Your Family life, Part 1

The point: Husbands and wives, beware of giving in to the pressures that would prevent or erode in-depth, no-holds-barred marital communication.

Martin uses the analogy of termites subtly eating away at a foundation to describe how pressures can erode a biblically ordered, gospel-flavored marital relationship.

like termites eating away at the foundation, are going to seek to make your biblically ordered, gospel-flavored relationship go sour? What will the enemy seek to do? Let me give you five warnings. Number one, beware of giving in to the pressures that would prevent or erode in-depth, no-holds-barred marital communication. I give it to you again.

34:20 - 34:55 Read in full sermon

The point: Husbands and wives, beware of giving in to the pressures that would prevent or erode in-depth, no-holds-barred marital communication.

Martin compares a wife's mind, soul, and psyche to a deep mine that husbands have the privilege and responsibility to penetrate and uncover through communication.

Beware of giving in to the pressures that would prevent or erode in-depth, no-holds-barred marital communication. First Peter 3 says, Husbands, dwell with your husbands in the presence of God. With your wives in an understanding way. A wife's mind and a wife's soul and psyche are like a deep mine. And you husbands have the privilege and responsibility of penetrating into that mine and uncovering what it is that makes her who she is. Paul could say in 1 Corinthians 2, Who knows the things of a man, save the spirit of a man that is in him? And what's the answer? Only God. Right now, you don't kn...

34:55 - 35:57 Read in full sermon

The point: Husbands and wives, beware of giving in to the pressures that would prevent or erode in-depth, no-holds-barred marital communication.

Martin uses the example of his own thoughts (about a mustache) to illustrate that inner thoughts are only known when expressed through words, emphasizing the need for verbal communication in marriage.

I know what I'm thinking. You don't know what I'm thinking. Would you like to know what I'm thinking? How can you know unless I what? Tell you. Who knows the things of a man, save the spirit of a man which is in him? Even so, no man knows the things of God but the Spirit of God, then Paul goes on to say, however, those hidden things, they are made known in words, which the Holy Spirit teaches. Once I open my mouth with honest words, then you know what was in my mind. You know what I was thinking when I said, do you know what I'm thinking? I was thinking, Comrade has a very nice mustache. Now h...

35:58 - 36:47 Read in full sermon

The point: If you are married, be prepared to know and to be known by your spouse.

Martin uses the metaphor of 'hidden caves of anonymity' to describe the isolation of spouses who live under the same roof but do not communicate deeply.

It's pathetic to think of people living under the same roof whose acquaintance is so surfaced with one another because they do not talk. They don't speak. They live in their hidden caves of anonymity.

37:56 - 38:15 Read in full sermon

The point: Husbands and wives, beware of tolerating, excusing, or justifying unbiblical responses to each other's sins and corrections.

Martin shares his personal experience of rationalizing, tolerating, excusing, and justifying unbiblical responses to his spouses' sins or corrections, making the point relatable.

You say, maybe... Do you know? Yeah, maybe I know. Forty-eight years with one woman, two and a half years with another. I know what it is to rationalize about tolerating, excusing, justifying unbiblical responses to the sin of my spouse or to the corrections of my spouse. You've got to stop it. There's only one way to deal with sin committed, and to have a healthy soul. Only one way. Proverbs 28, 13 says, He that covers his sin shall not prosper. The marriage in which marital sins are covered is an unprospering marriage. He that covers his sin shall not prosper, but whoso confesses and forsake...

41:44 - 42:41 Read in full sermon

The point: When your spouse confesses sin, be kind, tenderhearted, and freely forgive them as God forgave you in Christ.

Martin states that he never feels more like God than when he can freely forgive another human being, illustrating the gospel-flavored nature of forgiveness in marriage.

God also in Christ forgave you. The gospel comes to bear after the angry, sarcastic, snappy words have been spoken, and the person who speaks them says, dear, no more, no more. Forgive me. I sinned in those words. In my heart I've asked God to forgive me for Christ's sake. Will you forgive me? God says you're to be what? Not hard-hearted, not unwilling to forgive, but as I've said probably hundreds of times over the years, I never feel more like God in a way that's proper than when I can say to another human being, I freely forgive you. It's my joy to

43:17 - 44:11 Read in full sermon

The point: Husbands and wives, receive correction from your spouse, recognizing that God calls those who refuse correction 'fools.'

Martin uses a playful but pointed metaphor of a 'four-letter word' (fool) to describe those who refuse correction, emphasizing the biblical condemnation of such behavior.

Will not take correction? A four-letter word. Begins with F and ends with L and has got double O's in the middle. God calls you a fool if you don't receive correction when correction is in order.

44:50 - 45:07 Read in full sermon

The point: Husbands and wives, receive correction from your spouse, recognizing that God calls those who refuse correction 'fools.'

Martin references the psalmist's desire for the righteous to 'smite me' as oil, illustrating the spiritual benefit of receiving even harsh correction.

And the psalmist could say, let the righteous smite me. He didn't say, let the righteous gently, wisely, tactfully rebuke me. It shall be as oil. He said, let him smack me on the head.

45:08 - 45:22 Read in full sermon

The point: Husbands, prepare your heart to receive the faithful wounds of your wife's correction.

Martin contrasts blaming touchiness on PMS with attributing it to 'remaining sin' (RS), humorously but pointedly correcting a common excuse for unbiblical responses.

And you drive her back into a hole of silence by your unwillingness to be corrected by the person who's most competent to correct you because she knows you better than anyone but the Lord. And the other way around, you touchy wives, blame it on your PMS, shame on you. Not your PMS, it's your RS, your remaining sin.

45:38 - 46:04 Read in full sermon

The point: Husbands, prepare your heart to receive the faithful wounds of your wife's correction.

Martin shares his personal practice of preparing himself to receive 'faithful wounds' when his wife says, 'Al, we need to talk,' illustrating a humble posture towards correction.

That can only harm me. That can only harm me. That can only harm me. Lord, in my heart, when my dear wife of two and a half years says, Al, we need to talk, I know usually something's coming.

46:23 - 46:35 Read in full sermon

The point: Husbands and wives, beware of a pattern of life in which you don't pray together.

Martin describes his practice of holding his wife's hand during prayer, explaining that any unresolved issue would make him feel 'dirty' doing so, illustrating the connection between prayer and marital harmony.

Nothing will be a more significant discipline, in the maintenance of openness in a general way, keeping short accounts with God specifically, than praying together. I think back of those years, and the pattern Marilyn and I had was that she sat on the couch and I knelt next to her and held her hand as we prayed together. And if there was anything between us to hold each other's hand, we felt, we felt dirty.

47:56 - 48:31 Read in full sermon

The point: Husbands, exercise Holy authority if needed to ensure you and your wife pray together, aiming for a marriage marked by oneness at the throne of grace.

Martin uses the vivid, hyperbolic image of a husband 'dragging his wife to her knees' to emphasize the husband's responsibility to initiate and ensure prayer together, even if it requires strong leadership.

You say no more together. Well, I don't, it's not a matter of, it's a discussion here. We're going to pray together. You're bigger than she is.

51:43 - 51:56 Read in full sermon

The point: Husbands and wives, beware of succumbing to the world's perspectives concerning your middle and your later years.

Martin recounts the story of the rich fool from Luke 12 to illustrate the world's perspective of accumulating wealth for a life of ease in later years, contrasting it with God's judgment.

What's the perspective of the world? Well, perhaps the most crass expression is that man in Luke chapter 12. He said, well, I've had a big crop. I'm getting on in years, so let me build down my barns.

57:17 - 57:31 Read in full sermon

The point: Husbands and wives, beware of succumbing to the world's perspectives concerning your middle and your later years.

Martin describes the 'American dream' of retirement as kicking heels up and taking it easy, using it as an example of the worldly perspective to be rejected.

But it's that American dream that puts away enough, that from age 62 or it keeps getting earlier, and now with the economic crunch they're starting to want to push it back. But the whole notion, I come to a place in my life where I owe it to myself to kick my heels up, take it easy, and let the world go its merry way.

57:57 - 58:20 Read in full sermon

The point: As long as you have life, breath, and strength, your mentality must be to serve, dictated by a realistic assessment of your physical condition.

Martin uses his own physical condition at age 74 (neuropathy, messed up back, etc.) to illustrate the need for a realistic assessment of one's physical state while still committing to serve God.

Mark 8 and verse 35. Our mentality must be as long as I have life and breath and strength, I'm here to serve. Now my service must be dictated by a realistic assessment of my present physical condition. I am not standing before you at age 74, though I preached like I did when I was 40.

59:02 - 59:27 Read in full sermon

The point: Older women, embrace your role to train younger women to love their husbands and children, to be sober-minded, chaste, workers at home, kind, and in subjection to their husbands, so the Word of God is not blasphemed.

Martin uses the strong metaphor of 'courting the devil' to express his resolute rejection of the concept of retirement, emphasizing his commitment to lifelong service.

That's the responsibility. People ask, are you going into retirement? That's like asking me if I'm going to court the devil. No, I'm not going into retirement.

59:54 - 60:05 Read in full sermon