During the Session, Part 2

In this part of the sermon: Martin introduces the third main point: assessing progress and steadfastness. He highlights the assumption of honesty in pastoral counseling but cautions against the reality of…

Martin uses the analogy of an unhealthy marriage where signs are not patent, and the wife is intimidated or the husband fears the wife will be like a 'dripping faucet' or 'rain upon a tin roof' if he reveals the truth, to illustrate the difficulty of obtaining honesty in counseling.

And there are pastoral visits where you will ask people, are there any particular problems that need concentrated pastoral attention? What about the health of your marriage? And it's not a healthy marriage, but the signs of that ill health are not patent, and they're not being honest with you. Either the wife has been intimidated that if she told one of the pastors how bad things were, he'd chew her up, or maybe he's fearful if he tells how bad it is, she'll be like that drunken...

0:57 - 1:26 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin introduces the third main point: assessing progress and steadfastness. He highlights the assumption of honesty in pastoral counseling but cautions against the reality of…

The story of Ananias and Sapphira is used as a biblical example of lying to God's servant, even amidst an outpouring of the Spirit, to underscore the reality of dishonesty in the church and its implications for assessing progress.

dripping faucet, or that rain upon a tin roof. And then, we must never forget, Ananias and Sapphira, in the midst of that unusually concentrated outpouring of the Spirit on the Jerusalem church, close on the heels of Pentecost, they agreed together. And tempting the Holy Spirit was expressed in lying to the servant of God. So that in assessing progress and steadfastness, we've got to remember that we're making an assumption, and that the sheep are honest, and it's right to make that assumption, but realism says what appears to be may not really be the situation we're dealing with.

1:26 - 2:07 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin introduces the third main point: assessing progress and steadfastness. He highlights the assumption of honesty in pastoral counseling but cautions against the reality of…

Martin uses the analogy of 'airtight boxes and neatly packaged categories' to explain that counseling guidelines are not rigid rules but flexible suggestions, like a medical model.

And by way of introduction to all that we say under this heading, that must be understood, and then we must underscore again that these are simply guidelines and suggestions using the medical model. We cannot put these things into airtight boxes and neatly...

2:07 - 2:26 Read in full sermon

Driving home: You are not in the business of putting band-aids on bleeding elderly, or kissing Sonny's finger to make it feel better. Remember what our goal is? Evangelical transformation.

Martin uses the analogies of 'putting band-aids on bleeding elderly' or 'kissing Sonny's finger to make it feel better' to contrast superficial comfort with the true goal of evangelical transformation in counseling.

You are not in the business of putting band-aids on bleeding elderly, or kissing Sonny's finger to make it feel better. Remember what our goal is? Evangelical transformation. We're dealing in gospel dynamics, where there is an actual refinement of character into the image of Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit.

3:53 - 4:19 Read in full sermon

Driving home: You are not in the business of putting band-aids on bleeding elderly, or kissing Sonny's finger to make it feel better. Remember what our goal is? Evangelical transformation.

Martin uses the metaphor of a pastor becoming 'the sponge on which they dump this horrible syndrome of failure' to describe how some counselees only seek catharsis without genuine change.

And so we need to assess progress, because we are not there simply to have a catharsis of somebody, or to have a catharsis of somebody, or to have a catharsis of somebody, telling us over and over again how bad off they are. Now, you'll have people that that's all they want, is get rid of the pressure of the consciousness of guilt connected with failure. And if you let them, you'll simply be the sponge on which they dump this horrible syndrome of failure and the catharsis of confessing it to someone. To go back to failure, and that's not what you're about.

4:19 - 4:52 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: The first key question in assessing progress is whether the counselee is applying the biblical 'medicine' given. If not, Martin instructs pastors to confront them directly as…

Martin uses the medical analogy of a 'patient taking the medicine' to represent a counselee applying the biblical solutions given in counseling.

And so you have an obligation before God, as a gospel minister, to assess the progress while engaged in ongoing intensive counseling. Following on with the medical model, there are some questions you will want to ask in this matter of assessing progress. First of all, is the patient taking the medicine? In your initial session, you isolated some of the specific problems.

4:52 - 5:18 Read in full sermon

The point: Help people to realize that progress in ingrained patterns of sin (especially physical appetites) is measured by the frequency of falls, intensity of falls, and length of rebound time.

Martin provides a detailed example of a young man struggling with ingrained masturbation, illustrating how to measure progress in terms of reduced frequency of falls, even if not total eradication.

Check the frequency of falls. You're dealing with a young man who started masturbating before he even came into puberty. Six, seven years old. Three, four, five times a week.

8:23 - 8:36 Read in full sermon

Driving home: You have no heart to fight when you're swallowed up with self-loathing of unresolved guilt. It's the most debilitating thing in the world.

Martin uses the example of a man struggling with pornography to illustrate how progress can be measured by a decrease in the intensity of the fall, such as walking away from buying it even after looking.

And he's ashamed. And you've got to help him to see his progress is in terms of less frequency of fall. Intensity of fall. A man struggling with pornography.

9:51 - 10:01 Read in full sermon

Driving home: You have no heart to fight when you're swallowed up with self-loathing of unresolved guilt. It's the most debilitating thing in the world.

Martin uses the example of falling into sin and then recovering to illustrate how progress can be measured by the 'length of rebound time' – how quickly one turns to Christ after a fall.

He wants it as dead as it'll be when he's glorified. That's the heart of a Christian. But in aiming for that, his progress needs to be measured in terms of frequency, intensity, and this is critical, length of rebound time. Whereas once he might have let himself be loaded down with guilt for a day, two days, and you know from your own experience, you're never more vulnerable to indulge in the very sin that's put you in the dumps.

10:35 - 11:03 Read in full sermon

Driving home: Minimizes it to get you into it, and then maximizes to keep you under the guilt of it. That's his device.

Martin shares a personal anecdote about the devil's tactic of minimizing sin to tempt and then maximizing guilt after the fall, and how he used a calendar to track his own progress against ingrained sins.

And this is not theoretical, brethren. Again and again, in labor, and there are certain things that have died slowly in my life, I've had the tick marks on the calendar, so that I've been able, and the devil would accuse me, you know, this is the devil's master stroke. Oh, it's a little thing. Indulge it.

11:50 - 12:06 Read in full sermon

Driving home: Minimizes it to get you into it, and then maximizes to keep you under the guilt of it. That's his device.

Martin uses the example of a man instinctively shooting off sarcastic words to his wife, raised in a home where such speech was common, to illustrate the need to measure progress in frequency, intensity, and rebound time for ingrained habits.

And you've got to start that practically. The man who's just been instinctive to shoot off sarcastic words to his wife, it's his naturalist breathing, he was brought up in a home where that's the kind of speech that was constantly indulged between his mother and father, and he's determined to load gospel shot against this thing and see it lie dead at his feet. But you've got to help him in this area of assessing the frequency, the intensity, the length of the rebound. People with depression, people who have a problem, chronic gossipers, people who've had a difficulty of any kind of structure i...

12:37 - 13:15 Read in full sermon

Driving home: Minimizes it to get you into it, and then maximizes to keep you under the guilt of it. That's his device.

Martin uses the examples of chronic gossipers and those with inconsistent devotional lives to illustrate that progress is often gradual, not immediate perfection.

And you've got to start that practically. The man who's just been instinctive to shoot off sarcastic words to his wife, it's his naturalist breathing, he was brought up in a home where that's the kind of speech that was constantly indulged between his mother and father, and he's determined to load gospel shot against this thing and see it lie dead at his feet. But you've got to help him in this area of assessing the frequency, the intensity, the length of the rebound. People with depression, people who have a problem, chronic gossipers, people who've had a difficulty of any kind of structure i...

12:37 - 13:15 Read in full sermon

The point: Start with proven and fixed counseling frameworks and modify them, rather than trying to 'fly by the seat of your pants' and invent your own.

Martin uses the analogy of 'flying by the seat of your pants' to warn pastors against abandoning proven counseling frameworks in favor of an unguided, self-made approach.

so we need to perhaps ask the question is the spirit of God applying the medicine is it that we are not consciously praying that he will those some of the questions that will have to be asked and I commend to you the Christian counselors manual page 459 through 61 is the section where Dr. Adams has a helpful list of 50 failure factors and though I don't endorse all of them there's a lot of good helpful material in there and I commend it to you for your future use now as in all other areas of pastoral involvement brethren you may have to adopt a more rigid pattern at the outset as in preaching ...

16:53 - 18:22 Read in full sermon

The point: Establish some framework for periodic, focused, pastoral assessment of your sheep, akin to an annual physical check-up, to assess steadfastness after intensive counseling.

Martin uses the analogy of an 'annual physical check-up with your doctor' to describe the purpose of periodic, focused pastoral assessments – not to find a problem, but for preventive medicine and baseline assessment.

But I am saying that in the ordinary discharge of pastoral involvement there should be some framework whereby, the sheep know and you know that you can sit down with that sheep and have what is akin to your annual physical check-up with your doctor. It's not at your annual physical check-up that you're hoping to discover a tumor or anything else. You're going, with no particular problem, as preventive medicine to get a baseline of your overall physical condition. So, whatever you call that, certainly that would be a framework where you would say, now, John and Mary, it's actually been said, in...

22:00 - 23:04 Read in full sermon

The point: When a counselee has triumphed over a sin, ask their consent to send others struggling with similar problems to them for encouragement, applying the principle of 2 Corinthians 1:3.

Martin describes the practice of connecting a counselee who has triumphed over a sin (like masturbation) with another struggling with the same issue, to provide encouragement and accountability.

Or Pete, Harry, Henry, whatever your name is, God's obviously enabled you to make tremendous progress in dealing with the problem of your masturbation. If I have someone else come to me with a similar problem, am I at liberty, if I think it would help them, to send them to you? Oh, yes, whatever I've learned, never do it without, all right? And often again, with sins of addictive nature, despair keeps people from making any progress.

24:17 - 24:46 Read in full sermon

The point: When a counselee has triumphed over a sin, ask their consent to send others struggling with similar problems to them for encouragement, applying the principle of 2 Corinthians 1:3.

Martin shares a story about a woman struggling with bulimia and how he connected her with other women in the church who had overcome similar struggles, illustrating the principle of mutual comfort.

And when you can say, do you know that you sit with two or three people every Sunday who once did what you're struggling with? I can remember this when we had a woman who had given herself over to bulimia, binging and purging. And I said, do you know there are two or three in the church? No, nobody at Trinity.

24:46 - 25:06 Read in full sermon

The point: Establish a verbal code with individuals to discreetly check on their progress in specific areas of past struggle, even in public settings.

Martin shares a personal anecdote about establishing a 'verbal code' with certain church members, allowing him to discreetly check on their progress in specific areas even in public settings.

And then, in some things, establish your own verbal code with that individual. There are a number of people in the church, when I ask them in the presence of 20 other people, something like this, how are things going? Or how are things with you? We have our own little code language.

26:25 - 26:43 Read in full sermon

The point: Establish a verbal code with individuals to discreetly check on their progress in specific areas of past struggle, even in public settings.

Martin uses the metaphor of 'sheep who can't hide their condition' and whose 'countenance testify against them' to describe individuals whose spiritual struggles are evident on their faces, making them easier to shepherd.

You'll have some people, they spontaneously keep you informed. Others, the information comes on their faces. Isaiah says, the show of their countenance to testify against them. Thank God for sheep who can't hide their condition.

27:06 - 27:20 Read in full sermon

The point: Pick up on non-verbal signals from sheep (e.g., their countenance) that indicate a defect or struggle, and follow up with a phone call or post-operative session.

Martin uses the analogy of a doctor checking up on a patient after cancer surgery to ensure no cells are floating around, to illustrate the need for 'post-operative' spiritual check-ups after counseling.

Dr. Schlecker did a good job cutting out all the cancer. But every six months I go to him. I got another visit next month.

28:12 - 28:18 Read in full sermon

The point: If you lack the necessary time to adequately counsel a sheep, advise them to go to a trusted Christian counseling center, communicating with the center for continuity.

Martin uses the example of referring people with career planning or economic questions to Pastor Barker or Mr. Davies, to illustrate the principle of referring spiritual problems when one lacks the specific knowledge or time.

You want to be very careful, very guarded. But in the same way that constantly when people in the counseling session bring up something that has to do with career planning and economics, I don't have the knowledge that Pastor Barker does in that area, Mr. Davies. I shunt them off to them.

39:19 - 39:34 Read in full sermon

The point: Do not shy away from threatening church discipline, when biblically warranted and done in love, as it can be the most loving and effective means for a person's salvation.

Martin recounts a specific incident where he and other pastors threatened a man struggling with bulimia with church discipline if he did not wage all-out warfare against his sin, illustrating how such a threat, made in love, can be a means of salvation.

He was indulging. He was indulging in this sin of bulimia, binging and purging. Well, this drove us to do some reading and study on it. And in the course of it, we realized that sometimes bulimics, so violent is their vomiting that they can rupture blood vessels in the throat, can end up choking on their own blood.

40:39 - 41:01 Read in full sermon

The point: Do not shy away from threatening church discipline, when biblically warranted and done in love, as it can be the most loving and effective means for a person's salvation.

Martin uses the analogy of a loving doctor warning a patient to lose 50 pounds to avoid a cardiac arrest, to justify the loving nature of threatening church discipline for spiritual health.

And it's not a threat out of anger. It's a threat out of commitment to do them good. Isn't this what the doctor does? If you don't lose 50 pounds in five years, you're going to have a cardiac arrest.

42:11 - 42:24 Read in full sermon