Assertive Loving Care for One Another

Introduction: The Importance of a Regenerate Membership

0:04 This sermon was delivered on Sunday morning, August 11, 1991, at the Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey.

0:14 Now, in order to set our study in a biblical framework, would you follow, please, as I read two portions of the Word of God. The first is found in 1 Corinthians, chapter 12, and the second, a much briefer passage in 1 Thessalonians, chapter 2. 1 Corinthians, chapter 12. In this section of Corinthians, where Paul is dealing with the subject of spiritual gifts, he brings forward the concept of the Church, the Church as an organic entity, he calls it the body of Christ, and it's in that setting that I pick up the reading at verse 18, 1 Corinthians 12 and verse 18. But now hath God set the members, each one of them, in the body, even as it pleased him. And if they were all one member, where were the body? Where were the members?

1:24 Where were the members? But now they are many members, but one body. And the eye cannot say to the hand, I have no need of thee. Or again, the head to the feet, I have no need of you.

1:38 Nay, much rather, those members of the body which seem to be more feeble are necessary. And those parts of the body which we think to be less honorable, upon these we bestow more abundant honor. And our uncomely parts. We have more abundant comeliness, whereas our comely parts have no need.

2:00 But God tempered the body together, giving more abundant honor to that part which lacked, that there should be no schism in the body, but that the members should have the same care one for another. And whether one member suffereth, all the members suffer with it. Or one member is honored, all...

2:24 All the members rejoice with it. Now ye are the body of Christ, and severally members thereof. And now over to 1 Thessalonians chapter 2. In the midst of a section where Paul is laying bare his pastoral affections for the Thessalonians.

2:49 Reminding them of how those affections were manifested during his brief ministry. Among them, he writes in 1 Thessalonians 2, and I shall read verses 10 through 12. Ye are witnesses, and God also, how holily and righteously and unblameably we behaved ourselves toward you that believe. As you know how we dealt with each one of you as a father with his own children.

3:21 Exhorting you and encouraging you and telling you. Testifying to the end that ye should walk worthily of God who calleth you into his own kingdom and glory.

3:35 Now there are few things which are of greater importance to any congregation which claims allegiance to Jesus Christ and to his word. Than the maintenance of a membership which bears the marks of being a truly...

3:56 A truly regenerate and genuinely converted assembly. Since all of the letters of the New Testament and many parts of the word of God in the Old Testament assume that those to whom these words come will be motivated by gospel motives. Moved by gospel incentives. Will be shaped in their faith.

4:26 Thinking by gospel realities. If a congregation is devoid of those things, then the word of God in great measure will come to naught among them. And in the course of our present series of studies entitled A Manifesto of Trinity Baptist Church, we're focusing our attention on those central biblical issues which have been the very spiritual backbone of our...

4:56 Our life together for nearly 25 years. And in the opening up of these central issues, we're presently considering the fifth affirmation of this manifesto which I've expressed this way. We are determined to strive for a membership role comprised only of those who are truly regenerated and genuinely converted. Having experienced...

5:26 Explained the key words of that affirmation. And having expounded the biblical basis for it. We are now highlighting the clear manifestations of our real commitment to this biblical standard. Thus far we've addressed four plain manifestations that we are indeed really striving for a regenerate and converted membership.

5:55 Number one. Our practice with respect to the children of our church members and their own membership in the church. Secondly, our message and methods of evangelism. Thirdly, our procedures in examining and receiving new members.

6:15 And fourthly, our commitment to biblical discriminating, applicating, applicatory, earnest and passionate preaching. All four of these...

Manifestation 1: Assertive, Loving Knowledge and Care for One Another

6:26 These things are plain manifestations of our determination to strive to have a truly regenerate and genuinely converted membership role. Now today and in our next message, I hope to complete this heading of the manifesto highlighting four more plain manifestations of this determination to have a regenerate membership. And so the fifth in the overall numerics of this heading or the first for this morning is what I'm describing as our encouragement of assertive, loving knowledge of and care one for another. Our encouragement of assertive, loving knowledge of and care one for another. I'm asserting that this is another plain manifestation of our commitment to strive for a truly regenerate and genuinely converted membership.

7:39 My outline in handling this head and the second head this morning will be very simple. I'll give an explanation of and the biblical foundation for the statement. And then secondly, demonstrate precisely how it works. It works itself out in our congregational life.

8:00 First of all, then, an explanation of this statement and its biblical basis. When I say that our encouragement of assertive, loving knowledge of and care for one another is another plain manifestation of our striving for a regenerate membership, what do I mean? And on what scripture does such a concept rest? Well, we who lead you encourage you to take seriously such biblical injunctions as these.

8:34 Romans 15 and verse 7. Wherefore receive ye one another even as Christ received you to the glory of God. First Corinthians 12, 26. When one member suffers, all the members suffer with it.

8:54 Romans 12, 15. Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those that weep. Hebrews 3, 13. Exhort one another day by day while it is called today, lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.

9:15 Galatians 6, 1. Brethren, if any man be overtaken in a fault, ye who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of meekness. For gentleness, looking to yourself, lest you also be tempted. 1 John 3, 18.

9:33 Beloved, my little children, let us not love in word, but in deed and in truth. Now these six verses are but a sampling of the kinds of text which are often quoted in this place and which together comprise what I mean by saying, that we encourage assertive, loving knowledge of and care for another. We encourage loving knowledge of one for another and the cultivation of these things with godly assertiveness. Now having explained very simply the meaning of the words and the biblical basis, let me now demonstrate how this relates. To the maintenance of a regenerate and converted church membership. And I give you but two ways in which it functions to that end.

Active Love as Evidence of Regeneration

10:40 Number one, because active, demonstrated love for the brethren is a dominant evidence of a regenerate heart.

10:52 Active, demonstrated love for the brethren is a dominant evidence of a regenerate heart. is a dominant evidence of a regenerate heart. Active, demonstrated love for the brethren is a dominant evidence of a regenerate heart. Turn please to 1 John 3, verses 13 and 14.

11:07 1 John chapter 3, verses 13 and 14. Perhaps we should back up to 1 John 3 and start with, did I say verse 13? Yes. Marvel not, brethren, if the world hateth you.

11:33 We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not abideth in death. Here John states that one of the birthmarks of every true child of God is that he possesses a disposition of holy love to his brethren. The absence of that holy love indicates that a man is in a state of spiritism, spiritual death.

12:10 But now the question is, can that love be present in truth and merely be dormant in its overall residence in the heart? Well, not according to verse 17. Whoso hath the world's goods and beholds his brother in need and shuts up his compassion from him, how doth the love of God dwell in him? Is God's love a divine?

12:39 Is God's love a divine? Is it a dormant sentiment? Or is it an active principle of outgoing commitment that seeks the good of its object? Which is it?

12:52 Well, it is certainly not a dormant sentiment in the heart of God. For herein is love, not that we love God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. And John has already argued that if, if we have the same principle of love in our hearts, we are prepared to lay down our very lives for our brethren. Verse 16.

13:20 And we ought to lay down our brethren. So if this kind of God-like love is in our breasts by the presence of the Holy Spirit, a mark of regenerating grace, and if its presence will act in us as it acts in God, that is, prepared to make the supreme, the supreme expression of self-giving love, then surely, in the presence of a brother who has mere material need, and we have the capacity to meet it, and we shut up our hearts, how does the love of God dwell in us? We may have some gushy sentiment, we may have some dormant emotions, but we do not have that love which is the proof of regeneration.

14:08 And therefore, by constantly urging and setting aside before you as a congregation the specific opportunities to manifest in an aggressive way the fruits and actings of biblical love, what are we doing? We are giving you an opportunity to make a valid biblical assessment of whether or not your professed faith is real, whether your professed regeneration is real. You have grounds to have a strong, biblically-based assurance according to John, knowing you've passed from death unto life when you have love for the brethren. But the only way you know you have love for the brethren is not because you have a few gushy feelings once in a while when you're around your brethren. You know that you have love for the brethren in the same way that we know God has love for us. And we know God has love for us because He's opened His heart to us in the giving of His Son. And we can know we have love for our brethren when according to our capacity and our knowledge of their need, we respond in terms of that need, demonstrating to ourselves that our love is real.

15:34 And hereby do we know that we have passed from death unto life because we love the brethren. And that active, demonstrated love, then, you see, is a dominant evidence of a regenerate heart. Again, the witness of Peter in 1 Peter 1, 22 and 23.

15:58 1 Peter 1, 22 and 23, seeing you have purified your souls in your obedience to the truth, you are truly converted, your souls have been purified, you've obeyed the truth of the gospel, unto, unto, unfamed love of the brethren, love one another from the heart, fervently having been begotten again. And here Peter brings into the closest relationship active love to the brethren, fervent love to the brethren, and the reality of the divine begetting.

16:41 Hence, the absence of that love, therefore, the absence of its active expressions will be enough to consign the wicked to hell in the day of judgment. Matthew chapter 25.

17:00 The absence of that love and its tangible expressions will be enough evidence on which to damn the wicked in the day of judgment.

17:14 Verse 41 of Matthew 25. Then shall he say to them on the left hand, Depart from me ye cursed into the eternal fire which is prepared for the devil and his angels. For you were whoremongers and murderers and adulterers and thieves and idolaters and cursers and potheads and drunkards. No, that isn't what he says.

17:47 Depart from me ye cursed for the devil and his angels. Depart from me ye cursed I was hungry and you did not give me to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me no drink. I was a stranger and you took me not in.

18:08 Naked and you clothed me not. Sick and in prison and ye visited me not. Then shall they answer saying, Lord, when did we see you hungry or a thirst or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison? And did not minister unto you?

18:24 Then shall he answer them saying, Verily I say unto you inasmuch as you did it not. Get those words. You do one of these least. You did it not unto me and these shall go away into eternal punishment.

18:48 What evidence is brought forward to show the justice of their damnation? The evidence that they, did it not. And what did they not do? They did not manifest the active expressions of true love.

19:05 Christ's brethren has owned and therefore any church committed to seeing under God's blessing a membership comprised of truly regenerate and genuinely converted men and women must continually loving knowledge of one for another and then make known the opportunity by which that knowledge and care can be expressed. Why? Because in so doing this will separate wheat from chaff. This will become the ongoing basis of the true people of God being assured that they are not hypocrites because they find their brethren in need and there is within them the love of Christ constraining them to reach out to meet that need according to their capacity and opportunity. And those who have nothing but head, notional religion, who have wispy, woozy feelings of emotion once in a while to the people of God but can be tight-fisted and narrowed and indifferent to the needs of their brethren, the word of God should be continually probing and pressing them to face the fact that though they may not be cursing,

20:35 swearing, profligate, drunken potheads, they'll be damned. Damned for what they do not do.

20:42 Damned for what they don't do. Damned because they do not love.

20:51 Damned because they do not respond to need when that need is made known. But then there's a second way in which this works and finds expression in a church because a willing reception of exhortation and reproof and correction are the marks of a regenerate church. are the marks of a regenerate church. are the marks of a regenerate church.

Willing Reception of Exhortation as Evidence of Regeneration

21:13 You see, the verses I read to show what I meant by assertive loving knowledge of and care for one another involve not only receiving one another, rejoicing and weeping with one another, but exhorting one another and helping one another in the overcoming of our many sins. Those are duties laid upon all the people of God and that's what I mean by the words of the Lord. Encouraging assertive loving knowledge of and care for one another. And in such a climate not only will actively demonstrated love for the brethren in tangible ways validate our professed regeneration, but a willing reception of exhortation and reproof and attempts to help us overcome our sins are the marks of a regenerate man. Turn to John. John chapter 3.

22:18 John's gospel chapter 3.

22:22 One of the clearest passages in all of scripture with respect to this principle. This is the judgment that light has come into the world and men loved the darkness rather than the light for their works were evil. Now our Lord asserts a general principle in the next two verses. For everyone that doeth evil hateth the light and cometh not to the light lest his works should be reproved or convicted.

22:59 But he that doeth the truth isn't that interesting? Not he that believeth the truth but he that doeth the truth. The truth is something to be done not only to be believed.

23:11 He that doeth the truth present tense verb he that doeth the truth continues to the light that his works may be made manifest that they have been wrought in God. Here are two kinds of people. We have those who do evil and those who do the truth. Here is the contrast.

23:37 Those who do evil they hate light. Light exposes. They don't want exposure. Therefore they draw back from light.

23:45 Those who do the truth they love light. They draw near to light even though they know light will expose them. They want light. They want their deeds exposed because anything that's displeasing to God being regenerate people set on following the holiness without which no man shall see the Lord they want to get rid of that sin.

24:06 They want to deal with that iniquity and therefore they move towards the light.

24:13 And you see no little measure of that light which exposes us comes not only directly in our reading of the scripture not only indirectly indirectly in the Bible. not only directly in the preaching of the scriptures but in the congregation where there is what I've described assertive loving knowledge of one for another. We get to know one another well enough to know where there may be signs of spiritual declension and departure from the living God. So when the text says exhort one another day by day lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin there is another enough aggressive intimate involvement and knowledge of one another for that to have a framework of valid operation. When the scripture says if anyone be overtaken in a trespass you that are spiritual restore such a one in the spirit of gentleness the indication is you didn't have congregation in which every man was insulated in his own little box and every woman insulated in her box where no one knew anything about the other except the one who was in the box. Except that we occupied the same pews at the same time on the same days. No, no.

25:30 There was close enough interaction that a brother could see a brother overtaken in a trespass through an area of particular weakness and vulnerability. And what do you do? You draw alongside to help restore the brother to help set that broken bone of his own spiritual stature to help him back into the spiritual world. The way of righteousness and the assumption is that a true child of God does not resent that.

26:01 He doesn't say who in the world are you? You've got ten sins. What are you doing pointing out my sin? How can anyone come from his knees praying Oh God make me more like your son.

26:13 Oh God help me to mortify all of my sins. Help me oh God to deal with my pride. Help me to deal with my insensitivity. Help me to cultivate a greater spirit of outgoing concern.

26:29 How can a man come from his knees praying to be more holy and then get testy and nasty when a brother or sister lovingly points out a sin and tries to help answer his prayer?

26:44 I don't understand that. I frankly don't understand it.

26:51 All I can conclude is either they're not praying that they be more holy or their prayer is a mockery. I know some people who talk very glibly about wanting to be holy but if anyone other than God himself shows them a sin from the word woe be unto that person. My friend you don't set your own rules. God has set the avenues by which he'll answer your prayer.

27:16 And he says exhort one another. If a brother be overtaken restore such a one. If thy brother sin against thee rebuke him. Repent.

27:27 Forgive him. That's the teaching of to be holy. If the name of God if a neighbor's dog could bark in such a way as to point out your sin you'd throw him a bone and say thank you.

27:44 And frankly I'm concerned for not a few of you who seem to be far more concerned to justify and protect your reputation than to be one who's marked by increasing holiness.

27:58 That's why this emphasis is deliberately present in this congregation.

28:04 And why we fight I trust with spiritual weaponry against the church. Against any notion that's simply to come and plunk yourself in the poo and go all relation and relative distance so nobody can get close enough to really that's not the kind of life envisioned in the word of God. God has ordained the body as the framework of our progress in grace. Ephesians chapter 4 is as plain as the noonday sun on that issue.

28:37 There's no such thing as holiness in isolation. If you have such a holiness you created it and you have such a holiness you have nothing but your own meager powers to make it effective. The holiness that God is committed to he is committed to in the context of the body of Christ.

28:54 It is through that which every joint supplies that the body grows and increases in love. And therefore one of the plain manifestations of our commitment to a regenerate church membership is our encouragement of assertive loving knowledge of and care one for another because a willing reception of exhortation and reproof and correction of the marks of a regenerate man. John 3, 19-21 two texts out of Proverbs. We considered these some weeks ago in another connection.

Personal Application: Openness to Reproof

29:39 I quote them with little comment. They speak for themselves. Proverbs 9, 8 Reprove not a scoffer lest he hate thee. Reprove a wise man and he'll love thee.

29:50 We all ought to be known as those if you want me to love you more reprove me where I need it.

29:59 That's what the text says. If we are wise with spiritual wisdom the way someone can have us increase our love to him is to reprove us for our sins. Are you easy to reprove? You husbands would your wives say whatever my husband's faults are certainly one of them is not that he's difficult to reprove.

30:29 He's easy to be entreated. He's grateful when I point out his sins. You husbands come on now come on I want to do a little probing a little applicatory preaching a little conscience screwing preaching. Could your wife stand right here now and under oath in the solemn presence of God say I swear by the name of the living God that if there's one thing true of my husband it's this he willingly joyfully receives as a pattern my reproofs and corrections for his sins.

31:08 Your wife stand under solemn oath and say that this morning husband yes or no.

31:16 Don't answer out loud but answer in your conscience yes or no. If you're not sure lean over tell her to whisper the truth in your ear right now. I won't look. I'll look at the back of my head.

31:29 I'll look at the back wall.

31:31 Could she say that when the instrument God's put closest to you that knows you the best to be his instrument to help you to be holy you despise.

31:52 How about you wives? Could your husband stand this morning and under solemn oath say whatever my wife's weaknesses and faults and problems are this one thing I can testify in the presence of God. Here comes my reproofs my corrections my insults my destruction from the word of God. She doesn't bristle and defend herself and pout and cry and say I love me.

32:21 Could your husband testify?

32:25 Yes or no?

32:30 What about the person closest to you who knows you best in this congregation? Your close friends. What's the bond of your friendship? Is it at the unwritten rule you don't show me up I won't show you up?

32:44 I've seen that over the years in this congregation. In the natural groupings that form and they're perfectly legitimate. Jesus had them within the twelve. He had the three that were closer and among the three there was John the closest.

32:57 And those natural groupings some of which fall out according to geographical pockets as God providentially leads you to settle some in this area some in that some according to interests such as your schooling activities. All of these natural groupings which bring some of you closer together than others perfectly natural and legitimate. Let me ask you what's the bottom line of that bond? Is it an unwritten rule you don't show me up I won't show you up?

33:27 Or is the bond that you're faithful to one another's souls and in that closer more intimate friendship you welcome each other? They'll feel they're out of place wherever they go. People are welcoming their sins being pointed out. Their faults being not only overlooked in love where it's proper but lovingly pointed out and graciously dealt with.

33:53 God have mercy on this church. The day there's an unwritten rule don't show me up then I won't show you up. And we disobey that whole block of biblical teaching which mandates our faithfulness to one another's souls. Where there is a climate of assertive loving knowledge of and care for one another only the converted and the faithful and the regenerate will be comfortable in these things and others will then see their emptiness and their self-centeredness.

34:30 In a church where people the moment they see the need of their brethren are thinking how can I meet it? Someone who's always turned inward upon himself wanting the world to bow at the shrine of his own whims and fancies will see I have a life qualitatively different from that life and that one and this one and you as a body become the very mirror to expose this person's sham and hypocrisy and either seeing it the individual will cry to God for the real thing or he'll find himself uncomfortable and leave. That way the church has a self-purging influence the very influence of a holy congregation committed to one another in genuine aggressive outgoing biblically directed love. But then I hasten to address another plain manifestation I said I was going to take up two this morning and I think I'm just about unscheduled to cover this one on time another plain manifestation of our commitment to strive for a truly regenerate membership number six in the overall list number two this morning and I'm describing it this way our commitment to assertive loving pastoral intimacy and oversight of each member our commitment

Manifestation 2: Assertive, Loving Pastoral Intimacy and Oversight

35:58 to assertive loving pastoral intimacy and oversight of each member I'm going to use the same outline explain and show the biblical foundation for those words and then demonstrate how this relates to the maintenance of a regenerate and converted membership explanation and biblical foundation by the words assertive loving pastoral intimacy and oversight of each member I'm attempting to capture attempting to capture the clear biblical teaching that the pastor sheep relationship is not to be formal passive cold and distant it is not to be formal passive and distant but rather it is to be loving intimate assertive as it applies to each member and on what biblical foundation does that assertion rest let me give you again just five clear texts first Thessalonians five sorry first Thessalonians yes five and verse twelve and then we'll turn back to the passage read in your hearing

37:25 this word is directed to church members and they are told we beseech you brethren to know them that labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you and to esteem them exceeding highly in love for their work's sake here the burden is upon the church members not to be satisfied with a distant formal relationship to their overseers we beseech you brethren know them that labor among you you see this is just the opposite of the person who goes over and stands in that little narrow angle between the main beam and the side wall with his back to the congregation his head on the floor waiting for an elder to seek him out and after he's done that for ten weeks says nobody around here cares for nobody for nothing the opposite of the person who retreats from the natural avenues of social intercourse and contact by which that person can get to know those that are over him the burden is upon you say not be satisfied with a formal cold distant relationship

38:54 to my overseers mandates now it doesn't say we beseech you brethren make of your overseers your closest and best buddies now that's the way some people have read it and then they get mad and they get mad when the elders are too busy to be their buddy to go out for coffee six times a week and go wet a line three times a month and do a lot of other things some of us haven't wet a line for years not because we don't enjoy fishing no time to go fishing because of seeking to fulfill our duties to the flock of God but if it is God's will that the relationship be merely formal and distant why does he say know then that the are over you it's because God's will is not that there be a distant cold formal passive relationship but one that is assertive loving and intimate now then turn back to chapter 2 of 1st Thessalonians where Paul describes such a relationship he first of all vindicates the pattern of godly lives that he and his companions lived and he is not sinfully boasting

40:21 this is the testimony of a conscience walking with integrity before God you are witnesses verse 10 and God also how holily righteously and unblameably we behaved ourselves toward you that believe then he goes on to say as you know how we dealt with each one of you there's individual personal concern as a father with his own children that's intimate warm loving relationship exhorting you that is encouraging seeking to give you impetus motivation and solemnly testifying that would bring in the elements perhaps of warning where necessary to the end that you should walk worthily of God who called you to his own kingdom and glory he cannot only have his conscience bear witness in the presence of God that he walked with integrity before the people but it was integrity in a relationship of intimacy of personal intimacy you know how we dealt with each one of you as a father with his own nothing cold and distant no passive

41:50 father the apostle says he was active and assertive and aggressive with holy love in his dealings with the Thessalonians when we turn to Colossians we find a similar emphasis in that passage some of you will remember that Pastor Nichols expounded several years ago on the patterns of Paul's apostolic ministry and one of the marks of them is not only that the preaching of Christ was central verse 27 but also but there was this pastoral element whom we proclaim verse 28 admonishing every man and teaching every man in all wisdom that we may present every man perfect in Christ where unto I labor also striving according to his working which works in me mightily here the apostle says that with all of the peculiar burdens that were upon him as not only an apostle but an apostle with peculiar responsibilities among the apostolic band nonetheless nonetheless he says in preaching Christ we admonish every man and teach every man that we may present every man perfect in Christ again over to Acts 20 and verse 28 when the apostle

43:18 charges the elders at Ephesus with their task knowing that he will no longer see their face and be among them to exercise pastoral ministry what does he say is the essence of their task Acts 20 28 take heed unto yourselves and to all the flock in the which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers to shepherd the verbal form of that word poimino to shepherd not just to feed but perform the man a fold functions of a shepherd to the flock to shepherd the church of the Lord which he purchased with his own blood and in that shepherding the great example is the great shepherd the archipoimane according to first Peter 5 4 Christ is the chief shepherd and how does he shepherd he says in John 10 3 and 4 these were the characteristics of his role as the great and as the good shepherd to him the porter opens and the sheep hear his voice and he calls his own sheep by name nothing more personal than our name and when someone calls our name we say that person knows me I'm not just the face among many other faces I'm an individual and the shepherd calls his own

44:48 sheep by name and leads them out and when he puts forth all his own he goes before them and the sheep follow him for they know his voice there is mutual knowledge he knows the sheep and the sheep know him add to this Hebrews 13 17 obey them that have the rule over you for they watch for your souls as they that shall give an account that's not a passive watching that's not a laid back indifferent distant professional watching it is a close it is a scrutinizing it is an awesome watching with the shadow of the day of judgment cast over that task now this may help some of you to understand why it is that we plant ourselves at the door every Lord's day you think that's a matter of just social custom it isn't with me and I know it isn't with the rest of my brethren there are times when I'm done preaching the last thing in the world I want to do is stand at that door for close to an hour there are times you don't know it when in preaching I get a terrible gastrointestinal condition in which I feel I'm going to explode I stand at that door why because there's nothing more personal in my eyeballs meeting yours

Pastoral Intimacy in Practice

46:17 and my hand taking yours and the elder that stands at that door and that door and down in the hallway why do we do that isn't it we don't like to get home and have our meal sure we'd like to get home and have our meal but you're our sheep and here you are gathered in this fold on the Lord's appointed day and it's there that we have an opportunity to look you straight in the eye and express by the shaking of your hand by embrace by the kiss on the cheek and there we try to read the look in your eyes and we try to sense if you're sending out any signals of your being hurt and wounded and needy and distant and many a time a counseling session began with just a word at the door things are not going too well are they maybe we better talk what are we doing that for it's because we are committed to seeking with all of our failures and sins and problems in the outworking we are committed to assertive loving pastoral intimacy and oversight of every member this is why we mingle among you after the flow has gone through the door many of us who at this point some of us who don't have the responsibility of little ones we come and seek you out in your little gatherings in various parts of the church and we laugh with you and we joke with you and we seek to be personable why it's all to the end that you might know us as friends

47:45 this is why we've been committed for several years now to regular pastoral oversight visits to come into your home to ask you are there areas that concern you things that are troubling you things that you need to speak to us about why are we doing that is it because we like to give up another evening a week away from home and for some of my younger brethren who still have little ones away from family and wife no no but it's part of the commitment to an assertive loving pastoral intimacy and oversight of every member now let me demonstrate how this relates to the maintaining of a truly regenerate and converted membership try to explain what we're talking about give you enough examples that you'll know what I'm speaking of and here again let me give you three ways in which this contributes to the maintenance of a regenerate membership number one some characteristics of true sheep are only known in this assertive loving pastoral intimacy some characteristics of true sheep are only known in this assertive loving pastoral intimacy among the sheep in this place there are some of you that are naturally very bashful some of you that you can't even bring yourself as oft as you've tried and prayed that God would help you some of you men

How Pastoral Intimacy Maintains Regenerate Membership

49:13 that have yet have not been able to bring yourself to even pray publicly and audibly in our prayer meetings and it's not that you've not tried and prayed and asked God to give you the grace and so you're not heard as a mouthpiece of the congregation and you're not giving vent to yearnings for the advancement of the kingdom of God and confession of sin and failure and concern for God's people and your personality is more retiring you're not the kind that's going to walk into a group of ten and get the conversation going and move it around but oh what a precious thing it is to visit such people in their homes and you begin to talk and in that private context out of that sheep begin to come such more wonderful things pastor what about this situation why do you want to know well I've been praying about that for months and what about this thing I've been praying about that for months and what about this thing I've been and you find out lo and behold they're not missing a trick their hearts are deeply involved with God's people their burdens their joys their needs their concerns everything pertaining to the life of the church is in their hearts and it's in that context you see their stature their strength while it never shows in the by and by and large in the ordinary interaction of the congregation but it's in that intimate

50:41 personal hands on assertive involvement that you really see what they are and you leave saying thank God for a healthy quiet sheep quiet yes retiring yes but a true sheep and a healthy sheep all the marks are there but then secondly some chronic needs are only met in this assertive loving pastoral intimacy certain chronic needs do not surface in the more general public interaction Richard Baxter said there were times when he felt more good was done in one hour alone in the home with one of his sheep than in a year of public ministry and this is also true in our experience and how will you feel free to open up in private if there has not been the manifestation of a desire on our part for something more than a professional relationship the desire for a close warm loving intimate pastor flock relationship but then thirdly some signs of declension and self-deception are uncovered in assertive loving pastoral intimacy when we begin to ask you in an oversight visitation to tell us about your devotional life and some of you say

52:10 well I don't have any patterns of secret prayer I don't have any patterns of the private reading of the word of God and when you begin to press when's the last time you confess sins to your family at family worship well I don't have family worship and lo and behold it begins to be evident that there are precious few marks of real grace when you get into the domestic sphere and listen carefully religion that is not validated in the domestic sphere isn't worth a nickel it'll never take you through the judgment my friend if it can't be validated by fair standards by your wife and your kids and your closet it's not real and you may say very nice things about appreciating the ministry and all the rest and all we know of you here and in the contact in the church where we seek to be outgoing and loving and assertive and we're not and doesn't do it it's there in the close intimate situation where these issues come into focus and either they change and you change or you may come to the conclusion after being persuaded from the word of God the root of the matter is not in you and it be in your best interest to resign from the church or if those patterns really are locked into your life and after due admonition are not changed it may then become a matter

53:40 of public censure and the beginnings of formal church discipline but however it works out you see what it's doing it's making sure we don't have people who just sit here and look nice and say nice things at the door and go their way either unconverted or on the high road to apostasy or locked into a terrible terrible pattern of self-deception let me ask you this morning would anyone resent a literal shepherd of real sheep the woolly creatures you know with four legs and a tail if they saw that shepherd having heard that a certain disease was afflicting flock of shepherds flock of sheep in that given area would anyone resent a shepherd concerned enough to go out and find those sheep one by one on a hillside and do whatever a shepherd had to do to discover whether or not they were afflicted with that deadly disease would anyone say look at that I can't get over the cheek of that shepherd he's actually got his fingers in his wool he's actually pulling back the wool look I mean that is so intrusive that is such heavy handed high handed shepherding I've never seen that guy ought to be banned from shepherding for the rest of his life the very stating of it shows how stupid the position is

55:09 well if an earthly shepherd of poor dumb sheep who end up as mutton anyway show their love by putting their fingers in the wool and seeking to know the true state of the sheep to see whether or not they might be afflicted with a deadly disease is it heavy handed shepherding to come into your homes and to ask you are you praying to ask you if there are sins that are eating at your vitals like a cancer to ask if indeed there's spiritual health in your heart and in your heart and in your home and in your family is that oppressive heavy handed shepherd or is anything less unworthy of the name shepherd the day this church gets marked by people who want a religion that can be picked up and left at this parking lot it's had it the day you want a relationship to your pastors that is formal and distant as opposed to warm and intimate what you're saying is I want a religion that wears its mask can pick it up off the seat when I leave my car

Conclusion: The Goal of Getting to Heaven Safely

56:35 in the parking lot put it on while I'm sitting in the building and take it off when I drive in my driveway dear people if we're committed to a regenerate and converted membership then we must be committed as a church to this perspective of a relationship between shepherd and shepherd a sheep that is properly described as assertive loving intimate relationship and oversight and under the blessing of God this will go far to help us maintain a membership of truly converted and truly regenerate men and women so I come around full circle to where I began the fifth tenet of the church in our manifesto is that we are committed I think that's the fifth we are committed yes to maintaining a truly regenerate and genuinely converted membership and two more of the ways in which that commitment is manifested is by urging upon you as a congregation the maintenance and the increase of a climate of a community of relationship one to another that is marked by asserting assertive loving knowledge and care

58:05 for one another so that those who are not regenerate and do not love the brethren will sense they're out of place in such a caring assembly of God's people and will either be awakened and brought to conversion or will find the self-disclosure and the accurate self-knowledge too much and fly the coop and we are committed that there will be by the grace of God an assertive loving pastoral intimacy and oversight of each member to the end that by the grace of God each one of you will be taken safely to heaven if you could get to heaven by simply getting through a membership interview and being received into the church and warming the pew and being respectable then that would be enough our work would be a lot easier there are a lot of unread books that would bring my soul and mind great delight I'd love the luxury of ours oh in those books they sit there inviting me like a juicy steak invites a hungry man but then there are the calls saying pastor I've got this problem and this problem and I've wrestled with it and I'm not able to bring it to resolution may I come to see what am I to say no I'm sorry Owen got me first now yes there must be seasons of study blocked out and jealously guarded I'm not talking about

59:34 letting people's needs dictate our schedules you know me better than that but relatively speaking we've only got one life and we cannot be working active intimate loving pastors to this flock and have the luxury of being scholars hold up with our books dear people we do it not for what we get from it but we want to take it and we want to take it safely to heaven and if you don't want to get to heaven bad enough to have somebody get to know you well enough to see whether you're real enough to get to heaven then you better go somewhere else because God giving us strength that's what we're committed to we want to get to know you well enough so that we have an accurate assessment from the word of God without being omniscient to have grounds to believe you've got the real thing and that you go into heaven in good shape to the glory of God that's what we're all about now you may misread our aggressiveness that's your sin not ours but I hope you'll see it is sin for I ask you what have we to gain by that aggressiveness you answer me what have we to gain do we get a salary increase if we're more aggressive no we just run the risk of having some people get upset with us

61:03 what do we get Paul said we seek not yours but you all Corinthians you our hearts are open to you dear people who've become cynical for some reason somebody disappointed you don't impute to us someone else's failure will you not take us at face value to all the evidence points otherwise we love you we love you and we want to see you get to heaven and we want to see you get to heaven in a way that will magnify the grace of God and that's why we want to climb that mountain and we want to see you and we want to see you and we want to see you in a way that will make you feel comfortable in which you make an effort to know us and we make the effort to know you so that in this place only those who are the real thing will feel comfortable with real biblical pastor flock relationship and sheep to sheep relationship you see God did not ordain that just the truth coming out of the pulpit would be the means to get you to heaven he ordained his people his church functioning by the rule of scripture in the power of the spirit to be the instrument of your salvation and we're determined by the grace of God to have such a place and if you're not a Christian and you're feeling

62:32 the pinch and the pressure of this dog eat dog nobody gives a hoot about anything world one of the motives I would seek to set before you for becoming a Christian is if you join to Christ then you're joined to his people and you'll find a haven from all of that cutthroat world out there a place where people genuinely care for you they're not seeking to get anything out of you they're trying to help you get to heaven safely what a wonderful thing to be a part of the church where people really want to help you get to heaven I wouldn't be a non non-Christian for all the

Final Exhortation and Prayer

63:48 , not only to be united to Christ but to his body but dear people if it ceases to be a regenerate converted body none of that love will be there none of that care will be there every man will be seeking his own everyone will be doing that which is right in his own eyes and you'll step from a dog eat dog cutthroat world into an even worse dog eat dog cutthroat church and you just ask people who've been part of churches where congregational business meetings were a veritable dog fight why because some dropped the ball being concerned about a regenerate and converted membership and the annual business meeting was the revelation of the unconverted state of the majority of the members may God grant that that will never be so in this place let us pray our father we thank you for your word which is a lamp to our feet and a light to our pathway we pray that as we've again considered this crucial issue of the maintenance of a regenerate and converted membership that the Holy Spirit will give illumination to your people

65:17 and then moral conviction to maintain and to stand by these truths no matter what the cost may be for those our father who do not know you we pray that the things they've heard this morning will make them jealous to know you jealous to possess those relationships that are ours in Christ because of your grace write then your word upon our hearts and dismiss us with the blessing of your spirit upon us we ask with thankfulness in Jesus name Amen