When Silence is Sin

Introduction: A Sermon Requested by the Congregation

0:05 The following sermon was delivered on Sunday evening, January 19, 2003, at Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey. Now, since we are going to be traversing in what I believe will be new territory for many of you tonight, addressing things concerning which you may have given very little, if any, thought in previous times of thinking about the general area of our concern, let us plead that special help will be given to me by the Spirit

0:42 to be clear, to be pointed, to be, above all else, accurate in my handling of the Word of God, and that God will give to each of you the spirit of wisdom and understanding in these concerns. Let's pray together. Our Father, you bring us again and again to the realization that you are the Spirit of wisdom and understanding in these concerns. Of that very basic truth uttered by John the Baptist, that a man can receive nothing except to be given him from heaven.

1:18 And we are especially conscious of this when we seek to place, as it were, the feet of our minds in tracks that they've not been before. And we ask for the special help of the Holy Spirit that I may be clear, biblical, pointed in the application, of these issues, and that your Holy Spirit will be present to give us both understanding and an inclination to receive and to yield to the pressure of your Holy Word.

1:51 We pray for some that they may look back upon this night as a night of critical importance in their hearts, in their lives, in their experience with husband and wife and children and brothers and sisters and parents, and we pray for some that they may look back upon this night as a night of critical importance in their hearts, in their lives, in their experience with husband and wife and children and parents, and we pray for some that they may look back upon this night as a night of critical importance in their hearts, in their lives, in their experience with husband and wife and children and parents, O Lord, do for us what we cannot do for ourselves as we plead for such mercies through Christ our Lord. Amen. Amen. Amen.

The Communicating Climate of Eden and Its Fall

2:19 Amen. As we begin our study in the Word of God this evening, I want you to return with me to the pristine beauty and moral perfection of the Garden of Eden. We are told in Genesis 1 in verse 31, at the close of the sixth day of God's creative action, that God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was all very good.

2:53 And among the very good things of the Garden was what I am calling the communicating climate initiated and established by the Lord God. Amen. Amen. Amen.

3:06 Amen. In that climate, God himself, was the perfect communicator. In recent days, I've been listening to some CDs made available when you renewed your world subscription, CDs of vast president Ronald Reagan, and he was called the great communicator, and I agree with that assessment. I think many preachers could learn much by listening to those CDs.

3:35 But Ronald Reagan, though the great communicator, was never the perfect communicator. God alone is deserving of that description and title. And in that communication of God, the perfect communicator, all that Adam needed to know in order to do the will of God and to glorify God, God fully and accurately revealed to Adam in words that Adam accurately perceived. There was no breakdown in the communication process.

4:15 Adam, in turn, with God as his pattern, was the perfect communicator with Eve, his bride. All she needed to know in order to fulfill her role in God's world, either God or Adam, had made clear to her in words which she, she also accurately understood. No more was revealed than was necessary for Adam and Eve to know their identity, their purpose, and the will of God for them,

4:52 and no less was made known than what was essential to fulfill their role in God's world. So get the picture of this triangle of perfect communication, God is at the apex, here's Adam and here is Eve. And between Adam and God there is perfect communication, between Eve and God there is perfect communication, and between Adam and Eve there is perfect communication. And so the setting of the communicating context is part of that which when God looked upon it, He assessed it,

5:35 as very good. And among the many horrific tragedies of the fall of man, was the radical disruption of this communicating climate, both God-ward and man-ward. A tragic disruption of this climate of perfect communication. Not only did man's tongue become an instrument to blaspheme, and revile his God, but became an instrument to speak unwarranted and sinful things that deceived,

6:16 misled, cut, and wounded, and defiled and poisoned his fellow man. Likewise, the tongue became an instrument to cause deep grief, and a form of punishment when it refused to speak the things it ought to speak, in order that the object to whom they are spoken would understand the mind and the purpose and the will of another. The tongue became sinfully active and also sinfully inactive.

The Series Context and the Metaphor of the Unlocked Door

6:57 And it's in the light of that reality that I want to speak to you tonight on the sins of the silent, tongue. And if you ask me, Pastor Martin, why are you doing this? I answer very honestly and simply as follows.

7:15 In the course of the eight sermons on the use of our tongues, in which I've identified the importance of the subject, some of the major sins of the tongue, some of the biblical directives to overcome those sins, I have had more than a few of you speak to me at the door. Some of you very tactfully, suggesting quite strongly, that I bring a sermon or two on the sin of the silent tongue. As I say, some have just raised the question, are you planning to? Others saying, will you please?

7:53 And with varying degrees, it's been evident to me that there is at the grassroots of this congregation, a desire that this issue of the sin of the silent tongue be addressed. And when it became evident that Pastor Jay was not going to be able to preach tonight, and I was in line to preach as I reflected on what to do with this extra opportunity, I felt I could do no better than to ask God to help me to preach to you on this very subject. When silence is sin or the sins of the silent tongue. For our deaf friends, the sins of the silent tongue,

8:36 are the sins of the inactive hands. What for us is a silent tongue for them is inactive hands.

8:49 In other words, there are times when the four captains who stand outside as God's sentinel on the door of the mouth, each one has placed his key in his proper lock, has withdrawn the deadbolt, and the door ought to swing open so that out of it will come righteous speech. But alas, though each captain has turned his lock and the door should swing open, nothing comes out. Though it would be righteous and right for something to come out, nothing comes forth from that unlocked door. And so if you take away nothing else,

9:33 I hope you will take away that little phrase, I hope you will take away that little phrase, When silence is sin and hang on it, the five texts of scripture that I want to open up in your hearing tonight. And the first is Ephesians 4 and verse 29. Ephesians 4 and verse 29, text number 1, attempting to demonstrate when silence is not golden, but silence is sinful. Ephesians 4 and verse 29, text number 1, attempting to demonstrate when silence is not golden, but silence is sinful.

Text 1 -- Ephesians 4:29: The Positive Imperative

10:07 Ephesians 4 and verse 29. Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but such as is good for edifying as the need may be, that it may give grace to them that hear. Now we looked at the negative command in conjunction with identifying some of the major sins of the tongue in verse 29a. Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth.

10:40 That's an imperative, a present imperative. At no time, under any circumstances, are we to allow corrupting speech to proceed out of our mouths. Any kind of corrupting speech in general, the kind of corrupting speech identified in chapter 5 and verse 4 in particular. But now, notice the last part of the verse.

11:09 With all the force of the imperative behind the words, let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but let such speech proceed out of your mouth, an imperative, as is good for edifying, as the need may be, that it may give grace to them, that hear. Having forbidden us to allow corrupt speech to proceed from our mouths, the apostle is not content with the negative. He now commands us, in contrast to that, that from our mouths,

11:52 that is, articulated by diaphragm, larynx, tongue, teeth, and lips, a specific kind of words should come forth, from our mouths. And they are to have three characteristics. Words that are good for building up. Look at the language.

12:14 No corrupt speech, but such as is good for building up. Secondly, words appropriate to real need. Good for building up, as the need may be. Here is real need.

12:35 Here are real words, which when they come out of a real mouth, articulated by a real tongue, in a real communicating context, they are an appropriate response to that real need. Words that come forth with the intention to build up, not to tear down. Words that are appropriate to real need, and this is the amazing thing, words that convey grace. That is, that it may give grace to them that hear.

13:09 This, then, is the responsibility of every believer in conjunction with his speech. And as surely as he is jealously to have the door of his mouth guarded, that no corrupt speech proceed out of his mouth, he is under solemn obligation to feel conscious bound in every circumstance in which he finds himself in a communicating context to be committed out of conscience to speak words calculated to build up words appropriate to real need,

13:53 and words that will communicate grace. And the divine imperative attaches itself as much to the positive, as to the negative. Now let me ask you a question. If I let corrupt, harmful, derogatory, destructive speech proceed from my mouth, am I sinning?

14:20 Yea, nay. Okay. So, if I violate the negative injunction, I'm sinning, right? Question number two.

14:36 If I fail to comply with the positive injunction, am I equally sinning by my silence? See, I said we're going into territory some of you have never gone before. You would never think of retiring to bed at night having spoken corrupt words without reflecting back on the day and saying, Oh, God, forgive me for that corrupting word that came out of my mouth, that abusive word that passed from my tongue. Oh, Lord, forgive me.

15:15 And if there were someone to whom it was spoken or those words were spoken of seeking their forgiveness, your conscience is attuned to the negative injunction. But you can go days and weeks and months in the presence of wife, of husband, of children, of fellow believers in circumstances where there is real need for words that would build up and be an instrument of grace, and you are wickedly and sinfully mute.

15:57 And it never causes a twinge in your conscience. I don't know how else to understand a text. Let no corrupt speech proceed, but with the force of that imperative verb behind the next clause, but let there proceed that which is good for edifying, that which is answerable to real need, need that can be met by my words, need which when met by my words becomes a conduit

16:39 of the very grace of God to another. So, is there such a thing as sinful silence? I trust from this text you are at least beginning to be persuaded there is indeed such a thing as sinful silence. Now then, the second text, 1 Thessalonians chapter 4.

Text 2 -- 1 Thessalonians 4:18 and 5:11: Comfort One Another

17:07 I'm going to be like the lawyer before the jury making out my appeal that there is a silence that is sinful, as sinful as some of the words we speak. 1 Thessalonians in chapter 4. Most of you are familiar with the pastoral problem. Beginning in verse 13 of chapter 4, Paul is addressing what was a pastoral problem at Thessalonica.

17:40 Apparently some were teaching that when the Lord returns his concern would be primarily with living saints and that his dead saints would somehow be second class citizens at the return of Christ. And in the light of that those believers who had loved ones who had passed on to be with the Lord were grieving with the grief that was not chastened by truth. And so Paul writes saying we would not have you ignorant brethren concerning them that fall asleep in order that you do not sorrow even as the rest who have no hope. He said this is why I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you.

18:21 You are ignorant concerning a block of truth which if you knew it would chasten and discipline your sorrow so that it would not be like godless sorrow. And then in verses 14 to 17 he gives the block of truth and he lays out the facts concerning the return of Christ and rather than the dead saints being second class citizens they'll be first class. When the Lord descends from heaven he will deal with his dead saints first and he gives that instruction and then we who are alive and remain caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air so shall we ever be with the Lord. So he's given his block of instruction that should sweep away their ignorance.

19:06 Now if you were a believer who had your ignorance swept away by this block of truth and you had internalized it to the comfort of your own soul what were you to do with that truth which you had now perceived from the apostles words you had embraced and internalized to your own comfort it was now yours what were you to do with it? Snuggle up to it and feel nice and comfortable and feel its warmth and its comfort and stop there? No, look at verse 18 Therefore comfort one another with these words

19:49 In other words Paul says this If you have embraced these words and your own thinking your skewed thinking has been sorted out and your own unbiblical non-Christian sorrow has been swept away by the chase and sorrow of an enlightened Christian mind you are not to keep that to yourself in the presence of your brothers and your sisters you are to take these words that were my words that are now your words and through your larynx your tongue your teeth your lips you are to speak them into the ears of your brothers and sisters with a view to encouraging them

20:33 The Greek word parakaleo has a wide range of meaning literally, etymologically it is to draw alongside and to speak a word of encouragement of strengthening motivation sometimes has the connotation of exhortation bordering on admonition but in this context obviously what it is is go to one another and when you have a loved one that dies or one that has died and you begin to forget some of the words that I have told you that have swept away your unchastened your carnal

21:17 worldly like sorrow and you begin to drift back into it you have a solemn obligation to take these words that have brought you comfort and you are to articulate them and pass them on to your brothers wherefore comfort exhort one another with these words then Paul goes on in chapter 5 verses 1 to 10 to give further instruction about the Lord's return of a more general nature and the implications of that for the saints of God and what does he do at the end of that additional block of teaching verse 11 wherefore in the light of this block of teaching exhort one another

22:02 same words as 4.18 encourage one another but then he goes further and build each other up and it's very interesting what he does here is he gives the verbal form of the noun that he used in the previous passage in Ephesians 4.29 we are to speak that which is good for building up that was the noun oikodome now he says engage in the activity of building up oikodomeo in the imperative form so that when we have received additional life from the word

22:46 from the words of apostolic instruction and they have brought stabilization to our own hearts and they've brought us into alignment with reality we are not selfishly to keep them to ourselves but we are in principle commitment to speak in appropriate circumstances comfort with those words exhort one another and build each other up now question you're in a situation where you hear from a brother from a sister from a spouse from a family member

23:29 an emotional reaction to death or to any other facet of human experience and you perceive that that reaction is skewed because they are either ignorant of or have temporarily forgotten the fundamental Christian truth and you know that truth from the words of God what are you to do? you are to take those words and make them your words you are to frame them with your mouth and to put them in their ears with a view to comforting exhorting and building them up now my question is

24:13 if you're in that setting and you don't believe don't comfort with those words and you don't build up with those words are you disobeying God? yes you are that's when silence is sinful oh but I'm so humble no you're not you're disobedient oh but I'm not wherefore comfort one another oh but you see I'm not a talker well too bad learn to be just like some of us have to unlearn too much to talk hm? that we have a moral

24:57 spiritual familial obligation with the words that we speak one to another not only making conscience that we do not lie one to another negative that no corrupting speech proceeds out of our mouth into one another's ears negative that no abusive speech proceeds from our mouth one to another negative but making conscience that we speak comfort exhortation with the words of God one to another text number three I said I'm going to give you five texts

Text 3 -- Luke 17:3 and Leviticus 19:17: Rebuke and Forgiveness

25:41 I'm just going to get a block of bible Luke 17 in verse 3 remember what I'm trying to prove that there is a time when silence is sin Luke 17 and God willing in a series that's brewing and about to get born on the biblical doctrine of forgiveness this will be a passage that we will look at in some detail but tonight we look at it in a very limited way Luke 17 verse 1 and he said unto his disciples it's impossible that occasions of stumbling should come in the sinful world there will be occasions to sin that's reality here's Jesus' realism but woe unto him through whom they do come

26:26 it were well for him if a millstone were hung about his neck and he were thrown into the sea rather than that he should cause one of these little ones to stumble take heed to yourselves if your brother sin rebuke him and if he repent forgive him and if he sin against you seven times in the day and seven times turn again to you saying saying I repent you shall forget him here in this passage our Lord is telling us not giving an exhaustive directive

27:09 about mutual offenses but a very critical directive concerning mutual offenses and the whole process depends upon words you strip this process of words and there's nothing left look at the language of our Lord if your brother sin rebuke him epitomao a very strong word if your brother sin you go with words strong words seeking to bring him to feel and own in the theater of his conscience his moral wrong he has sinned a sin which it is either not right

27:53 or possible to cover with the blanket of love that's another facet of biblical teaching we don't go into it tonight have fervent love among yourselves for love shall cover a multitude of sins but here's a sin it is not in his best interest nor in yours to cover it with a blanket of love what are you to do if your brother sin withdraw from him allow an emotional barrier to be raised up between you and him that's what we often do but the Lord Jesus didn't say that he said rebuke him the Lord Jesus did not say if your brother sin draw back in unexplained sulking avoid the one who's wronged you build up a pus sack

28:38 in the soul of resentment and bitterness no you're to go to him and you are to rebuke him verbally to confront him with his sin and what is he to do he is to repent now in the context how do you know he's repenting repentance is an inner disposition of the heart you only know it when he says brother, sister you have pointed out my sin I see that I have sinned I own my sin which is the very essence of repentance I acknowledge my sin and I ask you to forgive me for that sin because Jesus says if he repent, forgive him the assumption being with words he's saying

29:23 I see my sin I own my sin will you forgive me for my sin not apologize we're going to deal with this nonsense of apology that has no basis in the word of God when we come to the matter of the biblical doctor of forgiveness if he repents owns his sin seeks forgiveness for his sin Jesus said you are to forgive him now forgiveness is essentially a thing of the heart how's he going to know if you forgive him you say my brother I forgive you I let the issue go it's buried never to be raised again you see how words are central to this whole process you go and with words rebuke him with words he expresses repentance

30:06 with words you express forgiveness and that this is the prevailing disposition of the heart our Lord says if he sinned against you seven times in the day and seven times turned to you saying you see the Lord assumes words are involved in this whole process now then what are we to conclude from this passage well just this there is no righteous way to deal with interpersonal offenses without words spoken words clear words sincere words words that acknowledge moral culpability and wrong words that own sin

30:50 words that seek forgiveness for sin words that extend forgiveness concerning sin words words words sin sin sin that's the whole process laid out in the word of God a parallel passage of course is Matthew 18 15 if your brother sinned there's a textual problem does it say if he sinned against you or if he sinned could be either one there's sort of an equal weight of textual problem if your brother sinned against you go tell him his fault between you and him alone you go you speak you show him if he hear you if he hear you you have gained your brother if he hear you not take with you one or two more that at the mouth of every two or three witnesses every word

31:35 you see words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words now my question is if we do not confront interpersonal offenses with words are we sinning we let them be internalized with attitudes of resentment of distance of hurt feelings this is not what the Lord says he says we're to deal with them and we're to deal with them with words

32:17 and therefore when we are in a situation of interpersonal offenses or we see another sin and we go into silence that silence is sinful silence in fact there is a text in Leviticus that is frightening in underscoring this reality Leviticus 19 and verse 17 Leviticus 19 and verse 17 you shall not hate your brother in your heart you shall surely rebuke your neighbor and not bear sin because of him in other words if you do not rebuke your neighbor

33:02 as Jesus said we are to do you become an accomplice in his sin by your silence you bear his sin when you confront it with silence that's when silence is sin text number four Colossians chapter three and here I ask you to pray that God will expand and open up your mind to a concept that has just been thrilling to me as I have for a long time been thinking about this issue and having to come up to the plate for a second time today

Text 4 -- Colossians 3:10: The Pattern of Christ as Perfect Communicator

33:44 has forced me to try to articulate it it may I trust become clearer in coming days but as much as I can articulate I want to attempt to Colossians chapter three verses 18 through 11 remember now we are trying to prove one thing there is a silence that is sinful Colossians chapter three the context from chapter two twenty through three four Paul has been asserting the reality of a believers union with Christ and the implications of that union on the one hand the implications with regard to those that were trying to impose man made ascetic regulations upon the believers he said look if you are in union with Christ

34:29 you've died with Christ you've been raised with Christ why in the world are you letting people strap on your back a bunch of man made regulations touch not taste not handle not he said that's a bunch of nonsense furthermore he says if you were raised together with Christ chapter three verse one seek the things that are above where Christ is seated at the right hand of God set your mind on the things that are above you died your life is hid with Christ in God and the best is yet to come when Christ who is our life shall be manifest to you will be manifested with him in the context of glory he's opening up and underscoring the grand truth of our union with Christ and its implications on the one hand for some of the false teaching that was rife there at Colossae

35:12 and for our general view of the Christian life now then he begins to apply this to the issue of dealing with our sins verse five to death therefore in the light of your union with Christ and all the glory of that union put to death therefore your members which are upon the earth and he names those grosser forms of sin and now he goes on in verse eight but now do you also put them all away anger wrath malice now notice the sins of the tongue railing shameful speaking out of your mouth do not lie one to another why seeing you've put off the old man in your union with Christ you've put off the old man and

35:54 have put on the new man that is being renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him now just pause and think with me for a moment Paul says look you need to do these things because doing these things alone is consistent with who you are in union with Christ you put off the old man that is all that you were in Adam with all of his perspectives and his sinful passions and commitments you have died to that in union with Christ you put off the old man you put on the new but he says the new man that you put on

36:38 is not a perfect new man he says it is a new man that is continually being renewed look at that in the text you have put on the new man that is being renewed is in a constant line in the process of renewal but now listen carefully in that process of renewal what is the pattern towards which the renewal is moving is it just renewal without any pattern without any outline without any contours determining what the process of renewal will result in no look at the passage the new man that is being continually renewed in knowledge

37:23 will be a better rendering after according to Kata after the image of him that created him in other words the pattern of the new man is none other than God himself in the perfection of his holiness God himself whose image is perfectly seen where in Jesus Christ now he says in this whole ongoing work of sanctification including these many sins of the tongue the pattern of your renewal in putting off the old and in putting on the new

38:06 is the image of God himself now when we ask the question what is God's image in terms of communication we've seen briefly in my introduction in the garden God was the perfect communicator he did not frustrate Adam with silence where he should have spoken he didn't leave Adam in confusion where Adam needed verbal instruction verbal conveyance of the mind of God and when we come to the reality that God's image is perfectly revealed in Jesus Christ

38:51 in concrete human form and human existence and human interaction when we follow the life of our Lord Jesus through the gospels with this in view how did he communicate oh how we marvel at his holy silences you remember when he's being accused at his trial even the pagan rulers were amazed at his silence and yet when silence would have been sin when he is asked are you the son of the blessed he breaks his silence and says you have said it and henceforth you will see the son of man

39:34 coming in the clouds of glory and those words precipitated his execution prepared to speak when speaking was necessary for truth and righteousness prepared to be silent when silence was a manifestation of grace they wondered at the words of grace that proceeded out of his mouth he knew how to speak words that brought comfort into the soul of the distressed neither do I forgive thee condemn thee go sin no more

40:15 he knew how to convey his affections henceforth I no more call you slaves for a slave doesn't know what his master does I call you my friend I'm going to disclose my heart to you and I'm now going to give you a name commensurate with the opening of my heart you trace our Lord Jesus through the gospels he is the perfect expression he is the image of God in concrete human form and existence and relationships and when we view him in his communication our Lord was never given guilty of unwarranted speech

40:59 he was never guilty of sinful silence and God says that's the pattern for your tongue as a new man a new woman in Christ a new girl a new boy in Christ there's the pattern to be like Jesus with your tongue to keep the door of the mouth shut when it ought to be shut to have it wide open when it ought to be wide open never open when it ought to be shut never shut when it ought to be open that's the standard

41:43 for whom he did foreknow Paul says in Romans 8 then he also did predestinate to be what? conformed to the image of his Son may I put it in a way that I trust doesn't sound maudlin God wants to make you talk like Jesus God wants to make you talk like Jesus God wants to make you talk like Jesus and that's why he's united you to his Son and he's made you a new man a new woman in union with Christ and he's renewing you

42:27 after the image of himself as revealed in Christ and that's what's wretched about this form of horrible excusing of ourselves in a kind of either genetic or cultural determinism well I'm just not much of a talker is that right? well before you were saved you weren't much of a prayer either were you? you weren't much of a holiness seeker either were you? you weren't much of a lover of men with pure and holy love were you?

43:04 that's no excuse well I wasn't brought up in a home where I was communicated so what? you're united to Christ you have the Holy Spirit dwelling in you you have Christ as your model and you have all the dynamics of grace fashioning you into the likeness of Jesus away with such wretched excuses just as much as the one who says well I can't learn to stop corrupt speech and lying I was brought up in a home where everybody lied everybody cussed everybody told dirty jokes everybody slashed and caught with their words I can't ever have words of grace and that's a wretched determinism

43:48 that says sin is greater than grace and my bible says where sin abounded grace does much more abound this passage my brothers and my sisters attacks this horrible sin of silence when silence is unlike Jesus let me ask you if Jesus were in your home if Jesus were in your home and he saw one of your children obviously preoccupied obviously something wasn't quite right do you think Jesus would let it pass by without noticing it without tactfully seeking to take that son

44:32 or daughter aside and in a non threatening context and in a non threatening way do everything to pry open their soul to get them to say what it was that was troubling them you think you'd be satisfied with just saying hey kid what's bothering you well nothing dad ok fine when it does tell me you think Jesus would do that you think that's the way Jesus would communicate if you do that's blasphemy if Jesus were the husband in your home and he saw a wife distracted preoccupied you think he'd ignore it or perceiving

45:16 it do you think he'd simply say what in the world's wrong with you dear what's your problem today the wrong time of the month he would gently graciously lovingly draw out the soul of that woman to get in and find the sore and heal it love at Christ love the church here's your pattern you wives just extrapolate that take it out in a hundred directions it's ungodly to be silent when words are the means

Text 5 -- Matthew 7:12: The Golden Rule Applied to Verbal Duties

46:00 of building up and of conveying grace one other text and as far as I'm concerned I didn't know which one to put you're told in logic in building an argument either to bowl people over with your best argument at first and get your others done quickly or lead up to your best and I've struggled with these last two I don't know I think probably I should have preached this fourth one fifth and the fifth fourth but be that as it may as I said this was a new ground for me as well as you I want you to consider when the fifth major text which enables us to identify

46:45 when silence is sinful anyone got any idea what the text might be let's play twenty questions it's in the gospels which one is in Matthew it's in the first half of the gospel of Matthew it's in the first major section of Matthew it's in the sermon on the mount we've got about seven questions we're narrowing down Matthew seven and verse twelve here's our text Matthew seven and verse twelve as our Lord Jesus is coming toward the end of this sermon note what he says

47:29 all things therefore whatsoever you would that men should do unto you notice the emphasis is not what men should not do but what should do unto you even so do you also unto them for this is the law and the prophets Jesus said do you want a helpful distillations a nice little pithy summary of all the ethical and moral demands of the whole Old Testament here it is in one little golden rule as you would that others should do unto you even so also do you unto

48:13 them that is whatever you would desire others to do to you were you in their circumstances assuming the desire is righteous and reasonable that is what you are to do to them the assumption is that our natural self interest is a helpful indicator of the self interest of others you see that as you would that others do unto you assuming that what they would desire what you would desire is both righteous and reasonable that you are to do to them your self interest and their self interest are generally parallel now apply this to sinful silence I want a number

48:58 of you parents to look back and think back upon your childhood think back do you wish your parents had been more verbal and physical in their expressions of love to you I know the answer for many of you because you have told me in pastoral counseling settings would God I had memories of a dad who propped me up on his knee put his arms around me in a chaste way that never gave me reason to think there was anything that was sordid or unclean right up until I left the home and got married I'm speaking as a young woman now

49:42 would God I had a dad who put his arms around me and say to me sweetheart I couldn't love you any more than I love you I thank God you're my daughter some of you ache just hearing me say that because you never had that from your dads no constant affirmation and reaffirmation and repeated affirmations of delight in you of gratitude to God for you telling you at times you know honey at times you give dad a pain in the neck and pain lots of other places but I wouldn't have anyone else but you for a daughter son I'm so glad God's given you

50:24 to be my son stand with him as I remember on my son's twelfth birthday with my arms around him saying son everything I ever hoped a son would be you've been to me I could say that up until he was twelve and I did say it as you would that others do to you do to them are you sending your daughters and your sons out into life with the same gaping holes in their psyche that your father and mother left in yours when I feel awkward

51:06 so what would that others do I feel stiff as though I were dipped in starch doing this but I know I need to do help me come sit on my knee next time will be a little easier and she said you know dad I know you felt a little stiff I felt a little funny but I liked it as you would that others do

51:49 do with your mouth with your mouth with your mouth how many of you how many of you say I wish mom and dad had had hands on development of my character taking the time to teach me the lessons of life that I've had to learn in a hard way and even though I may not have appreciated it like I didn't son spring cleaning time yes mom you're gonna do the french doors and the windows but mom you know I hated the windows is that I know son and then I'd heard the famous story of a lady doing things you don't like to do develops character I heard it so many times I wanted to

52:33 puke it out I heard it again and again but I hear it to this day as a 68 year old man she laid up a stock in me with words with words a job worth doing is worth doing right 10 30 Saturday night in the study and the words of a heading are not right a job worth doing is worth doing right yeah I know that's what my mother said when I wanted to go to bed the job isn't being done right yet so you do it

53:16 until it's right some of you say oh I wish I had that well what about what you're giving to your kids as you would that others do unto you even so do you also unto them you kids I'm gonna go after you go after mom and dad you got parents that love you I remember sometime last year talking with one of our young people who was getting a little bit irritated and chafing under some parental guidance I said look at me have you ever known your parents to do one thing or desire one thing for you that was not for your best interest and I just went down the line they said never never never never I said what makes you think they've suddenly become a demon out to cramp your

53:59 style and ruin your life by asking this of you don't you think you ought to give them a little slack and believe that maybe they're still the same people that have done all these things for your best interest and so here's a parent who really loves you and they're picking up the signals that you're struggling with something maybe you're entering into a period of your life when you're feeling things you don't know how to sort them out some of you girls as you begin to come into puberty and into a consciousness of your identity as a young woman you may find strange feelings not toward boys but you may find strange feelings toward girls and you may be having lesbian

54:44 temptations I didn't say you may be gay no no no no just as some may have temptations to the abuse of alcohol and some temptations to enter into illicit relations with boys there may be some of you and you're just dying how can I ever talk to my mom or dad and they sense something's going on in your psyche and they're saying to you in a context where there's constant affirmation of love and acceptance sweetheart there's something troubling you can't you talk to dad can't you talk to mom nope nope nope you see how cruel your silence is you've got a loving parent ready to enter in and to face that

55:27 crisis that may be the turning point of your life and you won't let them in your silence is wickedness be like a doctor who's known you from birth and he can sense something's not right with you and you're in for a regular checkup and he says to you Mary or John there's something not right with you what's going on with you nothing and you're hurting here and you're hurting there and there are symptoms that if you'd only speak of them he could apply his medicinal skills to help you that kind of silence kids is evil don't do that to your parents that silence is sin someday you're going to be a parent

56:11 how will you feel if you know there's something wrong with your kid and you're trying to get inside they won't let you and they meet you with stone silence as you would that others do unto you even so do you also unto them for this is the law and the prophets let me touch another area under this text I want to just apply it enough to get you really thinking and see it is a golden rule it'll fit anywhere do you like modest but sincere words of appreciation for those to whom you've done something out of love not just a pat on the shoulder

56:55 thank you dear I appreciate you going the extra mile for me and that meal you made for me thank you sweetheart I know it's not easy to get out that door six o'clock every morning take that commute face what you face in the job but I'm so thankful I don't need to worry where the next meal's coming thank you sweetheart for your faithfulness in your job some of you women weeks and months have gone and you haven't said that to your husband shame on you don't you like modest expressions of appreciation for deeds done in love to those you love don't you come on don't you come on get on this don't or to someone say I don't like that don't ever do that

57:38 to me again anyone here so weird that that's the way you despise I don't think so as you would that others do unto you even so do ye also unto them how much does it cost you to put together fifteen words to take your wife in your arms and say thank you let me ask you guys something did you ever see your underwear crawl down by itself into the washing machine into the dryer and fold itself up and back up in your drawer the next day how many ever saw it if so I tell you you've been drinking too much of the wrong thing

58:23 when's the last time you thanked your wife for going in the hamper taking your dirty underwear put it in the washing dryer folding and putting it back in your drawer so you never need to go into that drawer I hope you're not maybe you're one of these two thank yous would help you know you go to an empty drawer once or twice when you're getting ready to go out to work and then maybe it'll make you appreciate it it's a little thing how much does it cost that kind of silence is sinful because the bible condemns ingratitude as sin neither were they thankful ten lepers only one returned to give thanks so you're beginning to get the idea that we need to cry to God

59:06 to overcome our sinful silence and ask God to embed the golden rule in our minds and hearts so that in every situation where communication is part of the relationship as we would that others do unto us even so we will do unto them for this is the law and the prophets as I close I can hear some of you saying Pastor Martin you've gone off the rails I'm not put together that way and nobody's going to make me that way I want you to come I mean this sincerely and show me where I've mishandled my bible

59:50 I've given you five texts of holy scripture which you say are a lamp to your feet and a light to your path and that you are bound in love to Jesus Christ to obey the word of God don't cop out by saying that's not my temperament any more than some of us who've got two and cop out and say well Lord I'm just made that way I talk too much Lord overlook it no when we talk too much and we sin with our tongues we have to confess it and for those of you temperamentally and in terms of your environment and upbringing who are too closed mouth as my wife said yesterday in a setting

60:34 talking with someone she's had to struggle with being a Vermonter all her life Vermonters keep everything locked up in here you do your business mind your business they'll mind their business and go your happy way you can't do that when you're married because his business is yours and yours is his because the two are one and no little part in real experiential marital oneness is words words words words so don't cop out that it's not your temperament not your background not your training didn't have this kind of example etc etc I want to start us by reading the passage that we'll read God willing next Lord's day

Closing: The Cross of Christ and the Call to Repentance

61:19 morning in Titus chapter 2 for some who may sit here and say well this has just been a bunch of moralistic teaching what's this have to do with the Gospel but I want you to see what it has to do with the Gospel Titus 2 verse 11 after Paul has given very practical moralistic instruction to old men young men old women young women servants then he says I'm doing all of this because, verse 11 of Titus 2, the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, instructing us to the intent that denying ungodliness,

62:04 denying things that are not like God in our actions and in our words. God's grace has come to turn you from being unlike God in your communication, teaching us that denying ungodliness and worldly lust, we should live soberly and righteously and godly in this present world, looking for the blessed hope and appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from...

62:43 From all iniquity, and purify to himself a people for his own possession, zealous, fiery, consumed with passion for good works. The good works of being godly communicators. There's a direct line between the cross of Christ and the five texts we've studied tonight. Jesus died that you and I might live in the light of what these texts tell us about sinful silence.

63:21 That's why he died. To loose your tongue to speak when it ought to speak, what it ought to speak, and how it ought to speak, and to keep it bridled when it ought not to speak. There's a direct line. The cross of Christ to this member between your cheeks and between your jaws.

63:48 And if you don't know the power of that cross, you've never gone to Christ in repentance and faith, my friend. That's where you've got to start. And that's where you continually draw strength and motivation and perspective. As by the grace of God, we seek as the Lord's people to have our tongues more and more instrumental.

64:11 As by the grace of God, we seek as the Lord's people to have our tongues more and more instrumental. As by the grace of God, we seek as the Lord's people to have our tongues more and more instrumental. of life and of grace with all those that God brings into our lives. Let's pray.

64:23 Our Father, we're so thankful that the scriptures are a lamp to our feet and a light to our pathway. We confess with shame how ungodly we have been with our tongues. We have left people hurting, confused, bleeding. When we could have healed them.

64:45 We could have helped, enlightened, direct, and guide and comfort them. If only we had opened our mouths with your words. Forgive us, Lord, our sinful silence. Forgive us who are parents who have, by our silence, left deep holes in the souls of our children.

65:10 Forgive us as husbands and wives where through our sinful silence, we've left our partners. We've left our partners frustrated, grieved, perhaps at times disillusioned. God, forgive us. Oh, forgive us.

65:27 And help us by your grace and by the power of the Spirit, looking unto Jesus as our perfect pattern, that we may more and more be those whose tongues are instruments of life and grace. Hear our prayer. And help us. For Jesus' sake.

65:48 Amen.