The Biblical Training of Our Children, Part 3

Driving home: And the day you grow weary in the week-by-week expository ministry of your churches of this element of word studies, you've grown weary of knowing the mind of God and are susceptible to heresy.

Paul's appeal to common observation that no sane man hates his own flesh but nourishes it, providing for its comfort, protection, and well-being, illustrates the natural, comprehensive care implied by 'nurture.'

When it is said that no man ever hates his own flesh, but he nourishes it, that's the one other use of the word in the New Testament. And it is indeed helpful in seeking to grasp the essence of the task, of godly training. When it is said that a man nourishes his flesh, what does it mean? Paul is appealing to something that is there in general revelation, something that is open to common observation when men act consistent with their manhood.

10:21 - 11:03 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: The sermon then focuses on the word 'nurture' (ectrefo), emphasizing its importance as the essence of the training task. Martin examines its usage in Ephesians 5:29, where it…

The analogy of Christ nourishing the church, imparting all necessary for its protection, maturation, and ultimate salvation, further defines 'nurture' as a comprehensive, grace-filled, and powerful provision.

He nourishes and cherishes his own flesh, now notice what it says, even as Christ also the church. How does Christ nourish the church? Well, in grace, and in power, and in the marvelous interpenetration of his own ongoing high priestly work, coalescing with the ministry of the indwelling Spirit, and all in the context of a sovereign providence, Christ nourishes his church, that is,

12:09 - 12:53 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin provides two key illustrations of 'nurture': the poor man's ewe lamb in 2 Samuel 12, highlighting deep affection and comprehensive care, and Jesus' growth in Luke 2:51-52…

The story from 2 Samuel 12 of the poor man and his one little ewe lamb, which he nourished, shared food and drink with, and treated as a daughter, vividly illustrates the deep affection, personal companionship, and comprehensive care inherent in biblical 'nurture.'

You'll remember that David has sinned a horrible, intricate web of iniquity, lust leading to adultery, leading to murder, and then to the cover-up. But God is determined to bring his child back into the way of repentance and spiritual health and vigor. And so he sends his prophet Nathan to David. And the prophet comes and begins to probe his conscience with a parable.

14:26 - 15:03 Read in full sermon

The point: Do not create an adversarial relationship with your children or a climate where they lose heart, but nurture them.

Comparing the man's affection for his ewe lamb to a person's love for a dog, but then highlighting the extreme intimacy (drinking from the same cup) to underscore the profound depth of the man's 'nurture' for the lamb.

I mean some of you got a dog and you love your dog, but I mean at the point that you and your dog are going to drink out of the same cup, no way, Jose. No way, Jose. I mean affection for a sweet little brown-eyed puppy has its limits. But he had this one little ewe lamb and he so loved it and so identified with it and sought to, as it were, infect his whole family with that spirit that apparently no one barfed at the table when he shared his own cup with it.

18:16 - 18:53 Read in full sermon

The point: Nurture your children's minds to think clearly, accurately, and with discrimination, seeing through specious reasoning.

An example of a wife trained to think clearly, who can respectfully and lovingly point out flaws in her husband's reasoning, illustrating the importance of nurturing daughters' minds for future roles.

hard and think clearly and to think perceptively to see through specious reasoning to be able to see clean through mere verbal puff that has no substance. And that's not only true of our sons it's true of our daughters. If they are to be wives answering to their husbands needs they need to be girls who are wise enough to see through a man's reasoning that is inconclusive and fallacious when their own husbands one day will be justifying their actions by such reasoning and if that girl has not been trained

23:36 - 24:21 Read in full sermon

The point: Train your children's emotional constitution to have proper expressions, knowing when and how to express anger righteously.

A counseling anecdote about a man married seven years who had never raised his voice at his wife, despite internal anger, illustrating the problem of emotionally twisted upbringing and the need to nurture proper emotional expression.

Serious problems of being open and communicative. Lives with a veil. This is his own acknowledgement. I'm not telling tales out of school and I have his permission to use his example wherever it will help without naming names.

26:24 - 26:41 Read in full sermon

The point: Nurture your children's bodies, teaching them that their body is a gift from God and there is stewardship in its care, including proper nutrition and avoiding gluttony.

An example of parents giving spankings that cause crying, and the need to teach children the appropriate cry of pain versus self-indulgent or angry crying, illustrating the nurturing of emotions.

I've seen parents give spankings that would make an Indian cry. In the days when Indians would go to death and would not show any emotion. And I've seen parents think that that was developing a noble trait. No, it was developing emotional hardness.

27:54 - 28:13 Read in full sermon

Driving home: If he's going to serve you as he ought he needs to be trained into those disciplines of manhood and though his football is his God it'll take him to hell if he dies in that state.

Martin shares a personal anecdote about his mother secretly weeping and praying for him as a football-obsessed teenager, asking God to use his physical disciplines and strong will for future service, illustrating a mother's commitment to holistic nurture even when a child's focus is misdirected.

five hours a day. He was out in the carpenter shop beginning to develop sinewy strong arms. He was there in that setting growing in stature. If I may just give a personal anecdote and you who know my ministry know I seldom do this.

46:18 - 46:40 Read in full sermon

Driving home: If he's going to serve you as he ought he needs to be trained into those disciplines of manhood and though his football is his God it'll take him to hell if he dies in that state.

Martin's father later confessed that his encouragement of Martin's football was partly living out his own unfulfilled longings, illustrating the need for fathers to examine their motives in nurturing their children.

And I thank God for that. I had no idea the kinds of burdens God would lay upon me. I had no idea that God knew and I had a mother who was committed to nurture me. A father who in some measure shared the same vision though his vision for my football he's later confessed was much living out his own unfulfilled longings.

48:42 - 49:10 Read in full sermon

Driving home: This is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased. Well pleased. He grew in favor with God. That's the nurture you see of the spiritual dimension of our children.

The story of a Quaker boy told to be silent, who admits 'me speaketh on the inside,' illustrates the need to hone a child's conscience to understand that God's law addresses internal disposition, not just external actions.

But that conscience needs to be honed so that they know what a lie is with ever increasing accuracy. Yes, the first time they disobey as a conscious act of disobedience, they know they are doing wrong. But their conscience must be honed as to the precise meaning of the fifth commandment. Know the little Quaker boy?

52:18 - 52:43 Read in full sermon

Driving home: This is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased. Well pleased. He grew in favor with God. That's the nurture you see of the spiritual dimension of our children.

The example of Saul of Tarsus (Paul) realizing the law's demands touched the heart through the tenth commandment, illustrating how a honed conscience leads to owning one's sinnerhood and growing in favor with God.

You see what he was saying? I'm obeying externally, but internally I'm blabbering away. Well, you see, if someone's to grow in favor with God, the conscience must be honed to understand that God's law pitches not merely the external attitude but the internal disposition. You see, Saul of Tarsus didn't know that.

53:08 - 53:30 Read in full sermon

The point: Young men and women, pray through Luke 2:51-52, asking to grow in true wisdom and to be like Christ.

Jesus noting and commenting on Simon's failure to wash his feet, a proper social custom, illustrates that Jesus grew in favor with man by understanding and expecting social graces and decorum.

He went into the house of Simon and he said, Simon, when I came in, you had no one wash my feet. He knew it was a proper social custom that was due him and when he didn't get it, he took note of it. And furthermore, he told his host about it. Oh, what pressure is upon this rising generation to despise social decorum.

54:56 - 55:24 Read in full sermon

The point: Go back to your room, sit your kids down, and ask them with judgment-day honesty if the context of your home is one of deep, personal, principled, manifested love.

Martin explains that listeners of his tapes might perceive him as harsh, but his church members understand his 'whomping' within a context of deep, manifested love, illustrating that sternness is accepted when love is known.

I've said to my wife more than once, people that only listen to Trinity Pulpit tapes, they don't know who I am. They hear me thundering and whomping on our people and wonder, man, they must be an oppressed, beat up bunch. But a lot of that oppressed, beat up bunch is here. You see, there's a context in which I whomp on them.

64:26 - 64:51 Read in full sermon

The point: Go back to your room, sit your kids down, and ask them with judgment-day honesty if the context of your home is one of deep, personal, principled, manifested love.

The analogy of the man in James who looks in a mirror, sees an 'ugly picture,' but then walks away and forgets, illustrates how quickly conviction can fade if not acted upon immediately.

All I'm saying is, if you're under conviction tonight and you really have a serious question whether or not this is true, none of us has it to perfection. But we ought to know that we have it in principle. And if you're not sure, what I'm saying is, get sure and take the straightest route to it. Otherwise, by tomorrow morning the impressions of tonight will be gone and you'll be right back where you were like the man in James who looked in the mirrors and man, what an ugly picture.

66:17 - 66:45 Read in full sermon

The point: Know your Bible well, even if it means canceling distractions like newspapers, to effectively nurture your children in God's wisdom.

Martin shares his personal practice of not having a regular newspaper because he knows his own carnality would lead him to read the sports page instead of his Bible, illustrating the need for self-awareness and discipline to prioritize God's Word.

You say, you're that carnal? Yes, I am. I don't have a regular newspaper because I'm spiritual. It's because I'm so carnal that I know I'd be more interested in what the Mets did last night than in what God is telling me through Paul and Isaiah and Solomon.

70:28 - 70:47 Read in full sermon

The point: When you've blown your temper or been lazy, confess it to your children and spouse to maintain blamelessness and avoid cynicism.

An example of a father confessing his laziness for not cutting the grass to his children, asking for forgiveness, illustrating how parental blamelessness is maintained through repentance and confession, not perfection.

And they do not expect perfection but they expect reality and blamelessness. That means that when you've blown your temper you confess it to them and to your wife or to your husband. It means when you've been lazy and sat on your duff when you should have been out cutting the grass and yours is the shabbiest looking house in the neighborhood for two weeks and you know it's a poor testimony you're not commending the gospel you gather your kids together and say I'm sorry kids you've got to be embarrassed our house is the messiest looking one on the block Dad was too stinkin' lazy to get off his ...

72:28 - 73:13 Read in full sermon

The point: When you've blown your temper or been lazy, confess it to your children and spouse to maintain blamelessness and avoid cynicism.

Martin shares his son's testimony after returning from a period of rebellion, explaining that the reality and blamelessness he saw in his parents' lives (e.g., confessing anger, praying before discipline) so gripped his conscience that he could never doubt the truth, illustrating the profound impact of parental integrity.

May I again for the sake of some of you who've got a broken heart the dagger is there and the wound bleeds may I share the personal experience of having my son's permission to do so when he spent several years in the far country and we lived with that open wound with which some of you live after the Lord turned him around and he was stable enough and healed enough to be able to start talking about things and that was a long time. I asked him the question one day

74:48 - 75:32 Read in full sermon