Exhortation to Modest Dress; Prioritizing Schedules

Introduction: Context and Purpose of Exhortation

0:01 This adult Sunday school class was held on June 10, 1984, at the Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey. Now, as some of you know, Professor Martin will be away for the next two Lord's Days today and the following. He is visiting with relatives. Ostensibly, this is vacation time for him, but in reality, it's fulfilling some of the obligations of those family ties that God has given to all of us.

0:36 And this morning, subsequent to a relatively brief word of exhortation that I will give you, the time will be open for general discussion on matters pertaining to the Word of God, the Christian life, passages perhaps that have been preached upon, subjects that have been opened up in recent days, concerning which you deserve. Our further light and clarification, we call them our open forum sessions, and the only stipulation is that the leader of the class reserves the right to make a judgment as to whether or not the question raised would be of general edification if we were to attempt to answer it. So, let us ask God's blessing now upon the word of exhortation that I propose to bring, and then in our subsequent time of discussion together. Let us pray. Our Father, how good it has been to lift up our voices in praise to you for all of creation. We acknowledge that even as we bow before you, there are great creatures of the sea, seen only by your eye, and yet by the vastness of their size and the intricacy of their whole life pattern, glorify you before angels and all creatures aware of their existence.

2:01 Amen. We thank you that sun, moon, and stars continually speak of your glory, but how we thank you for that glory that radiates from your holy word, by which we know your mind and will for all aspects of our lives. Lead us then, as I bring this word of exhortation, and then as we further discuss matters of mutual interest and concern, may your spirit be present, taking the things of Christ, and of your truth, and revealing them to us with grace and with power, we ask through our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

The Call to Modest Dress in Warm Weather

2:44 Now, the word of exhortation that I wish to bring to you is one that probably about once every three years, in one form or another, I bring when we stand on the threshold of intensely warm weather, and simply stated, it is just this. Amen. Amen. Amen.

3:02 Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

3:02 Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

3:02 Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

3:02 Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

3:02 Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

3:02 Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

3:03 Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

3:03 Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

3:03 Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

3:03 Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

3:04 Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

3:04 Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

3:04 Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

3:05 Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

3:21 Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

3:21 Amen. Amen. we are in the house of God, in our own houses, in our own backyards, at a local pool, or down at the shore, or at a lake where we may choose to go and bathe in a public situation. Now for those of you who are new to us or visiting with us, let me preface our consideration of this subject by way of exhortation with the statement that is obvious to all of you who have been with us for some time, namely, we do not believe that the Bible majors in giving us a long list of externals with respect to the subject of our clothing.

Biblical Principles for Christian Lifestyle and Appearance

3:57 We do not believe that it's a proper use of the Bible to take a passage out of Deuteronomy and say when it says a woman shall not wear that which appertaineth to a man, that means a woman should never wear slacks. That's condemning what we would call the transvestite lifestyle, a person wearing slacks with a view to looking and acting like a man. I'm mixing the sexual roles, but in many cases, femininely constructed slacks, in a very real sense, are more modest and more feminine than some other forms of clothing. So for you who are not aware of our position as a church and may have come out of a background where there are all kinds of rules and regulations, a blouse had to be at least two inches below the crook of the elbow and all the rest, we have absolutely no sympathy for that kind of legalism. But at the same time, though, we have no sympathy for that kind of legalism. The Bible does teach, first of all, and I want us to look at several passages, that our general lifestyle is to reflect the power of the gospel and that clothing is a part of that general lifestyle. First of all, then, in Philippians chapter 2, and I want to give you just three key passages out of the epistles to start with.

5:16 In Philippians chapter 2, Paul is addressing a specific issue with the Philippians, namely the matter of the gospel. The manner in which they carry out their work and their God-given responsibilities, Philippians 2.14, do all things without murmurings and questionings. A contemporary idiomatic translation would be, do all things without grumbling and grousing.

5:41 In other words, do what you do in the will of God with joy and cheerfulness as unto the Lord. Now, here's his great concern. In order that you may become blameless. Blameless and harmless, children of God without blemish, in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation among whom you are seen as lights of the world.

6:06 So Paul's concern with regard to this matter of their doing all things without grousing and complaining is that in so doing they may fill their God-given role as blameless Christians shining as lights in the midst of the world. In other words, the assumption is that the crookedness and perversity is dark to the children who are in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation. So no matter where we are, whatever the circumstances may be, whatever our environment, whatever the weather, a Christian is always to aim at being blameless, harmless, a child of God without blemish, shining as a light in the midst of a perverse and crooked generation. In other words, the assumption is that the crookedness and perversity is dark to the is darkness. The Christian's lifestyle is light in the midst of that darkness. And then Ephesians chapter 4, another passage of general nature. This I say therefore, verse 17, this I say therefore and testify in the Lord, now here's a contrast, that you no longer walk as the Gentiles also walk in the vanity of their mind, that is the emptiness of their thought patterns about God and morality and life, which also reaches right down into the realm of their clothing. Don't walk as the Gentiles in the vanity, the emptiness of their

7:33 mind, being darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardening of the heart, who being past feeling, now notice the results of this tragic state of mind and heart, gave themselves up to let go. They give themselves up to lasciviousness to work all uncleanness with greediness or with covetousness. So one of the marks of the outcropping and the fruition of the darkened mind of the heathen hordes is that in that state they give themselves up to lasciviousness to work uncleanness with greediness. And surely, if anything characterizes our generation, it is its almost, what would we call, addictive obsession with body worship, the obsession with sex and dressing and using perfumes and whatever else we have with a view to being sexually seductive, male and female. And so Paul says you are not to walk as the Gentiles walk.

8:51 Your lifestyle is to reflect not a darkened mind, a vain mind, but an enlightened mind, a mind that reflects that we have been taught of Christ. Verse 20, you did not so learn Christ. And that leads us very naturally then to Romans chapter 12 verses 1 and 2. Romans chapter 12 verses 1 and 2, I beseech you therefore, brethren by the mercies of God, to present your bodies.

9:23 The totality of your redeemed humanity, a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service. And do not be fashioned according to this world or this present age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God. We are to remember that the response of our hearts to the mercy of God is the same as the response of our hearts to the mercy of God. The mercy of God to us in Jesus Christ is to be that constant posture of presenting the totality of our redeemed humanity as a living sacrifice. And as that sacrifice lives itself out, it is to be in nonconformity to the spirit of this age and constantly putting to the test and proving in our own experience the will of God, that which is good, acceptable and perfect. Now, when you take those three passages, we are to shine as lights, we are not to walk as the other Gentiles walk, we are not to be conformed to this world but transformed by the renewing of our minds, you see that there is a biblical theology of a Christian's perspective on the matter of his externals, even in warm, uncomfortable, hot, muggy weather

10:48 in New Jersey between June and August or November. So a Christian is not exempt from these broad perspectives pertaining to his witness, his mindset with respect to himself and the image that he bears before a world and because we do not live in a blind world, that concern with respect to being blameless and harmless must touch our external appearance. Of necessity it does. Now as it does.

Avoiding Causing Others to Stumble and Mortifying Lust

11:22 What are to be our fundamental concerns, apart from these broad areas of biblical directive, blameless, harmless, not walking as the Gentiles? Well, in Luke chapter 17, we have one of them very specifically, Luke 17, one and two, and he said unto his disciples, it is impossible but that occasions of stumbling should come. In other words, the world being what it is, sinful man being what he is. As long as these two conditions obtain, sinful man and sinful world, it's necessary, it's impossible but that occasions of stumbling should come.

12:06 Sinners will always find occasions to sin in this present world. But he says, woe to him through whom they come. It were well for him if a millstone were hanged about his neck and he were thrown into the sea. rather than that he should cause one of these little ones to stumble.

12:27 Take heed to yourselves.

12:31 Now, the world being what it is, men and women being what they are, our lust of the mind, expressing itself many times in actual illicit sexual desire and activity, will be with us to the end of the age. Nobody's going to stamp out those ugly realities except Jesus Christ at his return. However, the text says, Woe be to the person through whom the occasion of sin comes. Now, as I've said on many occasions, some men are so perverse that they would lust after a woman if she were dressed in a gunny sack.

13:09 And some women are so perverse they'd lust after a man if he were dressed in a gunny sack. Now, granted, that's true. But on the other hand, there is a way of dressing and non-dressing and partial dressing which obviously...

13:24 ...are unnecessarily provocative of lust.

13:28 And God says, if you are the occasion particularly of provoking a brother or sister to sin because of your carelessness, God will hold you accountable. Now, that puts a tremendous weight on your own conscience. Now, notice, it doesn't put a weight on you to go around judging others. It puts a weight on you to judge yourself.

13:49 It puts a weight on you to feel this pressure. Am I in any way...

13:54 ...carrying myself in my external appearance and bearing as to unnecessarily provoke a brother, a sister to the sin of lust?

14:07 For we remind you of Jesus' clear statement in Matthew 5. We're all familiar with it, that the essence of adultery is not simply the taking of another man's wife or husband and cohabiting with him or her.

14:24 But we are told in verse... Verse 28 of Matthew 5.

14:28 I say unto you, everyone that looks on a woman to lust after her, that is, who looks with an intent to lust, has committed adultery with her already in his heart. And now the attention in this passage, you see, is turned upon our own mortification. If I have a problem here, I'm to be concerned with mortifying myself. So you see the balancing emphasis.

14:55 I'm to be concerned... I'm to be concerned that there's nothing in me that unnecessarily provokes another to sin, and I'm to be constantly concerned that I do whatever is necessary in my own lifestyle, that I'm not unnecessarily vulnerable to the temptation that comes from others.

15:10 You see the balance? Now some people, all they're concerned about is the latter. Some people, all they're concerned about is the former. But the Lord Jesus lays both upon us.

The World's Influence on Dress and the Need for Modesty

15:21 And so as we approach these hot, muggy summer months, there is something that is more important to you and to me as Christians than simply being comfortable. And what is important is that we be thoroughly Christian in our external appearance and bearing. Now increasingly, everything from what is considered acceptable appearance in public to what is considered acceptable non-apparel on beaches, the emphasis is falling upon...

15:57 on the exposure of more and more skin with a view to titillation through the eyeballs.

16:07 One cannot even take up a Sears catalog now and thumb through it with a view to seeing latest styles. It's like looking at almost pornographic literature. I will not thumb through a Sears catalog anymore or a J.C. Penney's catalog.

16:24 The stuff that appears in terms of women's bathing suits 15 years ago is the stuff that appeared in the early Playboy magazines.

16:34 And we as the people of God by degrees can become insensitive to those things and without realizing it, we let the world squeeze us into its mold.

16:45 And I know it's difficult for you women who want to find a modest bathing suit. You may spend days, my own wife and daughters at times have spent days and I don't know how many miles they've logged in the car and on foot trying to find the modest bathing suit. I know it's a pain in the neck. And you think there might be a reason for that.

17:03 You think there might be enough Christians that if someone were to simply open up a shop called the modesty shop for swimwear, they'd have all the business they could have. This might be a good idea for some one of you entrepreneurs to think of that. But be that as it may, I know it's difficult. But difficult as it may be, the scripture says in 1 Timothy 2, 9 that a Christian woman is to dress modestly and the Bible does not indicate anywhere that our clothing is a modesty.

17:33 Our clothing is a matter of moral neutrality. Solomon said, I saw a woman with the attire of a harlot. The harlot displays her wares and you display your wares and people will think that there's some harlotry in your heart. And I must speak to the men because something has happened in the past five years in particular.

17:51 The term that's now used and it's, I hate to even use it, but it's used. Boy, he's a hunk. We're going out hunk hunting. That's women talking now.

18:01 There's this obsession now with women. Looking for the fellow with the trim waist and with the hardened muscles on his shoulders and his biceps. And there is the leering eye more and more from women, young and old alike. And we as men must seek under God to be careful that there is nothing in our external appearance which unnecessarily gives any signals that we are playing to that mindset.

18:31 Now for some of us, that will mean eradication. Radical re-altering of portions of our wardrobe. So be it. It may mean you'll have to go to someone in the church who's a good seamstress and have some things adjusted.

18:44 So what? If we are determined to shine as lights in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, we will lay this to heart. Now, I want to say one further thing and then I'm done with my word of exhortation.

Parental Responsibility in Teaching Modesty

18:59 And here I want to speak very frankly to you parents. If you have brought up your children in that context of earthy modesty, which Pastor Nichols spoke about. That's not quite the terminology used. What was the terminology?

19:14 Was that it? That's close enough. If you've brought up your children in a context in which human sexuality has not been something that

19:24 but the climate of the book of Proverbs and God in his grace, particularly has kept your daughters. If you have daughters, they simply don't have a clue of how easily men are. Triggered by their eyeballs. They don't have a clue of what shorts that come down just over the swell of the buttocks or just above it do to a man.

19:47 They don't have a clue and fathers in the name of the God of heaven. Please tell them. Sit your dear daughters down and tell them tell them in no uncertain terms. How men are triggered visually.

20:04 If you don't tell them who's going to tell them and you mothers. You and your husband have a good relationship and good wholesome biblical sexuality, then surely you ought to be able to speak to your daughters along these lines as well. And then to guide them not to pounce all over them in their innocency. And especially with their peer pressure a certain style of clothing comes in and they want to be a part of it.

20:31 They don't want to feel like they've been left in the Dark Ages. And for most teenage kids three months behind the latest styles is Dark Ages and in their excitement. And take them home and say mom. Look what I found at the mall today in this nice.

20:43 You don't need to just pounce all over and say how you look like a little whore. No, no, it's have her put it on and say well dear in many ways. It does look nice. However, there is something that concerns me.

20:54 Have you gone in and held up the mirror and see how that looks from behind? Well, no, look, let me show you. You can tactfully graciously speak to your daughters and explain to them these fundamental issues and I plead with you as parents. To do it and I say that with two of my own daughters sitting here and I say it with a clear conscience.

21:16 I have done it and continue to do it to this day and they don't think I'm a dirty minded old man. They're grateful for a father who's sought to teach them what perverse creatures fallen men are and what vulnerable creatures even Godly men are because Grace does not neutralize hormones nor does Grace totally expunge from the human heart. It's inordinate must so I plead with you moms and dads speak to your daughters speak to your sons seek to inculcate by example in precept modesty and as we stand on the threshold of these months when so many particularly of our young men almost wish God would give them temporarily temporary blindness and I could almost wish it at times myself. I'm just so thankful that the majority of my work is done in my study and I don't have to go. Out and see the veritable Main Street Sodom that this entire area becomes during the summer months and my field for you men who must look upon things day after day in the performance of your tasks that vex your soul. I feel for you but may God grant that whenever you enter into association with God's people you'll say thank God.

22:35 Here's an oasis of modesty in the midst of all of that raw flesh. What a tragedy if men of God. God in this church will have to dread even coming to a gathering of God's people because they have to be tortured with all of the immodestly exposed flesh that they see in the world. May we be an oasis to one another and encouragement to one another and God help us in these things to take the word of God to heart.

Principles Over Rules: Applying Modesty

23:02 Now frankly I don't know how anyone can be offended at what I said and the way I said if you are I'm sorry but I've spoken out of the fullness of my own pastoral. I believe I have spoken according to the principles of the word of God. Now I know sooner do that than I know what you're going to want to do. You're going to want rules and regulations and I ain't going to give them to you because the Bible doesn't.

23:25 Well would you say that shorts ought to be down to within one inch of the knee? No I would not say that they must be within one inch of the knee. Well would you say that bathing suits ought no I am not making rules and regulations. I can't make them based on the word of God.

23:41 You must take these principles. And get down before God and say Lord how do they apply to the specifics of my situation. You men my household my wife my daughters my own bearing and demeanor as a man mine as a woman mine as a young man as a young one. So may the Lord help us to lay these eggs this exhortation to heart on the threshold of these months.

24:07 Well I've taken about 20 minutes for my exhortation that still leaves us 25 minutes. You want to add anything to that Pastor Nichols. All right. Now if there are general questions you want to know how many inches and I'm sorry I won't answer them.

24:23 But if there are general questions that go out of this or further biblical perspectives you'd like to add to that. It would be proper to carry this on. But I'm not I'm not anxious that we carry it on. I think the basic perspectives have been laid before you.

24:37 So the time is open for more general questions regarding the word of God and the Christian life. I have an exhortation. I'll take you into silence. Yes Jim.

Handling Immodesty in Unconverted Visitors

24:57 In relationship to what you were just speaking about Pastor the problem perhaps may arise when we have people coming who may not know the Lord and are not aware of this principle. Perhaps they may by knowing this cause of stumbling. How can we handle that? All right.

25:19 This is one of the things I was speaking about several weeks ago when I mentioned that Jesus was the friend of publicans and sinners. And we must in our dealing with the unconverted not expect the external to change before the internal changes. Now if we had someone show up at church whose presence was so blatantly immodest that it would be scandalous. I would hope that one of the elders would discreetly simply take that woman aside and say look.

25:54 We don't put a lot of emphasis on. Externals or that man that were a man. But we do feel that the worship of God must be carried on in a way that would not be unnecessarily distracted. Would you mind just maybe we ought to keep a couple of shawls.

26:10 Would you mind just putting this shawl over your shoulders. Now Pastor Blaze actually did that. He actually did that. There was a woman who came in and she was she was kind of defiant and had her chin out.

26:23 And one day she came in dressed very immodestly. And Pastor Blaze just went right down and sent her man out. You will not come into the house of God looking like a harlot. You want to come back in put this over your shoulders.

26:40 And he gave her a shawl to put over her shoulders and marched her right out. Well there may be a time when we'll have to do that. However hopefully that time will not come. Should it come I hope we'll be men enough to deal with it if we're aware of it.

26:53 On the other hand what we must learn is to take people. Where they are and if God brings us raw worldlings their worldliness will not only be evident in their general lifestyle but in their speech and many times in their clothing. And so that's where we need to have grace as the people of God to take them where they are to pray for grace to bear with that expression of their worldliness until God is pleased to give them a sense that they're out of place dressed the way they are and we have seen this. We have seen people who have converted people whose dress has become more modest as they've sat under the word of God even before they've been converted and hopefully then we would not pounce on them and please if there's ever anything of this nature leave that judgment to the proven guides in the church. Don't take upon yourself to make the judgment. Well I think this person ought to be rebuked you leave that judgment to those of us who are officially charged with the oversight and care and government of Christ house and you try to meet. A person where he or she is and hopefully your own appearance will immediately be a rebuke the same way a clean mouth man is a rebuke to a foul mouth man how many times those of us in the world particularly if we've moved with the most foul of the foul mouthed in construction work we found that just our absence of using that kind of language makes

28:19 them feel embarrassed and they'll say oh sorry didn't mean I mean didn't mean to let that come out in your presence. Well what's true of our speech? Hopefully will be true of our clothes. Our clothing as well and that they will see in us a standard that will begin to sensitize their conscience that's Philippians to shine as a light that exposes darkness.

28:38 Now they may not like it at first because men love darkness rather than light neither will they come to the light lest their deeds should be reproved but we will need to cultivate that kind of grace that Jesus had when he met with that woman at the well there's no indication that he started in rebuking her about her external appearance. Now there may have been nothing about her appearance that reflected her lifestyle however there may have been but Jesus began with the internal issues and we'll need grace from God to bear with those matters and see beyond the things that may shock us the same way when Jesus went after that naked man possessed of the demon he first of all cast out the demon then he was found clothed and in his right mind Jesus went to the internal spiritual problem. And then the other. That's the prayer of itself. All right?

Cultural Sensitivity and Liberties in Indifferent Matters

29:29 Yes. Well I think here's a larger question of what do we do in terms of matters of indifference

30:20 in a multicultural situation. Now I believe we could prove from Scripture. That. Appearing in the worship of God with or without socks is a matter of indifference.

30:33 There's nothing in God's law that demands that we wear or not wear socks or sandals in our worship. Every indication is that when Jesus and his disciples went into the synagogues, they went in barefooted because they wore their sandals, and that's why foot washing was a common practice. When they came in from wherever they were coming from, you'll remember that they would wash the feet, and Jesus took the role of a servant and washed the disciples' feet. They didn't have socks to keep the dirt off the feet.

31:02 So in that particular situation, apparently the worship of God, even at the temple, was carried on in a barefooted or simply a sandaled manner, and no offense was given. But in our situation, we need to be sensitive to what we would call the generally prevailing cultural expectation of the kind of dress that we wear. The kind of dress that is befitting for a serious social gathering such as church. If I may describe it that way, a PTA meeting would be considered a serious social gathering.

31:37 Everyone who's sensitive to our cultural standards and mores would know that the way you dress at a PTA meeting is different from the way you would dress at a backyard picnic with your neighbor. That's a less serious. That's a less serious. A festive social gathering.

31:58 The most serious social gathering is a funeral. And the person who dressed in the same way they would for a backyard barbecue at a funeral would immediately be out of place. So as Christians, the bottom line is that we are to seek under God to be sensitive to the prevailing social mores and blend in with them so that we cause no offense. That should be our goal.

32:27 So it's a matter of seeking to be sensitive to those matters and respond to them. However, in emergencies, we should never feel bound by those things. For instance, I've always put this construction. The few times I remember some men showing up with shorts on a Wednesday night, I just figured, well, they probably were out after supper working on cutting their lawns or something else and rather than miss prayer meeting by, or coming late to prayer meeting by going in, and showering, and putting on, you know, what would be more normally acceptable garb, they came as they were.

33:01 And I've rejoiced that they came as they were. And I found no offense in their knobby knees and their hairy legs. And in love, I tried to put the best construction on that because that's not the normal way they would appear. Now, if I began to see a pattern, I think I would then take that brother aside and say, now, brother, you know, I'd love to lead the prayer meeting in my shorts, too.

33:24 That's special. That's special. That's special. That's special.

33:25 That's special. That's special. That's special. Before we got our air conditioning.

33:26 I wouldn't want to now, but before we got our air conditioning. However, if you are to have credibility before people who might find that offensive, may I suggest that you stop long enough to at least slip some jeans on. And then if it began to be a pattern. So this whole matter of our own liberty on things indifferent must always have reference point to others as well.

33:49 Not only if it causes them to stumble, but the scripture says, if thy brother be grieved by thy meat, and that would come in. Now, I don't want to go into the area that if what I do even causes grief to someone, I don't want to cause him grief. I mean, if the difference between shorts and full-length trousers can mean someone is not grieved, why bother to grieve him? Does that little bit of comfort mean enough to me to grieve a brother, a brother for whom Christ died?

34:13 Pfft. It isn't worth it. And it's that way with a tie. I mean, I would challenge anyone to show from the Bible that I have to be wearing a tie here this morning.

34:25 You couldn't do it. You couldn't do it. So I'm going to take my tie off and then put the challenge on and prove to me that I'm being unbiblical. But you see, there's a certain expectation of someone who appears in public to lead the worship and instruction of God's people, you see?

34:45 And if I appear contrary to that expectation, you're laughing, but you would feel uncomfortable. And then you'd feel a little embarrassed. You'd say, what about people who come? Huh?

34:57 You can see what you're looking for. I know what I look like. I've seen myself this way. My tie's all looped over and the rest.

35:02 See, I know that without even looking down, you see. But now, seriously, I'm concerned that none of you have anything that would distract from what we're here to do. So I suffer the tie. Now, when I was in Pakistan, apart from one meeting, which was their formal Sunday morning worship, I would have appeared foolish if I wore a tie.

35:26 So I did all of my preaching in slacks. I wore a hat. I wore a hat. I wore a hat.

35:30 I wore a hat. I wore a hat. I wore a hat. And then an open-necked sports shirt.

35:34 Now, I loved that. That was great. Because that's the way all of the Pakistani pastors appeared. That's the way they would stand when they lead their people, just like our brother Amrash.

35:41 You never saw him with a tie on when he was with us. He wore the standard dress expected of a good Trinidadian in a serious social situation. So that would be my response to that question, heart. Serious business, being a Christian, isn't it?

36:00 At every point, no man lives to himself. man lives to himself he not only lives unto the lord but he lives in union with his brothers and sisters and must be concerned about that and his relationship to them and his influence over them so there's no crass individualism in the christian faith i can do my own thing well your thing impinges on me so it's not your thing it's your thing plus mine unless the whole world were blind which it isn't so there can't be that kind of insensitivity that just says what i like i'm going to do because we do live in these relationships all right further question can come from a totally different direction or it may be something leading out of this yes rich all right the question is

Balancing Diligence and Avoiding Worldly Cares: Prioritizing Schedules

37:20 how do we balance these two things that seem to be in constant tension the responsibility to be diligent as workmen taking the biblical injunction whatsoever your hand finds to do do with all of your might as unto the lord and not as unto men for you serve the lord christ and yet on the other hand the many admonitions against being swallowed up with the cares of this world remember it's the the thorny ground here is the person whose obsession with the cares of this life legitimate things you see those are the things that we need to be concerned about and we need to be concerned with these things we need to be concerned about and we have to be concerned about both the complex and the present and the present and the present and the present and all of their all of them actually go into this more critical protected um aspect and then because of the i was when these things come together or they move out of place where our life goes wrong we were not wrong and always brought things together to eliminate us from doing what we do was to tell your heads what works and what it doesn't work according to the commandments that you allow and your people can become what they wish and they can become what they enjoy if you recognize that what it takes is just to transform yourself into a mature man and you create beautiful lives and forget simple men who you trust with no us comes to work and i can be torn apart by yore your set you can say work with your evil ا acknowledging some messes i you don't like what you're like you don't need to be so applied that is I mean, there's some of the injunctions on the other side. Now, the question of our brother Rich is, how do we keep the balance? All right, I'm going to throw the question back on you.

38:31 What is the biblical answer to the resolution of that tension?

38:36 John? I become irresponsible fathers or husbands.

39:09 There must be a coordinate so we can begin to come up with some answer to the question, how can I give to my laborers? All right, I think the key phrase that John has given is the coordination of our priorities. Our priorities are like the slices in a pie, all right? God gives to every man and to every woman a list of priorities.

39:41 There is the priority of the nurture of one's own soul. Keep your heart above all that you guard, for out of it are the issues of life, Proverbs 4.23. Another priority.

39:54 Another priority is the priority of the kingdom of God. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, Matthew 6.33, and all these things will be added unto you. There's the priority of providing for family.

40:12 If any man provide not for his own, he's worse than an infidel. He hath denied the faith. Let him that stole steal no more. Rather, let him work with his hands in order that he may hoard up abundance, a bunch of money, no, no, it doesn't say that, in order that he may have to give to him who has need, so that the whole matter of being a diligent workman is other-centered, not self-centered.

40:39 See how different that is from the world's concept? A guy's willing to bust his hump in the world to get all he can get for himself, but God says don't steal anymore, but work diligently that you may have to give to him that has need, starting with your family. And then out to the family of God, and then to the world at large. As much as let us do good, as we have opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially those of the household of faith.

41:06 And then there are the priorities of one's commitment to the church of Christ, in terms of its formal life and conduct. We're not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together as the manner of some is. They continued steadfastly in the apostles' doctrine, the breaking of bread. They continued steadfastly in the prayers.

41:26 So we must seek to thrash out before God what priorities God has laid upon us in his word. And then when we have, to apportion our time so that there can be a coordination of fulfillment in these biblical priorities, so that we don't have them warring against one another. You have the person who says, well, I've got to keep my soul, and the only way I can do that is to spend four hours a day in prayer, and in the word. And if I do that, and seek to provide for my family, and seek to do what I'm supposed to do in the church, that leaves no time for me to spend with my children.

42:06 Or that leaves me no time, it only leaves me time to work, 20 hours a week. But 20 hours work a week are not enough to provide for his family. Well, you see, he's got a collision and a distortion of his views of his priorities. So there must be that constant examination of the word, the word of God, what priorities has God laid upon me.

42:28 And if necessary, write them down, and then ask yourself, maybe make a pie like this, and ask yourself, all right, what am I doing consciously to fulfill these God-given priorities, and then cry to God for wisdom when it appears that you need 30 hours in the day to fulfill all of these priorities. And one of them, of course, is taking care of your body, which is the temple of God, getting adequate rest, and then say, something's wrong. There's six hours in there that isn't fitting, and God just isn't going to give me a 30-hour day because I think I need one. There's enough time in every day to do the will of God.

43:07 Now, there may not be enough time to do all I'd like to do, and all others expect me to do, but there's enough time in every day to do the will of God. So then we've got to work through what can go, what's fat, what has to be cut out. We could call leisure is a legitimate.

43:27 There we are. I can't write and talk. My mind's going beyond this, all right? Leisure is a legitimate thing, but it may be that we need to cut back on some of that leisure.

43:38 It may mean that we've got to cut back on an hour's sleep. We can get by with less than what we're taking. It may mean, realistically, we can't have as much time for private devotions as we've been taking. Now, does that sound unspiritual?

43:52 Well, it's just reality. You may not be able to spend three hours, and so you're not going to have enough time. And still fulfill your other God-given responsibilities. So this is what each man must do, and in so doing, then, what we read earlier in Romans 12 too comes to pass, we prove, that is, we put to the test in our own experience the good, the acceptable, and the perfect will of God.

44:18 Now, if I may just add one thing, and then I'll come to you, Ralph. Rich, on the outset, let me say that feeling that tension continually is a sign of spiritual health. The moment you cease to feel that tension, you're in danger. So don't be disturbed that you feel the tension, because the felt pressure of the tension is going to drive you to God and to His Word, and then you're in the place of safety.

44:43 It's when a man or a woman gets rocking along with things as they are and feels no tension, that imperceptibly he will become more and more distorted in his fulfillment of biblical priorities and not even be aware of it. And he'll be spiritually sick without pain. And that's terrible. Pain is a blessing when it's a signal telling us that some joint or member or organ needs attention.

45:10 And that pain that you feel of the tension is a sign of spiritual health. So don't be disturbed by it. All right? That's right.

Practical Tools for Time Management and Honesty

45:34 Yeah. But each of us has got to do that and struggle with that continually. Each one of us. All right, Ralph, and then back to John.

45:45 Ralph? No, I said Ralph, and then we'll go back to John. Yeah. Yeah. I'll give you a little proverb. Clocks and scales don't lie. You get the point?

46:43 The person says, Well, I just got too much to do. Can't start timing how much time you're spending piddling, how much time you're spending wasting time, how much time you're spending in front of your TV. Take a week. And if you don't have one, I'll buy one for you for 10 bucks and get the thing that has a little timer on it.

47:05 And you just go like that. And that starts counting the thing. All right, you're going to do something. When you're done, write it down.

47:10 How much time did you spend in front of the television Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday? And you've rationalized it. Oh, I just spend an hour or two. And you get honest and you find out you're spending 10 and 12 hours a week in front of your boob tube.

47:22 You see clocks? It's like the person who's not honest about the weight problem, whether overweight or underweight. They don't want to weigh themselves daily. They've got all kinds of excuses not to do it.

47:33 Why? Because the scales don't lie. And looking down and it says, Uh-oh. I've got to do something.

47:37 That's reality. And we try to avoid reality with regard to clocks and scales. And may I say no Christian makes any real practical progress in the Christian life unless he's willing to be honest with his clock. And many of us, if we're going to have a good conscience about our weight, we've got to get honest about scales too.

47:57 Almost invariably, when I've talked with anyone who's got a problem in either of these areas and you press the question, are you letting the clock or the scales tell you reality, they waffle. They waffle. And I think the nervous silence is eloquent testimony that I'm right on target. They don't lie.

48:15 All right? So Ralph's point is an excellent point. Write it down for one week. Actually time what you do, when you do it, and then begin to see where you can make adjustments and pair off the fat and alter your priorities.

Discipleship and Sacrificing Career for Christ

48:30 Okay, John? Yeah. So the point is you must not let your business situation, which is prepared to sacrifice, everything for quote the ladder of success. You must not let it dictate to you how you adjust your priorities.

49:09 That's why we know of men in our own congregation who have left very lucrative promising job positions because the demand for performance in that job was to sell the soul, to ruin the family, and to negate the responsibilities of the Church of Christ. And they said price tags too high. Keep your dumb job. That's right.

49:32 And if we're not prepared, if we're not prepared to do that, if we're not prepared to do that, then we must question whether or not we're really true disciples. Prepare to leave all for Christ's sake. Just as much as if the job demanded, suppose a company should say to a man, look, from here on in, when we provide women on a weekend business and sales thing, you've got to spend time with them. A man would say, no, I'll not break the seventh commandment for this job.

49:58 All right, then your job is done. A man's got to be prepared to quit his job if they said, break the seventh commandment. What about if the job says break the fourth commandment for something other than a work of necessity or mercy? Man may have to say, look, if the pattern of breaking the fourth commandment is what you demand of me in a job situation that is not one of necessity or mercy, it's not a life support system, then a man must be prepared.

50:27 And that's where discipleship will increasingly impinge upon us as our society becomes more and more secular. It's a good point. All right, any final question? Yes, or comment.

Priorities are Dynamic and Require Continuous Evaluation

50:37 Mr. Dixon. Very good. Amen.

50:49 Once you get locked into this, that ain't like the laws of the Medes and Persians for the next 30 years. So Mr. Dixon speaking of one who's had two of the birds leave the nest and the third one may leave in a couple of years, and my wife and I are facing that. Her whole life has been bound up in being a mother, primarily being a mother next to being a wife to me.

51:09 Well, that mothering over the next couple of years is going to come to an end. Now what? Well, then we're going to have to completely rework the matter of the use and structure of her time and her energies. And likewise, in terms of many other factors, and then as Mr. Dixon has said, emergencies.

51:30 We heard last night of a husband who had to spend an unusual amount of time doing domestic situations because his wife got violently sick for a period of three months. Well, you see all of his priorities had to be adjusted by his desire to nurture, and cherish, his wife. So these things are never static. So that tension, the awareness that I must be on top of this and continually crying to God for wisdom, continually evaluating, that's part of living soberly as well as righteously and godly in this present world.

52:01 That word soberly means in touch with reality, in touch with the reality of all of the circumstances as they relate to the general teaching of the Word of God. Yes, our time is gone. I've got to return that to zero. We were five minutes and nine seconds on that last point.

52:21 All right, let's pray together. Our Father, we do thank you for this time together this morning. How good it is as your people to have your word as a lamp unto our feet and a light to our pathway. How good it is to know that we struggle together in these practical concerns, that we are a fellowship of those who with common love for Christ and with the remains of our own corruption and in the midst of a wicked and perverse generation are called upon to be light and salt.

53:04 Oh God, help us in this area of wholesome modesty. Make us to be a congregation who shine as lights in this matter of the adjusting of our priorities and our sensitivity one to another. Oh, may we increase and abound more and more in all of these virtues. Hear our cry and receive our thanks for your presence with us through Jesus Christ our Lord.

53:32 Amen.