Sex Education of our Children

Sex Education is Primarily a Parental Responsibility

0:01 ...study around them and make them the point of reference for our question-and-answer time.

0:06 Proposition one is this. Sex education is primarily...

0:12 Now, don't you put the word exclusively. I didn't use it. And I've chosen my words carefully. Sex education is primarily a parental responsibility.

0:23 That's our first proposition. Now, to develop that. In our previous study, we saw that God has constituted the Christian parent God has constituted...

0:34 He has made the Christian parent to be to his children a prophet to teach them the way of God, a priest to bring them to God in intercession, and a king to impose upon them the rule of God while they're under your house. If any man rules on his own house, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Now, it's not a matter if we take this by faith or we ask for...

1:02 It's not a matter of the Lord to give it to us. It's a matter of whether or not we discharge this stewardship. He has constituted us prophets, priests, and kings to our children. If this is so, then as prophets to our children, it is our responsibility to declare to them the mind and will of God.

1:22 That is, God's interpretation of all of life. Deuteronomy chapter 6 is the basic passage that I used a few weeks ago in establishing this...

1:33 this principle. Let me just remind you of the content of that passage as we build upon it tonight. Deuteronomy chapter 6, verse 6. And these words which I command thee this day shall be upon thy heart, and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou stiddest in thy house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

2:03 Then he goes on to say, you'll even put them on the doorposts, have them continually before you and before your family, that any Israelite who looks out through his eyes into life views all of life through the screen of divine revelation. All of life is to be interpreted accurately, and the only way it is interpreted accurately is when it is interpreted according to divine revelation. For only God, who gave life, understands life. Therefore, he alone can interpret life to us.

2:40 Well then, one facet of life, and a very vital facet of life, is the whole matter of the creature's sex capacities and his sexuality. These are part of the creative order, and they can only be understood and rightly used within the circle of the will of God.

3:04 Now, if you, as a man, as a parent, have the main responsibility to declare to the child God's interpretation of life, and sex and sexuality is a vital part of life, then it's, by logical deduction, obvious that your responsibility and primarily your responsibility, it is yours primarily, to instruct the children in this facet of life. Now, you have a beautiful example of someone doing this in the book of Proverbs. And I think we should all remember that. We so often, in focusing upon the content of what the writer to Proverbs is saying, we miss the beautiful context in which he is saying it.

3:44 Notice the beginning of chapter 5 of Proverbs.

3:49 Here is a father speaking to his son. He says, My son, attend to my wisdom. Incline thine ear to my understanding that thou mayest preserve discretion and that thy lips may keep knowledge. And then, beginning with verse, verse 3, down to verse 14, he gives a warning.

4:12 He gives a warning against the abuse of his sexual powers. In very explicit, clear terms, he's warning his son about the ways of the wily woman. But the negative instruction is not all he gives his son. He starts in verse 15 with positive instruction.

4:32 He says, Now, my son, this is what you're to steer clear of. You're to steer clear of the fact that you're to steer clear of the foreign woman and her wily ways. And he warns him of the latter end of such a course of harlotry and whoredom. But then he says the positive way.

4:48 This is God's way of averting illicit sexual experience. Drink waters out of thine own cistern and running waters out of thine own well. Should thy springs be dispersed abroad in streams of water in the street, let them be for thyself alone and not for strangers would be. Let thy fountains, let them be blessed and rejoice in the life of thy youth as a loving hind and a pleasant dome.

5:13 Let her breast satisfy thee at all times and be thou ravished always with her love. And the Hebrew word is a powerful word. It means go astray. Be utterly ravished with her love.

5:28 He says to his son, Now, my son, I don't want you to infer when I warn you of the evils of illicit sex that this is something that you should not do. Something dirty, something filthy, no, no. God is pleased when dwelling with the wife he has given, you find such complete satisfaction in her sexually that you'll not want to go seeking satisfaction elsewhere. When anyone says the Bible is prudish and unrealistic about this matter of sexuality, they show their ignorance and tell me that they have never read their Bible.

6:04 For right in this context, he says, the ways of a man are before, before the eyes of the Lord. In other words, when you conduct yourself in this way, avoiding illicit sexual experience, enjoying to the full the God-ordained channels of sexual experience, with your life fully known before the eye of God, he is well pleased. Now, here's a father, you see, giving this very clear, practical, vividly sound interpretation of sex and sexuality to his own son. He does it.

6:38 Essentially the same thing in chapter 6, beginning with verse 20. My son, keep the commandment of thy father. And then he goes on after this general instruction to zero in on this whole area again. Verse 24.

6:51 To keep thee from the evil woman. Lust not after her beauty in thy heart, neither let her take thee with her eyelids, etc. Chapter 7, the whole chapter is dealing with the folly of a young man who abuses his sexuality. But how does it begin?

7:09 My son, keep my word. Now, if there were no other portion in scripture, this would suffice to underscore this principle that sex education is primarily a parental responsibility. Now, why did I use the word primarily? Well, because the church has a measure of responsibility insofar as the church, the history of the church, is to be a, a declaration of the whole counsel of God.

The Church's Secondary Responsibility in Sex Education

7:43 Part of the counsel of God deals with sex and sexuality, so whenever the subject comes up in the regular exposition of the word or by periodic topical treatments, there is a sense in which the church is responsible. Some of you will remember when I preached in 1 Thessalonians and came to chapter 4, the first eight verses deal very explicitly with this whole subject. Well, because that passage does, it does. It does.

8:09 It does. It does. It does. It does.

8:09 It does. It does. I dealt with it explicitly. But I do not make a habit of once a month bringing a sermon on what the Bible says about sex.

8:17 Now, some preachers are doing it to get an audience. You can get an audience anywhere, anytime in our day if you have the word sex in it. But this is certainly not pleasing to the Lord and it certainly is not doing what God commands us to do to preach the word, the whole word, the whole counsel of God. And in the whole area of premarital counseling, which I've been doing, which I believe is a pastoral responsibility, the church discharges some of its obligation in this area.

8:47 So the parents do not have an exclusive responsibility, but the primary responsibility for the sex education of our children lies at the feet of the parents.

Parental Sex Education is Both Informal and Formal

9:02 That's the first proposition. Proposition number two is this. Mental sex education is conducted in two fundamental ways. Now, you forgive me if I don't look at you and I look at my notes.

9:18 I find the longer I preach, the less confident I am of my extemporaneous statements and the more notes I use because the more I'm aware of the awesome responsibility of rightly representing God's mind, the more I want to know that I've thought things through. And so as I've pondered and sweat at my desk and come up with the right words and sometimes I sit for two or three minutes before I get the right word in the sentence, that's why I'm doing this. It's not that I'm afraid of your faces. Proposition number two, parental sex education is, and I use that word purposely, I had in there parental sex education ought to be, and I scratched it out, I said no, parental sex education is conducted in two fundamental ways.

10:04 Every parent is giving sex education to his children. The right time or the wrong time. For good or for evil, you are giving your children sex education. And so I never say a thing about it.

10:16 That's right. And you're educating them in that very fashion of your silence. So sex education is given. Parental sex education is conducted in two fundamental ways.

Informal Sex Education: The Climate of the Home

10:27 The first one is what I'm calling informal or indirect. That would be A under Proposition 2. The other is formal or direct sex education. First of all then, the informal or the indirect sex education which the parent gives to the child.

10:46 This is the education which is given by virtue of your whole attitude and your actions as husbands and wives. Just as with your attitudes and actions with respect to work, the Lord's day, discipline, church, keeping the speed law, respecting your government, in all of these areas, your total life pattern is constantly educating your children. Your children are absorbing those life patterns just as much as they breathe the air of that house. They are breathing the attitudes that you reflect in the total spectrum of life experience.

11:32 If you make no great distinction between the Lord's day and any other day of the week, your children are learning that the Lord's day is not a special day. See? If you show disrespect for speed law, for governmental regulations, honesty on the terms of your income tax, you're telling your kids civil law is not a vital thing and obedience thereto is no real part of Christian experience and Christian duty. In the same way, your attitude, your basic, honest, gut-level attitude toward the whole matter of sex and sexuality is creating a climate which the children are breathing and this is the climate and this is the climate and this is the climate and this is the climate and this in turn becomes a tremendously powerful educational factor. God recognizes this principle everywhere and this is why he continually admonishes people who profess the truth with the lips to constantly demonstrate the truth with the life. Several classic examples, 1 Timothy 4.12, he says to Timothy, let no man despise thy youth but be thou an ensample of the believer in love and faith and purity, et cetera.

12:51 Same thing in Titus 2, 7 and 8. In all things, showing thyself a pattern, a cupop, a type of good works. Titus, it's not enough that you tell people that they must be careful to maintain good works. You yourself must be the living embodiment of what good works are.

13:10 You must reflect in your life what you are seeking to pronounce in your teaching.

13:19 Many things, good or bad, right or wrong, true or false, are more caught by the climate of the home than they are taught by the formal instruction of the home or the church. May I repeat that? Many things, sex, education included, good or bad, right or wrong, true or false, are more caught by the climate of the home than taught by the formal instruction of the home or of the church. So this matter of our informal education as parents in this area is a most vital issue.

13:59 I'm not just touching on it for filler until I come to the real meaty issues. Not at all. I put it first because in many ways it is first in importance.

Prerequisites for Correct Informal Teaching: Scriptural Concept and Practical Subjection

14:11 All right? What are the prerequisites for correct teaching in this area? If you are to teach your children the biblical concepts of sex and sexuality, in your informal teaching, by the general influence of your life, what does this require of you if you are to have your teacher's certificate? May I suggest two things.

14:35 You must first of all be sure that you yourself have a scriptural concept of your own sexuality.

14:43 Do you think biblically about sex and sexual roles as a husband, as a wife? Do you have a biblically framed idea of sexual roles? Of the nature, the function, the purity, the sanctity, the abuse of your sexuality? Now I'm not asking if you have some deep convictions you may have picked up along the way.

15:06 I'm asking you when it comes to this whole matter of your sexuality, is that thing which sits in there and you all have one, has it been marinated in the word God? Now just try to picture your brain being taken out of your body and your mind and your mind being taken out of your body and your mind and your mind. And the word of God being fluid and it's laid in there long enough until it's marinated, you see? And has the very flavor of scripture permeated your head and then of course gotten down into your heart and your affection with regard to your sexuality?

15:46 Or, have you absorbed the attitudes that perhaps your own mom and dad imposed upon you? The attitudes that some distasteful experiences have imposed upon you? The attitudes that society imposed upon you? Are you sure as you sit there tonight as a parent that your own thinking with regard to sex and sexuality is in some measure an accurate reflection of the thinking of the Bible?

16:15 Is it true that the blessed man is he who meditates in the law of God day and night? Yes, Psalm 1, you'd all agree to that. Well, the true blessedness in the area of one's sexuality comes in the same way the true blessedness comes in any area as the person meditates in the law of God day and night. That is, when his thinking about any facet of life is a reflection of the teaching of the word of God.

16:48 If you don't have this difficult concept of sex and sexuality as a part of your own being, how can you convey the same to your children? Unless to ourselves, as with anything, we'll always miss the Biblical mark. We'll either go off here, influenced by crudishness of the past and by unbiblical views based in heathen philosophy into what I said in my series on 1 Thessalonians is an unscriptural asceticism that is a lowering of the dignity, the purity, and the, in many ways, the moral of life. In many cases, I think it's an accurate word, the centrality of the sexual relationship in the marriage union and in the life of a husband and wife, or we'll be influenced by our own society into what's called today the pop hedonism. That is the philosophy that enjoyment and the titillation of physical senses is the end and the goal of all marriage. We'll not end up over here in asceticism nor in hedonism, but we will in some measure have restored to us through the redemptive power of Christ a view and an experience of our sexuality that will cause God to look upon it and say as he did of Adam and Eve in that original

18:17 creation, behold, it was very good. Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefined. You and I are to conduct our informal or indirect teaching of our children in this area is that we ourselves have a scriptural concept of our own sexuality and then secondly and this flows out of it, we must have a practical subjection to and expression of those biblical concepts. They must not only be resident in the mind but they must in some measure be operative in our life.

18:59 Our Lord said, if ye know these things blessed are ye if ye do them. So there must be this practical subjection to and expression of the biblical concept. Are you working out that word acceptable and perfect will of God in the area of your sexuality? So then your natural actions and reactions will evidence this with relationship to your children.

19:30 And with a great gift to our children. And I will say that this is a very important lesson to all of us at church. The most important thing is to be respectful of our children. And we should be respectful and respectful of our children.

19:56 And we must be respectful of our children. We must be respectful of our children. And we must be respectful to that being clutched in the arms. Maybe even those times when you've got to clutch it from a distance because there's another little one on the way.

20:18 What a hallowed memory for a child to have. I was so tickled the other day when Joel said something, and we've been kidding him about it. He said, he said, oh, you two, you're always smooching. I said, what do you mean we're always smooching?

20:30 He said, it's all right for you to come home and you can hug your mommy, but when I do it, then it's smooching. He said, how come? And so we were having a good time just joshing about this, but it tickled us, though, that in which there was this kind of openness and freedom and a feeling at home in a situation where a husband and wife were obviously at home with one another. Now, I've just singled out that as one little thing, expressive of the principle, where there is a practical subjection to and expression of this biblical concept of our sex and sexuality and the delight that a husband and wife will have not only in each other, each person generally, but in those limited expressions of affection that are perfectly proper and right in the presence of the children, this goes a great way toward rightly conditioning their mind. So, in summary and conclusion, let me say, under Proposition 2, as with all the other aspects of our parental responsibility, there is no shortcut, no gimmick to adequately equip us for our role as parents. The price of adequate parental influence, in this area, is that of personal sanctification in the same area.

21:48 Wouldn't it be wonderful if it was just a little book on 10 of these lessons, how to teach your children about sex, and then say we'd read the little book and go, like, 10 of these lessons on how to written, no? There is no form or aspect of the Christian life which is not ultimately dependent upon the believer's relationship to his Lord and his present tense abandonment to and appropriation of the ministry of the Holy Spirit in his life. And so we're shut up again. Everywhere we turn in this whole series, you see, we're pressed back to where we started, the key to everything is the individual relationship to God.

Formal Sex Education: Biblical, Occasional, Proportional, and Accurate

22:25 And you can't get around it. All right? So much for Proposition 2. We've had two propositions so far.

22:32 Number one, sex education is primarily the responsibility of the Christian home. Secondly, parental sex education. Parental sex education is given in two ways, formal, informal, and then formally.

22:52 Now, we come to this whole matter of the formal. That's not the third proposition. That's B under Proposition 2. I'm sorry.

23:01 I got lost in my notes here. All right? This is B, informal, the prerequisite, now formal. And I want to make one, two, three, four statements about this formal sex education and then look at three prerequisites for that kind of education.

23:21 All right? Number one, our formal sex education or our direct sex education of the children should be, first of all, biblical. Whenever and wherever we are dealing with any facet of this subject, it should be, wherever possible, from an open Bible.

23:44 How beautiful when sitting with a child, to take them to Genesis 1 and 2 and read the account of creation and show how God made the male and female. Whose idea was this, that Adam was not complete as a male? It was God's idea. God said, look, Adam, you're not complete.

24:01 It's not good for you to be alone. And I'll make someone answering to your needs. And so he didn't bring to Adam an asexual creature. He brought to Adam a woman, one who would compliment him.

24:14 And then God looks upon, all of this, and sees what he's made, and behold, it is very, very good. And some of the most fundamental principles that we can teach our children from an open Bible regarding this whole matter of sex and sexuality is that God made us this way. God is pleased that we are this way. God gives us directions how to conduct ourselves in this area of life that we might please him and find the joy that he intended we should know when he was born.

24:46 He made us. I want to quote from an excellent little book, which I highly recommend. I wouldn't embrace every sentence in it, of Sex and Saints by Donald Tweedy, a Christian psychotherapist who deals with sex. And he's trying to grapple with a biblical philosophy of sex and sexuality.

25:06 And he says, under this matter of the fact that our teaching in this area should be biblical, several very cogent statements, let me read them. The theology of sex refers to the concepts and commandments of the scriptures or at least those which are readily derived from the reading of the Old and the New Testaments. With regard to sex, the Bible is very realistic. One gets no attitude of Victorian prudery or shamefacedness in the discussion of sexuality.

25:41 On the contrary, sex is presented in an extremely forthright manner. This is a bit startling to one who reads the Bible for the first time and expects it to be the origin of the common Christian attitude of extreme reticence in discussing sexuality. Then he says further on page 73 of his book in a little epilogue, it seems to me that the biblical message concerning sex is a realistic combination of one, a positive presentation of the purpose and potentiality of one's sexuality and two, two straightforward admonitions concerning the consequences of its perversion. Isn't that a great statement? What does the Bible teach about sex? It teaches a positive presentation of the purpose and potentiality of one's sexuality, and on the other hand, a straightforward warning concerning the consequences, and I would add the word, the nature of its perversions. And so we as parents should be acquainted with those portions of Scripture which most clearly deal with it. And if

26:54 we have our own minds tempted by biblical truth, we'll know where those passages are. Perhaps it would be a bit embarrassing if I asked you tonight, what are the pivotal passages in Scripture that set forth in the most succinct and clear way the biblical philosophy of sex? And I would say, of sex and sexuality. What are the passages that you meditate upon as you seek to know and to do the good and acceptable and perfect will of God in this area? Some of you might say, well, I never thought that God wanted me to take any serious consideration of what the Scripture says. Well, how can we cut out this vital area of our lives and put it out in a no-man's land, undisciplined by constant meditation through Scripture? We'll not be that blessed man, that blessed woman who meditates in the law of God day and night. And so our formal or direct sex education to our children should be, first of all, biblical.

27:52 By word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my pathway. Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed thereto according to thy word. Second thing, it should be occasional. That is, it should be triggered by the occasion which demands some formal instruction. Unless your children are dumb, and I don't mean stupid, I mean dumb, they don't have the proper use of the speech apparatus. They can't convey to you in verbal symbols what they're thinking. They inevitably will ask questions that fall into the orbit of the whole subject of sex and sexuality. This is one of the ways that God intends they should be acquainted with these basic

28:40 things. They notice that money gets bigger when they're providing the best possible out of the Western world. When we talk about the law of God, the law of marriage, the law of marriage is the practice of a mother who is willing to do whatever she needs, to do whatever she needs. All the time we speak about it, we get so frustrated. We have to understand that that's not the right word. You're saying, by example, that we're equal to our children. But I'm not I'm not saying stop the child and you seek to admonish the child about the evils of laziness and the honorableness of disciplined, hearty endeavor, and you'll quote a verse like, whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might as unto the Lord. You'll quote that verse in Proverbs, he becometh poor that worketh with a slack hand, but the hand of the diligent maketh rich.

29:37 So likewise, when the child asks those inevitable questions, where do babies come from, you have a wonderful opportunity to tell him. A little bit later, you tell them that God's made a special place. And then when they want to ask, and they do, how does the baby get started in Monday? What are you going to do, just run out of the house and hope that the Lord will come?

29:58 I've seen some people just so absolutely flustered when questions like that are answered.

30:05 You can almost hear them say in the words of one of the Old Testament men, that which I have dreaded has come upon me. My child has asked the inevitable question. No, no, no, no. These are wonderful opportunities, and the parent who sees his tremendous privilege in the context of the love and warmth of the home, where alone sex has its true perspective in the security of the bonds of the love of the home, and the intimacy of the family relationship, to take those questions as an opportunity to discharge your glorious privilege in this area of responsibility to your children.

30:44 Then, not only is it occasional in terms of their questions, but in your observation of their development. When you see the child approaching puberty, what a shame for any girl to begin her menstrual cycle uninformed. Not having had the privilege of having a mother sit down and talk with her and tell her what's going to happen in her body, and this wonderful process that's about to begin to unfold, a process that she'll be reminded of. Every mother will be reminded of this.

31:14 Every mother will be reminded of this. What a shame, as happened in a case I heard recently, a mother not doing her job in this area, and a daughter so frightened that she just wanted to get rid of anything of her apparel that was the first sign that she was becoming a young lady. What a terrible thing. The sense of guilt and fear and all the rest never should have been.

31:38 A parent who sees the child approaching the age of puberty ought to have the privilege, and has the privilege, and ought to capture it, of sitting down with that young lady. Shame on the parent who's not explained to a fellow what's happening in his body, and some of the evidences that a boy will have that he is approaching that time when he's maturing physically. When they then approach the dating age, here's the time for mom and dad to sit down with that fellow and with that girl and explain to them that when they're in the presence of that young man or that young woman. They're going to get a nice warm feeling, and they're going to want to hold their hand, and they're going to want to kiss them, and tell them what this feeling is, and what it is in the purpose of God, and what it can be in the hand of the devil. I pity again the child that goes out into pairing off with others in a dating relationship who hasn't had parents who sat down and explained to them what those tremendous strivings and powers are that suddenly are awakened within them. And then as they advance to the stage of courting, it's time to talk with them again. And when a young lady's approaching marriage, who better to tell that young woman the beauty and the privilege of her role in sexuality than the mother, who herself has displayed

33:01 before this daughter a tremendous sense of gratitude for her role as a wife and as a mother, who has earned the right, more than that mother, to sit down and talk with that daughter. And yet, how often is this done? How often is this done? It's a shame, especially when we who claim to be able to interpret this in the light of the word of God and have the only answer to it.

33:28 What a privilege is ours. And so, I suggest it should be not only biblical, but occasional. Occasion by their questions, on the one hand, and occasion by our observation of their development, on the other hand. Then, thirdly, formal sex education of our children.

33:46 Should be proportional.

33:50 Let me quote again from Mr. Tweedy on this point. And I only quote him because he's got a Ph.D. and I had it all written out.

33:56 And then I looked at his book and heard he said it. But I'll add a little academic respectability by quoting him. All right? Parents should provide children with sexual information in terms of the questions that arise.

34:09 Forthright answers, understandable to the child, are usually sufficient. Children should be told, rather specifically, the changes. and feelings to expect in the period of sexual maturation. It's important that simple concepts are used for younger children.

34:27 Technical language should be avoided. Usually, the inevitable question of where babies come from is satisfyingly answered by responses saying that daddy puts a seed in mommy's tummy. Children who receive natural, unembarrassed answers to their sexual questions will obtain the information they want. And this will help them.

34:48 Parents should develop healthy attitudes toward their sexuality. In any case, they'll learn about sex. The parents will have to decide whether it's learned in a context of misinformation and gutter language or in a context which presents sex as a gift of God's grace. And this is why I say it should be proportionate.

35:12 There is no fixed age when a child is ready to know this much. And then another age when he's ready to know this much. And then another age when he's ready to know this much. That's the one of the basic fallacies behind the planned sex education program that's going into the public schools and even into some of the so-called Christian schools.

35:30 It assumes that a child of age four to six is ready to know X. And from seven to nine, he's ready to know Y. And from 10 to 12, he's ready to know Z. But this is a denial of the great variety that there is in the maturation process, in the circumstances.

35:49 It would elicit questions, just a different state of mind. Some people can sit down in the midst of a thousand things to observe and that ought to provoke questions. And after sitting there for ten minutes, they say, what are you thinking? And they say, well, I wonder if the Mets are going to beat the Astros tonight.

36:06 I mean, they just don't see anything. Their minds run down a very narrow channel. Other people set them down in the same thing for 30 seconds and they say, what are you thinking? And they'll come up with 45 questions all based upon what they've observed.

36:18 Well, some kids are that. They couldn't care less about where babies come from. So if they're not asking questions, why answer them? If they're not scratching, they're not itching, why scratch?

36:29 So our teaching must be proportional then, not only occasional, but proportionate in terms of the interest and development of each child. And this will differ from child to child, so you cannot have any fixed rules. Then the fourth thing I want to say about our formal education of our children is, it should be technically accurate. By that I mean, beware of old wives' fables that will undercut their confidence in you as a sex educator.

37:05 The parent who sees the child touching parts of his body that he ought not to be and says, if you don't stop that, your hands will rot or you'll end up losing your mind, he may keep the child. He may keep the child from doing what he should not do, but he's also undercut all confidence in any future instruction that that parent can give. This is what I mean. Be technically accurate when you make statements to the children.

37:38 Make sure that if these questions are such that they demand technical answers, that you give accurate answers.

Prerequisites for Formal Sex Education: Communication, Knowledge, and Tools

37:47 You don't need to make budding gynecologists out of seven to nine-year-olds, but if a seven to nine-year-old asks a question which demands a technically accurate answer, let's make sure we give the same, though we may do it in non-technical terms. Well, if these four things should characterize our formal or direct sex education in the home, biblical, occasional, proportional, and technically accurate, what are the prerequisites then if we're to be qualified to give this kind of sex education? Well, let me suggest three. Number one, we must first of all establish strong lines of communication at every other level. To state it the way I have written it, strong lines of communication must be previously established.

38:45 Any area where a parent will feel awkward in talking over things with the child or a child will feel awkward with the parent, it is in this area. And they're not going to ventilate with you, and you're not going to be able to ventilate with them unless your lines of communication are cemented in the overall relationship which you have with your children. And this is one of the beauties and one of the rare privileges of the parent who under God has established good lines of communication with the child on a general basis. Then when he has a question about this, he's as free to ask that as he asks how come there's noise when it rains.

39:30 And where does the thunder come from? And all these other questions that children will ask. Why isn't it so many parents fail as sex educators down here, say, from age ten right through to the time the person leaves the house and gets established in his own home? May I suggest it's because the lines of communication in every other area in this age bracket have been absolutely lost, or they never were attained in the first place.

40:02 You can't have the luxury of living in your own little world, uninvolved with your children, and then suddenly you say, hey, you know, they're about getting to the age where I have to tell them about the birds and bees. Hey, Johnny, come on in. Pop's going to talk to you. Well, you'd do far better sending them to the preacher, give them a book.

40:22 Because, you see, it's a whole context in which there's not going to be the kind of rapport which makes this kind of instruction natural and gives them confidence in the instruction you give. So. Well, let me emphasize this as one of the most essential prerequisites for formal or direct sex education of your children, namely that you establish strong lines of communication with your children previous to an attempt to communicate here. Secondly, you must have accurate knowledge of human sexuality, and by accurate knowledge I mean two things.

40:58 I'm underscoring something I said before.

41:02 You must have knowledge that is biblical. Move yourself. You must be thinking and talking biblically, and wherever anything you say touches anatomy or physiology, that is the structure of the body, the composition of the body, the functions of the body, you must be speaking according to task. And so one would be biblical, the other would be, again, this matter of technical.

41:27 It may mean that you as a parent ought to read a couple of good books, and we'll have some of these in our library available to you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

41:34 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

41:35 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

41:35 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

41:36 If you are to convey actively to your children, then you must be conveying biblically and with technical accuracy. And then thirdly, you must have the right tools to help you in this task. Or I should say you must have the right tools. If you have your Bible, and you're living in the light of the Bible, and that's all you had available to you, that's all that would be necessary.

41:59 But if God has put other means at our disposal, I believe he expects us to use them. And he's given teachers for the profit of his church. And if we are his people, part of his church, and teachers have opened up the word in these areas, then God expects us to profit from them. May I suggest tonight several books that I think ought to be household items where there are parents, and especially at different stages in your working with your children.

Recommended Resource: Susie's Baby by Margaret Clarkson

42:27 Perhaps the best introduction to the whole matter of human sexuality from a biblical standpoint that I've ever seen, barring one other little book. And I saw it in New Hampshire years ago, and I've never been able to put my fingers on it since. It's a book called Susie's Baby. Let me read from the inside of the cover, and this will tell you what this book is about.

42:49 This is a word from the author to parents and teachers. And the author, by the way, Margaret Clarkson, a Christian teacher with 25 years of experience with her third and fourth graders, and all the questions they asked and how she handled them forms the background of this woman's qualifications for the book. But this...

43:08 This is what she says. This story, born of genuine and honest experience with hundreds of young, inquiring minds, is a sincere attempt to help parents, teachers, and other children's workers to meet the first serious questions from their youngsters about the origin of life. There's a purpose. To confront the first serious questions coming from children about the origin of life.

43:32 The questions answered in this book may be asked by children who are anywhere from 7 or 8 to 13 or 14. Since young folks vary widely as to the age at which full information of the facts of life is needed and sought, it is suggested that parents of young families read and discuss this book well in advance of any apparent need, and so be ready to use it as soon as the individual requirements of their children become evident. Parents wish to be the first persons to discuss the holy mysteries of life with their youngsters, but they may...

44:08 They may be somewhat at a loss as to how to get started. Often parents are aware of the child's need, but the child asks no leading questions, even though he's of an age when such things are likely to be talked about freely among his friends. This forthright and charming little tale provides an ideal opening. Although this book is written and illustrated in such a way that it may be given to children to read for themselves, she goes on to say it would be better if parents read it with them.

44:36 Then she says this, and this I think is significant. She says, While this book answers fully and frankly all the child's questions as to how he has originated, it makes no attempt to deal with the deeper values of sex or the role of sex in the child's future adult life. Of the many hundreds of children whose questions form the basis of this book, not one seemed to display any interest in sex other than to discover the answer to his question, where did I come from? The many other important aspects of sex education seem to arise at a later stage and call for separate and quite different treatment.

45:19 Now again, this is one of the fallacies of the sex education program as it's outlined in the public schools, giving the impression that children ought to know things that should be reserved for engaged couples back when they're about ten years of age.

Conclusion

45:35 And that was the voice of Dr. Albert N. Martin with Message 2.0.

45:39 On his series, The Family.