The Christian Man With His Children, Part 1

Driving home: God's indicatives of grace precede and undergird His imperatives of grace.

The analogy of God's indicatives of grace preceding and undergirding His imperatives of grace is used to explain that what we are in Christ is the basis for what we are to do in obedience.

What we are and what we have and possess in Christ is the basis and the soil out of which grows what we are to do in obedience to Christ. In other words, and some of you have heard this terminology, God's indicatives of grace precede and undergird His imperatives of grace. An indicative statement is a statement of what is. An imperative is a statement of...

1:21 - 1:57 Read in full sermon

Driving home: You are, as a Christian father, you are by divine appointment God's authorized governor of your family, responsible to administer God's rule by the biblical constitution concerning family life.

The role of a state governor administering rule by the state's constitution is used to illustrate the father's role as God's authorized governor administering God's rule by the biblical constitution for family life.

You are, as a Christian father, you are by divine appointment God's authorized governor of your family, responsible to administer God's rule by the biblical constitution concerning family life. The governor of a state is responsible to administer his rule by the constitution of that state. You, as a Christian father, are by divine appointment God's authorized governor of your family, responsible to administer God's rule by the biblical constitution concerning family life. It has no...

11:05 - 11:57 Read in full sermon

Driving home: You are, as a Christian father, you are by divine appointment God's authorized governor of your family, responsible to administer God's rule by the biblical constitution concerning family life.

A quote from an unnamed author highlights the perceptive insight that the command to honor parents acts as a hinge between commandments to God and to man, as parents mediate God's will.

Your father and your mother. Listen to this perceptive insight regarding this commandment. One author has written, Within the Ten Commandments, and even within the whole Pentateuch, the command to honor one's parents has pride of place among the horizontal commandments. It provides a hinge between the first four commandments to do with God's holiness, and the remaining commandments in that the parents to be honored stand in the place of God and mediate His will to the entire household.

13:28 - 14:12 Read in full sermon

The point: Understand your identity as God's authorized governor of your children, responsible to administer His constitution in spiritual wisdom, love, patience, kindness, gentleness, and unflinching commitment.

Martin recounts how he taught his son that spanking was not due to his anger but obedience to God's command, embedding the truth that he was God's vice-regent.

Son, why is daddy going to spank you? Because I disobeyed you. And why must I spank you? Because God in his words says, you must do it.

21:17 - 21:32 Read in full sermon

Driving home: It is one thing to conquer their will. It is another thing to crush their spirit.

Martin tells of a pastor friend who spanked his daughter ineffectively, leading Martin to advise him on proper, firm corporal punishment to break a child's will, illustrating the need for effective discipline.

I had a pastor friend once. It came to mind. It is not in my notes, but I am going to give into it. And I was in his home.

33:29 - 33:38 Read in full sermon

The point: Avoid attitudes, words, and actions that provoke children to anger, such as excessively severe discipline, harsh demands, abuse of authority, arbitrariness, unfairness, nagging, condemnation, humiliation, or gross insens…

A quote from a commentator lists specific attitudes and actions (severe discipline, harsh demands, abuse of authority, nagging, humiliation) that provoke children to anger, providing a comprehensive understanding of what to avoid.

Well, there was one commentator who brought the things together in a very succinct and helpful way. I quote him. Now, specifically within the family, fathers are urged to avoid those attitudes, words, and actions which would provoke their children to anger. Has the your been inserted to remind fathers that the children belong to them?

34:42 - 35:08 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: The core of the father's task is 'nurturing them,' which means establishing and administering a systematic program for the development of the whole child from birth to maturity…

A quote from Sinclair Ferguson's commentary on Ephesians emphasizes treating children as distinct individuals, warning against a 'one-size-fits-all' approach to child-rearing and highlighting the need for wisdom in applying biblical principles.

Fathers nurture them. Image bearers, marred images, salvable in Christ, but distinct individuals. And here Sinclair Ferguson has a very helpful insight from his lovely little commentary on Ephesians. Let's study Ephesians.

40:56 - 41:16 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: The core of the father's task is 'nurturing them,' which means establishing and administering a systematic program for the development of the whole child from birth to maturity…

Martin uses the example of having multiple children who respond differently to discipline (some needing severe spanking, others just a look) to illustrate the unique individuality of each child and the need for tailored parenting.

Scripture gives us wonderful principles, the entire book of Proverbs, for example, but it never releases us from the responsibility to learn how to apply these principles to individual and very different flesh-and-blood children. We need to trust the promises of God and plead, as we'll see in the third heading, for divine grace and wisdom, to respect that individuality. And if you've had more than one child, you know that you may have a child that it takes a severe, intense, repeated spanking to break their will on an issue and bring them to true repentance where, as another child, rarely need...

41:45 - 42:53 Read in full sermon

Driving home: I've cooperated with you in bringing something into the world that millions of years from now will still exist in infinite bliss or in unspeakable torment and horror. It's a sobering thing to be a dad.

Martin recounts standing by his son's crib, reflecting on the sobering reality of bringing a never-dying soul into the world, destined for infinite bliss or unspeakable torment, emphasizing the profound responsibility of fatherhood.

And he'll experience that awesome thing the first time you look at that little one, Chris. And you'll say, I've cooperated with God in bringing a never-dying soul into the world. I'll never forget when I stood by my son's crib when he was brought home from the hospital. And I stood there and I gazed.

60:42 - 61:03 Read in full sermon

The point: Seek encouragement and admonition from older, proven dads in the family of God who can offer biblical guidance.

Martin shares an anecdote of a parent training a child to greet the pastor, where the child repeatedly defied, requiring the parent to take the child away for discipline multiple times. This illustrates the necessity of conquering a child's will early and decisively.

You have those who've gone before you to encourage you. More than, once I've stood at that door over the decades that I've been here, and the parent is trying to train a child to, in social graces, just a little one, say hello to pastor. And the child says, I'm going to draw a line in the sand right here, and goes, and the parent leans over and says, say hello to pastor. You know what I say to the parent?

66:05 - 66:37 Read in full sermon

The point: Conquer a child's defiant will at the point of defiance, riding it through until your will, as God's vice-regent, prevails.

Martin recounts his mother's experience with her 11 children, noting that within the first two years, there were one or two major 'Donnybrooks' of crossed wills, which she faithfully addressed, highlighting the importance of conquering a child's will early to prevent future regrets.

And the issue may not be a big issue. My mother birthed 11 children. Ten of us grew to adulthood. And she said with most of us, within the first two years, there were one or two major Donnybrooks of crossed wills.

67:35 - 67:50 Read in full sermon