Eroded Scheduling

Driving home: God does not have a special packet of all of those graces and disciplines and perspectives which he stuff into their psyche upon their conversion it just does not happen and while he brings a packet of motivation and of …

Martin recounts his childhood in a diverse Connecticut neighborhood where parents and shopkeepers held children accountable, illustrating a time when common grace and family structure provided a strong moral climate, contrasting with the present generation's lack of such input.

of an assertive father and a supportive mother now I can look back in the into the late 30s and early 40s in my early childhood in Connecticut up and down a block that was like a little United Nations we had a little Italy we had a little Ireland we had a little Poland and we had one apartment dwelling where the prominent member was a very very pronounced Scott who was proud of his Scottish accent and of his Scottish background and yet though there were no Christians in any of those countries where there was no religion or any of those families to our knowledge with perhaps one exception there...

9:34 - 10:55 Read in full sermon

Driving home: God does not have a special packet of all of those graces and disciplines and perspectives which he stuff into their psyche upon their conversion it just does not happen and while he brings a packet of motivation and of …

He briefly mentions using black coupons for sugar during the war, a detail that grounds his childhood story in a specific historical context for older listeners.

assumed her allegations were true and they called a family court and by one means or another extorted the truth out of me and I was there by usually disciplined for trying to avoid truth and discipline for the truth that's the way it was and if the shopkeeper who owned the local grocery store where we used to have to take our little black coupons during the war to get a pound of sugar some of you don't know what that world is do you well that's the world in which i was brought up if he said to one of the parents hey your kid was trying to lift some of the candy from the candy rack parents assu...

10:55 - 12:16 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Allowing perceived needs to dictate time leads to a double guilt: neglecting sermon preparation and general reading, or neglecting the 'bleating sheep.' This double guilt can…

Martin shares a tragic anecdote of a pastor who gave up exercise and personal time for counseling, leading to burnout and inability to preach, illustrating the danger of allowing perceived needs to dictate time.

Now, what's the biblical antidote to both the backsliding, the guilty conscience, the burnout in which we're so busy meeting all these needs that people are crying for us to meet, that we have burnout or actual breakdown? And I think of a case right now that's tragic in this very area. A man gave up his exercise times and began to schedule in counseling sessions, felt guilty if he had a free evening in which he could just sit and read a wholesome novel or watch a ball game on the television. If I'm sold out to Christ every evening, I'll be among the sheep.

19:18 - 20:02 Read in full sermon

Driving home: For he would have been ministering if I may say it reverently in compassion to needy men at the expense of doing the will of God. And brethren there are times when we are sitting in our studies ministering to the needs o…

He compares the speed of disciples' feet to electrical impulses (telephones) to highlight that Jesus's solitude was interrupted, but not as instantly as modern communication allows.

I think the context will indicate what it was upon his own spirit that so pressed him with that sense of need for this protracted season of pre-dawn intercession. And Simon and they that were with him followed after him and they found him. You see the telephone couldn't get him but his disciples did. It took a little longer.

21:49 - 22:16 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin shares a personal illustration of intentionally weaning a young couple from chronic dependence on him for every decision, allowing them to develop spiritual maturity and…

Martin describes working with a young black couple from a broken background, who needed extensive 'reparenting' and pastoral care, illustrating the intense needs of congregants from eroded family structures.

And eventually they'll see that what you did was really the highest dictate of love. May I illustrate in the concrete with reference to this very verse. With reference to this very problem. As a number of you know about four or five years ago God began to give us a new dimension of breakthrough in the black community and how God did that is a marvelous story of his sovereignty.

30:55 - 31:24 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin shares a personal illustration of intentionally weaning a young couple from chronic dependence on him for every decision, allowing them to develop spiritual maturity and…

He references a Bill Moyers documentary on black inner-city life in Newark to validate the severe family breakdown and societal issues faced by some congregants.

But with that came some of these young black couples who if you've seen any of the documentaries on black inner life experience Bill Moyers one done here in Newark. I spoke to one of our young black men recently. I said did you see that documentary? I had it taped and was going to gather our blacks together from the Newark area and say now look is this accurate?

31:24 - 31:48 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin shares a personal illustration of intentionally weaning a young couple from chronic dependence on him for every decision, allowing them to develop spiritual maturity and…

Martin recounts how he intentionally weaned the young man from chronic dependence by not immediately answering calls for every decision, forcing him to rely on God and his Bible, demonstrating how to foster spiritual maturity.

Well to make a long story short you don't pour your guts into people that way without a very deep bond of affection being developed. Well what happened is I began to sense that this young man was de facto adopting me as his father and began whenever he had to make a decision to want to call me for input. And I said no. He's got enough now of the general principles and the only way he'll develop his spiritual muscles and develop and learn to walk on his own I've got to wean him from me.

33:25 - 33:58 Read in full sermon

The point: If you have an unmortified, sick, wicked desire to keep people nursing at your breasts, go to Calvary and ask God to put it to death, and seek help from someone who loves you and knows you.

He uses the metaphor of 'keeping people nursing at their breasts' to describe a pastor's unhealthy desire for others' dependence, urging self-examination and repentance for such pride.

Now that's what we're talking about. If I had allowed him he would have developed a chronic dependence that would have eaten up hours that should have been spent with other people who were just as messed up as he was when he first started coming three years ago. Now the problem is there are some men that have an unmortified sick, wicked desire to keep people nursing at their breasts. And if that's in you my brother you better go to a place called Calvary and ask God to put it to death.

35:33 - 36:07 Read in full sermon

The point: If you have an unmortified, sick, wicked desire to keep people nursing at your breasts, go to Calvary and ask God to put it to death, and seek help from someone who loves you and knows you.

Martin shares his personal discomfort with being seen as 'the oracle' in solo Q&A sessions, preferring the counsel of fellow elders, illustrating humility and the value of shared leadership.

And you better have somebody who loves you and knows you to sit down with you and help sort out why you want to have everybody and his uncle looking to you as the oracle. As I told my fellow elders that's why I feel so uncomfortable in these afternoon sessions standing there all alone. I'm not used to dealing with questions all alone. I've always got six men around me and we're discussing it together.

36:07 - 36:29 Read in full sermon

The point: Do not let the pressure of people's collective certainty about God's will for you cause you to capitulate, especially when you have determined God's will through Scripture, prayer, and sound counsel.

He uses the parable of the talents to explain that he must answer to God for his own gifts and calling, not for what others (a 'five-talent man') are doing, justifying his refusal to be swayed by others' expectations.

I thank God so and so did this and this and this and this. And he will answer to his Lord for the use of his five talents. But I assess that I'm a two talent man and this is how to invest them and I'll answer to my Lord for the investment of what he has given me to do. Now that will give to some people the appearance of bullheadedness and intransigence.

40:38 - 41:04 Read in full sermon

The point: Face the 'monkey of guilt' that comes from allowing people's perceived needs to dictate your time and energy, and ask God to make the 'womb that conceived him sterile' by applying biblical principles.

He uses the metaphor of a 'horrible monkey of guilt' on one's back to represent the burden of allowing others' perceived needs to dictate a pastor's time and energy.

And so if I'm speaking this morning to some of my dear brethren going around with a horrible monkey of guilt upon your back could it be my dear brother that that monkey of guilt has been conceived in the womb of allowing people's perceived needs and people's perceived assessment of what you ought to be doing to dictate how you use your time and how you expend your energies rather than a principled structuring of your time and the expenditure of your energies according to a wise and judicious application of biblical principles in consultation with wise counselors and all under the rubric of ear...

41:40 - 43:08 Read in full sermon