Training Children

The point: Proclaim God's directives for family living based on the basic teaching of Holy Scripture, even without training in secular fields like psychiatry or psychology.

Martin uses rationalism, traditionalism, and pragmatism as negative examples of approaches to family living, contrasting them with scripturalism as the only valid approach.

And the first thing we did last week was to set out the manner in which we were going to approach this subject of family living. And I said, first of all, there were three things that were not going to characterize our approach. We are not going to take the approach of rationalism, that is, making our minds the final bar of judgment, the standard of what is right and wrong. Nor were we going to take the position of traditionalism, that simply said, well, whatever has been done in American culture, we'll continue to do it.

0:09 - 0:42 Read in full sermon

The point: Prioritize understanding great, sweeping biblical concepts before grappling with specific practical problems in family living.

The analogy of God sending rain upon the just and unjust is used to explain how some non-believers experience benefits of God's truth through common grace, even without conscious allegiance to Him.

that it can attain to its God-intended ideal. And why is it that there is such tremendous problems in our day, in this direction and in this direction? It's simply another expression of the basic, basic principle that when man disregards his relationship to his God, he just brings himself into an ever-increasing net of self-destruction. Occasionally, in what we call common grace, where men don't consciously recognize their allegiance to God, they do not consciously recognize the precepts of God, nonetheless, in common grace, they share some of the benefits of that relationship, of that revelat...

5:21 - 6:04 Read in full sermon

The point: Never confuse identity as creatures in God's image with identity and responsibility within specific structural relationships (e.g., husband-wife, parent-child).

The analogy of societal relationships (rulers/governors and subjects/followers) is used to explain how, despite equality in dignity, a structure of order exists, paralleling the husband-wife relationship.

He hath made of one blood, and he hath made of another. We read in Acts 17. However, when you put these people together in what we call a societal relationship, you have those whom God appoints to be rulers and governors, and others then who are to be subjects and what? Followers.

8:02 - 8:20 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin reviews the series' commitment to scripturalism over rationalism, traditionalism, or pragmatism, and the goal of grasping biblical principles. He then summarizes the…

Martin quotes Lenski's commentary on Ephesians 5, summarizing how sin disturbed the ideal marital relationship and how Christianity restores the divine order, addressing false views of emancipation.

He loved it purposefully, that he might do something with it. He had a purpose in his love. He loved it absolutely, even unto the giving of himself. Well, we closed on that note last week, and just as a beautiful summary, in a very short way, let me read from the new set of commentaries that I just got from England as the Banner of Truth's presentation to me in appreciation for my ministry at the Leicester Conference.

13:47 - 14:15 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: After a brief Q&A, Martin transitions to the parent-child relationship, highlighting the child as a beautiful, mysterious fusion of husband and wife, a permanent stamp of their…

Martin uses the child as a physical manifestation of the 'one flesh' union, a permanent fusion of mama and papa, even when parents divorce, illustrating the indissoluble nature of their bond.

To be the kind of companion you are, to be undistracted by what these little critters demand of you. Huh? And this is what complicates it, because, you see, the same person who's got to fulfill all these responsibilities that we've looked at in the husband-wife relationship, then comes the fruit of their union, God's, as it were, official stamp of the truth that the two shall be one, when they hold in their arms that new thing that is both mama and papa together. That's the beauty of this thing.

17:10 - 17:43 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: After a brief Q&A, Martin transitions to the parent-child relationship, highlighting the child as a beautiful, mysterious fusion of husband and wife, a permanent stamp of their…

Martin shares a personal anecdote of looking at his sleeping daughter, Beth, and being gripped by the wonder that she is 'my wife. That's me. But it's Beth, stamped for eternity, indicating that the two shall be one.'

No, you can't, you see. And the very way God has ordained that children should come as the fruit of that union is God saying to every parent, when they hold the little one in their arms, see how one, much one you are, look at the fruit of your one. And as I was taking a nap last Sunday afternoon with Beth, and I woke up before she did, I just laid down, I looked at her with this thought going through my mind, and I think I was gripped in a new way with the marvel and the wonder of this. I said, what is that little creature there?

18:24 - 18:53 Read in full sermon

The point: Seek to discover what God has made you as a parent with reference to your children, rather than acting as a 'consensus administrator' or 'horn of plenty.'

Martin uses the metaphor of a 'little consensus administrator' to describe parents who let their children's likes and dislikes dictate home order, contrasting it with God's intended parental role.

Namely, discovering what God has made me with reference to my children. This is why there is such wholesale confusion and anarchy and downright mess in our homes today, even some of the best of our so-called Christian homes. It's because parents do not know what has God made me by making me a mama and a papa. Am I to be a little consensus administrator?

20:10 - 20:45 Read in full sermon

The point: Seek to discover what God has made you as a parent with reference to your children, rather than acting as a 'consensus administrator' or 'horn of plenty.'

Martin uses the metaphor of a 'glorified horn of plenty' to describe parents who simply provide whatever the child needs or wants, without exercising authority or guidance.

That is? I come to my children and find out their likes and dislikes, and on the basis of that, I seek to order the home to conform to what they want? Well, that's what a lot of people think God has constituted them, little consensus administrators. Others think that God has constituted them a sort of a glorified, what would I call it, just a glorified horn of plenty.

20:45 - 21:14 Read in full sermon

Driving home: Parents are, by the constitution of things, in an important sense, mediators between God and their children for a time. What you give them, they receive. What you tell them, they believe. It is a sweet employment and an …

Martin quotes Stephen Perry, who describes parents as 'mediators between God and their children for a time,' bearing up their needs to God and bringing down God's will to them.

As a mediator, he is a prophet, a priest, and a king. Now, in the same way, but without this aspect that we've said is exclusively his, God has constituted the parents, little mediators. He is a mediator in that home with reference to these children. Let me read a statement by a writer of bygone days in which he says, quoting from Stephen Perry, Life Lessons from the Book of Proverbs, Parents are, by the constitution of things, in an important sense, mediators between God and their children for a time. What you give them, they receive. What you tell them, they believe. It is a sweet employment...

22:58 - 24:04 Read in full sermon

The point: Be prepared to assume your mediatorial role as a king, administering the rule of God in your home without trembling at children's reactions.

Martin uses the analogy of a king trembling at his subjects' grumbling to illustrate the unworthiness of parents who are afraid to assume their kingly rule over their children.

He said, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. He said, I will administer in my home the rule of God. Oh, that God would get this through to us. If there's anything that gets me down right, it's probably carnally mad.

34:16 - 34:37 Read in full sermon

The point: Cultivate a vital relationship with Christ as your prophet, priest, and king to be effective in these roles for your children.

Martin references Revelation, stating that Jesus Christ has made believers 'kings and priests unto our God,' extending this concept to the domestic role of parents.

Now I'm not saying this specific law is enforced today any more than the command if someone's taken in adultery, they should be stoned. But God was teaching lessons here to put his fear into the hearts of men. And I'm only using the passages to enforce this principle that God has constituted parents in the role of kings to administer the rule of God in the whole. Now it doesn't say that it's only the Christian who has attained to a degree of great maturity and balanced piety whom God says now as a promotion for your present degree of sanctification, I will now constitute you a prophet, priest,...

43:02 - 44:15 Read in full sermon

The point: Make the object of all parental influence to see children moved into 'the way that they should go,' which is God's plan for the totality of their lives.

The analogy of someone being 'trained for a job' is used to illustrate that parental training is a long-range, patient process involving development and example, not a quick fix.

Now, how do you do that? It's by training. Training brings in the whole concept of process. Training brings in the whole concept of development, the concept of patience, of example.

52:16 - 52:33 Read in full sermon

The point: Do not allow children to think that any area of life is not touched upon by the Word of God; seek to exclude influences contrary to God's revealed will.

Martin quotes Stephen Perry, who warns parents that they must make home life more attractive than street life, or they should not wonder at the ruin of their children, emphasizing the family's powerful influence.

They must either make the home life and the home lessons, the home love and the home pleasures more attractive, more winning than the street life, the street lessons and the street friendships and the street amusements, or else they need not wonder at the ruin of their sons and daughters. God has given to parents a mighty instrument for good in the family relationship, and if they will not avail themselves of its means, they cannot blame Providence when their children fall beneath the power of vice. Can young men or young women be blamed for the neglect of their paternal instruction or their d...

60:19 - 61:24 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin emphasizes the staggering magnitude of the parental task: preparing children to establish their own God-honoring homes and roles in society. He laments the heartbreaking…

Martin wishes listeners could be a pastor for a month to see the 'twisted adults' who are totally inadequate for relationships because they were not equipped by parental influence.

And you see, what you and I are doing as parents, we are inevitably, by the sheer force of the succession of day upon day, month upon month, year upon year, and by the sheer natural laws of physical development, we are hastening to the time when we're going to push the children out of this circle and they're going to establish their own. But are we pushing them out prepared to establish that circle? I wish I could let you be a pastor for a month. And you see the twisted adults that come, who find themselves totally inadequate for this relationship even though they've entered it.

61:24 - 62:04 Read in full sermon

The point: Use occasions of discipline to communicate spiritual truths, helping children understand their sinful hearts and the need for prayer.

Jesus girding a towel and washing his disciples' feet is used as an example of how powerful spiritual lessons can be taught informally, triggered by the occasion of the moment.

So he girds a towel around them and picks up a basin and they say, what in the world is he doing? I'll tell you what he's doing. He's preaching the most powerful sermon. And you see the parent who has created, created a climate of openness about spiritual things will seize the opportunities that arise throughout the day to impress spiritual lessons upon the children.

68:04 - 68:24 Read in full sermon

The point: If appointing substitutes for child development (e.g., Christian education), ensure they closely reflect biblical views.

Martin uses the analogy of insulting his wife by calling a beautiful meal 'it' to illustrate how calling creation 'nature' is an insult to God, who made it.

If I were developing the child's mind exclusively in the home and I were seeking to get him to appreciate the beauty of the world about him would I tell him this is nature and that's nature? Of course not. I wouldn't insult God that way. Any more than when a beautiful meal is fixed I'd say well it put it on the table.

75:59 - 76:18 Read in full sermon

The point: If appointing substitutes for child development (e.g., Christian education), ensure they closely reflect biblical views.

Martin shares an anecdote about his son, Joe, reacting to a Walt Disney nature film by saying 'Daddy, that's an insult to God. God did it,' illustrating the fruit of spiritual training.

And I was just tickled pink when Joe jumped off the couch almost a few weeks ago. We were watching a Walt Disney nature film and the narrator kept saying nature, nature, nature and he said to me Daddy. He said that's an insult to God. God did it.

76:31 - 76:44 Read in full sermon

The point: If appointing substitutes for child development (e.g., Christian education), ensure they closely reflect biblical views.

Martin recounts someone suggesting his son might just be imitating his prayer, to which he implies that imitation is a starting point, hoping it will become genuine participation.

At least he's got in his noggin. Maybe someday God will get in his heart. Someone said to me the other day about you know he said I heard your son pray and he said I'm afraid he may be just imitating you. I didn't say it at the time but I felt like saying well who do you expect him to imitate?

76:54 - 77:10 Read in full sermon

The point: Make biblical standards so winsome that children cannot help but see the difference between a God-honoring home and worldly alternatives.

Martin describes the extreme immorality in Corinth, where temple harlots were part of worship, to argue that the current moral decline is not fundamentally new but a return to historical pagan conditions.

I'd say maybe here in Western culture and in America it's relatively new for us but we've had an unusual situation. The rest of the world for almost what we would say the rest of the history of the church we look at the early church. Church is planted in a city like Corinth where immorality was not just something people did in the parking lot of the drive-in movie but it was a part of their very worship. You had your temple harlots and when the husband goes up to worship part of his worship is going aside with the temple priestess.

77:57 - 78:28 Read in full sermon

The point: Make biblical standards so winsome that children cannot help but see the difference between a God-honoring home and worldly alternatives.

Martin shares the example of his three sisters, who, despite having RN degrees and good salaries, chose to prioritize raising families after their husbands returned from Vietnam, reflecting patterns stamped in their home.

This is where the faith comes in in the life of a Christian. You see all of this must be carried out not only under the direction of God but in confidence that God is going to bless our ministry as prophets, priests and kings. And we may not see all the fruit of it immediately. I think of my own family and I I was the second oldest you see and I practically was like a I was a big brother but almost old enough to be father to some of my brothers and sisters.

79:43 - 80:08 Read in full sermon

The point: When children leave the home and make choices contrary to biblical teaching, continue to be a priest for them, praying that God will bring back the things they heard and knew.

Martin shares the personal story of his unconverted brother, who is a 'grief' to his parents, illustrating that even faithful parenting does not guarantee conversion, and parents must ultimately leave the issue with God.

I don't mean prudishness. So they look upon the body as sinful. And it's taught by the example, again, of the parents, you see. All right, another question. Yeah, and then you just have to keep being a priest and hold on to God for them. You still can't be a prophet and the king to them once they leave the circle, but you can still be a priest and pray that God will bring back the things they heard. God will bring back the things they knew, and that God in mercy would even save the unsaved partner of that relationship. But this is all you can do as parents. When you've done all before God that...

82:21 - 83:18 Read in full sermon