Dealing with Our Awakened Children, Part 4

The point: Sustain a loving, consistent, non-nagging pattern of nurture, even when a child's period of awakening wanes.

An evangelist called Martin, broken over realizing he had made his 15-year-old daughter's acceptance conditional on her being a Christian, leading her to manifest no internal affinity for God. This illustrates the danger of conditional acceptance and the importance of unconditional love.

You see, again, the decisional mentality has affected many of us more than we realize. And though there are a few places in the New Testament where conversion or saving grace are joined to tenses of the verb that point to, to their initiation or their once-for-all uniqueness on the threshold of passing from nature into grace, the dominant emphasis of the verbs in the New Testament with regard to faith indicates that faith must be perceived as a disposition of believing, a continual reposing of the soul upon Christ, and likewise with repentance, a continual turning from sin unto God through Chr...

8:04 - 9:18 Read in full sermon

The point: Be very careful about the spiritual influences to which you subject your children, avoiding decisionistic environments.

Martin states that deceitful hearts will 'take up with a false hope quicker than a rabbit takes up with carrots,' illustrating the natural human tendency to embrace false assurance.

Suppose that somewhere in pre-teens or early teens we decisioned one of our own children or one of our own children was decisioned elsewhere. He says, where we must be very careful to the spiritual influences to which we subject our children. Because remember their hearts are natively antinomian hearts. Hearts that will turn the grace of God into lasciviousness.

17:13 - 17:39 Read in full sermon

The point: Be very careful about the spiritual influences to which you subject your children, avoiding decisionistic environments.

Martin cites reports from Christian camps and an article in Eternity Magazine about a Christian rock star, which boast statistics of 'decisions for Christ.' This illustrates the pervasive decisionistic mentality in modern evangelicalism and its focus on numbers rather than genuine conversion.

Deceitful hearts that will take up with a false hope quicker than a rabbit takes up with carrots. Now knowing that we do not want to put our children under spiritual influences that will undo in a decision framework all that we have been seeking to build through years of godly nurture. So you beware of sending your kids off to Christian camps to youth conferences and other things where decisionism is the order of the day. Because if you read the reports of Christian camps as I do at least one two I can think of two or three that I'm on their mailing list and I get them regularly and of youth m...

17:39 - 19:06 Read in full sermon

The point: If older children have been subjected to decisionism, sit down with them and intelligently explain your concern that they might place undue confidence in a past decision, redirecting their focus to Christ and the ongoing…

Martin describes the common practice in Christian camps where children throw sticks on a fire to symbolize dedication to Christ, highlighting how peer pressure and emotional contagion can lead to superficial 'decisions' rather than true conversion.

and upon the duties and privileges of living as a Christian and just open that up to them and say mummy and daddy see that perhaps we have been off center in this matter or we have been and we ask you to forgive us we were well intentioned we meant well but we would fear let us your soul should be in jeopardy by allowing yourself to put too much stock in the fact that you had wonderful feelings or this great upheaval because we know from the scriptures that even in mature adults men can taste the word of God and the powers of the world to come they can receive the word with joy and yet the scr...

20:34 - 22:03 Read in full sermon

The point: Protect your children from decisionistic Christian conferences and camps that rely on peer pressure and emotional contagion.

He compares the emotional contagion at Christian camps to the electric atmosphere at Shea Stadium when 40,000 people chant 'Let's go Mets,' illustrating how psychological factors can be mistaken for supernatural spiritual manifestations.

to be left out standing there in the cold without throwing somebody said what are you talking about well I got to remember so many of you come out of backgrounds where this stuff would sound weird but one of the common practices in Christian camps the last night is to have dedication services and everyone stands with a stick and then a challenge is given to dedicate yourself to Christ and if you are the stick represents giving yourself to him and so someone comes forward who will be first to dedicate himself to Christ and the stick is thrown on the fire and before long in most of those situati...

22:03 - 23:33 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Mr. Bishop shares a powerful testimony of confronting his son about a false profession of faith, which later led to genuine conversion, illustrating the importance of discerning…

Mr. Bishop shares his personal story of confronting his son, Paul, about a superficial profession of faith, which later, after 13 years, led to genuine conversion through the influence of a church member. This illustrates the need for parental discernment, courage to confront, and the long-term nature of God's work in salvation.

and have a true urgency without decisionism as the framework in which our children are nurtured in the church in the home and in the school now that's a rather likely answer to your question but I hope at least amidst all of that there's been some stuff that will be substantial alright yes Mr. Bishop yes excuse me for those of you visiting with us Mr. Bishop's word carries weight with many of us because he's been with us well for 24 years I think right Mr. Bishop 23 years he's been a deacon for many years and is our minister of visitation and has gone through some deep struggles with the pilgr...

25:01 - 26:30 Read in full sermon

The point: Enforce the duties of the law and gospel upon children by means of nurture, including the rod, to subdue the will and impart wisdom.

Martin recounts his mother telling his father, 'Give him some more, Dad, he's not sweet yet,' referring to spanking until his will was submissive and he did his duty cheerfully. This illustrates the goal of biblical discipline: not just outward compliance, but subduing the will and fostering a cheerful obedience.

then these are the things you will desire to do these are the things God expects of you and the whole question of are they are they not saved that they want to have resolved immediately and we'd love to have resolved immediately may simply not be brought to resolution because of the very nature of Christian nurture and that's what's difficult because that's why I said we've got to have that sanctified restraint upon our own natural desire to know that they are safe and it takes grace to keep restraint upon that desire while having an open funnel of the proper expression of that desire in nurtu...

33:54 - 35:24 Read in full sermon

The point: Avoid 'diversionary tactics' in discipline; confront and resolve challenges to the child's will and authority directly.

Martin uses the analogy of stalactites and stalagmites forming from drops of water over hundreds of years to explain that character is formed by the accumulation of 'little things' – consistent resolution of small challenges to a child's will and authority – rather than big heroic deeds.

characters made up of the accumulation of the little things characters not formed by big heroic deeds and tests the big tests simply reveal the character that's been formed by what I call the stalactite stalagmite process if you go into some of these caves and caverns and you see these huge stalactites and stalagmites you say how'd they get there a drop of water with a lot of limestone in it over many dozens sometimes hundreds of years a drop at a time until these huge stalactites and stalagmites are formed well that's the way characters formed it's the drop drop drop of the little areas where...

38:22 - 39:50 Read in full sermon

The point: Avoid 'diversionary tactics' in discipline; confront and resolve challenges to the child's will and authority directly.

He describes a scenario where a child is about to touch an expensive vase despite being told not to, and the parent's temptation is to remove the vase (diversionary tactic) instead of administering discipline when the child disobeys. This illustrates the danger of avoiding confrontation and leaving the child's will unchallenged.

characters made up of the accumulation of the little things characters not formed by big heroic deeds and tests the big tests simply reveal the character that's been formed by what I call the stalactite stalagmite process if you go into some of these caves and caverns and you see these huge stalactites and stalagmites you say how'd they get there a drop of water with a lot of limestone in it over many dozens sometimes hundreds of years a drop at a time until these huge stalactites and stalagmites are formed well that's the way characters formed it's the drop drop drop of the little areas where...

38:22 - 39:50 Read in full sermon

The point: Be armed with the Word of God and basic theology to apply wisdom in each situation, knowing when to bring forth somber or brighter aspects of biblical instruction.

Martin recalls a situation with one of his children where a serious, calculated lie led to thorough instruction on how lying breaks meaningful communication, causing the child to go around under a 'tremendous cloud' for days. This illustrates how to press specific biblical truths at opportune moments to condition the conscience.

this is a time to bring forth the more somber aspects or the brighter aspects of biblical instruction and motivation for example I can remember a situation with one of our children when the first time I became aware that a lie had been told a real serious blatant calculated lie well not only was there discipline for the lie but at that point there was thorough instruction as to what lying would do to all meaningful communication between a father and his son or daughter and the result was that for several days that child went around under a tremendous cloud daddy has said that if I lie all comm...

48:43 - 50:12 Read in full sermon

The point: Inculcate the fear of God in children, meaning the awareness that God exists and is relevant to everything they do, even if it creates 'problems' of conscience.

Martin shares his personal experience of being haunted by the concept of eternity and the fear of hell as an unconverted youth, despite not being converted until age 18. This illustrates how a conscience conditioned by the fear of God, even if unpleasant, can drive one away from sin and make the gospel relevant when it is finally heard.

then just to assume that we're dealing with a wrong doing just say I'm sorry I'm not a horizontal to your brother to your sister and then we forget about it that's all there is it may bring problems if you say to the children you have to also get right with God because God exists and what you're doing also has to do with God what you're doing is you're inculcating the fear of God by that I mean the awareness that God exists and that God is relevant to what you do that's what we better inculcate that's what's desperately lacking and needed yes and it may produce problems they may say am I forgi...

54:00 - 55:29 Read in full sermon