Sex Education of our Children

The point: Discharge your stewardship as prophets, priests, and kings to your children by declaring to them the mind and will of God, including His interpretation of sex and sexuality.

Martin uses the analogy of parents being constituted by God as prophets (to teach), priests (to intercede), and kings (to rule) to their children, establishing the divine basis for parental responsibility in all areas, including sex education.

He has made the Christian parent to be to his children a prophet to teach them the way of God, a priest to bring them to God in intercession, and a king to impose upon them the rule of God while they're under your house. If any man rules on his own house, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Now, it's not a matter if we take this by faith or we ask for...

0:34 - 1:02 Read in full sermon

The point: Ensure you yourself have a scriptural concept of your own sexuality, thinking biblically about sex and sexual roles.

He uses the metaphor of a brain being 'marinated' in the fluid of God's Word until it permeates one's thinking and affections, to illustrate the depth of biblical understanding required for a scriptural concept of sexuality.

I'm asking you when it comes to this whole matter of your sexuality, is that thing which sits in there and you all have one, has it been marinated in the word God? Now just try to picture your brain being taken out of your body and your mind and your mind being taken out of your body and your mind and your mind. And the word of God being fluid and it's laid in there long enough until it's marinated, you see? And has the very flavor of scripture permeated your head and then of course gotten down into your heart and your affection with regard to your sexuality?

15:06 - 15:46 Read in full sermon

The point: Cultivate openness and freedom in expressing appropriate affection between husband and wife in the home, as this rightly conditions children's minds about sex and sexuality.

Martin shares a personal anecdote about his son Joel commenting on his parents 'smooching,' which highlights the importance of open affection between husband and wife in the home as a positive informal sex education for children.

What a hallowed memory for a child to have. I was so tickled the other day when Joel said something, and we've been kidding him about it. He said, he said, oh, you two, you're always smooching. I said, what do you mean we're always smooching?

20:18 - 20:30 Read in full sermon

The point: Cultivate openness and freedom in expressing appropriate affection between husband and wife in the home, as this rightly conditions children's minds about sex and sexuality.

He uses the analogy of a 'little book on 10 lessons' to teach children about sex, to illustrate that there are no easy shortcuts or gimmicks to adequate parental influence; it ultimately depends on personal sanctification and relationship with God.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if it was just a little book on 10 of these lessons, how to teach your children about sex, and then say we'd read the little book and go, like, 10 of these lessons on how to written, no? There is no form or aspect of the Christian life which is not ultimately dependent upon the believer's relationship to his Lord and his present tense abandonment to and appropriation of the ministry of the Holy Spirit in his life. And so we're shut up again. Everywhere we turn in this whole series, you see, we're pressed back to where we started, the key to everything is the individual...

21:48 - 22:25 Read in full sermon

The point: Conduct formal sex education biblically, whenever possible, from an open Bible, teaching children that God made them this way and is pleased with their sexuality within His will.

Martin quotes Donald Tweedy's 'Sex and Saints' to support the point that biblical teaching on sex is realistic, forthright, and combines a positive presentation of purpose with warnings against perversion, reinforcing the need for biblical formal instruction.

He made us. I want to quote from an excellent little book, which I highly recommend. I wouldn't embrace every sentence in it, of Sex and Saints by Donald Tweedy, a Christian psychotherapist who deals with sex. And he's trying to grapple with a biblical philosophy of sex and sexuality.

24:46 - 25:06 Read in full sermon

The point: Use children's inevitable questions about sex and sexuality as wonderful opportunities for formal instruction.

He draws an analogy between teaching children about the evils of laziness and the honorableness of work (quoting Proverbs) and teaching them about sex, arguing that just as parents seize opportunities to teach about work, they should seize opportunities to teach about sex when questions arise.

things. They notice that money gets bigger when they're providing the best possible out of the Western world. When we talk about the law of God, the law of marriage, the law of marriage is the practice of a mother who is willing to do whatever she needs, to do whatever she needs. All the time we speak about it, we get so frustrated. We have to understand that that's not the right word. You're saying, by example, that we're equal to our children. But I'm not I'm not saying stop the child and you seek to admonish the child about the evils of laziness and the honorableness of disciplined, hearty ...

28:40 - 29:36 Read in full sermon

The point: Observe your children's development and provide formal instruction as they approach puberty, dating age, courting, and marriage, explaining physical changes, feelings, and God's purposes.

Martin describes parents becoming 'absolutely flustered' when children ask about where babies come from, likening it to an Old Testament man saying, 'that which I have dreaded has come upon me,' to emphasize that these are actually wonderful opportunities for parental instruction.

I've seen some people just so absolutely flustered when questions like that are answered.

29:58 - 30:03 Read in full sermon

The point: Observe your children's development and provide formal instruction as they approach puberty, dating age, courting, and marriage, explaining physical changes, feelings, and God's purposes.

He recounts a case where a mother failed to inform her daughter about menstruation, leading to the girl being 'so frightened' and wanting to get rid of her apparel, illustrating the shame and fear that can result from a lack of parental sex education.

Every mother will be reminded of this. What a shame, as happened in a case I heard recently, a mother not doing her job in this area, and a daughter so frightened that she just wanted to get rid of anything of her apparel that was the first sign that she was becoming a young lady. What a terrible thing. The sense of guilt and fear and all the rest never should have been.

31:14 - 31:38 Read in full sermon

The point: Provide sex education proportionally, tailoring information to the child's specific questions, interest, and developmental stage, rather than following fixed age-based curricula.

Martin quotes Donald Tweedy again, this time on providing sexual information proportionally, in terms of questions that arise and understandable answers, to support the idea that formal sex education should be tailored to the child's readiness.

Let me quote again from Mr. Tweedy on this point. And I only quote him because he's got a Ph.D. and I had it all written out.

33:50 - 33:56 Read in full sermon

The point: Be technically accurate in your statements to children about sex, avoiding old wives' fables that can undermine their confidence in you.

He uses the example of public school sex education programs that assume fixed ages for knowing specific information (e.g., X for 4-6, Y for 7-9) to illustrate the fallacy of ignoring individual variation in maturation and interest, arguing for proportional teaching.

There is no fixed age when a child is ready to know this much. And then another age when he's ready to know this much. And then another age when he's ready to know this much. That's the one of the basic fallacies behind the planned sex education program that's going into the public schools and even into some of the so-called Christian schools.

35:12 - 35:30 Read in full sermon

The point: Be technically accurate in your statements to children about sex, avoiding old wives' fables that can undermine their confidence in you.

Martin uses the analogy of different children observing the same environment: some see nothing and ask about baseball, while others ask 45 questions. This illustrates that children's readiness for sex education varies, and teaching should be proportional to their questions and interest.

It would elicit questions, just a different state of mind. Some people can sit down in the midst of a thousand things to observe and that ought to provoke questions. And after sitting there for ten minutes, they say, what are you thinking? And they say, well, I wonder if the Mets are going to beat the Astros tonight.

35:49 - 36:06 Read in full sermon

The point: Be technically accurate in your statements to children about sex, avoiding old wives' fables that can undermine their confidence in you.

He gives the example of a parent telling a child that their hands will 'rot' or they'll 'lose their mind' if they touch certain body parts, to illustrate how technically inaccurate statements can undercut a child's confidence in future parental instruction.

The parent who sees the child touching parts of his body that he ought not to be and says, if you don't stop that, your hands will rot or you'll end up losing your mind, he may keep the child. He may keep the child from doing what he should not do, but he's also undercut all confidence in any future instruction that that parent can give. This is what I mean. Be technically accurate when you make statements to the children.

37:05 - 37:37 Read in full sermon