Husbands and Wives Before God #2

The point: Enter the temple of revelation and bow before the divine oracle, saying, 'Lord, what wilt thou have me to do? Speak, Lord, for thy servant heareth.'

Martin quotes William Jay to set the disposition for approaching the passage: a willingness to know and practice the duty of marriage, bowing before the divine oracle.

Paul also assumes the timeless authority and changeless nature of these directives to husbands and wives. All of the contours of this relationship he takes from timeless, redemptive realities, and there are hues and colors flashing upon this section that find their origin in creation, and fall, all of which are timeless realities. So as we come this morning to take up specifically God's word to wives, may our disposition be that which William Jay wonderfully expressed in commenting on this passage. Let all who stand in the marriage relation be willing to know and practice the duty of marriage....

4:28 - 5:39 Read in full sermon

Driving home: And may I say, by way of an aside, if subordination automatically means denigration of personhood, then you've got a real problem. Without any denigration to the dignity of his person as the incarnate Son of God, losing …

The example of Jesus being subject to Mary and Joseph is used to demonstrate that subordination does not imply denigration of personhood, as Jesus was superior in every way but position.

And I give you three other usages in the New Testament in order to validate that that is indeed its proper meaning. In Luke chapter 2 and verse 51, this very familiar verse concerning one of the few incidents in the childhood of our Lord Jesus, we read in Luke chapter 2 and verse 51, and he, Jesus, went down with them, that is, Mary and Joseph, came to Nazareth and was, here's our word, hupotasso, was subject unto them. That is, he placed himself in subordination to the parental guidance and authority and directives of Mary and of Joseph. And may I say, by way of an aside, if subordination aut...

13:08 - 14:33 Read in full sermon

Driving home: And may I say, by way of an aside, if subordination automatically means denigration of personhood, then you've got a real problem. Without any denigration to the dignity of his person as the incarnate Son of God, losing …

The disciples' report that 'even the demons are subject unto us' is used to illustrate that 'subject' means to range oneself in subordination and obey.

The 70 have gone out in obedience to their Lord, preaching, casting out demons, raising the dead, and they come back full of joy. And verse 17 of Luke 10 says, And the 70 returned with joy, saying, Lord, even the demons are here. There is our word subject unto us in thy name. When we pronounce over the demons your name, they range themselves in subordination to us.

15:37 - 16:09 Read in full sermon

Driving home: And may I say, by way of an aside, if subordination automatically means denigration of personhood, then you've got a real problem. Without any denigration to the dignity of his person as the incarnate Son of God, losing …

The carnal mind's enmity against God and its inability to be subject to God's law is used to further illustrate the meaning of 'subject' as ranging oneself in subordination.

They obey us. They do what we tell them. And then again in a totally different setting but nonetheless beautifully illustrating the meaning of the word, Romans 8 and verse 7. With respect to the prevailing disposition of the unregenerate man or woman, here called the carnal mind or the mind of the flesh, it is said in verse 7, because the mind of the flesh is enmity against God, for it is not, here is our word, subject to God, neither indeed can it be.

16:29 - 17:08 Read in full sermon

The point: Husbands, if your wife is not submissive, you cannot force her. You must wrestle with God in prayer for her heart to change, either through conversion or by dealing with arrested growth.

Martin uses the analogy that a husband cannot force his wife to be submissive; she can only 'bite the bullet' or 'tolerate' it, highlighting that true submission is voluntary.

There's not a person here who's a Christian who is not conscious that you voluntarily submitted to Christ. And so we are told, if the wife's submission is to be as the church is subject to Christ, it is voluntary self-subjection, not involuntary subjugation by force. As many a husband has found out, you cannot force your wife to be submissive to you. You can't do it.

21:39 - 22:13 Read in full sermon

The point: Wives, if you love Christ, keep His commandments, including being submissive to your husband, knowing that He knew all about your husband's quirks and unreasonableness when He gave the command.

The way Christ deals with a believer's arrested spiritual growth—lovingly and patiently, not by battering—is used as an analogy for how husbands should deal with their wives' spiritual struggles.

And you men must learn to wrestle with God, that God will deal with that area of arrested growth and then come from your knees wisely to nourish and cherish your wife the same way Christ does with you. When there's arrested growth in your walk before Him, He does not simply pull you out and bring His way in and batter you, but He lovingly and wisely and patiently deals with you until the point of arrested growth is addressed and you're back in the way of wholesome spiritual life. And only when you've stiff-armed Him and been stiff-necked and He must begin to bring His rod upon you does God rou...

25:02 - 26:11 Read in full sermon

Driving home: The tendency to follow was embedded in Eve's very soul as she came forth from the hand of her Creator.

The metaphor of a filly with a bit in her mouth and reins is used to illustrate that the disposition to follow was embedded in Eve's soul, and sin makes her 'spit the bit' or 'buck' against her husband's direction.

A feisty little filly that just threw back her head and whinnied at the first suggestion that she existed to be Adam's helper? No. God made a creature in whose soul was embedded the disposition to follow. To keep up the imagery of the filly, one who the first time she felt the bit in her mouth and the reins of Adam's will upon her neck, she said, this is right and I'm comfortable with it.

38:34 - 39:08 Read in full sermon

Driving home: The tendency to follow was embedded in Eve's very soul as she came forth from the hand of her Creator.

The analogy of a horse being neck-reined versus mouth-reined is used to explain how a wise husband can gently direct his wife, but also has the authority to 'pull hard enough to draw blood' if necessary, to ensure obedience.

Don't go out and say, Pastor Martin said women like a man that belts them in the mouth and draws blood. No, I'm using the whole imagery. You know enough, maybe I'm assuming too much. Do you understand the difference between neck reined and mouth reined?

40:19 - 40:34 Read in full sermon

Driving home: If there were no other passage in the Bible that should forever stand as an impregnable sentinel against the whole concept of egalitarian marriage, that is, a marriage in which there is no assigned headship and subordina…

The analogy of a car hitting a three-foot reinforced concrete wall is used to convey the unyielding reality of God's Word regarding subordination, implying that resistance leads to destruction.

But whether that's so or not, and even in spite of the softening and the enhancing of that rule with redemptive grace and dynamics, the text still stands that as part of the punitive decree of God because of the woman's sin, thy husband, he, shall rule over thee. And I don't believe that's cancelled by redemption because when Paul is proving women's subordination in the church in 1 Timothy 2, he alludes to the woman's peculiar place in the fall. Does he not? She was utterly deceived and was the first in transgression. This is why she shall not teach nor usurp authority over the man. And though...

44:44 - 45:52 Read in full sermon

Driving home: If there were no other passage in the Bible that should forever stand as an impregnable sentinel against the whole concept of egalitarian marriage, that is, a marriage in which there is no assigned headship and subordina…

Martin recounts Betty Elliot's challenge to evangelical feminists to rewrite Ephesians 5:22-33 with the wife as head and Christ subject to the church, to expose the blasphemous implications of egalitarian marriage.

Wives, be in subjection to your own husbands as unto the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, being himself the savior of the body. He is head and savior. But as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything. If there were no other passage in the Bible that should forever stand as an impregnable sentinel against the whole concept of egalitarian marriage, that is, a marriage in which there is no assigned headship and subordination, no leader, no follower, no fixed spheres of authority, they're all up for g...

47:08 - 48:31 Read in full sermon

The point: Wives, obey your husband in everything, but do not obey him in anything in which he goes beyond the law of God.

An anecdote about a man who claims to make all the 'big' international decisions while his wife makes the 'little' household decisions (car, home, money) is used to illustrate how wives can subtly rule the roost despite verbal claims of male headship.

The extent of the submission, then, of a wife is to mirror that in everything. That is, not just in the departments you deem your husband can do it better and think better, but in the totality of your relationship. Now, it was said tongue-in-cheek, but I'm afraid it's true in many marriages. The man said, I've got no problem with that.

51:52 - 52:18 Read in full sermon

The point: Wives, you chose your husband, so now God says you have no choice but to reverence him, regardless of whether he is worthy.

The life of Abigail is commended as an example for godly women who want to reverence their husbands, even when those husbands are foolish or unworthy, demonstrating tactful ways to navigate their folly.

And for you who've chosen such a person, may I commend to you a careful, prayerful study of the life of Abigail. I believe, among other things, God put Abigail in the Bible to help godly women who want to be subject to their husbands and reverence them, though they are navels. As is his name, so he is. He's a fool.

56:40 - 57:03 Read in full sermon

The point: Wives, to be subject to your husbands according to this pattern, you will need the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and to be filled with the Spirit.

Martin quotes Lutheran commentator Lenski on the ideal state of marriage in innocence, its disturbance by sin, and Christianity's restoration of the divine order, highlighting the dangers of antinomian views and the timelessness of Paul's directives.

You're going to need more than what you've picked up in looking at the lives of godly women around you. You're going to need the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. I close with this beautiful little commentary from Lenski, the Lutheran commentator. In the state of innocence, the husband was the head and the wife subjected herself to him as the head.

61:46 - 62:10 Read in full sermon