The Righteous Use of the Tongue #2

Driving home: However, the measure of our duty is never determined by what God may do in his exceptional workings.

The story of God extending a 24-hour period for Joshua's battle is used to illustrate God's exceptional workings, contrasting them with His ordinary means which determine our duty.

Rather, our duty is determined by his revealed will and ways as recorded in the scriptures. God did one day stretch out, a 24-hour period long beyond its ordinary ticks of the clock in order to help Joshua win a mighty battle. But as we planned the services of this day, we assumed it would be comprised of 24 hours with 60 ticks to each second, 60 seconds to the minute, 60 minutes to the hour, and it's right that we should do so. And nowhere are these principles more crucial than the fact that we must set limits on what God may do above and beyond his ordinary means of working.

1:12 - 1:56 Read in full sermon

The point: Do not pass on a cruel legacy of only pointing out fault to your children; teach them by example how to pick up a stooping heart with words.

Martin recounts pastoral counseling experiences where individuals reported their parents only opened their mouths to point out fault or holler, never to encourage, highlighting a cruel legacy to avoid.

And the children will learn it, first of all, as they see it in you. I've been amazed in pastoral counseling situations when I've asked many of you sitting here, did your parents ever give you verbal encouragement? They said no. The only time the parent's mouth was open was to point out fault.

11:02 - 11:20 Read in full sermon

The point: Teach your children to encourage their siblings and even their parents when they are discouraged.

An example of a mother teaching her children to verbally encourage their discouraged father, demonstrating how children can learn the art of lifting a 'stooping heart.'

Teach them by your example how to pick up a stooping heart by the power of words and then teach them how to apply that to their siblings, how to apply it to their own parents. You mothers, when you know the dad's discouraged, things are not going well at work. You teach your little daughter and son, look, daddy's down. Daddy's discouraged.

11:36 - 11:57 Read in full sermon

The point: Teach your children that guarding their mouth is a matter of the well-being of life itself.

A child's strong negative aversion to spinach ('I hate spinach') is used to illustrate the kind of conscious, emotional aversion children should be taught to have towards lying.

But a wicked man is loathsome and comes to shame. Now, it's one thing for your kids when you say, now, mommy doesn't know what to fix tonight with vegetables. Shall we have corn or peas? The kid likes corn and peas.

14:07 - 14:22 Read in full sermon

The point: Teach your children to be a faithful witness, telling the truth even if it means facing negative consequences.

Martin shares a personal story from his childhood where he had to confess taking a candy bar and lying about it to the grocery store man, illustrating his parents' commitment to teaching faithful witness.

Don't allow fear of self. Fear of consequences to alter the truth of faithful witness will not lie. Even if telling the truth means I must be spanked, I must be grounded. I must be exposed and put to shame before my siblings, before my class at school, or as in my case, more than once put to shame before the local grocery store man.

19:00 - 19:27 Read in full sermon

The point: Teach your children that a true witness delivers souls and that honesty is always the best policy, even if it doesn't immediately appear so.

The ease of breathing is used as an analogy for how easily a child can become accustomed to lying if their conscience is not conditioned by Scripture.

Notice the marginal reading not only utters lies, but breathes out lies. You see, once a child gets accustomed to lying, he learns to do it as easily as breathing. Easiest thing to do. You've all been sitting here doing breathing.

19:57 - 20:12 Read in full sermon

Driving home: I've said because a soft answer turns away wrath. Now, you've got to call me a liar. And if so, then please get up and walk out of this place and go somewhere else where you've got a true man in the pulpit or believe me …

Martin recounts his parents' method of intervening in sibling fights, where both children 'got it' because a fight requires two, teaching the principle of the soft answer turning away wrath.

That stirs up anger. And before long, you got to fight. The other is the soft answer. And as my parents would do it, two of us were fighting, they came into the midst of it.

22:30 - 22:42 Read in full sermon

Driving home: I've said because a soft answer turns away wrath. Now, you've got to call me a liar. And if so, then please get up and walk out of this place and go somewhere else where you've got a true man in the pulpit or believe me …

Martin shares how he has fielded insulting questions from church members by applying the principle of a 'soft answer turns away wrath,' demonstrating its practical power in church life.

So you both get it was academic who started because if one of us had given the soft answer, it would have turned away wrath. And then this text got preached into us. And how many times it has saved a church split in Trinity Church coming up in our twenty fifth year. And we've never had a church split in this place, we've never had a congregational meeting where angry words have been spoken.

22:51 - 23:17 Read in full sermon

Driving home: I've said because a soft answer turns away wrath. Now, you've got to call me a liar. And if so, then please get up and walk out of this place and go somewhere else where you've got a true man in the pulpit or believe me …

An analogy of asking a certified physician if he knows what an elbow is or how to take blood pressure is used to illustrate the insulting nature of certain questions and how a soft answer can diffuse tension.

It was spoken by someone full of himself or herself, full of pride. It was absolutely demeaning. You think I didn't feel it being demeaned before several hundred people by a stupid question and be like me saying to Dr. Ruhle today, who's been up here to take his board certification for family.

24:26 - 24:45 Read in full sermon

The point: Teach your children the principle of a soft answer turning away wrath in the context of the home, especially when they speak grievous words that stir up anger.

The physical breaking of skin or bones by a strap or rod is contrasted with the tongue's ability to 'break the spirit,' emphasizing the deeper, more destructive power of words.

But look at the negative perverseness therein. That is, perverseness in the use of the tongue is a breaking of the spirit. You see, the tongue can do what the widest strap and the thickest rod cannot do. A strap and a rod can break a man's skin or a man's bones, but they can't break his spirit.

26:29 - 26:52 Read in full sermon

The point: Begin training children from the very threshold of speech that they do not have an unqualified right to say anything they want, at any time, in any circumstance.

The imagery of a 'scorching fire' is used to describe the destructive power of a worthless man's lips, comparing it to severe burns that leave lasting scars, emphasizing the deep harm words can inflict.

Remember what we saw? Last week, rash speaking was like the piercings of a sword. And when you're pierced with a sword, deep life threatening internal injuries occur with very little blood on the outside. Now look at the imagery scorching fire.

38:14 - 38:31 Read in full sermon

The point: Teach your children that their tongue is a blowtorch that can burn and scar others, and if words don't work, use the rod of correction to connect pain with harmful speech.

The tongue is vividly described as a 'blowtorch' that can burn the skin of future spouses and children, illustrating the intense, scarring damage unrighteous speech can cause.

You know what a blowtorch is? Want me to pump up the gas? Have the flame come out? Move it to your cheek?

40:21 - 40:31 Read in full sermon

The point: When children harp on a little issue, ask them if they would like others to constantly remind them of their own faults, and teach them to cover matters with love.

The common English phrase 'stop harping on that issue' is traced back to the Bible, illustrating the concept of constantly dwelling on a minor transgression to separate friends.

You didn't know how many of our English phrases came out of the Bible, did you? Oh, stop harping on that issue. Where did that come from? Right out of the Bible.

41:54 - 42:01 Read in full sermon

The point: When children harp on a little issue, ask them if they would like others to constantly remind them of their own faults, and teach them to cover matters with love.

Martin uses the humorous scenario of a limited person being esteemed wise simply by keeping quiet among talkative, ignorant people, to illustrate the value of silence when one lacks knowledge.

But somehow he's learned how to keep his mouth shut. So here a group of people are sitting around all shooting off at the mouth like they know something, and the more they talk, the more they're spewing out their ignorance. He just sits there listening very quietly. Stranger comes in and says, you know, I bet that guy knows more than all of them put together.

43:30 - 43:51 Read in full sermon

The point: Teach your children that it is prudent to keep their mouth shut when they don't know something, as silence can be esteemed as wisdom.

Martin shares his own experience as a leader declining to speak on subjects where he lacks sufficient knowledge, demonstrating the practical application of knowing when to keep silent.

As a grown man, one esteemed in many circles as a leader. I'm asked to do. And to speak on subjects where I don't have sufficient knowledge to speak on it. And I tell people, I say, look, you've got the wrong person.

44:50 - 45:02 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin applies Proverbs 18:6-8, describing a fool's lips as leading to contention and destruction, and whisperers' words as 'dainty morsels' that deeply wound. He shares a…

Martin recounts his parents' unique approach to report cards, where an A2 or A3 (high grade, low effort/character) was met with trouble, while a C1 (low grade, high effort/character) was praised, illustrating the emphasis on diligence and character over natural ability.

If God's given them anything of a good mind, they will be stroked and pride will be nurtured in areas where you have no control over it. And you need under God to seek continually to emphasize the issue is not what God gave them in the gray matter, but what they're doing to make acquisitions by pains and prayer and carefulness. Some of you heard me say this before, but others you haven't. So I'm repeating it, not because I'm getting old and senile, because you need to hear it in our report cards, in our school, all through grammar school, that two marks at your A, B or C.

47:07 - 47:49 Read in full sermon

The point: If your children show a tendency to welcome verbal battles, use the rod of correction until that foolishness is driven out and they learn not to be contentious.

The analogy of a drunk with stinky Limburger cheese on his mustache complaining 'This place stinks' is used to describe contentious adults who constantly find fault and move from church to church.

Otherwise, what happens? They become grown up. They become church members and they're always fault fighting, always causing contention, and they're like the drunk with the old stinky Limburger cheese on his mustache everywhere he goes. This place stinks, can't stand around here.

50:35 - 50:51 Read in full sermon

The point: If your children show a tendency to welcome verbal battles, use the rod of correction until that foolishness is driven out and they learn not to be contentious.

Martin recounts a humorous experience at an elegant restaurant where a single, tiny 'dainty morsel' appetizer was served on a huge plate, illustrating how something small can be presented with great significance and deeply consumed.

They go down into the innermost parts. There's a picture of someone bringing a lovely spread of orders. My wife and I can't get over this. It was the most amusing thing recently happened in our trip out to the Midwest.

51:27 - 51:40 Read in full sermon

The point: Teach your children the horrible, devastating influence of whispering, emphasizing that it is never morally innocent and goes down into the depths of the soul.

The 'dainty morsel' illustration is applied to whispered words, explaining how they penetrate deeply into the soul and can be recalled years later to destroy a person's credibility, even after a blameless walk.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me. Oh, it's not true. The words whispered you're on the end. You see, I'm your friend.

54:21 - 54:34 Read in full sermon