Assessing Sincerity Before Extending Forgiveness

In this part of the sermon: Martin introduces a hypothetical camping trip scenario involving a family. The first scene depicts John repeatedly dunking his sister Mary, apologizing insincerely, and invoking…

An extended hypothetical story of a family on a camping trip is used to set up two contrasting scenarios of seeking forgiveness, allowing the audience to instinctively judge sincerity.

And as we begin our... In our study this morning, I want you to imagine with me that you're an unseen guest, the proverbial fly on the wall, with a family of five who are on a one-week camping trip.

6:02 - 6:20 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin introduces a hypothetical camping trip scenario involving a family. The first scene depicts John repeatedly dunking his sister Mary, apologizing insincerely, and invoking…

John repeatedly dunks his sister Mary, apologizes insincerely, and cites Luke 17, illustrating false repentance and the audience's natural inclination to withhold forgiveness.

Now I want you to consider with me, as they have set up their tent and taken out all the accoutrements that make for a successful camping week together. Two distinct series of interactions. You're the fly on the tent flap as you behold these two distinct series of interactions. The first is between John, age ten, and his eight-year-old sister, Mary.

7:27 - 7:57 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: The second scene from the camping trip illustrates Jack, a Christian father with a besetting sin of temper, who repeatedly loses his temper but expresses deep, sincere remorse and…

Jack, a father with a short temper, repeatedly sins with sharp words but expresses deep, sincere remorse, illustrating genuine repentance and the audience's natural inclination to grant forgiveness.

Now, scene number two, you're to fly on the tent flap. Here's a scene. Here's a scene that unfolds between Jack and Susan. Susan was reared in a very stable, wise, godly Christian home.

11:43 - 12:00 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: The second scene from the camping trip illustrates Jack, a Christian father with a besetting sin of temper, who repeatedly loses his temper but expresses deep, sincere remorse and…

The heavy rain during the camping trip is compared to God squeezing a sponge, setting the scene for frustration that triggers Jack's temper.

And lo and behold, after two days of beautiful weather, the skies opened up and became like a sponge, like we had a few weeks ago, when it just seemed like God had a sponge over this area and just kept squeezing and squeezing and squeezing. It rained day and night. Everything soaked. The tent is leaking.

13:52 - 14:14 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: The second scene from the camping trip illustrates Jack, a Christian father with a besetting sin of temper, who repeatedly loses his temper but expresses deep, sincere remorse and…

Jack's immediate regret after speaking sharply is compared to David's heart smiting him after cutting Saul's garment, emphasizing the genuineness of his remorse.

And that triggers Jack. And he shoots out some sharp words. What, can't you know how to even cut the bacon? But no sooner are the sharp words out of his mouth than, like David, when he cut the hem of Saul's garment, it said his heart smote him.

14:59 - 15:16 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: The second explicit scriptural basis is Luke 17:3-4, where the command 'if he repent, forgive him' is analyzed, underscoring that forgiveness is conditional upon genuine…

Johnny's apologies are described as 'hot air' because his demeanor and actions contradict his words, demonstrating that repentance involves more than mere verbal expressions.

I want to catch you at your gut before I enlighten your head. It's one thing for people to be fighting at the head where this is not important. I want to involve you right down here in the deepest levels of your emotional and psychological constitution and then demonstrate that that's right and lines up with the Bible. You felt no with all the words and all the tears and all the earnestness that Johnny's saying to Mary.

37:50 - 38:19 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: The second explicit scriptural basis is Luke 17:3-4, where the command 'if he repent, forgive him' is analyzed, underscoring that forgiveness is conditional upon genuine…

A father punishing Johnny by making him sit on a stump while Mary plays in the lake is used to illustrate effective discipline for insincere repentance.

He haunts him out of that lake and sits him on a stump and says, sit there for three hours. God give us pappies like that.

38:29 - 38:35 Read in full sermon

Driving home: But this is not the Scripture use of the word forgive. And in the full sense of the term, it is not our duty, follow now, and not even proper to forgive one who has wronged us until he confesses the wrong and this with s…

A quote from Broadus's commentary on Matthew 6 is used to validate the position that forgiveness is not proper until the wrongdoer confesses with unquestioned sincerity.

I read from the commentary in the Gospel of Matthew by Broadus, a recognized, trusted guide, commenting on Matthew 6, if forgive means merely to bear no malice, to abstain from revenge, leaving that to God, then in that sense we ought to forgive every wrongdoer even though impenitent and still our enemy. But this is not the Scripture use of the word forgive. And in the full sense of the term, it is not our duty, follow now, and not even proper to forgive one who has wronged us until he confesses the wrong and this with such unquestioned sincerity and genuine change of feeling and purpose as to...

40:57 - 41:56 Read in full sermon

Driving home: But this is not the Scripture use of the word forgive. And in the full sense of the term, it is not our duty, follow now, and not even proper to forgive one who has wronged us until he confesses the wrong and this with s…

A quote from William Taylor's commentary on the parable of the unmerciful servant is used to support the idea that forgiveness can only be exercised where wrong is acknowledged and repented of.

In judging as to the sincerity and trustworthiness of those who profess repentance, our Lord inculcates great patience and charitable judgment. And then listen to William Taylor, godly, greatly useful man of another century, in his commentary on the parable of the unmerciful, servant that I preached on last week. That which is forgiven is a trespass. And while there's to be in our hearts the disposition to forgive it, we must seek to bring our brother to the admission that it was a trespass and to the expression of his sorrow for its commission.

42:40 - 43:23 Read in full sermon

Driving home: But this is not the Scripture use of the word forgive. And in the full sense of the term, it is not our duty, follow now, and not even proper to forgive one who has wronged us until he confesses the wrong and this with s…

The analogy of an innocent prisoner refusing a pardon because it implies guilt is used to explain that accepting forgiveness requires acknowledging one's wrong.

Forgiveness can be exercised only where the wrong is acknowledged and repented of. The noble-minded prisoner who had done no wrong would not accept a pardon because that would have been an admission of his guilt. You see what he's saying? Here's a man innocent in prison.

43:24 - 43:41 Read in full sermon

The point: Apply the Golden Rule (Matthew 7:12) when assessing another's repentance: treat them as you would want to be treated when you are sincerely repentant.

The metaphor of 'spiritual alchemy' is used to describe combining three biblical truths into a 'potent potion' to prevent the abuse of the right to assess repentance.

Well, let me give you a concoction of three verses that'll keep you cured of the abuse of this truth. We're going to do a little spiritual alchemy, all right?

57:30 - 57:40 Read in full sermon

The point: Parents, cry to God for discernment to recognize true brokenness in your children's repentance, avoiding both discouraging them and allowing them to manipulate you.

Children are described as 'histrionics' or 'devious little actors and actresses' who can 'con' their parents, illustrating the need for discernment in assessing their repentance.

Parents, don't be conned by your clever children who are little histrionics. You know what histrionic is? Of and pertaining to the stage. Some of you have children that could make it in Hollywood.

65:31 - 65:44 Read in full sermon

The point: Parents, cry to God for discernment to recognize true brokenness in your children's repentance, avoiding both discouraging them and allowing them to manipulate you.

Shirley Temple's acting ability is used as an example of how well some children can feign emotions, highlighting the challenge for parents in discerning true repentance.

When you watch a Shirley Temple movie, I just sit there and I'm absolutely blown away that that little girl could act as well as she did. But then you see some kids, very young, oh, they know how to put on all the...

66:00 - 66:12 Read in full sermon