The Righteous Use of the Tongue #1

The point: Seek to inculcate in your children the goal that when they open their mouths, it will be like the opening of a pure crystal fountain of life.

The mouth of the righteous is compared to a pure crystal fountain, whose waters are drawn from the earth's depths, purified, and nourishing, illustrating the goal for children's speech to be life-giving and refreshing.

The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but violence covers the mouth of the wicked. The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life. What beautiful imagery that we should seek to inculcate in our children this goal that when they open their mouths, it will be like the opening of a pure crystal fountain whose waters are drawn up from the depths of the earth, passing over many strata of rock until all impurities are taken out of it, and it's the purest kind of water, the most nourishing, refreshing water available. He says that the mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life. In oth...

21:53 - 23:04 Read in full sermon

The point: Teach your children restraint and to be swift to hear, slow to speak, especially if they are naturally loquacious.

The common idiom 'sticks his foot in his mouth' is used to describe the foolish person's destructive speech, emphasizing that their words cause self-destruction.

Wise people are always garnering, but the mouth of the foolish is present destruction. In other words, fools are always running off at the mouth, while wise people are continually storing up in the heart. Now we need to teach our children, especially if they're more naturally loquacious and outgoing and ready to give their opinion on anything and everything, at any time and in any set of circumstances. We need to teach them restraint and tell them to be swift to hear, slow to speak, because wise men lay up knowledge.

24:01 - 24:40 Read in full sermon

The point: Teach your children that the way to avoid sin is to learn restraint upon their tongues.

Martin uses his own experience of having to confess more public sin than others due to his role as a preacher to illustrate that 'in the multitude of words there wanteth not transgression'.

You are failing in a fundamental element of their character development in the multitude of words there wanteth not transgression. As I've had to say on more than one occasion in this place and in other places in pastors conferences, no one has had to confess over the 25 years of Trinity Baptist Church's existence more sin publicly than I have. Why? Because I've had the responsibility of speaking more words publicly than anyone else.

26:30 - 27:03 Read in full sermon

The point: Teach your children true godly material value by showing them that a tongue controlled by righteous principles is like a treasure chest of choice silver.

The tongue of the righteous is likened to choice silver, a precious metal that does not fluctuate in worth, to teach children the true, godly material value of righteous speech.

The tongue of the righteous is as choice silver. You want to teach your children true godly material value? You say, hey, you want to lay up a lot of choice silver? Precious metals will not fluctuate in worth as worthless paper money. You want to have substantial hard currency? This is how you do it. You learn what it is to have a tongue that is controlled by the righteous principles of the word of God and in God's eyes. That will be like a treasure chest of choice silver. And notice the contrast in the Hebrew parallelism and contrast Hebrew poetry. The heart of the wicked is little worth. You...

27:49 - 28:51 Read in full sermon

The point: Teach your children that they are under no obligation to promise anyone to keep anything a secret, to avoid leaving them morally vulnerable.

The saying 'a secret is safe among two people other than the person who shared it, only if one of those two is dead' is used to highlight the native tendency of children (and people) to be talebearers.

But that same city is overthrown by the mouth. Of the wicked. All of the influence of the manifold acts of righteous deeds of the righteous that brought the city to a place of general blessing and harmony. It's all overthrown by a wicked mouth. It's overthrown by the mouth of the wicked. Verse 13. He that goes about as a tale bearer reveals secrets. But he that is of a faithful matter, he that is of a faithful spirit, conceals a matter. Oh, dear parents, how you need to teach your children this truth. They are not only natively liars, they're natively tale bearers that reveal secrets. As someo...

33:06 - 34:06 Read in full sermon

The point: Teach your children that they are under no obligation to promise anyone to keep anything a secret, to avoid leaving them morally vulnerable.

Martin shares his personal policy in counseling of not giving a blanket promise of total secrecy, explaining that some information may warrant disclosure to civil authorities or a spouse, illustrating the limits of confidentiality and the need to teach children not to make such promises.

Otherwise, you'll leave them morally vulnerable. As we heard in the sermons on child abuse, the great technique of fathers who abuse their daughters sexually, of pedophiles who abuse children, of incestuous relationships within families, of mothers who seduce their sons. And that happens as well. The great weapon is, don't you dare tell anyone. This is our secret. No, no. You are under no obligation to give to anyone a blanket promise of secrecy. People sometimes in counseling sessions will say, now, Pastor Martin, will you promise me if I tell you what I'm about to tell you, you won't tell a ...

34:25 - 35:14 Read in full sermon

The point: Teach your children that if they allow their lips to go unguarded and undisciplined, it will lead to their destruction.

The transgression of the lips is compared to a snare that traps an innocent beast, leading to its destruction, to illustrate how unguarded words can lead to an evil man's downfall.

Chapter 12, 13 and 14. In the transgression of the lips is a snare to the evil man, but the righteous shall come out of trouble. Here's the picture that the sins of the lips become to an evil man what a snare is to an innocent beast. That particular beast is gambling along through the forest or through his territory thinking he's just out for his daily constitutional and all of a sudden he hits the track stick and the snare gets him around the feet. He's upside down and in a short matter of time he's someone's evening meal. That's the picture. The transgression of the lips is a snare to the ev...

36:58 - 38:05 Read in full sermon

The point: Sit down with your kids and use the imagery of a sword piercing vitals to explain how their tongue can wound others, including siblings, spouses, and children.

Rash words are vividly compared to a sword piercing the vitals, causing deadly internal wounds with little outward bleeding, to emphasize the deep, lasting harm that harsh speech inflicts, even if not visibly apparent.

Now you see the graphic imagery? When a sword pierces, it may not make a large outward wound, but it makes deadly internal wounds. People have died by sword wounds with very little blood showing on the outside.

39:23 - 39:42 Read in full sermon

The point: Ensure that if reproof, rebuke, or exhortation must be given, it is done with the love and care of spiritual surgery, not rashly.

The wise tongue is contrasted with the rash sword, being likened to the deft hand of a surgeon who removes cancers with care, resulting in health without internal bleeding, to illustrate that reproof, when done in love, brings healing.

Some of you ought to be home on your knees with your own spouses and children this day, begging them to forgive you for your sword wounds because you spoke rashly like the piercing of a sword. Whereas the tongue of the wise is health. If there has to be cutting, it's not rash piercing. It's the deft hand of the surgeon, not the wild plunging of the warrior.

41:45 - 42:17 Read in full sermon

The point: Teach your children that when they speak rash words, they must pull the knife out and get it healed by saying 'I'm sorry' and seeking forgiveness.

Martin suggests a parent take a child to the kitchen knife drawer and ask if they would stick a knife in their sister's belly, to graphically illustrate that calling someone 'dummy' is like a sword wound, making the abstract concept of hurtful words concrete for a child.

I can't remember. You want mommy help, you remember? I called her dummy. But I didn't mean, I didn't. Ah, but you called her that. Yes. What does God say? God says when you called her dummy, that was like taking a knife and sticking it in your tummy. Would you take a knife right now? And you may need to walk over to the place where you keep your knives. And say, honey, would you take a knife and stick it in sister's belly? No, mommy, I... God says, that's what you did. Take her to this text and say, that's what you did! Now you gotta pull the knife out and get it healed. You must say to sister...

44:17 - 45:03 Read in full sermon

The point: Teach your children that there is no such thing as innocent lying, to prevent them from engaging in deceptive business practices later in life.

The scenario of selling a car and only telling part of the truth is used to illustrate 'innocent lying' in business, showing how adults can rationalize dishonesty and the need to teach children against such practices.

We misrepresent the God in whose image we've made. And that's why it's an abomination to God. And we need to teach our children there's no such thing as innocent lying, or they'll grow up and do the kind of innocent, quote, lying that some of you do in your business. Give the impression you're telling the whole truth when you know you're only telling part of the truth. When you go to sell a car, and someone says, look, I want you to shoot straight with me, and I'll shoot straight with you. What's been the track record of this car? And you tell them all the good things.

48:45 - 49:22 Read in full sermon

The point: When discussing sensitive topics like the 'facts of life,' teach your children that this knowledge is not for proclaiming abroad.

A heavy heart is pictured as a man bent over with a great burden or arthritis, illustrating the physical manifestation of emotional discouragement, which can be lifted by a 'good word'.

But if you do not get hold of this text and pass it on to your kids that the prudent man conceals knowledge, they must learn that not everything they know is to be echoed through their mouths, and you've got to teach them this. And then verse 25, heaviness in the heart of a man makes it stoop. What a picture. Here a man has a heavy heart, and that heart is bent over like a man, bent over with a great burden or bent over with arthritis.

52:04 - 52:34 Read in full sermon

The point: Train your children how to develop the art of speaking a good word that will raise up a stooped heart, encouraging them to do this with family members.

A wife encouraging her child to speak words of appreciation to a discouraged father is used as a concrete example of training children in the 'holy art of encouragement' and how a good word can make a stooped heart stand upright.

Have you taken your daughter aside and said to her, or your son, Daddy's kind of down in the dumps. Things haven't been going well at work. Why don't you go in and say to Daddy how much you appreciate him working so hard so you can have clothes on your back, food in your tummy, and a roof over your head. You go in and tell him.

53:24 - 53:46 Read in full sermon