When Silence is Sin

Driving home: The tongue became sinfully active and also sinfully inactive.

Martin had been listening to CDs of Ronald Reagan -- famously called 'the great communicator' -- and uses him as a foil to establish that only God deserves the title 'perfect communicator.' Many preachers could learn from Reagan, but Reagan never rose to perfection.

Amen. In that climate, God himself, was the perfect communicator. In recent days, I've been listening to some CDs made available when you renewed your world subscription, CDs of vast president Ronald Reagan, and he was called the great communicator, and I agree with that assessment. I think many preachers could learn much by listening to those CDs.

3:06 - 3:34 Read in full sermon

Driving home: The tongue became sinfully active and also sinfully inactive.

Martin draws a triangle with God at the apex, Adam and Eve at the base angles, and perfect communication flowing along all three sides -- a visual model of the pre-Fall communicating climate that was shattered by the Fall.

and no less was made known than what was essential to fulfill their role in God's world. So get the picture of this triangle of perfect communication, God is at the apex, here's Adam and here is Eve. And between Adam and God there is perfect communication, between Eve and God there is perfect communication, and between Adam and Eve there is perfect communication. And so the setting of the communicating context is part of that which when God looked upon it, He assessed it,

4:52 - 5:35 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin states his thesis -- that there are times when the tongue ought to speak but does not -- using the vivid image of four captains unlocking the door of the mouth while…

Martin imagines four captains standing sentinel at the door of the mouth. Each places his key in his lock, withdraws the deadbolt, and the door ought to swing open and release righteous speech -- but alas, though the door is unlocked, nothing comes forth.

In other words, there are times when the four captains who stand outside as God's sentinel on the door of the mouth, each one has placed his key in his proper lock, has withdrawn the deadbolt, and the door ought to swing open so that out of it will come righteous speech. But alas, though each captain has turned his lock and the door should swing open, nothing comes out. Though it would be righteous and right for something to come out, nothing comes forth from that unlocked door. And so if you take away nothing else,

8:49 - 9:33 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin expounds the positive side of Ephesians 4:29 -- that speech must build up, be appropriate to real need, and convey grace -- arguing that violating this positive imperative…

Martin unpacks the Greek present imperative of Ephesians 4:29 -- 'at no time, under any circumstances' is corrupt speech permitted -- and then shows this same absolute force applies to the positive imperative to speak edifying words.

That's an imperative, a present imperative. At no time, under any circumstances, are we to allow corrupting speech to proceed out of our mouths. Any kind of corrupting speech in general, the kind of corrupting speech identified in chapter 5 and verse 4 in particular. But now, notice the last part of the verse.

10:40 - 11:08 Read in full sermon

The point: Examine your conscience not only for corrupt words spoken but for edifying, grace-conveying words withheld in the presence of real need. Both violations of Ephesians 4:29 require confession and repentance.

Martin describes how believers faithfully confess corrupt or abusive words at the end of a day, yet can go days, weeks, and months in the presence of family and fellow believers who need edifying words -- being 'wickedly and sinfully mute' -- without a single twinge of conscience.

If I fail to comply with the positive injunction, am I equally sinning by my silence? See, I said we're going into territory some of you have never gone before. You would never think of retiring to bed at night having spoken corrupt words without reflecting back on the day and saying, Oh, God, forgive me for that corrupting word that came out of my mouth, that abusive word that passed from my tongue. Oh, Lord, forgive me.

14:36 - 15:15 Read in full sermon

In this part of the sermon: Martin expounds the pastoral situation at Thessalonica and Paul's double command to 'comfort one another with these words' and 'exhort one another and build each other up,'…

Martin frames his five-text argument as a lawyer building a cumulative case before a jury, pressing the proposition that silence can be just as sinful as the words we speak.

I'm going to be like the lawyer before the jury making out my appeal that there is a silence that is sinful, as sinful as some of the words we speak. 1 Thessalonians in chapter 4. Most of you are familiar with the pastoral problem. Beginning in verse 13 of chapter 4, Paul is addressing what was a pastoral problem at Thessalonica.

17:07 - 17:40 Read in full sermon

The point: When you have received doctrinally corrective truth that has brought your own heart into alignment with reality, you are under obligation to pass that truth in spoken words to brothers and sisters whose grief or confusio…

Some at Thessalonica were teaching that when Christ returns, deceased saints would be second-class citizens, causing living believers who had lost loved ones to grieve with worldly, unchastened sorrow. Paul's remedy is a block of truth delivered in words -- illustrating that doctrinal truth must be spoken to correct emotional error.

Apparently some were teaching that when the Lord returns his concern would be primarily with living saints and that his dead saints would somehow be second class citizens at the return of Christ. And in the light of that those believers who had loved ones who had passed on to be with the Lord were grieving with the grief that was not chastened by truth. And so Paul writes saying we would not have you ignorant brethren concerning them that fall asleep in order that you do not sorrow even as the rest who have no hope. He said this is why I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you.

17:40 - 18:21 Read in full sermon

The point: When you have received doctrinally corrective truth that has brought your own heart into alignment with reality, you are under obligation to pass that truth in spoken words to brothers and sisters whose grief or confusio…

Martin pictures a believer who has received Paul's doctrinal words, internalized them for his own comfort, and then selfishly keeps them to himself while a brother drowns in grief. The truth that was Paul's became the believer's, and must now become articulate words through 'your larynx, your tongue, your teeth, your lips' into the ears of the brother.

In other words Paul says this If you have embraced these words and your own thinking your skewed thinking has been sorted out and your own unbiblical non-Christian sorrow has been swept away by the chase and sorrow of an enlightened Christian mind you are not to keep that to yourself in the presence of your brothers and your sisters you are to take these words that were my words that are now your words and through your larynx your tongue your teeth your lips you are to speak them into the ears of your brothers and sisters with a view to encouraging them

19:49 - 20:33 Read in full sermon

The point: Refuse the excuse that your silence is humility or your temperament; both claims are refuted by the imperative of Thessalonians. If you are not a talker, you must learn to be -- just as overtalkative believers must learn…

Martin anticipates the excuse that silence reflects humility and dispatches it bluntly: 'Oh but I'm so humble. No you're not. You're disobedient.' And to the excuse 'I'm not a talker': 'Well too bad. Learn to be -- just like some of us have to unlearn too much talk.'

if you're in that setting and you don't believe don't comfort with those words and you don't build up with those words are you disobeying God? yes you are that's when silence is sinful oh but I'm so humble no you're not you're disobedient oh but I'm not wherefore comfort one another oh but you see I'm not a talker well too bad learn to be just like some of us have to unlearn too much to talk hm? that we have a moral

24:13 - 24:57 Read in full sermon

The point: When a brother or sister sins against you, obey Luke 17:3 by going to them with words of rebuke rather than withdrawing in silence, building up resentment, or sulking. The whole process of reconciliation requires spoken …

Martin strips Luke 17:3 to its bones: the offended party goes with words to rebuke, the offender with words says 'I see my sin, I own my sin, will you forgive me,' and the offended party with words says 'my brother, I forgive you, it is buried, never to be raised again.' Strip out the words and the entire process collapses.

about mutual offenses but a very critical directive concerning mutual offenses and the whole process depends upon words you strip this process of words and there's nothing left look at the language of our Lord if your brother sin rebuke him epitomao a very strong word if your brother sin you go with words strong words seeking to bring him to feel and own in the theater of his conscience his moral wrong he has sinned a sin which it is either not right

27:09 - 27:53 Read in full sermon

The point: When a brother or sister sins against you, obey Luke 17:3 by going to them with words of rebuke rather than withdrawing in silence, building up resentment, or sulking. The whole process of reconciliation requires spoken …

Martin explicitly lists what Christ did not command when a brother sins: withdraw from him, allow an emotional barrier to rise, draw back in unexplained sulking, avoid the offender, or build up 'a pus sack in the soul of resentment and bitterness.' Christ said: rebuke him.

or possible to cover with the blanket of love that's another facet of biblical teaching we don't go into it tonight have fervent love among yourselves for love shall cover a multitude of sins but here's a sin it is not in his best interest nor in yours to cover it with a blanket of love what are you to do if your brother sin withdraw from him allow an emotional barrier to be raised up between you and him that's what we often do but the Lord Jesus didn't say that he said rebuke him the Lord Jesus did not say if your brother sin draw back in unexplained sulking avoid the one who's wronged you bu...

27:53 - 28:38 Read in full sermon

The point: Recognize that your silence in the face of a neighbor's or fellow believer's sin does not leave you neutral -- Leviticus 19:17 makes you an accomplice in that sin. Silence is not an innocent option when rebuke is the rig…

Martin calls Leviticus 19:17 'frightening': 'You shall surely rebuke your neighbor and not bear sin because of him.' If you do not rebuke your neighbor, you become an accomplice in his sin -- you bear his sin by your silence.

as Jesus said we are to do you become an accomplice in his sin by your silence you bear his sin when you confront it with silence that's when silence is sin text number four Colossians chapter three and here I ask you to pray that God will expand and open up your mind to a concept that has just been thrilling to me as I have for a long time been thinking about this issue and having to come up to the plate for a second time today

33:02 - 33:44 Read in full sermon

The point: Reject all excuses rooted in temperament, cultural background, or upbringing for failing to speak necessary words. You are united to Christ, indwelt by the Spirit, have Christ as your model, and have all the dynamics of …

From Colossians 3:10, Martin argues that the new man is being renewed 'after the image of him that created him,' making God himself the pattern. What does God's image look like in communication? He did not frustrate Adam with silence, did not leave Adam in confusion where verbal instruction was needed -- this is the standard.

is the image of God himself now when we ask the question what is God's image in terms of communication we've seen briefly in my introduction in the garden God was the perfect communicator he did not frustrate Adam with silence where he should have spoken he didn't leave Adam in confusion where Adam needed verbal instruction verbal conveyance of the mind of God and when we come to the reality that God's image is perfectly revealed in Jesus Christ

38:06 - 38:51 Read in full sermon

The point: Reject all excuses rooted in temperament, cultural background, or upbringing for failing to speak necessary words. You are united to Christ, indwelt by the Spirit, have Christ as your model, and have all the dynamics of …

Martin draws from the Gospels to show Christ's perfect balance: amazed pagans marveled at his silence under accusation, yet when asked 'Are you the Son of the Blessed?' -- a moment where silence would have been sin -- he broke his silence and affirmed his identity even knowing it would precipitate his execution.

in concrete human form and human existence and human interaction when we follow the life of our Lord Jesus through the gospels with this in view how did he communicate oh how we marvel at his holy silences you remember when he's being accused at his trial even the pagan rulers were amazed at his silence and yet when silence would have been sin when he is asked are you the son of the blessed he breaks his silence and says you have said it and henceforth you will see the son of man

38:51 - 39:34 Read in full sermon

The point: Reject all excuses rooted in temperament, cultural background, or upbringing for failing to speak necessary words. You are united to Christ, indwelt by the Spirit, have Christ as your model, and have all the dynamics of …

Martin cites examples of Christ's positive verbal ministry: 'Neither do I condemn thee, go sin no more' to the woman caught in adultery; 'Henceforth I no more call you slaves... I call you my friend' to the disciples -- showing that Jesus was never guilty of sinful silence when comfort or affirmation was needed.

he knew how to convey his affections henceforth I no more call you slaves for a slave doesn't know what his master does I call you my friend I'm going to disclose my heart to you and I'm now going to give you a name commensurate with the opening of my heart you trace our Lord Jesus through the gospels he is the perfect expression he is the image of God in concrete human form and existence and relationships and when we view him in his communication our Lord was never given guilty of unwarranted speech

40:15 - 40:59 Read in full sermon

The point: Reject all excuses rooted in temperament, cultural background, or upbringing for failing to speak necessary words. You are united to Christ, indwelt by the Spirit, have Christ as your model, and have all the dynamics of …

Martin attacks the claim 'I'm just not much of a talker' as a form of genetic or cultural determinism, parallel to the excuse that someone raised in a profane household cannot learn gracious speech. Both say sin is greater than grace -- and both are demolished by Romans 5:20.

after the image of himself as revealed in Christ and that's what's wretched about this form of horrible excusing of ourselves in a kind of either genetic or cultural determinism well I'm just not much of a talker is that right? well before you were saved you weren't much of a prayer either were you? you weren't much of a holiness seeker either were you? you weren't much of a lover of men with pure and holy love were you?

42:27 - 43:04 Read in full sermon

The point: Reject all excuses rooted in temperament, cultural background, or upbringing for failing to speak necessary words. You are united to Christ, indwelt by the Spirit, have Christ as your model, and have all the dynamics of …

Martin asks: if Jesus saw one of your children obviously preoccupied and something was clearly wrong, would he let it pass with a casual 'hey kid, what's bothering you -- OK fine, tell me when it does'? To think so is blasphemy. Jesus would gently, graciously, lovingly draw out the soul of that child to find and heal the sore.

that says sin is greater than grace and my bible says where sin abounded grace does much more abound this passage my brothers and my sisters attacks this horrible sin of silence when silence is unlike Jesus let me ask you if Jesus were in your home if Jesus were in your home and he saw one of your children obviously preoccupied obviously something wasn't quite right do you think Jesus would let it pass by without noticing it without tactfully seeking to take that son

43:48 - 44:32 Read in full sermon

The point: Reject all excuses rooted in temperament, cultural background, or upbringing for failing to speak necessary words. You are united to Christ, indwelt by the Spirit, have Christ as your model, and have all the dynamics of …

Martin asks: if Jesus saw a wife distracted and preoccupied, would he ignore it or bark 'what's your problem today, wrong time of the month?' No -- he would gently, graciously, lovingly draw out her soul, 'find the sore and heal it.' This is the pattern for every husband.

or daughter aside and in a non threatening context and in a non threatening way do everything to pry open their soul to get them to say what it was that was troubling them you think you'd be satisfied with just saying hey kid what's bothering you well nothing dad ok fine when it does tell me you think Jesus would do that you think that's the way Jesus would communicate if you do that's blasphemy if Jesus were the husband in your home and he saw a wife distracted preoccupied you think he'd ignore it or perceiving

44:32 - 45:16 Read in full sermon

The point: Parents: apply the Golden Rule to your verbal life with your children. The verbal and physical affirmations of love and delight you wished you had received from your own parents, you are obligated to give to your childre…

Martin asks parents to remember their own childhood: do you wish your parents had been more verbal and physical in their expressions of love? Many have told him in pastoral counseling that they ache for memories of a father who affirmed them. The Golden Rule requires that parents give their own children what they wished they had received.

of you parents to look back and think back upon your childhood think back do you wish your parents had been more verbal and physical in their expressions of love to you I know the answer for many of you because you have told me in pastoral counseling settings would God I had memories of a dad who propped me up on his knee put his arms around me in a chaste way that never gave me reason to think there was anything that was sordid or unclean right up until I left the home and got married I'm speaking as a young woman now

48:58 - 49:42 Read in full sermon

The point: Parents: apply the Golden Rule to your verbal life with your children. The verbal and physical affirmations of love and delight you wished you had received from your own parents, you are obligated to give to your childre…

Martin narrates in the persona of a young woman in pastoral counseling: 'Would God I had a dad who put his arms around me and say sweetheart, I couldn't love you any more than I love you, I thank God you're my daughter.' He notes that some in the congregation ache just hearing those words because they never received them.

would God I had a dad who put his arms around me and say to me sweetheart I couldn't love you any more than I love you I thank God you're my daughter some of you ache just hearing me say that because you never had that from your dads no constant affirmation and reaffirmation and repeated affirmations of delight in you of gratitude to God for you telling you at times you know honey at times you give dad a pain in the neck and pain lots of other places but I wouldn't have anyone else but you for a daughter son I'm so glad God's given you

49:42 - 50:24 Read in full sermon

The point: Parents: apply the Golden Rule to your verbal life with your children. The verbal and physical affirmations of love and delight you wished you had received from your own parents, you are obligated to give to your childre…

Martin shares a personal memory: on his son's twelfth birthday he put his arms around him and said, 'Son, everything I ever hoped a son would be, you've been to me.' He notes the awkwardness, admits he felt 'dipped in starch,' but pressed through it -- and heard from his child that it mattered.

to be my son stand with him as I remember on my son's twelfth birthday with my arms around him saying son everything I ever hoped a son would be you've been to me I could say that up until he was twelve and I did say it as you would that others do to you do to them are you sending your daughters and your sons out into life with the same gaping holes in their psyche that your father and mother left in yours when I feel awkward

50:24 - 51:06 Read in full sermon

The point: Parents: apply the Golden Rule to your verbal life with your children. The verbal and physical affirmations of love and delight you wished you had received from your own parents, you are obligated to give to your childre…

Martin describes his own emotional stiffness in learning to express affection verbally to his children. He felt stiff 'as though I were dipped in starch,' yet sat the child on his knee. The child responded: 'I know you felt a little stiff, I felt a little funny, but I liked it.'

so what would that others do I feel stiff as though I were dipped in starch doing this but I know I need to do help me come sit on my knee next time will be a little easier and she said you know dad I know you felt a little stiff I felt a little funny but I liked it as you would that others do

51:06 - 51:49 Read in full sermon

The point: Children and teenagers: when loving parents reach out to you in a context of consistent affirmation and you meet them with silence about a crisis you are experiencing, that silence is cruel and sinful. They may be the ve…

Martin recalls his mother's repeated saying: 'Doing things you don't like to do develops character.' He hated hearing it as a child cleaning windows on a spring Saturday night. But as a 68-year-old man he still hears her voice -- 'she laid up a stock in me with words' that has shaped him his entire life.

puke it out I heard it again and again but I hear it to this day as a 68 year old man she laid up a stock in me with words with words a job worth doing is worth doing right 10 30 Saturday night in the study and the words of a heading are not right a job worth doing is worth doing right yeah I know that's what my mother said when I wanted to go to bed the job isn't being done right yet so you do it

52:33 - 53:16 Read in full sermon

The point: Children and teenagers: when loving parents reach out to you in a context of consistent affirmation and you meet them with silence about a crisis you are experiencing, that silence is cruel and sinful. They may be the ve…

Martin recalls counseling a young person irritated with parental direction. He walked the teenager through a list of every parental decision and asked: has your parent ever done one thing for you that was not in your best interest? 'Never, never, never, never.' 'Then what makes you think they've suddenly become a demon to cramp your style?'

style and ruin your life by asking this of you don't you think you ought to give them a little slack and believe that maybe they're still the same people that have done all these things for your best interest and so here's a parent who really loves you and they're picking up the signals that you're struggling with something maybe you're entering into a period of your life when you're feeling things you don't know how to sort them out some of you girls as you begin to come into puberty and into a consciousness of your identity as a young woman you may find strange feelings not toward boys but y...

53:59 - 54:44 Read in full sermon

The point: Children and teenagers: when loving parents reach out to you in a context of consistent affirmation and you meet them with silence about a crisis you are experiencing, that silence is cruel and sinful. They may be the ve…

Martin addresses teenagers directly: parents sense something is going on in your psyche and they reach out in a context of constant affirmation -- 'sweetheart, there's something troubling you, can't you talk to dad?' -- and the teenager meets them with 'nope, nope, nope.' Martin calls this cruel: 'You see how cruel your silence is.'

temptations I didn't say you may be gay no no no no just as some may have temptations to the abuse of alcohol and some temptations to enter into illicit relations with boys there may be some of you and you're just dying how can I ever talk to my mom or dad and they sense something's going on in your psyche and they're saying to you in a context where there's constant affirmation of love and acceptance sweetheart there's something troubling you can't you talk to dad can't you talk to mom nope nope nope you see how cruel your silence is you've got a loving parent ready to enter in and to face th...

54:44 - 55:27 Read in full sermon

The point: Husbands and wives: express modest, sincere words of appreciation to each other for the daily labors of love. Weeks and months of silence in the face of faithful service is ingratitude, which Scripture condemns as sin.

Martin compares the silent teenager to a patient who tells a family doctor 'nothing' when symptoms are present that -- if spoken -- the doctor's medical skill could heal. 'That kind of silence kids is evil. Don't do that to your parents. That silence is sin.'

how will you feel if you know there's something wrong with your kid and you're trying to get inside they won't let you and they meet you with stone silence as you would that others do unto you even so do you also unto them for this is the law and the prophets let me touch another area under this text I want to just apply it enough to get you really thinking and see it is a golden rule it'll fit anywhere do you like modest but sincere words of appreciation for those to whom you've done something out of love not just a pat on the shoulder

56:11 - 56:55 Read in full sermon

The point: Husbands and wives: express modest, sincere words of appreciation to each other for the daily labors of love. Weeks and months of silence in the face of faithful service is ingratitude, which Scripture condemns as sin.

Martin uses a deliberately earthy and humorous illustration aimed at husbands: did you ever see your underwear crawl by itself into the washing machine, into the dryer, fold itself up, and return to your drawer? No. So when is the last time you thanked your wife for doing it?

to me again anyone here so weird that that's the way you despise I don't think so as you would that others do unto you even so do ye also unto them how much does it cost you to put together fifteen words to take your wife in your arms and say thank you let me ask you guys something did you ever see your underwear crawl down by itself into the washing machine into the dryer and fold itself up and back up in your drawer the next day how many ever saw it if so I tell you you've been drinking too much of the wrong thing

57:38 - 58:23 Read in full sermon

The point: Husbands and wives: express modest, sincere words of appreciation to each other for the daily labors of love. Weeks and months of silence in the face of faithful service is ingratitude, which Scripture condemns as sin.

Martin mentions that his wife has had to struggle all her life with being a Vermonter -- a culture where you 'keep everything locked up in here, do your business, mind your business.' He notes this closed-mouth disposition cannot survive marriage because in marriage 'his business is yours and yours is his, because the two are one.'

talking with someone she's had to struggle with being a Vermonter all her life Vermonters keep everything locked up in here you do your business mind your business they'll mind their business and go your happy way you can't do that when you're married because his business is yours and yours is his because the two are one and no little part in real experiential marital oneness is words words words words so don't cop out that it's not your temperament not your background not your training didn't have this kind of example etc etc I want to start us by reading the passage that we'll read God willi...

60:34 - 61:19 Read in full sermon