60a) Specific Guidelines for Weddings

The point: Discourage couples from trying to memorize their vows and instead offer them phrase by phrase during the service to alleviate nervousness.

Compares a nervous couple trying to memorize vows to a child paralyzed by stage fright, illustrating why it's better for the pastor to prompt the vows.

When you get to your honeymoon cottage to speak out this full theology to one another, but they're at the wedding, maybe we can just pair it. But you've got to come to some clear agreement with them on this matter of the vows. I discourage them trying to memorize their vows because under the nervousness of the moment they get stuck and they're more conscious of trying to remember, like a little kid who's standing up, it's his first time that he's giving a poem at a parent's night thing and he's standing up there just, you know, paralyzed with stage fright, trying to struggle for the next words...

7:37 - 8:13 Read in full sermon

The point: Exercise love that 'bears all things' and be willing to 'swallow hard' when dealing with difficult personalities or suggestions during the rehearsal.

Recounts experiences with overbearing mothers-in-law trying to take charge of rehearsals, highlighting the need for grace and firmness from the pastor.

Well, can we do it this way? Can we do it this way? And you'll need the love that bears all things, not to show irritation and carnal reaction. And remember 1 John 3.16, that if love would compel us to lay down our lives for the brethren, for the sake of this couple, and maintaining reasonably good relations with relatives and friends who are part of the wedding party, then we must be willing to swallow, and sometimes swallow hard. I've had dominant future mothers-in-law try to take charge of a wedding rehearsal, and it has taken tons of grace to keep my days and keep everything going smoothly...

23:06 - 23:53 Read in full sermon

The point: Urge the wedding party to think in terms of having their clocks a half hour ahead on the wedding day to ensure punctuality.

Examples of minor mishaps like a broken shoestring or stubborn hair illustrate why the wedding party should plan to be ready well in advance of the scheduled time.

Urge them to think in terms of having their clocks a half hour ahead on the day of the wedding. A broken shoestring at the last minute, a stubborn piece of hair that normally the bride could get in place in five minutes with her curling iron, and lo and behold, she ends up spending 15, 20 minutes with it. Tell them, look, tomorrow the wedding's planned for 1 p.m.

26:30 - 26:52 Read in full sermon

The point: Seek to let your own heart respond to the joyful solemnity of the occasion, absorbing the joy.

Describes the unique joy of officiating a wedding for someone seen from infancy, illustrating the privilege of a long pastorate and the pastor's emotional connection to the couple.

And this is one of, of course, the privileges of a lengthy pastorate when it's someone that had no being in time when you came into an area and then you saw them when they were just a big lump in their mummy's tummy and then they were one of those that hugged you at the door and now they stand and, and God has led that young man, young woman to a godly mate and, and you realize that in the goodness of God, you've had a part in that whole process. Let your own soul drink in the joy of it. Don't, don't be so concerned that every, that you're insulating yourself because there is a contagion. Of b...

29:24 - 30:00 Read in full sermon

The point: If you sense distracting nervousness in the bride or groom, be their friend, speak softly, and offer reassurance, even a gentle physical touch.

A vivid anecdote of a groom fainting and severely injuring himself during a wedding, underscoring the importance of advising nervous participants to bend their knees to prevent cutting off circulation.

Don't lock your knees. You can cut off your circulation. I was at a wedding where a guy went over like someone had shot him with a .45 Magnum.

31:36 - 31:43 Read in full sermon