The Christian Man With His Wife

In this part of the sermon: Martin establishes that all New Testament directives for men as husbands, fathers, and churchmen presuppose they are 'Christian men' who have experienced salvation and sustain a…

Martin uses the analogy of speaking English or American Sign Language, presupposing the audience understands, to explain that specific New Testament directives for men presuppose their salvation.

Well, brethren, it's good to be with you, and trust as Dave led us in prayer, God will indeed visit us and make it evident that he is present by the Holy Spirit. Now, as we begin this brief but crucial series of studies entitled The Christian Man with His Wife, with His Children, and with His Church, the foundation of the whole series is comprised in the opening three words, The Christian Man. Now, let me explain what I mean by this assertion. In all the directives in the New Testament regarding the specific responsibilities of men as husbands, as fathers, and as churchmen, there is a clear, c...

0:09 - 1:25 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Expounding Ephesians 5:25-33, Martin details two patterns of love: Christ's sacrificial and purposeful love for the church (giving Himself up to sanctify and present her spotless)…

He vividly describes Christ's agony in Gethsemane and the greater horrors of Golgotha, emphasizing the ultimate sacrifice of Christ's love for the church as the pattern for husbands.

He gave the ultimate sacrifice and squeezed into those words, gave himself up for it. Up for it is all the detailed narrative of Gethsemane, seeing the cup of the wrath of God that he would have to drink if you and I, as the church, were to be redeemed, cleansed and pardoned, forgiven, accepted with God. And in that garden, he shrank before the cup. He fell to the ground.

24:00 - 24:36 Read in full sermon

The point: Consciously desire, pray for, and responsibly pursue your wife's spiritual health and growth in grace, sacrificing personal interests and activities to make time to read and pray together.

Martin uses the analogy of not 'finding' time for devotions with one's wife, but rather 'making' time by sacrificing other interests, to illustrate the sacrificial nature of a husband's love.

If you are loving your wife with the sacrificial and purposeful love with which Christ loves the church, you will consciously desire, pray for, and responsibly pursue your wife's spiritual health and growth in grace. If you are loving your wife with the sacrificial, purposeful love with which Christ loves the church, you will consciously desire, it will be something that enters your mind. It won't be subliminal. It won't be something, oh, yeah, that's what I, no, you will consciously desire, and desiring it, you'll pray for and then responsibly pursue your wife's spiritual health and growth in...

32:54 - 34:19 Read in full sermon

The point: If you see a pattern of lack of joy or peace in your wife, get inside her head and heart to find the root of what is choking holy emotions, rather than just sending her to a doctor for pills.

He presents a detailed scenario of a wife showing signs of anorexia and asks what people would think of a husband who did nothing, to illustrate the husband's responsibility for his wife's physical well-being.

You get the emphasis? The sixth commandment, the sanctity of life, requires all lawful endeavors to preserve our life and the life of others and certainly our most significant other, our wives. And what is forbidden is forbids the taking away of our own life, suicide, or the life of our neighbor unjustly, I may be a law officer who justly can take the life of another, or whatsoever tends there unto. In other words, whatever contributes to an unnecessary debilitation of life and health is forbidden by the sixth commandment. Now, let me ask a question. Suppose you began to notice your wife dropp...

52:04 - 53:11 Read in full sermon

The point: If your wife is killing herself through anorexia, step in and deal with it, as you are to love her as your own flesh and cannot let her break the sixth commandment.

He presents a scenario of a wife gaining excessive weight with health problems and asks what a husband should do, to illustrate the husband's responsibility to lovingly address his wife's physical health as part of cherishing her.

Now let's switch the scene. You see your wife over a period of months or years piling on, piling on, clothes no longer fit. She has to get new ones and after a while they no longer fit. She can no longer find clothes that drape the accumulation of the excess weight.

55:32 - 55:58 Read in full sermon

The point: Make a conscious effort to understand wherein women are different from men in general, and wherein your wife in particular is different from other women, seeking guidance from Scripture and good books.

He references the song 'Why Can't a Woman Be Like a Man' from My Fair Lady to highlight the biblical truth that God made women distinct from men, which husbands must understand.

from other women now I'm not a fan of the play My Fair Lady but I do know about a song in there in which Higgins gets frustrated and the song is Why Can't a Woman Be Like a Man and he repeats it over and over Why can't a woman be like a man Rex Harrison well the simple reason is God didn't make her that way

72:53 - 73:16 Read in full sermon

The point: Make a conscious effort to understand wherein women are different from men in general, and wherein your wife in particular is different from other women, seeking guidance from Scripture and good books.

Martin shares his personal experience of marrying his second wife, Dorothy, after 48 years with his first, Marilyn, to illustrate the ongoing challenge and joy of dwelling with a woman according to knowledge and understanding her unique differences.

a little bit of personal testimony here I take liberties in these retreats that I wouldn't in the normal pulpit ministry I hope they're not offensive if someone were to ask me what were the things that attracted you to Dorothy my second wife many things but one of the things was this I soon discovered in courting her very early that along with Marilyn there was a baseline similarity and that similarity was they were both mature godly gracious ladies women of great stature but I soon discovered that overlaid upon that common denominator were two totally different women any of you who knew Maril...

74:48 - 76:17 Read in full sermon