Return to Domestic Piety

Driving home: Our use of the term, our vision for these days, is but an application of what we read in 1 Chronicles 12 and verse 32 concerning the men of Issachar who had understanding of the times that they might know what Israel oug…

Martin uses the metaphor from Jeremiah 17:5-6 of a 'heath in the desert' to describe the cursed man who trusts in man, contrasting it with the well-watered garden for those who trust in God, to emphasize dependence on God.

Our Father, we are mindful of Your Word, which tells us, Cursed is the man who trusts in man, and makes flesh his arm, and whose heart departs from him. You have said that such a one shall be like a heath in the desert. He shall inhabit a parched place in a wilderness where no water is. And our Father, we know, many of us who are Your children, what it is to inhabit the parched places that have come as the fruit of our own creature confidence.

0:52 - 1:30 Read in full sermon

Driving home: Our use of the term, our vision for these days, is but an application of what we read in 1 Chronicles 12 and verse 32 concerning the men of Issachar who had understanding of the times that they might know what Israel oug…

The men of Issachar, who had understanding of the times, are presented as an example for the conference's theme of 'our vision for these days,' highlighting the need for discernment.

Our use of the term, our vision for these days, is but an application of what we read in 1 Chronicles 12 and verse 32 concerning the men of Issachar who had understanding of the times that they might know what Israel ought to do. Or, in the language of the passage read in our hearing, it is our effort to respond in obedience to the injunction of the Apostle in Ephesians 5, 15 and following, Look therefore carefully how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise, redeeming the time,

3:53 - 4:35 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: The re-establishment of godly family life ideally starts with contracting godly marriages. This requires maintaining biblical standards for selecting a marriage partner…

Martin describes the common experience of 'starry-eyed kids' marrying based on love, only to find disillusionment, which sometimes leads them to the gospel, illustrating that godly family life doesn't always begin with a godly marriage.

The reestablishment of godly family life, ideally begins with the contracting of godly marriages. Now I have said ideally because I recognize that according to the scriptures and in keeping with the experience of not only God, a few of you sitting here, though you now have by the grace of God what could be called a godly family life, it did not begin with the contracting of a godly marriage. It began perhaps with two starry-eyed kids running off and thinking that everything would turn out beautifully because you, quote,

12:00 - 12:43 Read in full sermon

The point: Use every means at our disposal to pass on to our children, and to regulate our assessment of those whom they may begin to be interested in, in terms of godly standards, not karma.

He poses a scenario where a handsome son chooses a 'relatively plain Jane' because of her godliness, challenging parents' pride and worldly standards for a marriage partner.

We must have eternal standards, personal taste, personal ambition, social standing, or our own unmortified pride. Are you prepared, mom and dad, to introduce to anyone in the circle of your influence a relatively plain Jane, whom your handsome son has set his eye upon, because he has seen through her relatively plain eyes, that she is a woman of God. She is a woman of God. She is a

17:25 - 17:57 Read in full sermon

The point: Use every means at our disposal to pass on to our children, and to regulate our assessment of those whom they may begin to be interested in, in terms of godly standards, not karma.

Martin presents an example of a daughter drawn to a 'blue-collar' man with gnarled hands but a heart after God, challenging parents' social ambitions and pride in partner selection.

mortified. Are you prepared? Should your daughter find her heart beginning to be drawn with romantic interest, the thought of a potential marriage partner, someone who in terms of his background in training and natural endowments, was never cut out to make his way up the corporate ladder, never cut out to make his way up the corporate ladder, never cut out to make his way up the

18:37 - 19:05 Read in full sermon

The point: Maintain biblical standards for the commitments of marriage partners.

Martin critiques Dwight Harvey Small's argument that if a marriage goes sour, it was 'a marriage God never made,' labeling it 'sophistry' and a twisting of scripture to fit a covenant-breaking age.

What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. And it will not do to take the position that Dwight Harvey Small has taken in recent years and others with him. That if along the road in the marriage it becomes evident that the relationship is going sour, and the spark is gone and nothing can reach. We kindle it, or if the marriage is born the shock of some unusual area of disruption through unfaithfulness or through lack of fulfilling this or that commitment.

28:43 - 29:22 Read in full sermon

The point: Pass on as a legacy to our young men and women, this biblical standard for the commitments that the marriage partners make one to another.

Martin shares his personal testimony of tears and wrestling in the first two or three years of his marriage, emphasizing that they knew they could not look for a way out, but had to work through difficulties, illustrating commitment.

And I stand before you as one who can testify that the first two or three years of our marriage had lots of tears.

31:48 - 31:58 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Godly family life is built upon nurturing godly husband-wife relationships, where husbands cultivate a loving, assertive, communicative, sensitive, nurturing headship, and wives…

He uses the analogy of God giving humans nine months of gestation (unlike rabbits) to highlight God's design for couples to focus on being good husbands and wives before becoming parents.

God has so ordered it that he gives every couple at least nine months to work on being a good husband and a good wife before you have to begin to learn how to be a good mom and a good dad. Now, God could have made us that our gestation rate was the same as rabbits. He could have, but he didn't. He didn't.

33:40 - 34:08 Read in full sermon

The point: Men must first of all be committed to cultivating by every discipline and means of grace at our disposal a loving, assertive, communicative, selfless, sensitive, nurturing headship over our wives.

Martin quotes an author describing a past president as a 'man of steel and of velvet,' applying this imagery to Christ's character and then to the ideal husband's headship: firm in principle, tender in impact.

He expects us to somehow read the unspoken symbols of his love and of his nurturing care. I love the imagery one author in an excellent book on Christian manhood took from words used of a past president in our country. He said he was a man of steel and of velvet. With respect to the commitment to principle, a willingness to bear the burden of leadership, and all that goes with it, he was a man of steel.

38:36 - 39:13 Read in full sermon

The point: If we do not have as a sacred wall around us in this sensitive area, a selfless, mutually satisfying, intimate life, we're going to be sitting ducks for scandalous impurity.

He recounts God telling Ezekiel He would take away 'the desire of your eyes,' using this to illustrate the ideal of a husband's exclusive devotion to his wife, regardless of age, and a wife's responsibility to remain attractive to her husband.

Involved in that, of course, is something some of us don't want to face. When God said to Ezekiel in chapter 24, verses 15 and 16 of Ezekiel's prophecy, strange words, God was going to have strange dealings with him. But he could say to the prophet, who was no spring chicken at the time, the word of the Lord came unto me, saying, Son of man, behold, I take away from you the desire of your eyes with a stroke. You shall neither mourn, nor weep, nor tears run down.

51:40 - 52:17 Read in full sermon

The point: Wives, continue to be the desire of your husband's eyes, carrying and keeping yourself in a way that honors God, not foolishly defying age.

Martin uses the example of a 70-year-old woman trying to defy age with jet black hair and pink mud to illustrate the foolishness of superficial attempts to maintain attractiveness, contrasting it with genuine self-care.

Now you dear wives, that's the challenge upon you, to continue to be the desire of your husband's eyes. And so to carry yourself and keep yourself, not to defy age and gravity and wrinkles and the loss of subcutaneous fat in the folds, of your face. No, no, none of that foolishness, nothing more stupid looking than a 70-year-old woman keeping her hair jet black and trying to rub out her wrinkles with pink mud.

53:51 - 54:26 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Godly family life is augmented by creating godly parent-child dynamics, characterized by a pervasive climate of principled love, a pronounced atmosphere of mutual respect and…

He contrasts genuine 'principled love' in a home with 'saccharine and gush,' emphasizing that true love is evident in respectful interactions, not just effusive displays.

You're in that home for half an hour and you say, whatever the glue is that keeps this thing together, it's got written all over it, principled love. It isn't that everybody's going to everyone else every five minutes and stroking them and saying, oh, sweetie, honey, sweetie, honey, honey, sweetie, sweetie, honey.

57:44 - 58:02 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Godly family life is augmented by creating godly parent-child dynamics, characterized by a pervasive climate of principled love, a pronounced atmosphere of mutual respect and…

Martin illustrates mutual respect by describing a child dropping plates and contrasting a demeaning parental response ('You dummy!') with a dignified, understanding one, connecting it to an elder's requirement to rule his house with dignity.

The little ones, and not so little ones, may have their part in helping get the table set. And when one of them is bringing out the plates, lo and behold, being conscious that visitors are present and a little bit awkward in their presence, he'd drop the stack of plates.

61:00 - 61:18 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Godly family life is augmented by creating godly parent-child dynamics, characterized by a pervasive climate of principled love, a pronounced atmosphere of mutual respect and…

He shares an anecdote about the historical reason for the bride standing on the groom's left (to keep his right hand free for his sword), using it to highlight the historical roots of chivalry and deference to women as symbols of masculinity.

Breeders' Digest helped me find out. In the days when warriors would at times take their brides by force in the towns that they conquered, taking them back to their own domiciles, they kept their right hand free in order to draw their sword and fend off the critters that might want to come and take the beautiful young woman they were taking out of town. That's supposedly given as the real reason. But whether that's so or not, brethren, in all seriousness, do you see the principle, the words, chivalry,

67:55 - 68:39 Read in full sermon

The point: Give constant wearisome vigilance to the task of nurturing children, looking for character weaknesses and tendencies.

Martin shares a personal story about his mother's meticulous instruction on scrubbing floors, emphasizing the principle 'the job worth doing is worth doing well,' to illustrate the constant, wearisome vigilance required in godly discipline and instruction.

Constantly looking for the indications of character weaknesses and tendencies which you see if not corrected here at the point of the triangle there's only this much distance between a virtue and a vice in a given area but you see that out here twenty years later, how I thank God for a mother who was always looking from the point of the triangle down the road to a thirty, forty, fifty year old man and her words still ring in my ear and I'm tempted to cheat on that next dimension of pushing an issue to the point where I could with real certainty nail down the significance of that word or phrase

74:15 - 75:00 Read in full sermon

The point: Women, get honest about how much time is frittered away that could be spent on facets of character development with your sons and daughters, and cry to God for forgiveness.

He challenges women to honestly assess time spent 'yacking on the phone' versus time spent on character development with their children, highlighting a common area of neglect in parenting.

No will! Yes, women. When if you're honest and if you're not honest I challenge you to be. Get a three by five card and put it by your telephone and when you get on that phone mark the time and when you get off mark it down and total up how much time you're yacking on the phone throughout the day and then total up how much time you've sat with your sons and daughters and then total up how much time you've sat with your sons and daughters and then total up how much time you've sat with your sons and daughters working on facets of character development and look the ugly reality square in the eye...

75:43 - 76:27 Read in full sermon

The point: Men, get honest about how much time is frittered away that could be spent pouring over the wonderful legacy of stuff that has been reprinted... and asking God for wisdom to know how to impart them to your sons and your d…

Martin references specific books and authors (George McDiarmid, James James' 'Female Piety') as examples of valuable resources for parents seeking wisdom in raising their children, encouraging their study.

You men, get honest about how much time is frittered away that could be spent pouring over the wonderful legacy of stuff that has been reprinted, taken up out of the rubble of indifference and brought forward in our day. The trilogy of books that our brother George McDiarmid has helped to see the light of day. The reprint of James James' book on female piety. My wife's been reading sections of it to me.

76:27 - 76:55 Read in full sermon

The point: If the climate of your home is not that climate that we describe with those dynamics, gather the family and tell them God has shown me this is what our home is, this is what it ought to be, and daddy confesses his sin an…

He shares an anecdote about a husband whose marriage was transformed after hearing a sermon on the climate of the home, illustrating God's power to bring repentance and change even in long-standing marital issues.

before you pillow your head and have dealings with God and if the climate of your home is not that climate that we describe with those dynamics gather the family and tell them God has shown me this is what our home is this is what it ought to be and daddy confesses his sin and daddy's committed to seeing a transformation I close with this one simple anecdote and a number of you will be able to relate to it it's been very humbling and encouraging to hear how many of you have taken the series on how not to foul up the training of your children have used it in various ways in your own assemblies ...

80:22 - 81:06 Read in full sermon