The Woman of Proverbs 31 (#1)

Introduction to the Series and Proverbs 31

0:04 The following sermon was delivered on Sunday morning, August 25, 2002, at the Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey.

0:15 Now may I encourage you to turn with me to Proverbs chapter 31, the last chapter of the book of Proverbs, and I shall read the entire chapter, all 31 verses, without apology, Proverbs 31. Proverbs 31, the words of King Lemuel, the oracle which his mother taught him.

0:46 What, my son, O what son of my womb, and what, O son of my vows, give not your strength unto women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings? It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, nor for princes to say, Where is strong drink? Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the justice due to any that is afflicted. Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto the bitter in soul.

1:25 Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more. Open your mouth for the dumb, and the cause of all such as are left desolate. Open your mouth. Judge right.

1:40 And minister justice to the poor and needy.

1:47 A worthy woman who can find, for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he shall have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works willingly with her hands.

2:11 She is like mercy. She brings her bread from afar. She rises also while it is yet day, and gives food to her household, and their task to her maidens. She considers a field and buys it.

2:27 With the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard, girds her loins with strength and makes strong her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out by night. She lays her hands to the day.

2:44 to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She stretches out her hand to the poor. Yes, she reaches forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes for herself carpets or cushions of

3:05 tapestry. Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.

3:26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the law of kindness is in her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and eats not the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also, and he praises her, saying, Many daughters have done worthily, but you excel them all. Grace is deceitful, and beauty is vain.

3:52 But a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. Let us again ask the blessing and help of God as we come to the study of his word. Our Father, we have prayed that you would pour out of your spirit a cross.

4:17 The face of this poor, sin-cursed world. And now we pray that you would pour him forth upon us in this assembly as we come to the study of your word. May your spirit come upon your servant and upon your gathered people, that we may be conscious that we are not merely trafficking in ideas based on the Bible, but that we are having dealings with you, the God of the Bible. Hear us and answer us, we pray.

4:48 We come this morning to the final messages in the series that I have entitled In Praise and Defense of Marriage, Motherhood, and Homemaking. In the course of this series of 16 messages, I have attempted to view marriage, motherhood, and homemaking in the light of the biblical doctrines of creation, the fall, and redemption. And in doing this, I have expounded many of the major passages of the Old and the New Testaments

5:30 which explicitly address these vital God-ordained relationships and functions. And as I bring the series to a conclusion in these two final messages, what passage could be more appropriate in dealing with the subject, in praise and defense of marriage, motherhood, and homemaking? Then Proverbs 31, verses 10 through 31, a passage which exhorts us to the holy duty of praising a worthy wife, a worthy mother, and a worthy homemaker. And in the process of calling us to this

6:13 act of praise, gives us a description of the kind of character and activity in a wife and a homemaker which is worthy of praise. And in the process of calling us to this act of praise, gives us a description of the kind of character and activity in a wife and a homemaker which is worthy of such praise. This call to praise is not an indiscriminate call to praise any woman that has a ring on her finger, has expelled a child from her womb, and has a domicile that she calls her home. It is a call to praise wife and mother and homemaker who is worthy of such praise. And in giving us that call,

6:56 we are given the description, I say, of both the character traits and activities which are worthy of praise in such a wife, mother, and homemaker. And as we approach the passage this morning, let me first of all address what I'm calling a few introductory concerns. There are three of them, and having addressed those, then we will come to heading number one, and heading number two, and God willing, in our next message, heading number three. So this is really one sermon broken up into two parts because of the pressures of time. First of all, then, a few introductory concerns. And the first

Introductory Concerns: Author, Source, and Interpretation Principle

7:39 has to do with the human author of this portion of the Word of God. Who wrote this section in Proverbs that we will be considering this morning, and God willing, in our next study as well? Verse one answers the question.

7:56 Verse of King Lemuel, the oracle which his mother taught him. This verse informs us that these are the words of a king by the name of Lemuel. Who he was, we do not know for certain, any more than we know for certain, who the human author of chapter 30 is. The words of Agur, the son of Jaca. Who is Agur? Nobody knows for sure.

8:27 Who is Jaca? Nobody knows for sure. Who is King Lemuel? No one knows for sure. Now the name Lemuel in the Hebrew means devoted to God. And some speculate that this may be a literary device by which Solomon takes this additional name to himself to underscore that he was one devoted to God and that he is the author, but that's all conjecture. That's all we can say.

8:57 That's all we can say about the human author. It is King Lemuel. But now, the second thing I want you to know is something about the source and form of the content of this portion of the Word of God. Lemuel informs us that he is transcribing the instructions given to him by his mother, and that this instruction came in the form of an oracle.

9:25 Now what is an oracle? Well, basically an oracle is nothing more or less than an authoritative word from God. And so King Lemuel informs us that what he is about to write was an oracle, a word from God, but a word from God which had been taught him by his mother. Now whether he is saying that it came to him in precisely this form, and he is simply, as it were being the vehicle to transmit to others precisely what his mother transmitted to him or whether he has taken the substance of his mother's teaching

10:10 and has put it in this particular form it's irrelevant because this much we know what is before us is an oracle that is it is an inspired authoritative word of the living God so it does not matter whether we view it as the word of a woman or the word of a man that's a matter of no importance whatsoever now some make a deal out of the fact well this is a woman telling us about women therefore women should listen to it with greater attention that's nonsense any woman should listen to any word of God because it's the word of God whether it comes from a man or a woman any man ought to listen to any word that comes from God whether the instrument is male or female

10:55 if it is the word whether it is the word of God whether it is the word of God whether it is the word of the living God so though the human source was ultimately Lemuel's mother this that we have is an oracle it is a word from the living God and it was clear that Lemuel's godly mother knew that he was an heir to the throne and she is giving him specific instruction in his period of minority she is instructing him as to what will be appropriate for him when he ascends to the throne and assumes the responsibility of a king so she warns him about the abuse of alcohol

11:36 she warns him about insensitivity to the needy and to the marginalized and then she instructs him with respect to what he ought to look for in a wife that is not only worthy in herself virtuous in herself but one that will be worthy of being a king's wife and as she gives this instruction or as he passes it on to us it comes in the form of an acrostic now this is not evident in our English translations but if you only know the Hebrew alphabet and you take the Hebrew text you will notice that beginning in verse 10

12:19 all the way through verse 31 each new verse begins with a letter of the Hebrew alphabet Aleph, Beth, Gimel, Dalet, He, Bab, Zion right on through this was a teaching device in which the memory is jogged by the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet and I say most likely his mother passed on that instruction to him as a young man because this is a peculiarly helpful teaching device to children some of you use that and of course Maria used it in Sound of Music when she was teaching the children the names of the various notes in the scale Do, Re, Mi, Fa,

13:04 you remember? Do, a female, Dir, Re, a burst of light, a sun, etc, etc it's a teaching device so this passage of the word of God comes to us starting in verse 10 as this teaching either directly quoted as he remembered it given from his mother or as he takes the substance of that teaching and under the guidance of the Holy Spirit conveys it in this portion of the word of God so the human author is Lemuel the source and form of the content is Lemuel's mother and it comes in the form of acrostic instruction of a mother to her son

13:48 whom she knows will eventually sit on the throne as a king now the third thing to note and this is the most important by way of introduction the third thing to note in this passage is what I am calling a vital principle with regard to a proper understanding and application of this passage a vital principle with respect to a proper understanding and application of this passage and the principle is this the virtues of this ideal wife as described by Lemuel picked up and passed on from his mother the principle is this these virtues

14:33 of this wife mother and homemaker come to us dressed up clothed in the specific manifestation of a distinct cultural social and economic setting let me illustrate it in a very crass simple but I hope helpful way as I stand before you right now with just my undershirt and my dress shirt and tie regard this as an essential virtue alright now when I put on my jacket I am now clothed in my jacket and for the most part

15:16 I'm going to hide the virtue ok my shirt, my undershirt, my tie are the virtue hidden under my jacket now when we come to this passage there are a number of virtues in this woman but they are hidden under the jacket of a specific cultural social and economic setting and the mistake people often make is they say oh let's go out and get cloth that's just like her jacket her robe let's cut it the same way and then we will be virtuous no the responsibility we have

16:00 is to undress the virtue take off its specific cultural social and economic setting isolate the virtue and then say now Lord how do we clothe it with the cloth and the cut of our own cultural social and economic setting you follow me that's the responsibility not only of the expositor but of the ordinary believer for example look at verse 13 she seeks wool and flax that is

16:44 she goes out to hunt down the raw materials from which she will be able to spin wool threads and linen threads now if we are going to be virtuous women we believe the word of God this is what the Bible says how many of you women were out seeking wool and flax last week you non-virtuous unspiritual wretches don't you see a godly virtuous woman goes out and seeks wool and flax why didn't you seek wool and flax see alright move down verse 16 she considers a field and buys it and with the fruit of her hand she plants a vineyard plants a vineyard

17:28 how many of you women put down payment on a piece of real estate last week on virtuous wenches and you didn't plant a vineyard blame on you virtuous women plant vineyards and buy real estate that's what the Bible says that's what the Bible don't you dare don't you erode that's what the Bible says yes that is what the Bible says but the Bible is not a book of nonsense and we could go right through the passage you get the idea you get the principle am I are you computing absolutely critical dear people absolutely critical

18:11 that when Lemuel's mother says son this kind of woman you need to look for she does not isolate the virtues and say you should look for an industrious woman instead she says the woman you're looking for she's out hunting down wool and flax she's out tracking down a hunk of real estate and she's overseeing the beginning of a viniculture business she's planting a vineyard what's she telling him she's saying look for the virtue that makes her do what she does and when we are rightly to apply that to ourselves we must see what is the virtue hidden under the cloth

18:56 and the cut of the cultural social economic setting of a woman who's fit to be a king's wife and getting hold of that virtue then we must seek to dress it up in the cloth and the cut of the social economic and cultural setting in which God has placed now the Bible does this everywhere remember in the Sermon on the Mount when Jesus is teaching the principle of non-retaliation no eye for eye tooth for tooth what does he say when you are abused or taken advantage of submit to it peacefully he doesn't say that he says is somebody wacky under one cheek

19:40 turn the other somebody compels you to go one mile go two what's he saying well under Roman rule a Roman soldier could come along and conscript anyone to take his duffel bag for a mile and he said rather than pull a face and get upset you say yes sir soldier I'll take it two miles where are you going you see Jesus clothes the principle in the concrete and we are to strip away the external specific cultural manifestation get hold of the principle and then lay it to heart for the circumstances in which God has placed us so those three introductory matters are crucial particularly this third as we come to the passage now then coming to the passage I want us to take if time permits this morning and consider the foundational virtue

The Foundational Virtue: The Fear of Jehovah

20:25 of this worthy wife mother and homemaker and then secondly the fundamental orientation of this worthy orientation of this worthy or virtuous wife mother and homemaker first of all then the foundational virtue of this worthy wife mother and homemaker the passage begins in verse ten with the rhetorical question a worthy or virtuous woman who can find Lemuel's mother wants him to know that this is a rare commodity they aren't there by the fistfuls Lemuel

21:09 worthy woman who can find rhetorical question then she makes an assertion with a simile for her price is far above rupees she is of great worth she's like a rare jewel or fistful of jewels then she goes on to begin to describe what this worthy woman looks like in terms of what she does and after describing a host of virtues fleshed out in concrete manifestations it is not until the second to the last verse that the root virtue

21:54 is laid bare and clearly identified and what is that root virtue of which everything else is the fruit you remember what Jesus said make the tree good and it's fruit good fruit well in this passage we have all kinds of fruit described from verse eleven all the way down to verse twenty nine but only in verse thirty is the root laid bare that causes this kind of fruit to be born verse thirty grace is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman that fears

22:38 Jehovah she shall be praised and here Lemuel echoing his mother's instruction identifies the foundational virtue of this worthy woman and it is here given to us in these simple words she fears Jehovah now what does this mean she fears Jehovah well I'm not going to give you a topical study on the fear of the Lord and turn you to dozens of verses that are on target and I stand in company with many of God's servants who have written

23:22 on the subject and have sought to elucidate it and illustrate it to God's people when I say that the fear of the Lord is code language it is condensed language to describe a true saving relationship to the God of the covenant that God of grace and mercy and when someone has come into a true and saving relationship to the God of the covenant to Jehovah he or she comes into the orbit of a life lived in the fear of God in which out of gratitude to that God of grace and mercy

24:07 pleasing him is one's greatest passion and pursuit and pleasing him is one's greatest dread and aversion that's the fear of God earlier in the book of Proverbs we are told be thou in the fear of God all the day long live your life with this overarching perspective God's smile and approbation is my greatest passion delight and desire God's greatest fear and my greatest aversion and when

24:51 we see this woman as she is described in Proverbs 31 in all the multitude of the activities which remember are clothing specific virtues that are as it were hidden underneath and driving her to these activities the root before the face of her God there is nothing that she does in the full scope of her activities as wife mother and home maker that is detached from her covenant

25:36 relationship to Jehovah there is nothing that is detached from the eye of God the will day before the face of God hence while a surface reading of the description of this virtuous woman without this foundation might leave us with the impression that she was a hyper active multi talented super powerful woman and she

26:21 is engaged in this description her strength her perspective all of this comes under the canopy she fears Jehovah she knows her place as a sinner in need of Jehovah's mercy she knows her place as a creature in need of Jehovah's upholding God she is a woman of prayer she is a woman of faith she is a woman of a tender conscience that is the root of all

27:05 that she is that is virtuous and praiseworthy she fears the Lord now let me say by way of application to you you are missing the chief part of wisdom Proverbs 1 and verse 7 the fear of the Lord is the chief part of wisdom if you have never come to take your posture before the living

27:49 God of heaven and the kingdom of God because you have never come to worship God and you have never come to worship God and you have never come to worship God and every facet of life with the living God as the fundamental referent. She fears the Lord. You dear wives, mothers, and homemakers,

28:34 your greatest need is not only to know the fear of God fundamentally, but to cultivate and to grow in the fear of God. That's your greatest need. That means amidst all your activities, you've got to make time to read your Bible. Amidst all the pressures, you've got to make time.

29:02 Amidst all of the crosswinds of people's lives that touch yours and pressure you, you've got to maintain a tender, blood-washed conscience.

29:15 Would you have the fruit of this woman making you worthy of praise as wife, mother, homemaker? Then you must nurture the root. There's no great secret, dear women. The root must be nurtured. It must

29:30 be nurtured. You must be in the fear of God all the day long. If you are to be this kind of a woman, then that foundational, that fundamental, that root grace must flourish within your soul. You must live in the fear of God. A word to you

29:53 single women and girls. What is the most important preparation you can make in order to become a virtuous and worthy wife? Mother and homemaker?

30:05 Is it to learn how to put on your eyeshadow and your lipstick? Is it to spend your time learning how to be cutesy and flirty with the guys? Is it to see if you can somehow push the envelope of your parents' standards and at least look like first cousin twice removed to Britney Spears and go around and sport your belly button?

30:32 Is that your need? No.

30:37 Closer to home and more a temptation to some of you. What is your great need? If you are to be adequately prepared, to be a virtuous wife, mother and homemaker, is it you ace all your courses? Make it easy to get a full academic scholarship into a good college?

30:58 No. Your greatest need is to cultivate the fear of God. The fear of God. You will not be as wife, mother and homemaker what you are not now as a single woman.

31:15 Cultivate the fear of God. Be determined that in every facet of my life, the most important factor,

31:26 my savior, the word of God, the will of God, anyone who wants to detach me from living in the fear of God is no friend of mine. All the gals when they gather for the lunch break, want to talk about all their latest boyfriends and want to talk about the latest videos and talk about their latest CCM groups, you just say sorry girls, my interests lie elsewhere. Be ready to be labeled.

31:58 Whatever labels or the in labels, I can't keep up with them. If I use the old ones, you'll think I'm not with it. So I'll say, you put them in your head. You learn the fear of God.

32:09 That's the most important thing. And listen, any mama and any daddy that's teaching his or her son what to look for in a young woman who will become a virtuous wife, mother and homemaker, that's what he's going to look for above all else. He's not going to look to see, oh man, she gets her eye shadow on perfectly. She even puts a few sparkles.

32:39 Oh boy, she really knows how to dress.

32:49 No, he'll put up the sloppy makeup. You can always correct that.

32:56 He'll put up with a little less than sartorial perfection. That's just a big word for saying you ain't quite certain how to put the right colors together in the right way. But if he sees in every relationship you fear God, you're going to turn him on. He's going to say, that's the kind of woman I'm going after.

33:18 She's got the root. And on that we'll grow all the other fruits.

33:24 You hear me, young ladies? You get what you fish for. You want to fish for the guy that's looking for the sharp dresser and the pretty face? Then that's what you cultivate above all else. You be a sharp

33:39 dresser and a pretty face, and you get the guy to whom that's the most important thing. And then you've got to live with him, and he's got to live with you. Here is the foundational virtue. She that fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Now then, we

The Fundamental Orientation: Husband and Household

33:57 come secondly, and we are going to have time to address it. What is the fundamental orientation of this worthy wife, mother, and homemaker? When we read this passage, we can't help but be struck by all the things this woman does which take her outside the walls of her home. And yet she's praised as a virtuous woman.

34:25 As I've gone through the passage,

34:28 I see at least seven things are described of this virtuous woman that take her outside her four walls. And sometimes outside her four walls for a considerable amount of time. And for a considerable expenditure of mental energy and of capital. Let's look at them. She's out

34:51 tracking down raw materials for making cloth. Verse 13. She's seeks wool and flax. The indication is there just isn't a wool and flax store around the corner. She's out

35:04 tracking it down. She wants to get a good bargain on real good raw materials out of which she's going to make her thread from which she will weave and create the clothing etc. for her household. She's seeking wool and flax. Secondly, she's

35:24 out and abroad like merchant ships that travel in order to acquire food at a good price. Verse 14. She is like merchant ships. She brings her bread from afar. Now let me ask you

35:39 what image is conjured up? When you see a ship coming into port and someone says, what's that ship? A warship? No, no, no. That's a merchant ship.

35:50 Oh, they've been three miles up the coast? No, no. Merchant ships don't travel three miles up the coast to get a load in their hold. They travel long distances. Huh? I didn't

36:02 write this. The Holy Ghost did. And it says, this woman is one that like merchant ships. She brings her bread from afar. She makes trips

36:14 to get good bargains and comes back with a bunch of wholesale stuff to feed her household. But she's outside the home. No. She's a virtuous woman.

36:30 Virtuous woman. She's out tracking down raw materials for making cloth. She's out abroad like a merchant ship traveling to acquire food at a good price. Thirdly, she's out scouting real estate deals.

36:43 Verse 16. She considers a field.

36:48 She doesn't go out between breakfast and her hubby coming home for lunch and seeing the first field and say, oh boy, I'm good. No, no. She considers a field. She's out. Visits once.

37:01 Twice. Maybe talks with the owner. Dickers about the price. She considers a field and buys it. Furthermore, 16b.

37:12 She's not only out scouting real estate deals. She's out overseeing the beginning of a winery. She's out overseeing the beginning of a winery. With the fruit of her hands, some of the capital she's gained from aspects of her home enterprises, she plants a vineyard. Now, I don't think

37:34 we're to read into that that she actually went out and with her hands dug up the ground and she went and got the slips and actually put them in the ground. But she oversees the beginning of a vineyard. What do you have a vineyard for? In those days, you had a vineyard because you wanted to make wine.

37:49 So she is somehow knowledgeable about viniculture, which is a very delicate field of agricultural endeavor. So somewhere she tracked down the knowledge to make her a good viniculturalist and she knows enough to know how the vineyard should be planted and apparently, probably engaging some of her house servants, she plants a vineyard. Fifthly, here I laughed out loud sitting at my desk last night. I laughed out loud in the light of the Sunday school lesson on the care of our bodies.

38:26 Look at verse 17. And some of the translations are so weak. I'm not a Hebraist, but I know how to use my concordances and track down the meaning of words and they just don't like the bluntness of this. She girds her loins, not herself.

38:42 It's the standard word for her loins, her midsection. She girds her loins with strength and makes stronger arms. I put in parenthesis, she's out to a women's health club doing sit-ups and pumping iron.

38:56 Makes her loins midsection strong. And she makes her arms strong. How she did it, I don't know. So that's a parenthesis. And then we

39:10 come to number six. She's out seeking for, and ministering to the poor. Verse 20. She stretches out her hand to the poor and she reaches forth her hands to the needy.

39:22 You don't get the impression they're coming to her house. She's seeking them out. And she's going to them with stuff that will be appropriate to their needs. And then seven. She's a garment

39:35 manufacturer and delivery woman. Verse 24. She makes linen garments and sells them. And notice, delivers sashes to the merchant.

39:47 She delivers them. There that woman is again. Out of her home. Naughty, naughty, naughty.

39:55 Naughty, naughty. No, no, not naughty. She's praiseworthy. Now you look at those activities that take her outside the walls of her home. And some would say,

40:08 aha, surely this woman is the prototype and divine validation of the feminist claim that the woman is truly fulfilled. A woman is the fulfilled woman that has it all. She is not allowed marriage, motherhood and homemaking to define her, to imprison her, to be essential to her self-esteem. Look at this woman. She's got all

40:34 of the identity that comes with a successful businesswoman, independence from her husband, from her kids, from the dirt in her floor, in the kitchen, in the rest. She is a woman that's got it all. However, no honest reading of the whole passage supports this nonsense. The passage that describes many of her virtues in terms of activities and enterprises carried on outside her four walls make it unmistakably clear that there are two characteristics that bind all of these activities together and make it evident that she is indeed walking

41:18 in the fear of God. And what are those two characteristics that bind them all together and constitute what I am calling the fundamental orientation of this virtuous woman? Here they are. I'll name them then we'll demonstrate them.

41:35 She is joyfully and unashamedly identified with her husband in all that she is and does. And secondly, she is passionately, energetically, and unashamedly committed to the material and spiritual prosperity of her household. The fundamental orientation of this woman's activities, even those many that take her outside to home, is her husband, her kids, and her household. Now let's demonstrate that.

Demonstrating Identification with Husband

42:12 First of all, she is joyfully and unashamedly identified with her husband in all that she is and does. The first thing mentioned, after the introductory question and assertion in verse 10, a worthy woman who can find her price is far above rubies. What's the first thing mentioned in the next two verses? The heart of her husband trusts in her.

42:37 And notice, he shall have no lack of gain.

42:43 She is to be a helper answering to his need as a wife. And he shall have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. All that she does and all that she is has this unashamed identification with her husband.

43:10 She is willing that her virtues be described under the shadow of her husband. Not some independent, detached superwoman who has been liberated from the shadow of her husband, her kids, and her home, but who gladly is identified in all that she does as one who is so laboring that he shall have no lack of gain that she may do him good and not evil all the days of her life. And then notice verses 23 and 31. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the

43:53 land. This apparently refers to a custom where the leaders in the community would gather at the city gates. And that's where the men would discuss the affairs of the city and the great affairs of state, etc. And this text tells us that when these leading men gather at the gates of the city, her husband is known in the gates.

44:18 Known for what?

44:21 Does it mean they just recognize him? Oh yeah, here comes John, John Abraham. Hey, hey, John, how you doing? No, no, it's talking in the context. It has to do

44:31 with this virtuous woman. And in the light of who she is and what she does, her husband has gained a reputation among the leading men of the city. And this is further explained in verse 31. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her where?

44:53 In the gates. There's the connection. Give her of the fruit of her hands, let her works, what she is and does, praise her in the gates. And when her works are praising her in the gates, her husband is known. You see,

45:12 what she is and what she does is recognized as inextricably identified with her husband, for whom she does good and not evil. Oh, the days of her life. She's joyfully, unashamedly identified with her husband in all that she is and in all that she does. And then secondly, she is passionately, energetically, and unashamedly committed to the materials and spiritual prosperity of her household.

Demonstrating Commitment to Household Prosperity

45:53 Look at verse 15. She rises while it's yet night and gives food to her household and their task to her maidens. She has some female servants. Remember the social economic standing of this woman. She's the wife,

46:12 she's going to be the wife of a king. She comes from the upper class. There were house servants and she is found doing this kind of work. Look at verse 19. She lays

46:23 her hands to the distaff and her hands hold the spindle. You know what the distaff and the spindle are. The distaff is that piece of wood on which the raw wool is immediately put and then when it is twisted and becomes thread, it is put on the spindle. So the woman had the distaff in one hand.

46:43 My dictionary has a nice little picture. It shows a woman with the distaff in, I think, her right hand and the spindle in her left. She's willing to do the grunt work. I mean, any old housemaid and house servant hold the spindle and the distaff.

46:58 She's not, it's not beneath her dignity to do the grunt work. She holds the distaff and the spindle. And furthermore, look at verse 24.

47:12 She makes linen garments. She turns the flax into thread, turns the thread into cloth, and from the cloth she makes linen garments. She's not beneath this common labor of making the garments, as well as the enterprising salesperson and sells them and the delivery girl and delivers the sashes unto the merchants. So she is clearly one who is passionately, energetically, and unashamedly committed to the material prosperity of her household. She plans

47:54 and provides adequate seasonal clothing for her children and her servants. Verse 21. She isn't afraid of the snow for her household. Winter's coming. She doesn't bother me.

48:04 I've planned ahead, and adequate clothing has already been provided for the whole household. But then we see her meeting the spiritual needs of her household. Verse 26. She's a wise and gracious instructor of her house. She opens her mouth

48:23 with wisdom. And the law of kindness is on.

48:30 Opens her mouth with wisdom. Because she fears God. She meditates in the law of God. She is learning how to bring all of life through the grid of the words of God and the mind of God. So when she

48:44 opens her mouth to give instruction to her children, it's divine wisdom. She opens her mouth with wisdom. And the law of kindness, or the teaching of kindness, is on her tongue. She speaks with wisdom.

49:02 And with grace to her household. And what is the summary statement? Verse 27. It demonstrates she's passionately, energetically, unashamedly committed to the material and spiritual prosperity of her household. Look at verse

49:18 27. She looks well to the ways of her household. She looks well. She looks. She ponders.

49:30 She sits and thinks. You'd think that this woman was one rush of frenetic activity running from this to this to this to this to this. No, no! Whether it was in the wee hours of the morning or the late hours of the night when the servants had gone to their quarters and the kids to their bed.

49:47 She ponders and thinks and contemplates the condition of each one in the household. She looks well, notice, to the ways of her household. To all the patterns of life that unfold in the lives of those within her household. The practical, material concerns of the household. The development

50:10 and needs of the children in the household. The needs of the servants. She looks well to the ways. All the ways of her household. She is

50:23 gripped with a sanctified obsession. Passionately, energetically, unashamedly committed to the material and spiritual prosperity of her household. She is the Old Testament counterpart of what we studied a week ago. I will that the younger widows marry.

50:47 Rule the household. That's what she does. That's what she does. And this is why it says in 27b, she doesn't eat the bread of idleness.

50:59 You're going to do that? You can't be idle. You've got to be industrious. You've got to be energetic.

51:05 You've got to give yourself to the multi-dimensioned, task that is assigned to you as a wife, a mother, and a homemaker. So, we not only discover the foundational virtue of this virtuous, praiseworthy wife, mother, and homemaker. She fears the Lord, but the fundamental orientation of this virtuous woman is her husband and her household. Now, by application, I want to make two very pointed applications, and I trust you'll hear me as I often or frequently, or periodically say, I hope you're going to hear me with three years. The first one is this.

Application: Exposing the Lie of Feminism

51:48 This passage exposes the fundamental lie of feminism. This passage exposes the fundamental lie of feminism.

52:01 What is that lie? It is this. It says to you women, to you girls, you can only be fulfilled if you pursue your self-identity. Identity and self-fulfillment in detachment from a primary orientation to a husband, to children, and to homemaking.

52:25 That's the fundamental lie of feminism. You can only come to self- actualization, to a satisfying awareness of who you are, and all you're meant to be. If I may use the in phrase, which I abominate, but it's used. How do you come there? Only if

52:47 you detach yourself from a primary orientation to a husband, to children, and to homemaking. And it's that lie that has produced such a spate of lesbianism among aggressive articulate feminists. Because it's only, you see, when you so detach yourself from orientation to a male, and find your full sexual expression on your own, how you want in autoeroticism, or in lesbian relations, that you're free. It's not an accident that they write books to tell you how to cultivate and develop lesbian relationships, and how to reach the heights

53:31 of self-pleasure in autoeroticism. I'm trying to be careful in the language I use. I am not barking up a tree that doesn't exist. That's the lie of feminism.

53:45 You must get out from under the shadow of a man, and see yourself in the full light of your personhood, utterly detached from the shadow of a man. And you must see yourself in terms of your true identity and purpose, without any reference to what happens with your womb. And surely, since you have as much intelligence as a man, why should you be doing grunt work, washing dishes, scrubbing floors, when you can be in the corporate office calling the shots? So, if you're a man, marry, don't change your name.

54:24 Where did all that come from? See, to change your name, take the man's name, is to say my identity from henceforth is bound up in him. You see, there's reasons behind this, folks. This stuff didn't just happen.

54:38 When a woman takes a man's name, she's making a statement of the very essence and nature of marriage from henceforth. I am one flesh with him. I take his name. I take his government, his rule, his protection.

54:53 This is why I told no disruption of your career. If you want to get married, you pursue an independent, parallel career to your husband. If you have a baby, pop it out, and in less than eight weeks, or no more than eight weeks, you'll be back in the office, back in the boardroom. Put him out to be cared for in the daycare center. Have no dependence

55:17 upon your husband as provider.

55:22 There's a reason why no-fault divorce has become the in-thing in the last 20 years. Do you know what lies behind that? Feminism. Don't have time to go into all of the ways it has worked itself out, but that's the reality.

55:44 Verse 25. What does this passage do in exposing the lie of feminism? Here's what it says. Strength and dignity are this woman's clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.

56:00 When she finds her identity in her God-given role as wife and mother and homemaker, strength and dignity are her clothing. She carries herself with noble, moral, psychological, mental and emotional strength and dignity. Now I say again, remember the caveat at the beginning of the series, that does not mean if singleness is your lot, you cannot carry yourself with strength and dignity, no. But it's talking about this woman, this noble woman, who is wife, mother, and homemaker.

56:41 She carries herself with strength and dignity. They are her very clothing. And she laughs at the time to come. She is so secure in the blessings of her role. She's not nervous

56:55 about what's happening. I'm coming up on age 40, and I've been told that I could have it all, and I've pursued my career, and yet the yearning to nurture and to have a child is there. I go back to Mary Crittenton's, Danielle Crittenton's book, and she describes a whole generation of women who've bought the feminist lie. And they are not laughing at the time to come.

57:18 They are cursing the time to come. Their childbearing years have passed them. The men they all lived with in noncommittal relationships, they're now chasing spirits half their age. And the crow's feet have come, and they've lost their powerful sexual attraction, and they're being left and dropped like junk. And there are

57:39 women sitting here who laugh at the time to come. Why? I have a husband who's shadow is over me, who still is beloved. Am I right?

57:52 Rise up, and by the grace of God, call me blessed. This passage exposes the fundamental lie of feminism. But secondly, and I want you moms and dads to hear me carefully. I know I may be treading on some toes, but I've got to go where my Bible takes me.

Application: Reconsidering Truncated Preparation for Daughters

58:14 This passage exposes, and here I'm going to look at my notes, because I want to, every word is, I've chosen carefully. This passage exposes, exposes the sincere but misguided notion of the desirability of a truncated preparation of our daughters for their role as wife, mother, and homemaker. This passage exposes the sincere but misguided notion of the desirability of a truncated preparation of our daughters for their role as wife, mother, and homemaker.

58:59 Now what's that mouthful of words mean? Just this. There is a growing number of parents in their reaction against secularism, including feminism, have said, no way that my daughter is going to be sucked in to the orbit of feminism, and think that her life should be oriented to career, and to a life outside the home, etc. Therefore, since she can function with a secondary education, once she has that, I'm not going to encourage any further education at a higher level.

59:34 I'm not going to encourage college, university, etc. Why? Because it has no relevance to what we've raised her to be. A wife, a mother, and a homemaker.

59:48 This is what I call a sincere but I believe misguided notion of the desirability of this truncated preparation of our daughters for their role as wife, mother, and homemaker. Look at this woman of Proverbs 31. She's out in the marketplace driving bargains for raw materials such as wool and flax. She knows the real estate market and is able to dicker with real estate agents for the benefit of her household finances. She has knowledge

60:20 of viniculture and can oversee the planting of a vineyard. And the starting of a winery. She carries on business in the manufacturing and selling of sashes and designer garments and general household management. This woman, I tell you, was a capable gal. And in

60:45 acquiring that capability, we don't know where she got it all. Remember, we've got to put this stuff in our cultural, our sociological and economic setting. I believe with all my heart that any knowledge and skill that a woman can acquire before she is married will find ample use as being a good investment when she becomes a wife and a mother and a homemaker. And furthermore, if God does not have marriage for that girl, what's she going to do? Is she going to be stuck

61:24 as a clerk at Target for the rest of her life? I'm not talking to theoretically. Is she going to be stuck behind a cash register at Foodtown or ShopRite? Have no career track in which she can exercise to the glory of God, to the benefit of His church and His kingdom in a significant way in which there is a sense of true biblical self-respect and dignity that what God has given me, I have honed and cultivated and developed for usefulness.

62:06 I believe it is a sincere but misguided notion of the desirability of a truncated preparation of our daughters for their role as wife, mother, and homemaker. Now at the end of the day, each parent will answer to God for what he or she does with his daughters. I know that, and I am determined that I will not stand in judgment upon any of you, but I certainly have a right in preaching the word when there are legitimate applications that to me stand on the surface. I have the responsibility to make them and leave with you to wrestle out the implications before God.

62:45 There is no acquisition of knowledge, skill, or experience that is wasted in a virtuous woman. When she acquires them with this end in view, my acquisitions are not to detach me and deter me from the desire to be wife, mother, and homemaker within which I will exercise whatever acquisitions I have to the full. However, should God not have marriage for me, these acquisitions are part of the stewardship of the mind and the talents that God has given me, that I might take my two talents and with it bring back two more. For remember, the person who had

63:30 but one and buried it was called what? Wicked and slothful.

63:39 Are given to work them. To invest them. To market with them. And so I plead with any of you parents who have either adopted or are flirting with adopting this sincere but misguided notion of the desirability of a truncated preparation of your daughters for their role as wife, mother, and homemaker to reconsider.

64:04 Oh, I know. I know. I want to put a wall around them. Sooner or later, they've got to stand.

64:15 Sooner or later, they've got to face the issue. Am I prepared to be identified with the Lord Jesus, no matter what the cost? Are you God to know that at age 19, your daughter will be ready to be married?

64:31 And that God will bring a godly man? Are you calling the shots? I'm talking to you fathers. I don't want my daughters!

64:39 Yeah, I'm sure you don't. I had occasion in the last couple of weeks to talk to a couple of the pappies here. I said, you know, it's a traumatic thing when all your life, as a good father, you put a protective wall around your daughter. You spill blood to protect her physically, morally, spiritually.

64:56 And they're getting to that age where somebody, if God has marriage for them, somebody's going to poke a hole in that wall. And they're going to reach in and take your daughter and get her wedded and bedded. And the thought of it sends terror down your soul as a father. No, no, not my daughter.

65:16 I'm going to keep her. No, no. You can't do it. Sooner or later, those daughters have got to prove that your God is their God. And if some of that

65:28 testing comes in a guided, guarded structure of higher education, then so be it. But I urge you not to think in a narrow, truncated way that 25 years from now, you see one of your single daughters stuck at the cash register at Target. You may have a guilty conscience. Well, God willing, next week, we want to look at the cardinal virtues of this virtuous woman.

Conclusion: The Fear of God and the New Covenant

66:00 We want to take the jacket off these specific things and see what is the virtue underneath her seeking out woolen flax. What's the virtue underneath this matter of her holding the distaff and the spindle? What's the virtue underneath her stretching out her hand to the poor and reaching forth her hands to the needy? But I say as we close this morning, I go back to the foundational, the fundamental virtue.

66:31 Of this woman, she feared God. She came to the fear of God with the shadowy light of old covenant revelation. We come to it with all the full blazing light of the new covenant revelation in Christ. And one of the promises of the new covenant that God gives in connection with the coming of Christ and the shedding of His blood and the descent of the Spirit, God says, I will put my fear in their hearts that they shall not depart from Him.

67:02 It's when you stand before a crucified Savior and realize that the God of Heaven so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son and that He hangs there because of sin, your sin, my sin, and that in His vicarious death, Almighty God's wrath is placated and turned aside, and your heart embraces the wonder of divine love in Christ. You then begin to know the fear of God. This God's God now becomes the object, not only of your trust, but your love. And loving Him and trusting Him, the most important thing in life will be His smile.

67:44 Your greatest dread will be His trial. So I plead with you, if you're devoid of that foundational virtue, be you man or woman, go to the only place where it can be obtained, and that is in the face of a crucified Savior. Our Father, we thank You for Your Word. We are so grateful again that we are not left to our own imaginations.

68:17 And we pray that You will take Your Word and write it upon all of our hearts, especially upon the hearts of the young women, upon the women who are married, upon the single women among us, upon us as men, that we will help to guide the consciences of our wives and our daughters. O Lord, we pray that in this turbulent, turbulent sea of aggressive feminism, that our minds will be tethered to Your Word. Keep us from extremes that would bring discredit to Your Word and would undermine the very things we are pursuing.