Bridled Tongue: Constructing a Bridle, Part 2

Introduction: The Bridled Tongue as a Measure of True Religion

0:00 A bridled tongue, the measure of true religion.

0:08 James 1.26 has been the basic sphere of reference for our theme. If any among you seemeth or thinketh himself to be religious, while he bridleth not his tongue but deceiveth his heart, this man's religion is vain. And so there is reality in our professed religious experience to the extent that our tongues reflect the bridling influence of the Word of God and the Spirit of God.

0:46 In developing this theme, we have considered four specific paths down which a bridled tongue will not go. And then we began last week in the two concluding points, two concluding studies, to consider from the Scriptures how to construct a bridle for our tongues. For the text in James indicates that the bridling of the tongue is the responsibility of the individual. We do not ask the Lord to bridle our tongues.

1:17 We bridle our tongues by the directives the Lord has given and by the help that He gives in that spiritual discipline. And as we move forward, as we move into our study this morning, let me remind you, as we did at the beginning last week, that these directives are for those who are in union with Christ. We are not giving little rules for a bridled tongue for anyone. We are assuming that these directives fall upon the ears of those who are savingly joined to Christ and therefore long to please Christ.

1:54 And as the person who longs to please his Savior, who prays, let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer. It's the man who can say, my Redeemer, who will long to please his Lord and therefore will pray that his words be acceptable to him. And so we are speaking to those whom we assume are in union with Christ, who long to please Him, and who also possess the power of Christ for their assistance. The Apostle said, I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me.

2:39 God worketh in you, that is, in believers, both to will and to do of His good pleasure. And it is that thoroughly biblical perspective which takes this kind of instruction out of the realm of mere moralistic teaching and makes it thoroughly Christian instruction, precisely what Paul talked about in 2 Timothy 3 when he says the Word of God is profitable for reproof, correction, instruction in the righteous life, that the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto every good work. Well last week we looked at the obvious materials for this bridal. And we saw them to be consistent, specific prayer. We saw them to be conscious, watchfulness. Watchfulness regarding our speech and constant remembrance of the sober warnings of God relative to our speech. This morning we move to consider not the direct or the more obvious materials for the construction of this bridal, but the indirect or the more remote materials for a bridled tongue.

Indirect Material 1: Maintaining Good Spiritual Health

3:51 For whenever we are dealing with such spiritual disciplines as the one before us, we must think of the things that bear directly upon the issue and those which bear upon it indirectly, but bear upon it powerfully nonetheless. And so I would suggest to you three things this morning which comprise the indirect, or the more remote materials for the construction of a bridal for our tongues, taking this consistent, specific prayer as given in Psalm 141. I repeat. Joining with it conscious watchfulness, Psalm 31, and constant remembrance of the warnings of God, we will make very little progress in the bridling of our tongues unless we join with those three things, the three things that we're going to deal with this morning. The first one is this. There must be the maintenance of good spiritual health. Now, I'll look with you at several texts of Scripture and then explain this principle as it applies to the bridling of the tongue.

5:04 Turn, please, to Ephesians chapter 5, and I shall begin reading at verse 18.

5:13 Ephesians 5 and verse 18. And be not drunken with wine wherein is riot, but be filled with the Spirit. Or, as the marginal reading has it, be filled in Spirit. In the original, there is no article V.

5:35 Rendering it literally, you would have either be being filled in Spirit or with Spirit. So whether Paul is here giving a command that we be continually filled with the Holy Spirit, or whether he is saying be filled in your own Spirit with the reality of Christian joy and peace and these other graces of the Christian life, one thing is clear. That whatever it means to be filled in Spirit or filled with the Spirit as the general tenor of our Christian experience, or to use the figure I'm using here as an indicator of our general spiritual health, notice what the fruit of such a being filled in or with the Spirit is.

6:27 Be not drunk with wine, but be filled with the Spirit, the Spirit speaking, speaking.

6:36 The first thing said of this state of being filled in or with Spirit is that it will have a direct bearing upon the activity of the lips and of the tongue, speaking one to another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing, again an activity of the lips, making melody, which can have reference to the playing of instruments, much to the chagrin of some of my brethren who feel that instruments are persona non grata in the worship of God. It is a very valid rendering of the words from a philological, that is a linguistic standpoint, to say that Paul is actually referring here to the use of instruments, singing, speaking, making melody with your heart to the Lord, giving thanks, the activity of the lips, always for all things in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, giving thanks to God, even the Father, subjecting yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ. So, whatever this being filled in or with the Spirit is, it is a description of a healthy spiritual state. And Paul says that the result of the maintenance of that healthy spiritual state will be seen primarily in this context in the activities of the lips, speaking, singing.

8:03 Making melody, giving thanks, and then of course, if we are subjecting ourselves to one another in the fear of Christ, we will not be wounding one another with abusive or with the other kinds of speech, which we saw are flatly condemned by the word of God. Now, there is some question as to whether or not the words speaking one to another, you see the marginal reading down at the bottom is speaking to yourselves. And the Greek word can be translated, and in most cases would be speaking to yourselves. But in Ephesians 4.32, you have the same construction in which it obviously means one to another.

8:42 Be ye kind one to another, forgiving each other. There is the same word. So it is proper to render it as we have it in our ASV, speaking one to another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. And the principle that I want you to see in the text, and that is all I am going to say about it, is that you have both the root and the fruit of general spiritual health clearly described in this passage.

9:12 Being filled with the Spirit, if that is a reference to the Holy Spirit, or being filled in our own spirits with the joy and presence of God, the fruit will be in our speaking. Now see the similar emphasis of the parallel passage in Colossians. Colossians chapter 1. Colossians chapter 3.

The Fruit of Spiritual Health in Speech (Colossians 3)

9:38 Colossians chapter 3. Having established in the first part of the chapter that union with Christ means union with Him in His death, and also now in His resurrection life, the practical implications of this position are set before us in verse 5. Put to death therefore your members. Here is a command to mortification.

10:03 Verse 8. But do ye now also, put them all away, anger, wrath, malice, railings, shameful speaking out of your mouth. Here is the command to a thorough repentance of everything that is contrary to our being new men in union with Jesus Christ. But following the command to put to death and to put off, we have in verse 12 these words.

10:32 Put on therefore as God's elect, holy and beloved, a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, long-suffering, forbearing one another and forgiving each other. If any man have a complaint against any, even as the Lord forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to the which ye were also called in one body, and be ye thankful.

11:06 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts unto God. Do you see the same emphasis? Paul is not content that they face specific sins and put them off. That's necessary.

11:31 There are some people that wish the Bible was all written in terms of verse 12. Put on, put on, put on. They're against pointing out specific sins. There are some people who have some measure of stature in the Christian church who would greatly object to what I did in the previous four weeks.

11:49 To take a specific sin of the tongue and spend 40 minutes on a Lord's Day morning preaching on a specific sin they would say was the height of pastoral depravity.

12:02 But you see, you cannot put on until you put off. And you don't. Put off sins that you don't see in their ugliness in the sight of God.

12:15 I've had any number of you come to me thanking me that through this specific pointed dealing with sin, God has brought sin to life that you were indulging in but that you didn't know was there. Or if you knew it was there, there wasn't sufficient attitude of hatred toward it as ugly in the sight of God to put it off.

12:38 So we must start there. But we must not stop there. The same Paul who said put off, says now that's good. You've gotten right.

12:48 You've faced the issue. You've dealt with it. But you must go beyond the putting off. Now there must be the putting on.

12:57 And so he talks about these general graces that are in the field of compassion and love and forbearance. And he says coupled with that is the word of Christ dwelling in us richly. Giving expression to what? Admonishing one another.

13:15 So that the fruit of maintaining this general state of spiritual health will be seen in having healthy words with which we confront one another to our mutual profit. If we are clothed with love, then all abusive and corrupting speech will be put away. If we are clothed with forbearance and the spirit of forgiveness, all vindictive and retaliatory speech will be done away. So what's the cure?

13:48 The way we have a bridal tongue is to maintain general overall spiritual health. This is the great preventive medicine against the indulgence of these sins. Now let's look very briefly at two other texts. One in the Old Testament, Proverbs chapter 4.

Guarding the Heart as the Root of Speech (Proverbs & Luke)

14:11 And all we're doing in looking at these texts is seeking to establish the fact that the indirect materials for a bridal tongue are first of all the maintenance of good spiritual health in general. Proverbs 4, 23 and 24. Keep or guard thy heart above all that thou guardest, for out of it are the issues of life. Put away from thee a wayward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee.

14:50 What's the most effective means to make sure that a perverse, a wayward mouth and perverse lips will be put far away from me? It's by keeping the heart with all diligence. It's by maintaining a close watch over the state of the inner man in general that becomes then the means. It's by which I am kept from sins of the mouth and of the tongue in particular.

15:20 And you find the same emphasis in the New Testament in a passage such as Luke chapter 6. Let's look at it for just a moment. Luke chapter 6 and beginning with verse 43. For there is no good tree that bringeth forth corrupt fruit, nor again a corrupt tree that bringeth forth good fruit.

15:48 For each tree is known by its fruit. For a thorn's mendicant, do not gather figs, nor of a bramble bush gather they grapes. The good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good. And the evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth that which is evil.

16:11 So that's the general principle. But when our Lord applies it to a specific area in which this is most true, notice the area in which he applies it, for out of the abundance of the heart, his mouth speaketh. Now it's a general principle that a wicked man's life in its deeds is a reflection of his wicked nature. But our Lord is not content to leave it stand as a general principle.

16:37 He gives a specific application of that principle that the tree is known by the fruit and he says, out of the abundance of his heart the mouth speaketh. So what is the best way to have a bridal tongue? It's to keep the heart. In good frame.

The Principle of Holistic Spiritual Warfare

16:54 It's to have general overall spiritual health within so that the mouth will reflect that condition of soul and of heart before God. Now I'm hope, I shouldn't say I know, but I hope that many of you realize that in enunciating this principle, we're enunciating a principle vital to all areas of the Christian life. And the principle is this. No sin can be dealt with in isolation.

17:27 If you have problems with the sins of the tongue, you're never going to deal with those sins in isolation. You deal effectively with any particular sin only as you wage warfare on an all-out front against all sin in your life.

17:48 And that's a principle so vital to the Christian life that I want to pause for a few minutes this morning to understand the principle. You underscore it in red and put exclamation points over it and light it up with neon lights. The reason some of you are making so little progress with your tongue is that you're making so little progress generally. In fact, I think it's accurate to say that your progress or lack of progress with your besetting sins are the barometer of your general spiritual health.

18:25 Let me give it to you again. Your progress, your progress or lack of progress with your particular besetting sins are an accurate indicator of your general spiritual health. If you've not been filled with the Spirit, you're not being filled with the Spirit, the Word of Christ is not dwelling in you richly, what's the first evidence of it? You begin to fall before that particular sin which is your besetting sin.

18:52 And you don't treat that in isolation. You've got to deal with that which caused it. And that's true with regard...

19:00 to the tongue.

19:04 You see, it's like the person who has a chronic medical, physical problem. Maybe when he gets overtired and gets under strain, it shows itself by breaking out in hives. Well, when he has his hives, he knows that this is an indicator that his general physical condition is below par. Maybe it's someone who has problems with an ulcer.

19:28 Somebody else gets breathy. Well, when those symptoms come, they know, oh, wait a minute, I've not been eating right, I've not been getting enough rest, I've not been getting enough exercise. Whenever there is a general breakdown in general physical health, there is this specific outcropping of this specific malady. What is true in the realm of the body is true in the realm of the Spirit.

19:51 And so we must, as we think of this matter of a bridal tongue, recognize that if we would have bridal tongues, we must determine by the grace, the grace of God to maintain general spiritual health. Let me quote from Owen. And oh, I just determined again, after I got dipping into Volume 6 again, I've read many parts through three, four times, and I said I'm going to go back through the whole thing again. Such perceptive insights and helpful things in this matter.

20:23 Listen to Owen as he speaks of this very principle that I'm laying before you.

20:29 The great means to prevent the fruits and effects of sin, is the constant keeping of the soul in a universally holy frame. As this weakens the whole law of sin, so answerably all its properties and particularly the sin that we're wrestling with. It is this frame only that will enable us to say with the psalmist, my heart is fixed, oh God, my heart is fixed. Now here's the classic statement.

21:01 It is utterly impossible to keep the heart in a prevailing holy frame in any one duty unless it be so in and unto all and every duty.

21:17 Let me give it to you again. It's utterly impossible to keep the heart in a prevailing holy frame in any one duty, a bridal tongue, unless it be so in and unto all and every duty. If sin entanglements get hold in any one thing, they will put themselves upon the soul in everything. A constant even frame and temper in all duties, in all ways, is the only preservative for any one way.

21:51 Let not him who is neglective in public persuade himself that all will be clear and easy in private. What he's saying is, if you neglect the common public means of grace, attending to the word of God, the communion of the saints, praying with God's people, don't expect you're going to have great blessing in the private exercises of grace. Conversely, he says, if you're negligent in the private, you don't frequent the closet of prayer, you don't search the scriptures. He says, don't expect blessing in the public means of grace.

22:26 There is harmony and obedience. Break but one part and you interrupt the whole. Oh, may God inscribe upon our hearts this basic principle that if we would have bridal tongues, it must be at the price of every necessary discipline to maintain general spiritual health. But now there is a second indirect or more remote material.

Indirect Material 2: Maintaining Carefully Selected Friendships

22:54 It is what I'm calling the maintenance of carefully selected friendships.

23:01 The Bible and human experience clearly show and clearly teach that there is a contagion to moral attitudes and human behavior. Look at the statements of the scriptures. Proverbs 13 and verse 20 is a classic example. Proverbs 13, 20, walk with wise men and thou shalt be wise.

23:28 It doesn't mean that as your shoe leather touches the place where their shoe leather went, there's some kind of a process of osmosis through the ground and shoe leather. But what it means is in the company of wise men, there is this contagion of their wisdom. Walk with wise men and thou shalt be wise, but the reverse is true. But the companion of fools shall smart for it.

23:55 Walk with fools and you'll become a fool. And I remind you in Proverbs, fools here is not someone that's stupid intellectually. It's moral folly. It's a synonym for sinners.

24:05 Walk with sinners and thou shalt smart for it. The classic statement in the New Testament, 1 Corinthians 15 and verse 33, the apostle says, don't allow yourself to be deceived on this fundamental principle of human experience. Be not deceived, evil companionships corrupt good morals. Now, I say the Bible and human experience clearly teach that the Bible and human experience teach that there is a contagion to moral attitudes and to human behavior.

24:41 Now, the grace of God does not negate that purely human phenomenon. The grace of God with this as with everything else that is true to us as human beings does not negate this reality. It captures it and channels it for the benefit of God's purposes of grace.

25:03 So, it's not surprising to find in the New Testament command after command concerning marking those that are good examples and following them. Those types, the two paths, those who walk as a pattern of godliness. Now then, applying this to the matter of a bridal tongue, see how specific the word of God is and why I've said that the second more remote material for a bridal tongue is the maintenance of carefully selected friends. Look at Proverbs 20 and verse 19.

25:40 Taking that general principle of the contagion that is present in human relationships,

25:52 the writer to the Proverbs says in Proverbs 20 and verse 19, He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets, therefore,

26:05 company not with him that openeth wide his lips. Company not is the directive of God. Cut yourself off from a necessary association with those who do not have bridal tongues.

26:29 Now that's just as clear as the scripture that says thou shalt have no other gods before me. Thou shalt do no murder. Thou shalt not commit adultery. God says do not company with those who do not have a bridal tongue.

26:44 Those that are not open wide the lips. Those that lay the reins as it were upon the neck of their tongues and say go willy-nilly hithering on wherever you wish to go. He says cut yourself off from their company. That directive in Proverbs is expanded in the New Testament in 2 Thessalonians chapter 6 chapter 3 there is no chapter 6 2 Thessalonians chapter 3 verses 6 and 7 Now we command you brethren in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly and not after the tradition which they received of us. And then the disorderly brother is described for you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us for we behave not ourselves disorderly among you neither do we eat bread for naught. Verse 11 we hear that there are some that walk among you disorderly that work not at all but are busybodies they are meddlers in other people's matters.

27:53 And God says when you find a person who is committed to meddlesome speech withdraw yourself.

28:03 Why? Well several reasons as we'll see later but at this point we're concerned with this primary reason there is a contagion in that sin of meddlesome speech and if you're in the presence of one who's guilty of it it isn't long before you pick up that sin and you practice it without a twinge of conscience.

28:29 Now the positive side of this of course is a passage like Philippians 3 in verse 17 because selectivity and friendship not only has a negative but it has a positive.

28:42 Brethren be imitators together of me Philippians 3 17 and mark them that so walk even as ye have us for an example. If you're wrestling with the problem of an unbridled tongue mark out in the assembly those who in your eyes are in some measure a model of a bridled tongue and he says mark them imitate them let them become as far as is possible your more intimate associations that the contagion of their godly example may bless your own life and your own experience.

The Necessity and Benefits of Selective Friendships

29:23 Now this maintenance of carefully selected friendships can become tacky business. You might stand to offend someone you might stand to hurt someone's feelings. May I say it as bluntly as I know how would you rather disobey God than run the risk of offending one of his creatures?

29:48 And that's the choice that every Christian faces again and again and again. The person who's utterly indifferent to what people thinks about him is less than a human being something he's snapped. God made us social beings with a desire to be loved and to be loved and accepted and received. So a person who's just utterly indifferent to whether or not people love him and receive him and how he deals with people is something less than a true human being.

30:12 But that which is a virtue in itself can become a crippling vice when we're more concerned with what the individual will think of us than we are concerned about the God who has said withdraw from the brother or sister who walks disorderly company not with him who opens wide his lips so if you begin to sever the intimate nature of certain friendships and the person says why you tell them why. Say I'm sorry but I'm wicked enough that when I'm in your presence I become more wicked. Your loose tongue as it were causes me to have a looser tongue than I should have and to obey God I am no longer going to consider you an intimate friend. I love you in Christ I pray for you as my sister my brother but I cannot accompany with you if you continue in this sin. You say pastor you mean you believe God really expects us to do that? I mean exactly that.

31:14 Exactly that. Precisely that.

31:19 Is obeying God a matter of enough concern that you will walk in obedience to this directive? You see the benefit of this kind of selectivity works two ways. In your own life it puts you out of your of unnecessary temptation but thank God it can have a therapeutic effect upon the other. As you read later on in 2 Thessalonians it says withdraw but don't count him as an enemy but admonish him as a brother.

31:49 Look suppose there's someone that's got a terribly bad case of Beal I'll really descend to the come and Mr. Morey did it this morning so I will. And he finds that it works he's losing his friends and everywhere well if he likes people bad enough he's going to come around to thinking it worthwhile to go down and buy some light boy or dial or something else. Why?

32:13 Because as a social being he cannot stand being cut off from all his friends. It's worth it to him to take whatever steps are necessary to smell sweet enough to be tolerated in public.

32:26 Now that's what happens in the church. If there are those amongst us and there are some amongst us whose besetting sin are the sins of the tongue.

32:36 Others are sins or something else but sometimes have peculiar problems in this area. What's going to be one of the ways that they are helped? I'll tell you one of the ways. If they're truly saved they cannot stand to be cut off from intimate fellowship with the people of God.

32:51 If you're a child of God nothing's more painful to you than to be cut off from the intimate friendship with your brethren unless it be the clouding of the face of Christ. Those are the two greatest pains to a child of God. You find it in the Psalms again and again. David is pain that he's cut off from beholding the glory of God in his sanctuary and from going with the people of God on Holy Day to the place of worship.

33:18 Well you see what happens then? When an individual who's guilty of this sin has enough of his brothers and sisters saying to him or her look I'm sorry you're opening wide your lips and God says I cannot accompany with you I'm to withdraw it will be a means to bring this person to deal with the sin. Now is that cruel?

33:40 To have a brother or sister to deal with sin? I say is that cruel? That's love. That's not the world's idea of love but that's biblical love that aims at the restoration of the brother or the sister.

33:55 And I'm convinced there's some of you who are going to make little progress in the area of a bridal tongue until the rest of us begin to do what I'm talking about this morning. Some of you need that kind of radical treatment to begin to really make sense of it. to really make sense make strides with that tongue of yours.

34:15 May God help us as a church not to fail our brothers and sisters who need that kind of help.

34:23 And then some of you need to be more selective in the choice of your intimate friends. You're worldly in the way you choose your intimate friends. You see in the world people choose intimate friends on the basis of what I can derive what is convenient what is natural for me. Now you need to get saved in the area of how you choose your intimate friends.

34:50 A Christian whose purpose is to be holy to be like Christ will seek to cultivate intimate friendships with those who help him to be more like the Savior or those whom he can help to be more like the Savior without himself suffering in the process.

35:11 I find people if the price I have to pay to help them is declension in my own life I know God's not calling on me to do that. The first commandment is to love him with the whole heart and the second is the second. Love your neighbor as yourself. God never calls me to love my neighbor at the expense of crippling my love to him.

35:31 No, no.

35:33 And so if you find by this process of rationalization well I feel I can help so and so I know that when we're together we descend in our conversation on the phone or in person into gossipy meddlesome speech into abusive speech but I want to keep the friendship intimate to help my friend if you're being dragged into their sin you're no help to them and you're no help to yourself company not with them.

Indirect Material 3: Maintaining Open Rebuke and Exhortation

36:01 And then there is a third and I only have time to touch on it briefly a third remote material for the attaining of a bridled tongue and it's what I'm calling the maintenance of open rebuke and exhortation in our community life as a church. It cannot be doubted if you believe the Bible that rebuke and admonition are God-ordained means for our sanctification and our preservation in the way of holiness. All you need to do is get your concordance this afternoon look up the word rebuke and see all the times it's used. I'll just give you a couple references very quickly.

36:47 Proverbs chapter 9 and verse 8 I shouldn't say a couple several quickly. Proverbs chapter 9 Proverbs 9 8 Reprove not a scoffer lest he hate thee Reprove a wise man and he will love thee.

37:05 You see what you say when you say to me Pastor I wouldn't dare rebuke you or reprove you because and you give some reason what you're saying is that I'm a scoffer. The only one who hates godly reproof is a scoffer. If you hate it God calls you a scoffer. The wise person is the person who loves you for reproving him.

37:34 He's wise with heavenly wisdom which is the fear of God. He wants to please God. He wants to have a bridal tongue. And if one of the means to help construct the bridal is the rebukes of his brother he thanks God for the rebukes and for the brother who gives the rebuke.

37:51 Chapter 13 and verse 18 Poverty and shame shall be to him that refuses correction but he that regardeth reproof shall be honored. Chapter 15 31 and 32 The ear that hearkeneth to the reproof of life shall abide among the wise. He that refuses correction despises his own soul but he that hearkeneth to reproof getteth understanding. And perhaps the key text in Proverbs and I've skipped over a number of others I had here in my notes is Proverbs 6 and verse 23.

38:34 If you forget all the others here is the classic text. For the commandment is a lamp and the law is light and reproofs of instruction are the way of life. Now I hope most of you are well schooled enough in the biblical doctrine of the perseverance and preservation of the saints to know that when a God lays when God lays hold of a man and makes him his child he sets them in the way that leads unto life. He not only sets him there he will preserve his walk until he attains there.

39:10 But now what means does he use to keep him in the way of life? This text says that rebuke and reproof are a vital ingredient in that very way of life.

39:25 And then you have some very stern words about those who refuse reproof. Proverbs 10, 17, 12, 1 and 15, 10. And then the classic text in the New Testament Hebrews 3 and verse 12 exhort one another daily lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. Now follow closely.

39:48 Since the sins of the tongue are so often social sins that is they are committed in the presence of others these sins are much more susceptible to this kind of exhortation and reproof. Some of us have besetting sins that can be committed and indulged in in a non-social structure they are more difficult to be brought under the healing power of godly reproof and correction. But the sins of the tongue for the most part are committed in a social context and therefore I have a great privilege and responsibility to reprove to admonish to exhort my brothers and sisters and my sisters in this area. What cruelty it is to allow a brother or sister to be deceived by sin and not to reprove him and to rebuke him. The words of Proverbs 27 5 and 6 are apropos at this point. Proverbs 27 5 and 6 better is open rebuke than love that is hidden.

40:59 Faithful are the wounds of a friend but the kisses of an enemy are cruel. Prophuse you say you love me you say you love your brothers and sisters God says open rebuke is better than secret love. Prove your love by reproving them when they sin by rebuking them when they are guilty of trying to make your ears a garbage can for the latest swill and slop of somebody's gossip and meddlesome speech somebody's gossip say no no my brother my ears are not going to be garbage cans because what goes into the ears sinks down into the heart. I don't want that garbage in my heart. Thank God for my missionary friend who loved me enough to rebuke me. I gave the illustration a couple of weeks ago when I tried to get him to engage in meddlesome speech and he turned with piercing eyes and rebuked me. I've never forgotten it.

42:05 And that's been close to 20 years ago. Never forgotten it. And again and again God has brought back the healing virtue of that love wound that my dear brother was willing to inflict in Christ's name. The scripture says whom the father loves he chastens and reproves every son whom he receives.

42:26 Now follow closely. The father who never proves his love but by the rod something wrong with him.

42:34 That's why some people react negatively against the rod. They had parents whose only apparent expression of love was the rod. No, no. It's the father who is showing his love in a hundred ways who when he takes up the rod and says now son or daughter I am chastising you in love the child can understand that.

42:54 So in our dealings with one another we have many ways to confirm our love to one another other than rebuke and reproof. And if we're confirming our love to one another in these many ways then we should not be hypersensitive when the same person who's shown his love to us in many ways now firmly rebukes us and reproves us. So it's in the context of mutual love and a shared life in Jesus Christ confident of our love to one another in the bonds of Christ that there should be this climate of open rebuke and reproof because in so doing we become a means of grace one to another. Oh that we might be done with the spine of grace and the unprincipled attitudes which have turned many churches into sickening mutual admiration societies whose unwritten charter rule is thou shalt not expose me and I will not expose thee.

43:58 And together we shall sail along encased in our carnality to the dishonor of God and to the harm of our own souls. I have not so read the scriptures as to what the church should be. This book says the church is God's healing society. It is God's mending society.

44:20 It is the community of imperfect saints pressing on to greater conformity to Jesus Christ and the spirit works by means of the preached word. Yes! But he works by means of our mutual exhortation and reproof and rebuke. And if we become more faithful in this area I believe many of us will make progress in the area of a bridal tongue that we thought impossible simply because we were not using this material that God has put in the workshop to make bridals for tongues.

Call to Action: For Unbelievers and Believers

44:58 In closing let me emphasize to those of you here who've never been born of the spirit of God you have no ability to bridle that tongue in any true measure until the fountain out of which all that comes is cleansed. You can't touch your heart. Oh, you can exercise some restraint upon your lips and I hope you do. If you're going to go to the judgment without the covering of the blood of Christ go with as few sins as possible.

45:31 I do not despise external morality. Thank God for it. It keeps this world from becoming a veritable hell and it'll keep your hell from being a little worse in the world to come. But my friend that's a terrible option.

45:44 There's something far better. Make the tree good and the fruit good and cry to God that for Christ's sake he would have mercy upon you and give you a new heart. Cleanse the fountain that from that heart now touched by the love of God and the power of Christ there may flow out healing words words that glorify him. And to you who are the people of God let me ask you as we close this series are you working?

46:15 On bridal construction and I don't mean V-R-I-D-A-L I mean V-R-I-D-L-E I know some of you are working on bridal construction I'm talking about bridal construction. Are you working on it?

46:34 Have you been in the workshop this week? Specific prayer set a watch O Lord upon my lips keep the door of my mouth. Conscious watchfulness let every man be swift to hear slow to see speak parceling out your words like you'd parcel out nickels. Has there been a conscious remembrance of the warnings of God?

46:57 By thy words thou shalt be justified. By thy words thou shalt be condemned. Have you been in the workshop this week seeking to construct a bridal?

47:08 If so may God add to the raw materials. These three commodities we've touched on this morning the maintenance of general spiritual health so essential if we're to make progress in this area. And then by God's grace there must be the maintenance of this climate of open rebuke and reproof and the maintenance of careful selectivity in our intimate friends. Dear ones if we have unbridled tongues I believe before God my hands are clean as far as you ever being able to say I didn't know how to get one.

47:47 We've laid the directives of the word before you. Be not hearers of the word only deceiving your own selves. But be doers of the word. Apply to Jesus Christ for the grace and strength and power.

48:00 Trust him to enable you to have a bridled tongue.