Concluding Counsels: When We are the Offended

Introduction and Series Overview

0:03 The following sermon was delivered on Sunday morning, August 17, 2003, at Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey. Now may I ask you to follow as I read in your hearing two brief portions of the Word of God, passages that have become, I trust, very familiar to us in the course of the series of sermons that, God willing, will be completed with the preaching this morning and again this evening. Ephesians chapter 4, Ephesians chapter 4, verses 31 and 32.

0:44 Let all bitterness, and the word all assumed before each of the other nouns, let all bitterness, and all wrath, and all anger, and all clamor, and all railing, be put away from you. With all malice, that is, ill will, and be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, even as God also in Christ forgave you. And then Colossians chapter 3, verses 12 through 14. Colossians 3, 12. Put on, therefore, as God's elect. Holy and beloved, a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, long-suffering, forbearing one another, and forgiving each other.

1:50 If any man have a complaint against any, even as the Lord forgave you, so also do you. And above all these things, put on love, which is the bond of God. If any man have a complaint against any, even as the Lord forgave you, so also do you. And above all these things, put on love, which is the bond of God.

2:08 And above all these things, put on love, which is the bond of God. Now let's pray again that God will help us as we come to the study of his word.

2:16 Our Father, how we thank you for helping us to worship you this morning, for the privilege of singing of your mighty works, telling forth your gracious doings. Now as we come to hear you speak to us through the scriptures, we pray that our risen Lord Jesus is our great prophet, that speaking by and with the scriptures may stand among us, exercising his prophetic office, that we may see and hear beyond the human vessel, and that we may have heart dealings with him. O come to us, Lord Jesus, speak to us clearly, powerfully, persuasively, and give us grace to respond in faith and obedience to your voice. Amen.

3:15 Well, as I've already intimated, we come this Lord's Day to the final two sermons, sermons number 13 and 14, in a series of messages that I have entitled, Now Concerning Forgiveness. And in this series of studies, I've sought to address some very crucial aspects of the biblical doctrine of forgiveness, especially what I have designated as horizontal or relational forgiveness. That is the forgiveness which we as fellow sinners and saints must exercise one to another as the people of God. And because several weeks have passed since I preached the last message, and because of the changing complexion of the congregation during the summer months, I'm going to give an overview of the entire series. I will be sticking very closely to my notes, because each one of these condensed statements that was flowered out in preaching will scream at me, preach me again. And I must not do that, because I want to cover between 12 and 13 hours of exposition in a maximum of about 12 minutes of review. So I'm going to lose your eyes for a bit, but I hope I won't lose your ears as I seek to give this overview, helping visitors to know where we've been, hoping to whet your appetite.

4:43 To obtain the series of tapes, because I do believe I have been able to say some things that need desperately to be said from the scriptures, and then for any of the regular members who do not have perfect memories and perfect recall, perhaps you may get a crumb or two of help by this overview of the entire series. And I know some of you have been away on vacation, if you've missed one or the other, and so for all those reasons, I judge that it would be a good investment of the first, hopefully, 12 minutes, now please, you who love to catch me in inaccuracies, don't look at your watch and time me. I've got both a watch and a clock doing that, and I will try to respect what they tell me over the next 12 minutes.

5:29 I began the series by seeking to demonstrate the centrality of forgiveness in biblical revelation. That is, when we pick up our Bibles and ask the question, what's the Bible all about? We cannot turn to any section of this book without coming to the conviction that the divine way of forgiveness of sin is central to the material found in our Bibles. We noted that it is central in the character and disposition of God, central in the substance and proclamation of the gospel, and central in both the initial and ongoing experience of the true children of God.

6:14 And I summarize that initial study by making this statement. The God whose disposition is to forgive has procured and proclaimed in the gospel the way of forgiveness through Christ, and by means of that gospel embraced, He gathers men and women into local communities called churches who are both a forgiven and a forgiving church. We then proceeded to construct a biblical definition and description of what forgiveness is. We examined the seven major Hebrew and Greek words used to convey the reality of forgiveness. We then looked at those vivid word pictures by which God describes what happens when He forgives and what should happen when we forgive one another. And this was the work. This is the working description and definition that we came to.

7:17 Divine forgiveness is that gracious, loving act of a holy and just God by which He removes from the sinner the guilt and the liabilities of his sin, thereby clearing the way for a restored relationship between Himself and the sinner. Human forgiveness is a gracious, God-like act of one sinner to another sinner by which the offended party makes a commitment of His will not to remember the sin of the offending party, thereby clearing the way to a restored relationship between both parties. And then, having hammered out this biblical definition and description of forgiveness, we then moved in the next message to what was one of the most crucial issues in this entire series, we looked at a careful examination of Ephesians 4.32, noting this central fact that God's forgiveness of us in Christ is to be both the basis, the motive, and the pattern of our forgiving one another. We are to forgive one another even as, kathos, even as God in Christ forgave us. And that led us to the very crucial question,

8:43 is God's forgiveness of us conditional or unconditional? Not is His love unconditional, that's clear. Is His disposition to forgive unconditional, but is the conferral of God's forgiveness conditional or unconditional? And we saw that the unanimous testimony of Scripture is that God's forgiveness rooted in His unconditional love manifested in the sending of His love, and His Son presently filling His own heart as His disposition is never conferred unconditionally.

9:22 It is conferred upon repentance and faith. And therefore, all of this loose talk about horizontal or relational forgiveness being unconditional absolutely violates the divine paradigm of forgiveness. Then we proceeded to consider, what I called three practical and pastoral perspectives concerning mutual forgiveness, and I address such matters. No, before that, here I got away from my notes.

9:56 We then looked at what I called four common mistakes relative to the Christian duty and privilege of forgiveness, and then followed these three practical pastoral perspectives in which I tried to show the difference between biblical confession and forgiveness and the common practice. The common practice of apologizing, the difference between conferring forgiveness completely and without reserve, and the earning of trust and confidence that has been broken, taking up those issues with which the people of God often struggle. Then I preached two sermons on what is the central truth taught by our Lord Jesus on the subject of forgiveness, carefully expounding Matthew 6, 12, 14 and 15, Mark 11, 25, Luke 7, 8, and 9. In Matthew 6, 37 and Matthew 18, 21 to 35, the parable of the unjust servant, we saw this truth that is central in the teaching of our Lord, that the truly forgiven by God are also the truly forgiving of one another. Or to state it negatively, if there is no forgiveness extended to the members of the family, there is no forgiveness received from the Father. Following this, I sought to establish from the scriptures another vital aspect of the doctrine and practice of mutual forgiveness, and it was this,

11:19 that the offended party has both the right and the responsibility to assess the genuineness and sincerity of the professed repentance of the one who has sinned before extending forgiveness. And we examine Matthew 18, 15, Luke 17, 3 and 4, 2 Corinthians 2, 4 to 11. Then three Lord's days ago, I began what I call some concluding biblical counsel concerning mutual forgiveness. Jesus assumes we will, as long we are in this life, always be both the offender and the offended.

11:59 That's why he said, when you pray, say, forgive us our debts, we will be offenders, even as we forgive those who are indebted to us. We will be both forgiven, forgiving and needing forgiveness. Paul assumes that in these passages that I read in your hearing. He assumes that in the best of congregations, God's people will at one and the same time be found in the category of offender and offended.

12:28 The one who needs forgiveness and the one who ought to forgive. Therefore he says, forgiving one another. James assumes this. James says, confess your sins one to another.

12:40 In many things we all offend, and therefore it's vital that we understand how am I to respond when I am the offender? How am I to respond when I am the offended? And so I gave you in the last message three weeks ago, counsels for us when we are the offender. When we have sinned against one another.

Counsels for When We Are the Offender (Review)

13:05 Remembering that all sin is ultimately against God and we must seek and obtain God's promised forgiveness. My counsel to you and to my own heart was this. Pray for humility and a passion for likeness to Christ that will make us approachable, willing and eager to be shown our sin. What would happen in any family or congregation where everyone had the attitude of Psalm 141 verse 5?

13:34 Let the righteous smite me. It shall be a kindness. It shall be as oil upon my head. You see, the reluctance to go to a brother or sister who has offended us would be basically removed.

13:50 But by nature we are so self-justifying, defensive, touchy about seeing our sins, it makes it difficult for us to do what the Scripture says. But since you and since I will be in the category of the offenders till we are taken home to glory, we need to pray for humility. And for a passion to be like Christ that will make us earn the reputation for being blissfully and blessedly approachable, eager to be shown our sin. How in the world can you sincerely pray in your devotions in the morning, Oh God, make me more holy.

14:32 And then be prickly when your wife shows you where you are not holy. Which is the real you? Will the real you stand up? The one who is mouthing the truth?

14:43 Will the prayers to be a more holy man in the closet in the morning? Or the one who is prickly to be told by his wife where he has been offensive? May God help us, dear people, that if we really want to be holy, if we really have a passion to be like Christ, anyone who can show us our offense is our friend. He is an oil spiller.

15:08 It shall be as oil upon my head. Second counsel. We must, as the offenders, pray for a tender conscience with respect to our sins against one another and a willingness to initiate the action that leads to repentance and forgiveness. That is Matthew 5, 23 and 4.

15:27 You are coming to worship. Conscience is sensitized. You remember your brother has just complained against you. What did Jesus say?

15:35 Leave your gift. Go, go, go, go, go. Be willing to take the initiative and say, I was trying to pray this morning. Get on the phone.

15:44 And I remember the way I spoke to you as I left the prayer meeting the other night. My dear brother, my dear sister, I spoke to you in a way that was not right. Will you forgive me? Will you forgive me?

15:56 That's what I'm talking about. That sensitive conscience that doesn't lay the onus on the one who is offended, but we take the responsibility upon ourselves that when we pray, Search me, O God, and know me. Try me and know my thoughts. And God answers that.

16:12 And brings to remembrance something we have reason to believe would give a brother or sister grounds to have something against us. Again, dear people, what's the big deal to get on the phone and say, I sinned, will you forgive me? What's the big deal? Stinking, rotten, devilish pride.

16:34 That's the big deal. And so we need to cry to God for humility, for the tender conscience, and then we need to pray for the grace to experience genuine repentance and the wisdom to express that repentance in such a way to those whom we offended that it makes it easy for them to say, I freely forgive you. That's what we need to pray. And we saw from the Scriptures where God gives counsel about the very words that we bring in a context of repentance.

Counsel 1: Tolerate Nothing Less Than a God-like Disposition of Forgiveness

17:07 Well, I've done it in 13, I think 13, maybe 14 minutes. That brings us now to this morning. And this evening. Councils for us when we are the offended.

17:18 That is, when we have been sinned against. Alright, you see the category. We've considered the counsels for us when we are the offender. We have sinned.

17:30 Now what counsel does the Word of God give us when we are the offended? When we have been the ones sinned against. With God willing, we are going to take up the first word of counsel this morning and then second and third this evening. So what is my first word of counsel?

17:51 It is this. Tolerate nothing less in your heart than the God-like disposition of forgiveness filling your heart by the ministry of the Holy Spirit. When you are offended, regardless of when and if you are able to speak to the offender, you and I must tolerate, not for a moment, tolerate nothing less than the God-like disposition of forgiveness filling our hearts by the ministry of the Holy Spirit. That brings us to ask this question and answer it. What is God's disposition to those who sin against Him? He does not confer His forgiveness rooted in the work of Christ till the sinner repents and believes.

18:50 But is His disposition to forgive withheld until the repentance and faith of the sinner? No. The Scripture clearly teaches and here I give you just four texts that we have already looked at in one connection or another. That God's disposition regardless of where the sinner stands in relationship to even desiring that forgiveness, He has a disposition of forgiveness.

19:22 Psalm 86 and verse 5. For you, Lord, are good and ready to forgive and abundant in lovingkindness unto all them that call upon you. The sinner or the saint calling upon God for forgiveness does not provoke him to be a God of lovingkindness and to be a good and ready to forgive God. He is such a God.

19:57 And knowing that He is we call upon Him in the confidence that His forgiveness will be freely conferred because He doesn't have to scurry around and find it somewhere outside of Himself and stuff it in His heart because the sinner is crying. Thou, Lord, art good and ready to forgive. Ready to forgive. That's why I said we must tolerate nothing less than the God-like disposition of forgiveness.

20:28 Remember our Lord's prayer from the cross? Luke 23 and verse 34 that we studied in some detail when correcting one of the mistaken notions, namely unconditional forgiveness. But what was our Lord's prayer when He had just been impaled upon the cross? Luke 23 and verse 34.

20:52 What does our Lord say? Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. He is not speaking a word of absolution. He spoke that to several as recorded in the Gospel.

21:04 Son, thy sins be forgiven thee. Woman, neither do I condemn thee. Go, sin no more. No, here He is praying, Father, the disposition of my heart is not one of malediction and cursing and invective.

21:18 Father, the disposition of my heart is one of extending forgiveness even to those who have stripped me, put me here in total nakedness, beaten me, bruised me, buffeted me, spat upon me, mocked me, jeered me. Father, my heart is toward them in a disposition of forgiveness. And, O Father, if You would so work to bring them to own their sin and to repent of their sin and to believe in the grounds of forgiveness that I am securing by my death, my forgiveness towards them and upon them is the desire of my heart. Not, Father, consume them in Your righteous anger, but, Father, forgive them. It is not surprising then that when a man a few hours before had been joining his buddy in mocking him and saying, if you're the Christ, come on down, take care of yourself, take care of us. For it says they both cast the same in his teeth. But Luke records that there upon the cross this man simply utters the words, Jesus, remember me when You come in Your kingdom.

22:31 And what comes out of the Lord's mouth? Today. Today, You will be with me in paradise. The Lord didn't have to say, oh, Father, help me now.

22:43 This guy's been mocking me, jeering me. My spirit has been agitated with prayers of imprecation. Now, Father, help me. He's asking for mercy.

22:53 I've got to change my disposition. No, no. The disposition of Christ toward the one who mocked Him and jeered Him while dying was one of forgiveness. And the moment the man owned his need, the word of pardon and absolution was freely, spontaneously, may I say it reverently, divinely, reflexively given.

23:20 Today, You'll be with me in paradise. That's the God-like disposition of forgiveness that must fill our hearts by the ministry of the Spirit at all times, no matter who has offended us, no matter how grievously they've offended us, and no matter whether there's the slightest indication that they're prepared to own their offense. You and I must tolerate nothing less than this God-like disposition of forgiveness to those who sin against us. The disposition of Jesus, you remember, was beautifully echoed and mirrored in the first martyr Stephen, Acts 7 and verse 60.

24:01 Stephen has been taken out, judged, worthy of stoning. And what does he do? In verse 69 of Acts 7, And they stoned Stephen, calling upon the Lord, and saying, Lord Jesus, receive my spirit. That spirit that he asked Jesus to take into his presence, what characterized that spirit?

24:28 That non-material part of the very being of Stephen that could not be put to death by stones. Lord Jesus, receive my spirit. What was the disposition of that spirit that was about to be received into the presence of Jesus? Look at verse 60.

24:46 And he kneeled down and cried with a loud voice, Lord, lay not this sin to their charge. What an amazing thing. Lay not this sin to their charge. What was the disposition of Stephen's spirit?

25:05 It was one of this God-like disposition of forgiveness. If Stephen had seen in the eye of one of those men, even the look of questioning whether or not what he had done was right, and any expression of turning from that sin and acknowledging that the Christ whom Stephen preached was all he claimed to be, no one would have died with greater joy seeing a stoning enemy become a believer. Why? Stephen's spirit was like the Savior into whose presence he was just about to enter.

25:44 But he had it here on earth before he entered. And then, of course, I remind you, and I won't turn back there because I don't trust myself to just allude to it, the beautiful, beautiful example we saw with David and Nathan. David, the scoundrel, lusting after Bathsheba, whether he seduced her, whether she was a willing concern, we don't know. All we know is the Bible just gives the blunt, sordid detail, not the detail, the blunt, sordid facts.

26:16 Commits adultery, then murdered by proxy, and then goes at least a period of close to a year in a backslidden state. One can only imagine what that year must have been like. The prophet comes, tells his parable. David is stirred up, and the prophet says, you are the man.

26:34 And in 2 Samuel 12 and verse 13, with artless simplicity, the writer records David's sin. I have sinned. I have sinned. I have sinned.

26:46 And the prophet says, the Lord has put away your sin. The prophet didn't say, now, David, wait a minute. God has no word for me yet. God's got to adjust His disposition towards you.

26:59 He's been ready to zap you. You've been such a scoundrel. You've been such a faithless, disgrace as His child. Give God a little chance to sort out His emotions towards you and His disposition towards you.

27:14 So the prophet said, the moment he heard the words, I have sinned, the Lord has put away your sin. Why? God's forgiveness, I use the analogy, was pressing against his heart like water against a dam. And the moment the words were spoken, I've sinned, the dam burst, and the free, gracious forgiveness of God came cascading down upon David's head and into his heart.

27:43 That's God's disposition, my friend. That's God's disposition to some of you sitting here this morning. You're His children. But you are miserably, wretchedly, inexcusably backslidden as we heard last week from Pastor Mike.

27:56 What's God's disposition towards you? He yearns to forgive you. He's the God of Hosea who says, return, return, take with you words. I will love them freely.

28:10 And He says, now you'll be like me. You'll be like me. I'm your daddy. I'm your father.

28:16 I want the family likeness to be seen in you. I'm the God who maintains a disposition of forgiveness even to those who don't seek my forgiveness, don't want my forgiveness, don't own where they need my forgiveness. And my dear brothers and sisters, that is the thing to which God calls you and me. That's why He can say in Luke chapter 6, love your enemies, pray for them, pray for them that despitefully use you, do good to those that persecute you.

28:55 Then He goes on to say, be like your father, for he is kind and merciful to the evil and the unthankful. It's tall order. Yeah, it is. That's why I said, tolerate nothing less than the God-like disposition of forgiveness filling your heart by the ministry of the Holy Spirit.

29:18 By the ministry of the Holy Spirit. Are you persuaded? Are you persuaded from these texts? You've got no choice.

29:27 This is what you and I must, must desire and seek whenever we are the offended. Are you convinced of it? If not, no sense in me going on telling you how you can have it. If you're sitting there saying, well, I'm not so sure I want it.

29:49 But if everything in you says, oh God, that's beyond me, it's above me, outside of what I can do. But Lord, I see it's what I must do. How? Then I've got good news for you.

30:04 You don't just sit back and pray, oh God, give me a God-like disposition of forgiveness no matter what anyone does to me. Don't just pray. The Bible calls you to do some putting off and some putting on. That's one of the motifs in the epistles of Paul.

How to Cultivate a God-like Disposition: Repudiate and Mortify Contrary Attitudes

30:18 You put off certain sins. You put on certain graces. Or in the language of Philippians 2, we must work out our own salvation with fear and trembling, for God is at work in us, too willing to work. Let me give you three directions if you and I are to experience nothing less than this God-like disposition of forgiveness filling our hearts by the ministry of the Holy Spirit.

30:45 Number one, we must constantly repudiate and mortify every and all attitudes and states of heart contrary to the disposition of forgiveness. I'll give it to you again. We must constantly, it's not something you do once for all, repudiate, that means refuse to welcome it as our buddy, and then mortify, that is, by the Spirit, put it to death. And what is it that we are to repudiate and mortify constantly?

31:19 Every, leave no exception, and all attitudes and states of heart contrary to this disposition of forgiveness. Where do we learn that? Let's look at several passages. Romans chapter 12.

31:34 Romans chapter 12. Here's disposition and attitude contrary to the spirit of forgiveness. Number one, verse 18. If it be possible, Romans 12, 18, as much as in you lieth, be at peace with all men.

31:50 But not everybody's going to let you be at peace with them. So what do you do when some are not? And they make themselves your enemy. They make themselves your enemy.

32:00 Verse 19. Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but give place unto the wrath of God. For it is written, Vengeance belongs unto me. I will recompense, says the Lord.

32:20 Someone has made himself my enemy, has wronged me, has harmed me, could be proven in a court of law. What is to be my response? Wrongdoing will receive just retribution. That's a law of God's moral universe.

32:36 And God is committed to that law. He said where vengeance, that is punishment for wrongdoing, is due, I will give it, but I will give it. It's my business, not yours. So avenge not yourself.

32:49 Now where does venging oneself begin? Not with the hand that strikes another. Not with the mouth that slices another with words. Not with the turned shoulder that ostracizes by body language.

33:07 But it starts here in the heart. I've got a right to get you. If I only get you with my thoughts, I've got a right to have my thoughts shoot arrows at you. And if I can only get you with my words, I can cut you to your face or behind your back, but I'm going to get you.

33:31 That's the spirit of vengeance. I have a right to get you. For what you did to me. That's the spirit of vengeance.

33:39 And God says, that is none of your job. It's mine. Stop usurping my throne. Vengeance is mine.

33:51 And I will repay. Leave me to do my job. You do yours. You want to know if you're doing it?

34:03 See if you're able to do what the next verse says. If your enemy hunger, feed him. Instead of slicing him up with your words, slice a piece of meat and put it in his belly. If your enemy hunger, feed him.

34:19 If he's thirsty, give him to drink. In doing so, you will heap coals of fire upon his head. It's not clear what that imagery means. The commentators debate it.

34:33 Do not be overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. Dear people, would you, by God's grace, when you are the offended, respond to that offense in a way that is pleasing to God? Then tolerate nothing less than the God-like disposition of forgiveness, filling your heart by the ministry of the Spirit. And how can you do that?

35:00 It begins by constantly repudiating and mortifying every and all attitudes and states of heart contrary to the disposition of forgiveness. Do what I've had to do even in recent days. Bring before your minds the person who has grievously, wickedly wronged you. Put them right in front of you.

35:27 And can you say, if they were there, I'd put their lights out? If they were there, I'd chew them up with words? Or can you say, if they were there, forgiveness beats at the door of my heart and nothing would thrill me more than to open those doors and let the forgiveness spill down upon their head without reservation? And until you can do that, you've got hard work to be done.

36:04 You must tolerate at no time any disposition and attitude and state of heart contrary to the disposition of forgiveness. Romans 12, 19. Look at Proverbs 24, 29. Another clear text pointing us in the same direction.

36:23 Proverbs 24. And verse 29. Say not, I will do so to him as he has done to me. I will render to the man according to his work.

36:40 That's tit for tat-ism. That's vengeance. He got me, I'll get him. She got me, I'll get her.

36:46 They got me, I'll get them. Say not, I will do so as he has done to me. I'll render to the man according to his works. And then the passage read in your hearing.

36:58 It has struck me as I've meditated long upon these passages in this series. Ephesians 4, 31. Notice the injunction to be forgiving comes at the end of a string of exhortations. And there is a logic in that order.

37:17 Verse 31. Let all bitterness and all wrath and all anger and clamor. That would be the attitudes breaking out into actions and words and railing again abusive speech. Let the dispositions that produce it and the actions they produce be put away from you with all malice.

37:43 Every strand and impulse of ill will that would harm another. That's maliciousness. Let it all be put away. And now the positive.

37:55 Be kind one to another. Tender hearted. Forgiving. You will never be a forgiving man or woman.

38:03 Boy or girl. Unless you are determined to constantly repudiate and mortify such things as bitterness, wrath, anger. The idea that I have a right to enter into clamorous intercourse. Verbal intercourse.

38:22 Railing abusive speech. I have a right to nurse a spirit of malice. No. Let it all.

38:28 Let it all. Let it all be put away from you. God's alls have significance. And until you and I say they will have significance in this man's heart.

How to Cultivate a God-like Disposition: Appropriate Consistent Graces

38:46 You will never make progress in being a godlike offended man or woman. Boy or girl. But then secondly we must not only constantly repudiate and mortify every and all attitudes and states of heart contrary to the disposition of forgiveness. But this is the put on dimension.

39:08 We must constantly appropriate every grace consistent with the disposition of forgiveness. We must constantly appropriate every grace consistent with a disposition of forgiveness. I hope you are still open to Ephesians 4. Having said let these things be put away.

39:31 Now verse 32 is the putting on. This is the appropriating of those graces that are productive of the spirit of forgiveness. You put out the poison. You take in the healthy.

39:44 And be kind one to another. Tender hearted forgiving. The only one who has a pattern of readiness and then engagement in free gracious forgiveness. The forgiveness of his brothers and sisters is the one who is kind and tender hearted.

40:07 It's an act of unkindness to be unwilling to forgive. It's hard heartedness that says no. That person's crossed the line. I will not.

40:21 I cannot. I shall not forgive. That's a hard heart. So we must constantly appropriate the graces consistent with that disposition.

40:31 Kindness. God is spoken of as a kind God. First Peter 2 and verse 3. Tender heartedness.

40:41 You know what it literally means etymologically? Healthy bowels. Healthy viscera. With the concept that the seat of the emotions is not the heart but the viscera.

40:53 The bowels. The entrails. It says have healthy entrails. Down in the depths of your being where you feel irritation, anger, malice, ill will.

41:11 In that very center of your being. Let there be tenderness. Healthy bowels. No rotten stinking bacteria in the spiritual gut poisoning the whole system.

41:33 But healthy bowels. Tender hearted. That's Colossians 3. And there the emphasis you see as you compare the passages is stronger on this second point of counsel.

41:45 Appropriating every grace consistent with the disposition of forgiveness. In Ephesians 4 Paul mentions just two graces. Kindness and tender heartedness. But look in Colossians 3.12.

41:56 Put on therefore. Put on therefore. Dress yourself with. Appropriate in the virtue of your union with Christ as God's elect holy and beloved.

42:07 A heart of compassion. Kindness. Lowliness. Meekness.

42:15 Long suffering. Forbearing one another. And notice the crowning activity. And forgiving one another.

42:25 You won't be a forgiving man or woman without putting on constantly a heart of compassion. Kindness. Lowliness. Meekness.

42:35 Long suffering. Forbearance. And then in verse 14. And above all things put on love which is the bond of perfectness.

42:43 These are all manifestations of the fruit of the Spirit which is love. Love. God like love. Spirit wrought love.

42:56 You see how in the world do I put them on? Where do I get them? The scripture tells us of our Lord Jesus in John 1.14.

43:06 We beheld His glory. Glory as of the only begotten of the Father. Full of what? Full of grace and truth.

43:14 All of these graces in their fullness are in Christ. And wonder of wonders we've been united to Christ. And in union with Christ we can by faith appropriate to ourselves those graces so utterly fallen to us by nature by temperament and in terms of our remaining sin. But then thirdly if we're going to keep this counsel tolerating nothing less than God-like disposition of forgiveness filling our hearts by the ministry of the Spirit constant repudiation and mortification constant appropriation.

How to Cultivate a God-like Disposition: Remember God's Forgiveness

43:56 Thirdly there must be constant remembrance of the wonder and the magnitude of our forgiveness from God. There must be a constant remembrance constantly remind ourselves of the wonder and the magnitude of our forgiveness from God. Remember Ephesians 4.32 we are to forgive one another even as God.

44:29 God infinite eternal unchangeable in His being holiness wisdom power goodness and truth this God has in Christ forgiven us. The man was forgiven his millions but he grabbed his fellow servant by the throat and said give me my nickels and dimes or off to prison you go. Remember what Jesus said just as they took him and delivered him to the tormentors so shall my heavenly Father do to you if you forgive not every man his brother where from and what's the teaching of that parable that you can be forgiven and lose your forgiveness of course not the teaching is if you are not ready to forgive your fellow men their nickels and dimes you've never known the wonder and sweetness and the heart melting heart breaking reality of being forgiven your millions that's the teaching that's the teaching my friend is broken and enamored and infatuated and swallowed up in the wonder of almighty God who could have cast you into hell pouring out

45:57 his wrath upon his son and because of what Christ did freely forgiving you your millions so when a brother or sister comes what should they find in you the disposition of one who can't forget what they have been canceled you come and asking me to forgive you a nickel or a dime no big deal of course I can forgive your nickel and your dime almighty God has forgiven my millions so what will keep us in that frame just keep reminding yourself I've been forgiven my millions I've been forgiven my millions by the Lord and all I'm asked to do is to extend a little debt canceling of nickels and dimes to a fellow creature and sinner the incongruity of a man saying yeah I'm forgiven I'm a Christian Jesus has taken my sins away you make sure you give me your nickel and your dime or I'll grab you by the throat I'll put you in the prison of alienation this is what husbands and wives are like I'll put you on the cold shoulder for a week

47:26 my attitude will be cold the bed will be cold the words will be cold what are you doing wife what are you doing husband what you're saying is I've got you by the throat grovel give me my nickels and dimes how in the world how in the world can you justify saying daily and either you've never known the sweetness of forgiveness and you are self deceived or it's been a long time since you've baptized your spirit in a long look at Gethsemane and looked at your savior travailing to sweat drops of blood as he faces the abyss of abandonment my savior with all his holy courage that could look down his enemies that were determined by fear looked them straight in the eye which of you convinces me of sin now he trembles like a leaf staggers on the ground like a drunken man sweat drops bursting capillaries in his brow oh my father oh my father if it be possible

48:56 let this cup pass cowardice no he faced the reality of what it would cost him to make the world a place where he could pray He was happy to be with his beloved father he was content with what he had to make his sick world better than his life the abyss pierced hands, pierced feet the darkened heavens the mysterious cry and every time I think of it this way it overwhelms me since we are told that no sound is ever utterly destroyed and lost but goes out into the ether that the words I speak now are out there somewhere and will be there as long as the universe remains somewhere God could call back from his universe those mysterious words my God, my God why have you abandoned me

50:22 that we might have our millions forgiven my friends, that's why and you say you're saved by one who went into that and you've got your fellow believer, your husband, your wife your kids, your neighbor, somebody else by the throne give me my nickels and my dimes no, no my friend, you can't do it you can't do it you can't do it you can't do it no matter what anyone else has done to you what anyone has done to you pales into insignificance when we think of what my sins did to him what my sins my sins did to him and he's freely forgiven me you soak your soul in those realities and you'll almost beg somebody to come and ask you to forgive him so you'll have the exquisite joy of saying it's my joy it's my privilege I'm a forgiven sinner I freely forgive you because I am a forgiven man a forgiven woman now those are my three words of counsel or my word of counsel with the three dimensions of how if I am to tolerate nothing less than the godlike disposition of forgiveness filling my heart by the ministry of the spirit and I see it

Application: Self-Examination for the Offended Believer

51:52 I must, how do I do it constant repudiation and mortification constant appropriation constant remembrance now let me come to application this is just an exposition in the remaining moments I want to apply I want to ask you my brothers and sisters in Christ some very simple questions I think they're simple I've labored to make them simple first one is this when you are sinned against does that offense find you tolerating you nothing less than a godlike disposition of forgiveness filling your heart by the ministry of the spirit in other words whether it's your wife whom you feel has really offended you by what she said or did or didn't do a fellow believer walked by you you thought they ignored you whatever it is when that offense registers in your moral consciousness does it register in the mind and heart of a man who is sinning against you a man or a woman who instinctively says however I react to that offense I cannot I must not I shall not tolerate any disposition taking root in my heart contrary

53:21 to the spirit of forgiveness is that what offenses find when they strike you is that a non-negotiable with you is it now you answer not verbally but in the theater of your conscience in the presence of almighty God can you say that offenses find you with a well-furnished gospel-soaked forgiving heart if you think it does don't be surprised if God puts you to the test little did I know that in preparing to preach these things today God would throw me and my wife into one of the most severe tests of this very principle that we have known in our 70 years of sojourn if I were hypocrite enough to stand up here and preach this without having reckoned with the issue it would not surprise me if God would strike me dumb or dead I'm asking you when offenses register in your moral consciousness what kind of heart do those offenses find second question if and when the offender comes to you

54:48 owning his sin and seeking forgiveness you will not be able to forgive does the offender find in you a disposition ready and quick to forgive to forgive freely and graciously as God in Christ forgives you in other words when someone comes to you saying you know I really believe I sinned against you in doing thus and thus do they find you quick ready to forgive do they find you having nothing to do but extend the forgiveness do they come to someone whose heart is so furnished with the spirit of forgiveness all they need to do is tap it with the words of acknowledgement of sin and seeking forgiveness boom your heart like God opens up and says oh my brother my sister I forgive you are you one that they have to sneak up on and work on for a while and try to persuade you that maybe the offense wasn't quite as deliberate as you assumed does anyone have to go to work on you or is the Holy Spirit constantly at work on you creating in you this displeasure this disposition of forgiveness another question when you go to fulfill the command of Matthew 18 if your brother sinned against you go tell him his fault between you and him alone when you go to fulfill the command and we'll be looking at those in another light in the second council tonight God willing

56:16 Luke 17 3 if your brother sinned against you rebuke him if he repents forgive him when you go to fulfill those injunctions do you go with a disposition longing to forgive? flooding your heart ready to burst on the head of the offender with unmistakable spontaneity and joy or do you go almost hoping you can't get them to own your sin because then you think you've got a right to nurse your grudge and your alienation well they wouldn't own their sin I rebuked them but they wouldn't perhaps or do you go earnestly longing that you'll gain your brother gain your sister that your loving wise judiciously framed rebuke or showing them their sin will result in a wonderful expression and conferral of gospel forgiveness remember Jesus expects this to be the prevailing disposition of heart so much so remember Luke 17 4 and Matthew 18 21 and 22 remember what they say and if he turned to you seven times in the day saying I repent you shall forgive me you shall forgive me you shall forgive me you shall forgive me you shall forgive me you shall forgive me you shall forgive me you shall forgive me you shall forgive him Lord how oft shall my brother sin against thee and I forgive him till seven times isn't that what you said earlier Lord said no seventy times seven what's he saying the disposition of forgiveness has no markers

57:45 it has no scorecard it's like God's disposition it is a bottomless shoreless ocean of divine disposition to forgive and God says I'm going to put that ocean in you you don't keep scorecards you don't keep scorecards you don't keep scorecards see that's the point the Lord does not want us to get caught up in a numbers game does he mean literally what he's saying is no matter how many times I am sinned against when someone comes acknowledging the sin they are to find me without exception responding with a disposition of readiness to forgive this is hard stuff I didn't write it I didn't write it I am trying to preach it faithfully let me ask a further question I am trying to preach it faithfully I am trying to preach it faithfully sitting here this morning is there anyone anyone on God's earth concerning whom for any offense whatever you have said I can never forgive him not in the light of what he did to me she did to me I may be speaking to someone who has a deep dark secret going back to your early years where there was wicked shameful horrific emotional sexual

59:13 abuse you've carried with you for years this disposition I don't care what that person ever did ever says I can and I will not ever forgive them anyone here are you sitting there right now saying I was afraid the pastor might ask that question my friend if you were afraid you should be thankful because that disposition can only poison your soul and do far more harm to you than the abuse itself you've got to give yourself no rest until you can say by the grace of God if God would be pleased to bring that person to repentance it would be my joy to smother them with the assurance of my forgiveness I'm not telling you you unconditionally forgive them regardless of what they do to you whether they own the sin that tyrannical doctrine is laid on people's consciences all over the country it's not biblical for an adult woman to go to a father who abused her sexually as a child who has no sense of grief or remorse and say I unconditionally forgive you for what

Application: The Call to Unbelievers

60:41 but to be able to look him straight in the eye and say dad though left to myself I'd want to see you dead but almighty God has made a new creature of me and I have been forgiven my millions and I long for you to forgive me and I long for you to know the forgiveness of your millions and my disposition to you is but a fake reflection of the disposition of God who is good and ready to forgive and dad I want to assure you you own your sin you will find me quick and ready for Christ's sake to forgive you is there someone about whom you've said I can never I will not I cannot it's cruel of God to ask me ever to forgive them I ask you who has Golgotha and Gethsemane neat and tidy or were they cruel I close with answering what I'm sure is an objection that some may have some of you are not Christians you're sitting there saying if that is what it means to be a Christian forget it how in the world can anybody live like that that is so contrary to everything I am and all that I know of myself how in the world can I ever respond

62:09 to wrongdoings that way I couldn't live that way my friend if you've come to that conviction that may be the first step to your salvation to recognize that the life to which a believer is called he can't live until he is a believer until you're in Christ the graces of forgiveness and kindness and tender hearted that flow into us from our union with him without me Jesus said you can do nothing and my friend you're locked into the prison house of your bitterness and your unforgiveness and your vindictiveness and your vengeful revengeful malicious spirit isn't it a horrible prison house you're living in aren't you weary of it wouldn't you like to wake up some morning and say the God of heaven has wiped away all my sins and there's nothing any creature can do to me to let me stew in the bitterness and rancor of unforgiveness wouldn't you like that kind of freedom that's what God offers in Christ when he said come to me all you that labor and are heavy laden few things are a greater burden than a disposition of unforgiveness what a horrible thing yes you've been wronged really wrong bad wrong

63:37 yes I know but you labor under that disposition I will not forgive I cannot forgive how could I ever forgive it's wrong for God to expect me to forgive was it right for God to heap the punishment of our sins upon Christ was it right for him to be shrouded in darkness plunged into the agony of Gethsemane and all of us and no it was all of grace and that grace can envelop you and take you in and scour your heart of all of that vengeful vindictive non-forgiving spirit and overwhelmed with the wonder of God's forgiveness in Christ God can set you free send you out of this place and you'll understand Jesus' words when he said come to me all you that labor and are heavy laden I will give you rest take my yoke upon you and learn of me for I'm meek and lowly of heart and you shall find rest to your soul it's a wonderful thing to be under Jesus' yoke it's a wonderful thing oh my unconverted friend who's listened to this and said that's an impossible life yes it is out of Christ but in Christ you can say with Paul I can do all things through him who strengthens me oh that you might go to Christ I stand here tonight

Conclusion and Prayer

65:05 as someone who has had to go many times to my wife to my children to many of you here from this pulpit oh how many times I've been the offender and say will you forgive me and what a blessed thing to have your words to have my wife's words my children's words of assurance dad honey sweetheart my brother pastor I forgive you but you know there's something even more sweet than being forgiven and that's having the privilege of forgiving how many times have you forgiven me how many times have some of you called me pastor I was thinking such and such and I'm afraid I might have offended you and I said I don't know what in the world you're talking about but you think you offended me you're forgiven it's wonderful to be free to feel that there's nobody on the face of God's earth with whom you've got to get even with whom you've got to settle scores it's wonderful do you know that do you know that in your own heart if not oh my dear brother sister have dealings with God today come back tonight a free man a free woman and in the giddiness of your joy you might not even be able to concentrate on the next two words of counsel but that's alright if that's what happens nothing will make me happier if you're so blessed to the gills that all you can think about is I'm free I'm free I'm free I'm free I'm free you can always get the tape

66:33 of tonight's message but don't let the message this morning be lost upon your heart have dealings with God let's pray oh our father there are times when you enable us to taste as it were the very anteroom of heaven we thank you we praise you that there is forgiveness with you not that you may be trifled with but that you may be feared with a loving tender fear and we confess we're so unlike you we confess that within us there is the disposition of throat grabbing of demanding our nickels and our dimes from one another God forgive our shames and the sinful and basic and unmerciful unforgiveness and help us by your grace that we'll have dealings with you today that coming out of our consideration of these truths there will be changed lives changed homes changed marriages oh father don't let your word fall to the ground but may it bear abundant fruit to the praise and to the honor of the Lord Jesus amen