Distinctive Sexual Identity, Part 3

Welcome and Introduction to the Series

0:05 This adult Sunday school class was held on May 1, 1988, at the Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey.

0:21 While we are waiting for others to find their seats, let me extend a very special welcome to a number of you for whom, in a sense, this is like homecoming. It was a great delight to see several of the graduates of the Academy with their wives and families down with us. For the wedding yesterday and staying over for this morning, we're also delighted to have someone who's presently giving his life to help protect us, flying around with those deterrent instruments called hydrogen bombs and atom bombs, someone in our military. And we don't say that tongue-in-cheek.

1:06 There are many places where there is a naive attitude about sin and how God restrains the outward. We're thankful for those who do serve in the military, and we have one visiting with us who is serving the Lord in that capacity. And so we do extend a very warm welcome to all of you. We're just grieved that we know many of you have to leave after the morning service and make your way back to your own appointed sphere of dwelling and labor.

1:35 But let me say for all of God's people, many of whom I'm sure will be disappointed that they won't be able to speak to you personally, it's been a great pleasure. It's been a great delight to see your countenances and to have even this brief touch-and-go interaction with you over these couple of days. Now, for the benefit of those visiting with us, perhaps just a word of explanation is in order. We have begun a series of studies in the adult class, intermittently pecking away at this series, under the general heading of crucial issues facing us as the people of God.

2:10 And we sought to lay a biblical foundation. And we sought to lay a biblical foundation for addressing these very crucial and practical issues by opening up, by way of class discussion and interaction, Romans 12, verses 1 and 2, as the framework within which we as God's people must think with respect to our duty and our practice as the people of God. And then we went on further to add an additional dimension to the perspectives within which, a believer must seek to live out his life in the world by concentrating on three very fundamental issues, namely, our dependence upon the will of God for our existence,

2:55 our dependence upon the word of God for our directives, and then our dependence upon the grace and power of God for our performance of God's will. And then we began to address one of the most crucial issues facing, Christians, in our own generation, namely, the matter of male and female identity, roles, and function. And in taking up this subject, we have been addressing this very burning issue, perhaps best framed in a question.

3:31 Is there any fundamental difference between men and women beyond the difference of their primary sexual organs, a difference designed... by God, ordained of God, and perpetuated by the inscripturation of the will of God as we have the scriptures?

Review of Creation Design and Recommended Resources

3:55 Are there God-assigned, non-reversible, non-interchangeable roles and functions? And in seeking to address this broad area of concern, we have started where we saw our Lord and the Apostles started, indeed, dealing with questions of this nature, namely, the Biblical account of creation. And so we have gone back to the early chapters of Genesis, and the first thing we attempted to do was to consider the fundamental issues embedded in God's creative design and action.

4:36 And we simply looked at the creation accounts in Genesis chapter 1, and in Genesis chapter 2, we looked at the fundamental, the fundamental areas of equality or parallel identity, and then we considered together the distinctive male identity and function, and then distinctive female identity and function. And we were not treating these things exhaustively, but looking at the major principles that are embedded in the creation account. Now, at this point, I want to recommend again two books that I've already mentioned, and Rob tells me they are now both in...

5:15 The new edition of Elizabeth Elliot's book, Let Me Be a Woman, is a bit smaller and just has a picture of her daughter, Valerie, on it, but it's the same book, and then her companion book, The Mark of a Man. Now, to give you a little idea of how Mrs. Elliot, or Mrs. ...

5:33 I forgot her Scandinavian name now, but she's known as Betty Elliot, how she picks up on some of these strands out of Genesis. We saw that the woman was created, or the man, as companion, counterpart, helper, and follower. She has a chapter in The Mark of a Man called Femininity Means Response, and in writing to her nephew about these matters, she writes as follows. Eve was made to order.

6:03 God saw the shape of Adam's need and designed the woman to fit it exactly in every way. She was to be an adapter. When you're looking for the right woman, to marry Pete, look for one who's prepared to adapt to you. Now, don't suppose for a minute that you yourself won't have to budge.

6:24 When two people live together day and night for life, both of them need to give and take, and I'll mention more of this later. But if you find a woman who's ready to go where you go and do what you do without brooding about being, quote, her own person, end quote, you have found a treasure. She will have to be, a woman who has submitted herself to God, first of all, because otherwise she'll be listening to the insistent voices all around her telling her that she's got to be independent and autonomous, that she ought not to be, quote, only, end quote, somebody's wife or somebody's mother, that she needs to seek fulfillment for herself

7:08 and that that can only be found beyond the bounds of her home. If having submitted herself to God, she understands, understands that what he had in mind when he made her was response in order that both man and woman be fulfilled, she will be at peace with this divine arrangement. Her femininity is bound up not only with her having been made for the man, but in having been made from him. And then she derives some of the very same principles that we have seen in our study.

7:44 So I read those things by way of review to state them a little differently and also to encourage you to purchase both of these books. Now, so much for this review and introduction. Having considered together the areas in which there is essential or parallel identity between the male and the female, sharing equally in the dignity of being image bearers, equally accountable to God, equally responsible as stewards before God, and now having looked at the distinctive male function and identity and female function and identity, we pass on now from the original creation to the second major category.

The Tragic Disruption of God's Design Through the Fall

8:29 We've looked at male and female distinctions and identity from the standpoint of the original creative design of God, but now no treatment of this subject is adequate if it does not concentrate at least at some point along the way very early on what I am calling the tragic disruption of God's design through the fall. The tragic disruption of God's design through the fall. We've looked at the original design of the Creator, now the tragic disruption of that design, the tragic disruption

9:12 of that God's design through the fall. There it is. You know my code language. You know my code language better than I do.

9:18 Very good. So let us turn now to the book of Genesis again, and I hope through the studies that Pastor Bob has been conducting with you in Genesis, dovetailing with our studies, none of you will ever regard the book of Genesis as a luxury. And if you hear people say, well, it's not important if we regard the first 11 chapters of Genesis as real, straightforward history, it may be myth, it may be saga, it may be a beautiful poetic representation of some kind of some reality or other. I hope you're ready to shed blood for the historicity and factuality

10:01 of these opening chapters of Genesis because the entire structure of the biblical concept of who man is, what he is to be, and then the whole scheme of redemption all rests down upon the point of these opening chapters of Genesis. And if they become disintegrated, the rest of the whole fabric of revealed religion will ultimately come apart at the seams. So we turn to Genesis and we pick up the account of the fall as it is set before us in chapter 3. Genesis chapter 3.

Tragic Role Reversal in the Circumstances of the Fall (Genesis 3:1-8)

10:36 Now as I read the first eight verses, I want you to try to discover what lies on the very surface of the account of the entrance of sin, as far as an abnormality or an irregularity with reference to the original creative design. The woman made for the man, she takes her instructions from the man about the knowledge of the tree or the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. She is a helper answering to the man in the light of all that we've seen. See if you can discover what on the very surface is an irregularity with reference to this original creative design.

11:21 Genesis chapter 3. Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, has God said you shall not eat of any tree of the garden? And the woman said unto the serpent, Of the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat, but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, You shall not eat of it, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.

11:56 And the serpent said unto the woman, You shall not surely die, for God knows that in the day that you eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and you shall be as God, knowing good and evil. And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired, to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and she gave also unto her husband with her, and he did eat. The eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons,

12:40 and they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day. And the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord, from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden. Now we'll have occasion to read further later on in our lesson today, but do you see at least what we could call an abnormality lying right on the surface of this passage in terms of God's original creative design for the respective roles and relationships of the man and the woman? If you think you see it, raise your hand, and I'll acknowledge you and, you will go to the head of the class,

13:24 or you will have a red face. All right? Okay. George, and what does that indicate?

13:36 So being that God did not make them that way shows that it's something God did not originally... All right.

13:47 Okay. I believe that's a valid observation. That's not what I'm fishing for. All right?

13:53 Lamar?

13:56 She takes the lead? Where do you see that? Do you see that? How many of you were going to say that?

14:08 Come off it. We don't have that. We don't have that many cowards. Okay.

14:12 All right. I believe you. Your yay is yay by the raising of your hand. All right.

14:18 Well, if so, then I'm glad because it shows that you're thinking now in the mode that you ought to be thinking. God is teaching us in these passages not only by the explicit words that he says, but by what he has recorded of the circumstances of the fall. Now, see, we'd love to have lots of details flushed out. We'd love to know what did the serpent look like before it was cursed and made to go on its belly.

14:48 We'd love to know that. I'd like to know that. Wouldn't you? How did the adversary, the devil, the evil one, how did he inhabit,

15:04 put his own spirit within? How did he make...

15:08 We have all kinds of questions. We wish God had just given us all...

15:11 But you see, God bypasses all the things that our idle curiosity would love to know. But when he does give us details, he's giving them because he has a very wise purpose in mind. And you will notice that the whole setting of the entrance of sin into the world is one where we first of all find the woman in a condition...

15:36 And this is Eve. I'll make her like that, all right? Because I usually...

15:44 Those of you who aren't with us, I usually distinguish males and females this way. But Eve had no skirt and she had no tight corset to give her that kind of a small waist. So she was like this, okay? So there's Eve.

15:58 But it's very interesting, isn't it, that the whole scene opens with Eve somewhere near a forbidden object because there's no indication that she had to travel any distance to see and to look enough to have her salivary... salivary...

16:19 salivary glands get active. It was good for food and the rest. She is near a forbidden object and she is isolated from her husband. So we'll just make him here with some broader shoulders, okay?

16:33 There we go. All right. She had shoulders, but more like that. Okay, there we go.

16:38 All right? So we see that there's a situation that on the surface of it makes us a bit nervous. She is isolated and then there is this interaction between the...

16:51 woman and the uh... sultan and then the woman who was made to follow she now takes a place of leadership.

17:03 She is the first in the transgression. We read in in, uh, 1 Timothy chapter 2 and then as Professor Martin has pointed out notice in verse 4 um, sorry and verse 6 and when the woman saw that the tree was good for food it was a delight to the eyes the tree was uh...

17:22 to be desired to make one wise she took of the fruit thereof and did eat and she gave also unto her husband with her and he. Through this matter of the tragic disruption of God's design through the fall I have put in my notes number one there is a tragic role reversal in the very circumstances of the fall. A tragic role reversal in the very circumstances of the fall. The man was made to lead.

18:05 The woman was to take directives from her loving head leader and teacher. Now she is isolated she makes an independent judgment about reality under the instigation and temptation of the devil and 1st Peter 1st Timothy chapter 2 says she was utterly deceived. Adam was not utterly deceived. He went in as it were with wide-eyed disobedience whereas Eve was duped for God may I say it reverently God did not make her to be in that place of isolation.

18:45 She was to be under the shadow and under the guidance and protection of Adam and in that condition we find her taking the lead and not only taking the lead in sin but the one who was made to be a helper answering to Adam's need becomes the very instrument through which he is led into sin. Now if you say someone may say isn't that reading a bit too much into the circumstances no because when God later on deals with Adam and Eve notice how God underscores this very point in chapter 3 and verse 17. And unto

19:29 Adam he said because you have hearkened unto the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you saying you shall not eat of it cursed is the ground for your sake. You see God underscores that there was an overturning of his original creative design. God had revealed to Adam his will about that tree. He did it to Adam directly as we saw in our study of chapter 2.

20:02 And it was Adam who instructed Eve about that tree of the knowledge of good and evil and passed on to Eve the revelation he had received from God. He was appointed to be her leader and instructor in these matters of knowing and doing the will of God and instead there is a reversal and he hearkens unto the voices of his wife instead of the voice of his God. There are some wonderful comments in a reprint the doctrine of creation in the fall by a man named MacDonald Donald MacDonald obviously a Scot and some

20:46 very helpful material let me read just oh it's just part of a paragraph it is worthy of remark that here for the first time the man is called the husband of the woman her man or her husband by this the historian evidently designed to direct attention to the total perversion of the divine ordinance of marriage which this conduct exhibited and to show that the woman designed as a help for her husband became a hindrance by becoming the agent of the tempter the same truth is further pointed out by the term with her which is taken

21:31 by some to intimate that Adam was present during this transaction or at least towards its close but as this is not at all probable it's better to consider the reference to be to the union or conjugal relation which existed between Adam and Eve and the husband on his part was so far forgetful of God and of the authority with which he was entrusted not only as the head of creation but also and especially as the head of the woman that at her solicitation he committed an act which the supreme governor had expressly forbidden him she gave also

22:15 to her husband with her and he did eat thus was the transgression completed this act of the man sanctioning and adopting the sin of the woman was not merely a violation of the commandment relative to the forbidden fruit but also a breach of the whole law James 2.10 and particularly was it an entire reversal of the original and prescribed relation of husband and wife in which the former the husband was appointed to rule and the latter to obey for here the man relinquishes his authority and submits to the where he ought to command

22:59 and to check and I was speaking about this to my wife and said in a very real sense we could say that the dominant impression of a first reading of the account of the fall might have as its title a horrible account of male and female role reversal there's where the emphasis falls in terms of the relationship of Adam and Eve in the first transgression there was a tragic role reversal in the circumstances of the fall and then we notice secondly and here we'll go down through

Liabilities of Blame-Shifting and Evasion of Responsibility (Genesis 3:9-13)

23:44 more of the passage the tragic role encumbrances which came as a result of the fall when there was a role reversal with that reversal in the entrance of sin God as a matter of judgment now brings some encumbrances to the rules which the man and the woman are to fulfill and some of them God brings as a curse some of them are the outcropping of the now fallen nature of Adam and of Eve and notice the first one it's what I'm calling the liabilities of blame

24:28 shifting evasion of personal responsibility verses 9 to 13 and the Lord God called unto the man and said unto him where are you and he said I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself and he said who told you that you were naked now notice God's question have you Adam have you eaten of the tree whereof I commanded you to eat that you should not eat now that's a pretty pointed question Adam have you been guilty of open eyed high handed treason against me

25:13 have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you you should not eat Adam have you blatantly willfully with open eyed knowledge violated my revealed will yea or nay now notice the response of Adam and often this becomes the occasion of little kind of tittering nervous jokes but it's not funny dear people because that first expression of sin at the horizontal level is what so complicates male and female relationships and the fulfillment of roles to this very day

25:55 and the man said now notice the woman whom you gave to be with me she gave me of the tree and oh yes I did eat you see what he's doing he's placing forward the shifting or he's shifting the blame forward both to the woman and to God and he is implicated only in the third place the woman you and I God said Adam have you eaten of the tree that I forbade and Adam should have said I ate

26:40 I am guilty and he said even though you gave me such a gracious gift and even though you made it plain in the manner in which you took her from my side and brought her to me and gave me the privilege of naming her and instructing her and teaching me that I should be her leader I tragically failed I not only ate of the tree but I failed to give her the leadership I submitted to a role reversal situation it should have been I I I I I I I I I , I have overturned I have disobeyed you see there is a place to have an awful lot of I in your talking to God and that's when it comes to confession of sin

27:24 you read Psalm 51 I have sinned against thee and thee only have I sinned and done that which is evil in thy sight behold I was shapen in iniquity and in sin did my mother concede me well you see there is none of that kind of frank straight forward owning of the blame in that sense in a godly manly manner there is this shifting this evading and there is this liability of blame shifting from the very entrance of sin and it touches that most sensitive of all human relationships the husband wife relationship now do you see what practical question

28:07 this resolves why is it so difficult at times for us to be able to find a husband and wife to sort out a spat or a problem when it comes to fixing blame because this is part and parcel of our fallen disposition to blame our spouse or to blame God for giving us such a spouse the woman that thing well wait a minute at the end of chapter 2 I mean he was like Howard was yesterday with Doreen this is now bone of my bones flesh of my flesh he doesn't say my flesh he says the woman the woman that thing the woman that you gave to me

28:50 implicating the woman implicating God as though he was sort of the helpless victim that just sort of came along he was the tail that was wagged by the dog what a terrible thing and you will never understand the tensions in your marriage until you face honestly that that disposition is inbred in you from your very conception and though its dominance is broken when God breaks the law when God breaks the law when God breaks the law when God breaks the law when God breaks the dominion of sin and regeneration brings us to repentance and faith it is one of the most stubborn strands of remaining sin to wither before the sanctifying influence of the Holy Spirit God comes to us again and again and says have you lost your temper

29:35 and instead of saying oh God I lost my temper we say the woman she did this and she said that and she did this and she she she she and wait a minute and wait a minute and wait a minute and wait a minute and right at the end we kind of mumbled through clenched teeth oh yeah your teeth oh yeah I did it that's why it's so hard for somebody if you look your wife straight in the eye and not to just say oh I'm sorry I won't do good look her straight in the eye and say honey I sinned blew my cool not say I'm sorry don't start with I'm sorry that's just telling you how you feel Judas went into the temple and said I'm sorry so what he wasn't penitent

30:20 but look your wife straight in the eye and say when I spoke to you that way I sinned I demeaned you I who am to be your protector your nourisher as we heard yesterday so powerfully and clearly when Pastor Nichols preached in Ephesians 5 I who am to be your nurturer your protector I cut and wounded you with my hasty words I've sinned against God and you will you forgive me see now the ball is in her court see that's the wonderful thing when you confess sin biblically it puts the issue in the other person's court see if I say to you I'm sorry you say oh if I and you're sorry so what you hurt me and I ain't going to forgive you well how can you I haven't asked forgiveness yet

31:04 but when I say I sinned will you forgive me the ball's out of my court it's in yours now and you've got to knock it back to me saying yes I will forgive you and if you won't you've got a controversy with God and if you maintain that spirit you've got a real bad controversy with God you've got reason to question whether you're a Christian because Jesus said if you do not forgive every man his brother from the heart neither will your heavenly father forgive you but you see forgiveness is conditioned upon the acknowledgement of sin and guilt now sometimes we use I'm sorry as a synonym I know that but I think we ought to be more precise and biblical in our terminology

31:48 because I find it a real check on whether or not I'm being honest about my sin to say honey I sinned say to my fellow elders brethren I sinned when I spoke that way five minutes ago in the elders meeting will you forgive me see here's the blame shifting this tragic role reversal in the circumstances then the tragic role encumbrance number one is the liability of blame shifting evasion of personal responsibility that is in the very texture of our souls since the fall of men fall of man alright then notice the second liability it's the liabilities in the stewardship of procreation and they come particularly to the woman

Liabilities in the Stewardship of Procreation (Genesis 3:16)

32:33 unto the woman he said I will greatly multiply thy pain and thy conception in pain thou shalt bring forth children and thy desire shall be to thy husband and he shall roll over thee now notice in the original creative design there was the stewardship of procreation given equally to the man and to the woman be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth now that creative design has not changed it's still God's will that Adam and Eve should multiply and replenish the earth but now sin has introduced

33:17 a liability into the stewardship of procreation a liability which falls peculiarly upon the woman now when we look at the precise language notice what it says unto the woman he said I will greatly multiply thy pain and thy conception in pain thou shalt bring forth children now as I've tried to read the commentators who are knowledgeable in the Hebrew and in the structure of the passage and men who are respected as trusted guides I find that there is no real consensus of agreement as to precisely what is being

34:02 said here is God saying, I will greatly multiply the pain that will be found in conjunction with parturation, with conception, and ultimate bearing of the children? Or is he saying two distinct things, that I will greatly multiply thy pain in conjunction with the process of childbearing, and I will also greatly multiply the, what the old writers would call the fecundity of the woman. Fecund means to be fruitful. And is the problem of excessive fruitfulness part of that curse?

34:43 I'm not sure if that's what the language is saying. One thing is clear, that the emphasis in the next part of the verse falls back again upon pain. So let's say this much for sure. Notice, in pain thou shalt bring forth children.

35:02 That the first liability in the stewardship. The stewardship of procreation, particularly to the woman, is an intensification of the pain and the personal discomfort that is associated with the fulfillment of the stewardship of bringing forth children. Now you say, that raises a question. Would the birth contractions have been painless before the fall?

35:32 I don't know. But I think we can say this much in the light of the subsequent. Revelation of what the eternal state will be. God says there shall be no more pain, nor sorrow, nor tears, nor crying, nor death.

35:46 So I would like to think that what a woman experienced, would have experienced before the fall, was just the same kind of satisfying muscular exertion that you feel when you go through a good workout. Some of you that work out with weights at all, you know there's that point at which you just feel that the muscles have been properly exercised. And you feel good. But there's that point at which professional bodybuilders must undergo pain.

36:12 They push themselves beyond that point to where they break down tissue through pain in order to build up tissue. And that's how they end up looking like the Hulk, you see.

36:25 Personally, the only way I can fit together what is promised in the eternal state, no more pain, when the curse is fully passed away, apparently the birthing process prior to the fall. Would it not? It would not have been painful. There would have been a comfortable exertion of the muscles by which the child is expelled.

36:48 But now, because of the entrance of sin, there is this liability, this pain connected with childbirth that is greatly multiplied. Then notice, there is a further liability placed upon the woman. Thy desire shall be to thy husband. And he shall rule over thee.

37:12 Now, what does this phrase mean? Thy desire shall be to thy husband. And again, I can't find commentators that agree. Some say what it's talking about is that as a result of the woman overturning her proper place as a follower and becoming a leader in the whole complex of the event of the fall, what God is saying is he will now do something in her very psyche.

37:39 That gives her a yearning for her husband that goes beyond that original yearning in which perhaps she was safer with a measure of psychological, not independence, but freedom from an almost obsessive attachment. Some say it refers to sexual passion. Some say to a psychological affinity. I'm not sure.

38:05 But all I know is there's something in the relationship. It is a part of the curse. Now, maybe some of the brethren who've studied this more in detail and teach in the academy can help us in a moment. But as I've went back through the passage and tried to study the commentaries that I have available to me, I found that there was no real consensus as to the precise meaning of that part of the curse upon her.

38:31 Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. And here there is a general consensus. That as a result of the curse, there is no real consensus. That as a result of the fall, the man's leadership now becomes often an oppressive and a stringent and an insensitive, domineering rule over the woman.

38:53 And certainly we can see whole societies where the woman is treated as a chattel, as a house slave. She is the object that men impregnate in order to bear them children to increase their status. And all you do is keep that thing clothed and fed so that it can produce little status symbols for you in the tribe or in the village or wherever else it is. And so one of the results then of the fall is that there is an intensification of male dominance that is not an inherent blessing.

39:32 It's as though God said, you throw off his headship, I will intensify it in a way that will cause you suffering. You see? That's not fair. I wasn't there.

39:44 Sorry, folks. Facts is facts.

39:48 This is God's arrangement. And in the midst of it, of course, is that wonderful ray of light in verse 15 that we've not looked at, that first gospel promise that just as sin in that sense entered through the woman being utterly deceived, it's by the very seed of the woman that redemption will be brought to mankind. And God elevates and dignifies womanhood. By promising a seed of the woman that will bruise the head of the serpent before he even pronounces these elements of curse upon the woman.

40:24 And you see how grace is right here in this passage? God speaks to the woman and speaks of the woman that she will be the one through whom the deliverer will come. And then he speaks to the woman and puts these particular liabilities upon her. So there were the liabilities of blame-shifting and evasion of personal responsibility because of the nature now being fallen and depraved, the liabilities in the stewardship of procreation, the liabilities of her position of submission, and then the liabilities of the role reversal that come to Adam.

Liabilities of Adam's Role as Provider and Leader (Genesis 3:17-19)

41:07 And unto Adam he said, Because you have hearkened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you. Saying, You shall not eat of it. Cursed is the ground for your sake. In toil you shall eat of it all the days of your life.

41:22 Thorns and thistles shall it bring forth to you. And you shall eat the herb of the field. In the sweat of your face shall you eat bread till you return unto the ground. So labor again that would have been sweet.

41:36 And Adam who would have worked in toward evening would have felt a measure of healthy tiredness. It would have made his sleep sweet. Now God is going to make the earth in many ways unyielding. Thorns and thistles there to choke out its life, constantly battling against his efforts to have productive ground.

41:57 There will be toil unto sweat. There will be an element of pain involved in his labor. And you see inherent in even the way God deals with Adam and Eve is an underscoring of their respective roles. The curses come to.

42:13 Eve in terms of her maternal function. They come to Adam primarily in terms of his provisional position and function in the purpose of God. So you see the original creative design is not overturned by the fall. Complicating elements enter.

42:33 But even in pronouncing what some of those elements will be, the woman's identity and function and role as child bearer is underscored. And Adam's role, the husband's role as provider and leader is underscored even in the administration of the curses. All right. Pastor Nichols or Professor Lamar, would you want to add something from your studies of that passage as to the precise significance, your own understanding of thy desire shall be to thy husband?

Discussion on 'Thy Desire Shall Be to Thy Husband' and the Battle of the Sexes

43:09 Have you done any study on it and can shed some further light? I'm sure we'd all appreciate it. One other thing that I've read about it, between that passage and the passage in Genesis chapter 4. Yes.

43:25 Verse 7. Yes. Same words used. Some words.

43:36 If you do well, shall it not be lifted up? And if you do not well, sin couches at the door. And unto you shall be its desire. But do thou rule?

43:49 The position is that this is a parallel and it's describing a power struggle between sin and power. And sin is going to attempt to dominate Cain, to control him, to rule him, and he must resist it. He must dominate it. He must conquer it, vanquish it, subdue it.

44:18 Then the understanding of Genesis 3 is, Genesis 3.16, is that what we have is a perpetuation here of the power struggle inherent in the role reversal. Mm-hmm. And that we have here.

44:33 A perpetuation of the battle of the sexes.

44:38 From now on, she's going to try to dominate her husband, like sin would try to dominate Cain, and to rule over him, to influence and control him, and he's going to respond with oppressive and harsh treatment, which will subjugate and conquer her. Yes. So you have a perpetuation of a power struggle, and that's part of it. For the commentators, that's not a, that's not an independent position, right?

45:04 To, I think, to the commentators. I read, pointed out that parallel. I didn't find the parallel use of the words in context, thy desire shall be to thy husband, convincing enough to come to that position. But at least it is an interesting parallel, and it fits both the general teaching of Scripture and certainly answers to human experience.

45:27 Yes. Professor Lamar? Yeah, I could add to that. The and there could be translated but just well, which would indicate a contrast between the two.

45:38 Yes, though the desire is there, but it's not going to be fulfilled, it's going to be frustrated by a counterpressure that will overcome it.

Man's Present Condition: Wimps or Tyrants (Romans 8:7)

45:50 So we have the tragic role reversal in the circumstances of the fall, now the tragic role encumbrances as a result of the fall, and now in our, the few minutes that remain, what I want to underscore, and these comments have simply led into what is very clear from other texts, what is man's present condition? What is the condition with which all of us now come into the world? Well, Romans 8, 7 is perhaps one of the most helpful texts in sorting out why is it if God's original created design was that the man was created to lead, the woman created to be a

46:33 helper answering to his need, to use Betty Elliott's word, an adapter, a follower, a supporter, why is it? Why is it? That women don't naturally flow into that role, and why is it that men do not naturally assume that role of gracious assertiveness, protector and guide and leader? Well, let's look at Romans 8 and verse 7.

47:00 Because the mind of the flesh, or the carnal mind, the governing disposition of all men by nature, who have not been born of the Spirit, indwelt by the Spirit. The mind of the flesh is enmity against God, for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can it be. Because of this inbred disposition that Paul says is enmity itself against God, there is in every man by nature, and in every Christian man in terms of remaining sin,

47:44 an indisposition to lead with gracious assertiveness.

47:52 In its place there is a disposition to lead, if at all, with tyranny, with insensitive harshness, with a domineering, ugly kind of aggressiveness in leadership. So left to ourselves, men, we will either be wicked. Wimps or tyrants, to put it bluntly.

48:21 And cursed is the woman who must live with a wimp, who wants to be a follower. Now, there are many women who think they're blessed living with wimps, because the carnal disposition in them is one that they want to rule, and they've got a wimp whom they can rule. No, really, I think few things are more morally disgusting than a man who will be led about by an aggressive woman. Why?

48:50 There's something so utterly unseemly in it. Why? Because it's an overturning of the original, created design. And whatever overturns the original, created design is ugly.

49:03 What God made, He looked at and said, very good. What sin does, you look at it and say, very ugly. Now let me ask you something, men. Objective eyes looking at your relationship to your wife, do they see the ugliness of wimpiness?

49:21 Or the ugliness of wimpiness? Or the ugliness of tyranny? Where in group situations you utterly ignore your wife, you never draw her into conversation, you're so full of your own ideas and your own words and the way you want to say it and your own opinions, your wife feels she's a nobody. She may as well be one of those little magnetic buttons on the refrigerator door.

49:46 Occasionally good to stick a paper under it, but that's it. Does your wife feel that way in group situations, in the family? Family worship? Social situations?

49:57 Down in the lobby of the church? Do you treat her like a thing? Say, I'm not sure. Well, have the courage to go home and ask her today.

50:07 Do I govern and rule with a rule and a government that reflects the dynamics of grace, that brings us back, at least to some degree, to Eden, before the fall? When Adam's delight was in his wife, bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. When he found delight in his wife, born of my flesh, flesh of my flesh. When he found delight in his wife, born of my flesh.

50:25 When he found delight in his wife, born of my flesh. Fight in teaching her what God had told him about his will with reference to the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. About his responsibility to dress the garden and keep it. And with excitement, he drew Eve into his world and made her a part of it.

50:44 Do you constantly shut her out? You never tell her what goes on from 7.30 in the morning till you get home at 5.30?

50:52 She doesn't know a thing about your work. She doesn't know a thing about your association. You live in a totally different world. You shut her out.

51:00 And then you sit down and figure out it's time to buy a new car. And so you go out and buy it and never consult her about the color, about what would she enjoy in the car. You just do it and then you tell her if you don't like it, go get one on your own. That's ugly.

51:17 God never intended that you should lead that way. That's ugly. That's tyranny. That is not godly loving headship.

Woman's Present Condition: Resistance or Mindless Servility

51:26 So we have the problem. You see, of men who will not lead, they're either wimps or tyrants. And then also you have women who will not follow or, listen carefully, who follow with a mindless servility that is not glorifying to God.

51:48 The only reason some marriages continue to exist is that women render a kind of servile submission in which they are denying their image-bearingness. They are denying their image-bearing identity. They act like mindless automatons. And the tyrant gets away with all kinds of stuff because the woman lets him.

52:12 And if I'm speaking to a woman who thinks submission means that you can let your husband, who names the name of Christ,

52:20 do anything, any way and get away with it and never raise your voice, please come to speak to me. Because you need to have your conscience instructed that if you're a helper answering to his need, that man needs to be faced with his sin when he treats you like a mindless dope and a slave. And he's clever enough only to do it in situations where you see it. So we can't see him overtaken in his fault.

52:49 If you who see him in that fault don't speak to him, who's going to? And when the scripture says, if someone be overtaken in a fault, restore him. If thy brother sin against thee, rebuke him. It doesn't say, except if that brother happens to be your husband.

53:09 You see, spiritual responsibilities are not negated by the marriage bond. Nor are ecclesiastical strictures suspended by the marriage bond. You see, if you talk to him about his tyranny and he won't deal with it, now you can take a couple of your close friends as witnesses and talk to him. And then if he won't deal with it, now you can come to the elders.

53:29 Matthew 18. Who do you say, but that's the elders, right? It's the families. That's right.

53:36 God stuck them there. We're not sticking them there. God has.

53:41 Marriage does not mean immunity from living a holy life if you're a confessed disciple of Jesus Christ and a member in good standing of his church. And you can't find a verse in the Bible that says it does.

53:54 So you see, women either rear back and are like unbroken fillies. And as Pastor Nichols said yesterday, ain't no man going to hold a bit, neck rein me, mouth no, sir. I'm going to get...

54:10 I'm going to get a bit in my teeth and hold it and he'll have to break my neck. What a terrible thing. Woman, that's ungodly and that's ugly. God didn't make you to function that way.

54:22 Nor did he make you to function as though you were a dumb beast. And don't let anyone treat you like a dumb beast. Now there are complicating factors with an unconverted man. I realize that.

Complicating Factors of the Fall and Anticipation of Restorative Grace

54:35 1 Peter chapter 3. And we can't answer all the details of pastoral casuistry. But I want you to see the main principles that as a result of the fall and this tragic role reversal, now these tragic role encumbrances, man with a disposition by nature that is enmity against God, now add to that the horrible abnormalities that have entered the human race at the genetic level because of sin. Some men are put together genetically so that physically and psychologically they have a very...

55:12 a very low level of masculinity. I don't believe that ever would have been true had the fall not occurred. Some men have a predisposition to be more feminine in their whole bearing. Now I am not saying anyone is programmed to be a homosexual.

55:29 I'm not saying that. But what I am saying is it's an obvious fact you can see with your eyes that some men are genetically programmed in their whole bone structure and physical structure, the thickness of their vocal cords, to be more dominant, to be more masculine than others. So that's complicated the matter of men taking their proper roles and women taking their proper roles. And then you see there are the complicating factors of the pain that comes to the woman and the discomfort and the irritation and the frustration in her role as a child bearer.

56:04 And the pain and the discomfort and the aggravation of the man now having to provide in a hostile climate thorns and thistles. And all of this...

56:14 This grates upon already fallen nature. And these two people have to live together day after day, week after week, month after month. Well, you see, why the acid test so often of real progress in grace is in the marriage relationship because we've got all those liabilities that we bring to it. But blessed be God, and we'll close on this note because then next week we're going to take up the third major category, the glorious design, and dynamics of restorative grace for male and female roles in relationships.

56:51 And we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us so women can take their place joyfully and find fulfillment. Men can take their place joyfully and find fulfillment, and God is glorified. And I would urge you to try to give a little thought this week as to what passages set forth God's glorious, glorious design and the dynamics, the provisions of restorative grace as they relate to male and female roles and relationships. And we'll be looking at about seven or eight key passages, God willing, in our study next week.

Prayer

57:30 Let us pray.

57:33 Father, we do give you thanks that we have your holy word as a lamp unto our feet and a light to our pathway. And our God, we are grieved as we read the tragic account of Adam and Eve, Eve's defection in the garden. And yet, we grieve even more for the fruit of that defection that we see in our own lives. Forgive us who are men when we have been wimps, when we have refused to bear the burden of manly leadership.

58:08 Oh, God, forgive us when we have tempted our wives and women around us to be less than feminine because we have been far, far from godly in our masculinity. Have mercy upon women who have resisted their assigned roles. Lord, show them the evil of that resistance. Show them that in the way of submission is the way of peace.

58:36 Bless them, the things we have considered together and continue to give us light and understanding and grace to follow our enlightened understanding. For Jesus' sake, Amen.