Questions & Answers

Driving home: No quicker way to make cynics out of your children than to have a home that is ostensibly a Christian home, where the name of Christ and the Bible are visible and audible, but where there is no spiritual reality and tran…

Martin uses the analogy of a circle to represent the home climate, emphasizing that a spiritual climate of reality and an emotional climate of warmth are crucial for effective child-rearing.

And I would put my circle on the board, had I a piece of chalk, which is not readily at hand, so if you can picture the circle, and we've established that the climate of the home is crucial. And with regard to the spiritual climate, as that climate is created and sustained by the Spirit of God working through parental efforts. and prayer, it should be a climate, spiritually, of reality, a climate in which hypocrisy and sham are abominated. No quicker way to make cynics out of your children than to have a home that is ostensibly a Christian home, where the name of Christ and the Bible are visib...

1:32 - 2:56 Read in full sermon

Driving home: No quicker way to make cynics out of your children than to have a home that is ostensibly a Christian home, where the name of Christ and the Bible are visible and audible, but where there is no spiritual reality and tran…

He briefly notes an illustration in finding the chalk box right in front of him, implying a lesson about overlooked resources, though he doesn't elaborate on it.

Thank you, sir. What would I do without beacons who know what the score is? Thank you, brother. All right. Here I am looking down for a piece of chalk, and there's a whole box of it. There's a good illustration in that, and I won't use it right now, but it comes to my mind. All right. So here's our home, and here's our mom and our dad, and here are the children. And under God, we are determined that this relationship of warmth and closeness, and of love, and of love, and of love, and of love, and of love, and of love, and of love, and of love, and of love, and of love, and of love, and of love...

3:20 - 3:55 Read in full sermon

Driving home: This, I have proved it, will be a means to afflict their hearts as well as their bodies. It being the way that God deals with his own children, it is the most likely to accomplish its end.

Martin quotes John Bunyan's 'Christian Behavior' on striking advisedly, showing the child their fault, the parent's reluctance, and acting in conscience to God and love for their souls. This quotation reinforces the biblical principles Martin has been teaching.

I'm rearranging and redecorating my study. And in rearranging all of my books, I came across one that I had forgotten I had. Christian Behavior for Husbands, Wives, Parents, Children, Masters, Servants, and Backsliders by John Bunyan.

7:31 - 7:48 Read in full sermon

The point: Ensure the instrument of discipline is non-abusive, flat, and capable of sending sharp signals to nerve endings without tissue damage.

He recounts a story of a pastor friend whose spanking was ineffective because he was too gentle with his daughter, only 'flicking her behind' through thick diapers, which did not inflict real pain. This illustrates the need for discipline to be diligent and inflict sufficient pain to be effective.

or one-inch dowel on the child that would have sufficient weight to do tremendous damage, but something that is flat, that can send very sharp signals to the nerve endings of the buttocks without doing damage to the tissue. So make sure the instrument is non-abusive, and make sure in the language of Proverbs it is used diligently. I'll never forget the incident with one of my pastor friends who was quite firm with his boys, but when God gave him a little girl, he just became one big pool of butter. And he was telling me that he was disturbed that discipline didn't seem to be working with her, ...

11:52 - 13:14 Read in full sermon

The point: Once a child shows repentance, sweet submission, and resolution not to repeat an offense, do not administer one stroke more, as this would be tyrannical.

The story of God using a great fish to discipline Jonah is used as an example of God taking extreme measures when necessary to bring about submission.

Now, what that number is, I refuse to give specifics, but once the end is accomplished, and the child shows repentance for his or her misdemeanor, a sweet submission to your will at the point of controversy, and a resolution at that time not to repeat it, to give one stroke more is to be guilty of a tyrannical use of the rod, because it's unlike God. He does not afflict willingly. He will not always chide nor keep his anger forever, and he chastises us until we are brought to the point of submission. Now, in some cases, he has to take very extreme measures. With a disobedient prophet, he had t...

13:14 - 14:24 Read in full sermon

The point: Once a child shows repentance, sweet submission, and resolution not to repeat an offense, do not administer one stroke more, as this would be tyrannical.

The Lord's look at Peter, which led to Peter weeping bitterly, is used as an example of God using minimal intervention when deep repentance is achieved, illustrating that overkill is unnecessary.

with Jonah, but he didn't use the same measures with Peter. All he did was look at Peter, and he broke. Well, now did the Lord need to do anything more? Peter went out and wept bitterly. Deep repentance! Now, for the Lord to do anything more than look at him would have been overkill. So if you take your pattern from God and say, Lord, help me to be like you in this specific act of discipline, when you and I have a controversy with God, as I've often told people in pastoral counseling, look, you better capitulate. Fighting with God is losing business. God's never impressed with a stuck-out lowe...

14:24 - 15:22 Read in full sermon

The point: Once a child shows repentance, sweet submission, and resolution not to repeat an offense, do not administer one stroke more, as this would be tyrannical.

Martin uses the analogy of fighting with God as 'losing business' to encourage capitulation, drawing a parallel to children's need to submit to parental authority.

with Jonah, but he didn't use the same measures with Peter. All he did was look at Peter, and he broke. Well, now did the Lord need to do anything more? Peter went out and wept bitterly. Deep repentance! Now, for the Lord to do anything more than look at him would have been overkill. So if you take your pattern from God and say, Lord, help me to be like you in this specific act of discipline, when you and I have a controversy with God, as I've often told people in pastoral counseling, look, you better capitulate. Fighting with God is losing business. God's never impressed with a stuck-out lowe...

14:24 - 15:22 Read in full sermon

The point: Be discreet in physical discipline due to societal scrutiny; if you have a pediatrician appointment, consider letting a minor offense go on Monday.

He shares an anecdote of a pastor friend whose children were examined by Dyfus (Division of Youth and Family Services) due to bureaucratic authority, highlighting the need for discretion in discipline in a hostile society.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Because it's not, really, it's not beyond the pediatrician to turn your name in, and with the bureaucratic structure with Dyfus now, you can have someone come to your front door with no constitutional authority, purely bureaucratic authority, and march in and grab your kid and pull their trousers down and examine them. And I know that to be a fact.

21:12 - 21:33 Read in full sermon

The point: Be wise as serpents and harmless as doves in applying discipline, recognizing the perverse morality of society.

Martin draws a stark contrast between society's concern for child abuse and its practice of abortion, calling it a 'perverse morality' to highlight the hypocrisy and the challenging climate for Christian parents.

This is the society supposedly so concerned about child abuse and they go right on cutting them up and sucking them out of mother's wombs and putting the little pieces together to make sure they haven't left anything in there. It's sick. Call me abusive when with pain to my own heart and my own emotions I apply principled discipline to my children while they turn around and kill babies by the millions in their mother's wombs. What a perverse, perverse morality.

26:01 - 26:35 Read in full sermon

The point: Consider placing a child over the knee for discipline to ensure accurate striking and to gauge their resistance.

He uses the analogy of MRI isolating the knee to explain how placing a child over the knee for discipline provides better aim and control, ensuring the strike lands where intended without injury.

Mm-hmm. Yes, if you get a, well, again, if the child is trying to go with the blow, he could end up wrenching the back. There are a number of benefits for the knee. For someone who used a hand like I did, it was like in the magnetic resonance imaging with my knee.

28:22 - 28:40 Read in full sermon

The point: Do not allow man-made rules to bind you in discipline if God does not scruple about using His hand or a rod/stick.

He quotes Psalm 39:10, 'I'm consumed by the blow of thy hand,' to argue that if God uses His hand to afflict, parents should not scruple about using their hand for discipline, countering the idea that the hand should only be for love.

Psalm 39, verse 10. Remove thy stroke away from me. I'm consumed by the blow of thy hand. When thou with rebukes dost correct man for iniquity, thou makest his beauty to consume away like a moth.

31:33 - 31:48 Read in full sermon

The point: Do not allow man-made rules to bind you in discipline if God does not scruple about using His hand or a rod/stick.

He recounts a story of a family in Jersey whose child's crying during a spanking led to Dyfus intervention due to open windows and neighbors hearing, illustrating the need for discretion in a hostile environment.

But again, as Pete has underscored, we need to be wise as serpents in this matter. We had a family years ago that had a third-floor apartment. It was hot. It was an old wood-frame home.

32:48 - 32:59 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: He shares a personal anecdote of using a belt for discipline in an extreme, prayerfully considered case with a teenager, emphasizing that this was an exception and not a general…

Martin shares a personal experience of using a belt for discipline on a teenager in an aggravated circumstance, after much prayer and fasting, to illustrate that extreme measures may be needed in exceptional cases, but not as a general rule.

Yeah.

34:18 - 34:18 Read in full sermon

The point: Instruct older children that pointing out a younger child's fault is not 'snitching' or 'ratting' when done responsibly.

Paul's mention of being informed by Chloe's household about divisions is used to argue that reporting faults is not 'snitching' but a legitimate way to address issues, even in the church.

If you speak of anyone's fault to another, that's snitching, that's ratting. That isn't snitching or ratting. When Paul says, it was reported unto me by the household of Chloe, there are divisions among you. Was he guilty of ecclesiastical snitching and ratting?

46:02 - 46:18 Read in full sermon

The point: Teach older children to distinguish between real culpability that should be reported and niggling things that ought to be overlooked in love.

Paul's exhortation to Euodia and Syntyche to be of the same mind is used to show that issues within the church are reported and addressed, further countering the 'snitching' mentality.

If so, Paul commended him for it. And how did he know that Yodi and Syntyche were fussing with one another if Epaphroditus didn't tell him when he came with his gift? So he says, I beseech Yodi and Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. He says, you two sisters stop fussing and butting heads with one another so that we need to instruct the older children in how we should treat them.

46:18 - 46:40 Read in full sermon