Distinctive Sexual Identity, Part 5

The point: Young women need to have their minds reshaped by the word of God to know what to look for in a potential suitor, prioritizing godly virtue over superficial qualities.

Martin recommends this book, which uses Joseph's life as a pattern for Christian manhood, illustrating dangers and virtues. He suggests it for young men and for women to know what to look for in a godly suitor.

While others are coming and finding their places, I do want to recommend very highly a book that has recently been republished called Letters to Young Men by W.B. Sprague, or sometimes his name is pronounced Sprague, his most well-known book is the book Lectures on Revivals, which was reprinted or has gone through several reprints by the Banner of Truth Trust. But this book, recently reprinted by Sprinkle Publications and with a foreword by our dear friend Pastor George McDiarmid from the Ballston Lake Baptist Church, contains some very helpful materials on this general subject again of what i...

0:17 - 1:41 Read in full sermon

The point: Young women need to have their minds reshaped by the word of God to know what to look for in a potential suitor, prioritizing godly virtue over superficial qualities.

Martin humorously illustrates the rarity of a virtuous man by saying if a woman finds a 'Joseph,' even if he's short, thin, and has zits, she should 'grab him' because such men are rare.

So I highly recommend this, not just to the young man, but to any of the men and also to you women who are seeking to have your minds remolded in terms of what you should look for in a potential suitor, in one who might be interested in you. You were brought up in an age where perhaps you were subtly, and at times not so subtly, conditioned to look for things that have nothing to do with true godly, manly virtue. And you as a young woman need to have your mind reshaped by the word of God. So this book is not only for young men to know what they ought to be, but I would recommend it to young wo...

2:43 - 3:52 Read in full sermon

The point: Wives must understand that their submission 'as it is fitting in the Lord' means they have supreme allegiance to Christ and must refuse to submit to demands contrary to God's revealed will, even defying their husbands if…

Martin gives a hypothetical example of a husband demanding his wife participate in a 'swinging lifestyle.' The wife's duty to submit 'as it is fitting in the Lord' means she must defy him because it contradicts God's word against adultery.

In the light of God's mercy in Christ, everything that pertains to the doctrine of union with Christ, all of the dynamics of grace to the matter of the wife's subjection to her husband. Now, that means it is not only her duty to submit to her husband as unto the Lord, Ephesians chapter 5, to submit to him because of her love to the Lord, but it means it is her duty to rear back on her hind legs and refuse to submit to him if he makes demands that are contrary to the revealed will of God. You see, a woman cannot keep this injunction, be in subjection to your husbands as it is fitting in the Lor...

16:51 - 18:18 Read in full sermon

The point: Wives must understand that their submission 'as it is fitting in the Lord' means they have supreme allegiance to Christ and must refuse to submit to demands contrary to God's revealed will, even defying their husbands if…

Martin provides an example of a husband refusing to acknowledge a child's misbehavior, wounded by pride. The wife, convinced by the teacher's integrity, must defy her husband's self-justification because her allegiance to the Lord requires her to walk in truth.

She could look at him and say, Dear, the Bible says I'm to be in subjection to you as it is fitting in the Lord. It is not fitting that I should defy the word of my Lord which says thou shalt not commit adultery. And she must be willing, if necessary, to suffer for righteousness' sake in resisting that unjust demand of her husband. Now, few Christian wives would be called upon to do something like that, but suppose it's a matter where a report comes home from the Christian school and the report is that one of the children, little Johnny or little Mary, is not behaving himself or herself.

18:19 - 19:05 Read in full sermon

The point: Wives must understand that their submission 'as it is fitting in the Lord' means they have supreme allegiance to Christ and must refuse to submit to demands contrary to God's revealed will, even defying their husbands if…

Martin alludes to Sapphira's story (Acts 5) as a negative example of a wife agreeing with her husband to tempt the Spirit of God, implying she should have withstood him.

What is she to do? She is to be in subjection to her husband as it is fitting in the Lord. She's not to be a Sapphira. Remember what God said?

19:51 - 20:02 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: He then addresses Colossians 3:19, instructing husbands to love their wives and 'be not bitter against them.' Martin explores reasons for bitterness (disagreement, perceived…

To illustrate how husbands should not be bitter, Martin draws an analogy to God's character, asking how many times we have shamed or disappointed Him, yet He is not bitter but loves and cherishes us.

And how do the dynamics of grace impinge upon this directive? Well, we just stop and think. How many occasions if the Lord were like us would He have to be bitter toward us? How many times have we shamed Him by our speech and by our pattern of life?

25:40 - 26:01 Read in full sermon

Driving home: Ultimately, who is he resenting? God. Made her different. God. God did not give to Adam his own counterpart simply, to put it bluntly, with female genitals and primary sex organs. He gave her a woman with the psyche of a…

Martin quotes the song from 'My Fair Lady' to illustrate a husband's potential bitterness stemming from resentment that his wife is different, ultimately resenting God for making her so.

Can you think of another couple of other very critical passages in the New Testament? Yes, David? I was just saying, my wife a lot of times is indifferent to finding out what makes a woman tick and anything that's different. All he does is break into Higgins' song, Why can't a woman be like a man?

26:40 - 27:11 Read in full sermon

The point: Husbands must 'dwell with your wives according to knowledge,' diligently seeking to understand and appreciate the profound biological, psychological, temperamental, and emotional differences God designed in women.

Martin shares a personal anecdote about his 32 years of marriage, where he still discovers new things about his wife, who playfully says, 'Well, I make life interesting,' highlighting the ongoing process of dwelling with wives 'according to knowledge'.

There are many areas where they're different. My wife and I laugh about it. We've been working at it for 32 years this June 30th.

28:25 - 28:32 Read in full sermon

The point: Aged women are to be reverent in demeanor, not slanderers or enslaved to wine, but teachers of good, training younger women informally by example and interaction in domestic responsibilities.

Martin clarifies that the 'training' of young women by older women in Titus 2:4 is primarily informal, by example and interaction, rather than formal, structured classes, though those may have a place.

Here in Titus chapter 2, Paul is giving directions to Titus as an apostolic representative serving the Lord in the Isle of Crete in the infant churches and he says in verse 1 of chapter 2, speak the things that befit the sound or healthy teaching. And then he gives those specifics that are to be enforced that the aged men be temperate, grave, sober-minded, sound in faith, in love, in patience, that the aged men be and the aged women likewise be reverent in demeanor, not slanderers, nor enslaved to much wine, teachers of that which is good, that they may train the young women. And they undersco...

29:27 - 30:46 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: The sermon shifts to the third category: 'gracious adaptation to our abnormal emergency situation' since the Fall. Martin expounds Matthew 19:3-12, where Jesus discusses eunuchs…

Martin gives the historical example of pagan kings castrating men to serve as trustworthy keepers of their harems, illustrating how sin creates abnormalities in society.

I'm saying that in this context our Lord is teaching that some people will have no desire to marry because of the abnormalities that have entered as a result of sin. So some are eunuchs from their mother's womb. And he says, and there are eunuchs that were made eunuchs by men. And sin has created such insensitivity that you have on the one hand the pagan king or ruler who has his harem and he wants to have a male leader keeping the harem.

39:38 - 40:22 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: The sermon shifts to the third category: 'gracious adaptation to our abnormal emergency situation' since the Fall. Martin expounds Matthew 19:3-12, where Jesus discusses eunuchs…

Martin provides the historical example of 'castrati' in music, where boys were castrated to preserve their soprano voices, further illustrating how sin leads to such abnormalities.

And often men were made eunuchs by men for this very purpose. Society is so degenerated that sometimes as some of you who know the history of music are aware you had the castratis. They were the male sopranos and the only way you could keep their voices in the upper register was to castrate them. And with no more production of male hormones there was no thickening of the normal thickening of the voice with a male voice and male tongue.

40:41 - 41:08 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: The sermon shifts to the third category: 'gracious adaptation to our abnormal emergency situation' since the Fall. Martin expounds Matthew 19:3-12, where Jesus discusses eunuchs…

The Apostle Paul is presented as a prime example of someone who made himself a 'eunuch for the kingdom of heaven's sake,' choosing singleness despite having normal sexual appetites, for the sake of gospel demands.

The apostle Paul. First Corinthians 9. There is no indication that Paul was a eunuch from his birth or a eunuch made so by men. He said do not I have a right to lead about a wife?

41:55 - 42:08 Read in full sermon

The point: Every single person over 25, and every married person, should read Margaret Clarkson's 'So You're Single' to understand the unique challenges and opportunities of singleness and how God meets the needs of singles.

Martin recommends this book for singles and marrieds, praising Clarkson's ability to embrace singleness without losing femininity and her insights into the unique challenges and joys of a single life, reading excerpts from her introduction.

have singleness imposed upon them against their own choice some are eunuchs from the birth some are eunuchs made so by man and may I say it reverently there are many women who are eunuchs because no man has sought their hand in marriage or those who have they have not been able in good conscience to respond and so a life of singleness is that to which God has called them now at this point in the closing minutes I want to introduce another book particularly for every single person over the age of 25 and I wish every married person no matter how old you are would read the book as well it's by Ma...

47:30 - 48:57 Read in full sermon

The point: Every single person over 25, and every married person, should read Margaret Clarkson's 'So You're Single' to understand the unique challenges and opportunities of singleness and how God meets the needs of singles.

Martin also recommends Clarkson's book 'Susie's Babies,' a 'finest little primer on human sexuality' that he used to introduce his children to the birds and the bees through the story of a hamster.

have singleness imposed upon them against their own choice some are eunuchs from the birth some are eunuchs made so by man and may I say it reverently there are many women who are eunuchs because no man has sought their hand in marriage or those who have they have not been able in good conscience to respond and so a life of singleness is that to which God has called them now at this point in the closing minutes I want to introduce another book particularly for every single person over the age of 25 and I wish every married person no matter how old you are would read the book as well it's by Ma...

47:30 - 48:57 Read in full sermon

The point: Every single person over 25, and every married person, should read Margaret Clarkson's 'So You're Single' to understand the unique challenges and opportunities of singleness and how God meets the needs of singles.

Martin reads an extended anecdote from Clarkson's book, where a 13-year-old girl, Marigold, asks her, 'Don't you wish you had a man to kiss at night?' This illustrates the profound human need for intimacy and the unique experience of singleness at different life stages.

is truly to function as the body of Christ it is important that marrieds know how singles think and feel because married people who are all single once they tend to think that they know all there is to know about singleness I suggest this is not so there is a vast difference between being single at 25 or 30 with marriage still a viable possibility and being single at 45, 50 or 60 with little or no prospect of ever being anything else singleness has a cumulative effect on the human spirit which is entirely different at 50 than at 30 and then she goes on to urge married people to read this so th...

50:25 - 51:51 Read in full sermon