Biblical Directives for Godly Grieving, Part 1

The point: Grieve over the loss of a loved one in a way that glorifies God.

Martin shares the personal story of his wife's death eight weeks prior, setting the context for his sermon on godly grieving from a deeply personal perspective.

Biblical Directives for Godly Grieving, Gleanings from a Grieving Heart. This is the title I've given to our study in the scriptures this morning, and God willing, next Lord's Day, and possibly a third Lord's Day as well. Well, as most of you are well aware, it was eight weeks ago, September 20th to be exact, that my wife of 48 years breathed her last and entered into the presence of her Lord and her Savior.

0:14 - 0:55 Read in full sermon

The point: When called to grieve, go back over the fundamental realities of where departed loved ones are and what their condition is.

Martin recounts listening to his own sermon on the state of departed saints before and after his wife's death, demonstrating his personal application of the principles he preaches.

When you are called to grief, at the loss of a very intimate, dearly loved one who dies in Christ, go back over these fundamental realities of where they are and what their condition is if you ever hope to grieve to the glory of God. I've practiced what I preached. When I picked up my daughter Heidi out in western Pennsylvania, someone having brought her halfway here from Michigan, two weeks before my loved one went home, to be with the Lord. On the way back from Pennsylvania, we listened to my sermon preached back a couple of years ago,

7:37 - 8:19 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin provides scriptural evidence from Ezekiel 24, 1 Thessalonians 4, James 4, and Romans 12 to prove that God commands specific emotional responses and that believers are…

The description of Ezekiel's wife as 'the desire of your eyes' is used to illustrate that even in old age, marital passion and attraction are biblical and godly, making God's command not to mourn even more profound.

And yet, the Almighty God is going to use an event in the life of Ezekiel, in the death of his wife, to teach a vital lesson to the people of Israel. And here we read in Ezekiel chapter 24, verse 15, the following. Also the word of the Lord came unto me, saying, Son of man, behold, I take away from you the desire of your eyes with a stroke. What a beautiful way to describe his wife.

12:45 - 13:17 Read in full sermon

Driving home: What comfort has flowed into my heart in the most painful moments of feeling her loss to think of what my Savior has gained. And to fix my mind upon the fact he has gained the desire of his heart.

Martin quotes A.W. Pink's commentary on Psalm 116:15 ('Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints') to emphasize that Christ rejoices at the death of His saints, fulfilling His prayer in John 17:24.

In one of the many emails sent to me, this one from Scotland, this brother wrote, May you be comforted by Psalm 116 and verse 15. Precious. In the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints. And then he quotes A.W. Pink on this text.

32:47 - 33:05 Read in full sermon

Driving home: To depart, this thing I desire, is exceedingly far better than remaining, though to live is Christ.

Martin imagines his departed wife looking at him with a 'sinless, condescending look' as he struggles with morning weariness, contrasting his earthly limitations with her unceasing, joyful worship in heaven.

And when I got up early in the morning, kind of staggered down, bleary-eyed to the kitchen to make my cup of coffee, I tried to think of what she had, and what she might say if she knew what was going on. And I tried to picture her looking at me with a kind of a sinless, condescending look, saying, you poor creature. Here you are staggering downstairs, get a cup of coffee to get a little shot of caffeine to your brain before you can go up and worship and pray. And I've been at it all night, and I'm not weary.

41:30 - 42:03 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: The third guideline encourages focusing on the common hope shared with the departed loved one: the resurrection of the body. Both the believer in heaven and the grieving believer…

Martin recounts telling his wife before her death that she would be so beautiful after resurrection that he wouldn't recognize her, illustrating the glorious transformation awaiting believers.

Paul says, like unto the body of his own glory. The prototype will be his own glorious, resurrected, ascended, glorified body and he's going to take what is there in that plot of earth and fashion it like unto his own. As I said to my dear wife a few weeks before the Lord took her, as I knelt by her bedside and I said, sweetheart, when God's done with you. You're going to be so beautiful I won't recognize you.

46:20 - 46:56 Read in full sermon

The point: Think of what you are gaining because of the loss of your loved one (e.g., increased heavenly-mindedness, intensified communion with Christ).

Martin quotes a brother's letter that his wife, by being in heaven, would serve as a 'long cord to draw and keep your affections heavenward,' illustrating how loss can deepen spiritual focus.

quickly let me just touch on this final one think of what you are gaining think of what you are gaining because of the loss of your loved one not only think of what Christ gains what they gain what others will gain but think of what you're gaining one dear brother wrote just prior to my loved ones home going. Assuring me of his and his churches prayers but then he said this. My own heart is ached for you as you spend yourself caring for your flock while you tend most lovingly to the needs of your dear wife she who will likely precede you into the immeasurable

54:21 - 55:03 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: The final guideline is to recognize what the grieving believer is personally gaining through their loss. This includes increased heavenly-mindedness, intensified communion with…

Martin shares a humorous anecdote about his widowed sister Joyce talking to herself or the Lord, and how he now finds himself doing the same, illustrating a new level of communion with Christ in his loneliness.

I used to laugh. I used to laugh at my sister Joyce when she was with me. She's been a widow for ten years. I'd say, Joyce, I can't hear you.

57:29 - 57:37 Read in full sermon

The point: Get into Christ, even for 'crass, selfish reasons,' so you might know these consolations when loved ones are taken.

Martin describes the difficulty of comforting his unconverted children in their grief, highlighting the lack of gospel consolations for those outside of Christ.

I want to focus upon those of you who are not in Christ. And yet you may have a spouse or children or friends. When they go, the one who's in Christ, you don't have these consolations. You should see me trying to comfort my two unconverted children.

59:07 - 59:26 Read in full sermon