Husbands and Wives Before God #2

Introduction and Review of Presuppositions

0:01 The following message was delivered at the 1992 New England Reformed Baptist Family Conference. Now may I urge you to turn with me in the Word of God to Ephesians chapter 5, again this morning, Ephesians chapter 5. I shall read in your hearing those words explicitly directed to wives found in verse 22 and verse 23 and 4 and then dropping down to verse 33.

0:44 Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife. As Christ also is the head of the church, being himself the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything.

1:16 Verse 33, Nevertheless do ye also severally love each one his own wife, even as himself. And let not the wife be to her husband. Verse 33, Nevertheless do ye also severally love each one his own wife, even as himself. And let not the wife be to her husband.

1:57 This is the context of Ephesians 5, 22 through 33. Then we move to examine the broader and related setting of this same passage, seeking to demonstrate that it has organic unity with the entirety of biblical revelation. And then we concluded by highlighting what I call the undergirding presuppositions of the passage, namely, that Paul assumes that his readers are truly in Christ. And assuming that, he believes that the dynamics of saving grace are at work in them, that the motives of saving grace will be effectual upon them, and that they had a knowledge of basic Christian truth resident in them. And then the second presupposition that we saw was that Paul assumes that no amount of diversity or difficulty of background, circumstances, or personality

3:11 can be used as an excuse for sustained inability to conform to these directives. Paul was fully knowledgeable of all of the so-called directives, and he was fully knowledgeable of all of the so-called directives, and he was fully knowledgeable of all of the so-called directives, and he was fully knowledgeable of all of the so-called dysfunctional elements that the members of the Ephesian church would have brought into their marriages. Nonetheless, he sets this noble standard before them, he pries them to them with gospel motives, and he assumes that the dynamics of grace can make them triumph over their past, over their negative examples, over their bad examples, and he does not excuse in one iota this kind of paralysis that comes by a carnal retreat into my, quote, terrible past. And then there was a third presupposition that struck me in reviewing and praying over this material. I don't know how I missed not articulating it. I should have. It was implicit, but I want to make it explicit as I complete the review.

4:28 Paul also assumes the timeless authority and changeless nature of these directives to husbands and wives. All of the contours of this relationship he takes from timeless, redemptive realities, and there are hues and colors flashing upon this section that find their origin in creation, and fall, all of which are timeless realities. So as we come this morning to take up specifically God's word to wives, may our disposition be that which William Jay wonderfully expressed in commenting on this passage. Let all who stand in the marriage relation be willing to know and practice the duty of marriage. Let all who stand in the marriage relation be willing to know and practice the duty of marriage. Enter, my brothers and sisters, the temple of revelation, and bow before the divine oracle.

5:39 Say, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do? Speak, Lord, for thy servant heareth. Extract from scripture the mind of God concerning yourself individually. Take home the words I've been explaining.

The Fundamental Duty of Wives: Submission Identified

5:58 Do not. Ye husbands, take away the duties of the wife, nor ye wives the duties of the husband, but both of you respectively take home your own, and say, O that my feet were directed to keep thy statutes, I have chosen the way of thy truth, thy judgments I have laid before me. Hopefully then, with the disposition of young men, and Samuel filling our hearts, we come this morning to consider wives before God, or, if you wish, the divine pattern for Christian wives. And as we address the subject, we shall do so under three heads. First, the fundamental duty of wives towards their husbands identified. Second, the fundamental duty of wives to themselves. Their husbands identified.

7:02 Secondly, the qualifying elements of this duty of wives towards their husbands amplified. And then thirdly, some concluding observations and exhortations relative to the duties of wives to their husbands. So we have the fundamental duty, the qualifying elements, and the concluding observations. Well, first then, and perhaps the easiest part of our task, the fundamental duty of wives towards their husbands identified.

7:44 And the identity is to be found in this key word, be in subjection to. As we saw in introducing the subject yesterday, verse 21 is a participle, concluding the section, dealing with what it means to be filled with the Spirit or what the Spirit-filled life will look like in its expression. And the final expression is subjecting or submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ. Wives, and then if you have a good translation, the words be in subjection will be in italics, to inform you, if you have no access to the original, that there is no such verbal construction in the original. It is assumed as a carryover from verse 21, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ. Wives, submitting yourselves to your own husbands as unto the Lord. So the fundamental duty of wives, is identified in terms of subjecting or submitting themselves to their own husbands.

9:07 And that this is not an unwarranted assumption, that is the importation, the importing of the participle from verse 21, we see what is explicit in verse 24. But as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their own husbands in everything. Ah, but someone says the word subject or be submissive or subordinate to is still not explicitly found in this passage. Well, let us look at three parallel passages in which it is explicitly used.

9:51 First of all, in Colossians chapter 3, Colossians chapter 3, and verse 18 where I'm seeking to equip you to deal with those who through sophistry try to avoid the pressure of the word of God. Colossians 3, 18, Wives, be in subjection to your own husbands as it is fitting in the Lord. And here you have a present imperative. No question about it.

10:27 Wives, be in subjection to your own husbands. First Peter 3 and verse 1, in the context of a woman joined to an unconverted man, the apostle Peter says, In light manner, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands. And then in Titus chapter 2 and verse, 5, where the older women are to train, that is by example and by informal interaction, the word does not refer to what we would say structured formal teaching, that they may train the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sober-minded, chaste, workers at home, kind, being in subjection, to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. So in summary, we may say it is utterly impossible to be rid of this fundamental duty of wives to husbands, namely, they are to be in submission to them. And to rid that word of the wife's fundamental duty is to come under the curse,

11:55 of Revelation 22, 18 and 19. It is to take away from the words of the book, that which God himself has made plain. So we have the fundamental duty of wives to their husbands, we've identified the word which embodies that fundamental duty, and that word is to be submissive to them. But now then, we come to the $64 question.

The Meaning of Submission: Subordination

12:31 What is the meaning of the word? When God says, submitting to your husbands, wives be in submission to your husbands, what is the meaning of that word? Well, the word used in every one of the contexts that I have quoted to you, or each of the verses, means simply to be placed in support, subordination to someone or something. It means to be placed in a position of subordination to someone or something.

13:08 And I give you three other usages in the New Testament in order to validate that that is indeed its proper meaning. In Luke chapter 2 and verse 51, this very familiar verse concerning one of the few incidents in the childhood of our Lord Jesus, we read in Luke chapter 2 and verse 51, and he, Jesus, went down with them, that is, Mary and Joseph, came to Nazareth and was, here's our word, hupotasso, was subject unto them. That is, he placed himself in subordination to the parental guidance and authority and directives of Mary and of Joseph. And may I say, by way of an aside, if subordination automatically means denigration of personhood, then you've got a real problem. Without any denigration to the dignity of his person as the incarnate Son of God, losing nothing of his inheritance, his present worth and dignity as the theanthropic person, the God-man, he who was God,

14:33 nonetheless submitted himself to creatures that he had made and whom he was sustaining by his own power. Jesus was subject unto them. So you see, taking the place of subordination has nothing to do with whether or not you're smarter than your husband, whether or not you're more cultured, more educated. For Jesus was superior to Mary and Joseph in every single facet of his personhood.

15:08 But he was not superior in his position. His position was that of a son! And it would have been high-handed rebellion against the fifth commandment were he to have taken any other position in that home but one of subordination. And then Luke 10, 17 beautifully illustrates the word again in a totally different setting with totally different factors.

15:37 The 70 have gone out in obedience to their Lord, preaching, casting out demons, raising the dead, and they come back full of joy. And verse 17 of Luke 10 says, And the 70 returned with joy, saying, Lord, even the demons are here. There is our word subject unto us in thy name. When we pronounce over the demons your name, they range themselves in subordination to us.

16:09 They leave the human bodies and personalities which they had invaded, in which they had set up shop. And when in your name we exorcise them, we command them to leave, they are in subordination. Subordination to us. They are subject to us.

16:29 They obey us. They do what we tell them. And then again in a totally different setting but nonetheless beautifully illustrating the meaning of the word, Romans 8 and verse 7. With respect to the prevailing disposition of the unregenerate man or woman, here called the carnal mind or the mind of the flesh, it is said in verse 7, because the mind of the flesh is enmity against God, for it is not, here is our word, subject to God, neither indeed can it be.

17:08 It is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can it be. The carnal mind is enmity against the being of God. It does not range itself in the law of God. It does not range itself in subordination under the law of God.

17:28 Now dear people, you don't need to know a lot of Greek and you don't need to go to college for ten years to realize unless you've got a case to prove that when God says in Ephesians 5, wives be in submission to your husbands as unto the Lord, as the church is subject in subordination in subordination ranged under the authority of Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything, then every Christian wife thinking biblically must conceive of her fundamental duty. I did not say her exhausted duty. Her fundamental duty in terms of Ephesians 5, not in terms of other passages where other fundamental duties are opened up. This is not a comprehensive systematic approach to the theology of the role of a wife. It is an exposition of a passage which concentrates on certain facets of the role of a wife. And I am saying that the fundamental duty highlighted by this most pivotal passage is that she is to be in subordination to her husband.

Qualifying Elements: Nature of Submission (Voluntary, Exclusive, Religious)

18:49 She is joyfully and willingly to take the posture of being in submission to him. Now that's the identity and the meaning of the word by which the fundamental duty of the wife is set before us. Now consider secondly the qualifying elements of this duty of wives to their husbands. And in the passage there are four aspects of qualifying elements.

19:23 We have the nature of the submission, the grounds of the submission, the extent of the submission, and the climate of the submission. Isn't it kind of God to open it up and give its qualifying elements? First of all then, as we consider the qualifying elements of this duty, we have the nature of this submission. What is the nature of this submission?

19:49 Well several things are highlighted by the Apostle and the first is it is voluntary. Look at the passage. Wives, be in subjection to your own husbands as unto the Lord. As the church is subject to Christ, so it doesn't say let the husbands make their wives to be subject to them.

20:13 It says so let the wives be to their husbands in everything. The whole assumption is that a man has wooed and won since the parallel is that of Christ and His church. As Christ wins His people to submission by the conquering power of His grace, the assumption is a man has won to a place of submission that one who is his wife. The wonder of God's grace is that God comes in power to secure the voluntary submission of each one of those effectually called into possession of the redemption of His Son. How is it that the church collectively is subject to Christ? Well, when every individual member is brought in, he's brought in bowed and bent and joyfully broken before the authority of his Savior. That's how the church is subject to Christ.

21:23 Because you and I voluntarily embraced Him as our head and our sovereign. Oh yes, we did it voluntarily because God bid something in us first. I know that. But we nonetheless voluntarily submitted.

21:39 There's not a person here who's a Christian who is not conscious that you voluntarily submitted to Christ. And so we are told, if the wife's submission is to be as the church is subject to Christ, it is voluntary self-subjection, not involuntary subjugation by force. As many a husband has found out, you cannot force your wife to be submissive to you. You can't do it.

22:13 Now, if you're ruling well your own house, you can and at times you must pull right and make decisions that your wife may not want you to make. She may not be pleased when you make them and may even oppose you in the making and the administration of them. But she's not being submissive to you. She's just biting the bullet.

22:39 She's just tolerating what is. You cannot make her be submissive. And the emphasis of every one of the passages that I have read, assumes that that word that comes to the wives is a word which focuses on the nature of the submission as voluntary. So often the passage is read as though it said, husbands, force your wives into submission.

23:07 No, it says, wives, be in submission to your husbands. You older women train the younger women to be in submission to your husbands. And therefore, if sitting here this morning, you husbands have a wife whom you rightly judge to be in submission, no amount of arguing, no amount of verbal bullying, no amount of flexing your muscles will change the situation. God must change your heart.

23:38 Either by giving her converting grace or by dealing with whatever it is that is arresting the outworking of the grace that is already in her. And you've got work to do, not by pulling rank and barking orders in the living room and in the dining room and in the kitchen, but in the secret place where you bend your knees before Almighty God and say, God, you do in my wife's heart what I cannot do. And if her fundamental insubordination is the crowning manifestation that she is still possessed with a carnal mind that is not subject to the law of God, Lord, save her! And I'm convinced for many women in our day this will probably be the crowning evidence of regeneration. They will from the heart embrace the divine order of male headship and female subordination. And since we are not to be conformed to this world, in the language of Ephesians 4, 17, we're not to walk as the other Gentiles walk. There is so much bombarding the mind and the eyeballs that floats in the very air of society to move Christian women from joyfully taking their place of subordination that there can be a problem of arrested growth.

25:02 And you men must learn to wrestle with God, that God will deal with that area of arrested growth and then come from your knees wisely to nourish and cherish your wife the same way Christ does with you. When there's arrested growth in your walk before Him, He does not simply pull you out and bring His way in and batter you, but He lovingly and wisely and patiently deals with you until the point of arrested growth is addressed and you're back in the way of wholesome spiritual life. And only when you've stiff-armed Him and been stiff-necked and He must begin to bring His rod upon you does God rough you up in getting the point across. But I say to you wives, do you love Christ? Here is one of the most telling proofs. If ye love me, keep my commandments. It is I, your Lord, who purchased you with my own blood, I who offered the propitiatory sacrifice, I who prevailed before the angry lion and the swelling billows.

26:11 I call upon you, my purchased one, to be submissive to your husband. And I knew all about him when I wrote through my servant, be submissive to him. Yes, I knew all about his quirks. I knew all about his funny ways.

26:27 I knew all about his irritating ways. I knew all about his areas of unreasonableness, his areas of insensitivity, but they don't matter. I, your Lord, who purchased you, am telling you, be submissive to your husband. And you women need to recognize the truth that it is your Lord who calls you to this voluntary submission.

26:52 But then there's a second element of that submission that is a qualifying element, and it is this. It is an exclusive submission. Notice in the text it says, Wives, be in subjection unto your, see the little word, own husbands? And it's interesting that in the Colossians 3.18, 1 Peter 3.1, and Titus 2.5 passage, that little Greek word, idios, not idiot, but idios, not your idiot husband, but your idios husband. Now sometimes you think the S and the T ought to be just sort of exchanged, but no, it's your idios husband.

27:34 That is your very own husband, your one and only husband. The subordination to which you wives are called in these marital passages is an exclusive subordination. Not only voluntary, but exclusive. It is not the submission which you are to render in general to all men in the ecclesiastical sphere, 1 Corinthians 14 and 1 Timothy chapter 2.

28:08 It is not the submission which you are to render to all men in other spheres identified in Scripture. It is an exclusive submission and there are many reasons for that, not the least of which, it involves a serious obedience to 1 Corinthians 7, verses 1 through 4. Let each woman render to her husband his due. The wife hath not power over her own body, but her husband.

28:42 And the husband hath not power over his body, but the wife. And since it involves the joyful, the voluntary, the principled yielding up of our bodies in the meeting of each other's sexual needs, to make it anything other than exclusive would be to encourage either fornication, adultery, or polygamy, all of which stand under the condemnation of the living God. Furthermore, because it is a relationship that involves being submissive in everything, it must be that unique relationship in which the two are one flesh, in which two people are approaching life with this symphony and this accord of perspective and commitment and communication and all of the other dynamics that go into the uniqueness of the marital relationship. And so the nature of that duty of submission is not only to be seen as voluntary, but secondly, exclusive. But then thirdly, it is religious. It is religious.

29:57 And what do I mean by religious? Look at the text. Wives, be in subjection to your own husbands as unto the Lord. Unto the Lord.

30:14 It doesn't say be in submission to your husbands as unto a present, inevitable, but transitory cultural standard. That's the feminist rewriting of the Bible. Oh yes, the women in Ephesus in the first century were to be in submission to their husbands because, you see, that was the general climate and Paul would not have the church stand out by being too radical in advancing beyond its age. What a bunch of rotten, stinking blasphemy dressed up in pseudo-intellectual gobbledygook.

30:50 That's what it is! Nothing more, nothing less! Blasphemy dressed up in pseudo-intellectual gobbledygook. And when Paul Mickelson and his wife write pseudo-scholarship to prove that kephale doesn't mean head in terms of governing, but origin.

31:17 And people buy it and swallow it down and don't even burp. Now Wayne Grudem comes forward and traces out 3,557 usages of kephale in Greek literature. He says, I leave someone else to do the other 2,500 and utterly debunks the Mickelson scholarship. It's pseudo-scholarship.

31:43 Doesn't say be in submission to your own husband as unto a tyrannical, male-dominated Christian standard. It says as unto...

32:01 It means since the Lord has designed the specific partners and lovingly assigned roles perfectly suited to the manner in which He designed their persons, obedience must have reference to Him above all and in all dimensions of the wife's obedience. And if you wives want a beautiful commentary of what it means to be in subjection to your own husband, as unto the Lord, you get it in the latter part of Paul's dealings in this unit of thought with subordination, obedience, relationships, when he speaks to the servants. Look at verse 6. After he says to the servants, chapter 6, verse 6, be obedient to your masters, notice now, in singleness of your heart as unto Christ. See the similar phraseology, as unto the Lord, as unto Christ. Now he amplifies it.

33:05 Not in a way of eye service as men-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart. In other words, not being submissive to your masters only when they're watching, but when you're out of sight, you nonetheless know you're not out of the sight of your Lord who calls you to obey them. It is religious to the core. With good will, doing service as unto the Lord, and not unto men, knowing that whatsoever thing each one does, the same shall receive again from the Lord.

33:40 What's it mean as unto the Lord? It means that in all the outworkings of my role as the one in subordination to my husband, I view Christ in the centrality of His position. It is He who designed this. It is He to whom I belong.

33:58 It is He to whom I am accountable. It is He who will reward me as I by His grace fulfill my role. It is religious. And this perspective shows that failure to submit is of the essence of irreligion and impiety.

34:18 It's walking as the Gentiles walk. And if ever this were true, it's true in our day, the mark of the Gentile, the heathen women of this age, it is no man, no man, not even the man who put a ring on my finger will I call my Lord small Elf. I will acknowledge no man as one to whom I submit myself. Don't walk as the Gentiles walk.

34:51 This is religious to the core. And this is why even though you have an unconverted husband, it does not cancel your fundamental duty, 1 Peter 3, 1, and may be the very means God will use to soften his heart and be the instrument of his conversion. So the nature of this subjection, voluntary, exclusive, and religious. But now what about the ground of this submission?

Qualifying Elements: Ground of Submission (Creative Order, Punitive Decree, Redemptive Pattern)

35:20 In what is it grounded? Well, simply stated, the constitution and will of God. Verses 23 and 24. Wives, be in subjection to your own husbands as unto the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife.

35:42 Simple statement of fact. God has constituted this relationship that there is headship and there is the follower. There is the one who is subordinate to the one who leads and takes the position of authority. And according to the scriptures, the ground of that submission by the constitution of God rests down upon three pillars.

36:12 The creative order, the punitive decree in conjunction with the fall, and the glorious redemptive pattern. That's the three-fold buttressing of the ground of the submission. It is the constitution of God, but that constitution is not arbitrary. It is rooted in the creative order.

36:37 The account of Genesis 2 clearly indicates the man was made to lead and to rule and the wife was made to be a helper answering to his need. And the very order of creation is picked up by the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 11. It is amplified and he comments upon it and teaching female subordination. He roots that teaching in the very details of Genesis 2.

37:07 I read now verse 8 of 1 Corinthians 11. The man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man. That is, God did not take a rib from Eve and make a man and bring the man to the woman. No.

37:23 He took a rib out of Adam and made the woman and brought the woman to the man. For neither was the man created for the woman. No, he was created for his task. But the woman was created for the man.

37:39 And then he goes on to amplify on the implications of that in that particular setting and interlaces it with broader principles. Now what is he doing? He's taking what God did in creation and demonstrating it. And demonstrating that it is the ground of the woman's submission.

38:00 As one has beautifully stated it, the tendency to follow was embedded in Eve's very soul as she came forth from the hand of her Creator. The tendency to follow was embedded in Eve's very soul when she came from the hand of this Creator. I will make a helper answering to his need. Well, if the one who has need was already made for his task and to lead, what would God make?

38:34 A feisty little filly that just threw back her head and whinnied at the first suggestion that she existed to be Adam's helper? No. God made a creature in whose soul was embedded the disposition to follow. To keep up the imagery of the filly, one who the first time she felt the bit in her mouth and the reins of Adam's will upon her neck, she said, this is right and I'm comfortable with it.

39:08 It's only sin that's made her spit the bit. Only sin that makes her whinny and rear back on her hind legs and buck when her husband tries reasonably to direct her into the will of God. And it's remaining sin that gives you some good strong teeth, women, that at times makes you hold the rein. And it takes a wise and godly husband to know how to stroke your jaws until you feel comfortable with the bit.

39:40 Right back here against the flesh. But all he needs to do is neck rein you. But you know if he needs to, he'll pull hard enough to draw blood from the corners of your mouth. And you say it ain't worth it.

39:55 And the average, the average Christian woman, unless she's been grievously abused by men, never feels more happy and comfortable than when she's neck reined by a husband that she knows has got the gut to pull back and draw blood on her mouth if needed. I'm not saying punch you. This is all figurative language. You got the figurative language now.

40:19 Don't go out and say, Pastor Martin said women like a man that belts them in the mouth and draws blood. No, I'm using the whole imagery. You know enough, maybe I'm assuming too much. Do you understand the difference between neck reined and mouth reined?

40:34 A horse that's neck reined, there's a bit, and it's there. But all you need is a pulling across the neck to direct it. But if for some reason it gets a horn in its ear and it starts to take off, if you've got to, you can jerk back and the bit will get the fleshy part of the mouth and the horse will obey. I say woman, a woman as she came from the hand of God embedded in her soul was the disposition to follow.

41:06 Hence the wife is to be subject to her husband because God has constituted her husband, her head, in the creative order. And the very way he put her together indicates this. So when Peter says she is the weaker vessel, that's not to denigrate her. That's to be the occasion of giving her special honor.

41:25 Giving honor unto her as unto the weaker vessel. But then the ground of that submission in the constitution of God rests down not only on the pillar of the creative order but the pillar of the punitive decree. Now I know it's not popular to quote this passage, but until I get further light and until the most trusted Hebraists and commentators that I've consulted all get further light, I say that this subordination in a fallen world also rests upon the punitive decree. Genesis chapter 3.

42:01 Turn there for a moment if you will. Genesis chapter 3. After man sinned, God comes to the man and the woman. He deals first of all with the serpent.

42:20 Now He's going to deal with the woman. Verse 16. And unto the woman He said, I will greatly multiply thy pain and thy conception, whatever there would have been, of the normal intense contractions of the womb to expel a child, it has been greatly multiplied as part of God's punitive decree to the woman. The passage is clear.

42:54 In pain thou shalt bring forth thy children and thy desire shall be to thy husband and the commentators have a field day with that. What does that mean? And I'm still not convinced I know what it means. But then it says, and he shall rule over thee.

43:14 And the word for rule is one of the two or three standard Hebrew words which means to exercise authority. It's used throughout the Old Testament of the rule of kings, the rule of judges, so it does not have any necessary connotation of tyranny involved in it. Some have tried to import it. There's no linguistic basis to do it.

43:37 And this comes in the setting where God says because of the woman's peculiar involvement in the fall, she will have peculiar punitive measures taken upon her as surely as Adam had peculiar punitive measures taken upon him. And unto Adam he said, because you've hearkened to the voice of your wife and eaten of the tree, this is what's going to happen to you. Cursed is the ground for your sake. The soil you shall eat of it all the days of your life.

44:09 This is punitive, dear folks. How else can we read it? And part of the punitive decree to the woman is your husband shall rule over you. Some have suggested that since her sin was primarily that of rejecting her place as follower and taking the role of leader and taking of the fruit and giving to her husband, God intensifies his original order of subordination by saying he shall now rule over you.

44:44 But whether that's so or not, and even in spite of the softening and the enhancing of that rule with redemptive grace and dynamics, the text still stands that as part of the punitive decree of God because of the woman's sin, thy husband, he, shall rule over thee. And I don't believe that's cancelled by redemption because when Paul is proving women's subordination in the church in 1 Timothy 2, he alludes to the woman's peculiar place in the fall. Does he not? She was utterly deceived and was the first in transgression. This is why she shall not teach nor usurp authority over the man. And though we can't figure it all out, reality is like a three-foot reinforced concrete wall. When you come up to it with your car, you can do one of two things.

45:52 You can stop if you got any sense. You can bash your car into it and end up with your car in the junkyard. Now, there may be some women sitting here saying, I don't like this. My friends, I didn't write it.

46:07 And if you have some insight, I mean this sincerely, that will bleed out of this any present relevance responsibly, I would appreciate your becoming my teacher. And I'm not being taught by a woman face to face. But until you're prepared to do that, my friend, you've got a controversy with God that's proved just the very point that's made here. You're not only unwilling to take your place underneath your Adam, you're unwilling to take your place underneath God.

46:38 But then there is the redemptive pattern, which forms the ground of this submission. And this is the glory. And this, of course, is the dominant emphasis of the passage on what grounds is the woman to be subject to her husband and everything, the creative order, the punitive decree, but then the glorious redemptive pattern. For here the apostle links these two things again and again in this brief context.

47:08 Wives, be in subjection to your own husbands as unto the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, being himself the savior of the body. He is head and savior. But as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything. If there were no other passage in the Bible that should forever stand as an impregnable sentinel against the whole concept of egalitarian marriage, that is, a marriage in which there is no assigned headship and subordination, no leader, no follower, no fixed spheres of authority, they're all up for grabs, interchangeable as you will, no one, no one, no one can claim to believe that and truly believe the Bible. It's either or. It's either egalitarian marriage or it is divinely ordered marriage because egalitarian marriage by those who claim to believe the Bible is tantamount to blasphemy. Betty Elliot had the guts at a gathering of so-called evangelical feminists and they didn't expect to see her there.

48:31 She says, well, I'm an evangelical and I'm a woman so I ought to be able to be there. And she suggested to those who were propagating the folly of egalitarian marriage, let us rewrite the passage. For the wife is the head of the husband as the church is the head of Christ, being itself his savior. But as Christ is subject to the church, so let the husbands be to their wives in everything.

49:13 Oh, they didn't like that. And the reason they didn't like it is she was forcing their position to its inevitable and logical biblical conclusion. The pattern of redemption was fixed in eternity, unfolded in time and will abide to eternity. And when you start monkeying around with God's order in marriage, you're touching something very precious to the heart of God, which will never undergo any change in its essential structure.

49:50 God has constituted Christ the organic and ruling head of the church. He has constituted him the savior of the body. And wherever he is savior, he is head. Wherever he is truly head, he is savior.

50:10 And as the church is subject to its head and savior, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything. I'd like to pause and amplify that aspect. We don't have time. Let's consider quickly the extent of this submission.

Qualifying Elements: Extent of Submission ('In Everything')

50:32 We've looked at the nature of it, the ground of it. Now, what's the extent of it? Verse 23, 24. A husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is head of the church, being himself savior of the body.

50:49 But as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything. Why are we so fastidious? Or why ought we to be about the regulative principle, that is, in the totality of the life of the church? The will of Christ must be consulted.

51:09 We don't take the attitude we're free to do anything we like or desire unless God forbids it. But rather, we are only free to do that which Christ has mandated. Why? Because he is head and ruler and sovereign and Lord.

51:24 And he has said, Teach them to observe whatsoever I have commanded you, that we are not to bind them to anything that he has not commanded and revealed. As the church is subject to Christ, her subjection is not theoretical. Her subjection in the ideal is extensive, unqualified. It touches all of the areas in which he's revealed his mind.

51:52 The extent of the submission, then, of a wife is to mirror that in everything. That is, not just in the departments you deem your husband can do it better and think better, but in the totality of your relationship. Now, it was said tongue-in-cheek, but I'm afraid it's true in many marriages. The man said, I've got no problem with that.

52:18 I decide all the big issues in our household. When we're discussing whether or not our country ought to give support to Israel, he said, my opinion holds the day. And when we're discussing what should be done with China and what should be done over there in the Middle East and in the Eastern Bloc countries, what I say carries weight in our home. My wife makes the little decisions, what car we should buy, where we should live, how much money should be spent on vacation.

52:48 I make the big international decisions. She makes the little local decisions. Well, what he was saying tongue-in-cheek is, she really rules the roost. Where we really live and where our money is spent and our interests and associations are established, she does not recognize my headship.

53:07 No, Paul says, in the totality of the life of the Church, Christ is head and sovereign. So in the totality of the wife's life, there is to be a joyful recognition of the rule of her husband. Now, I know there is the qualifying statement. This does not warrant her disobedience to a clear precept of God, Acts 5 and verse 39.

53:31 As Hodge has accurately said, this is the extent of a woman's submission, not the degree. This is the extent in everything that is in all departments, but limited in every department by the higher authority of God. As surely as a woman is to obey her husband in everything, that is the extent. She is not to obey him in anything in which he goes beyond the law of God.

Qualifying Elements: Climate of Submission (Reverence)

54:06 But in this setting, such situations, I believe, and trust would be rare. May God grant that we will be committed in heart to what the Word of God clearly states, that the extent of that submission is in everything. Quickly, what is the climate of that submission? What is to be the climate of the submission?

54:28 Verse 33. Sounds strange in our day. Nevertheless, do ye also severally love each one his own wife, even as himself, and let the wife see that she fear or reverence her husband. This word can mean anything from dread to respect to religious veneration.

54:51 It's the word used in verse 21, subjecting yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ. What is the fear of Christ? It is the religious veneration of Christ, the recognition of the glory of his person, a glad acceptance of the sufficiency of his work, a joyful acknowledgment that I'm under his yoke. The fear of Christ, let the wife see that she fear her husband, that is, deliberately, consciously recognize his position by divine appointment, his place over me in the will and purpose of God.

55:29 And it has nothing to do with his body build. It has nothing to do with whether he's handsome or ugly. It has nothing to do with whether he's a bit thick or whether he's sharp-minded. It has to do with the fact that he's your husband.

55:44 And remember, nobody contracted your marriage, drugged you, dragged you down an aisle, and while you're unconscious, stuck a ring on your finger, then woke you up and shooed you out on a honeymoon. You chose the bloke. You chose him. Now God says, you have no choice.

56:08 Reverence him. And here I commend to some of you that obviously did choose. See, for the English, bloke is not a derogatory term, sort of an intimate term of a chat. Over here, a bloke, Ash, is a bloke.

56:28 The English parallel, he's a rotter. All right, now you got it. All right, we're speaking two different languages here. But seriously, you chose him.

56:40 And for you who've chosen such a person, may I commend to you a careful, prayerful study of the life of Abigail. I believe, among other things, God put Abigail in the Bible to help godly women who want to be subject to their husbands and reverence them, though they are navels. As is his name, so he is. He's a fool.

57:03 But oh, what a wise woman she was. And though she had to learn tactful ways to circumvent his folly and get underneath and around some of his stupidity, she obviously was a noble woman. And I commend to some of you who have a painful lot, and now I mean no humor, I'm dead serious now, but God does not say, and let the wife see that she reverence or fear her husband if he's worthy. Regardless of whether he's worthy of it or not, God calls you the same way he calls us to honor the king, though the king may be a fool, and to respect the powers that be, though they may in so many areas elicit no respect from us. It is far better to follow God's order with all of its limitations in the reality of the situation than to go in the direction of anarchy. Anything is better than anarchy. Well, I've sought to open up the passage looking at the fundamental duty to wives, be submissive to your husbands, the qualifying elements of that submission, and my concluding exhortation will indeed be very brief.

Concluding Observations and Exhortations

58:26 Number one, it's wickedness for men to refuse to assume their headship. Do you see that in the passage, men? As the church, the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be in submission to their husbands in everything. Christ is our head, is not mute.

58:47 He speaks, and he makes his will known. He is saving, and his saving work is manifest to us daily, and his headship is expressed clearly. God have mercy on you men to whom God has given wives, who with all their heart want to do this. You're one of those mute men that doesn't make known your will for the household.

59:24 And your wife is confused as to what your mind and will is. This passage assumes in calling women to be subject to their husbands that their husbands are assuming a headship. And whether it's through laziness, timidity, through following bad patterns, men, by the grace of God, say it's going to stop, and I will be a head to my wife. Secondly, it is wickedness for women to refuse their place of subjection.

60:00 You say, I didn't have a good example. My mother was a veritable matriarchal witch. So what? You mean her example's more powerful than the example of the church in its submission to Christ?

60:12 More powerful than the work of the Holy Ghost to transform you so that you no longer walk as your Gentile mother walked? Stop this copping out of your mother's example. It's wickedness for you to refuse what God has made plain and for which in Christ he's given you gracious ability. Third application, see the impossibility of having biblical ethics without biblical theology?

60:44 Paul can't teach you the most mundane duties of husbands and wives without planting the most profound theology right in the midst. Christ's love for the church, the church's submission to Christ, Christ's headship, the union of Christ with his people. This mystery is great, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. The moment, the moment you get weary of sound doctrinal preaching, what you're saying is, I'm weary of careful Christian living.

61:15 The two stand or fall together. May doctrinal preaching ever mark our churches, for without it there is no base of true ethical instruction. And finally, you see now why Paul introduced the whole section by saying, be filled with the Spirit? You wives, if you're going to be subject to your husbands according to this pattern, you're going to need more than Adam gave you.

61:46 You're going to need more than what you've picked up in looking at the lives of godly women around you. You're going to need the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. I close with this beautiful little commentary from Lenski, the Lutheran commentator. In the state of innocence, the husband was the head and the wife subjected herself to him as the head.

62:10 God made marriage so ideal, lovely, blessed and perfect. Sin entered and disturbed this relation. Eve fell. Adam followed.

62:19 God's order was subverted. And in the state of sin, the divine and blessed order is disturbed in two directions. Wives seek to rule their husbands and refuse loving self-subjection. Husbands tyrannize their wives, often to the point of enslaving them.

62:36 Endless woes result. Christianity restores the divine order with all its happiness. Yet when Christianity came and elevated women and wifehood from their pagan degradation and made male and female one in the Church of Christ, the danger of antinomian views regarding wifehood appeared. Wives might be inclined to refuse self-subjection because of a false view of emancipation and independence in Christ.

63:05 For this reason, Paul ever speaks so clearly and shows both the original divine intention of the marital relation of husbands and of wives, and the sanctification of this relation and its glorious elevation, because Christ made it the image of His own relation to the Church, even as Jehovah had done this in the case of Israel in the Old Covenant. In our times, not a few Christian wives and husbands also have tried to modify Paul's words, especially concerning the what they say regarding the self-subjection of Christian wives, because it is claimed that this view is no longer up to date and befitting our advanced age. The more need is there that we understand just what Paul and the scriptures say on this subject, that we apprehend the inwardness of it all and the impossibility of our ever advancing beyond the true directions here laid down. And for that reason, I'm personally thankful that the promoters and sponsors of this conference were willing to go back over some old ground for a new generation, because if you wives are being submissive to your husbands only out of an accumulation of example and the general climate of your churches, and it doesn't grow out of immediate,

64:32 enlightened obedience to God and His Word, it's the first step to moving away from it. So may God call us back into living contact with His Word. Wives, be in submission to your own husbands as unto the Lord. Let us pray.

64:55 Our Father, we thank You again for Your Holy Word. We thank You that amidst the din and amidst the confusion of the voices of men raised in our day, we have a sure, a certain, a changeless Word. And how we pray that the Spirit Himself will so enable us to understand, submit to, and obey that Word, that indeed our relationships as husbands and wives will make it evident to the world around us that we are the new humanity in Christ. May they scratch their heads with wonderment and puzzlement to see husbands who are assertive and strong leaders and yet gentle and tender and sensitive to their wives. May they see wives who have keen minds and good judgment and sound reason and who exude a spirit of liberty and freedom and yet who joyfully acknowledge that they own without reservation the headship of their husbands. Lord, make us a mystery.

66:16 Make us a source of puzzlement to the world that we may give a reason of the hope that is in us and show this confused age that indeed Your ways are not only right but they are pleasant and they are good. Seal then Your Word to our hearts we plead in Jesus' name. Amen.