The Christian Man in a Wicked Generation

Gratitude for Attentive Listening and Opening Prayer

0:02 The following message was delivered at the 1994 Trinity Baptist Church Men's Retreat. Now before we pray and turn to this, our last session together, I do want to express sincerely my gratitude to each of you men who has come to this retreat and for the evident way you have given yourself to the hearing of the Word of God. Now I hope you have a pastor who tells you, at least periodically, something of what an eager, responsive listener gives to a preacher.

0:46 Now you may think that that's something hard to grasp, but it's true. And anyone who's a preacher, not just a Bible talker, or a manuscript reader, but a preacher who opens his own soul to the truth he's seeking to bring to people and opens his soul to what that truth is doing in those to whom he's bringing it will tell you that an attentive, eager, responsive congregation is in great measure the making of a preacher. And it's evident to me that you men have come hungry, thirsty,

1:27 eager to receive the Word, and as you have drawn it out of me, my own soul has not only been stretched and wrung out, but it's been refreshed by your giving of yourself to the preaching of the Word of God. And I trust that whoever ministers to you, Lord's Day by Lord's Day, will have the privilege that I've had in these few hours together. And I do sincerely thank you for your godly attention to the Word of God. And I do sincerely thank you for your godly attention to the Word of God.

1:57 And I do sincerely thank you for your godly attention to the Word of God. And I do sincerely thank you for your godly attention Now let us pray and ask God's blessing on this, our last session.

2:05 Our Father, our hearts have been thrilled in the singing of this hymn to know that by your grace, a few more breaths, a few more beating of our hearts within our breasts, and we shall join the church triumphant. O God, we thank you. And yet while we are still here, and our ears hear the throbbing, thunder of cannon in the crack of the rifle, and while our eyes smart from the smoke of battle, and while at times we grow weary, and at times we yearn to retreat,

2:48 we pray that your grace will enable us to fight the good fight of faith, and by your grace to be overcomers and inherit all of the promises that you have given to those who are in need. We pray now your blessing upon this last session together, help your servant to handle your word responsibly and under the unction of the Holy Spirit, and help these men to listen with ears and hearts, also under the present influence of the spirit of illumination, the spirit of conviction, the spirit of power,

3:32 the spirit who testifies, to the Lord Jesus. O God, meet us. Receive our thanks for the blessings received from your hand in these hours together. Accept our praise and hear our petitions we plead through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Review of Retreat Theme and Introduction to Sexual Purity

3:52 Amen. Now I don't believe we have anyone with us in this session who has not been with us in at least one of the previous two sessions, so I do not need to go through any explanation. I just want to make an extensive review simply to say that our theme for these few hours together has been the Christian man in a wicked society. And having sought to demonstrate from the scriptures that ours is indeed a wicked society according to the biblical usage of that terminology,

4:34 in the previous hour I sought to lay before you the heart of the Christian man's duty in a wicked society, and I expressed that duty under two major heads. The Christian man must seek to avoid the wickedness of this wicked generation in not allowing it to influence his thinking or his actions in any area. Stated positively, the Christian is to seek to be transformed in all of his thinking and patterns of life

5:18 in conformity to the standards of God. Now were I to have another ten messages, I would like to address some critical areas that in my judgment are of supreme importance to us as men seeking to glorify God in our present wicked society. I would like to address the biblical concept of godly manhood, the steel and the velvet that must be found in true Christ-like manhood. I would like to address the biblical view of work and labor and Sabbath,

6:00 the biblical view of recreation, entertainment, the biblical view of money and things, and godly ambition. The biblical view of courtesy and manners, a host of things in which there is so little common grace in our day, that is the influence at large in society to shape our thinking in the direction of biblical norms that when God is pleased to reach down and save the wrecks of this wicked society, many times they come into the Christian faith bereft of some of the most elementary issues that will make them into balanced,

6:45 godly, competent Christian men who can glorify God as husbands, as fathers, and in the place of their calling in life. However, I don't have ten more sessions. I have just the remains of this last session and that about fifty minutes of remains, and I must limit myself to address one very critical area. And because we live in a generation which has utterly thrown out all semblance of sensitivity to the revealed will of God in this area, both with God's revelation in nature,

7:29 or what the theologians call general revelation, and also in special revelation, the Bible, I am constrained to address this particular subject, and I trust the married men will not think that I am somehow obsessed with this subject, for remember that extra session was not something originally planned. And the issue, as you perhaps already anticipated, is the issue of a biblical view of human sexuality. If it is our duty in a wicked generation to reject all thinking and actions

8:10 that are framed by that wicked generation, and to have our thinking and actions transformed after the pattern of God's standard, then surely we will make very little progress in becoming the men God would have us to be if we do not have a well-established biblical grasp upon God's perspective on human sexuality. And I'd like to break down what I desire to set before you into several headings. First of all, I want to address the matter of a biblical view of sexual identity and function.

Biblical View of Sexual Identity and Function: Origin and Interpretation

8:54 A biblical view of sexual identity and function, and then secondly, a biblical view of sexual purity and integrity. Now, with respect to this matter of sexual identity and function, there are three things that we need to have as part and parcel of the stuff of a biblical mindset. And the first is, we must be convinced of the origin of our sexuality in God's wise, loving, creative design. We must think of our human sexuality

9:38 in terms of its origin in God's wise, loving, creative design. You see, our generation has gone crazy over sex and is drowning itself in a glut of sex and will take itself to hell amidst its illicit and base commitment to ungodly sex, fundamentally because it does not view human sexuality for what it is, namely, an expression of God's loving, wise, creative design.

10:20 A hundred years of telling people that they are nothing but animals whose ancestry can be traced back into the creatures that hop around in the bush and ultimately to the pool of primeval slime, if you tell people long enough that they are nothing but animals, eventually they'll take it seriously enough and act like animals. And animal sexuality is a matter of pure biological urges. There is no morality to the sexuality of an animal. And therefore, what we are witnessing in our generation

11:04 is just one of the many expressions and outworkings of a society that is wrong with respect to its origins in the special creative activity of God. When people tell you, well, why be so fastidious about the opening chapters of Genesis that deal with how we got here, the important thing is that we are here and what we do now that we are here our origins are unimportant. It's our identity and our function that's important. But you see, the fallacy in that thinking is that according to the Bible, our origins determine our identity and our function.

11:47 And therefore, the Bible begins where we must begin. In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And in Genesis 1.26 and following, we read, God said, Let us make man in our image and after our likeness.

12:08 And in the image of God created he him, male and female created he them. And as we saw in the previous hour in Genesis 2, in the latter part of the chapter, God gives us the specifics of how he went to great pains to create the man out of the dust of the ground and to give him his task, his calling in life, let him feel acutely his incompleteness without his counterpart. Then God takes, not of the handful of the dust which he could have done to create the counterpart,

12:52 but puts Adam to sleep, takes one of his ribs, creates a counterpart that answers to his need, brings that woman to the man and he says, This is now bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. And in those words where we have the origin of human sexuality in God's wise, loving, creative design is the foundation of all right thinking about our own sexuality. Until it is seen as that which grows out of

13:34 our unique identity as image bearers of God, we will not think rightly about human sexual identity and function. And therefore, in your own thinking and in the instruction of your children and in the discussion of this matter with others, insist upon this foundational, fundamental principle. But then secondly, our sexual identity and function not only has its origin in loving, wise, creative design, it has its interpretation in the Creator's word and actions.

14:18 It has its interpretation in the Creator's word and action. Now what do I mean by that? Well, simply this, that God did not, having made Adam and Eve male and female, simply leave them to their biological urges. But the Scripture says, no sooner did He make them in His own image, but that He blessed them and said unto them, Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it.

14:59 Surely Adam and Eve were made with sexual urges and desires. But God did not leave them to simply follow their urges. He gave them explicit, propositional, revelatory data telling them how those urges were to find expression and to what end. He commands them to be fruitful and to multiply.

15:29 And it is the Creator's word which defines the limits and sets the parameters for human sexuality. So that when we come to the Ten Commandments where God's moral law binding upon all creatures in all places in all times, God says you shall not commit adultery. My original design of giving one man to one woman and within the sanctity of the marriage covenant to find sexual fulfillment and intimacy that is not to be violated. The Tenth Commandment.

16:10 You shall not even desire your neighbor's wife. Thou shalt not covet and God gets specific, you shall not covet your neighbor's wife. And therefore throughout the Scriptures in a host of other passages some of which we considered in the previous hour, it is God's will who has by His word interpreted our sexuality and told us how it is to function. But He has also done this by His actions.

16:43 Why did God go to the trouble of doing what He did as recorded in Genesis 2 and then tell us about it? Well, when you turn to 1 Corinthians 11 and 1 Timothy 2 and 1 Corinthians 14, three passages that are dealing with various aspects of sexual function within the church. In each of those passages there is a direct reference made in the first two explicit only inferred in 1 Corinthians 14 saith not the law also the same and one may question what part of the law. But in 1 Corinthians 11 Paul establishes the fact that there is a divinely

17:28 instituted hierarchy. You have the man over the woman. You have Christ over the man. And you have God over Christ.

17:38 And he establishes that hierarchy in terms of what God did as recorded in Genesis 2. For he says the man was not made for the woman, but the woman was made for the man. God did not say it is equally true that it is not good for the woman to be alone and the man to be alone. I'll give them to each other.

18:05 No. He said it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper answering to his need. And according to the Spirit's interpretation through the mind and pen of the apostle, the Creator's action interprets the will of God with respect to sexual roles and relationships and functions.

18:31 Similarly in 1 Timothy 2, Paul says, I suffer not a woman to teach nor to usurp authority over the man. Why? For the man was created first and then the woman. And in God's action we are to understand the mind and will of God with respect to the relative roles of leadership and submission.

18:58 And so as a general principle, if we are to think biblically and not allow the world to squeeze us into its mold, and if we are more and more to be extricated from those areas where our thoughts and our actions are still influenced by this wicked generation, we must, if we are to have a biblical view of sexual identity and function, constantly remind ourselves that human sexuality has its origin in loving, wise, creative design and it has its interpretation in the Creator's word and action. To put it bluntly, sexuality is God's idea

19:43 and He knows why He made it. That's the issue. At the end of the day, God knows why He made us male and female and His intention in so doing. Well, that very briefly is a framework for thinking biblically concerning human sexuality and sexual identity.

Dominant Place of Sexual Purity in Scripture (Old Testament)

20:10 Now then, secondly, I want to spend the remainder of our time on the heading of sexual purity and integrity. And in opening up this theme, I want first of all to give a very quick overview of the dominant place that sexual purity and integrity has in the Word of God, first of all in the Old Testament and then in the New. And then secondly, I want to give a distillation of the teaching of the Word of God in seven, I think it's seven, yes, seven principles or propositions which I believe accurately reflect

20:54 the overarching teaching of the Word of God. How dominant is this matter of sexual purity and integrity in the Scriptures? Well, as we saw in the previous hour when we open up our Bibles, the account of creation is consummated with the man and the woman in total nakedness before God and before one another in the shameless embrace of marital love and intimacy. God sets sexuality before us in the opening pages of His Word.

21:27 And then when He's describing how wickedness reached such heights in the period of the flood, it's interesting that the introduction of that whole period of declension started when, the word I want is not coming, when beauty pageant measurements began to determine the choice of marriage partners rather than godliness. The whole account of the degeneracy that resulted in God's judgment in the flood begins with these words. It came to pass when men began to multiply on the face of the ground

22:12 and daughters were born unto them that the sons of God, that is, the godly line of Seth, saw the daughters of men, that is, the daughters of that line that had its origins in Cain that were godless, that were utterly irreligious, they saw the daughters of men that they were fair, and they took them wives of all that they chose. When sexual urges ceased to be sublimated to the interest of godliness, then the floods of wickedness were opened and eventually resulted

22:54 in the inundation of the whole earth in a flood of judgment. The record of Cain's detentions and his descendants sees the loss of the integrity of monogamy. It is Cain in chapter 4 who is the first bigamist and he brags about it. In verse 19, Lamech took unto him two wives.

23:19 The name of the one was Ada and the name of the other was Zillah. In verse 23, And Lamech said unto his wives, Ada and Zillah, Hear my voice, ye wives of Lamech. And then there follows upon his bigamy, his brutality, for when men begin to throw over all that is involved in the sensitivity of living with one woman in the commitment of marital fidelity, it is not long before they throw over the canons of decency and sensitivity and other human relationships and Cain the bigamist becomes Cain the brutal murderer.

24:02 And we read further on and there is only one major blot in the life of Noah. Remember what it was? He got drunk after the fall and in his drunkenness his inhibitions were down and he was in a state of nakedness. And though there was sin on the part of one of his sons, nonetheless he was guilty of that which is unseemly and shameful.

24:28 And when the Old Testament law is given amidst the many things that God forbids of his people, in Leviticus 18, 3 to 5, in 19 through 23, in Leviticus 20, 12, God has to forbid incest, forms of unnatural uncleanness, bestiality, homosexuality. God has to deal very explicitly with these forms of sexual deviation. And when we read our Old Testaments, what can we say of the shameful rape of Tamar by Amnon and her half-brother, the grievous sin of David with Bathsheba, Solomon whose heart is turned away from the living God by women,

25:12 the warnings of the Book of Proverbs and the notes that the prophets sound again and again saying that Israelites went in troops to harlots' houses. My dear brethren, the Old Testament is full of the indication of God's concern for sexual purity and integrity. His crying out against the indifference to the canons of that purity and that integrity. And when we come to the New Testament, it's no different.

Dominant Place of Sexual Purity in Scripture (New Testament)

25:47 In the Sermon on the Mount, our Lord applies the law. Thou shalt not commit adultery to looks of lust and speak some of his strongest words. In Matthew 5, 27 and following, he addresses the issue of the sanctity of marriage and of the sexual union in Matthew 19, 1 and in the many categories that list sins both by our Lord in Mark 7, 20 and following and by the Apostle, 1 Corinthians 6, 9, Galatians 5, 19 to 21, Revelation 21, 8, three of the most complete list of the categories of sins for which God will bring judgment

26:31 upon people and in all of them, sexual sins are dominant if not placed at the head of the list. And what of John the Baptist who loses his head for saying it was not lawful for a certain man to have another man's wife. He stuck his nose into another man's bedroom and said God has a right to direct what goes on. The council at Jerusalem that is going to give guidance to the infant churches about the precise relationship of Gentile Christians to the law of Moses.

27:03 Wasn't it interesting that in addition to addressing that they also said we should write to the Gentile churches commanding them to abstain from things strangled and from blood and from fornication. Fornication was thought no more evil than a man sneezing when his nose itched. And so they had to write to the churches and a cyclical letter went out in which sexual purity was one of the dominant notes. And when we turn to the epistles 1 Corinthians 6, Colossians 3, 5 and following Ephesians 5, 3 to 6 1 Thessalonians 4, 1 to 8 Hebrews 13, 4

27:47 2 Peter 2, 14 Jude 7, Revelation 2, 20 and that's only a sampling brethren. The Bible Old and New Testaments makes it plain that sexual purity and integrity is a matter of great concern to God. Now having given that altogether too brief and too hurried overview of the dominant place of this issue in the Word of God let me attempt in the time that remains to give you a distillation of the teaching of the Bible that reflects this negative positive teaching that must grip our minds and mold our lives. Number one when we look to our Bibles

Principle 1: Virginity Until Marriage

28:31 and say how should I think about sexuality with respect to virginity and marriage what does the scripture tell us? It tells us this in no uncertain terms virginity of mind and body must be an uncompromising standard until marriage. Virginity of mind and of body must be an uncompromising standard until marriage. Virginity of mind Matthew 5, 27 whosoever looks to lust has committed adultery already in his heart and then the great example

29:16 of one who refused it in mind and practices Joseph Genesis 39 and verse 7 how shall I do this great wickedness and sin against God? Potiphar's wife had the hots for Joseph and whether he was wise to let her make known her desires and not go immediately to her husband I question Joseph's action I personally believe he ought to have gone immediately but the Bible is silent that's a judgment call but this we know when she became so desperate and frustrated that she physically laid hold of him and had she the strength she would have raped him.

Principle 2: Deliberate Avoidance of Temptation

29:58 He ran and left his coat in her hands he didn't drop on his knees and pray there's a time when praying is tempting God you run and as you run pray second great principle that distills the teaching of the Bible is this deliberate avoidance of anything which leads to mental or physical fornication or adultery is mandated by God deliberate avoidance of anything which leads to mental or physical fornication or adultery is mandated by God

30:42 1 Corinthians 6.18 Flee fornication there are some sins the nature of them is such you cannot flee from the occasions of them if your besetting sin is the sin of envy at the gifts of someone who stands before you every single Sunday and leads in the worship or teaches the adult Sunday school class you can't run from that occasion of sin because it is your duty to be present in the public worship as a member of an assembly and so you've got to wrestle with that along other lines but with respect to these matters of sexual sin

31:27 whether fornication or adultery the scripture says flee run from fornication you're not going to fornicate in the middle of Main Street you single men you wouldn't fornicate in the living room of one of your church members if you knew they were in the house and I marveled that among reformed Baptist people single couples are found in each other's apartments then they come and tell their sad stories fornication

32:08 from any physical circumstances that would leave you vulnerable not only to physical fornication or adultery but mental fornication or adultery if you can't go to the 7-11 store or to the quick check to buy a paper without your eyes glancing at the porno shelves don't go to the quick check if you're going to be praying now Lord paper then don't get one you won't go to hell ignorant of what's in the paper

Principle 3: Autoeroticism as Perversion

32:52 but if you're a deliberate mental adulterer you'll go to hell so stop whining and start avoidance of anything that leads to mental or physical fornication or adultery is mandated by God thirdly any auto eroticism that's self-terminating sexual stimulation in the poor man's language that's masturbation any auto eroticism is a perversion

33:36 of God's design and contrary to the will of God now I know there are certain Christian leaders who would cry out that's not so but I believe the Bible's case is clear when I read in 1 Corinthians 7 to avoid pornea to avoid sexual impurity what does he say sublimate your sexual drives by self-terminating sexual stimulation he says no get a wife the outlet for sexual burning is not playing with yourself

34:19 the outlet is the sanctity of the sex act in marriage if a man burns he says it is better to marry than to burn with sexual passion that text alone as far as I'm concerned bears the weight of that principle any auto eroticism is a perversion of God's design and contrary to the will of God but go to the deeper issue the very nature of our sexuality God made the man for the woman and the woman for the man and in Romans 1 we read leaving the natural use of the woman they burned in their lust one to another the principle is that does not nature itself

35:04 teach you that sexuality is not to be sexualized it is not to be sexualized it is not to be sexualized it is not self terminating I have been given my male sexuality that I might render to my God given wife her due not render to myself my due and she has been given her feminine sexuality that she might render to me her due and though feminism has almost deified masturbation amongst women in their vicious attempt to say that she is a woman and that she is a woman and that she is a woman and that she is a woman you don't need a man for anything that's what lies behind the glut

35:48 of books being produced almost rhapsodizing on the benefits of masturbation amongst women it's the feminist attempt to say you don't need a man for anything even your deepest sexual fulfillment and that's the philosophical drive behind it but against all of that we dare to say that there is no reason to believe that masturbation is a perversion of God's design contrary to the will of God I personally believe it fits under the category that is not often

36:33 discussed when these things are brought forward you have moikoia adultery pornea you have fornication and sexual uncleanness in Galatians 5 19 in Romans 1 24 and I believe this is one of the sins that fits in the category of uncleanness fourth principle if you're taking notes hope you got lots of ink in your pen because this is a mouthful but you are men you're not boys you're not kids and I want you to have this so you can break it down with your own children

Principle 4: Marriage as the Only Context for Intimacy

37:16 you got to take a call and that's in Galatians 5 19 I don't know exactly the name of this but this is a story that I have and you need to know what it is and you need to know what it is that you want I have just

38:00 written All that precedes it. Heterosexual, monogamous, only one, permanent, but God has joined together, let not man put a sender. Marriage is the only God-ordained context for God honoring sexual intimacy and all that precedes it.

38:26 And by that I am referring to caressing, sexual foreplay, and those matters connected with those terms. We see this in creation. We see it in the Song of Solomon. We see it in 1 Corinthians 7, 1-5.

38:46 We see it in Hebrews 13, 4. Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed, what bed? The bed of a duly constituted. Monogamous, heterosexual marriage, and the bed undefiled. The Bible knows nothing of trial, bedding down. The Bible knows nothing of so-called constructive incest.

39:13 Books being written to tell fathers, you are the most natural one to introduce your daughter to her budding sexuality, and actually promoting this. That is what is out there, men. I don't read the books, but I read the things that review the books and say what's being printed.

39:38 That's the wickedness when you will have men who will rationalize in their consciences that to deflower their daughters was a noble act of parenting. Be not conformed to this world. Would to God in my study of a Reformed Baptist church I've never had to deal. With fathers or grandfathers playing with their daughters or their granddaughters. But I've had to.

40:09 And let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. Settle in your mind that anything that is erotic stimulation of any kind is legitimate only.

40:29 Monogamous, permanent, marital commitment. And then any kind of physical contact you have with any woman. From your own daughters to sisters in the church. The moment you feel that twinge in your crotch.

Principle 5: Fulfilling Legitimate Sexual Needs in Marriage

40:59 If you don't, you let that little glow and ember of illicit sexual pleasure take root and you don't know what you will do. Marriage partners must make conscience of fulfilling each other's legitimate sexual needs. That's the fifth great principle found in the scriptures. Marriage partners must make conscience.

41:41 Do you pray only when you feel like it? No. You pray as a matter of conscience. Do you go to church only when you feel like it? No. It's a matter of conscience.

41:52 I have God given duty. When duty merges with delight and when delight precedes and follows duty. Hallelujah! But when nothing but dullness goes before duty.

42:03 And nothing but dullness comes behind duty. I'd far rather confess that I did my duty with a dull heart than have to confess I had a dull heart and also failed to do my duty. Now I've got double sin. Now that's what I mean about making conscience.

42:24 Marriage partners must make conscience of fulfilling each other's legitimate sexual needs. And though my nest is empty and my children are all grown. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that.

42:35 I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm the second oldest of ten kids, so I've always been around little kids.

42:40 I'm not so far removed that I can't remember what it was like and the pressures of little ones all under five years of age. Yes, it's not easy. Sickness comes and seems to make the rounds through the house. But listen, brethren, if you're convinced that this is a matter of duty, you will so order the priorities of time and recreation and all the other variables.

43:07 That in the midst of all of the pressures of life, this aspect of your relationship with your wife will be a wonderful haven of retreat and be a means of God to keep you from being vulnerable to sexual impurity. Marriage partners must make conscience of fulfilling each other's legitimate sexual needs. Principle number six.

Principle 6: Guarding the Sanctuary of Sexual Intimacy

43:34 Marriage partners must jealously guard the sacred, sacred sanctuary of their sexual intimacy. Marriage partners must jealously guard the sacred sanctuary of their sexual intimacy. Job did this when he said in Job 31, I have made a covenant with my eye that I should not look upon a maiden,

44:07 indicating that had he made no such covenant as a red-blooded man, he would have found himself drawing visual delight from the body of someone other than his wife. God could say to the old man Ezekiel in Ezekiel 24, 16, This day I will take away from you the desire of your eyes. Of all the ways he could describe Ezekiel's wife. He said, you lusty old man, I'm going to kill your wife.

44:38 He didn't say the delight and desire of your heart. He said, I'm going to take away the desire of your eyes.

44:47 I love the earthiness of the Bible. God knew that Ezekiel still looked at his wife with that look in his eye. He said, this day I'm going to take away the desire of your eyes. And Ezekiel didn't have to say which one, Lord.

45:03 Only one was the desire of his eyes. And that was the wife of his youth. The passages in Proverbs 5, 15 to 21, the Song of Solomon, Jealously guard the sacred sanctuary of your sexual intimacy by watching your eyes. Secondly, by being very careful about what you say to anyone about your intimate relationship to your wife.

45:35 It should not be a subject of group conversation when the guys get together. That's to allow an invasion into a sacred sanctuary. Sanctuary. Sanctuary.

45:47 Sanctuary. Sanctuary. Sanctuary. Sanctuary.

45:47 Sanctuary. Sanctuary. Sanctuary. Sanctuary.

45:47 Sanctuary. Sanctuary. Sanctuary. That's being approved.

45:49 That's being a noble man who does not allow the eyes of others to enter the sanctuary of his bedroom by means of careless conversation. Establish it as a principle that you will never discuss with another person anything to do with your intimate life without the full consent of your wife. And that, if at all possible, with a proven, mature saint, a pastor, an elder, Jealously guard the sacred sanctuary.

Principle 7: Resisting Undermining Influences

46:25 And finally, singles and married Christians alike must resist all influences that mock, erode, or undermine these standards that I've articulated. Singles and married Christians alike must resist all of the influences that mock, erode, or undermine these standards that I've articulated. Singles and married Christians alike must resist all of the influences that mock, erode, or undermine these standards that I've articulated. What am I talking about?

47:03 I'm talking about the vast majority of TV sitcoms. I'm talking about all of the soaps. I'm talking about the majority of popular magazines. I'm talking about the majority of popular music, particularly country music, because this is what happens.

47:27 Follow closely. If you can listen as entertainment to that which is a flaunting of these standards, that which speaks of adultery and infidelity as the theme of the lyrics in the song, that is the subplot or the overt plot of the sitcom or the movie, whatever it is you're watching on the TV or on your VCR, what you look upon without shock and grief and holy hatred, what you look upon without shock and grief and holy hatred, what you look upon without shock and grief and holy hatred, it will not be long before accepting it as something that's no big deal in your own emotional and spiritual response you have let down the barriers to be vulnerable to those very sins. it will not be long before accepting it as something that's no big deal in your own emotional and spiritual response you have let down the barriers to be vulnerable to those very sins. it will not be long before accepting it as something that's no big deal in your own emotional and spiritual response you have let down the barriers to be vulnerable to those very sins.

48:09 it will not be long before accepting it as something that's no big deal in your own emotional and spiritual response you have let down the barriers to be vulnerable to those very sins. it will not be long before accepting it as something that's no big deal in your own emotional and spiritual response you have let down the barriers to be vulnerable to those very sins. The psalmist said, I esteem all of thy precepts concerning all things to be right. Therefore, I hate every false way.

48:27 And if you're truly esteeming God's precepts to be right, you'll hate every false way. And when you cease to hate the false way, it won't be long before you'll be vulnerable to the false way. And I'm convinced that many a man who never, never thought he would descend to a frightening addiction to pornography and eventually even to infidelity, to stooping to plunking out his 50 bucks for a harlot and a one-hour stand. And I've had to deal with men, I have no doubt, are Christians over the years who have done all of those things and more.

49:09 I'm not talking as a theorist.

49:12 The first time they sat and watched a movie because it had some action or had a plot that was innocent in itself and was of interest to them, but the subplot was infidelity. And because they couldn't mortify the lust for that which was legitimate, they opened their soul to see the illegitimate and the illicit. And there was no shock and horror. There was sort of a grudging toleration, but the next time the toleration was easier.

49:42 And what's happening, there's an eroding of the internal spiritual vigor of hating the false way when it's out there objectively seen. And before long, it's not hated in the heart.

49:58 Then there's the vulnerability to the pornography. And after a while, the fantasies aren't enough, and then you've got to pursue them. And then a Christian man is found picking up a hooker. It just can't happen.

50:16 Don't be so... willfully naive.

50:20 If the man after God's own heart rises from his bed at eventide and looks and lusts and lays and then murders, who in God's name do you think you are that you can look and look and look and look and never have it catch up with you?

50:42 Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.

Call to Confession, Forgiveness, and Parental Education

50:50 Well, in closing, what word do I have for some of you who may be in, who may be in, who may be enmeshed in some form of sexual bondage and deviation? My word to you is this. Get honest with God and get honest with some trusted spiritual guide and get the whole mucky mess out. For he that covers his sins shall not prosper.

51:15 And remember, a day is coming when what is done in secret, Jesus said, shall be shouted from the rooftops. The scripture says, Confess your sins one to another. And pray one for another. And as ashamed as you may feel, listen to this text.

51:33 All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven the sons of men, except blasphemy against the Holy Ghost. And as I understand it, blasphemy against the Holy Ghost is a settled disposition to attribute the patent work of Christ to the devil himself. And I do not believe there's any man here who's committed, therefore all manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven. That sordid closet full of addiction to pornographic magazines and perhaps you even sneaked into peep shows and you've gone by so-called adult bookstores

52:16 and even your wife doesn't know of your patterns of secret masturbation and all the rest. My dear brother, there is forgiveness. All manner of sin and blasphemy. All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven.

52:31 But you must confess and forsake.

52:38 If you're enmeshed, you need no longer be enmeshed. Whom the Son sets free is free indeed. And if you're a Christian man who by the grace of God, in spite of all of the rotten influences that were brought to bear upon you in your childhood, in the absence of positive biblical instruction, God has saved you and put your feet in a path of purity, and though you're haunted with the memories, in a sense, some of you don't need to pick up a pornographic flick. You can just push a button in your brain and you've got reels of it.

53:15 And you're the actor in the reels. And my heart breaks for you. I've fought more than once in situations of intimacy with my own wife. I thank God I have no memory of ever having another woman there.

53:28 And my heart breaks for some of you that must struggle. But the horrible flashing upon the walls of your mind of the memory of past experiences. But remember, my dear brother, Christ is forgiven and cleansed. And by degrees, he can scrub the walls.

53:49 And by the power of his grace, you can be a man who knows sexual integrity and purity by the renewing and the restorative grace of God. And I plead with you, if you're a father, be your sons and daughters' chief sex educator by the climate that you create in your home of a wholesome, happy, playful, biblical, sexual intimacy with your wife, chastely expressing your affection for her before the children in ways appropriate to the kitchen and to the living room and to the dining room,

54:34 and then carry with you out of your bedroom, that glow which, as they get older, they'll know where it came from. It's wonderful when kids have to walk by a mom and dad in a clinch by the kitchen sink and say, oh, you two at it again. Oh, they love it. And they're getting a marvelous sex education.

54:57 And then as they get older, you be the one that tells your sons and daughters what these strange powers are that are beginning to emerge in their emergent life. You be the one to sit down with the book of Proverbs and warn them of the sins and the temptations that now lie before them. I trust you'll have the joy as I did with one of my own daughters the week before she was married. I came down from a counseling session, went into my bedroom to get my nightclothes on, and she was kind of hanging around.

55:35 And I said, what is it, honey? She said, Dad, I just realized, in a week's time, I won't be able to come into the bedroom and talk to my dad, be my husband. And so, fully clothed, I lay down on the bed on top of the covers. She lay down next to me and put her head on the crook of my shoulder and snuggled up to me.

55:56 And I first of all said, Lord, thank you that my daughter can come to marriage and feel absolutely comfortable snuggling up to her dad on his own bed because there never had been any kind of illusion. There was no illicit erotic interaction. And then as we began to talk and I began to tell her in a discreet way what this new dimension of her life would mean to think that as a father, I could speak to my daughter under the eye of God and in the presence of God, one of the most precious moments in my life. Having picked up the facts of life in the street, I'll never forget it.

56:40 It's as vivid as though it were yesterday. I could take you to Stanford, Connecticut to the corner where some kid told me what my father had to do to my mother to get me started. I was ready to go home and beat him up. And I determined never will my kids get it that way.

56:55 I can remember the morning when in the Saturdays, when I would have extra devotions with my son going through the book of Proverbs and he began to ask the questions. No longer was he satisfied to know where babies came from. The daddy planted the seed and the mummy wanted to know how the daddy planted. I said, now it's time to sit and go through Susie's babies, that little book.

57:20 And in the midst of it, he had some questions about the physiology of a man. And I took down my anatomy chart and showed him how God put him together. And I'll never forget him saying, dad, isn't it great how God's made us? And we got on our knees in my study and thank God for the way he had made him.

57:38 Though some of you know, the subsequent history of my son has been enough to break an angel's heart. I thank God that I have a, a clear conscience that it isn't because I was prudish, simply silent and carnally reserved about doing what a dad's supposed to do and being the holy sanctified, wise sex educator of his children. What chance are they going to have to get the biblical view? If you don't impart it by example in prison, what chance do they have?

Closing Prayer and Benediction

58:15 God help us. God help us. Our father, we thank you for your holy word. And we thank you that as you've called us to walk no longer as the Gentiles walk in the vanity of their mind, as you have called us to walk, not being conformed to this world, but transformed by the renewing of our minds.

58:48 We thank you that your word is sufficient to do that work in this delicate but vital area of human sexuality. Thank you. And we pray that this company of men will indeed think your thoughts after you and reflect your norms in their lives. And that we may in this way be salt and light in our generation.

59:13 Thank you for these hours together. Thank you. Our father that in the midst of an age of grievous religious apostasy, you are still creating a hunger in the hearts of. Some for the pure preaching of the word, creating a hunger that these men would take time out of busy schedules to calm, knowing that their consciences would be plowed up in their mind, stretched, putting out money and time to have dealings with you.

59:44 Lord, we rejoice that you have not utterly forsaken us. Oh, that your work may crease and abound and that we may yet see a turning to yourself in a wide, scale measure that would cause us to say with the psalmist. When the Lord turned the captivity of Zion, we were like unto them that dream. Then was our mouth filled with laughter in our tongue with singing.

60:11 Then said they among the nations, the Lord has done great things for us where of we are glad watch over us. Now, as we make our way to our homes for the brethren who have greater distances to travel, protect, them grant that we may be refreshed. They are wives and children know that we have been with you. May your glory descend upon all of the assemblies represented here this afternoon.

60:40 Oh, may the churches know the living, mighty presence of the spirit himself. Hear our cry, receive our thanks and Lord, whatever has been sinful in the preacher's words, in our listening, in our responses, all wash us a fresh in the blood of your dear son. And may we rest joyfully in the knowledge that we are accepted in the beloved one. We ask in his worthy name.

61:12 Amen.