Marriage, After the Fall (a)

Reading of Genesis 3:1-21 and Prayer for Illumination

0:03 Now, may I encourage you to turn with me in your Bibles to the book of Genesis and chapter 3, Genesis chapter 3, and I shall read in your hearing the first 21 verses, Genesis chapter 3, beginning at verse 1. Now, the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, has God said you shall not eat of any tree of the garden? And the woman said unto the serpent, Of the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat, but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said you shall not eat. Neither shall you eat of it, neither shall you touch it, lest you die. And the serpent said unto the woman, You shall not surely die, for God knows that in the day you eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and you shall be as God, knowing good and evil. And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired,

1:31 to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat. And she gave also unto her husband with her, and he did eat. And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they twisted fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.

1:56 And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day. And the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.

2:12 And the Lord God called unto the man, and said unto him, Where are you? And he said, I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself. And he said, Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree whereof I command?

2:34 Have I commanded you that you should not eat? And the man said, The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that you have done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.

2:57 And the Lord God said unto the serpent, Because you have done this, cursed are you above all things. And upon every beast of the field, upon your belly you shall go, and thus shall you eat all the days of your life. And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed. He shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.

3:26 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply your pain and your conception. In pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be to your husband, and he shall rule over you. And unto Adam he said, Because you have hearkened unto the voice of your wife, and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, saying, You shall not eat of it.

3:52 Cursed is the ground for your sake. In toil shall you eat of it all the days of your life. Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to you, and you shall eat the herb of the field, and in the sweat of your face shall you eat bread, till you return unto the ground. For out of it you were taken, for dust you are, and unto dust shall you return.

4:18 And the man called his wife's name Eve, because she was the mother of all living. And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife coats of skins and clothed them. Now let us again pause and ask God's help by the Holy Spirit. That we might understand his word.

4:41 Holy Father, we acknowledge that our minds are shrouded in darkness, unless by the Holy Spirit you penetrate that darkness. And we therefore plead with the Psalmist, open our eyes that we may behold wondrous things out of your law. Come by the Holy Spirit and speak to us through the Scriptures, we pray in Jesus' name. Amen.

Review of the Series: In Praise and Defense of Marriage, Motherhood, and Homemaking

5:11 We come this morning to the fourth in a series of studies which I have entitled In Praise and Defense of Marriage, Motherhood, and Homemaking. And since each message builds upon the issues established from the Scriptures in the previous ones, I urge any who were not here for the previous messages or any one of those messages to obtain the tape, and listen to them, that you might see the structure of the entire series in a more whole and comprehensive way. However, I'm going to attempt in 15 minutes to condense the core issues that we've covered in more than three previous hours of exposition and application. And that means I'll stick very, very closely to my manuscript that I might not re-preach what has already been preached, but looking out on the congregation and seeing a number of visitors whom I know were not present for the previous expositions, I trust that the rest of you will not find this tedious. I hope that the review will help those who've been here for the previous messages to ask yourself, have I really grasped the heart of the issues?

6:36 Could I sit down with someone and walk them through with an open Bible these fundamental issues? And I trust if you're not able to do that, this review will be helpful in bringing you closer to an ability to do that very thing. Now, I began the series by addressing the question, why address the subject of marriage, motherhood, and home-making? And I answered in two ways.

7:05 I said this subject needs to be addressed, number one, because the goal of the Gospel, rooted in the purpose of the death of Christ, demands it. And at that point, we parked in Titus chapter 2, and demonstrated from that passage that the specific issues of marriage, motherhood, and home-making are directly related to the goal of the Gospel as rooted in the purpose of the death of Christ. And then my second reason for addressing the subject, I stated this way, because the call to radical commitment to God, issuing in a growing non-conformity to the world in thought and in practice, demands it. And there, our basic text was Romans 12, verses 1 and 2. I then proceeded to set forth two important qualifications, again, rooted in the teaching of Holy Scripture. Whenever one preaches on marriage, motherhood, and home-making, it is necessary to remind the listeners of these two qualifications.

8:21 Number one, that there is legitimacy, dignity, and great usefulness for women in many areas of service outside the sphere of marriage, motherhood, and home-making. And I gave you five specimen examples among, I believe I can accurately say, among dozens set forth, in the Bible. And the second qualification I gave you was this. Some women may deliberately choose or be providentially consigned to a life of singleness and thereby render greater service to Christ and to His Kingdom.

9:03 And our texts were Matthew 9, 22, and 1 Corinthians 7, 25-40. Now, with these issues in place, I then stated, that if we are to think as we ought concerning this matter, we must bring it into the grid of the biblical doctrines of creation, fall, and redemption. The structure of what the Bible teaches on any issue is the structure of creation, fall, and redemption. What did God intend when He brought the thing into being in the first place?

9:41 What has happened to that thing as a result of man's rebellion against God? And what does God purpose to do with that thing in His restorative and redemptive grace through Jesus Christ the Lord? We then went to this issue of creation, looking at Genesis chapters 1 and 2. I called the creation account in Genesis 1, verses 26-30, the panoramic view, as the six days of creation are set before us, we have this overview of the creation of man and woman in this panoramic scene of Genesis chapter 1.

10:25 I called the creation account that focuses on God planting the Garden of Eden and the details of the creation of the man and then the woman, the zoom lens view of the creation of the man and the woman. And I underscored that as we come to these passages, we must never think of them as contradictory, but complementary. We must never hold the truths revealed in chapter 1 in such a way as to dilute, to blur or negate the truths taught in chapter 2. Likewise, we must never hold the truths taught in the zoom lens account of chapter 2 in such a way as to dilute or negate the truths taught in chapter 2. dilute, to blur, or to negate the principles taught in chapter 1. Then we looked at chapter 1 and we saw in that passage three very simple realities. God created man in his own image. Secondly, God created man in two distinct genders, male and female.

11:34 Thirdly, God conferred upon these equal but distinct image bearers five fundamental equalities of privilege and responsibility. Then as we looked at select passages in Genesis chapter 2, we saw five things with respect to the creation of the man and of the woman. Number one, the man, the male, was created first out of the dust of the ground. Genesis 2, 7. The man was immediately placed in his basic sphere of stewardship and assigned his fundamental task. Verse 8 and verse 15. He was placed by God in the garden in order to keep it.

12:23 Thirdly, we saw that the man is incomplete without a creature who answers to him, one who is a fitting and suitable counterpart. God declares man's incompleteness and his intention to do something about it. Genesis 2, 18. And then God makes Adam feel his incompleteness in verses 19 and 20.

12:50 Fourth thing we see in those passages is the woman is then created out of the man in order to be a helper to the man. Verses 18b, verses 21 to 22. And fifthly and finally we saw that God brings the woman to the man who receives her with rapturous delight. At the end of chapter 2, we see Adam receiving the woman whom God has made and brought to him and immediately he recognizes that she is his counterpart and his equal. A divinely designed and divinely provided helper for him.

13:32 This is now born. He is the bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. And then he recognizes that he is her definer. And he names her woman. He identifies her place as helper to him.

13:48 And then in the last message we drew out three basic implications from the creation account from the editorial comment of Moses in verses 24 and 25. I'm sorry, in verse 25. Verse 24 and verse 25, words which our Lord Jesus says in Matthew 19 are the very utterances of God himself. And what did we see? This is what we saw.

14:18 It is God himself who conceived and established the covenantal union of a man and a woman for life. What we call marriage, that covenantal union of one man with one woman for life. God himself. God himself conceived and established this relationship.

14:38 Secondly, it is only within the bounds of this covenantal union that a man and a woman are meant to experience sexual intimacy. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, cleave to his wife, take the whole woman in order to be her protector, her provider, her guide and embarker. that context alone the two shall be one flesh. And any woman who gives herself to a man unwilling to make a covenantal commitment to her violates the very essence of her sexuality. And any man who takes a woman's body without taking her, he violates the very essence of his God intended sexuality. Thirdly, it is God who designed and created the woman for her distinct and wonderful role in fulfilling both the procreative and dominion mandate, Genesis 1, as the companion and helper to the man and not a competitor with the man. It is God who designed her that she might fulfill those mandates.

16:01 A procreation and dominion, not as a competitor with the man, but as helper to the man. Now this creation account ends with this idyllic picture of Genesis 2.25, and I got through my review in 15 minutes. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

The Transition from Idyllic Creation to the Fall

16:34 I had to chuckle. I had to chuckle when I read this past week Matthew Henry's comment on this passage. They had no sin in their consciences, and therefore no shame on their cheeks, though they had no clothes on their backs. No sin in the conscience, no shame on the cheek, no clothes on the back.

16:57 And God has chosen to paint the most wonderful strokes of this idyllic, idyllic bliss in these words. Here they are, they've come from the hand of God. The man who was incomplete without a helper answering to his need, now embracing his evil. And in that embrace, God concludes this marvelous, pristine glory of idyllic bliss with these words. Here is the man and the woman in total nakedness.

17:36 and utter shamelessness. That there was something about this being totally exposed to God, totally exposed to one another, without a twinge of shame, because shame is the fruit of sin. And there was no sin, there was no reason to have any barrier between themselves and their God, or between each other. However, the narrative goes on in chapter 3 with these words, Now the serpent.

18:18 From the idyllic state of 225, we are introduced in chapter 3 with these words, Now the serpent. How long had Adam and Eve known the unspoiled bliss of Eden? The unstained wonder of a marriage in which there was no sin, hence no guilt, hence no shame, no aversion to God, to one another. How long? I don't know.

18:50 The Bible's not interested in answering our questions rooted in idle curiosity. Was it a day? A week? A month? I don't know.

19:00 The Bible nowhere tells us. The Bible is concerned with describing things as they are. And God is saying, look, you must know where you came from. Holy Bible, book divine, precious treasure thou art mine, mine to tell me whence I came, Genesis 1 and 2, mine to teach me what I am, Genesis chapter 3.

19:29 Because we are not now what we once were in our first parents, Adam and Eve. And God is saying, I'm going to teach you not only from whence you have come, but what you are.

19:43 And having told us what we are, I'm sorry, whence we've come, God is now going to tell us what we are now, the serpent. And then we have this tragic account of the fall of man. When we read Genesis chapter 2, verses 22 to 25, we are forced to ask the question, what has happened? What has happened?

20:09 That this beautiful and idyllic relationship created by God in the pristine innocence of Eden has become such a scarred battlefield. A battlefield strewn with the wreckage of torn and shattered dreams, with men and women staggering across that battlefield with the open wounds of abuse, exploitation and bitterness, while others have retreated from the field of marriage, poisoned with skepticism, cynicism, regarding the very institution.

20:50 How do we go from what was to what is? And I begin to answer by saying the only place to find out is in the Bible. Because the only person who was there has spoken to us in this book. Apart from the two parties involved, only one other person was there and he's told us. And it's absolutely crucial that we be persuaded that it is here in the Scriptures alone that we can answer that question with any degree of certainty. How do we move from Genesis 2.25 and that beautiful description of the first marriage to the hellishness that marks so much of marital experience in the world? And I want to underscore the crucial nature of going to the Bible alone by using a parable.

The Crucial Nature of Biblical Authority: The Parable of the Ruined Mansion

21:47 I want you to imagine with me, here's a father who has a good, open-faced, verbally fluid relationship with his son. There's a family secret that he's been waiting for his son to know until he came to years. His son is now 18 years of age. He's a college freshman.

22:08 And his father tells him, son, we're going to take a trip to a remote place today. And I'm going to take you to a place, a plot of land that has been in the family lineage for generations. And you're going to see something that is not very pleasant when we arrive at that plot of land. Now before we go, I want to show you what it once looked like. And then he takes out these very treasured photographs and shows him that plot of land. And on it was a beautiful baronial-type mansion of a home, exquisite in all of its beauty. And details. He points out the various factors that made up that beautiful dwelling place and the garden surrounding it. He said, now son, that's what it once looked like. Now

22:58 when we get there and what we see with our eyes is going to be light years away from what once was. And once you see the disparity between what once was and what now is, you are inevitably going to be pressed with the question, dad, how did it get from that to this? And son, the answer has been written up by one of your forebears who was there. And we have kept it locked up in a safe deposit box at the local bank. And when we come back, now that you will have, or as then you will have felt something of the undeniable pressure of the question, dad, how did it get from that to this? And son, the answer has been written up by one of your forebears who was there. And we have kept it locked up in a safe deposit box and you will read in your great-grandfather's handwriting, he was the only one who was there and he's left a detailed chronicle of how it got from what it once was, as you see it in the picture, to what it now is, as you will see with your eyes. And so they make their trip. And sure enough, the son is absolutely surprised. He says, now son, that's what

24:15 it's going to be like. He says, now son, that's what it's going to be like. He says, now son, that's what it's going to be like. He says, now son, that's what it's going to be like.

24:15 And he's shattered as he sees this once beautiful baronial-type mansion all in ruin and in rubble and what were once beautiful gardens overgrown with nettles and thorns and just a mess. And he says, dad, ha! He says, son, I told you. We'll go back to the local bank and we'll get the safe deposit box and we'll get the record of your great-grandfather.

24:44 And on the way home, he says, you know, dad, I appreciate it. I appreciate it. I appreciate the fact you're going to take it. But listen, next Monday I go into my psych class and I wonder if I can ask my professors. And he says, son, your professors weren't there.

24:58 Oh, yeah, dad, but they're brilliant people. And I mean, they're able. Son, your professors weren't there. They don't have a clue how it got from what it once was to now what it is. Well, dad, how about next Friday night? We're having a gathering at one of the social gatherings at college. And why don't I lay the thing out before my buddies? I'll show them the pictures if you let me do that of what it once was. And then I'll describe what it now is. And maybe we can, son, son, what do your buddies know? They weren't there when it happened. You see my parable? When we take seriously what the Bible gives us of the picture of the original marriage in all of its beauty and glory, and now we look with our own eyes and see what the institution is. And we see what the institution is. And we see what the institution is. And

25:49 we see what the institution of marriage is. Some of you, what your own marriage is. You have to ask the question, how did we get from here to here? And the safe deposit box is this book. And the God who was there has told us. And if you're so stinking arrogant and proud and opinionated that you won't listen to the God who was there, it's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right.

26:22 It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right.

26:22 It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right.

26:23 It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right.

26:24 It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right.

26:25 It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right.

26:26 It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right.

26:27 It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right.

26:32 going to the Bible. You got the pressure of my parable. I hope you do. You wonder what happens when preachers sit at their desk for hours. Sometimes their minds do strange things.

Immediate Internal Consequences of Sin: Shattering of Marital Oneness (Shame)

26:43 All right. How did we get from where it was to where it is? Well, what I want to do this morning and then again this evening in tying it in with a communion meditation, I want us to look at Genesis chapter 3 and focus our attention on one issue, the immediate internal consequences of sin in relationship to the marriage institution. In other words, I'm not going to go through giving a detailed exposition of the process by which the devil tempted Eve and Eve succumbed and Adam then succumbs to Eve's suggestion. I want us to look at this passage, with one question before us. What were the immediate internal consequences of sin in relationship to the marriage relationship? Tonight we're going to look at the subsequent declarations of God concerning the fruit of sin as it touches marriage, motherhood, and homemaking. But this morning, we're only concerned to look at the passage and say, what happened to the beautiful garden? What happened to the baronial, beautiful structure

28:04 instinctively, immediately, when the man and the woman sinned? Now, I want us, in time permitting, to look at at least three, possibly a fourth thing. Number one, there was a shattering disruption of the marital oneness previously manifested in their unashamedness. That's the number one thing.

28:31 There was a shattering disruption of the marital oneness, previously manifested, in their unashamed nakedness before God and one another. I underscore again, the creation account ends with these words, verse 25 of chapter 2. They were both naked. The man and his woman.

28:58 The man and his woman. The man and his woman. wife, and were not ashamed. Utterly open and vulnerable to one another and to their God. As images of God in covenant commitment to each other, beholding in each other the divine image, in perfect communion with God, nothing had transpired to rouse in the man, to raise in the man or the woman a sense of guilt.

29:28 But to feel no shame in a perfect state is perfectly right. There was no occasion to feel shame. Everything was in harmony, the man with the woman, the woman with the man, and the man and the woman with their God, each of them embracing his and her God-assigned identity. The woman seeing in the man and being utterly comfortable with what she saw. This is the one.

29:59 I am the one for whom I have been made. I am the helper answering to him. I have been made for him that in relationship to him, as woman, as Isha, we will together fulfill the mandate to replenish the earth, to be fruitful, and to multiply. And the man sees in Eve the one whom he is to receive as the gift of God, to be her provider.

30:29 I am protector and guide. But what's the first consequence of their disobedience? Look at verse 7. Verse 6 tells us what they did.

30:40 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, a delight to the eyes, desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her, and he did eat. There's the simple record of their blatant disobedience against God. And the eyes of them both were opened, and what's the first thing the Spirit of God identifies? And they knew that they were naked.

31:11 And knowing that, what did they do? And they twisted, probably not sewed, but plaited fig leaves together and made themselves a covering for their loins.

31:26 Those are strange words. But that's what the Spirit of God tells us was the reflexive reaction of the guilty conscience of Adam and Eve. Immediately there was this sense of their nakedness and the inappropriateness of their nakedness in their now sinful state. And where once they could relate to one another with nothing in between.

31:56 Total openness vulnerability. Total, comfortable acceptance of each other in the presence of God. No sooner do they sin, but there's a sense of shame. And with shame always comes an instinctive withdrawal.

32:15 Let me prove this. Some of you guys, you've allowed one of those advertising blurbs that you should never have looked at. Pornography comes from Kmart these days.

32:32 And you're looking at something in your room that you know. You're looking at something in your room that you know. You're looking at something in your room that you know. You shouldn't be.

32:36 And dad comes through the door and you're caught in your sin. What's the first thing you do? You run up to dad and say, hey dad, good to see you. No, no.

32:45 You draw back. You try to hide the thing that causes your sense of shame. And you draw back from the one in whose presence you're ashamed. Isn't that true?

32:56 That's bound up in the very substance of shame. So when it says that they were ashamed, they knew they were naked. And in their shame, they plait fig leaves together for a covering. What is this telling us about the marital relationship?

33:15 That previously manifested unashamed nakedness before God and one another undergoes a shattering disruption.

33:30 And there is some sense of drawing back from one another. And the sense of need to clothe themselves. I don't understand all the, all the mystery of it. But I can read my Bible.

33:43 And I know what my Bible says. And it's telling you. And it's telling me. From that moment onward, when a man and a woman join together in the covenantal commitment of marriage, they have the liability of this effect of sin.

Immediate Internal Consequences of Sin: Shattering of Spiritual Oneness with God (Hiding)

34:04 This internal consequence of sin that has caused a shattering, a shattering disruption of that original marital oneness previously manifested in their unashamed nakedness before God and before one another. Sad. Sad. But then secondly, there was a shattering disruption in the spiritual oneness.

34:35 A shattering disruption in the spiritual oneness with God. Previously manifested in their unashamed nakedness before God. In their unreserved delight in communion and communication with God. And that's the next thing that comes before us in the narrative.

34:55 When we read in Genesis chapter 1 that he created man in his own image, in the image of God, created he him, male and female, created he them, verse 27, then verse 28, God blessed them. God said to them, be fruitful, be multiplied, multiply, replenish the earth. What's the sin? What's the sin?

35:15 What's the setting? God makes them in his image with the capacity to have delightful, open-faced communion and communication with himself. And when God is in their presence in some special way, blessing them, communicating to them and with them, they are perfectly at home in the presence and within the sound of God's voice. Nothing gives them greater delight when we read in chapter 2 that God makes the man out of the dust of the ground.

35:45 And he puts the man into the garden. He gives him his directives, what he is to do. And there is no indication that Adam is at all uncomfortable with those seasons of God's special nearness and those communications of God's mind by means of God's word. I say, in their original integrity, the man and the woman, in their marital relationship, they had this unreserved delight in communion.

36:12 They had this unreserved delight in communion. They had this unreserved delight in communion. There was a union and communication with God. For you see, God never intended marriage to be a bilateral relationship.

36:24 It's a trilateral relationship. God made the man and the woman in his own image, in his own likeness. With the capacity to communicate with him, with the moral uprightness and integrity to make them at home in the presence of a holy God. And so, God never established marriage as simply a relationship between a man and a woman.

36:45 and a woman devoid of relationship with himself. The man and the woman had the idyllic bliss of chapter 2, verses 24 and 25 because of their relationship to God. What they knew in their communion and communication with God lay at the foundation of what they knew in their communion and communication with one another. But when sin enters, what happens?

37:16 Look at verse 8. And they, Adam and Eve, the man and the woman, heard the voice of the Lord walking in the garden in the cool of the day. And the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord among the trees of the garden. To me, it's one of the saddest verses in all of the Bible.

37:47 And the commentators suggest that there may have been some pattern already established in God's relationship with Adam and Eve before the fall, when at the end of a day's labor, God would come in some kind of heightened manifestation of his presence, perhaps even a pre-incarnate manifestation of the Lord Jesus. I don't know. I can't dogmatize. But you get the sense that this was not the first time that God had done that.

38:18 And it's not the first time that God has done that. It's the first time that God has done that. It's the first time that God has done that. It's the first time that God has done that.

38:18 It's the first time that God has done that. God came to them in this special way. After the labor of the day, in the cool of the evening, and they hear the voice of God, if it's true, if it's true, that this was not the first time God came to them in this way, what do you think their previous response had been when they heard the first whisperings of the voice of God in the garden in the cool of the day? Adam would have grabbed Eve's hand and said, sweetheart, it's God's time to come in special communion with us. Let's go out to meet him. Now they hear the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day. The man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord. Do you feel the pathos of that? I say reverently, what did God feel? What do you feel as a parent?

39:25 When your child's face is against you. When instead of hearing the front door click and you're coming home from work, dads, and having your kids run and almost tackle you and knock you over, you find they split and go out the back door. What's that do to you as a parent?

39:45 Think what this meant to God. Think what this meant to God. He speaks in some way, intimates Adam and Eve of coming near. And they run. And the voice of God, and the voice of God, and the voice of God, and the voice of God, and the voice of God, and the voice of God, and the text says, from the presence of God. And what's that do to the marriage? Listen carefully now. The text says that when they hide themselves from the presence of the Lord, it is among the trees of the garden. Follow me. The more each of them buried themselves in the trees, they were not only putting distance between themselves and God, but distance between each other. It's one. It's one thing to have fig leaves between you. Now you have branches and clumps of leaves. Every step they took away from God, they took away from one another. And that's

40:51 why marriages become such a living hell. Because two sinners running from God cannot know the blessed intimacy that God intends should be known when both partners are in right relationship to Him, when they love the voice of God, and they love the presence of God. So why you young people wonder why your parents are such dicklers about seeking to hone your conscience that you never marry outside of someone being united to Christ. This is why they don't want you hiding among trees. They want you to know the blessedness of the kind of marital intimacy that can only be known when both partners are in right relationship. No partners love the voice of God and love the presence of God. This is what happened.

Immediate Internal Consequences of Sin: Shattering of Emotional and Psychological Oneness (Blame)

41:56 No sooner do they sin, but there is what I've called the shattering disruption in their marital intimacy previously manifested in their mutual delight in hearing the voice of God and in fellowshipping with God. But then there was a third result. There was not only a marriage. It was a beautiful marriage. This is why. But then I say to you, there only this shattering of the previously manifested unashamed nakedness, a shattering of the marital oneness, a shattering of this intimacy, but there was a shattering disruption of what I'm calling the emotional and psychological oneness with each other previously manifested in their original, delightful, grateful reception of one another. What was that marriage like in the beginning? Well, we looked at it two weeks ago in the evening. When the woman is brought to the man, verse 22b of chapter 2, the man said, and you'll

43:06 remember that allowing my imagination to go way out of bounds, I said, could it be that Adam bellared out a hallelujah and did a backflip? There is. There. There is tremendous emotion in this statement.

43:21 This is now bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh. She should be called woman. She was taken out of man. Though the record emphasizes Adam's emotional delight in receiving the wife, the woman, his Isha, there is every indication that Eve had the same response.

43:44 Though the text does not explicitly describe it, we have no reason. We have no reason to believe that Eve felt anything other than that sense of delight. This is what I've been made for. The God who made me now brings me to my counterpart, the one whose helper I am to be.

44:03 Now what happens when sin enters? I say there was a shattering disruption of the emotional and psychological oneness with each other previously manifested in that original, delightful, and grateful reception of one another. And it focuses again upon the man. Look at verse 12 of chapter 3.

44:28 God asks the man, Have you eaten of the tree whereof I commanded you that you should not eat? Adam, have you flat out disobeyed me? I want to know, Adam. I know, but I want to get to your conscience.

44:45 Adam, have you done what I told you not to do? Have you eaten of the tree whereof I commanded you that you should not eat? Adam, have you personally done what I told you not to do? Yes or no?

45:02 And how does Adam respond? And the man said, No longer now the wife, my Isha, but the woman, the woman whom you gave to be with me. She gave me of the tree. And where?

45:24 At the end of the line. I did eat. What's happened? Bone of my bone.

45:34 Flesh of my flesh. There's now this tremendous emotional and psychological distance. It's the woman, the woman, that creature. And it's that creature that you gave to me, now no longer spoken with delight.

45:54 This is now bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. She's the temptress. and you gave her to me. I wonder if James had this in mind when he said, let no man say when he's tempted, I am tempted of God.

46:08 There's the original accusation. You hadn't given the woman that had been none to give me of the fruit. What's happened? She's the woman.

46:21 You gave me. Not as a blessing, but a curse.

46:27 What a horrible thing.

46:30 This is why so many marriages turn into emotional and psychological chasms with finger pointing and blame shifting and mutual accusation. Where did it all start? Here's where it has its genesis. Right here in Eden.

46:56 Your psychologist and your sociologist and your so-called professional marriage counselors weren't there. God was. And God's telling us in this narrative, this is what has happened to that beautiful, symmetrical, breathtaking, baronial structure of God-planned, God-blessed marriage. How did it get from that to this?

47:29 This is how it got there. When our first parents sinned against God. And this is the third effect. Of that sin.

The Fall's Enduring Impact and the Need for Redemption

47:42 Without God yet pronouncing anything about the relationship. We'll see that God willing tonight. But just in terms of what we read in the passage. So when we ask the question, how did the beautiful edifice of marriage become such a shattered, marred edifice?

48:03 Here's the answer. The tragedy of the fall. Here we have seen just the immediate internal consequences of the fall as they relate to the marriage relationship. A shattering disruption of the marital oneness.

48:18 A shattering disruption of the spiritual oneness with God. A shattering disruption of the emotional and psychological oneness. And these are the realities that continue to be manifested in the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve. God willing, in subsequent messages we're going to look at marriage.

48:41 And motherhood. And home making. In the light of redemption. What God does to intervene.

48:48 To sort out this mess. But we will never appreciate either our need for and the wonder and glory of God's redemptive grace as it touches the institution of marriage. Unless we're willing to look at the reality of this horrible marring and twisting of that blessed relationship that came as a result of the fall. And though in redemptive grace as we shall see God by bringing us back into delightful communion with Himself through Jesus Christ placing in us His Holy Spirit giving then the model of our relationship Christ and His Church in the power of the Spirit motivated by Gospel dynamics we can begin to begin to approach what God intended marriage to be. The most God blessed marriage suffused with the greatest measure of the dynamics of redemptive grace is still a marriage marred by the fall. We've got to understand that. So that you who are married have realistic expectations of what that relationship will be.

50:16 You're going to carry the effects of Eden's defection from God to your grave. I say to you unmarried you boys, you girls, you young men and women don't think of marriage with a non-biblical idealism. Two sinners entering into the most intimate relationship known to man in which multi-level pressure is brought upon every level of our remaining sin two sinners coming into that relationship are going to discover elements of the wretchedness of their own hearts that they never knew existed. As well as discover dimensions of God's sufficient grace that you never knew existed. But don't be shocked when that relationship causes you to say oh, now I see what Pastor was getting so excited about. Now I see. Let me take one aspect for example.

Application: The Centrality of a Walk with God for Marriage

51:21 I said that when Adam and Eve sinned and they draw back from the voice of God and the word of God their marriage, their relationship becomes a distant one. Every step they take away from the presence and voice of God they take away from one another. That happens in your marriage. You listen to me you married men and women.

51:46 The greatest contribution you make to your marriage is the maintenance of a close, vital, intimate walk with God in Jesus Christ. You can go to all the marriage seminars in the world ten hints how to be a happy husband ten hints how to be the ideal wife but at the end of the day the issue is this are you living with a heart that yearns to hear the voice of God day by day speaking in the scriptures? Are you living in communion with God in communion with God himself? That's the issue.

52:28 And I would be very surprised if there are not some marriages represented by people sitting right here this morning that are sour and flat in every way. And the issue is you're not walking with God. You're not living in the word of God. If you name the name of Christ that's shameful because God intends that your marriage will be such a theater of his grace that when people want to know how does Christ relate to his church and his people and how do his people relate to him they ought to see mirrored in your marriage and mine something of that blessed relationship.

Call to Dealings with God and Anticipation of Communion

53:10 God willing tonight we'll consider the second major heading of what the subsequent pronouncement of God is concerning how the fall affects the marriage relationship and we're going to focus particularly on verses 17 to 21. But I ask you sitting here this morning has our consideration of these things caused you to see here's the problem it's a sin issue. It's not that I don't have the techniques and it's not that I haven't been to the seminars. I have to have dealings with God.

53:48 And if that's so I pray God you'll have dealings with him this morning that when we come tonight and gather about the Lord's table it will be with a fresh sense of your gratitude for, and your living faith in the gracious redemption of our Lord Jesus Christ. Let's pray together. Our Father we thank you for your word that it is a lamp unto our feet and a light to our pathway and we pray that you would take the things we have considered today and cause them to bear fruit in all of our lives. We are grieved our hearts feel genuine sadness when we read the account of the defection of our first parents. We acknowledge that we were in Adam when he sinned and that we have the horrible undeniable fruits of that defection in our own lives. Oh Lord have mercy upon us be gracious to us continue to teach us out of the word and help us to run in the way of your commandment. Amen.