Avoiding Coldness & Distance

The point: Pray for the effectual work of the Holy Spirit to make the evangelistic word fruitful in many homes.

Martin uses the analogy of sowing seed to describe the morning's evangelistic broadcast, praying that God would make the word effectual and bring forth fruit in awakened souls.

How many of you were listening to some or all of the broadcast this morning on the way? Well, a goodly number of you. And you know that the thrust was very pointedly and basically evangelistic, and I think it would be well for us as we pray, believing that the Spirit alone can make the word effectual, that as that word goes into many homes, God will own it with power, and that we may see the fruit of God's blessing upon the word, even in awakened souls coming and taking their place among us, hungry for more of the bread of life. So let us pray for that seed that has been sown,

0:19 - 1:01 Read in full sermon

The point: Be concerned about creating a spiritual, emotional, and physical climate in the home that is conducive to the positive, wholesome development of children.

He uses the metaphor of 'spiritual radar' and 'suspended particles of asbestos' to describe the invisible but noxious influences that comprise the spiritual, emotional, and physical climate of the home, which children breathe in.

That this is a very real part of what it is to nurture our children, is to see to it that under God we create both the spiritual, emotional, and physical climate of the home. A climate in the home which is conducive to the nurturing, to the positive, wholesome development of the totality of our children. And we then began to take up last week and sought to identify some of what I call the spiritual radar that can be in the atmosphere of the home, some of the invisible but noxious things.

10:15 - 10:56 Read in full sermon

The point: Avoid a sustained pattern of hypocrisy in the home, as opposed to sincerity and reality.

Martin illustrates parental hypocrisy by contrasting severe punishment for a child smelling of cigarettes (straining at a gnat) with tolerating a child's persistent pouty, defiant lip (swallowing a camel of blatant rebellion).

And when they see a preoccupation with externals while tolerating gross internal vices, verses 25 and 26. If one came home with the smell of cigarettes upon his breath, he'd be grounded for three months and thoroughly spanked and sent up to his room, and yet they allow the brother or sister to go around with a pouty lip day after day, petulant, pouty, and defiant, and there's never a spanking.

13:55 - 14:20 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin introduces the second 'radon and asbestos-filled climate' in the home: coldness, distance, tension, and ill-will, contrasting it with warmth, closeness, harmony, and…

He extends the metaphor of 'radon, asbestos-filled climate' to describe a home characterized by coldness, distance, tension, and ill-will, emphasizing its invisible but harmful nature.

Now we come to our new material. The second is the first thing that creates this climate that is abusive to our children. Now we want to come to the second thing that contributes to such a radon, asbestos-filled climate spiritually in our homes. And I'm describing it this way.

15:10 - 15:38 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: He turns to Proverbs 15:17-18 and 17:1 to illustrate that a home with love and quietness, even with meager provisions, is far superior to one with lavish feasting but marked by…

Martin vividly illustrates Proverbs 15:17-18 with two contrasting family dinner scenes: one with simple herbs but overflowing with love and warmth, and another with a lavish ox meal but filled with coldness and hatred between parents, showing children prefer love over luxury.

Proverbs 15. Verses 17 and 18. Better is a dinner of herbs. Some of us still say herbs without pronouncing the H.

27:10 - 27:25 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: He turns to Proverbs 15:17-18 and 17:1 to illustrate that a home with love and quietness, even with meager provisions, is far superior to one with lavish feasting but marked by…

He illustrates Proverbs 17:1 with a story of a child choosing a dry morsel of bread with peace and parental love over a ten-course feast filled with unspoken or spoken strife between parents, emphasizing the value of quietness and harmony.

He goes from herbs to nothing but a stale piece of Italian bread. Better is a dry morsel.

31:18 - 31:27 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin expounds Proverbs 17:9, using an illustration of a wife's tardiness, to show how a husband's choice to cover a transgression rather than 'harp on the matter' fosters a…

Martin tells a story of a wife getting caught up on the phone, causing dinner to be late, and then describes how the husband can either 'cover that transgression' with love or 'harp on the matter,' leading to strife, illustrating Proverbs 17:9.

He that covers a transgression seeks love. Here the wife failed to get the meal on the table on time. And she did so because she just let herself get caught up in the phone too long. Along with one of her friends.

34:21 - 34:35 Read in full sermon

The point: Commit to a home climate of warmth, closeness, harmony, and goodwill by covering transgressions and fostering a forgiving spirit.

He uses the graphic metaphor of grown adults 'coughing up and spewing out of their spiritual lungs the horrible, horrible phlegm created by the radon of their homes asbestos of their homes' to convey the long-term, devastating effects of a noxious home climate.

And if you had to sit for the hours that some of us have done while grown adults cough up and spew out of their spiritual lungs the horrible, horrible flam created by the radon of their homes asbestos of their homes you'd know why I've gone home. From teaching to preaching this morning I had no intention to. You see, that's a gross illustration. I don't care if you regard it gross.

38:04 - 38:35 Read in full sermon

The point: Avoid the beginning of strife as much as punching a hole in a dam, recognizing its destructive power on the household.

Martin compares the beginning of strife to punching a one-inch hole in a dam, warning that it will inevitably lead to a gaping hole and a deluge that sweeps away all religious instruction, illustrating Proverbs 17:14.

The precise imagery is not clear there but one thing is clear whether it's a dam that gets a break in it and the water starts to come through and you can't stop it whether it has reference to bodily functions other references commentators differ one thing is clear once water begins to be let out it's hard to stop it therefore leave off contention before there is quarreling and what causes us to leave off contention if we are committed as the heads of the home the husband is the administrated head his wife at his side sharing in that overall perspective of the administration

39:10 - 39:54 Read in full sermon

The point: Avoid the beginning of strife as much as punching a hole in a dam, recognizing its destructive power on the household.

He shares a personal anecdote from Pakistan about houses with rooftop sleeping areas to illustrate Proverbs 21:9, emphasizing that a small, peaceful space is better than a large house filled with contention.

of the broken dam of a household in which there are not these qualities of warmth of warmth of warmth and love and goodwill and forgiveness and then look at Proverbs 21 in verse 9 and I can appreciate this after being in Pakistan it's one thing to say to read and to find in one's books and to read in the Bible that the houses in the Middle East sometimes would have a stairway going up from the outside or just a ladder and on the top might have a railing around there or a few bricks to keep someone from falling off

40:39 - 41:22 Read in full sermon

Driving home: A wife can be called child abuse if you allow a sustained climate in which there's coldness distance, tension and ill will between the two of you and you can't do anything about it between you as a husband and a wife not…

Martin recounts a story of a woman whose childhood stuttering was directly related to the tension between her bitter parents, illustrating the physiological effects of a contentious home climate (Proverbs 14:30).

a tranquil heart has physiological effects it is the life of the flesh but envy that is a spiritual state a spirit consumed with jealousy but not only with jealousy the Bible tells and we'll look at another passage such emotions as grief and other powerful emotions have a physiological effect is rottenness of the bones there's a woman very dear to me who as a child had a terrible problem with stuttering directly related to the tension

43:31 - 44:14 Read in full sermon

Driving home: A wife can be called child abuse if you allow a sustained climate in which there's coldness distance, tension and ill will between the two of you and you can't do anything about it between you as a husband and a wife not…

He describes a happy child from a poor home, lacking material possessions but filled with joy because his parents love each other, love him, and maintain harmony, illustrating Proverbs 15:13.

but the reality is that a glad heart makes a cheerful countenance and you see a little kid who comes out of a home maybe too poor to have anything but bare floors not because they like bare floors because they can't afford rugs dread bare furniture have none of no Fisher-Price toys very meager things but the kid goes around all the time like he's been frozen in the grin and you come up and rub his little head and say sonny you look happy all the time what makes you so happy he says well why wouldn't I be happy my mom and daddy love one another and they love me and they make sure if we kids ain...

46:25 - 47:10 Read in full sermon

Driving home: his spirit is broken he loses all of his natural youthful exuberance and excitement and interest and inquisitiveness his spirit is broken he's like a whipped puppy with its tail between its legs cowering in the corner an…

Martin uses the metaphor of a 'whipped puppy with its tail between its legs cowering in the corner' to describe a child whose spirit is broken by a sorrowful heart due to parental strife, connecting to Colossians 3:21.

because every time daddy comes through the door mom is jumping on him picking on him and dad is turning around and he's jumping on mom for this and for the other he never sees them engaged in spontaneous acts of self-supportedness never hears them acknowledging mutually their sins one to another never sees them spontaneously embracing in a discreet way in front of them embracing spontaneously as an expression of their love and their closeness the spirit of that little child is heavy in sorrow

49:24 - 50:05 Read in full sermon