Common Failures: w/o Reproof/Affirmations; Excessive Use

Driving home: An application of the rod to a child in which either the prefix has been cut off or the suffix has been cut off or both have been cut off. And over such use of the rod, God writes, invalid if detached.

Martin uses the analogy of a coupon stamped 'invalid if detached from booklet' to illustrate that the rod of correction is 'invalid if detached' from its biblical prefix (instruction) and suffix (affirmation of love).

A prefix in the construction of words is that which goes before the body of the word. A prefix, a suffix, is that which comes after the heart or the root or the body of the word and is placed at the end. And trying to simplify this in a way that will help you to conceptualize it and to have it ready, and to have it at hand in the administration of the use of the rod, I felt the prefix suffix imagery taken from the construction of words might be most helpful. And over the biblical doctrine of the rod with its prefix and its suffix is written words, invalid if detached.

7:06 - 7:49 Read in full sermon

The point: Under ordinary circumstances, seek to bring the word of God upon that session with the rod, convincing the child that the rod is deserved.

He contrasts the use of a rod on stubborn donkeys or cows with its use on rational, image-bearing children, emphasizing that biblical discipline is not merely about behavior modification but engaging a child's mental and moral faculties.

It is the rod, coupled with reproof, that imparts wisdom. Not the rod detached from reproof, not reproof detached from the rod. And furthermore, as we saw in our word study of the Greek word, Paideia, and the verb Paiduo, the very concept of training or teaching or instruction and the parallel word in the Hebrew, brings together the concept of the rod and instruction indicating that the biblical doctrine of the rod is not a doctrine that could with equal efficiency be applied to brute beasts. We are not using the rod upon the back of stubborn donkeys, nor upon dumb cows who may need a switch i...

9:26 - 10:53 Read in full sermon

The point: Under ordinary circumstances, seek to bring the word of God upon that session with the rod, convincing the child that the rod is deserved.

Martin recounts how his previous comments on music in worship were misinterpreted, using it as an example to urge careful listening and interpretation of his words regarding the rod.

Mr. Hushon said, Amen, in his heart, and he said he would have belled out an amen audibly, had it been appropriate. I was not knocking the use of accompaniment in the praise of God. I was not giving a general condemnation of the use of an organ.

12:09 - 12:24 Read in full sermon

The point: Elicit from the child the fact that you must obey God in the use of the rod.

He uses the analogy of a policeman needing a warrant for arrest to argue that parents need a 'warrant from God' (biblical justification) to apply the rod, not just arbitrary personal authority.

He says, the propriety of always preceding or accompanying chastisement with convincing the offender of his fault. Show him seriously and affectionately why you chastise him. If you feel yourself at a loss to do this, you may be very sure you are doing wrong. Correction must never either be or appear to be a mere arbitrary display of personal authority. You must come with a warrant from God in your pocket when you go into the room with the rod. Just because the policeman shows up at my house, I don't let him put the cuffs on me. I say, show me the warrant for my arrest. The blue suit doesn't g...

16:24 - 17:22 Read in full sermon

The point: Stop using the rod excessively for all deviations when a rebuke, raised eyebrow, or pointed finger would suffice.

Martin asks if Jesus, as a child, ever spilled milk or broke a clay vessel, arguing that such actions are ordinary human frailty, not sin, and should not warrant the rod.

A child is a child. And part of a child maturing in the totality of his God-given humanity is that eye-to-hand coordination is not in a child, particularly in a teenager, what it will be in a fully matured, average, normal adult. I want to ask you a very simple question. Do any of you believe that Jesus could have been reared in the large family in a small peasant home and never spilled his milk at the dinner table?

34:46 - 35:16 Read in full sermon

The point: Do not spank a child for poor coordination or ordinary human frailty that is not rebellion.

Martin shares a personal story of frequently spilling milk during his teenage years due to awkward coordination, and his father's wise decision not to spank him for it, illustrating that not all 'faults' are rod-worthy offenses.

And some of you have heard me say quite frequently, it was a famous saying in my home from my father, the only time I heard my proper name, I was sunny till I was 22, except, except when I spilled water or milk. And I did it in those teen years when my appendages outgrew everything else in the space of about two years. And I went from age 11 or 12 to age 15, came to my mature height, to just under six feet. And I've stayed just at about six feet for the rest of my life, probably in the shrinking stage now.

36:08 - 36:42 Read in full sermon

The point: Do not spank a child for poor coordination or ordinary human frailty that is not rebellion.

He humorously recounts an elder spilling apple juice on his rug, using it to illustrate that even adults have coordination issues, and such incidents are not grounds for punishment.

And you see, it's an excessive use of the rod when you spank a child for poor coordination. If that's a warrant for spanking, one of your elders should have had his behind warmed Thursday night. He spilled apple juice all over the new rug in my family room. But because he's the oldest elder, I said, it's the beginning of old age deterioration of eye-to-hand coordination.

37:35 - 38:14 Read in full sermon

The point: Do not spank a child for poor coordination or ordinary human frailty that is not rebellion.

Quoting Bridges, Martin uses the metaphor of the rod as 'medicine, not food' to explain that it should be reserved for occasional diseases (willfulness), not used as a daily regimen, lest it lose its remedial qualities.

Let remonstrance be first tried, that is, verbal reproof and admonition. Our Heavenly Father never stirs the rod with His children if His gentle voice of instruction prevails. Continual finding fault, applying correction to every slip of childish trifling or troublesome thoughtlessness, would soon bring a callous deadness to all sense of shame. Let it be reserved, at least in its more serious forms, for willfulness.

39:22 - 39:56 Read in full sermon

The point: Do not discipline a child for actions done in ignorance if they have not been instructed.

Wardlaw's illustration of a child innocently burning a $20 bill, mistaking it for ordinary paper, demonstrates that discipline is wrong when evil is done in ignorance, not rebellion.

And then he gives a beautiful illustration. He says, A little kid, he sees what to him is just a piece of paper that'll make the fire in the fireplace glow. So he crumples it up and throws it in. And later on, the mother comes in and says, Where's the $20 bill that I laid on the coffee table?

41:52 - 42:11 Read in full sermon

The point: Once the child comes to repentance, submission, and a resolution not to repeat the fault, stop the spanking; do not give more strokes than necessary.

Martin shares a personal anecdote about his parents' practice of spanking him and his siblings in the bathroom, highlighting their wisdom in not embarrassing them publicly and in discerning between genuine repentance and bluffing cries.

Thank God they had that and had the Holy Ghost. And they didn't embarrass us by spanking us in front of the other kids. And the only private place was the bathroom. We were like the old woman in the shoe.

46:00 - 46:10 Read in full sermon