Practical Considerations

In this part of the sermon: Martin clarifies that discussing benefits of singleness is not to elevate it above marriage, but to identify its unique compensations. He outlines four areas: spiritual (freedom…

Comparing the benefits of eating apples to pears, Martin clarifies that discussing the benefits of singleness does not mean it is superior to marriage, but that it has unique advantages.

Now when I speak of the benefits of singleness, I am not speaking in terms of greater advantages than the married state. If I talk about the benefits of eating apples, I'm not knocking eating pears, or saying that eating apples is better than eating pears. I'm simply saying there are certain physical advantages in eating apples that are not to be found in eating pears. But eating pears has certain physical advantages that eating apples will not give you.

2:26 - 2:53 Read in full sermon

Driving home: That you may attend upon the Lord without distraction. Now, that's the key phrase. That I may spare you of cares, that you may be free from cares, that you may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

Anna, a widow who worshipped with fasting and prayer night and day, is presented as a New Testament example of someone who used her single state for spiritual advantage.

may spare you of cares, that you may be free from cares, that you may attend upon the Lord without distraction. And so the apostle intimates that there are distinct spiritual advantages to the single state. Therefore, the single person who has learned to discipline the added time, the conserved energy, of the single state can make spiritual strides that that same person in the married state would not be able to make. Now, you find at least two clear examples of this in the New Testament. You have in Luke chapter 2, a wonderful example of a woman who used her single state, in this case, the sta...

7:30 - 8:42 Read in full sermon

The point: Recognize your singleness as a peculiar stewardship and consciously embrace its privileges.

The Apostle Paul's decision to forgo marriage for the sake of pioneer missionary work is used as an example of the evangelistic advantages of singleness.

of the soul. And the middle one is the age when the child is the age of the soul, and the middle one is the age when the child is single. So therefore, let's get into the common sense of the value of the first one. The first one, the rest of the apostles verse 5 then he talks about his other rights the right to live of the gospel the right to be free from the trappings of the ceremonial law these are his rights as a christian as a son of god he's free from any kind of asceticism which would say you can't be married you can't eat he's free from any kind of of bondage to these matters yet he say...

13:55 - 15:21 Read in full sermon

Driving home: Since marriage is the most intimate of all human relationships, it is the most sanctifying of all human relationships.

Human relationships, especially intimate ones, are likened to sandpaper, serving as a means of sanctification by revealing sin and fostering virtue.

Secondly, the more intimate the human relationship, the more potentially sanctifying it becomes. People from a distance neither aggravate me, provoke me, nor influence me for my better, for my good. But it's when we get into closer proximity to each other that something in them provokes something in me and brings to the surface an attitude, a disposition that is sinful, that is wicked. Or in that closer relationship, I see a virtue in them that I begin to emulate and imitate and it's for my well-being.

27:47 - 28:24 Read in full sermon

Driving home: I've rarely met a bachelor who gets much beyond 30 who grows significantly in likeness to Christ while remaining a bachelor. Rarely.

The common stereotypes of the 'self-centered, insensitive, egotistical bachelor' and the 'joyless, jealous, sour maiden' are cited as observations of how prolonged singleness can impede character development.

The picture, the picture of the self-centered, insensitive, egotistical bachelor didn't come from nowhere. It did not come from nowhere. Double negatives, but it's still good English. It did not come from nowhere.

31:01 - 31:19 Read in full sermon

The point: Accept your present state of singleness as a wise, loving dispensation of your loving heavenly Father.

Adam's willingness to sleep while God made Eve is used as an example of contentment and trust in God's timing for marriage.

There's no indication that Adam was running around pulling God's skirt, saying, God, when in the world are you going to get an Eve for me? He was willing to sleep while God made his Eve. Are you? You see what I'm talking about now?

40:50 - 41:06 Read in full sermon

The point: Exploit your present state of singleness in all of its advantages, living to the hilt the will of God today.

The saying 'the grass is always greener' is used to illustrate that marriage is often romanticized, and singles may later 'hanker' for their single state once married.

There'll be times when you say, oh, if only. That's right. That's right. See, you look at marriage very romantically and unrealistically, most of you.

42:14 - 42:26 Read in full sermon

The point: Work on your undesirables by seeking honest feedback from trusted spiritual friends about what makes you undesirable as a marriage partner.

The idea that 'magic gases' at the marriage altar or in the honeymoon suite transform a person is used to emphasize that one brings to marriage only what they are in their single state.

He that is in unjust in little is unjust in much. You see, a woman or a man does not bring anything into marriage but what they bring to marriage. And you bring nothing to marriage but what you have in your single state. There's no magic gases that surround the front of a church when you say I do that change you into some kind of a mighty spiritual giant, a sensitive, tender man, and a loving, obedient, submissive woman.

43:28 - 43:59 Read in full sermon

The point: Put yourself in the place of legitimate contacts and acquaintances with other believers.

Martin shares his personal preference for brunettes after 18 years of marriage to one, illustrating how physical ideals can change and are less significant than character.

This is no insult to blondes, but after living with a brunette for 18 years, blondes look so blah to me now. They just do. When I was a teenager, I thought blondes were great. Now, blondes, meh.

50:28 - 50:44 Read in full sermon

The point: Ask God to dig down into the deep levels of your personality and bring to light those real reasons for avoiding marriage, then deal with them by God's grace.

A story of a young man who confessed homosexual tendencies at a wedding is used to illustrate how deep-seated fears can prevent marriage and how God's grace can bring healing.

But let me just conclude with one or two incidences that may help you. There was one young man in past ministries, not a member of our church, so you Trinity people don't sit there and talk. Who one day at a wedding, of all places, came up to me with almost a wild look in his eye and says, I've got to speak to you. Apparently, the whole wedding ceremony was a big one.

60:42 - 61:15 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin concludes with encouragement, sharing anecdotes of individuals delivered from deep-seated fears and past scars (homosexual tendencies, childhood trauma, family infidelity)…

The anecdote of a man scarred by witnessing parental intimacy as a child is used to show how past trauma can lead to a fear and avoidance of marriage.

In other incidents, I think of where someone years before, when he was a little boy, some indiscreet parents left a bedroom door open, and he saw things that scarred his young heart. This is why he avoided marriage, because he said, if that's what marriage means, I can't. And it's been his fear, rooted in something in the back, maybe you, maybe that's you. Well, you need to start facing that thing.

62:23 - 62:44 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin concludes with encouragement, sharing anecdotes of individuals delivered from deep-seated fears and past scars (homosexual tendencies, childhood trauma, family infidelity)…

Martin shares his wife's background of deep fears and revulsion to marriage due to family infidelity, illustrating how God's therapeutic grace can heal past scars and build a wholesome relationship.

My wife is the product of a home that broke up two times. She had deep fears about marriage, a deep revulsion to marriage. Some of her closest friends, it was talk of the town that there was infidelity. To her, marriage was nothing to be desired.

62:57 - 63:14 Read in full sermon