Marriage and Redemption (a)

Introduction to Marriage and Redemption

0:04 Now may I encourage you to turn to the book of Ephesians, chapter 5. Ephesians, chapter 5.

0:15 And I shall read, beginning at verse 15, through to the end of the chapter.

0:22 Ephesians 5, at verse 15.

0:27 Look therefore carefully how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are even. Look therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not be drunk with wine, wherein is riot, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father. Amen.

1:08 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ. Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, being himself the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be, to their husbands, in everything.

1:44 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for it, that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such. Love their own wives as their own bodies. He that loves his own wife loves himself.

2:27 For no man esches and cherishes it, even as he loves his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one,

2:48 for he shall stand and receive. We are again conscious of our utter dependence upon the operations of your Holy Spirit.

3:31 If we are rightly to understand and believingly and obediently to receive, the word of truth, give us then that help of the Spirit we please. In Jesus' name. It is no exaggeration to affirm that within the Western world, during the last forty years, there has been an all-out attack

4:03 upon the success of the manifold social ills that have ripped open. In order to address this,

4:36 we have to set forth and begin a series of sermons entitled, In Praise, and in Defense. Then set forth to qualification the matters of marriage,

5:17 and asserted that the subject, if rightly to understand them or these subjects, must be viewed in the light of the biblical doctrines of creation, redemption, considered marriage, motherhood in light of creation, and in the light of Genesis 1 and 2,

5:49 what marriage was in Genesis chapter this morning, to begin to look at marriage,

6:17 motherhood and motherhood in the light of the holy word, a category, in Genesis 3, that although the fore-parents, stating influences to bear upon the marriage relationship, God made it clear that the institution of marriage itself would be tragic,

7:01 discarded as husband, and he'll carry out the procreative and dominion mandates. Genesis 3, Although marriage suffered, of mass to be sustained and perpetuated in a context of gospel provision 21 so having considered

7:38 marriage motherhood and homemaking in the light of creation and we come today to look at in the light of the biblical term redemption not in its most limited and technical sense when something is redeemed mercy by using it in its broader biblical sense of being brought out of bondage

8:17 from egypt redemption rather when i say we must motherhood redemption redemption the whole

8:44 redemption order to rest sinners from original as we consider marriage motherhood and homemaking

9:26 in the light of redemption that is god's glorious great take up each of these matters as a seven to look at marriage itself in the light of redemption then motherhood and homemaking issue marriage in the light of redemption

The Foundational Prerequisite: Life-Transforming Salvation

9:53 it's clear in the passage that i read in your hearing that is his church his spiritual bride

10:18 if you were anything other than totally asleep when i read the past combined passage not counting the pronouns and just number white white wives wives husband hub and if you go back through the same passage not counting the pronouns you will find 11 or 12 times the combination of christ and church husband wife christ in church

11:03 in the light of redemption and the light of redemption for me i consider of course is the view of the red copyrighted by the legal commission of the church and is also the newest and the benefit of the rusher mature church to say the redeemed are of it with thinking of it

11:47 biblically it's a b a drag image best a mirror image this is what i need even thought of bringing the light rather largely repeated try to make the illustrations did that a lot of interior image in my walk so that you'll see what my watch will what's the proper and not see christ in his spiritual union with his people we do not see artificial love laying down his life for a it was something that we commission unto christ into a redeemed hermit

12:33 a mirror of how Christ will redeem her. Christ is by past marriage

13:16 relationship. Mentally the effects of all upon marriage culminating in God. 17 that the woman's desire would be toward her husband and we interpreted that in the light of Genesis 4. 7. She would

13:42 seek to throw a legitimate yo insensitive. What we now relating to his wife in such a way that someone looking upon him relating to his

14:19 wife gains entrustful sin to that husband. Someone gains an accurate albeit not perfect church insensitive. Our redeemed marriages become increasingly

15:00 accurate. Come to Ephesians 5. 22-33 What do we find in this passage? Well we have a series of directives to experience a redeemed marriage. You want to have a

15:23 redeemed marriage? Here's God's divine to plunge into the specific directives. This evening. Do it till next week. We cannot transpose

15:54 Ephesians 5 with Ephesians 1. Ephesians 5 is precisely what it is. Ephesians 5. As Paul gives these specific directives. Husbands

16:14 give them in the opening verses of Ephesians 1. For the simple reason that by the time he comes to give these directives for a redeemed marriage he is assuming he has described in the dynamics are operative within the wives to whom he gives the directives and in the house to whom he gives the directives and without those dynamics of grace being operative in husbands and

16:59 wives it is impossible to have a redeemed marriage. To make bricks and give them no straw. To set for remarriage

17:17 cannot be this morning.

17:59 Look at them in two categories. We take the first this morning. And God willing the second tonight. First of all the foundational prerequisite. And secondly

18:28 the prerequisite. We'll take that up tonight. I struggled long at my desk. I said do I want to stick with the structural concept. Foundational

18:41 superstructure. Then I went to the target concept. Central bullseye and then the concentric circles. And then I went to other images. But I'm sticking

18:52 with the structural because it does express most clearly what I believe we see in the text. Look at the redeemed marriage in Ephesians chapter 5. We must see that marriage as resting down upon a superstructure. And that superstructure in turn rests down upon a solid foundation with good deep footing. What we're going

19:16 to do this morning is look at the foundation and the deep footing of what is a definite deniable prerequisite for a redeemed marriage. What it is. We take up our subject this morning. The foundational prerequisite.

19:50 Singular. For a redeemed marriage. There's nothing more. Life transforming participation in the salvation described.

20:09 Clear parts of the prerequisite for a redeemed marriage.

20:18 Nothing forming participation. The salvation described in the earlier part. In other words the participation of that salvation

21:02 that they can do what they're supposed to do to have a redeemed marriage. It says husbands in the earlier chapters. It's because they have experienced what they've experienced and are what they are in Christ that they have kinds of husbands that contribute their part. And frankly this is what when I see the state seminars and using

21:47 this Ephesians totally taxing it from Ephesians 1 and 2 joined together and put us under not only in marriage but in the structure. The foundational prerequisite for a redeemed marriage is nothing more, nothing less. Than a real transforming participation. Salvation described in the earlier parts of this letter.

Seven Characteristics of Foundational Salvation

22:29 And what are the leading characteristics of that salvation? Will you tighten your seatbelt? We're going to do a flyover of Ephesians 1 and 2. And we're going to see seven aspects. Not

22:41 exhaustive. And remember Paul says wives love as in his mind. One of those husbands. Number one. Salvation

23:14 located in Christ begins his eulogy in chapter 1 verse 3 with the words blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Blessing in the heavenly place. His hope unifies his spirit. Trinitarian salvation. He lets

23:42 us know at the outset that salvation is located in Christ himself. Verse 7. In whom in whom located located in themselves discovering their. It is not located in the church. It

24:19 is not located in the sacraments. It is not located in religious rituals. It is located in Christ himself. In Christ. Obedient to

24:33 husbands love. He's assuming they have a salvation that is located in this vital union with Jesus Christ. United to him as branches are united to the vine. Sharing the common life. A common identity.

24:51 Which of 2 Corinthians 5.17. If any is in. Secondly it's a salvation rooted in God's free sovereign choice of undeserving sinners.

25:13 It is a salvation rooted in God's free sovereign choice of undeserving sinners. Verse 4. Even as he chose us in him according to the good pleasure which he purposed. Verse 11 according to the purpose of him who works all things after the counsel. Not a

25:55 salvation rooted in a self generated decision to become a Christian. It is a salvation rooted in God's free sovereign choice of undeserving sinners. A wife and a husband. His things that counter his. What is it that

26:20 brings him or her into line? It's the recognition with the God. Marriage and the husbands their directives for a redeemed marriage. That they have some appreciation.

26:53 That they have a salvation not only located in Christ himself. But it is free sovereign by the blood of Christ. Sin as its central reality. Verse 7.

27:14 In whom we have our redemption through his two wives and the husband. That they have a real vital participation in this salvation procured by the blood of Christ with the forgiveness of the agony of Gethsemane. There in Gethsemane

27:58 this matter of drinking a wife who had appreciation that her salvation has been procured by the blood of Christ with the forgiveness of blessing.

28:40 Does it make a difference? Does less than that. Heart in that. The shame of God. Will it make

29:05 a difference wives?

29:14 Her perceived weaknesses and faults. To love her with the selfless self-giving sacrificial love of Christ. Does it make a difference? If his own heart on the forgiven sinner included the payment of the word of truth the gospel of your salvation

29:59 in whom having believed you were sealed with the holy or down payment of our inheritance unto the redemption of God's own possession unto the praise of his glory. Paul says wives you're to do to have a redeemed marriage. Husbands this is what you're to do. He's convinced. Spirit

30:34 lives in those husbands to enable them to do what they are natively disinclined to do. And what natively they have no power to do. Paul is convinced when he says husbands. You love as Christ loved.

31:03 He hasn't forgotten what he wrote in the earlier chapters. He held off to write about a redeemed marriage until he laid out the wonder and the glory of the sinner in the fifth place. Salvation with life for mercy for his great

31:46 lover with he loved us even when we were dead through our trespasses. Made us alive together with Christ. Raised us up with him. Made us to heavenly places in Christ Jesus.

32:19 Excited preaching.

32:22 When Paul's salvation conveyed by grace alone. Received by faith alone. Thereby excluding all blind. For by grace not of yourselves that no man should glory.

32:55 Is that making a marriage? Ah listen. The elementary issues of grace that simply by throwing myself upon an offered and an adequate savior I am received. There's no ground for boasting

33:28 in its very center. Salvation conveyed by grace alone. Received by faith alone. Excluding all boasting.

33:47 She doesn't talk about well it's not up to my feminine dignity to be submissive to that man. Where is your dignity if you've been broken before a holy? Contradiction of grace.

34:18 Don't care how much he understands his identity and role as leader and protector and guide. How can he draw back when he reads husband love your wives even as crazy. When I was so unloved. Me in the language of Ezekiel. When I was but

35:01 lying in my birth blood ugly and dis. Wives and husband. It's a salvation which makes new creations committed to a life of God prepared good works. Which makes committed God prepared work. Aided anew in Christ

35:45 Jesus for good work. So when someone who has been made a new creature in Christ committed unto God prepared good works comes to Ephesians. That person is a woman married and she reads wives. She says oh Lord you're talking to me and I'm a new creature in Christ

36:24 committed. And when the husband sees husbands he says yes Lord your servant hears. Doesn't come defensive. He doesn't come saying yeah but where are the loopholes? What are the

36:47 no no no no no no. You've created me anew in Christ Jesus for good works. You've prepared that I should walk in them Lord. I'm ready to walk.

The Necessity of True Conversion for a Redeemed Marriage

36:56 Now my dear friends unless you can persuade me from my Bible that I have mishandled the book of Ephesians. I'm prepared to state my sanity and my credibility as an expositor of scripture upon this principle.

37:20 You cannot have a redeemed man. You see why I've determined to look first at the prerequisites for a redeemed marriage before considering the directives for the attainment of it. Jesus said make the

37:50 tree. You cannot hang the good fruit of the redeemed marriage in Ephesians 5. You cannot see it grow on the rotten tree. It's still rooted in Adam and has never been uprooted and transplanted.

38:25 The foundational requisite for a redeemed marriage I submit is nothing more nothing less than a life transforming participation in the salvation described in the earlier part of this letter. Salvation located in Christ himself. A salvation rooted in God's free sovereign choice of undeserving sinners. A salvation procured by the blood of Christ with forgiveness of sin as a central blessing. A salvation that

39:05 includes the gift of the spirit. A salvation which is life from the dead. A salvation conveyed by grace alone, received by faith alone. A salvation which makes new creatures committed to a life of God. The foundational prerequisite for a

General Observation: The Crisis of Unredeemed Marriages in Evangelicalism

39:33 redeemed marriage. The time that remains the morning brings several observations and number one is a general observation. Pure way to see redeemed marriages and sinners be truly redeemed sinners. It's a tragic thing but all that I read in general Christian literature such magazines as Christianity Today things written by

40:14 James Dobson etc. Infidelity, husband abuse force rates is a general consensus among responsible Christian leaders that I don't feel I'm being a wacko by telling you that. The fruit is bad and my contention is the bad fruit of non-redeemed marriages

40:57 and evangelicalism is just that. It's bad fruit.

41:04 And what's the bad tree?

41:19 The widespread notion that when you get good and ready by a mere mental reshuffling of your furniture you can decide for Jesus and you are a Christian and you're fixed up forever no matter if anything happens in you, around you or to you. The whole doctrine you can have Christ as Savior not as Lord you can be in Christ but not indwelt and transformed by the Spirit. It is my contention that the mess evangelical churches in terms of unredeemed marriages is the rotten fruit

41:52 being seminars on ten ways to spice your arm the preaching in the power of the Holy Ghost of the true living and the from above and he that is born of God the radical nature of the new birth the fundamental transformations that grow

42:37 from true conversion things alone stuff there are sitting in this morning and I'll not name names husbands and wives let someone look at that mirror watch some of you men the way you related to them hold a mirror above your home and watch the way some of you wives related to your

43:20 husbands past you know what the mirror would say to people who looked at it it would be declaring the most wretched kind of heresy it would be saying Christ is narrow hearted abusive and insensitive to his bride it would be saying his bride headstrong and insubordinate

43:45 no limits of grace were your knowledge

The Suspect Conversion of Disobedient Spouses

44:30 and the power I sit in elders meeting and we give reports of our pastoral interaction and month in month out year in year out

45:12 various elders spend hours throwing their guts into marriages dead in the water and a pencil what do you say of the converted drunkard who still hugs his bottle what do you say of the converted gambler who still has a pocket full of bedding stubs what do you say of the converted lecher

45:54 who still visits his pornographic shops you say he ain't converted and what do you say of the converted wife who will not reverence her husband who will not submit to her husband what do you say of the converted husband who will not love his wife as Christ loves the church who will not nourish her who will not dwell with her according to knowledge giving honor to her as the weaker vessel his conversion is just as suspect as the converted gambler who still has a pocket full of bedding stubs and the converted drunk

46:39 who still hugs his bottle converted dope addict who still has his needle trapped some of you need to leave this place today and get on your face and say oh god is it i that's my first observation the second one is a special exhortation to the unmarried are you unmarried girls you're unmarried someday that smile leah says maybe you hope you are yeah they get their smile on that one's got the real smile she's already got her husband you see

Exhortation to the Unmarried: Seek Redeemed Spouses

47:22 she's got the cat caught the canary smile of any age your aspirations to be married you want a ficou Do you want a redeemed marriage, or do you want a Genesis 3 marriage without the gospel and without the provisions of grace?

47:56 Oh, I want a marriage in which we live happily ever after. That's a redeemed marriage. You ain't going to have a redeemed marriage unless you've got two redeemed people. It's hard enough with two redeemed sinners, but two or one unredeemed sinner?

48:14 You're not just shooting yourself in one foot. You're shooting yourself in both foot and shooting yourself in the head. You're dead before you start. You want a redeemed marriage, girls?

48:26 Then you determine. And I checked out my facts with my wife. It was Bambi and all the other animals that in the springtime got Twitter paid.

48:38 You know what they got when they got Twitter paid? That's when the little boys discovered there was little girls, little girl deer, little girl bunny rabbits, and all the other animals. And they got Twitter paid. And they got that gushy look in their eyeballs.

48:52 Now I want to be very serious. You young ladies, not so young, any of you have marriage as a godly, sanctified aspiration. Hear me now. Hear me.

49:02 And I pray God the Holy Ghost will write it on your heart. You must not nourish even a twig. You do not have solid grounds to believe. Is a sucker going to know that?

49:37 Something about Jesus. And you come running home. Everybody talking about heaven going there as our black friends sing it. Lots of good theology in that.

49:52 You must determine. I'm feeling Twitter patient. I cannot. And those in this workplace are ready to tell.

50:25 No. When you get Twitter paid, that just comes out of the blue sometimes. The most irrational thing is getting your crushes. But you can feed them or starve them.

50:45 And I'm saying you starve it until you have biblical grounds to believe it's in your guts. If I'm too picky. I might be single forever. Or better to be a redeemed woman embracing your singleness to the glory of God and the advancement of the kingdom.

51:18 And spend the rest of your days repenting that you didn't listen to the old preacher this morning. And you thought you could be the exception. You could indulge your twinges of Twitter patient. You could handle it.

51:35 I know right now a daughter who's brought great delight to her pastor father's heart. Another part. Breaking her parents' hearts. Because she allowed herself to feed her Twitter patients an unproven commodity.

Exhortation to the Married: Feed Your Soul on Salvation

52:03 That's my exhortation to the unmarried. Now I have a specific exhortation to the married among us. You know the greatest secret to having a redeemed marriage? That when you put the mirror above your marriage and people look in that mirror they say, Ah, now I understand a little bit how Christ loves his child.

52:27 I see the way that man takes into account his wife's marriage. I see the way that man takes into account his wife's marriage. I see the way that man takes into account his wife's marriage. I see the way that man takes into account his wife's feelings.

52:32 His wife's desires. His wife's weaknesses and strengths. I see that he as is as solicitous for her well-being as he is for his own flesh. I see that he as is as solicitous for her well-being as he is for his own flesh.

52:36 When he nicks himself shaving, he puts the styptic pencil on. He's concerned. He doesn't hate his own flesh. He's as concerned when she's got a nick in her emotions.

52:40 When she's got a nick in her feelings, he's there to put the styptic pencil of his loving gentle words upon her. When she's got a nick in her feelings, he's there to put the styptic pencil of his loving gentle words upon her. When she's got a nick in her feelings, he's there to put the styptic pencil of his loving gentle words upon her. When he nicks himself shaving, he puts the styptic pencil on.

52:48 He's concerned. He doesn't hate his own flesh. He's as concerned when she's got a nick in her emotions. When she's got a nick in her feelings, he's there to put the styptic pencil of his loving, gentle words upon her.

53:01 I see a little bit of how Jesus must love his church.

53:08 I see that wife, even when it's plain, her husband has been insensitive and he's made a foolish decision. She doesn't demean him. She doesn't rail on him. She doesn't become like the dripping of a faucet.

53:21 No, no. She still reverences him. She still respects him. Speaks respectfully of him to the kids and to him, to his face.

53:29 I understand something of how the church, you want that to grow? Then the key is not reading a book on ten ways to spice up your marriage. The key is feed your soul upon this great salvation that you have in Christ. That's the key.

53:49 Paul assumes that it's...

53:53 ...of this marvelous salvation flowing like a conduit into the hearts of these husbands and wives that'll turn the turbines of their commitment to have a redeemed marriage.

54:05 It is these streams of gospel reality flowing through our hearts in power that furnish us to be redeemed husbands and redeemed wives. Then I want to say a word in closing to you who are unconverted.

Exhortation to the Unconverted: Flee to Christ for a Redeemed Life

54:25 Some of you children.

54:28 It's a valid... ...motive to go to Christ as a sinner

54:30 that you might not have to go to hell. I have some young people say, Pastor, I don't know if I've gone to Christ for the right motive. I'm just sprayed of hell. I say anything that gets you to Christ, to lay hold of Christ, and to embrace Christ, I don't care what it is.

54:44 So long as you leave all trust in yourself and turn from your sin and go to Christ, God's not fastidious about what gets you loose from your sin and drives you to His Son. So long as you get to His Son in the same way. Do you want the living hell...

54:59 ...of an unredeemed marriage, you young people who are not saved?

55:04 No, you've seen enough of marriages that are a real, not perfect, but a real mirror image of Christ in His church. And when you hear your friends in the world talk about the way their moms and dads treat one another, talk about one another, cheat on one another, speak demeaningly of one another, you say, no, I want what my mom and dad have. I want what those couples...

55:27 I see those old duffers in the church. They still hold hands, and the old guy's still got a glint in their eye when they look at their wives, and they've been married for 50 years.

55:37 I want that. You can't have it outside of Christ.

55:43 There were no other reason for you to go to Christ, go to Christ, that you don't enter in and have the living hell of a shattered, unredeemed marriage. The landscape is full of them. Don't join it. Don't join the lands.

55:57 Don't become more wreckage on the landscape.

56:01 You're between a rock and a hard place. You've seen enough of what a marriage...

56:05 What a marriage can be when the dynamics of redemptive grace enter it, and you see something lovely and attractive in it. You can't have it. No girl determined that she won't feed any Twitter patient toward you till you are proven commodity as a true Christian. She's not going to give you the time of the day.

56:25 And rightly so. She may find you very attractive,

56:30 very responsible, may own your own home, have a good job. But if you're not in Christ, she's not going to give you the time of the day. And rightly so. And you know what's available out there outside of Christ.

56:44 It isn't going to give you the kind of marriage you've seen in your mom and dad. And you're between a rock and a hard place, my friend. You're going to be there until you leave the ranks of the devil and his companions and flee to Christ and be joined to him and his people. I said what I wanted to say this morning.

Conclusion: The Foundation and Future Directives

57:08 Have you heard me?

57:11 What's the foundation? What is the foundation of a redeemed marriage? Nothing more, nothing less, than a real life-transforming participation in the salvation described by the Apostle Paul in the earlier part of this letter. Tonight, God willing, we're going to look at the superstructural elements, the prerequisites in the superstructure.

57:44 We're going to consider three of them. And God helping us with those in place, men will be ready to look at the directives and they will then seem so reasonable. Amen. And by the grace of God, really, albeit not perfectly, attainable in the grace of Christ.

58:04 We're so thankful that you've given us the scriptures and that you have made them a lamp to our feet and a light to our pathway. And Lord, you know, you know the burden that has been upon my heart in preparing these issues. And I feel that I've so inadequately conveyed the realities. God, take your truth.

58:36 Cause it. To come home with power to all of our hearts. We commit it to you for your safekeeping. In Jesus' name.

58:47 Amen.