Effective Fatherhood, Part 2

In this part of the sermon: The sermon transitions to the first basic factor of effective fatherhood: setting specific goals for children's development, exemplified by Paul's goal for the Thessalonians to…

An imagined scenario of dropping into Thessalonica and asking Paul about his labors, illustrating his clear, self-conscious goal of the Thessalonians walking worthily of God.

What they did as spiritual fathers was all pointing towards this one grand goal, namely, the Thessalonians walking worthily of God. If you were, as it were, to drop down in a helicopter in Thessalonica, and see the apostle in the wee hours of the morning making tents, and throughout the day preaching in the synagogue, taking individuals aside, and admonishing and exhorting, if you were to see him amidst all of his labors, and break in at any point, tap him on the shoulder, and say, Paul, what in the world are you trying to accomplish? What are you doing burning the midnight oil making tents? W...

9:36 - 11:05 Read in full sermon

The point: Derive your goals for your children from the Word of the living God, not your own notions or societal consensus.

Paul scratching his beard to 'conjure up a goal' is used to contrast human-invented goals with biblically revealed goals for children.

Did he go out one day, sit down on a log somewhere, and scratch his beard, and say, oh well, any man who's worth his weight in salt has goals, so I better conjure up a goal. Oh, I've got an idea. I think a worthy goal would be the goal of having the Thessalonians walk worthily of God. No, no.

12:05 - 12:22 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin explains that these goals must originate from God's Word, not personal ambition or societal norms, and must be as comprehensive as Scripture demands, encompassing wisdom…

The maturation of Jesus in wisdom, stature, and favor with God and man (Luke 2:51-52) is presented as a pattern for the comprehensive scope of goals for children.

It is said of our blessed Lord in the period of His childhood, verse 51 of Luke chapter 2, And He went down with them, that is, Mary and Joseph, and came to Nazareth, and He was subject unto them. And His mother kept all these sayings in her heart. And in that framework of trustful, loving submission to Mary and Joseph, Mary, the one whose womb was the vehicle through which our Lord was brought into the world, Joseph, who was not His earthly father, for He had none. He was virgin, conceived, but was His father in that sense after the flesh, or in terms of a fleshly, earthly framework of respon...

15:56 - 17:22 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin explains that these goals must originate from God's Word, not personal ambition or societal norms, and must be as comprehensive as Scripture demands, encompassing wisdom…

Jesus' physical development (stature) is explained in terms of preparing for his arduous ministry, highlighting the importance of physical health in a father's goals for his children.

During the three and a half years of his labors, prior to his crucifixion, our Lord would be found in days of prayer and nights of prayer, days of prayer and fasting. He would be found preaching to multitudes without the aid of mechanical amplification. He had to have a well-developed set of stomach muscles. He had to have well-developed lungs.

18:23 - 18:49 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin explains that these goals must originate from God's Word, not personal ambition or societal norms, and must be as comprehensive as Scripture demands, encompassing wisdom…

Jesus tiptoeing into the house when a younger sibling was napping illustrates how he learned social sensitivity and grace as a child.

He learned sensitivity to people when he had to tiptoe into the... to the house when a little one was taking a nap.

20:53 - 20:58 Read in full sermon

The point: Prioritize wisdom over college education; if higher learning erodes wisdom, pull your children out with violence.

The phrase 'educated fools' is used to describe children who go to college without a goal of wisdom, but rather out of parental pride, leading to a rejection of God's wisdom.

And this damnable, cursed mentality, I've got to get my kids through college. Why? We've got more fools coming out of colleges than any other place. You own stinking pride, parents!

25:57 - 26:15 Read in full sermon

The point: Re-evaluate your priorities; stop spending all your spare time on leisure and hobbies, and invest it in fatherhood.

Examples of fathers spending all their spare time on hobbies like gardening, golf, TV, cars, fishing, or dreaming of cabins/boats, illustrate how leisure can displace the priority of fatherhood.

And that's the problem with some of you fathers. Your priorities are all mixed up. All your spare time is spent snipping your shrubs and feeding your lawn. All your leisure time is spent whacking a ball down a fairway, parked in front of your TV, tinkering with your car, wetting a line to try to boat a fish, dreaming of your cabin in the woods or your boat at the dock.

29:34 - 29:58 Read in full sermon

The point: Re-evaluate your priorities; stop spending all your spare time on leisure and hobbies, and invest it in fatherhood.

Comparing the longer work weeks and manual labor of past generations with the shorter, more automated work weeks of today, to argue that modern fathers are less effective due to a 'hedonistic' mentality of play.

It's a tragedy. It's a tragedy that in a day when men had a work week much longer than the current work week and when to mow a lawn meant you had to go out with the old reel-type mower and bush and sometimes go over the same spot three times because you let the lawn go a little bit too long and you had to clip the edges by hand. You didn't have weed whackers that go zing, zing, zing when men had a longer work week. And it took far more time to keep up the mundane responsibilities of the home.

29:58 - 30:27 Read in full sermon

The point: Thank God if you have parents who are 'always on your case' because they have goals for your character development.

Martin's personal experience of his parents 'always being on his case' is used to encourage children to appreciate parental discipline aimed at character development.

You resent the fact that your mom and dad are always on your case? As the in saying is, ah, they're always on my case. You better thank God if you've got a mom and dad who are always on your case. I do.

31:51 - 32:04 Read in full sermon

The point: As the administrator of your household, lovingly, graciously, and firmly bring areas into line, even when your wife's sensitivity might bend.

The direct line between teaching a child to govern their sweet tooth at age five and that woman being a good wife and mother at age 30 illustrates the long-term impact of early discipline.

And they know you girls are going to have to have bodies strong enough to bear children and to rear them and to endure the rigors of the household while at the same time being frustrated you don't give in to your sweet tooth and become so corpulent that your husband is then tempted to look elsewhere for someone that's attractive to him because he's not going to be because you've let yourself go to pot. See the relationship between teaching a child to govern his sweet tooth at age five and that woman being a good wife and mother at age 30? There's a direct line, dear people. Do you fathers see ...

35:18 - 35:53 Read in full sermon

The point: Use only scripturally warranted means for training your children, rejecting pragmatism and secular child development experts.

The word for 'comforting' in 1 Thessalonians 2:11 is linked to the friends comforting Mary and Martha after Lazarus's death, showing the range of verbal means Paul used.

Paul knew as a spiritual father, he had only the means of the verbal communication of the Word of God. But he used the full range of that means from exhortation, literally, to consolation and encouragement. It's the word used in John 11. Upon the death of Lazarus, when the friends came to comfort Mary and Martha.

38:50 - 39:12 Read in full sermon

The point: Administer means prayerfully, realizing that God must make them effectual.

The humbling experience of preaching to unconverted people for 15 years, despite using every biblical means, illustrates that God's blessing is essential for the effectiveness of means in fatherhood.

And few things are more humbling to an earthly father than is this tremendous, tremendous realization that God must make these means effectual or my children will turn out as though they never had a father who cared. It's just the same way spiritually. You want something to humble you? Preach to people who are unconverted under your ministry for 15 years.

45:24 - 45:53 Read in full sermon

Driving home: There is no task under heaven more demanding than that of being an effective father.

The biblical examples of Eli and David, competent leaders but incompetent fathers, illustrate that effective fatherhood is a demanding task requiring unique wisdom and grace.

The Bible records the competence of Eli as a priest in Israel, but his total incompetence as a father. The Bible records the competence of David as a successful and mighty warrior, as an astute statesman and leader, but he was basically a flop as a father. He could run a nation, but he couldn't run his own home.

47:38 - 48:02 Read in full sermon

Driving home: There is no task under heaven more demanding than that of being an effective father.

The analogy of corporation presidents succeeding in business but failing at home highlights that effective fatherhood requires more combined wisdom, grace, diligence, and discipline than running a corporation.

And there are corporation presidents whose families are in a shambles. Why? It takes more combined wisdom, grace, diligence, and discipline to be an effective father than it does to be a corporation president. That's why you've got corporation presidents who are making it in the business world who are flops at home.

48:04 - 48:27 Read in full sermon

The point: Pray in faith for the wisdom needed to mold your son and daughter, knowing God delights to answer this prayer.

The idea that God might keep someone on a lower rung of the corporate ladder to prevent spiritual destruction illustrates that God's will for promotion is not always guaranteed, unlike His will for wisdom in fatherhood.

You will find yourself hard-pressed to find chapter and verse to plead that with confidence before God. God may keep you on the bottom rung of the totem pole of your company's executive ladder because He knows one rung higher would kill you spiritually.

53:40 - 53:55 Read in full sermon