Distinctive Sexual Identity, Part 5

Introduction and Book Recommendation: Letters to Young Men

0:02 This adult Sunday school class was held on May 22, 1988 at the Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey.

0:17 While others are coming and finding their places, I do want to recommend very highly a book that has recently been republished called Letters to Young Men by W.B. Sprague, or sometimes his name is pronounced Sprague, his most well-known book is the book Lectures on Revivals, which was reprinted or has gone through several reprints by the Banner of Truth Trust. But this book, recently reprinted by Sprinkle Publications and with a foreword by our dear friend Pastor George McDiarmid from the Ballston Lake Baptist Church, contains some very helpful materials on this general subject again of what is Christian manhood, I have been recommending again and again Elizabeth Elliot's book The Mark of a Man, and what Sprague does in this book Letters to Young Men is to take the life of Joseph and to use it as a pattern of both warnings and positive examples of what is involved in being a truly virtuous young man. For example, he has a chapter on danger from living away, from home, danger from living in a corrupt state of society,

1:42 danger from being cast into adversity. These are some of the dangers that Joseph faced as a young man. And then the second section of the book deals with the character to which young men should aspire. And listen to the simple one-word chapter headings.

2:01 Integrity. Diligence. Economy. Dignity.

2:06 Sympathy. Forgiveness of injuries, etc. And then part three is the rewards that crown a virtuous course of life. Virtue crowned with safety.

2:19 Virtue crowned with peace. Virtue crowned with honor. And again, all of these principles illustrated from the life of Joseph. And just as we say one picture is worth a thousand words, when we have these virtues as well as the temptations of a young man, embodied in the concrete example of a biblical character such as Joseph, it is most helpful.

2:43 So I highly recommend this, not just to the young man, but to any of the men and also to you women who are seeking to have your minds remolded in terms of what you should look for in a potential suitor, in one who might be interested in you. You were brought up in an age where perhaps you were subtly, and at times not so subtly, conditioned to look for things that have nothing to do with true godly, manly virtue. And you as a young woman need to have your mind reshaped by the word of God. So this book is not only for young men to know what they ought to be, but I would recommend it to young women so that you'll know what to look for. And if you get a Joseph, he may only be 5'2 and 105 pounds and have a bad case of zits, but I would recommend it to young women so that you'll know what to look for. And I tell you, you better grab him because such men are rare in whatever shape they come, in whatever color they come. And a virtuous man is a rare thing in our day as is a virtuous woman.

3:52 So I would heartily recommend Sprague's book, and then I'll be recommending another book later on in our studies this morning, particularly again to the singles, but also to those who are married among us. Well, we do welcome...

Review of the Series: Crucial Issues Facing the People of God

4:08 particularly visitors who may be with us today. I haven't met their faces yet, but I do know that we do have some visitors from the southern part of our country, and we do cordially welcome them. And we should let you know what we are doing in this class. We are presently engaged in a study under the general heading of crucial issues facing the people of God.

4:32 And we laid a foundation for this series of studies by a careful study of... Romans 12, 1 and 2, in which the people of God are called to a radically different lifestyle based on their grateful response to the mercies of God to them in Christ, and the pattern by which they enter that lifestyle is both negative and positive.

4:58 They are not conformed to this present evil age, but they are continually transformed by the renewing of their minds. And now we have begun to concentrate on the first crucial issue that faces us as the people of God, namely, the whole matter of male-female identity, roles, and functions. And thus far, we have covered two categories. We looked, first of all, at the fundamental realities of male and female roles and relationships embedded in God's creative design and action.

5:35 And that found us primarily... In Genesis chapters 1 and 2.

5:41 Then we considered, secondly, the tragic disruption of God's design through the fall of man into sin. And there we began with Genesis 3, concentrated primarily on Genesis 3, 1 through 17, though we did branch into other areas. And now we are considering this third major category in which we are trying to just, as it were, put on the...

6:07 Broad strokes of biblical perspectives on male and female roles, relationship, and identity. And it's what I'm calling the glorious design and dynamics of restorative grace in male and female roles and relationships. The glorious design of restorative grace, that is what God has purposed in redemption, in his own...

6:38 Sovereign grace and will. Design, the dynamics, the power that God, through Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, makes available to his people, that this design may be something more than mere idealism. So we need to contemplate what grace has done, both in its design and also in its dynamics. The power...

Restoration of Designed Equality in Christ

7:09 To perform. And we looked last time, that was two Lord's Days ago, at large letter A under Roman numeral 3, the glorious design and dynamics of restorative grace. And we saw, first of all, that there is the restoration of the originally designed equality between male and female. And when someone tell me, please, first of all, raising your hand, what is the watershed?

7:39 The key passage which addresses this issue. Someone tell us, please.

7:50 When we think of what God has designed and what grace has effected in restoring the levels of originally designed equality, what passage clearly teaches that which God has done? All right, Parnell. All right, Galatians 3 and verse 28. And we ought all to be familiar, both with the location...

8:16 with the location of this passage, its teaching, in its context. It is not dealing with the subject of the roles within marriage, respective roles in the church. It is talking about the privileges that come to those who are the spiritual seed of Abraham under the new covenant. And we are told in Galatians 3.28, there can be neither Jew nor Greek, bond nor free, male, and female, and no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ's, then are you Abraham's seed, heirs according to promise. And then we noticed in a parallel passage, 1 Peter 3.7, where Peter is dealing with definite roles and specific non-interchangeable responsibilities in the marriage relationship, in 1 Peter 3, he calls upon wives to submit to husbands, he calls upon husbands to dwell with their wives according to knowledge, yet,

9:26 embedded in that very passage, he uses this terminology, joint heirs of the grace of life. So in terms of spiritual life and privilege, there is equality in Christ. And then as I was reviewing these materials, my mind went back to a passage that we ought also to include in this area of our thinking. It's in the Gospel of Mark.

9:51 Can any of you remember back into the Dark Ages, in the early chapters of Mark, as we were preaching through, a passage that addresses this subject of the equality of standing in the family of God with reference to sexual distinctions?

10:10 All right, Gary?

10:16 Mark 12. Oh, you're going...

10:18 No, you aren't back in the Dark Ages. That was just back in...

10:21 Medieval times, all right? What did you have in mind, Gary?

10:37 All right, and what would the point be there? At least with regard to the subject of marriage and procreation. That there will be male and female,

11:00 I think we'd have a pretty hard job to prove that that distinction will be blurred. But the sexual aspects resulting in procreation, that's what's being addressed. Whose wife shall she be in the resurrection? And you remember I was very guarded, in saying, as far as...

11:16 The only thing that the Bible clearly asserts is those dimensions of sexuality that find expression in procreation, they will no longer be present in the age to come. So I'd say this is a rather weak passage on which to build the case. I'm thinking much back, much earlier. All right?

11:36 Yes. Paul? There we are. Mark chapter 3.

11:43 We start in verse 31. And there come his mother and his brethren, and standing without, they sent unto him, calling him, and a multitude was sitting about him. And they say unto him, Behold, your mother and your brethren without seek for you. And he answered them and said, Who is my mother and my brethren?

12:03 And looking round on them that sat round about him, here are those attached to Christ and to his word, he said, Behold, my mother and my brethren. And notice, of whom? Of whom the brotherhood is composed. For whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother and sister and mother.

12:28 So in the fellowship of loving, believing, obedient attachment to Christ, these distinctions are utterly obliterated as far as spiritual privilege and how God regards us in Christ. And this truth must be asserted it must be constantly preached, it must be understood, and it must be lived out in our relationship one to another. And as we said last week, if it is where you have a community of disciples who understand this wonderful teaching of our restored standing before God in Christ in which male and female are equal, they are part of the new humanity, and men and women relate to one another, in that way, treating each other as God has treated them, receiving one another as God in Christ has received them, while at the same time holding tenaciously to their biblically assigned roles such a group of people will be a constant source of puzzlement and amazement to the world. Because in the world's thinking, if you have any assigned irreversible roles in which someone leads and someone follows, and someone follows, and someone follows, and someone follows, and someone follows, there you must automatically have inferiority and superiority, you must have tyranny and subjugation,

13:57 you must have demeaning and all of these other horrible things. But the church of Christ ought to be the living, constant answer to the fact that that is not necessarily so. So we must understand then this restoration of the originally designed equality, and then we were beginning to address the purification of the originally assigned roles. Sin has horribly distorted the originally assigned roles so that men, instead of leading the helper given answering to their needs, they dominate and they rule with harshness, insensitivity, with a lack of even desire to understand what makes women tick, and their irritability, irritated that women are different, and they give vent to their irritation in taking advantage of them as the weaker sex, and women likewise, they react in ways that are contrary to the will of God, but in the dynamics and design of grace, there is a purification of the originally assigned roles, and we looked at the first key passage that teaches that, Ephesians 5, 21 and following, and there we concluded our study last time. Now, I want us to look at several other passages, and I ask you as a homework assignment

Purification of Assigned Roles: Wives' Submission in the Lord (Colossians 3:18)

15:24 to think of three or four other key passages which clearly teach that there are assigned roles, but within those roles, the dynamics and the design of grace elevate and purify those roles. Have you found another passage or two or three or four? Someone be bold enough to suggest one. Yes, Doug?

15:52 Colossians 3, I think verse 18. All right, Colossians chapter 3.

16:01 Pardon? It starts with verse 18. All right, Colossians chapter 3, starting with verse 18.

16:09 Wives, be in subjection to your husbands as it is fitting in the Lord. Now, do you see what he has done? He has placed, over the whole relationship of a wife's assigned position of submission to her husband, he has placed over that the whole canopy of that which is revealed to us in the saving work of Jesus Christ. Wives, be in subjection to your husbands as it is fitting in the Lord, in the light of everything that grows out of the revelation of Christ.

16:51 In the light of God's mercy in Christ, everything that pertains to the doctrine of union with Christ, all of the dynamics of grace to the matter of the wife's subjection to her husband. Now, that means it is not only her duty to submit to her husband as unto the Lord, Ephesians chapter 5, to submit to him because of her love to the Lord, but it means it is her duty to rear back on her hind legs and refuse to submit to him if he makes demands that are contrary to the revealed will of God. You see, a woman cannot keep this injunction, be in subjection to your husbands as it is fitting in the Lord, when she has supreme allegiance to the Lord Jesus Christ and her husband asked her to do something that would mean defiance of her Lord. It is her biblical duty to defy her husband. If her husband says, I have heard a lot on these talk shows about the benefits of the swinging lifestyle and I'm going to bring over a few of my friends, couples, and we're going to spend an evening in free sex. And the Bible says you're to be subject to me.

18:19 She could look at him and say, Dear, the Bible says I'm to be in subjection to you as it is fitting in the Lord. It is not fitting that I should defy the word of my Lord which says thou shalt not commit adultery. And she must be willing, if necessary, to suffer for righteousness' sake in resisting that unjust demand of her husband. Now, few Christian wives would be called upon to do something like that, but suppose it's a matter where a report comes home from the Christian school and the report is that one of the children, little Johnny or little Mary, is not behaving himself or herself.

19:08 They called in for a parent-teacher consultation and the teacher lays out the clear evidence that little Johnny, little Mary is being stubborn, rebellious, in plain old Americanese is being a brat.

19:25 Well, the woman is convinced of the integrity of the teacher. She has no reason to doubt the validity of her observations and so she's prepared to take the counsel to heart, but the husband, his pride has been wounded. He feels it's a slap on him, so what does he do? He starts engaging in a cursed pattern of self-justification and now he tries to get his wife to agree with him.

19:51 What is she to do? She is to be in subjection to her husband as it is fitting in the Lord. She's not to be a Sapphira. Remember what God said?

20:03 Why have you, Sapphira, through Peter, why have you agreed with your husband to tempt the Spirit of God? You should have withstood him. And you wives, if you have a situation like that, you withstand your husband. You say, dear, I'm sorry.

20:20 I cannot go along with this self-justification. There is failure in the discipline of our little Johnny, our little Mary. It has been confirmed by the teachers in the school. Something must be done.

20:34 You be in subjection to me. She just must say, dear, I'm sorry. I cannot defy my Lord because my Lord has told me to speak truth, to walk in truth, to walk according to truth. I dare not.

20:51 And so she has got to be willing to defy her husband. Now she doesn't need to do it by going down to Herman's and getting a set of sixteen ounce boxing gloves. And meeting him at the door and saying, now I'm going to defy you. She must do it in a way that is consistent with other biblical norms.

21:11 But defy him she must. Now you dear women must understand that or you're not fulfilling this biblical injunction. This is a marvelous release from being tyrannized in the name of submission to Christ. You see that?

21:28 Wives be in subjection to your husbands as it is in the name of Christ. You see that? You see that? You see that?

21:32 You see that? You see that? You see that? You see that?

21:32 You see that? You see that? You see that? You see that?

21:32 You see that? It's fitting in the Lord. Now look at verse 19. Husbands, love your wives and be not bitter against them.

Purification of Assigned Roles: Husbands' Love and Lack of Bitterness (Colossians 3:19)

21:43 Now, what would ever tempt a husband to be bitter toward his wife?

21:50 Ah, come on husbands, don't have so many. When have you been tempted to be bitter to your wife? Tess up now. All right, Belton, thank you for setting a good example.

22:04 Pass to my daughter.

22:07 All right, when she disagrees and you get bitter, why didn't she say it, my way? When she disagrees in the matter that you may be discussing, you can be bitter because it's an irritation that your thinking's been challenged and possibly, wrongly, maybe even your authority's been challenged and your temptation, rather than dealing with it biblically, is to be bitter. What else might a husband be bitter toward his wife? We must all have marvelous wives.

22:42 Let me put it this way. When do you think some other man might get bitter toward his wife? All right, now the hand's going to go up all over the place. All right.

22:57 Norman, you tell on someone else's wife. All right?

23:01 Yes, I saw your wife release your hand so you could... You know, one weakness often inhibits one's ability to press on with one's own plan which, as a man, you'd be able to carry out.

23:27 Yeah. And the weakness of the wife can often be in a caveman's way. Yeah. You feel, man, this is excess baggage.

23:34 I want to get on with my plans. And yet I know I've got to care for her. I've got to be considerate of her. And so there can be a bitterness because the wife becomes, in the language of 1 Corinthians 7, the occasion of cares in this life.

23:51 Paul said, he that is married shall have cares in this life. That's reality. And a man can get bitter. He wants all the privileges of the marriage.

24:01 But without the burdens and the liabilities and that can create bitterness. What are some of the other things that can create bitterness?

24:09 Yes, Elaine?

24:12 No? When people point out your own sins, you can...

24:17 Yeah. If you're self-defensive and don't want to face your own sins, I mean, few of us, when someone comes, no matter how sweet, no matter how much honey they put on the knife and all...

24:28 You know, the first reaction is to defend ourselves, isn't it? And to become bitter. All right? What are some of the other occasions in the marriage relationship when husbands particularly can become bitter to their wives?

24:47 Yes, Henry? Yes. If a husband is publicly demeaned by his wife, he can become very bitter. All right?

25:25 So, we who are married men, if we're honest about it, we can think of many ways in which we can be tempted to be bitter. But now notice what grace does. Husbands, love your wives and be not bitter. Against them.

25:40 And how do the dynamics of grace impinge upon this directive? Well, we just stop and think. How many occasions if the Lord were like us would He have to be bitter toward us? How many times have we shamed Him by our speech and by our pattern of life?

26:01 How many times have we disappointed Him? How many times have we been an impediment to the ongoing work of the gospel and yet, He is not bitter against us. He loves us. He continues to bear with us.

26:15 He nurtures and suckers and cherishes us. So, you see, in just these simple little ways, we see how the design and the dynamics of grace wonderfully purify the originally assigned roles of the husband as the loving head and leader and the wife as the submissive follower answering to the Lord. The husband's need. All right?

Understanding Wives According to Knowledge

26:40 Can you think of another couple of other very critical passages in the New Testament? Yes, David? I was just saying, my wife a lot of times is indifferent to finding out what makes a woman tick and anything that's different. All he does is break into Higgins' song, Why can't a woman be like a man?

27:12 You know, then he's going to be bitter. And he's really resenting not just his wife. Ultimately, who is he resenting? God.

27:20 Made her different. God.

27:24 God did not give to Adam his own counterpart simply, to put it bluntly, with female genitals and primary sex organs. He gave her a woman with the psyche of a woman, with the temperament of a woman, with the mental perspective and aesthetic sensitivities and emotional structure of a woman. And it isn't that she just was made different biologically. And you and I must resist to the death the horrible pressure coming from society telling us that that is the only and real difference.

28:05 That is not the only and real difference. And that's why so many marriages, one out of every two, are ending up in the divorce courts. Because Peter's words, dwell with your wives according to knowledge, are so vital. And it takes a lifetime to begin to discover those differences.

28:24 Those differences. Those differences. Those differences. Those differences.

28:25 There are many areas where they're different. My wife and I laugh about it. We've been working at it for 32 years this June 30th.

28:33 And just when I think I really know my wife in a given area, she'll come from right field with something that totally throws me and I'll scratch my head and then she looks at me and her brown eyes twinkle and she'll say, well, I make life interesting.

28:52 That's true. It makes life interesting. There's still so much more to discover. Husbands, dwell with your wives according to knowledge.

Purification of Assigned Roles: Older Women Training Younger Women (Titus 2:1-5)

29:00 All right? A couple of other key passages because we do want to move on and cover one other vital aspect this morning before we close. A couple of other passages which show how the design and the dynamics of grace purify the originally assigned roles.

29:19 All right, Jim? Titus chapter 2. Very pivotal passage.

29:27 Here in Titus chapter 2, Paul is giving directions to Titus as an apostolic representative serving the Lord in the Isle of Crete in the infant churches and he says in verse 1 of chapter 2, speak the things that befit the sound or healthy teaching. And then he gives those specifics that are to be enforced that the aged men be temperate, grave, sober-minded, sound in faith, in love, in patience, that the aged men be and the aged women likewise be reverent in demeanor, not slanderers, nor enslaved to much wine, teachers of that which is good, that they may train the young women. And they underscore that the language used here does not mean necessarily that the older women have a class that meets every Friday night in which they give three lessons on how to be a good wife. The concept here of training the younger women is not that primarily of official structured teaching and preaching. It's what we would call the informal training by example and by interaction that is occasional rather than that which is structured and formal. Though there may be a place for the structured and the formal.

30:46 That's not the emphasis of the passage. That they may train the young women to do what? To love their husbands. To love their children.

30:55 To be sober-minded, chaste, workers at home, kind, being in subjection to their own to their own husbands. Now notice what he puts as the great motivation. That the word of God be not blasphemed.

31:14 Now what's the relationship between women assuming their God-given domestic responsibilities in a way that is consistent with the word of God and the word of God not being blasphemed? What's the connection? Jim, since you suggested the passage, would you like to venture an answer?

31:45 Okay. All right. Let me phrase it this way. When people claim to come within the orbit of the saving power of the gospel,

31:57 they claim to believe the gospel, to embrace Christ as Savior and Lord. What are they saying about themselves? They are not only the recipients of forgiveness of sins, but they are now what?

32:16 New creatures in Christ attached to Christ in a relationship of faith and love and obedience and what are they committed to do and to be in every area of life? Obedient disciples of Christ. Make disciples, teaching them to observe whatsoever I have commanded you. So, every man, every woman who claims to have embraced the gospel claims to be committed to a lifestyle in which the word of Jesus Christ will rule them.

32:46 Rule in every area of life. Now then, if you have a woman who claims that and she is not chaste, she is not a worker at home, she is not kind, she is not in subjection to her own husband, what happens? It's the word of God that's blasphemed. People say, huh, if that's what the gospel does, then it must not be much worth considering.

33:10 If that's all that the gospel can do, why give it serious consideration? So the word of God, is ill spoken of when the domestic roles and patterns do not reflect adherence to and submission to the word of God. So here's another key passage. And let me just hasten, we're going to come back in subsequent studies and examine some of these in detail, but let me just list several other.

Other Passages on Purified Roles and Gracious Adaptation

33:38 1 Timothy 2, 12 and following, where the whole passage concludes with saying, whatever it means, nevertheless, with regard to the woman who doesn't try to usurp a rule, a place of rule or teaching in the church, but gives herself to her role as a bearer of children, she shall be saved in or through the childbearing if they continue in faith and love. So here is an area again where the dynamics of grace elevate the woman's position. Though in pain, she shall bring forth her children, though her conception is greatly multiplied with her pain, yet there is a sanctifying of her childbearing capacity by the dynamics of grace. And then 1 Corinthians 14, 33b through 37 is another very vital passage and 1 Corinthians 11, 2 and following. But we've looked enough now to see the general principle that we have in the scriptures not only a teaching of the original, original design and creation, the tragic disruption through the fall, but this third category of the glorious design and dynamics of restorative grace in male and female roles and relationships. There is a restoration

35:04 to the originally designed equality. There is a purification of the originally assigned roles. Now here's large letter C. There is a gracious adaptation to our abnormal emergency situation.

Gracious Adaptation to Abnormal Emergency Situation: Singleness (Matthew 19)

35:23 There is a gracious adaptation to our abnormal emergency situation. Now what do we mean by that? Well simply this. Since the fall, we are in an abnormal and an emergency situation.

35:45 Certain directives given to Adam and Eve before the fall cannot have any of the same place of importance subsequent to the fall. For example, they were told to replenish and subdue the earth.

36:04 Now the entrance of sin and the provision of redemptive grace has a mandate with it called the Great Commission. And the Great Commission, the mandate to make disciples of all the nations, to preach the gospel to every creature, takes precedence over the dominion. Now there are people in our day who don't accept that. And they would want us to think that we have a one-to-one equation between the original creation mandate to subdue the earth and our present situation as though the fall never entered.

36:40 Well the fall has created an abnormal and an emergency situation so that there are times as we shall see in a couple of key passages where the demands of the devil and the gospel may cause us to suspend certain ordinary male-female relationships and responsibilities. Now can you think of a key passage from the words of our Lord that address this subject?

37:14 All right, Jerry? Matthew 19.

37:18 As our Australian friends would say, spot on. All right?

37:25 Our brother Julian is not here this morning so I didn't embarrass him by saying that. He's up at Monroe Chapel. But spot on. All right?

37:34 Matthew 19, verse 3. There come unto him Pharisees trying him in saying, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? They bring up the whole subject of divorce. And after our Lord responds to this, the disciples, seeing that our Lord is now instituting a framework in which divorce can only be granted on the grounds of divorce.

38:01 Marital infidelity.

38:04 That's all that we have here. 1 Corinthians 7 gives an additional grounds for divorce. The forsaking of the spouse by the unconverted member of the household. But once the disciples see that our Lord is giving such a tremendous emphasis to the binding nature of marriage, notice their response in verse 10.

38:25 The disciples say unto him, If the case of the man is so with his wife, it is not expedient to marry him. I mean, if you're in, you're in for good until she dies or chases off another man.

38:41 I mean, that's serious commitment. And it is. And they said, if it's that serious, better not to marry. Now notice our Lord's response.

38:49 But he said unto them, Not all men can receive this saying, but they to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs that were so born from their mother's womb because of their mother's womb and because of their mother's womb. Because of their mother's womb. Because of their mother's womb.

39:04 Because of their mother's womb. Because of their mother's womb. Because of their mother's womb. Because of what sin has done in the effects of sin upon the human genetic pool, some people come forth from the womb with no normal, natural, sexual drive and appetite, which is essential for someone to fulfill the commitment of marriage in ordinary circumstances.

39:28 I'm not saying that if you have two people age 80 who have lost their sexual drive, it would be worth it. It would be worth it. It would be wrong for them to marry. I'm not saying that.

39:38 I'm saying that in this context our Lord is teaching that some people will have no desire to marry because of the abnormalities that have entered as a result of sin. So some are eunuchs from their mother's womb. And he says, and there are eunuchs that were made eunuchs by men. And sin has created such insensitivity that you have on the one hand the pagan king or ruler who has his harem and he wants to have a male leader keeping the harem.

40:23 Well, he's not going to entrust it to a virile male. So he would take and have certain men castrate it and make them eunuchs so they could be trusted with the harem. Now that's blunt language, but it's a language but those are facts. Some are made eunuchs by men.

40:41 And often men were made eunuchs by men for this very purpose. Society is so degenerated that sometimes as some of you who know the history of music are aware you had the castratis. They were the male sopranos and the only way you could keep their voices in the upper register was to castrate them. And with no more production of male hormones there was no thickening of the normal thickening of the voice with a male voice and male tongue.

41:08 And in the timber they kept their lovely soprano voices. So to keep their male sopranos some were made eunuchs. Now that's how sin has created abnormalities. So some are eunuchs from the mother's womb.

41:20 Sin and its intrusion into the physiology of the human race. You have genetic abnormalities. Some are born eunuchs from the womb. There are eunuchs that were made eunuchs by men.

41:32 Now notice and there are eunuchs that made themselves eunuchs eunuchs. For the kingdom of heaven's sake. In other words some have committed themselves to a life of singleness because of the emergency situation of the demands of the gospel. Now who is a great example of that in the New Testament?

41:55 The apostle Paul. First Corinthians 9. There is no indication that Paul was a eunuch from his birth or a eunuch made so by men. He said do not I have a right to lead about a wife?

42:08 The indication is he had all the normal God-given sexual appetites that would have enabled him to fulfill his own mandate of First Corinthians 7 let the husband render to the wife her due. But he said I've used none of these things and then the whole treatment in First Corinthians 7 of this subject indicates that there are times when men will make themselves eunuch for the kingdom of heaven's sake but then notice the qualifying statement he that is able to receive it let him receive it. He that is able to receive it. And Paul amplifies that and said every man hath his gift from God and if a man does not have the gift of continence that is the peculiar gift to restrain his God-given sexual appetite so that he does not burn with passion and continually leave himself liable to the sin of fornication because there is no middle ground according to First Corinthians 7. Either burn with passion or you get married and have the natural outlet of sexual passion but auto-eroticism is not in any way considered as a viable outlet a pattern of masturbation. Homosexual or lesbian activity is not considered as a viable option. The only outlet is in the sexual intimacy of the marriage relationship.

Singleness for the Lord's Sake (1 Corinthians 7)

43:35 That's the clear teaching as we shall again see when we get into the passage in greater detail. But what we need to see this morning and I'm particularly anxious that those of you who are single among us grasp this that in the glorious dynamics and design of restorative grace there is a gracious adaptation to our abnormal emergency situation and the words of Jesus point to that and First Corinthians 7.32 and following point in the sense in the same direction and let's look there briefly First Corinthians chapter 7.32 and following. Really could start up in verse 25 but in the interest of time but I would have you be free from cares. He that is unmarried is careful for the things of the Lord how he may please the Lord.

44:38 Now let me ask you is every unmarried person you know careful how he may please the Lord? No. Some of the most selfish sensuous godless people I've ever met are unmarried people. They don't want the responsibility of wife and children.

44:54 So this is no blanket statement that singleness automatically elevates you to a level of super sanctity. No. What he's saying is that when a person is unmarried and embraces his single state as a peculiar calling with a view to the emergency situation we are in he can seize that opportunity to render more single hearted service unto God. So he's speaking of the ideal.

45:27 So he says I would have you be free from cares he that is unmarried is careful for the things of the Lord how he may please the Lord. That is if he's committed to his singleness as the will of God and seeking to work it out according to the word of God that will be true of him in the same way verse 33 he that is married is careful for the things of the world how he may please his wife and is divided. And he's not speaking of that as though it were sinful. If you're married you better be careful about the things of your wife.

46:02 You better not act as though you don't have a wife. So also the woman that is unmarried and the virgin is careful for the things of the Lord that she may be holy both in body and in spirit but she that is married is careful for the things of the world how she may please her husband and she better be careful how she may please her husband that is her God given duty. And then he goes on to say that because of the peculiar circumstances and the commentators differ as to what those circumstances may have been no one can say for sure but in the light of those emergency situations he said he would have them be able to attend upon the Lord without distraction but having said all of that he said this is only my counsel if you marry you have not sinned if you marry you have not sinned and he underscores that several times in the passage so what do we learn from these two passages in Matthew 19 and 1 Corinthians 7 we learn this that singleness is an abnormality sometimes is a voluntary chosen path because of the emergency situation we are in for the sake of the gospel for the sake of the advancement of the kingdom of Christ some may choose singleness others

Book Recommendation: So You're Single by Margaret Clarkson

47:30 have singleness imposed upon them against their own choice some are eunuchs from the birth some are eunuchs made so by man and may I say it reverently there are many women who are eunuchs because no man has sought their hand in marriage or those who have they have not been able in good conscience to respond and so a life of singleness is that to which God has called them now at this point in the closing minutes I want to introduce another book particularly for every single person over the age of 25 and I wish every married person no matter how old you are would read the book as well it's by Margaret Clarkson called You're Single So You're Single exclamation point and Margaret Clarkson is a Christian school teacher in Canada written some lovely hymns has written the finest little primer on human sexuality that I know of all of our children got their first formal introduction to the birds and the bees through her excellent little book called Susie's Babies it's a book it's a little book in which she recounts what happened with her fourth grade school class in the Christian school when she had her little hamster Susie bred and every day the kids could ask questions about little Susie

48:57 and it's a marvelous wonderfully God-centered book on human sexuality and I heartily recommend that as well but Margaret Clarkson is a woman that I really wish I had had the privilege of meeting perhaps someday I should yet meet her because she exudes from the testimony of all who do know her personally and those who write about her someone who has learned to embrace her singleness without the destruction of her femininity and she's embraced her singleness in the light of the principles of the word of God and I want to read in closing a couple of pages that I hope will whet your appetites she said much to my surprise writing this book has been a beautiful and blessed experience and one that I wouldn't have missed looking back on well over 40 years of adulthood and all of them single I'm overwhelmed with wonder and worship as I trace God's hand at work in my life I marvel not at the poverty or emptiness that has been mine but at the wealth of my satisfaction in joy with David I exclaim thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies thou anointest my head with oil goodness and mercy shall fall follow me all the days of my life I hope that married people will read this book as well as singles now this is vital if the church

50:25 is truly to function as the body of Christ it is important that marrieds know how singles think and feel because married people who are all single once they tend to think that they know all there is to know about singleness I suggest this is not so there is a vast difference between being single at 25 or 30 with marriage still a viable possibility and being single at 45, 50 or 60 with little or no prospect of ever being anything else singleness has a cumulative effect on the human spirit which is entirely different at 50 than at 30 and then she goes on to urge married people to read this so that they might understand the psyche of singleness and then in her first chapter The Inquisition she gives a most interesting introduction to the book and I will close by reading these two pages it was my 30th birthday I was spending the weekend in the home of friends whose fascinating youngsters were among my greatest delights what's it like to be 30 Margie? the 13 year old redhead beside me spoke suddenly as we stood at the mirror putting pins in our hair at bedtime not at all not any different than it felt to be 20 I replied lightly

51:51 what questions kids do ask I smiled to myself inwardly Marigold lifted wide amber eyes and looked deeply into mine Margie she inquired pensively don't you wish you had a man to kiss at night? I did an inward double take but 10 years of teaching had taught me to register no surprise at any child's question no matter what my private reaction they had also taught me the futility of attempting evasion there was just no use in beating about the bush with this clear eyed young lady who had been my friend all her life and nothing from anyone as utterly transparent as Marigold could possibly hurt me there was no sting to her question only a profound need to know I drew a deep breath without waiting for my reply Marigold was hastening on I have one of course she reflected happily her face lighting up with a smile in fact I have several of them her eyes softened at the thought of the men in her life Daddy Uncle John Uncle Bill Grandpa then with a little sigh she came back to the point you haven't anyone have you? don't you wish you had? I don't know that I've thought of it in just that way Marigold I responded slowly but I know what you mean all right don't you wish

53:20 you had? she persisted relentlessly yes Marigold I answered truthfully if somewhat reluctantly I suppose I do looking up into my face Marigold smiled again a slow mysterious smile I think every woman does she murmured softly then briskly she concluded not very many of us are willing to admit it though laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter 30 years have passed since that night Marigold came to see the wisdom of restricting her nocturnal embraces and found her one special man to kiss at night she must have kissed him well for they have six children laughter but my single status has not changed I think back to Marigold's question and smile such an interrogation would shake me less today than it did then today it's easier to express our feelings about such a man than it used to be a great deal more is known about human sexuality we no longer feel slightly ashamed or even particularly shy about acknowledging the human desires with which we've been created in the image of God not everything about the sexual revolution has been that bad yet thousands of us must live for years even a lifetime denied any opportunity to express our sexuality in the beauty and intimacy

54:49 of Christian marriage what God's love for us seems to give almost universally sometimes he withholds how do such persons fare in the face of human needs like that expressed by Marigold's question what answer does God give us when our hearts cry out to him for there are answers God would not be true to his nature or his name if having promised to supply all his children's needs he then proceeded to ignore the human needs of large numbers of them but then he said God would not be true God is true to himself he does fulfill the needs of those who come to him he does have answers for those who are prepared to seek him with diligence God does not mock his children he answers them individually intimately and that is what this book is all about well I hope that's whet your appetite to see someone who's worked through this third area the gracious adaptation to our atmosphere the deeply someone who is seeking to bear nobly

Conclusion and Prayer

56:17 the imposed state of singleness we need to dwell with our singleness singles according to knowledge as well as with our wives. Let us pray. Father, we're so thankful again for your holy word that is indeed a lamp to our feet and a light to our pathway. We thank you that there is no concern which it does not address in its principles and we pray that you would continue to teach us and lead us in a plain path as we seek to understand and fulfill by the grace and power of the spirit all that is involved in our identity as Christian men and women, husbands and wives, those called to or voluntarily choosing a life of singleness. In every area, Lord, lead us, we pray, that we may not be conformed to this world but transformed by the renewing of our mind. We ask in Jesus' name. Amen.