The Biblical Training of Our Children, Part 1

In this part of the sermon: Martin argues that the biblical training of children is a highly appropriate subject for a Reformed Baptist conference, given their commitment to large families and the desire to…

Martin recounts a humorous anecdote about elders joking about a church sign regarding family planning, highlighting the abundance of children in Reformed Baptist circles.

We have as elders at times jokingly said that we ought to have a sign professionally done placed in our foyer which says, attention all visitors, contrary to all appearances, this church takes notice no official position on responsible family planning. But seriously, we are delighted that in a day of zero population and the madness of independent career pursuits in which people regard children as a luxury to be held off until one's late thirties and then to use every kind of bizarre means to have a child after one has pursued his career, many of us are delighted that the biblical concept that ...

6:19 - 7:44 Read in full sermon

The point: Show me from the word of God where your job as a father is done when you bring home the paycheck and occasionally discipline, and that all child involvement is mama's task.

Martin describes the common modern notion of a father's role as merely financial provider and occasional disciplinarian, contrasting it with the biblical mandate for deep involvement.

statement of holy scripture is nothing short of radical in the context of late 20th century american society and family life the notion that the father is the primarily assigned to to being a high and rainbow child the father is principle the mother is principle origin gone whispering delusion and contradiction the supreme lacrosse is teaching the world superhuman religion slavery extension hollywood mr wednesday i mean in the last century medical children are born on all serenities they're the princess you are a war ladies and gentlemen sit down from oscars edwards home des lasted 10 years we...

15:25 - 16:44 Read in full sermon

The point: Show me from the word of God where your job as a father is done when you bring home the paycheck and occasionally discipline, and that all child involvement is mama's task.

Martin distinguishes between becoming a father genetically (an act of passion) and biblically (taking up the cross of self-denial), emphasizing the spiritual cost of true fatherhood.

I don't mean to be coarse, but becoming a father genetically is the act of a moment of passion.

18:38 - 18:46 Read in full sermon

Driving home: Being a father biblically is a taking up of the cross of self-denial.

Martin compares the ancient practice of offering babes to Moloch with the modern practice of sacrificing children to 'mammon' by handing them over to daycare for career pursuits.

And in our day it's assumed, Uncle Sam owes us daycare centers to care for our children, to nurture our children, so that we can have the luxury of going, and having an independent career, and paying for a lifestyle that is not essential, but is one that we have idolatrously said we must have, even if we must sacrifice the rising generation upon the altar of our carnal ambitions. While we read with horror the practice of offering babes into the fiery lap of the heathen god Moloch, I tell you there's a more subtle form of offering up babes, babes into the gobs of mammon. Hand them over to dayca...

20:47 - 21:43 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin addresses the 'who' of the command, unequivocally stating that Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21 lay the primary responsibility for godly training upon fathers, not…

Paul's description of his ministry in 1 Thessalonians 2, using imagery of both a nursing mother and a father, illustrates the lead role of a father in nurture.

And this is beautifully illustrated in Paul's own pastoral experience. He assumes that this would have been the case in the church there at Thessalonica. For he likens his pastoral ministry to that of a father who is taking the lead and bearing the burden of the nurture of his children. Look at 1 Thessalonians chapter 2.

22:25 - 22:49 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin addresses the 'who' of the command, unequivocally stating that Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21 lay the primary responsibility for godly training upon fathers, not…

Paul's imagery of a wet nurse cherishing a child is used to convey pastoral tenderness, setting up the contrast with a father's more authoritative nurture.

And there is a problem of precisely how to translate it. And it all rests upon a textual problem. Just one or two different letters. In the original text would make the rendering, we were gentle in the midst of you as when a nurse cherishes her own children.

22:59 - 23:20 Read in full sermon

The point: Begin to take seriously that God lays the burden of godly training on your shoulder and confess your sin of throwing the burden off on Mama.

Martin uses the metaphor of needing 'sixteen-pound sledge hammers with spikes welded to the end' to break through the hard-hearted, self-justifying pride of men, contrasting it with the sensitivity of Christian women.

That's right. And you know why? Because as I said to someone at the previous conference when you're going after the average Christian woman's conscience you can get her with a blow of a feather and she breaks. The average Christian woman.

40:21 - 40:37 Read in full sermon

The point: Seek the Lord while He may be found, calling upon Him to make you a true Christian, especially if your inability to be a good father stems from never having been converted.

Martin gives the example of giving up 'bacca juice' or chewing tobacco as a superficial change, not true salvation, to highlight the need for radical, internal transformation.

No that's not real salvation. Nor am I asking you if you have a so called salvation that is simply refined some of the external some of the external patterns of your life. You don't go around with bacca juice drooling out the side of your mouth anymore. You don't chew you don't spit you don't even dip snuff.

44:13 - 44:30 Read in full sermon

The point: Examine your priorities and unmortified pride regarding your commitment to a healthy local church, as God has ordained its total ministry to make you a competent father.

Martin critiques the character of Mr. Huxtable from 'The Cosby Show' as an example of 'wimpyism' in fatherhood, lacking true leadership and challenge to his family.

I want you to look with your own eyes at what Paul said in verse 17 and following what is he saying this I say therefore in testifying the Lord that you no longer walk as the Gentiles walk in the vanity of their mind being darkened in their understanding alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them you see what he is saying he's saying your whole lifestyle the lifestyle of those who are steeped in the ignorance and darkness of pagan perspectives on life that your patterns of life are no longer shaped and molded by the world's perspectives that grow out of their stick...

51:35 - 53:04 Read in full sermon

The point: Resolutely determine to reject the dark and vain worldly concepts of parenting and manhood (like wimpyism or sick machoism) and go to the Bible for God's teaching on fatherhood.

Martin uses Archie Bunker as an example of 'sick machoism,' treating his wife and children as mindless objects, to illustrate a carnal and unbiblical model of manhood.

of diversionary tactics with his teenage children who occasionally will have a little mild but fundamentally Dr. Huxtable is the essence of a horrible wimp of a father and if you learn what it is to be a father from Bill Cosby you in big bad shape man on the other end of the spectrum you young men don't get your notions of what it is to be a man what it is to be a parent from the sick machoism it won't be long before they'll be doing another rerun of Archie Bunker he's the essence of carnal machoism treats his wife like a chattel a mindless thing whose opinions don't matter and you see the tra...

53:04 - 54:32 Read in full sermon

The point: Resolutely determine to reject the dark and vain worldly concepts of parenting and manhood (like wimpyism or sick machoism) and go to the Bible for God's teaching on fatherhood.

Martin contrasts the physical, muscle-bound image of Sylvester Stallone with true biblical manhood, arguing that real manhood is purchased through self-denial and time with God, not Nautilus machines.

from Sylvester Stallone's bulging biceps pecs and lats with the veins standing out in his biceps who grunts instead of talks can you imagine him sitting a child upon his lap on his knees saying honey what's bothering my little one it's incongruous isn't it and yet he's the model of manhood his manhood is purchased five hours a day at Nautilus machines this kind of manhood is purchased at a dearer price in the secret place with God and in a life of self-denial oh you young men I could take any one of you and put you under intense training and inside of a couple of years you could win a local bo...

54:32 - 56:02 Read in full sermon

The point: Resolutely determine to reject the dark and vain worldly concepts of parenting and manhood (like wimpyism or sick machoism) and go to the Bible for God's teaching on fatherhood.

Martin shares a personal anecdote of being angry with his son, describing the internal warfare between wanting to strike him and the Spirit's call to repentance, illustrating the need to not grieve the Spirit.

swelling bitterness what happens it grieves the church in these times I am a dweller the church of the concubines is not a place that is the place of the only goodness what we live whatsoever but I believe in the world and that I inches from him and I was mad and I had him by the shirt and I said son there's a warfare going on in me there's one part of me that wants to knock you clean across this room but there's another part of me says if I did it I just have fuel for repentance and you better be thankful that the latter part is stronger than the former that's what I told him I had to be hone...

58:59 - 60:22 Read in full sermon

The point: Have dealings with God tonight, get right with Him, and cut out anything that is grieving the Holy Spirit in your relationships or private life, or you will never be the father God commands.

Martin uses the metaphor of 'rounded corners' to describe how a Christian's commitment to radical holiness can erode over time, citing the example of tolerating inappropriate content on TV.

It's to be radical holiness. We're not to let the edges get worn off by the pressure. There was a time when watching your television, an ad came on with a half-bare-breasted woman and you shot out of your seat like someone had stuck a firecracker in your britches and you turned it off. Now you just sit and shake your head and say, but you're still watching.

62:10 - 62:35 Read in full sermon

The point: If you are not a husband who is loving and cherishing his wife, picking up on signals of need, you cannot nurture your children effectively.

Martin gives examples of fathers being insensitive to their wives' needs, buried behind a paper or book, and not actively cherishing them, which impacts their ability to nurture children.

Maybe this is where many of you fathers can't cut it with your kids. They see the harsh insensitive treatment of your wife. They see your wife, their mother sending out a thousand signals to you for a little attention, for a little interest. They see you utterly insensitive to those signals buried behind your paper.

63:56 - 64:24 Read in full sermon

The point: If you are not a husband who is loving and cherishing his wife, picking up on signals of need, you cannot nurture your children effectively.

Martin provides an example of a husband lovingly nudging his wife out of the kitchen or giving her money to 'get lost at the mall' as acts of cherishing that children observe.

They can't remember when they've seen that. They can't remember when they've seen you say to your wife honey here here's twenty bucks go get lost at the mall. You can spend it all on ice cream. Spend it on tiddlywinks.

64:49 - 65:02 Read in full sermon

The point: Pursue the goal of being an effective father with arduous effort, recognizing it as secondary only to knowing and loving the Savior.

Martin cites Eli's incompetence as a father despite being a priest, and David's failure as a father despite being a successful warrior, to illustrate that competence in other areas does not equate to godly fatherhood.

Now in my closing application I want to say this. There is no task under heaven more demanding than that of being a spirit filled father. The Bible records the competence of Eli as priest in Israel but his total incompetence as a father. The Bible records David the successful warrior the efficient steward statesman and leader of Israel who was basically a flop as a pop.

68:54 - 69:23 Read in full sermon

The point: Pursue the goal of being an effective father with arduous effort, recognizing it as secondary only to knowing and loving the Savior.

Martin uses the analogy of different ice cream flavors to explain how David's polygamy (six wives) set him up for further sin (Bathsheba), as he was always seeking something 'a little better' than what he had.

Sweet Israel was a sour father in his own house. How could he teach his son's virtue when he'd been tasting the flesh of six women against the clear teaching of God in Deuteronomy 17.17 The king shall not multiply unto himself wives. And when David broke the biblical norm of monogamy he was set up for his horrible sins sin with Bathsheba because if he'd had six different kinds of ice cream maybe the seventh would taste just a little better.

69:25 - 69:57 Read in full sermon

The point: Set your sights in the light of this teaching when looking for Mr. Right, ensuring he possesses the qualities that will make him a godly father.

Martin tells young women that a physically attractive man (Prince Charming) who lacks the qualities of a godly father will become 'ugly' in their eyes when he fails to nurture their children, while a less attractive but godly man will become 'handsome'.

Don't be satisfied with anything less. And as I told the young women at Bluffton listen if he's got a nose this long if he's five feet three and bow-legged grab him inside of ten years he'll be the handsomest guy on the face of the earth in your eyeballs.

72:35 - 72:51 Read in full sermon

The point: Go home with the book of Ephesians this week and pray, 'Oh God, make me that kind of man,' giving yourself to this pursuit rather than idle pursuits or false standards.

Martin shares his personal joy of seeing his two daughters marry 'Ephesians men,' reinforcing the value of seeking these qualities in a spouse.

Are you hearing me? I'm talking as a father who's had the joy of seeing his two daughters marry Ephesians men.

73:42 - 73:51 Read in full sermon