Directives for Bridling the Tongue, Part 2

The Pervasive and Dangerous Nature of Sins of the Tongue

0:03 The following sermon was delivered on Sunday morning, January 19, 2003, at Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey. Second only to the sins of the mind and of the thoughts, no sins are easier to commit than are the sins of the tongue.

0:29 Do you hear me? Second only to the sins of the mind and of the thoughts, some of which have been committed right here in this place in the past 50 minutes since we began our worship. Second only to such sins. No sins are easier to commit than are the sins of the tongue.

1:01 And yet, perhaps no... No category of sin is indulged with less concern, less sense of guilt, less sense of shame, than are the sins of the tongue.

1:19 However, over against this careless attitude to the sins of the tongue stand the changeless, sobering words of our Lord Jesus. Every idle word. Every word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment, for by your words you shall be justified, and by your words you shall be condemned.

1:54 And it is in the light of these realities and my pastoral burden that we might align our thinking and our feeling and our speaking with them. That I've been preaching a series of sermons entitled, Now Concerning the Use of Our Tongues. And for our deaf friends, it would be entitled, Now Concerning the Use of Our Hands, When They Function in Place of Our Tongues. And in dealing with this subject, I began by setting before you five distinct categories of biblical truth.

2:36 All of which... To underscore the crucial importance of this issue of the use of our tongues.

2:44 I then proceeded to address some of the major sins of the tongue as they are identified in the word of God. Namely, the sin of lying, the sin of corrupt speech, the sin of abusive speech, and the sin of gossipy, intrusive, and meddlesome speech. And this was not in any way meant to be an exhaustive. Identification of the sins identified in scripture, but merely selective and suggestive.

The Essential Prerequisite: Regenerating Grace

3:15 We then proceeded to take up the question, how can we overcome the sins of the tongue? That is, what is the biblical antidote to this horrible plague of a sinning tongue? And in answering that question, I began with taking up with you what I call...

3:37 The Essential Prerequisite for Overcoming the Sins of the Tongue. And with Matthew 12, 34 to 36 as our major point of reference and exposition, we saw that the essential prerequisite for overcoming the sins of the tongue is nothing less than the gracious, supernatural work of regenerating, renewing grace. That work which in the Holy Spirit is the work of the Holy Spirit. In the language of that passage changes the evil tree or corrupt tree into a good tree so that it may bring forth the good fruit of good words.

4:18 Or in the second analogy used by our Lord, that the evil treasure of the heart will become a good treasure out of which will come good things, that is, good words. But then last Lord's Day, we took up the question, does this real, supernatural work, a radical transformation of heart, one of the great blessings of the new covenant, does it automatically work itself out in our speech patterns? Do we just sit back, shift into neutral, take our hands off the oars and say, well, the tree has been made a good tree, I'll just watch it bear good fruit. The treasure has been made a good treasure,

5:01 I'll just watch the good things spill out. And the answer to that question is no. The God...

Additional Directives: Prayer, Bridling, and Union with Christ

5:08 The God who transforms us is the God who tells us that we are responsible to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is He who is at work in us, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. And so I began to set before you what I call additional directives for overcoming the sins of the tongue. And we had time to consider three such directives, and we had time to consider three such directives, and they were these. Number one, we ought to engage in consistent, earnest prayer that God will guard the use of our tongues.

5:50 And we considered especially Psalm 141 in verse 3, where the psalmist using military imagery asked God to set up a garrison of soldiers before his mouth and to guard the door of his mouth. And taking that imagery, I set before you that rather Bunyan-esque perspective of those four captains who have a key in their hands, and they must put the key into the lock and retract the deadbolt until the door can open in a righteous way. Captain sanctity, captain love, captain necessity, and captain propriety.

6:35 And then secondly, we saw that if we are to over-exercise, overcome the sins of the tongue, we ought to engage in a conscious and constant effort to bridle our tongues. And we looked at two major texts, Psalm 39.1 and James 1.26.

6:52 And then thirdly, I set before you the fact that we ought to engage in a continuous biblical response to our union with Christ as it applies to the use of our tongues. Romans 6, and in particular, verses 11, to 14. Now we come this morning to take up several more biblical directives for overcoming the sins of the tongue. Directives that do not appear immediately on the surface of the text that we're going to consider, but which I trust, after examining the text with me, will persuade you that these are indeed

Directive 4: Honing the Conscience with Scripture

7:32 essential, vital, necessary biblical directives if we are to overcome the sins of the tongue. If we are to make continual progress in overcoming the sins of the tongue. So here's directive number four. We ought to engage in a continuous honing, H-O-N-I-N-G, honing of our consciences by the many scriptures which address the issue of the use of our tongues.

8:04 I'm asserting that according to the Bible, if you and I would make progress in overcoming the sins of our tongues, we ought to engage in a continuous honing of our consciences by the many scriptures which address the issue of the use of our tongues. Now by using the word honing, I hope you understand what I mean. If you were to go into a butcher shop and watch an expert butcher work, you would notice that next to his knives there would be a whetstone, and every so often he pauses in his cutting up of the meat to take his knife and to run it over the whetstone.

8:48 He is honing the edge of his knife which becomes dull as it cuts through the meat and touches bone. And if he is to cut and do his work efficiently as a butcher, he must keep a keen edge upon his knife. And the only way to do it is by continual honing because there are influences upon the edge of that knife as he cuts through the meat. He does his work as a butcher that continually take the edge off his knife.

9:17 And I am saying that in a similar way, our conscience is that internal moral monitor that says to us when we are about to speak, yes, that is righteous, no, that is sinful, or having spoken, gives us approval or condemns us for what we have said or the manner in which we have said it, that there are influences, there are continual influences to take the edge off our consciences. The influence of our remaining sin, the influence of the world with its horrible indifference to the sins of the tongue. And unless we are continually honing the edge of our consciences by the word of God,

10:00 we will make little or no progress in overcoming the sins of the tongue. We will be permitting in ourselves, and endorsing from others, things that God identifies as sin, but which we will not have the moral sensitivity to recognize as sin. Now this, of course, brings us immediately into this category of the place of the word of God in our ongoing sanctification generically. And the Bible is clear that if you and I are to make progress in the life of holiness, there must be continual, continuous, constant, vital interaction of our minds and hearts

10:44 with our Bibles. Psalm 1. How is the blessed man or woman described? Described not only negatively as the one who does not walk in the counsel of ungodly, sit in the seat of scoffers, etc.,

10:59 but he delights in the law of God, and on that law he meditates day and night. He is continually bringing mind and soul, perspectives, on all things into direct contact with his Bible. Or Joshua 1.9, This book of the law shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall meditate therein day and night, for so you will make your way prosperous and have good success.

11:26 Or the prayer of our Lord Jesus in John 17.17, Father, sanctify them in the truth. Your word is truth. Our Lord Jesus recognizes that His purpose, that His people be sanctified, will be realized only so far as the truth is continually exerting its influence upon them.

11:51 And then another passage you may want to look up at your leisure is Proverbs 4.20-23, in which the Father exhorts His Son to keep in constant contact with His words, and thereby He will be enabled to guard His heart above all that He guards, for out of it are the issues of life. So then, I'm asserting that if you're serious, if I'm serious about making progress in overcoming the sins of the tongue, we ought to engage in this continuous honing of our consciences by the many scriptures which address the issue of the use of our tongues. And therefore, I would urge you

12:36 to go over periodically the major texts that I used, in those five categories of the opening message showing how vital this is. Matthew 12, James 1, James 3, the Ten Commandments. But especially, I would urge you to be reading regularly in the book of Proverbs. And I'm going to do something this morning I've never done in 40 years of preaching here.

13:02 So I still learn new tricks. I'm not in a rut. I'm in a rut with my blue Oxford shirts, I know that. And my wingtips.

13:12 But if I got out of that rut, some of you would think the world was coming to an end. So I say, sartorially predictable, alright? But with respect to how we handle the Word of God, there are no artificial rules. And I want you to turn to the book of Proverbs, tighten your seatbelt, and I want us to do together what I'm urging you to do periodically.

13:33 And I'm only going to do it with the first half of the book of Proverbs. And I'm only being selective with the verses. In the first half of the book of Proverbs. Now you're ready to take your conscience regarding your tongue and put it on the whetstone and have it dragged over and back and forth?

13:53 Alright, here we go. We're going to whet our consciences by the Word of God. Proverbs, we start in chapter 4. And I'm going to read these verses without comment.

14:05 Now some of you sit there and say, huh, I bet you can't. The very fact that you're thinking it makes the stubborn streak in me say, I'll prove you wrong. Alright? Proverbs, chapter 4, verse 24.

14:20 Put away from you a wayward mouth and perverse lips. Put far from you. Chapter 6 and verse 12. A worthless person, a man of iniquity, is he that walks with a perverse, mouth.

The Role of God's Word in Sanctification

14:41 Chapter 6, verse 16. There are six things that the Lord hates. Yea, seven that are an abomination unto him. Haughty eyes, a lying tongue.

14:52 Verse 19. A false witness that utters lies and he that sows discord among brethren. Chapter 8, verses 6 to 8. Wisdom personified speaks.

15:10 Chapter 7. Chapter 8, verses 6 to 8. Hear, for I will speak excellent things and the opening of my lips shall be right things for my mouth shall utter truth and wickedness is an abomination to my lips. All the words of my mouth are in righteousness.

15:28 There is nothing crooked or perverse in them. Chapter 10 and verse 11. The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life but by the mouth of the righteous violence covers the mouth of the wicked. Chapter 10, verses 19 to 21.

15:48 In the multitude of words there lacks not transgression but he that refrains his lips does wisely. The tongue of the righteous is as choice silver. The heart of the wicked is of little worth. The lips of the righteous feed many but the foolish die for lack of righteousness.

16:10 Chapter 11, verse 13. He that goes about as a tale-bearer reveals secrets but he that is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter. Chapter 12, verses 17 to 19. He that utters truth shows forth righteousness but a false witness deceit.

16:32 There is that speaks rashly like the piercings of a sword but the tongue of the wise is health. The lip of truth shall be established forever but a lying tongue is but for a moment. Verse 22. Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord but they that deal truly are his delight.

16:58 Chapter 13, verse 3. He that guards his mouth keeps his life but he that opens wide his lips shall have destruction. Verse 5. A righteous man hates lying.

17:10 But a wicked man is loathsome and comes to shame. Chapter 14, verse 3.

17:19 In the mouth of the foolish is a rod for his pride but the lips of the wise shall preserve them. Verse 5. A faithful witness will not lie but a false witness utters lies. Verse 25 of the same chapter.

17:36 A true witness delivers souls but he that utters lies causes sin. Deceit. Chapter 15, verses 1 and 2. A soft answer turns away wrath but a grievous word stirs up anger.

17:52 The tongue of the wise utters knowledge aright but the mouth of fools pours out folly. Verse 4. A gentle tongue is a tree of life but perverseness therein is a breaking of the spirit. Verse 7.

18:08 The lips of the wise disperse knowledge but the heart of the foolish does not so. Verse 23. A man hath joy in the answer of his mouth and a word in due season how good it is. Verse 26.

18:26 Evil devices are an abomination to the Lord but pleasant words are pure. Verse 28. The heart of the righteous studies to answer but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil. Evil things.

18:44 Now I did it. No comment. I just ran your conscience back and forth over the whetstone of selected verses from one half of the book of Proverbs and some of the most penetrating, convicting, instructing, encouraging words and the use of the tongue are found in the last half. You say, you sure?

19:07 Yes. How do you know? Because I read it. Now you do the same.

19:12 Now this is what I'm talking about. If Jesus is praying, Father, sanctify them in the truth. Your word is truth. It will not do to moan and groan and mourn the fact that you're always flapping your lips and you're running off at the mouth and you're speaking cutting words and you're making no progress.

19:34 Get in touch with your Bible. Conscience honed by your Bible.

Practical Application: Reading Proverbs and Hearing God's Word

19:43 Frequent.

19:46 Contact. Contact. With the word of the living God.

19:55 Now what I plan to do to help you, I've spoken to Harry about this, I'm going to make a tape and a CD in which I'm simply going to read as I did this morning without comment major passages from the Old and the New Testament that deal with the use of the tongue.

20:14 Probably come out, I guess, to about maybe half an hour of pure Bible. And I'm going to try to read it thoughtfully, prayerfully, meaningfully, with emphasis as I did this morning. And make that available to you. Periodically stick that tape in.

20:28 Periodically stick that CD and shut off that rotten hell music in your ears. And get the music of heaven in your ears. And if you sow until these verses when you're tempted to speak, Captain, sanctity will be there armed with all these verses. And you say, no, no, no.

20:50 No way I'm going to stick my key in that door. Captain Love, and all, and all of those other guards upon the door of our mouths. I discovered something a few weeks ago when I began this series. And I've been haunted by it.

21:09 And I said, that's what we're talking about. This is the kind of seriousness. A number of years ago, there was a dear sister in this assembly that became aware of the fact that she had flapping lips. She talked too much.

21:22 And the Spirit of God dealt with her. And she had dealings with God. And whether it be she began with the series on the bridled tongue and the subsequent series I preached at a conference similar to that, I don't know. But this dear sister told me that what she did after God dealt with her, every six months she listened to those two series of sermons to do what?

21:45 To get her conscience honed afresh about this matter of the use of her. And all of us who know that sister will testify that we have seen and heard her progress in the sanctity and sanctification of her tongue singing it in constant contact with the Word of God that addresses the issue of the tongue.

22:14 Are you that serious? If you are singing and repenting and going back and moaning and groaning and repenting, you're really not serious about dealing with your sin. This is God's means that He has put in our hands. And so my fourth directive from the Bible to overcome the sins of the tongue is this.

22:42 You ought to engage in a continuous honing of your conscience by the many scriptures which address the issue of the use of your tongue. All right? Directive number five. And it is this.

Directive 5: Being Filled with the Spirit and Maintaining Spiritual Health

22:57 You must seek to be continually filled with the Holy Spirit or to state it in another way that perhaps doesn't carry the baggage of false associations with that term. You must maintain vigorous, general, spiritual health. You and I will not make progress in overcoming the sins of the tongue if that is one of our besetting sins unless we are committed to the maintenance of overall vigorous, spiritual health. And here I ask you to turn with me to Ephesians chapter five.

23:34 This will be our primary text. Ephesians chapter five. There's the word about the context of verses 18 to 21 from chapter four in verse 17 onward. Paul is describing the alternative lifestyle to which all true believers are called.

23:56 This I say therefore and testify in the Lord that you no longer walk as the Gentiles also walk. This is what he's saying. You're no longer to walk as your former pagan associates walk. You're to walk in the newness of life that is yours in union with the Lord Jesus Christ.

24:20 So from 417 onward we have various descriptions of this alternative lifestyle to which the people of God are called in Jesus Christ. And no little part of that lifestyle touches the use of our tongues. Look at verse 25. Wherefore putting away falsehood speak truth each one with his neighbor.

24:48 And then furthermore verse 29 we are told let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth but such as is good for edifying as the need may be that it may give grace to them that hear. Verse 31 let all bitterness wrath and anger and clamor and railing abusive speech be put aside. Put away from you with all malice. Chapter 5 and verse 4 neither filthiness nor foolish talking nor jesting which are not befitting but rather giving of thanks.

25:24 In other words as Paul envisions those Ephesian believers living out by the grace of God in union with Christ this alternative Christian lifestyle in the midst of their pagan associates he has in mind an alternative lifestyle that will very practically and pervasively influence what comes out of their mouths. And he's described those things primarily in negative terms not exclusively as we'll see tonight in tonight's message there is a very positive nuance in one of these texts I'm not going to tell you which one and preempt myself but for the most part it's in terms of negatives not this not this

26:08 not this no lying no bitterness no anger no railing no clamor etc. But now how is this to be done? Well when Paul comes to chapter 5 to summarize the exhortations notice what he says in verse 15 Look therefore carefully how you walk not as unwise but as wise in other words you and I are to have a conscious concern about the manner in which we walk that is whether or not by the grace of God we are living out this alternative lifestyle in union with Christ that is in marked contrast to the Gentiles to the pagans to the unconverted around us

26:51 look therefore carefully how you walk not as unwise but as wise redeeming the time buying up the opportunity because the days are evil wherefore do not be foolish but understand what the will of the Lord is understand what God's will for you is God's will for you in living out this alternative lifestyle in every department of your life without exception everywhere I am everything I do everything I say is to manifest I am new man new woman in union with Jesus Christ everything about me is to bear witness to that reality now he comes in verse 18

27:36 and do not be drunk with wine wherein is riot but be being filled with the Spirit be continually under the control and domination of the Spirit's influence be continually filled with the Spirit that's the imperative and then he gives five participles that I like to consider as the conduits that flow out of the Spirit-filled heart where you find a man where you find a woman a boy or a girl who is continually being filled with the Spirit what will the manifestation of that be? will it be that they bark like dogs

28:20 and jump like animals doing speed as some people up in Toronto and other places say or fall back down dead? no, no will they jump and scream and break out into gibberish and call it speaking no, no, no, no Paul says listen to me be continually filled with the Spirit and hear the conduit that flow out of the Spirit-filled heart into life and into other relationships here they are speaking one to another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord giving thanks always for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ

29:04 to God even the Father submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ five participles that describe the conduits that flow out of the Spirit-filled heart in life and three of them have to do with this member right here three of them three out of five look at them be being filled with the Spirit speaking singing giving thanks those are things you do with your tongue in other words Paul says the most effective way to have the tongue controlled and much better not to sin

29:47 and to be an instrument of praise to God edification to your brethren a tongue that is a fountain of life is to be filled with the Holy Spirit that is to maintain vigorous general spiritual health do you see that do you see that in the passage it's all on my face do you see that in your Bibles so then if you and I want to make progress in overcoming the sin of sin the sins of the tongue we must seek to be continually filled with the Spirit that is we must maintain vigorous general spiritual health and you see this leads us

30:31 into one of the most vital principles of the Christian life and it's very powerfully and clearly articulated by John Owen as so often in matters of the spiritual life John Owen says it and when he is done saying it once you work through the long sentences and the clauses and the rest you say that's it listen to what Owen said it is utterly impossible to keep the heart in a prevailing holy frame in any specific duty unless it be so in and unto all and every duty

31:12 if sin entanglements get hold in any one thing they will put themselves upon the soil of sin and that will be the first step they will put themselves upon the soil of sin and that will be the first step soul in everything. A constant even frame and temper in all duties, in all ways, is the only preservative for any one way. Let not him who is negligent in public duties persuade himself that all will be clear and easy in private duties. In other words, the man who's careless about the instituted means of grace within the church, let him not think he's going to have fruitful times

31:53 alone with God. If he thinks he is, he's self-deceived. And let not him who is careless in private means think he will prosper by public means. Owen says, no, there is a harmony in obedience. Break but one part and you interrupt the whole. Our wounds in particular arise generally

32:13 from negligence as to the whole course. That's what David said. David understood when he said, then shall I not be ashamed when I have respect unto all your commandments. A universal respect to all of God's commandments is the only preservative from shame and nothing have we more reason to be ashamed of than the shameful miscarriages of our hearts in specific points of duty which come from our violation of this principle. You see what Owen

32:45 is saying. You want to make progress? In this matter of controlling your tongue and the sins of your tongue, then you must be committed to being continually filled with the Spirit with a view that in all duties and in all relationships you will be manifesting the grace and power of Christ. That's the point. You can't be careless

33:09 and sloppy and lazy regarding the maintenance of your general spiritual state and expect progress in overcoming the sin of God. You must exercise discretion in the choice of your friends and in your voluntary social associations. Now hear me carefully. You must exercise discretion

The Importance of Holistic Obedience

33:50 in the choice of your friends and in your voluntary social associations. Now voluntary social associations, I mean those social associations where you have a choice as to who you'll associate with. In your place of work, there are some people you have to associate with. It's not your choice.

34:11 It was your employer's choice. He hired them. And you happen to be under the same roof, in the same cubicle, in the same part of the wing of the office. I'm talking about those social associations.

34:20 So be careful in thisgoing on the path of the Spirit. Put your hand up and let go. You disappeared from whose presence you had in the beginning, and in the fold of the

34:40 right hand. You disappeared from thep stitching upon the whole world without thathma which has left you. All right? So that's also going on today.

Discretion in Social Associations: Friends and Music

34:46 So Greediness Its Tariffs Greediness Its Tariffs Greediness Its Tariffs Greediness Its Tariffs Greediness Its Tariffs Greediness Its Tariffs Greediness Its Tariffs Greediness Its Tariffs the moral and ethical contagion by association. And where does it teach that? Well, it works in two ways. Turn to Proverbs 13 and verse 20.

35:03 It works both positively and negatively. Proverbs 13 and verse 20.

35:12 Walk with wise men and you shall be wise. In other words, when you voluntarily choose to come into close friendships with men and women of wisdom, their wisdom will rub off on you. As you listen, as you observe, as you interact, there will be a kind of spiritual osmosis in which their wisdom becomes yours by association. Walk with wise men and you shall be wise.

35:47 There's the positive, but look at the negative. But the companion of fools shall smart for it. You choose to be with fools. And remember, fools in the book of Proverbs especially are not people with limited IQ who only get 700 on their SATs.

36:06 No, no. Fools are morally perverse people whose moral perversity comes out in their tongues. So, Solomon is saying, And if you choose to be with fools, be a companion of fools, you'll smart for it. There will be a negative contagion of their spiritual folly.

36:26 It will get into your spiritual pores and into your system. And it will be coming out in many ways, not the least of which will be your mouth. And surely, this is what Paul meant when he said in 1 Corinthians 15, 22, Don't be deceived. Don't be deceived.

36:44 Evil companions corrupts good morals. Oh, but I'm so strong they will...

36:51 No, no, no. Get off that stuff. Who so trusts in his own heart is a fool, the Bible says. Oh, I'm so strong I...

37:00 No, no. You're a fool. If you think you're the exception to this, you're a fool, God says. Don't be a fool, young people.

37:09 You're a fool if you trust your own heart. I'll overturn this. I can walk with fools and not smart for it.

37:17 You're a fool. That's what God calls. You know, be not deceived. Evil companions corrupts good morals.

The Danger of Foolish Companionship and Sinful Silence

37:26 What's the first thing Solomon warns his son about in Proverbs chapter 1? After setting out the purpose of these Proverbs, and after entreating him to listen to his counsel, what's the first thing he warns him about starting in verse 10? You know? If you don't know, you ought to turn there.

37:46 The first thing he warns him about. Look at it. Proverbs 1.

37:53 After verse 8. Hear the instruction of your father. Forsake not the law of your mother. The blessings that will come.

38:00 Verse 10. My son, if sinners entice you, don't consent if they say, Come with us. Come with us. They know.

38:12 They're smarter than he is. They know if they can get him into intimate social contact, they'll get him into their moral perversity. And the father says, Son, don't do it. Don't do it!

38:26 Don't do it. Now, here we have a problem. We're struggling with this matter of controlling our tongue. And we've got some close friends.

38:37 And lo and behold, they've got the same problem. They've got flappy lips too.

38:44 They smart mouth their moms and dads. Like you are tempted to do.

38:53 They use corrupt speech. They use locker room talk. Like your...

38:59 Tempted to do.

39:03 They tell borderline dirty jokes. Like you're tempted to do. They lie and brag about it. Like you're tempted to do.

39:16 Now, what are you going to do?

39:19 If you don't exercise discretion and the determination to break off those friendships, you're a fool. And you do not have any grounds to believe you're serious. And you don't have any grounds to believe you're serious. About overcoming the sins of your tongue.

39:39 In a less gross manifestation, some of you have friends when you get on the phone.

39:45 Those friends gossip. Did you hear? Did you know? You're tempted to gossip.

39:51 The fundamental difference is you're waging all-out warfare and they aren't.

Explicit Directives: Withdrawing from Talebearers and Busybody

39:57 They're no help to you. They cause you to stumble and sin again and again and again. What are you to do? All right, let's look at the explicit directives of the book of Proverbs.

40:07 Proverbs and the book of 2 Thessalonians. Proverbs 20 and verse 19.

40:15 Don't take Pastor Martin's word for it by inference. Listen to the explicit directive of the word of God. Proverbs 20 and verse 19. He that goes about as a tail-bearer reveals secrets.

40:27 Therefore, do not keep company with him that opens wide his lips. See what God's saying? You got someone that opens wide their lips? Telling their tales?

40:41 Speaking where they ought not? God says, bug off, back out, get away. Oh, but they're my friends. Who's your friend more?

40:50 The Christ who redeemed you by his precious blood to give you a holy tongue? Or your friend who provokes you to sin? Who do you love more? Who do you love more?

41:05 But if that's so, then... Alone with who?

41:11 Alone with your Savior? Whose fellowship will be precious? In your social loneliness, if that's the price you pay to do what it says? The text could not be more explicit.

41:22 Company not with him that opens wide his lips.

41:28 Bug off!

41:33 Have the moral discernment and courage to say, You are no help to me. In overcoming the sins of my tongue, either change your ways or our friendship is over.

41:50 I said, Pastor, you're serious. You bet your boots I'm serious. Because that's what my Bible says.

The Influence of Music, Movies, and Books

41:57 And be clearer. 2 Thessalonians chapter 3. What does Paul say the church members are to do with this person walking in a disorderly way? He says, we command you.

42:11 Verse 6, we command you. 2 Thessalonians 3, 6. We command you, brethren, in the name of the Lord Jesus, withdraw yourselves from every brother that walks disorderly. And there were two manifestations of the disorderliness.

42:27 The prominent was, they were lazy. They wouldn't work. And Paul goes on to explain that. He says, a man won't work, let him not eat.

42:36 Withdraw from him, that he'll feel the pressure of that social ostracization and perhaps come to repentance. But there was a second manifestation of that disorderliness. Or, yes, of that disorderliness. And notice what it was.

Directive 7: Mutual Admonition and Correction

42:50 2 Thessalonians 3 and verse 12.

42:55 Now, verse 11. We hear that some walk among you disorderly. That work not at all, primary manifestation, but are busybodies. They don't work with their hands, but they're constantly flapping their tongues.

43:13 And he said, withdraw yourself from them.

43:18 Break off the social interaction.

43:22 Break it off to what end? That they might feel the pressure. That they might feel the pressure of being cut off from the people, of God, and if they're true saints, that kills them. True saints can't live in isolation with delight.

43:40 And they'll change their ways by the grace of God. Let me use a very silly illustration.

43:48 Here's a man that reads Prevention Magazine's article next month.

43:54 And this lead article is on the overwhelming evidence of the benefits of garlic to reduce cholesterol and to give you a healthy heart. And this guy says, well, I want to reduce my cholesterol and I want to have a healthy heart. And he doesn't take the time to do his research. Prevention is the last word on things.

44:17 And I know people like that. If it's in prevention, that's gospel. Whether there have been double-blind studies, whether there have been controlled studies, it doesn't matter. Prevention says it, that's gospel.

44:28 So he's one of these prevention nuts. This Prevention Magazine's his Bible. He's going to have a healthy heart. I mean, he's going to get his cholesterol down to 14.

44:36 I mean, whoa, he's going to do it. So he tells his wife, now, honey, I want you every week, I want you to pick me up a whole bunch of nice, fresh garlic. Because I've read in Prevention that just getting the garlic pills, getting it in isolation, nice coated pill, there's certain matters, ingredients in the natural garlic that help to be the catalyst to give the benefit of it. And so he determines that every morning he's going to put down four whole garlic cloves.

45:03 I mean, four. So he strips the husk off them and every morning, just before he goes out, he pops in his four cloves of garlic and he chews them and swallows them down. He goes bouncing off to work. I'm the most healthy-hearted guy in the world.

45:20 But what happens?

45:22 Coffee break comes. And he sits down with his associates and starts to talk, one by one. This one has to go to the bathroom and this one has to go back to the office soon. And lo and behold, he's left all alone, drinking his coffee.

45:39 So he goes back the next day. And the same thing happens. And he says, you know, what's wrong with me? Well, one day, one of his associates has the decency and the courage to take him aside and put the hand on his shoulder and say, John, I don't know what's happened to you, but I tell you, your breath has literally been curling my beard.

46:02 I go home and I got it. And someone else comes to him the next day and says, John, I don't know what's happened to you, but you know, my olfactory nerves are getting singed. I got so, I go home, I can't smell anything. And so his friends gather around him and tell him, John, if you want our company.

The Biblical Vision of the Church and Admonition

46:26 Another one of those stupid, silly Pastor Martin illustrations.

46:30 Did you see the application?

46:33 If you've got garlic breath, if your mouth is garlic breath, all right, you gossip,

46:43 you're a busybody, you're intrusive, abusive,

46:49 all of those areas of sin, and the people who are in the house, they're not going to tell you, they're going to tell you, smell your breath and do what God says. You see, what will happen to that sin sooner or later? You say, what's wrong? Nobody seems to be close to me.

47:04 And they say, John, you've got spiritual garlic breath.

47:10 My Bible says I'm not to company with those that are tailbearers. My Bible says I'm to withdraw myself from busybodies. And John, you're a tailbearer and a busybody. You speak negatively of brothers and sisters.

47:25 You speak with words. You speak with words that are unkind and ungracious. And John, the Bible says we're not to keep company with you. Well, one of two things are going to happen.

47:35 Is he going to say, well, I'm determined to have a good healthy heart and low cholesterol, phooey on the rest of the world? Or is he going to find another way to get his cholesterol down and have a healthy heart? And if he longs for social intercourse, he's going to deal with his bad garlic breath. Now, that's what Paul says should happen when believers withdraw.

47:58 He says, to the end that he may be ashamed. Change his ways. And we need to have the kind of godly, principled love that will work like that in this assembly so that flapping lips get isolated with a view to getting rid of the garlic.

The Necessity and Practice of Loving Admonition

48:22 Now, for you who like your garlic, and I love garlic, but you know what? I don't even take my garlic pills Sunday mornings. Even though it says no odor, once in a while, my wife will say, honey, I'm not so sure. So Sunday morning, I wouldn't impose a garlic smell on any of you at the door.

48:42 I figure one day out of seven, I can give up my healthy heart and try to get my cholesterol down.

48:49 You got the point? If we're serious, if we're serious, we must exercise discretion in the choice of our friends and our voluntary social associations. But now, I'm going to say another word. You know what some of our other voluntary social associations are?

49:09 Not living people with flesh and blood that sit next to us. The social associations of the kind of music we listen to.

49:22 All music is either expressive or impressive. And when you open up your soul to the association of musical expressions, particularly with lyrics,

49:35 that association is either righteous or unrighteous. It's either going to cultivate in you whatsoever things are pure, lovely, virtuous, praiseworthy, Philippians 4, 8, or that which moves in another direction. The movies you listen to,

50:00 the kind of books you read. I get sick when I look at some of the books written for today's Christian youth. And there's no sense of the dignity of life. And they use all this I'm gonna and I wanna W-A-N-N-A and G-U-N-N-A and dear young people, is that what you want to make impressions upon your mind and your soul so you talk like people out of the ghetto?

50:33 This tongue will be influenced by your voluntary social associations. Some of us are found in situations where they weren't voluntary social associations. I did laboring work in construction to put myself through college. People in the construction fields are notorious for their blue language.

51:02 And sometimes to this day, language that came in my ears and made an impression in the tablets of my soul will seek to rip out of my mouth 50 years after.

51:22 Don't think you're an exception. You're a fool if you do. Don't be a fool. Don't be deceived.

51:29 Evil companions corrupt good morals. And then we come seventh and finally.

51:37 Seventh and finally.

Cultivating a Climate of Graceful Admonition

51:40 Would you make progress in overcoming the sins of the tongue? Then you must, you must be more faithful in obeying the manifold imperatives concerning the giving and receiving of mutual rebuke, admonition, exhortation, and instruction concerning the use of our tongues. Now I know it's a Martin mouthful, but I don't know how else to reduce the biblical principles but to state them that way. You and I must be more faithful in obeying the manifold imperatives,

52:25 many and their commands, manifold, many, imperatives, their commands, and instructions, concerning the giving and the receiving of mutual rebuke, admonition, exhortation, and instruction with respect to the use of our tongues. Now follow me closely. The New Testament nowhere envisions your progress in sanctification in any area or mine in an atomistic, individualistic way. The picture of the New Testament is the New Testament and the New Testament is that everyone who is brought into Christ is brought into His church.

53:10 And that it is in the fellowship of the church that we make progress as individual believers.

53:20 Now this is taught everywhere in the New Testament, perhaps nowhere, more succinctly and yet comprehensively in one passage than in Ephesians chapter 4, where Paul envisions the growth of every individual believer in the context of the body of Christ with pastors and teachers given for the perfecting of the saints unto works of service. A situation in which every member of the body speaking to one another in love through that which every joint supplies makes increase of the body of itself in love growing up into the fullness of the stature of Christ.

Summary of Directives and Final Exhortation

54:02 That's the biblical vision of individual salvationists and sanctification in the context of the body of Christ. And therefore, we need within the body both to give and to receive admonition when we drift into speech that violates the norms that we have articulated from the word of God. And the apostle Paul in Romans 15, I've just given you a kind of a brief distillation of Ephesians 4, I commend it to you for your more careful study but in the interest of time I want you to look at Romans 15 in verse 14 where Paul envisions one of the cardinal marks of spiritual maturity

54:47 within any congregation that there is this free, loving exchange of mutual admonition and exhortation among the people of God. Romans 15 and verse 14 And I myself am persuaded of you, my brethren, that you yourselves are full of goodness. In other words, he is confident that they are a people in whom the Spirit of God is bringing a rich harvest of the fruit of love and of gentleness and of meekness. I'm quoting from Galatians 5.

55:27 The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith or faithfulness, meekness. And Paul says, I'm persuaded you are a people filled with the Spirit and the manifold frode of the Spirit causing you to be filled with goodness. Not meanness. Not I'm going to pick on you-ism.

55:52 He said, I'm persuaded you're full of goodness filled with all knowledge. You're not a bunch of neophytes running around and just chopping off heads because you've got a half a verse here and a half a verse there and you put them together in some distorted way. No, no. You have an accurate grasp upon the gospel and the implications of the gospel.

56:14 And what does he expect from people full of moral goodness by the Spirit, full of an integrated, sound biblical knowledge of the ways and word of God? What does he expect of them? Look at the text. I'm persuaded of you, my brethren, you are full of goodness filled with knowledge, able also to be filled with knowledge.

56:36 to admonish one another. This goodness and this knowledge flow into this ability to admonish one another. Now you know what that word nuthateo means? To admonish?

56:53 It means to point out error and fault and to call someone to account for it and to seek to help them to see the way out of that error. That's what this admonition is and he says when you've got a congregation full of the fruit of the Spirit that is described in a generic way as goodness, well instructed in the word of God, the manifestation of that among other things should be there is a free flow of admonition. People seeing in their brothers and sisters that which needs to be pointed out at fault and the one in whom it is pointed out

57:37 receiving the benefit of the admonition and in turn that one by God's grace being able to give admonition. This is not this is not I say an evidence of a mean-spirited unloving congregation. Some have the idea oh we need to just be one big tub full of love where I tolerate everything in you and you tolerate everything in me and where our unwritten code of interaction is you don't point out my faults I don't point out yours and we will all be happy making no progress in grace.

58:19 Brethren, so often we're blind to our own sins and the thing to which we're blind is very evident to another and Paul is saying if I'm filled with goodness and knowledge it will be manifested in loving gracious mutual admonition of one another and by means of this we make progress in grace. Many other passages let me just quote a few of them randomly almost Hebrews 3.13 exhort one another there the word is not admonished but encourage seek to motivate in a given direction exhort one another while it is called today lest any of you be heartened through the deceitfulness of sin

59:03 I may be deceived thinking my tongue is a tongue of healing in life when in reality it's cutting and it's hurting and it's wounding and we need to love one another to admonish one another Galatians 6.1 and 2 if any one of you be overtaken in the fault you that are spiritual restore such a one in the spirit of meekness considering yourself lest you also be tempted brother I've got all kinds of sins of the tongue I have to confess to God to my wife to my fellow elders to the people of God publicly brother I don't come to you as a sinless man but do you realize when you say thus and thus and thus what it appears like my brother is this

59:47 you're kidding no I'm not kidding never thought of that brother thank you thank you you see the Lord Jesus isn't going to step step down from heaven and do for us what he's told us to do for one another he has to do that restore such a one in the spirit of meekness several texts out of Proverbs Proverbs 9 and verse 8 pointing out in the same direction Proverbs 9 and verse 8 reprove not a scoffer lest he hate you reprove a wise man he will love you if we're full of knowledge and we are wise we're going to love to be reproved you come to me and help me to see my sin I say you're my friend don't bristle

60:32 and say who are you to talk to me you think answer him no no a wise man recognizes I don't see all my sins my brothers and sisters may see things I don't a wise man he'll love you he'll love you thank you brother I want my tongue to be more and more an instrument of life chapter 15 verses 31 and 32 similar emphasis the ear that hearkens to the reproof of life shall abide among the wise he that refuses correction despises his own soul but he that hearkens to reproof gets understanding and all through Proverbs that emphasis is there let me give you again a personal illustration it stuck with me we're talking about something that happened

61:17 50 years ago think of it five decades ago that's half a century I was alive then I was in college then that's right Brandon you find that hard to believe your eyes are hanging out on your cheeks there but that's the truth and I had developed a close relationship with a dear missionary who was home on furlough he was a missionary in Africa and we developed a good relationship his name was Dr. Thompson and he held to some views that were not exactly the party line in that particular Christian college and one day in chapel the president of the college said things that in my judgment sitting there were just a dig at my dear friend

62:00 Dr. Thompson so I went to his office sometime shortly thereafter and thinking I would be his friend and draw near to him I said doc I said they really gave it to you from the chapel platform this morning didn't they in other words I was seeking to strengthen my friendship by saying hey I'm your buddy and I want you to know I don't like that they gave it to you you know how he answered me 50 years ago and the words are right there as though he'd said them to me between Sunday school and church today he said Albert the chapel speaker will give account of himself to God I will give account of myself to God and you

62:44 will give account of yourself to God you talk about an 18 year old kid withering end of discussion what was he doing he was being a wise reprover and I thank God upon an obedient ear I wanted to please Christ but in my youthful enthusiasm I thought I was going to be his friend I was going to be his champion I was going to stand by him when he got lampooned but he had grace to know no good would come from discipleship discussing that issue and how many times

63:29 in 50 years has God brought that scene before my mind and my mouth has been sealed it's kept me from a ton of sin he loved me enough to reprove me oh dear people is there anybody in this congregation that this morning could look around and say that one that one this one loved me enough to reprove me to admonish me about my sin about my tongue is there anyone that can say I admonish so and so sitting here and they received me with such grace and gratitude they've made it easy for me to feel I could go again

64:14 that's the climate we must cultivate in this place oh but you say pastor there'll be someone who thinks he's the Lord's chief high executioner he'll go around admonishing everything that lives and breathes and walks we'll take care of him alright we have to have those once in a while and then we take him aside and say look my brother the Lord didn't appoint you as his chief high executioner and then we just gently tow him in but for the most part far more harm has come to this congregation by sinful silence among people full of goodness and full of knowledge who were silent than among the young wild Turks who went around chopping off heads

64:59 may God help us well I've given you these seven what I believe are biblical directives if we're serious about making progress in controlling the sins of the tongue engaging in earnest prayer that God will set a watch conscious effort to bridle our tongues engage in biblical responses to our union with Christ continue to hone our consciences seek to be filled with the spirit exercise discretion in the choice of our friends and be a more faithful in our mutual admonition. And I can hear an objection. Oh, that's a lot to do. Yeah, it

65:43 is. But remember, he that seems to be religious and bridles not his tongue, deceives his own heart, his religion is vain.

65:53 Someone says, but Pastor, am I expected to do that all at once? No. May I encourage you to take just one of those principles a week for the next seven weeks and pray them in. Say, Lord, this week, help me to concentrate on this principle.

66:08 On this weaponry, in dealing with my tongue. Pray it in. Work it out. Until these things become, as it were, second nature and part of the whole complex of your inner life.

66:21 And if you're not a Christian, you sit here this morning and say, man, oh man, if this is what it is to be a Christian, to be so persnickety about what you say and what you don't say, man, I'm not sure I want that. My friend, if you don't want that, you don't want Christ, you don't want heaven. Because Christ came to save us from our sins. Not in them. He died on the

66:40 cross to have a people. We'll see next week in Titus 2. Zealous for good works. Zealous to have a godly tongue. May God grant

66:53 that if this is not your passion, you'll see that your words will condemn you in the day of judgment and you need to go to the Christ who alone can forgive you and transform you and give you a heart that longs to have a holy tongue. Let's pray. Father, we're so thankful. That your word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our pathway.

67:20 We never cease to marvel at its richness. And we pray that you would help us in the light of the things we've contemplated today. To become a people more and more whose tongues are indeed instruments of life and grace and not instruments of death and of harm to others. Seal then your word to our hearts.

67:47 For your glory and for our good we pray. Amen.