Bridled Tongue: Gossipy Meddlesome

The Bridled Tongue as a Measure of True Religion

0:01 And I've taken the title of this brief series from that text in the first chapter of the epistle of James and verse 26, in which James says, if any man thinketh himself to be religious while he bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his heart, this man's religion is vain. James is the great apostle of the practical. And his soul, like the soul of an Old Testament prophet, is continually vexed when he hears the profession of covenant attachment to God that does not touch the practical aspects of life. And so again and again, James' emphasis is not works, but it's faith, showing that the nature of true faith is such that it will always be manifested in works. But he's not even content to make sense of it. He's not even content to make sense of it. He's not even content to make sense

1:02 of it. He's not even content to make sense of it. He's not even content to make sense of it. He's not such general statements faith without works is dead he descends to such particular things as we find here in the text i have read and that same theme is amplified again in chapters three and four namely this member that is parked between your cheeks and below between the upper and the lower jaw namely the tongue and james says since true religion is a religion of faith faith in the proper object the living god revealed in his son if your attachment professed attachment to this god and to the truth of the gospel in faith does not place a bridle upon this member he says that is all vanity so then a bridle tongue in the thinking of james becomes the measure of true religion and james would tell us you have no more true religion than you have a bridled tongue having then extracted the principle from this text we have been looking at several of the paths down which a bridle tongue will not go a bridle tongue will

2:21 not be guilty of breaking the ninth commandment thou shalt not bear false witness either in the obvious sense of telling a lie actually in the obvious sense of telling a lie actually in the obvious sense of telling a lie constructing a lie or a story or in the less obvious and this is more our sin passing on as facts that which we are not certain are indeed facts being guilty of tail bearing then we looked at what paul calls in ephesians for corrupting speech let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth that's speech that does not have wholesome edifying content and just as the body is poisoned by rancid food so the spirit is poisoned by rancid words that's what paul's talking about let no corrupt communication and then last week we looked at paul's teaching in colossians 3 8 on abusive speech in that text where paul says that all abusive speech is to be put away from us that kind of speech in which the tongue is turned into a weapon either a defensive weapon or an offensive weapon but a weapon

3:44 nonetheless that cuts and lashes and wounds and leaves open sores now we come this morning to the last of these specific sins of the tongue that i wish to treat in this particular series you for i remind you of what i said earlier this is not an exhaustive treatment of the sins of the tongue that would literally take months and months of exposition rather it is intensely pastoral in its framework this series in that i've tried to zero in upon the sins which i have sensed have gained some measure of i don't want to use the word acceptance i hope they haven't gained acceptance but they have found their entrance to the church and they have found their entrance to the church and they have found their entrance to the church and they have found their entrance to the church not in a sense that the assembly is infected with them but if they are not corrected it could well be and the fourth of these is what i'm calling unwarranted speech or the sin of gossipy meddlesome speech now in order to think our way through this particular path down which a bridal tongue will not go we will first of all look at the key text in scripture which treat this particular sin having said that we are not to be corrected by the church we are to be corrected by the church

Biblical Texts on Gossipy Meddlesome Speech

5:01 and then expounded those verses briefly we shall then in the second place describe the sin in its various forms thirdly we shall consider when and where this sin is most often committed and then we will in the fourth place conclude with a practical exhortation all right very briefly then there are several texts of scripture in which this particular sin is explicitly treated the first is second thessalonians chapter three and the second is chapter three and the third is chapter three and verse eleven and as you turn to the passage may i say that i take no personal joy in doing what i'm doing this morning and in the past three lord's day mornings i would much rather be opening up some passage this morning dealing with the glory of christ with some aspect of the work of christ but i remind you that since christ's glory is bound up with his body the church you do not really long for the glory of christ unless you're willing to think about the glory of christ and face specific sins in detail which may be obscuring his glory in your life and in the life of our congregation so if anyone's tempted to make a pious out this morning and say oh i wish the pastor would give us something on the glory of christ my friend if you're not willing to face your sins your sins of the tongue you don't want the glory of christ you just want something

6:26 detached from your own life that's all if you long for his glory you don't want the glory of christ you just want something detached from your own life you're willing for the pain of the excising work of the holy spirit cutting out of us that which detracts from his glory second thessalonians chapter three the context begins with verse six in which paul is commanding the brethren to do something that sounds very strange in our lovey-dovey day he's commanding certain christians to withdraw from other christians today is the day of the brotherness orgy everybody get together at any cost at any price let's get together well paul says it's a time uh to bust apart at the seams he says withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly and not after the tradition which they received of us and then he goes on to deal with what a disorderly brother is and in the context of dealing with disorderliness particularly the disorder list of non-working christians those that were so hyper spiritual they were going to sit around and meditate and pray till the lord came he said well let their meditation be interrupted with a growling tummy and when they come to you and tell you how spiritual they are you tell them no food for you buster till you go out and get a job if any man will not work let him not eat this is the context now in that setting this is what he

7:53 verses 10 and 11 for even when we were with you this we commanded you if any man will not work neither let him eat for we hear of some that walk among you disorderly that work not at all but are here's the word busybodies and in the original there's a play on words the word for work is the same root word in the two words they do not work at all but their tongues are working too much that's the best way you can render it in the uh english or we might do it this way they do not do their own thing but they're always meddling in the things of others and so in this particular text we see a description of the sin that i'm zeroing in upon this morning the sin of gossipy meddlesome speech now though this describes a total situation a person who is not working and with his idle time becomes a busybody that sin is not limited only to those who are in that total picture the seeing is found in other settings. John Gill says of this particular word, busybody, these following words, though they work not at all at their own business, yet they're very busy in other men's

9:15 matters and have the affairs of kingdoms and cities and towns and neighborhoods and churches and families upon their hands, which they thrust themselves into and intermeddle with, though they have no business at all with them. These wander from house to house and curiously inquire into personal and family affairs, are tattlers full of prate and of talk. There's the description of the sin that we're talking about this morning. Now, the second text which zeros in upon this sin is 1 Timothy chapter 5. And I remind you, all we're doing now is to try and look at the key passages of the book of Acts. And I remind you, all we're doing now is to try and look at the key passages of the book of Acts. And I remind you, all we're doing now is to try and look at the key passages which lay out the sin that we're talking about. 1 Timothy chapter 5. Again, the setting is

10:11 Paul's treating of the subject of widows. And we're not going to go into the whole subject here. That's not our purpose. I just want to give a word about the context. Now, he's giving some practical direction as to why younger widows should not be given certain privileges and certain responsibilities. And in the midst of this, he says, 1 Timothy 5, 13, And with all they, these younger widows, learn to be idle, going about from house to house, and not only idle, but now here are three words, but tattlers also, and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. Now, let's look at the three words. First of all, he says, they are tattlers. It could be rightly translated, they are gossipers.

11:02 They overflow with talk, always willing to talk about this one and that one in this circumstance and that circumstance. Whatever they may lack in grace or in good judgment, they never lack in words. The only other place this text occurs, or this word, and it occurs in the verb form, is 3 John 10, and it's translated there, prating. And I think it's a very descriptive word.

11:28 A prating fool, you read in the book of Proverbs. The person who is gossipy. And the second word is meddlesome. And this is the same word that we had in Thessalonians. Tattlers and busybodies, meddlesome. They are involving themselves in others' people's business, which is none of their business. And then the third thing that is said about them, they speak things that are not proper or right, things which they ought not to speak. That's why I used it. That's why I upset the term unwarranted speech. Things that they have no right to say. It is not their duty to say, neither love nor circumstances demand it, but they say them anyway. They are guilty of gossipy, meddlesome speech. One other key text in the New Testament is 1 Peter chapter 4. Now the context is Peter's exhortation to believers not to be disturbed if they suffer as Christians.

12:40 He says that's part and parcel of being a Christian, suffering. And it should fill you with joy. But he says, let none of you suffer for inconsistent Christian living. And in that setting, I read now from verse 15 of 1 Peter 4.

12:57 For let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler in other men's matters. But if any man suffer as a Christian...

13:10 Let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in this name. You see what he's saying? He's saying there is a sin that is put in the same ballpark with murder and with thievery and evildoing that is totally inconsistent with Christian profession. It is the sin of being a meddler in other people's matters. In other words, not minding your own business.

13:39 Now, the proper translation of this word is, it is difficult. Because, among other reasons, it's only found once in the New Testament. So you can't compare how the Holy Ghost used it elsewhere. And one of the most recent lexicographers, a man who lives and earns his living by studying words, says that the precise meaning cannot, with any degree of certainty, be ascertained.

14:01 It is sometimes translated and has been understood in past days to teach the bishop who goes into another man's diocese, But it is noran or swept in heaven! Here's … … … … … … another man's diocese it would have been better if they went back and studied the word bishop and saw that bishop is parallel to elder and there is no such thing as a diocese but that's neither here nor there now some have tried to translate it as an insurrectionist a person who rises up you see and seeks to rule in the domain of another and this they found then as a warrant for telling christians never to rise up and to be part of any kind of a violent overthrow of a government but most of the translators and most of the lexicographers those who seek to define the greek words for us agree that there is good warrant for the standard translation found in

15:23 most of our english versions namely a meddler in the affairs of another god has given to every man and every woman his or her domain of rule and responsibility the sin envisioned here is the person who intercedes intrudes himself into the domain of another and makes it his business generally in his verbalizing of his opinions, his ideas, his feelings about that sphere of another. Hence it is translated, I think, in the King James Busybody here in the ASV as a meddler in other men's matters. Now we could add to these three New Testament texts a few texts from the Old Testament, and I want you to look at them with me briefly.

Old Testament Warnings Against Tale-Bearing and Whispering

16:17 First of all, Leviticus 19, verse 16.

16:26 Leviticus 19 and verse 16.

16:32 Thou shalt not go up and down as a tail-bearer among thy people. You see the picture? Here's the person that runs up and down from tent to tent in Israel saying, Oh, did you hear this? Did you hear this?

16:48 Up! Up and down the land as a what? A bearer of tales.

16:53 Not minding his own business, but involving himself in the business of others. Now turn to the book of Proverbs, and we have, as we do with all of these practical matters, a great wealth of material here. Proverbs 11 and verse 13. He that goeth about as a tail-bearer revealeth secrets, but he that is of a faithful spirit, concealeth a matter.

17:20 Here's the person you can always count on, to blurt out to somebody whatever they know.

17:26 Of sanctified concealment they know nothing. They go about as a tail-bearer revealing secrets. You see, meddling in matters that are none of their business, or disclosing matters that may be their business to others whose business it is not.

17:45 Again, Proverbs 18 and verse 8. The words of a tail-bearer, the authorized version, and it's a different word in the Hebrew. And so rightly, the ASV translators have translated it differently. The words of a whisperer are as dainty morsels.

18:07 They go down into the innermost parts. Here's the whisperer. Did you know? Did you hear?

18:15 Or have you wondered why? Have you considered that? You see, the whisperer. I've got something that's a little bit...

18:24 You know, a little esoteric, a little bit... I've got something on the...

18:27 I've got the inn on something. And I want to let you in. The whisperer. It's a very graphic word, isn't it?

18:35 Proverbs 20 and verse 19.

18:40 He that goeth about as a tail-bearer revealeth secrets. And I hope to expound the last part of the verse next week when we come to the practical directives on how to obtain a bridled tongue. Here's one of them. Therefore, company not with him that openeth wide his lips.

18:56 There is social ostracism. There is organization for people who are tail-bearers. And I believe as a congregation, the way some tail-bearers in our midst are going to really deal with their sin is when we as a congregation begin to do what this says. And we start cutting ourselves off from social fellowship with those who become to us whisperers and tail-bearers and gossipers.

19:23 This is biblical. We found it in the New Testament. Do not keep company. Here it is in the Old Testament.

19:30 One other thing. One other thing. One other text in the Old Testament. And then we'll begin to treat the sin in some detail.

19:36 Chapter 26 and verse 20.

19:41 For lack of wood the fire goeth out, and where there is no whisperer, contention ceases.

19:52 Isn't that a beautiful description? You don't put any more logs in the fire, what happens? It becomes dull embers and finally nothing but white ashes. He says, if only you can take the whisperer out of the situation, contention will die.

20:06 The clear teaching being as long as the whisperer is there, contention is inflamed continually and continually. All right, now from these passages, I hope it is clear that we're dealing with a very specific category of the sins of the tongue. It is that use of the tongue in which we verbally traffic in what is none of our business. A gossip, a busybody, a meddler in other people's matters.

Description of Gossipy Meddlesome Speech: Probing

20:34 And I've taken all this time, to lay the exegetical foundation because nothing is more sickening than exhortation that simply comes out of a hobby that the preacher wants to ride and not out of the stuff of divine truth in the scriptures. Now, having laid this biblical foundation, consider in the second place a more detailed description of this sin in its various forms. And I want to suggest this morning three ways in which this sin participates. And I want to suggest this morning three ways in which this sin participates.

21:09 Number one, it manifests itself in a congregation of God's people. Number one, it manifests itself in seeking to discuss with people things in their lives which are none of our business and which they are not particularly inclined to share with us.

21:26 Let me give it to you again. Seeking to discuss with people things in their lives which are none of our business and which they are not particularly inclined to share with us. One of the manifestations of Adamic nature is this idle curiosity to know things that are none of our business. I wonder, if I've tried to analyze it this week, I wonder if it isn't a little bit of a craving to be God.

21:57 He's omniscient and knows all things. And we're not content that we're creatures and know very little. And just as we seek to be God in so many other areas and usurp the rights of the deity, I wonder, if this isn't part of the evidence of our fallenness, we want to be omniscient. I want to be able to look at my brother and know everything about him that I want to know, even though three-quarters of it may be none of my business.

22:20 You look at your sister, you want to know everything, and it's none of your business. None of my business. And this particular sin of being a meddler in others' matters, being gossipy, being a busybody, is evidenced in this way. Let me descend even to more particulars.

22:41 There are times when we seek to probe into people's financial status, and it's none of our business. We seek to probe into perhaps their budding romantic interest, and it's none of our business. We seek to probe into perhaps the personal and intimate matters of their family life, which are none of our business. And that probing is not with a view that they've sent out signals saying, I have needs, I'm in desperate straits, will you help me?

23:12 Because you see, love doesn't wait for details before it gives itself to prayer. All a brother or sister needs to say is, look, I'm in need. And you say, that's all I need to know. I'll go down on my face before God on your behalf.

23:26 But this meddlesome spirit says, well, you know, I'd like to be a bit more intelligent as I pray. Oh, what a pious fraud. God knows what the need is. And if your brother or sister has only felt free to disclose, oh, so much, don't be guilty of a form of mental and spiritual rape in probing into areas that are none of your business.

23:52 And I speak as a counselor to a flock who've shared with me some of the deepest details of their lives, and yet I'm always conscious when I sit there in my study, I must not be guilty of spiritual rape.

24:07 And there's not a one of you who can say that you've ever felt that in my presence by God's grace. Whatever you've been willing to share, I've assured you it would be lovingly received and prayerfully considered. There are times when I've even said to some, you tell me no more. You've told me enough.

24:25 I know the general area. I need to know no more. Now listen, if that's true of me as a pastor, who if anyone amongst us should have access to the deepest secrets of the hearts of his people, how much more should it be true of many of you who meddle in areas I wouldn't think of meddling in a hundred years.

Description of Gossipy Meddlesome Speech: Discussing Others' Affairs

24:45 This is how the sin man, who has manifested self seeking to probe into aspects of the lives of people, none of our business and they are not inclined to share with us medals. See it? Secondary, talking and discussing with people, things concerning others, which are none of our business.

25:08 You see, not trying to probe into this particular brother in areas in none of my business, but talking to my brother over here about things concerning him, which are none of our business at all. The scripture says in Romans 14, to his own master, a servant standeth or falleth. What right have you to discuss with another Christian whether Mr. and Mrs. so and so should have bought the new car they bought?

25:34 What business is that of yours? I ask you, what business is it of yours? What business is that of yours? How do you know where the money came from?

25:45 How do you know what the motives were? You see, discussing whether or not, whether or not so and so had a right to do this or to do that, that involved domestic judgments and domestic problems, whether so and so should or does or doesn't. Now I'm going to touch pretty close, because I know this is a matter that's been discussed among some of you. So and so does or doesn't send his or her children to Christian school and why they do or don't, that is none of your business.

26:21 To his own master, a servant standeth or falleth. I stand before God in the stewardship of my parental responsibility with regard to my children. I don't stand to you. And if I should see for reasons that Mrs. Martin and I have wrestled through, solid reasons, whether they were financial or social or any other, is none of your business. If we should feel before God that we should draw one, two or three of our children and put them in a public school, don't you judge me. I stand or fall to my own master. That's why I don't judge you who don't have your children in Christian school.

27:00 I'm convinced of Christian school.

27:03 I preach the principles. But I can say before God, I look any of you in the eye who don't send your children to Christian schools, and I don't judge you. You answer to God, not me. If I as a pastor take that position, you better take that position.

27:20 I know I'm touching close to home, but I love you enough to be faithful to you and to deal with these things that under God must be dealt with. Why did so-and-so do this? That's none of your business.

27:38 You seem meddlesome, a busybody, a gossip, talking and discussing with others things concerning others which are none of our business. No, listen carefully. If our brother or sister have clearly sinned, then what you are to do is clear in the Bible. If thy brother be overtaken in a fault, go tell him his fault between thee and him alone.

28:04 If I feel my brother has sinned in not doing a certain thing or in doing another thing, I'm to go to him alone and say, my brother, I feel before God you've sinned, and here are the passages I entreat you to face your sin and to repent of it. Or we have the directive of Matthew 18. If the brother sins against you, you go and you exhort him and he doesn't face his sin. You bring the witnesses.

28:30 If it's not dealt with, you tell the church. Or you have Luke 17.3. If thy brother sinned against thee, rebuke him.

28:36 If he repents, forgive him. The Bible is very clear as to what I'm to do where my brother or sister clearly sins. But in areas that are matters of liberty, keep your mouth shut. Don't you dare become a god and judge your brother and talk to someone else about your pompous assessment of their right and their wrong.

Usurping God's Role as Judge

29:05 When did God abdicate his throne? And ask you to be his substitute?

29:12 Listen to James as he touches this very issue later on in his letter. Ah, listen to him. Listen. James 4, verse 11.

29:21 Speak not one against another, brethren. He that speaketh against a brother or judgeth his brother speaketh against the law and judgeth the law. But if thou judgeth the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge. But only one is the lawgiver and the judge, even he who's able to save and to destroy.

29:52 But who art thou that judgeth another?

29:57 You see what he says? He says, you're playing God. Get down off that throne and let God get back on it.

30:05 And so he's saying, some of you know that I say this in jest. Some of you fellows, I do it occasionally with some of the girls, but mostly with the fellows. Recently, one of the guys began to let his mustache go hanging over the edges. I said, now look, what I say to you now, I don't tell you as your elder, your pastor.

30:25 I have no verses in the Bible to say what shape your mustache should be, that it should or should not be. That's a matter between you and the Lord. But as a friend and a brother, I wish you'd trim it this way. I think you'd look better.

30:37 Now, why, even though I do it in jest, why am I careful to say, now look, what I'm telling you, I'm not telling you as your pastor, as an elder charged with oversight. Because the Bible doesn't give me anything to say whether a man should have his hair here, here, there, this much fuzz or that much fuzz on his lip or on his side cheeks.

30:58 And I would be chirping the rights of God if I were to judge him for the style of his clothes, the length of his hair.

31:10 I have a right to have my personal opinions. Here, Mrs. Blair lets me know, Pastor, I don't like beards. If you grow one, I won't come to church.

31:24 And we have good laughs about it as we share together. And it's a little thing between us. And I know she'll accept the spirit in which I've shared it.

31:42 And when we talk about it and I say, Ah, but Mrs. Blair, we don't have any. She says, I know, but I just don't like them. And I say, all right, fine.

31:50 And out of regard, you see, for an individual, I may alter some. You have your opinion. You can say I do or don't like wide lapels. That's your privilege.

31:58 If you talk about some brother or sister who begins to wear six-inch lapels on the coat, then you've become God. You see?

32:10 You have every right as a parent to say, I feel before God I can do nothing else with regard to my children than have him in a Christian school. All right and well. Don't you judge the other parent who has other priorities?

32:27 Suppose the alternative between two families is this. Have children in Christian school. The wife must go out to work.

32:35 Someone feels like she's going to die. The wife feels very strongly. The Bible is very clear. Women are to be keepers at home.

32:40 They say, I can rather trust God if I'm a mother at home to neutralize the influence of the public school upon my children than I can trust God to neutralize the influence of a worn-out mother at home.

32:56 Oh, you say, all right, you're free to make your judgment, which has the priority. But don't you judge your brother or sister who comes up with the priority shifted a little bit.

Illustration: Mind Your Own Business

33:07 And I see these things as a pastor, you see. And some of you would love for me. I know you would. You'd love to me be a crusader and tear this pulpit to pieces and say, if you don't have your kids in a Christian school, you're going to hell.

33:19 I won't do it. I'm not God.

33:23 I'm not God.

33:30 And I know I'm getting close to him. But I feel these things must be dealt with.

33:37 I'll never forget, if I may bring in an illustration. I was a freshman in a certain school that was very unsympathetic to what I believed. And I believed a lot of things then that I don't believe now. But I still believed enough then that was out of joint with what was around me.

33:54 And there was a dear missionary who was home on furlough, who was a faculty member. And we became quite close. And one day, they did everything but name his name from the pulpit in the chapel. Oh, did they take my dear friend, Dr. So-and-so, to pieces.

34:07 Oh, did they take him to pieces. So I was going to be his comforter. You know, big shot freshman. I'm going to be the comforter of the doctor.

34:14 So I went to his office. And I said, Doc, so-and-so, they really gave it to you in the chapel this morning, didn't they? And I'll never forget what he did. He turned and he looked at me.

34:23 He had one of these kind of faces. He said, when he looked at you like that, he just wanted to, you know, draw a little circle. Take a coping saw and cut it. Down.

34:36 He never said a thing from when he looked at me. He said, my brother, the chapel speaker will give account of himself to God. I will give account of myself to God. You will give account of yourself to God.

34:49 Oh, was my young mouth shut up quick. You see, I was trying to engage him in conversation about things that were none of our business. If he had been offended and felt so, it was his responsibility to go to the chapel speaker and deal with him. And he was telling me in no uncertain terms, mind your own business, young fella.

35:12 And I'll never forget those words of exhortation. I thank God, faithful are the wounds of a friend. I tell you, it hurt. I left that office wondering, hmm, some kind of friend he is.

35:22 Here you come to snuggle up to him and commiserate and cry. I and our beer together. And what does he do but turn around and whack me in the ribs and say, mind your own business. But I thank God for it.

Description of Gossipy Meddlesome Speech: Passing on Unnecessary Information

35:34 That's what we're talking about. Well, I must hurry on, touch briefly in the third place. The third manifestation of this sin is this. Not only seeking to discuss things with individuals that are none of our business in which they do not indicate they want to share with us.

35:51 Secondly, discussing with other people things concerning others which are none of our business. But thirdly, passing on general information about people and their lives for which there is no necessity.

36:05 This is what the Bible means, I believe, by the general term, tail bearing.

36:11 This unwholesome preoccupation with making yourself the town crier in the church or in your neighborhood. Always wanting to be the first one to tent, to pull back the flap and say, have you heard the latest?

36:27 And again, I don't know what, what is there about? Is that we want to be the first one to pass on a certain bit of information? What is there about that? I don't know.

36:33 I don't understand the psychology of it.

36:36 But I'm sure it doesn't come from there. It comes from there.

36:41 That's being a gossip, meddlesome in other people's matters, passing on general information about people that is not necessary. Well, very quickly now, let me just speak on a very practical line in the third place. Where and when is this sin most often committed? Well, you remember in the second Thessalonians 3, passage, it was these people who didn't work and they had idle time on their hands and they became busybodies.

When and Where This Sin is Committed

37:07 You remember in the first Timothy 5 passage, it was these widows who went from house to house. One man translated it this way, very contemporary, gadding about from house to house. That's the picture. So you see, it was in their casual social contacts in a relaxed situation which let down the bars of restraint.

37:30 And then this sin, was committed. Now, we have a problem they didn't have in the early church. You don't need to gad about from house to house to be guilty of this sin. You can bring house to house into your own room by means of that little thing that Bell Telephone puts there for a price.

37:48 And you can bring house to house into your own home by means of your telephone. And I'm absolutely convinced that probably 80 to 90 percent of the sin that we're dealing with this morning is committed by means of the telephone. In this congregation, I'm not talking about others. I'm talking about this congregation.

38:08 And it's the peculiar temptation of you women. Now, I'm not a chauvinist. You women know that. If you were here yesterday and heard me tell Paul how he's to treat Elaine, you know I'm not a chauvinist.

38:17 He's to love her as Christ loved the church no matter what weaknesses or sins he sees. No, I'm not a chauvinist. I don't demean women, but I'm speaking faithfully. Listen to me.

38:26 You women have a peculiar temptation and you single women even a peculiar, peculiar temptation. That's right. Because you have all the longings and all the natural, wholesome desires for the community of a family and God has not providentially given it to you. Hence, you have in that sense social needs that must be met outside the circle of your own four walls.

38:52 And it's only legitimate that you should perhaps be more on the phone and more in the homes of others. And I am not in any way condemning that. What I'm saying is it is your special condition temptation to use this as an occasion for meddling in other people's matters. Oh, the poisoning of the mind, the infecting of the spirit, the erecting of barriers caused by this kind of gossip.

39:22 There are times when I just wish I could pull out of my ears what someone has put in because what went into the ears was converted into a barrier that the next time I saw a certain brother, there it was. I didn't create it. He didn't create it. The gossiper created it.

39:37 And there was no way to remove it but to say, brother, I listened to something about you. I shouldn't have. Please assure me it's not so. And tell him and then it's allowed.

39:48 How many barriers have you erected between the people of God by your gossip, by your meddling in other people's matters? No, no. This sin is often committed in those circumstances of informal and innocent social contact which become, becomes the stepping stone into that sin. And may I say even more personally, the more a church has a biblical concept of being a family, the more possibility there is of this sin being committed.

40:22 You see, if we were just a group of people that came here, heard a sermon for an hour, went our way and never saw one another until next week, wouldn't be much problem. But we are seeking to be a family of God. We're seeking to be involved with one another's lives. And the devil knows that.

40:38 And he hates that. Because he knows that this is a therapeutic, healing, restorative relationship. That's why the devil hates intimacy amongst the people of God. So if he can't get us just to be a group of people who gather under the same roof to hear the same words and sing the same songs and go our merry individual ways, when he sees us concerned about the biblical concept, one member suffers, all suffer with it.

41:06 One member rejoices all rejoice with it. Bear ye one another's burdens so fulfill the law of Christ. Exhort one another daily. Pray for one another.

41:16 When he sees us dead in earnest about obeying those things, you know what he's going to do? Say, all right, I couldn't get them there. I'll get them here. And I'll turn what is a blessing in itself into a curse.

Gossip as a Sign of an Unregenerate Heart

41:30 You see it? And I feel we are in a place of peculiar danger because God is doing a wonderful thing amongst us in giving us this sense of community and of mutual responsibility. Well, let me say in closing, and this is my closing exhortation. Next week, Lord willing, I hope to give some positive principles.

41:54 I've been gleaning them all during these weeks of preparation as I've looked at many passages in the scripture, about five or six practical biblical directives as to how to construct a bridle for your tongue. That'll be our theme. We're going to go to the workshop and see the materials. God's given us to construct a bridle for our tongues.

42:13 But let me just say this much this morning because I don't know that I'll be here next week nor that you will be either. For some of you, the problem I've dealt with this morning is the cardinal manifestation, listen carefully, of your unregenerate state. You see, for the drunkard, the man who wakes up, if he wakes up at all, and looks at his own red eyes and his red face and all the marks of his drunkenness, upon him, for that man, the cardinal manifestation of his bondage to sin is his bondage to the buff.

42:52 For the covetous man who sees himself, as it were, wedded to things, his covetousness is the cardinal manifestation of his bondage to sin. I would be greatly surprised if there were not some here this morning to whom the sin of gossip and a meddlesome tongue is not the primary manifestation of your unregenerate state. Because you remember the words of Jesus in Matthew 12? In the context of the speech of the Pharisees, he said, a tree is known by its fruits.

43:24 Make the tree good and the fruit good, or the tree corrupt and its fruit good and its fruit corrupt, for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. Follow me closely now. There are some of you, some of you, I would be greatly surprised if there are not some of you here this morning who will never be able to submit to the biblical directives concerning a bridled tongue in this area until the tree is changed. You need to be born again.

43:53 Your cardinal sin is a gossiping, meddlesome, intruding tongue. And until the Holy Ghost gives you a new heart, you'll never be able to bridle that tongue. So I call upon you this morning, if you've seen yourself, and oh, may God help you to be honest, if he's held up the mirror and it's turned in your direction, don't you run. If you run now, there's a time coming when the mirror will be held up and you can't run.

44:26 That's the day of judgment. And conviction of sin in the heart of a man is always a preview of the day of judgment. He wants to run, but he knows I dare not. God help you not to run, to face yourself and then look to the great liberator.

44:40 Thou shall call his name Jesus, for he shall save his people from their what? From their sins. He'll save you from the sin of a meddlesome gossipy tongue. And in its place, he'll give a tongue that is a fountain of life, that heals, that is restrained, that is a virtuous tongue.

45:01 And so from facing this sin, I would turn you to the Savior and tell you to call upon him. And as that man in his blindness, knowing there was no hope, but in the Son of God cried out, Son of David, have mercy. Some of you look upon that unruly member and say, Son of David, have mercy. This is untamable, but by thy grace.

Practical Directives for Believers

45:26 And then to you as a child of God, who know that by God's grace you have passed from death into life, and yet you must hang your head this morning and say, Oh God, I've been guilty. What do you do with this sin? Well, you better cry to God to slay the attitude that produces you. You know what produces this sin, among others?

45:47 Other things. It's a subtle feeling of self-righteousness. Remember the parable we've been studying Sunday night? He spoke this parable to certain who trusted in themselves that they were what?

46:00 Righteous. And what was the corollary of that? They set all others at naught. When you take upon yourself to be a judge of others, what you're really saying is, I have superior judgment.

46:13 I have made superior decisions.

46:17 My friend, you need a sight of yourself. It'll crush you in the dust until you say, I'm less than the least of all the saints. Who am I to be their judge? That's the problem.

46:32 It's that spirit of the Pharisaic pride. And it could be, in other cases, a cruel spirit of destruction,

46:41 both of which are foreign to the spirit of the gospel. Child of God, cry that the Lord would slay the attitude in the heart that produces this speech upon the lip. And then a very practical directive. Pray whenever you're in social contact with the people of God that God will set a watch upon your lips.

47:03 I'm going to suggest something this morning that's going to sound radical to some of you. But I think the treatment with some of you needs to be radical. What would you think about making it a practice whenever anyone calls on the phone who's another believer,

47:18 that before you say anything except, hello, how are you? You pause right on the phone and one of you lead in prayer and pray words, like this, Lord Jesus,

47:29 set a watch upon our lips that nothing will pass over these telephone wires contrary to your will and to your word. Oh, you say that's ridiculous. Well, my friend, some of you need some pretty ridiculous treatment to get that tongue of yours harnessed.

47:49 I've tried to make it a practice with my brethren, not always legalistically, but, oh, it's helped. Whenever I'm together with preachers, before we go too far into conflict, pray together. Oh, what a time. Oh, what a time.

48:01 Oh, what a difference it makes about what you talk about. How about you students? When somebody comes to your room before taking this faculty member apart and that one in front of us, what would you just say? Look, let's have a word of prayer and ask the Lord to bless us.

48:16 Make a difference, wouldn't you?

Pastoral Exhortation and Conclusion

48:20 Oh, that God will put a bridle upon our tongues. Some of you who may be visiting with us, I don't want you to get the impression that we're coming apart at the seams as a congregation. No, you looking in on the outside, you'd say, well, that's the thing that impressed me about the church. Everybody seemed to love one another and be dwelling together.

48:36 Listen, it's not an accident that it is this way. We don't wait till the sins get to the epidemic stage before we deal with them. That's the problem in church after church after church. Fearful pastors who will see symptoms of sin but shut their mouths until they get to such proportion that angels wouldn't dare wade in and try to deal with it.

49:01 None.

49:03 They bring these things before you out of a deep sense of responsibility and stewardship. In this awful place, the pulpit, by which the health and the well-being of this congregation is in great measure determined. And I speak out of a deep sense of pastoral constraint and call upon you as God's people this morning to face the fact that the measure of true religion in your life is a bridled tongue. Is your tongue bridled from going down the path of gossipy, unwarranted, meddlesome speech?

49:38 If not, to a great extent, your religion is vain. Your worship this morning has been vain. God has looked upon it with disgust. Unless leaving this place, you leave with a bridled tongue.

49:52 May God give us all grace to face the truth, to flee to his Son, and to find grace in Christ to obey for our good and for his glory. Let us pray.