they are very much alive in his presence. But they are said to sleep in Jesus when they die in union with Christ. And Christ is described as firstfruits. What's the imagery? You remember in Israel.

25:54 - 26:23 Read in full sermon

Driving home: Dear people, that's enough to make you shout through your tears when you stand on the grave plots of your loved ones. It won't dry up your tears, because the separation between you and that loved one is real. And it's ex…

Martin quotes C.S. Lewis's statement, 'if we could see ourselves now as we will be then. We would find it hard, we would find it hard not to fall down and worship one another,' to illustrate the immense glory awaiting resurrected believers.

that when Christ who is our life shall appear, Colossians 3, 4, we shall also be manifested with him. In glory, not glory as a place, but glory as a state and a condition. For Paul says in Philippians 3, our citizenship is in heaven, from whence we wait for a Savior, who shall fashion the body of our humiliation, like unto the body of his glory. By the power wherewith he is able to subdue even all things to himself. I think I've quoted before the words of C.S. Lewis, if we could see ourselves now as we will be then. We would find it hard, we would find it hard not to fall down and worship one ...

28:50 - 29:35 Read in full sermon

Driving home: Dear people, that's enough to make you shout through your tears when you stand on the grave plots of your loved ones. It won't dry up your tears, because the separation between you and that loved one is real. And it's ex…

Martin recounts John's experience in Revelation where he twice falls down to worship an angel due to its glory, which the angel rebukes. This serves to further illustrate the overwhelming glory that resurrected believers will possess, making the Lewis quote more impactful.

Twice in the book of the Revelation, as John is interacting with an angel who is the medium of revelatory data, he falls down to worship that angel. Such glory is seen in that angel's presence. He falls down to worship. Here's a strict monotheist. Here is this man who worshiped the Lord Jesus, who was no idolater. But there was something so glorious about the angel. He was tempted to fall down and worship, and the angel said, no, no, don't do that. I'm just a fellow servant. Worship God. What a wonderful thing to stand, as I say, over the plot of earth that holds the earthly remains of our dea...

29:37 - 30:46 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin introduces the fifth doctrine: possessing and practicing a right doctrine of the church as a body and a family. He argues that the local church is not optional but the New…

Martin uses the analogy of a right eye lying to the left hand, causing self-harm, to illustrate the incongruity and unthinkableness of members of the church lying to one another, given their organic union as 'members one of another.'

mutual empathy and sympathy. And then you have an emphasis, similar emphasis in Romans chapter 12, verse 5, with respect to the body. So we who are many are one body in Christ and severally members one of another. We have more than a mere paper relationship on the role of Trinity Church. We belong to one another. That's why Paul in Ephesians can say, lie not one to another, seeing you are members one of another. How incongruous, that my right eye would lie to me and cause me to do something stupid that causes me to lose my left hand. It's incongruous. It's unthinkable. We are members one of an...

42:40 - 43:33 Read in full sermon

The point: Do not face the crushing grief of a loved one's death alone, but actively participate in the body of Christ, entering into mutual feelings and support.

Martin shares his personal story of being counseled to 'get away' after his wife's funeral, but God providentially intervened through his mother-in-law's death and a booked cottage, teaching him that he needed the church family instead of isolation.

And here I want to give testimony. When the Lord took my loved one, and I was trying to decide what shall I do after the funeral, I had a lot of counsel that given the lengthy period of her illness and the pressure of being her primary caregiver for so long. So many counseled me. You need to get away. Just get away. You need to get away from it all. I said, well, I listened to counsel. So I listened to counsel. And I made tentative plans to get away. And God providentially threw a monkey wrench in those plans. Her mother died. I had to take care of her affairs.

46:56 - 47:38 Read in full sermon

The point: Take the initiative to minister to those who are grieving by inviting them into your homes and sharing time, devotions, and tears.

Martin testifies to his personal experience of needing the embraces, homes, tables, and shared tears of the body of Christ during his grief, demonstrating that even as a pastor, he is a part of the body that needs its ministry.

The place I was to go, somebody else had already booked in to the lovely cottage that I was to go. So it was evident. No, this is not God's time. And that was God's wonderful way to teach me this lesson. I didn't need to be away. I needed you, my family. I needed you, the body of Christ.

47:38 - 48:02 Read in full sermon