Punishment of Children

The point: Be conscious that when disciplining children, you are acting under divine orders and with divine authority.

The analogy of a Christian policeman apprehending a criminal in the name of the government (which acts in God's name) illustrates how parents discipline under divine authority, freeing them from guilt.

When he goes to apprehend a criminal, if someone's been involved in a crime, and he must be the, the instrument to see that man committed to the hands of the law, and ultimately perhaps even to death, back in the days when men believed the Bible and its mandate about capital punishment, that godly policeman need have no qualms of conscience that he is a murderer, that he somehow should be guilty for what he's done, for when he apprehends that criminal, he does so in the name of the government, who in turn acts in the name of God. Romans 13, there is no power but such as ordained of God. Now in...

11:31 - 12:48 Read in full sermon

The point: Do not be indifferent to the responsibility of administering the rod, as God will hold you accountable for this stewardship.

Martin uses his own role as a teaching elder, accountable for the stewardship of God's Word, to illustrate parents' accountability for the stewardship of the rod.

You know as a parent, when you stand before God, one of the things God is going to hold you accountable for is, how did you discharge the stewardship of the rod? Just as I, as a teaching, ruling elder, am going to be held accountable for this stewardship of the ministry of the word of God, Hebrews 13, 17, they who must give an account for your souls, that they may do it with joy and not with grief. I have a stewardship, a peculiar stewardship in the cause of Christ Church. As a teaching, ruling elder, I must give an account for how I administered that stewardship.

13:27 - 14:08 Read in full sermon

The point: Make it plain to your children that discipline is administered in God's name, not out of your temper.

Martin shares his personal practice of explaining to his children that he disciplines them because God commands him to, helping them understand the divine authority behind the spanking.

And may I say by way of a practical application of this, make this plain to your children. Let them know that they are not simply the object of a blown pressure valve in your temper room. If your rod is picked up not with a sense of divine stewardship but because something is irked, you put the rod down till you get your composure. Say to your children, as I think I may have intimated to you earlier, as I've done time after time with my children, now, what have you done?

17:24 - 18:00 Read in full sermon

The point: Do not provoke your children by setting unreasonable standards of conduct and then punishing them for failing to meet them.

The experience of having an unreasonable boss with unattainable expectations is used to illustrate how parents provoke and discourage children by setting unreasonable disciplinary standards.

You know what it's like. Some of you had a boss who had expectations of you that were absolutely unreasonable and when you didn't come up to them and you got his frown and you were chided for it after a while you say what's the use? You lose all your incentive, right? Well this is what Paul says children must not experience.

31:17 - 31:35 Read in full sermon

The point: Ensure your discipline is within the child's capacity to understand and that guidelines are clearly understood.

Martin recounts advising a couple not to discipline their one-year-old for touching a stove in a strange house, as the child was too young to make the association, illustrating the principle of disciplining 'within reason'.

Don't provoke them that they be discouraged. Have your standards of discipline within reason. Let me illustrate this. The other day we had a couple visiting us who have a little one just about a year old and they're really trying to do something in the area of disciplining the child.

31:35 - 31:53 Read in full sermon

The point: Implement the rod of correction with sufficient firmness so that it is not worth the child's while to disobey again.

Martin describes witnessing a father give a 'spanking' that was merely a light wrist flap, which was completely ineffective and failed to meet the standard of 'sufficient firmness'.

its little Adamic will and I saw this father give her what he called a quote spanking and after that I had no idea what it was and I actually kidded him about it and he got the message it was taking his wrist and making it very loose and making it come about four inches away from her little bottom and flapping his wrist on her little bottom like this now don't you do that again and so two or three diapers it was worth it to do it and thought of that little wrist action with the fingertips lightly brushing her backside it was perfectly worth it to go on in the course of disobedience again there...

39:19 - 40:48 Read in full sermon

The point: Implement the rod of correction with sufficient firmness so that it is not worth the child's while to disobey again.

Martin quotes John R. Rice's touching story of disciplining his beloved but stubborn daughter with sufficient firmness to leave blue marks, followed by prayer, to illustrate the necessity of firm discipline and its sanctifying effect.

understands at that age when reason and rational thought has little to do with its direction I read something very touching in John R. Rice's book there's much about Mr. Rice's theology that I wouldn't encourage anyone else to read because they're in the service of Christ and he learned his lessons from the Bible and in practical experience and his book the home courtship marriage and children has some excellent things in it and I thought this was a touching story I read it this week and I thought I'd pass it on to you this is what he says on this point about the same thing, and I was so vigor...

40:48 - 42:03 Read in full sermon

The point: Deal with delayed obedience as forcefully and faithfully as overt rebellion, because it is still disobedience.

Henry Brandt's story of 'Johnny' ignoring his mother's repeated calls until she reached a certain tone illustrates the danger of inconsistent discipline, which teaches children to disregard authority until a crisis point.

Henry Brandt, the Christian psychologist who's had such a fruitful experience, the ministry amongst so many in this area, tells the instance in his neighborhood where there was a little boy and he watched one afternoon. He was out playing and the mother next door called and she said, Johnny. Kid never turned his ear. Never looked.

50:18 - 50:35 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Discipline must be diligently and consistently applied, even in 'little things,' so that the child learns that the parent's word is law and that disobedience always has…

The analogy of government employees engaging in an illegal strike, despite knowing the rules, is used to show how early parental inconsistency can lead to a general disregard for authority in society.

What a terrible thing to imbibe in a child. Is it no wonder that that same little Johnny grows up and becomes part of a union that has in its very constitution that there will be no strike as government employees and that that child can hear the orders of a president and a mayor and a governor? And join his fellow workers and walk out on an illegal strike? Where did that all start?

51:05 - 51:32 Read in full sermon

The point: If you must raise your voice to gain obedience, you have built parental authority on a wrong foundation.

Martin quotes an old writer on family government who warns against threatening children in passion or making promises without thought, illustrating how parental inconsistency undermines authority and trustworthiness.

Voices of authority don't mean what they say. And this is how these terrible attitudes that are undermining our society took root and have come to this terrible expression, because there was none of this unrelenting consistency in discipline. Let me read from an old writer who, on the subject of family government, says along this line, keep your word to your children at any cost. I regard the love of truth as lying at the root of all dignity and excellence of character.

52:00 - 52:39 Read in full sermon

The point: If you need to speak a second time to secure a response or convince your child you mean what you say, your relationship is on a wrong foundation.

Martin quotes Mrs. Booth, wife of the Salvation Army general, who recounts a decisive disciplinary battle with her son at ten months old that set the tone for his future obedience, emphasizing the importance of early and consistent discipline.

Let me give the illustration she has here. I have a son who's now preaching the gospel and a great joy to my heart. The only, decided battle I ever fought with him was at ten months old. I do not say that he never disobeyed me afterward.

55:35 - 55:49 Read in full sermon

The point: Discipline proportionately to the offense, saving 'big guns' for bigger issues to maintain the remedial quality of the rod.

Martin shares a personal story of disciplining his son Joel for lying, using a belt on bare skin for the first and only time for that specific offense, to illustrate the principle of proportionate discipline for serious sins.

Let me illustrate. If a child is given to thoughtlessness, and is naturally an aggressive child, who shoots and then aims, who leaps and then looks later, and that child is told to come to the table, and he or she gets distracted and ends up bouncing the ball for a minute or two, that's disobedience and it must be dealt with. But the parent would be a fool who dealt with that form of disobedience in the same measure as they dealt with a calculated, deliberately planned lie. Now remember how forcibly this lesson was impressed upon me when the first and only time that I caught my son came to lig...

58:25 - 59:20 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin addresses the objection that other disciplinary methods are sufficient, arguing that the rod has a unique, biblically commanded place. He concludes by emphasizing the…

Martin quotes John R. Rice's argument that while other punishments have their place, whipping is uniquely commanded in the Bible and effectively settles matters quickly by subduing the rebellious will.

And I would say, I believe, certainly, there probably are. But I would like to quote John R. Rice at this juncture, because I feel what he says expresses my own mind. Someone says, aren't there more effective ways of punishing children than by whipping?

64:39 - 64:57 Read in full sermon