Theology of Singleness

In this part of the sermon: Examining Genesis 1-2, Martin establishes that singleness was not God's original plan or norm for humanity, as evidenced by the creation of male and female and the institution of…

Martin compares Genesis 2 to a zoom lens, providing closer details on the creation of man and woman that are only broadly stated in Genesis 1. This helps to explain the relationship between the two creation accounts.

And then in chapter 2 you have an enlargement of some of the details of this. It's as though chapter 2 is a zoom lens. We look at the creation of man from the distance in Genesis 1. And all we read is, God made them male and female.

4:59 - 5:16 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Examining Genesis 1-2, Martin establishes that singleness was not God's original plan or norm for humanity, as evidenced by the creation of male and female and the institution of…

Adam's astute mental capacity in naming animals is used to refute evolutionary ideas about human intelligence, emphasizing Adam's original perfection and the immediate need for a suitable companion.

For out of the ground the Lord had formed every beast of the field, and every bird of the heavens, and brought them unto the man to see what he would call them. And whatsoever the man called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And may I pause to say, you see the whole idea that man's intelligence developed in the evolutionary process and all the rest is just hogwash. At this point, Adam has a very, very astute mental capacity, and he's able to reflect upon the particular distinctions and functions of the animals and give them names according to those distinctions and functions.

5:37 - 6:11 Read in full sermon

Driving home: in creation, singleness was not the divine plan or the divine norm.

God causing a deep sleep to fall upon Adam before creating Eve is described as the 'first case of someone being an anesthesiologist,' highlighting God's direct, purposeful action in creation.

Verse 21. The Lord caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, is the first case of someone being an anesthesiologist. The Lord put him to sleep, and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof. And the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

7:23 - 7:45 Read in full sermon

The point: Look upon the longings, hopes, drives, aspirations, and sense of incompleteness that come with extended singleness not as sinful, but as simply manifestations of our humanity.

An unnamed 'old servant of God' is quoted distinguishing between 'old man,' 'new man,' and 'simply human' characteristics. This helps to categorize the longings of singleness as part of normal humanity, not necessarily sinful or virtuous.

And as one old servant of God said, and there were many areas where this man's theology was hopelessly distorted, but in this area he was right on target. He said there is that which is characteristic of the old man, that is life severed from Christ, and that must be dealt with by mortification. There is that which is characteristic of us as new men and women in Christ, that must be cultivated. But then there is that which is simply characteristic of us as human.

12:23 - 12:52 Read in full sermon

Driving home: Though we cannot say with absolute certainty that had sin never entered, there would be no such a thing as perpetual singleness, it is accurate to say that the majority of the causes of perpetual singleness are direct re…

The weary farmer toiling by the sweat of his brow is presented as a 'monument to the curse of God' on the ground, illustrating how the fall brought disruption to the created order and human labor.

Now, the fall not only brought great disruption in terms of Adam and Eve's relationship to their God, but also it had great implications to the whole earth and to all human relationships. You remember in Genesis 3 that God cursed the ground. This earth that you and I walk over, when we go out and take a walk and dodge the shotgun shells today, that is not the earth as God originally created it. It lies under a curse.

15:03 - 15:30 Read in full sermon

Driving home: Though we cannot say with absolute certainty that had sin never entered, there would be no such a thing as perpetual singleness, it is accurate to say that the majority of the causes of perpetual singleness are direct re…

War is given as a major cause of the imbalance between available men and women, directly linking perpetual singleness to the destructive effects of the fall.

You gals just face the facts. You are five percent shy of a hundred percent availability in men. Now what's one of the major causes of that? One of the major causes is war, which continually bleeds off the marriageable age of young men.

17:17 - 17:37 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin asserts that while singleness itself isn't sin, the majority of its causes are direct results of the fall. He identifies seven specific causes, including war, selfishness…

The example of a home where a father beat his mother or a mother was unfaithful is used to illustrate how the sin-filled experiences of childhood can lead to fears of marriage and perpetual singleness.

In the fourth place, there are these fears of marriage because of the tragic example that some of you had growing up. That's a result of sin. It was sin that caused your father to beat your mother. It was sin that caused your mother to be untrue to your father.

20:02 - 20:19 Read in full sermon

Driving home: And I'm convinced that this is one of the most prevailing, most sinful, most sinful, most sinful, most sinful, the causes of extended singleness, perverted notions of what you're looking for in a potential husband or a p…

Martin shares a pastoral observation that women initially perceived as 'homely' became 'beautiful in my eyes' over years as he saw their inner worth. This illustrates how true godliness and character can transfigure external appearance, challenging worldly standards of beauty.

Fellas, that's worldly. Listen, I have seen, and it's been an amazing thing, just from a pastoral standpoint, and I'm not speaking as a husband now, I'm speaking objectively from the outside. I've seen people when I first came to the present sphere of ministry going on 13 years ago, that my first reaction to certain women was, boy, aren't they homely. But you know what's happened over the years as I've come to see their true worth?

27:10 - 27:35 Read in full sermon

The point: Pray, 'Lord, if the cause of my continued singleness is to be found in an area of sinful perspective and attitude, then, Lord Jesus, you came to save your people from their sins.'

The instability of marriages among 'beautiful people' in Hollywood is used to demonstrate that external beauty is insufficient to sustain a marriage, reinforcing the biblical emphasis on character over appearance.

That's why he said, grace is deceitful and beauty is vain. That's why all the beautiful women, all the beautiful people out in Hollywood, live together for a few years, then try marriage for a year or two, and then bail out. Their beautiful faces and their beautiful bodies aren't enough to hold them together for life.

27:58 - 28:13 Read in full sermon

The point: If gluttony or intemperance makes you undesirable, Jesus Christ came to save you from that, and shedding pounds will be evidence of His saving work.

Martin asks, 'if you didn't shrink in the presence of a king would you shrink in the presence of a grasshopper?' This analogy encourages believers to overcome sinful self-consciousness by remembering their identity as children of the King of the universe.

I don't mean to be unkind God came to save you from that you're a child of the king you can walk into the presence of the king of the universe with your head high why can't you hold your head high in the presence of any of his grasshoppers that's what God calls us the inhabitants of the earth are his grasshoppers if you didn't shrink in the presence of a king would you shrink in the presence of a grasshopper that's why we go back to my fundamental assumption we're children of the king the God of heaven and earth and if that kind of awkwardness is what's crippling you from making the initial ov...

31:41 - 33:10 Read in full sermon

The point: If your problem is tendencies to femininity as a man, Jesus Christ came to save you from that and work in you sufficient masculinity.

Martin uses the example of 'soft musician's hands' to illustrate that masculinity is not about physical stereotypes (like Burt Reynolds' physique) but about inner strength and character that a woman can trust. This helps to broaden the understanding of biblical masculinity.

so the devil works by means and that many times a fellow with homosexual tendencies it can be traced back to a situation where there was no strong male image in the home and the mother was the dominant figure I know all of that business but I also know that if God put me together to be a man he can give me grace to be masculine that doesn't mean he'll make me the most masculine man in all the world he's not going to turn me into a Burt Reynolds so that I may have hair coming up over the top of my shirt and out the back of my shirt

33:10 - 33:47 Read in full sermon

The point: If you ache for a life partner, consider that God might be withholding one to prevent idolatry, for your eternal salvation.

Sickness, an abnormality of the fall, is used as an analogy to explain how God can harness singleness as a discipline of His grace, overruling its negative aspects for saving purposes.

to singleness if the cause of that singleness is sinful there is power to deal with that cause and therefore with its effect second proposition is this God in redemption can employ singleness as a discipline of his grace now is sickness an abnormality brought about by the entrance of sin into the world yes or no yes all right sickness was not in the original creation was it it's one of the effects of sin but now follow closely has God harnessed sickness to accomplish the purposes of his grace he has hasn't he my grace is sufficient for thee he said to Paul my strength is made perfect in your w...

36:44 - 38:11 Read in full sermon

The point: If you ache for a life partner, consider that God might be withholding one to prevent idolatry, for your eternal salvation.

Martin suggests that God might withhold a spouse or child to prevent idolatry, illustrating how singleness can be a merciful discipline of grace to protect one's eternal salvation.

as a discipline of his grace you see some of you who ache for a life partner you don't know your own heart for the scripture says whoso trusteth in his own heart is a fool and your loving father who knows you knows that if he ever gave you a husband or a wife you would make such an idol of that human being that you would damn your soul forever and God mercifully to save you from self-destruction is withholding a life partner from you because he has higher ends in view namely your eternal salvation you see God knows that some of you if you ever held a child in your arms would become so idolatro...

38:11 - 39:39 Read in full sermon

The point: Handle perpetual singleness with trustful submission to God's goodness and wisdom, just as one would a chronic physical problem, saying, 'Father, not my will but thine be done.'

Martin recounts how couples he counseled later affirmed the importance of his emphasis on the 'work' involved in marriage, contrasting idealistic views with the realistic challenges. This illustrates that singleness might be a protection from pressures some are not equipped to handle.

it'll give you some biblical realism about what marriage is all about and in my premarital counseling that's the one thing I go after more than anything else is to try to give these young people a realistic view of what it means to fuse two lives together and years later when they come back they'll say pastor the one thing that meant something above all else is when you kept telling us that you're going to have to roll up your sleeves and work that seemed so unreal to us then but we know now what you were talking about we didn't just flow together like two rivers that happen to meet at the sam...

41:04 - 42:16 Read in full sermon

The point: If you are a married woman, you are to be careful how you please your husband, not spending all your time on devotional books but attending to household duties.

Marriage is described as a 'door that only has hinges moving in one direction,' emphasizing its permanence and indissolubility. This analogy highlights the seriousness of the commitment and the disciples' reaction to Jesus' teaching.

And then, of course, you have the classic statement of our Lord in Matthew 19, 12. Our Lord has been speaking about the permanence of marriage, and it frankly scared the disciples, because they lived in a context where a fellow didn't like particularly the way his wife looked. He'd write her out a bill of divorcement and say, you've had it, babe, go. That's it.

45:20 - 45:41 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Building on 1 Corinthians 7 and Matthew 19, Martin explains that God can use singleness as a special instrument for advancing His kingdom, allowing individuals to serve Him…

Jeremiah is presented as an Old Testament example of a sensitive prophet commanded by God not to marry, illustrating how singleness can be a specific calling for kingdom purposes, despite personal longings.

Who's the old? The Old Testament example. Can you think of him? A man that, humanly speaking, needed a wife more than anyone else from what we learn of his character.

48:14 - 48:25 Read in full sermon

The point: Believe that God in redemption can make you happy, content, and fulfilled in your singleness if that is your God-appointed lot.

The story of ravens feeding Elijah by the brook Cherith is used to illustrate God's sovereign power to provide, even by acting contrary to nature, and to teach trust when normal provisions are withheld.

He caused ravens to act contrary to their nature. They're a carrion-eating bird. And God causes ravens to put fresh flesh in their beaks and not consume it, but carry it to a prophet and drop it as he's hiding by the brook Cherith. That God could supply my need.

53:58 - 54:15 Read in full sermon

The point: When sinful anxiety about singleness arises, return to the divine pattern of prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, spreading your case before the Lord again and again.

Martin shares his personal experience of the 'pangs of singleness' during his early ministry, describing the ache for companionship and intimacy. This serves to demonstrate empathy and validate the real struggles of single individuals.

I'm not insensitive to the pangs of singleness. Though I married what we considered relatively young, I had a lot of responsibility for four to five years before I was married in the work of the ministry. And I know the pangs of singleness. I know what it's like to come home after a day of pouring out my life in ministry to others and come to the four walls of a dingy little house down in South Carolina, down in Georgia.

58:48 - 59:14 Read in full sermon