The Woman of Proverbs 31 (#2)

Introduction: Review of Proverbs 31 and Foundational Virtues

0:03 The following sermon was delivered on Sunday morning, September 1st, 2002, at the Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey.

0:14 Now let's turn in our Bibles to Proverbs chapter 31, Proverbs chapter 31.

0:25 I shall read verse 1 and then verses 10 through 31.

0:32 Proverbs 31, verse 1. The words of King Lemuel, the oracle which his mother taught him. Verse 10. A worthy woman who can find, for her price is far above rubies.

0:51 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he shall have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks woes. She does evil and flax, and works willingly with her hands.

1:09 She is like the merchant ships. She brings her bread from afar. She rises also while it is yet night, and gives food to her household and their task to her maidens. She considers a field and buys it.

1:25 With the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She girds her loins with strength and makes strong her arms. She perceives. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.

1:38 Her lamp does not go out by night. She lays her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She stretches out her hand to the poor. Yes, she reaches forth her hands to the needy.

1:54 She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes for herself carpets or cushions of clothes. She is not afraid of the tapestry. Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

2:09 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the law of kindness is on her tongue.

2:34 She looks well to the ways of the world. She knows the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also, and he praises her, saying, Many daughters have done worthily, but you excel them all.

2:53 Grace is deceitful, and beauty is vain. But a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. This Lord's Day finds us in the midst of a series entitled In Praise and Defense of Marriage, Motherhood, and Homemaking.

3:25 We have spent a number of weeks considering the matters of marriage, motherhood, and homemaking in the light of the biblical doctrines of creation, the fall, and redemption. And as a capstone of our consideration of God's picture of a redeemed and godly wife, mother, and homemaker, we are considering the teaching of Proverbs 31, verses 10 through 31. Last Lord's Day, in our initial study of this passage, I set before you first of all what I call three introductory matters. Number one, we considered who the human author of this passage was.

4:08 It was Lemuel, whose name means devoted to God, but whose identity is utterly unknown to us. But the human author is but an instrument of God to give us what is called in verse 1, the oracle, that is, a word from God. And then we noted, secondly, the source and form of the content of this passage. Lemuel unashamedly acknowledges that this oracle is one which his mother taught him, that this man was a prince, and his mother, knowing that he was going to have kingly responsibilities, for that is very, very clear in the early verses, the man who is now king and writes these words was once a prince under the tutelage of his mother as well as his father, but it was his mother in a very unique way who instructed him with respect to what he ought to look for in a worthy wife. And the form, as I mentioned, in the Hebrew, is that of an acrostic. Each of the verses, from verse 10 to 31, begins with a specific letter in the Hebrew alphabet, starting with Aleph and moving on to Beth, Gimel, Dalet, right through to the final letter, Teth, in the Hebrew alphabet. And then thirdly, and most importantly by way of introduction,

5:37 I said before you what I called a vital principle with respect to a proper understanding and application of this passage. And the principle is this, that the virtues of this woman are presented, dressed up, in the manifestation of a specific cultural, social, and economic setting consistent with this woman's position and her particular gifts and divine endowments. As God so often does, rather than isolate a virtue and state it in abstraction, God clothes the virtue in particular manifestations of that virtue, and our responsibility is to undress the virtue from its particular social, economic, and cultural manifestation and isolate the virtue, and then to extrapolate how will that virtue be manifested in our particular social, economic, and cultural manifestation. And that virtue is consistent with our particular personal endowment of gift and strength and opportunity, etc. And we greatly urge, if we try to reproduce this woman in a one-to-one parallel, we will go back into a cultural setting perfectly or completely foreign to us, and here we come back to this other principle that I try to articulate again and again.

7:06 Grace does not war with nature, only with sin. And what grace will do, if we take seriously this passage, grace will enable us, by the illuminating ministry of the Spirit, to identify the virtue, and having seen the virtue, wisely to clothe it in our own cultural, economic, social setting in a manner consistent with our own particular gifts and divine endowments. Then I proceeded to set before you the teaching of the passage under two headings. Number one, we looked at what I call the foundational virtue of this woman worthy of praise as a wife, a mother, and a homemaker. She is not praised simply because she is a wife, and a mother, and a homemaker. She is praised because she is worthy of praise, and the foundational virtue, which makes her such a woman, is that virtue identified at the end of the passage, grace is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised. And it was her fear of God that was the taproot of all the other virtues.

8:26 That saving relationship to the God of covenant grace, promise, and mercy that produces in all who come into that relationship this mindset in which the smile of God is our greatest desire and delight, and His frown our greatest dread and aversion. The root of what this woman was, was that she feared the Lord. Take this away, and everything else becomes a vapid moralism. Nothing more, nothing less.

9:02 Jesus said, Make the tree good, and its fruit good. An evil tree cannot bring forth good fruit. And it is only when, as a woman, you stand in spiritual experience with this woman, with the fear of the Lord, that fear of the Lord rooted in gospel realities, that fear of the Lord that is the accompaniment of a saving relationship to God in Jesus Christ, that you can begin to manifest these other virtues that all draw their life and their sustenance from this fundamental, this foundational virtue, her fear of God. Then secondly, we looked at what I call the fundamental orientation or focus of this woman worthy of praise in her role as a wife, a mother, and a homemaker. We saw that there were many talents and abilities and activities which took this woman out of her home, sometimes for relatively lengthy periods of time. We looked at six or seven of them in the passage.

10:20 However, she was not out of the home in these endeavors for the promotion of an independent career in order to attain maximum self-actualization and self-esteem. That's the mantra of the feminist. If any woman is to really come to a sense of self-actualization and true self-esteem, she must see herself in terms of her abilities and capacities in the workplace away from the home. Without that, she will have no true sense of her worth.

10:54 No, this woman was not out doing what she was doing because she was seeking an independent career in order to attain maximum self-actualization and self-esteem, nor was she out of the home in pursuit of the attainment of financial independence in order to secure self-protection. That's the present passion as well in the feminist agenda. You can't count on men to be committed for a lifetime. You shouldn't make a commitment for a lifetime.

11:25 Therefore, if you're going to be financially independent when the divorce comes, and it's going to be a no-fault divorce, you see, no longer the concept of alimony, then, you see, you've got to have your independent career. This woman was not driven by that nonsense. Nor was the driving passion to fulfill economic necessities brought on by an inordinate passion to have things. She's not doing the things she does outside the home in order to feed an inordinate passion to have stuff, living beyond the means of her husband and then having to cover her tracks by these duties outside the home. No. We saw that the fundamental orientation or focus of this woman as wife, mother, and homemaker, even with respect to those activities that took her out of the home, was a two-fold orientation. Number one, she was joyfully and unashamedly identified with her husband in all that she is and does.

12:41 Key text, verses 11 and 12. And she is passionately and energetically committed to the priority of the material and spiritual prosperity of her household and others. And here, the texts are so many, I won't pause to cite them. And then I made two final applications.

13:02 One in which I sought to expose from that exposition the fundamental lie of feminism and then secondly, the misguided notion of some sincere Christians with regard to their daughters. Now having looked at the foundational virtue of this praiseworthy wife, mother, and homemaker, the fundamental orientation or focus of this praiseworthy woman or this praiseworthy wife, mother, and homemaker, we come this morning to consider thirdly the dominant virtues of this praiseworthy wife, mother, and homemaker. The dominant virtues. And remember what we're doing.

Dominant Virtue 1: Godly Stability and Trustworthy Character

13:44 We're trying to discover the virtue that is clothed with a particular cultural, social, personal manifestation. And here, as time permits, I want to fly over seven of those dominant virtues that are in the passage. Number one. She possesses the virtue of a godly stability and trustworthy character.

14:09 She possesses the virtue of a godly stability and trustworthiness of character. Look at verses 11 and 12. After the rhetorical question of verse 10a and then the assertion in this beautiful imagery, that she's worth far more than a cumulated pile of precious jewels, Lemuel writes, the heart of her husband trusts in her and he shall have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. You see the virtue that is being highlighted? The virtue that is being highlighted is the one that enables her husband to trust in her and to be confident in her. And that virtue is that of a trustworthy character.

15:17 What she is on any given day, she is in all of her days. Luther said of his Katie, quote, The greatest gift of God is a pious, amiable spouse who fears God, loves his house, and with whom he can live in perfect confidence. Luther says, The greatest gift of God is a trustworthy wife. Proverbs 25, 19 sets forth the contrast.

15:56 Where it speaks of the person who is not trustworthy. Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble is like a broken tooth and a foot out of joint. You try to run away from evil or towards some good and your foot is out of joint. You want to bite down on a nice juicy steak and your tooth is broken.

16:17 It's very graphic, semi-humorous imagery. Well, he who has a wife who is unfaithful, not trustworthy, who does not possess the virtue of godly stability and trustworthiness of character, she's a broken tooth and a foot out of joint. And so this is the first character trait that is set forth by Lemuel. This is the character trait which, without this, all of the others in a sense will be relatively meaningless.

16:52 If she's unpredictable and unstable and unprincipled, how in the world can her husband safely trust her? And that kind of trustworthy character is the character formed by a woman who anchors her attitudes in the word of God. She's not governed by fleeting, passing, turbulent emotions. She's harnessed and tethered her conscience and her patterns of life to her Bible.

17:27 She governs herself and her responses in the light of the reality of God's sovereignty. She draws strength from God's grace. This is a godly characteristic that grows out of her fear of God. And because she lives in the fear of God, she's predictable.

Dominant Virtue 2: Godly Attitude Towards Hard Work and Enterprising Labor

17:49 She is trustworthy. This, I say, is the first character trait highlighted by Lemuel. Secondly, she possesses the virtue of a godly attitude towards hard work and enterprising labor. She possesses the virtue of a godly attitude towards hard work and enterprising labor.

18:19 That she is inwardly committed to a life of hard work is seen in such statements as 13b. 13b. She works willingly with her hands. Again, verse 15.

18:35 She considers a field and buys it with the fruit of her hands. She plants a vineyard. 18b. Her lamp does not go out by night.

18:50 She husbands the night hours for additional labor. Verse 19. She lays her hands to the distaff and her hands hold the spindle. The grunt work of spinning wool and flax into linen is not beneath her dignity.

19:07 And verse 27b. She does not eat the bread of idleness. Though she's in a socio and economic position where she could have been the lady-in-waiting, to be shown off by her husband at state affairs and public gatherings. No!

19:25 She is not going to eat her bread of the fruit of her idleness while others labor to put bread on the table. No, there's none of her servants who does not have her as an example of one who has a godly attitude toward hard work and also to enterprising labor. To be enterprising is to be willing to take initiative in matters of labor. To take calculated risks in matters of labor.

19:58 And this woman manifests that disposition. Again, look at verse 13. She seeks wool and flax. She is out making judgments about the quality of that material.

20:11 And she's out making judgments about the fair price of that material. There is an enterprising element. 16b. With the fruit of her hand she plants, she oversees this vineyard.

20:23 She oversees this vineyard. This viney cultural business that she desires to see started. Furthermore, verse 24. She makes linen garments and sells them and delivers sashes unto the merchants.

20:39 She is willing, you see, to be aggressive and enterprising with respect to these elements of hard work and of labor. She is not guilty of the sin of idleness and its wicked accompaniments. Remember Paul's words in the passage we studied a couple of weeks ago in 1 Timothy 5? Why does Paul direct the younger widows to be married and to rule the household?

21:08 Because, he says, if they are not look at verse 13 of 1 Timothy 5 and with all they learn to be idle. And what grows out of their idleness? Going about from house to house and not only idle but tattlers also and busybodies speaking things which they ought not. When their hands are not engaged in hard work and enterprising labor the devil sees to it that their tongues become his instrument for evil among the people of God.

21:42 There's Paul's realism. Likewise in Titus 2 and verse 5. The older women are trained the younger women verse 5 to be house workers not house idlers. House workers not lying around in their houses dreaming reading pulp Christian novels spending hours on the telephone yakking when they're in the house they're to be working.

22:10 This woman was a house worker and because she worked diligently in her home she was able to be entrusted with her husband with economic enterprises that took her out of the home and she was able to assign tasks to her maid servants in order to fill up any of those lacks when she was not there hands on administering the affairs of the home. Some of us were brought up with a little saying idle hands are the devil's workshop. If that's so then the great workshop of the idle hands that the devil makes is the tongue. So we read in verse 31 when she is to be praised what is she praised for? Of all the various things that could be brought forward notice what the summary statement is. Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her works praise her indicate her hands and her work not her tongue not her external appearance. It's evident she possesses the virtue of a godly attitude towards hard work and enterprising labor.

23:25 Now obviously the assumption is that this virtuous woman and hear me carefully enjoys a pattern of good health and has been given a very healthy vigorous constitution. That's why I say you can't produce a one to one equivalent. There are some godly women here who have a godly attitude to hard work and enterprising labor who have not been blessed with consistent good health. Who have not been blessed with a naturally vigorous constitution.

23:58 God is not like the Egyptian taskmaster saying make bricks when he doesn't give the straw. And I would want no woman to have a conscience unnecessarily troubled and I don't know how to state it more clearly and more pastorally sensitive than I've just said it. Hear me now because so often it's the one who needs it that doesn't hear it and all they go out and all bloodied in their conscience that the pastor thinks I'm a lazy shrew and no, no, no, no. This is a matter between you and God but this much is clear that this virtuous wife, mother and homemaker possess this godly attitude to hard work and to enterprising labor and I call it a godly virtue because the scripture says in Colossians 3 and verse 23 whatever your hand finds to do do with all of your might. As unto the Lord and not as unto men. The fourth commandment six days shalt thou labor. That's men and women.

25:08 Men and women. Boys and girls. Six days shalt thou labor. It is reflective of the image of God to have our lives structured on six days of labor and a day of rest.

25:21 For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth and rested on the seventh. Godliness without a godly attitude to hard work and enterprising labor is a sham. You kids hear me now. Male and female.

25:43 Don't squawk. Well, they make such demands upon us in school. Well, of course they do. God made you to work.

Dominant Virtue 3: Godly Ability to Organize Time and Tasks Efficiently

25:53 And where are you going to learn it if you don't learn it now? Knuckle under and thank God for parents and teachers who don't let you drift along in laziness and then end up in a pastor's study like I did this past week with a 40-year-old man who's not a part of our congregation. And all he can do is flip pizzas to help put bread on the table because he goofed off in his formative years. Thirdly, she possesses the virtue of a godly ability to organize and structure her time and her tasks so as to fulfill her God-given responsibilities with efficiency. She possesses the virtue of a godly ability to organize and structure her time and her tasks so as to fulfill her God-given responsibilities with efficiency. Now, you can't read the passage without coming away with that conviction. How in the world is she out seeking woolen flax, out gathering stuff like the merchant ships that we saw last week?

27:09 A merchant ship doesn't go up the shore half a mile to get its goods. The whole imagery is she makes some rather extensive forays abroad in order to gather this stuff. And when we see her out evaluating the fields, she doesn't go out and do impulse buying of real estate. She considers it.

27:28 She considers the fields. She looks into the matter. She checks with what real estate is going for in that particular area and all of the rest. How in the world does she get all of this done?

27:41 Well, it's obvious that she possesses the virtue of a godly ability to organize and structure her time and her tasks so as to fulfill her God-given responsibilities with efficiency. But let's look at some of the passages that highlight this. Verse 15. She rises while it is yet night and gives food to her household and their tasks or probably more likely the portion of food to her maidens.

28:12 She says, all right, this is the day when I've made an appointment to meet with the owner of that hunk of real estate. This is the day I'm planning to meet with that viniculturist to find out whether or not I really want to get my feet into the matter of starting a vineyard and beginning to produce a little home wine business. Now if I'm going to be able to do that and meet him at nine in the morning and not have my maid servants be hungry and not have my household in disarray, I've got to get up early Tuesday morning to get all my household matters taken care of so that I can fulfill this dimension of my task and responsibility. Furthermore, look at verse 21.

28:57 Verse 21. Verse 21. She's not afraid of the snow for her household. Why?

29:03 Because she's not running around saying all the snow for her and all we've got in the closet and all we've got in the drawers is summer clothing, and wear the wearables. No, no, she's not going around in a frenzy. Somebody says, hey, don't you know Lemuel's mother, snow's coming. That doesn't bother me.

29:22 Why does it bother you? Well, she says, I've already put the kids winter clothing in their closets all taken care of. It's all in the drawers. Let the snow come.

29:32 How does she do that? An angel come down out of heaven? No, no. She had organized her time and her tasks in such a way as to fulfill her God-given responsibility with efficiency.

29:45 Verse 24. She makes linen garments and sells them and delivers sashes to the merchant. She has structured her appointments with the merchants in order to convey her goods at a given time and a given place. And she doesn't stand them up because there was an element of home domestic duty that she left undone.

30:10 And she says, oh boy, I can't go out there. Remember, no cell phones. So say, guys, I'll meet you two hours later. She blows that appointment.

30:19 And she comes home with a whole bag full of sashes, unbought. By the merchants. She has learned this discipline of the organization and structure of her time and of her tasks. In verse 27, she looks well to the ways of her household.

30:38 She spreads out all of the patterns of her household activities. That's what the ways of the household are. Here's her servants and what they should be doing and how they should be provided for. Here's the children and their various ages and the various responsibilities.

30:53 She looks well to the ways of her household. And looking well to those ways, she has the godly virtue of organizing time and tasks so as to fulfill her God-given responsibilities with efficiency. And I've said again, this is a godly virtue. Read Genesis 1 and 2.

31:16 God organized his task in creating the world. He didn't say, oh, let's see. What do we do? I think maybe we'll make a little light, too.

31:25 There's a light. Now, what do we do next? Oh, yeah. Now, you read Genesis 1 and Genesis 2.

31:33 And the whole aspect of God being an orderly God just oozes through the whole creation account. It is a godlike quality. And there is no way that a totally disorganized, avalpated woman can begin to fulfill, her manifold task as wife, mother, and homemaker if there is no cultivation of this virtue of organization and structure of time and task. Now, my wife is a great lover of the Little House on the Prairie series.

32:09 She's got a whole bunch of all dog-eared, paper-backed ones. And she reads and rereads them. I asked her last night. I said, sweetheart, I've heard you make reference to how life was like out there in Minnesota in the 1860s.

32:23 Can you track down how they structured their time? So she had a little piece of paper sitting on the dresser last night. She said, there it is, dear. In the 1860s, now remember, no easy care, mixed fabrics, no washing machine, no dryers, no central heat, no electric irons.

32:46 Step all that away. How in the world did they get things done? Well, in the Wilder household, or the Ingalls household, Monday was wash day, Tuesday was iron day, Wednesday was mending day, Thursday was churning day, Friday was cleaning day, Saturday was baking day, and Sunday was a whole Sabbath unto God.

33:15 They'd all worked and knew what work was to be done, when and how. And when the Sabbath came, it was, for those kids, an irritating day of rest. There was one wonder. It was how much evangelical life was there.

33:29 But nonetheless, there was the kind of structure that made it possible for them to carry on their tasks. Listen to Bridges' comments. In her household, order is the principle of her rule. Timely orders are given, and they must be obeyed.

33:46 Nothing is neglected that belongs to order, sobriety, economy, or general management. Nothing is neglected that belongs to order. And I know it's hard. And I say a word to you men administering to Christian school.

34:05 Keep this constantly in mind with the various programs that you encourage. If they fundamentally disrupt domestic order, junk them.

34:18 If they fundamentally disrupt domestic order, junk them.

34:24 It's not worth it. It's not worth it. If our kids grow up in hectic households, run here, run here, run there, run there, no structure, no discipline, they end up administering the household like that.

34:40 Now, if you still love me, give me a hug at the door. Nothing is neglected that belongs to order, sobriety, economy, or general management. Well does she understand the exact work of each under her care and their different abilities when they need to be directed, when they need to be left to their own responsibility. What belongs to?

35:03 And what is beyond her own province of superintendence? In other words, she governs her household well.

35:11 Not living off the end of her nose. Oh, what are we going to do today? Oh, yeah, get out of the way, do this. What are we going to do?

Dominant Virtue 4: Godly Perspective Concerning Money and Things

35:15 No, no. That's not a climate for godliness to be nurtured in the thinking and in the disposition of our children. Then fourthly, she possesses the virtue of a godly perspective concerning money and things. She possesses the virtue of a godly perspective concerning money and things.

35:40 It's very evident from this passage. She's been given a very wide berth of financial independence and responsibility by her husband because he knows that she has a godly perspective concerning money and things and can be what? Trusted. The heart of her husband trusts her.

35:59 He trusts her. He knows that she's not going to go off in some harebrained, economic, foolish enterprise that's going to embarrass him and put him in the red. He's confident of her. So what does she do?

36:13 She's trusted to drive a good bargain in her hunting for food. 14A, she's like the merchant ship. She brings her bread from afar. The time away from home, the expense in travel is more than compensated for in the bargain of buying bulk in this particular food item.

36:33 She's got good. Economic sense. She's not ready to use up $5 worth of gas to save $3 on the bargain. You follow me?

36:42 She has good sense in this matter. Verse 16, she's trusted to make a good deal on a piece of real estate. She considers a field and buys it. Her husband's not even there to overrule.

36:56 He trusts her.

36:58 So she considers it and she buys it. Maybe she came home that night and said, Honey, I think we've got a real good deal on that hunk of real estate. Well, tell me about it, dear. Here.

37:06 Here's the deed. I signed it. It is. He trusts her.

37:11 Why? Because she has the virtue of a godly perspective concerning money and things. Verse 18, she discerns the value of the goods she produces and produces more. Verse 18, she perceives that her merchandise is profitable.

37:29 So what happens? Her lamp does not go out by night. She says, hey, I am making a good return on this particular item. I perceive this is profitable.

37:37 I'm going to produce some more.

37:40 She's got sense to know, hey, look, the time and the cost of the raw materials is not producing a sufficient gain. Forget that project. Forget it. Not this woman.

37:50 You see, she's not just scatterbrained about these things. Verse 22, she makes some luxury items for her bedroom and her personal attire. She makes for herself cushions of tapestry. And we'll come back to that.

38:04 Her clothing is fine. Linen and purple. She doesn't have this mentality. If you're threadbare and poor, you're holy.

38:13 Remember her position now. She was a wealthy woman. She had house servants. There may have been many servants that her husband oversaw and gave directions to.

38:24 She gives directions to the maid servants, it says. But whatever that is, this is celebrated as an expression of her virtue. She makes for herself cushions of tapestry. This is not something that's bare.

38:37 Minimal, low end of the expense in aesthetic beauty. Carpets or cushions of tapestry. Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Furthermore, we see, verse 24, she makes linen garments and sells them and delivers sashes to the merchants.

39:01 She knows what is a fair market price. So she doesn't have all this stuff stockpiled because she's...

39:07 She's putting the price out of reach. Nor does she put it so low that it doesn't make her labor worthwhile. All of these things point to what I'm calling the virtue of a godly perspective concerning money and things. Remember how much Jesus had to say about money and things.

39:26 When he said, no man can serve two masters. He'll love the one and hate the other. What was he speaking of specifically? Money and things.

39:34 Mammon. Money and things. Money. And things.

39:39 The whole last part of Matthew 6. Money and things. Seeking first the kingdom and all these things should be added unto you. Paul had a lot to say about money and things, particularly in 1 Corinthians, 1 Timothy chapter 6.

39:52 They that would be rich. Those that have a passion to have more money than comes to them. In the ordinary course of diligence in their calling. They're not satisfied with a primarily subsistence existence with enough left over to give to others.

40:07 They want to... Accumulate stuff.

40:09 He says they drown themselves in sorrows and perdition. Then he speaks to those who do have a lot of stuff. He said tell them not to trust in it. Tell them to be rich in good works.

Dominant Virtue 5 & 6: Godly Compassion and Wise, Gracious Heart

40:20 Ready to distribute. The Bible says a lot about money and things. And no little part of this woman's godly character was that she possessed a godly perspective concerning money and things. Fifthly, she possessed the virtue of a godly...

40:38 Godly, compassionate, and generous heart for the poor and the needy. She possessed the virtue of a godly, compassionate, and generous heart for the poor and the needy. Look at verse 20. She stretches out her hand to the poor.

40:58 Yes, she reaches forth her hands to the needy.

41:04 As I was meditating on this text, I said now, how did she know about the poor and the needy? And my wheels started going. Could it be that day that she went out to look at that field, she passed by the house of a poor man, a poor woman? Maybe she passed by someone on the street begging.

41:28 And when she knew she was going to go back and look at that field a second time, what did she do? Did she say, look, I don't like being exposed to the poor and the needy. It shows up my affluence. And the fact that I'm well healed in my home, I'll take a different route to the field.

41:47 No. Knowing she was going to pass them again, she dibbied up what was there left over from her labors that could have been used without sinning in some personal or domestic concern. And she wraps it up in her bag. And when she goes by the house of the needy, she stretches out her hand.

42:09 She experiences what Jesus said. More blessed. To give than to receive. And what lay beneath the stretched out hand?

42:17 It's what I'm calling the virtue of a godly, compassionate, and generous heart for the poor and the needy. And you can extrapolate that. This woman who was not imprisoned by her four walls and in her various enterprises was exposed to society at large. When she saw the poor and the needy, in the language of 1 John, she did not shut up the bowels of her...

42:42 He that sees his brother has need and shuts up the bowels of his compassion from him. How dwelleth the love of God in him? My little children, let us not love in word only, but in deed and in truth. This woman loved in deed and in truth.

43:03 Furthermore, number six. She possessed the virtue of a godly, wise, and gracious heart. She possessed the virtue of a godly...

43:15 Wise and gracious heart. Verse 26. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the law of kindness is on her tongue. Well, pastor, you say the text says mouth and tongue, and you're saying heart.

43:33 Why? For the simple reason that my Bible says out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. And in that very context, in Matthew...

43:46 Well, Jesus said in the light of that, the tree is known by its fruits. The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things. The evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil things. You see, the virtue that is in her heart is that of a godly, wise, and gracious heart.

44:13 So that when she opens her mouth... Wisdom comes forth.

44:19 When she opens her mouth, there is kindness upon her tongue.

44:27 She has stored up wisdom in her heart. A wisdom rooted in the fear of God, for the fear of God is the chief part of wisdom. A wisdom derived from the word of Christ. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.

44:41 In all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another. She has a biblical grid embedded in her...

44:48 In her brain and in her soul. She has learned to think biblically. So when she speaks, out of her comes true wisdom. Because wisdom is stored up in her heart.

45:02 And when she speaks, her words are kind words. The opposite of abrasive, contentious words. Paul says in Galatians 5.22, the fruit of the spirit is...

45:14 One of them is kindness.

45:17 A grace so lacking in our day. Abrasiveness, harshness, unkindness, contentiousness, overbearing, pushiness. Those are the characteristics of speech in our day. But this woman, she possessed the virtue of a godly, wise, and gracious heart.

45:38 That caused her to open her mouth with wisdom. And the law of kindness is found upon her tongue. If you want a good discipline, take a concordance. And just look at the words wise and wisdom in the book of Proverbs.

45:56 Be prepared to look up literally dozens of passages.

Dominant Virtue 7: Godly Perspective on Inward Piety and Outward Appearance

46:01 And God grant that all of us will labor to possess more and more of that virtue. Then number seven. She possesses the virtue of a godly perspective concerning the relationship between inward piety and outward appearance. She possesses...

46:21 She possesses the virtue of a godly perspective concerning the relationship between inward piety and outward appearance. Look at verses 22 and 23. She makes for herself cushions or carpets of tapestry. Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

46:41 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. Here in verse 22, the emphasis...

46:51 Upon herself and things external. Now let's park for a minute. What are these cushions or carpets of tapestry? Well, Solomon has already used that terminology in exact parallel phrase.

47:06 You know where it's found? In chapter 7. I want you to look at it. When that married woman...

47:13 Please, don't ever refer to her as a harlot. She's not a harlot. She's a married woman who gets her jollies out of seducing innocent young men. No indication she's out making a proposition for money.

47:25 That she's a professional street walker in that sense. She is a married woman probably coming into that stage in life where she knows she doesn't have the beauty she once had. And she gets her affirmations of her identity as a beautiful woman by being able to seduce young men. And she's out in the street when her husband's away on a business trip seducing this young man.

47:47 Now when she seeks to seduce him, notice what she says in verse 15. Proverbs 7. Therefore I came forth to meet you, diligently to seek your face, and I have found you. I have spread my couch, and here's our exact phrase, with carpets or cushions of tapestry.

48:07 With striped claws of the yarn of Egypt, I've perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning. Let us solace ourselves with love. What's she attempting to do?

48:20 She's attempting to seduce him. With every single means of sight and sound and smell. And the way she's attempting to seduce him to her bed is by describing the attractive things connected with her bed. Cushions of tapestry, as well as certain smells.

48:39 Now, the writer to Proverbs, in Proverbs 31, finds the virtuous woman doing what? Making her bed attractive to her husband. With cushions of tapestry.

48:56 Why? She's a Christian vamp. No. She's a godly, virtuous woman.

49:04 Whose husband will praise her. That she keeps the marriage bed attractive and welcoming.

49:14 She's got a proper perspective on the relationship between inner piety and outward appearance. And matters of aesthetic. And marital coyness and attractiveness. Furthermore, our text says that her clothing is fine linen and purple.

49:36 These are not the bare necessities to cover her body. They are ornamental displays of beauty. Fine linen and purple. That which is often associated with royalty.

49:53 Now, there's nothing in the text. That you can say that's connected with verse A. But in Hebrew parallelism, often there is a connection. There's a progression or a repetition or a contrast.

50:05 Could it be that it's referring to the fetching clothing she has in her bedroom closet. To match her cushions of tapestry. I don't know. But one thing is evident.

50:17 As a virtuous woman, she doesn't have clothing of fine linen and purple. To violate the biblical injunction. That women dress modestly. But she understands that godly modesty does not mean frumpiness.

50:32 You know what frumpiness is? You know what frumpiness is? If you don't know. I'm sorely tempted to show you.

50:43 Alright? I pull my hair all down. Loosen up my tie. Have one of my shirt tails hanging out.

50:50 Slouch. That's frumpiness. Frumpiness is not godliness. This godly woman.

50:59 Had a godly perspective concerning the relationship between inward piety and outward appearance. So that, should she ever show up at the gate. If polite, decent women showed up when the elders are gathered at the gate. Her husband didn't have to say, my reputation is going to go down the tubes if they see you.

51:25 I've been praised in the gates for all your virtues. Just don't let them see you. Hmm? Huh?

51:32 You're laughing. Why are you laughing? Because there's a nervous acknowledgement that there is indeed a relationship between a husband's genuine pride in his wife and her unfrumpiness. Now listen to Bridges.

51:52 They say the old writers were puritanic and prudish. Listen to Bridges. This is a beautiful comment. Her clothing is silk and purple.

52:01 Nor does this contradict the New Testament rule of sobriety. 1 Timothy chapter 2, 1 Peter chapter 3, he cites in the footnote. It only commends her station in consistency with the purest simplicity of godliness. In a more general application, the dress should be suitable so as to maintain the rank of leadership and dignity in her home.

52:27 It is possible to pay too little. As well as too much attention to this point. And it is not always that Christian women pay to it the regard precisely due, separate from both extremes. No increase of activity, engagement of all of her other duties can excuse the neglect of those graces which, trifling as they seem, when set out on right principles, form a component part of an attractive profession.

52:59 The primary respect inculcated to the inward adorning in no way renders the exterior grace a nullity. Even in isolated seclusion some regard would be due, much more, as suited to the gradation which Providence has assigned, and as commanding a husband's respect who justly claims that his wife's exterior, as far as she is concerned, should continue to be not less than her own. This is a very important point. This is a very important point.

53:25 This is a very important point. This is a very important point. This is a very important point. This is a very important point.

53:29 This is a very important point. This is a very important point. This is a very important point. This is a very important point.

53:33 This is a very important point. This is a very important point. This is a very important point. This is a very important point.

53:38 This is a very important point. This is a very important point. This is a very important point. This is a very important point.

53:44 This is a very important point. This is a very important point. This is a very important point. This is a very important point.

53:48 This is a very important point. This is a very important point. This is a very important point. This is a very important point.

53:53 This is a very important point. This is a very important point. This is a very important point. This is a very important point.

53:57 and say, sweetheart, go splurge and get a couple of nice, fine linen and purple dresses.

54:09 Well, that's right. How's she going to do it? When you look upon this as unspiritual.

54:18 Her husband didn't tell her, what you doing? Making cushions of tapestry. What utilitarian purpose do they have? She has a twinkle in her eye and she says, you'll see.

54:30 You'll see. You'll see. Do you get the message? Oh, the Bible is a very relevant book, dear people.

54:38 Not a book for prudes. It's not unrealistic. It's not pie in the sky, by and by, alone. But it meets us in these practical expressions of true godliness.

Application to Young Girls and Single Women

54:49 Well, here we have the seven dominant virtues of this praiseworthy wife, mother, and homemaker. She had the virtue of a godly stability and trustworthiness, of a godly attitude toward work, and enterprise. In labor, a godly ability to organize her time and tasks, a godly perspective concerning money and things, a godly compassionate and generous heart for the poor and needy, a godly wise and gracious heart, a godly perspective concerning the relationship between inner piety and outward appearance. Now, tighten your seatbelt because I want to bring applications.

55:26 First of all, to the girls and single women, to the young boys and single men, and then a word to mothers and fathers, and a word to those who are wives, mothers, and homemakers, but never got this stuff placed into you in your formative years. So tighten your seatbelt. Number one, a word to young girls and single women.

55:51 These godly virtues did not drop out of heaven and take up residence in this woman on her wedding day.

56:00 No. They were cultivated in the days of her development and maturation. And with the cultivation, with the cultivation of the fear of God as the primary virtue, each of these virtues became the conscious and constant focus of cultivation and nurture. So that when she came to her wedding day, these virtues in differing degrees of development and maturation were resident in her heart.

56:34 And the marital experience and eventually motherhood and homemaking became the foundation of her life. And became the crucible in their further development and maturation to the glory of God and to the good of her husband. And so, a man thinking biblically, I'm talking to you girls, single women now. You guys, this ain't for you.

56:58 A man thinking biblically, you know what he's going to look for in you?

57:03 These virtues.

57:05 He's not going to take it on credit that they'll suddenly just emerge and pop out of you when a ring is on your finger, and you've had a honeymoon. He's going to be looking, just like this man's mama taught him to look for these virtues in the woman upon whom he would set his affection and pursue as a wife.

57:30 A man thinking biblically is not going to be primarily looking at your face and your form because he will understand the truth of verse 30a. Grace is deceitful. That word in the Hebrew, grace, favor, it's a broad, it basically points to the things you can acquire in the way of demeanor, external behavior and reactions. These are things you can acquire to make you a pleasant person.

58:00 He says those may be deceitful. They may promise virtue of heart and all the while be deceitful. And then he says beauty is vain. It's a passing thing.

58:11 You see, if you have a pretty face and a fair figure, that is only the result of a sovereign activity of God in a millisecond at your conception. You got me? It's the result of a sovereign act of God in a millisecond at your conception when God was overseeing what would be brought in from the gene pool at your conception.

58:36 Now, you think how stupid it is to be proud if you've got a fair face and a nice figure? Look at me. I am what I am because God did something in a millisecond in my mama's womb. You see the madness of it?

58:52 It takes no conscious effort, no prayerful endeavor, no tap roots of the fear of God. Listen, you young ladies. Any man thinking biblically is going to see through your grace, which can be deceitful. He's going to attempt with all of his power, as much as his hormones may be stirred, to look beyond your pretty face and your fair figure.

59:19 To see if you're made on the inside of this stuff.

59:27 That's what he's going to look for. So if you want a godly man, you better start working on these virtues. A godly young man is not going to pursue you for your grace, for your face, or for your form.

59:47 And for those of you, through no choice of your own, who have been blessed with a fair face and an attractive figure, may I give you a word of counsel?

59:58 Don't be proud of it. Don't be ashamed of it. But do your best to cut back the magnetic power of it.

60:10 You know what I mean by that? Do your best to cut back the magnetic power of it. Learn to adorn your face in whatever use you make of makeup and hairstyle in such a way that it does not scream to the world, look at my pretty face. Learn to dress in such a way though not frumpy.

60:34 Does not let everyone who sees you in an instant say, man, if she's stacked.

60:40 Don't adorn your body in such a way as to be a magnet for men's eyes.

60:48 Or you'll get what your magnet's pulling for.

60:57 I'm talking to you like a daddy now.

61:01 Some of you have been blessed with pretty faces and fair figures. It could be your greatest snare.

61:13 You hear what I'm saying? Don't get mad at me. I want to spare you. Allowing yourself to be drawn into relationships where men seek you out for your face and your form because you've done your best to highlight your pretty face and your fair figure.

61:34 Don't do it, girls. Don't do it. Or you'll get what you're fishing for. That's my word to you dear young girls and young women.

Application to Young Boys and Single Men

61:48 I have a word to you young boys and single men. For you, these are the virtues that will make you be a happy, contented,

62:00 God-glorifying head of a household. Pray in these virtues and ask God to give you eyes that are keen to see these virtues and keen to see through grace and beauty. That are deceitful and that are vain.

62:22 It's all right for you, an old man, to tell me, I know I am forgotten.

62:29 I was taken with my wife's face and her form.

62:35 She wasn't parading her pretty face and her fair form. I was taken with it nonetheless. But it wasn't long before I saw beneath that face and form was virtue. And after 46 years, we know by experience grace is deceitful and beauty is vain.

63:08 The wrinkles come. The hair turns gray. And it's only for so long that Clare-All can help you. There comes a point where you continue to use it and you look ridiculous.

63:23 Right? You see some of these old women everything in their skin and their faces. She's at least in her 70s and she's got jet black hair. You say, hey, God just doesn't make people that way.

63:33 She has a lot of hair. She attracts more attention by trying to fight the reality that beauty is vain. It passes. It passes, dear people.

63:44 So you men, hear me now. Pray that God will give you eyes keen to see these virtues. All seven of them. Some of them cannot be more fully known until you're actually married.

63:56 But these things should be the grid through which you pass your assessment of any woman upon whom you are contemplating setting your eyes. And setting your heart. Listen again to Bridges. Let virtue not beauty be the primary object.

64:12 Set against the vanity of beauty. The true happiness connected with a woman that fears the Lord. Here's the basis of happiness. And then he quotes another man by the name of Beveridge.

64:23 If I choose her for beauty, I shall love her no longer than while that continues. And then farewell at once both duty and delight. But if I love her, if I love her for virtues, then though all other sandy foundations fail, yet will my happiness remain entire. What wonderful, wise, godly counsel.

Application to Mothers and Fathers

64:50 All right, now quickly a word to mothers and fathers. What are you supposed to impart to your daughters? The wisdom of Lemuel's mama. These are the things that as parents are part of the sphere of your nurture.

65:05 Your fathers nurture them. Nurture your daughters to think in these biblical categories. Work with them in the cultivation of these virtues. Go back over them again and again and again.

65:23 Generally speaking, they are inculcated like stalactites and stalagmites. A drop at a time. A drop at a time. A drop at a time.

65:33 And there are times when you wonder if anything being formed and then lo and behold, bing! Something happens. And you say, hey, my daughter's beginning to be predictable and trustworthy. Hallelujah!

65:46 All the work isn't in vain.

65:49 And you begin to let out the reins and give some independence in the handling of the money. And lo and behold, you find, hey, she's making good and wise decisions.

66:01 You work at the cultivation of these graces and these virtues. They don't just show up out of nowhere. This is the way this is painstaking, hands-on parenting. And you don't do it sitting with your kids watching videos.

66:20 You don't do it parked in front of the TV. Run in here, run in there. It's everlastingly, painstakingly, hands-on character development. And it's wearisome at times.

66:37 Then I got a word to some of you sitting here saying, but Pastor, I never had this growing up. My mother, my father was a gadfly. My father was a couch potato. There was no communication, let alone communication about the virtues of a godly woman.

Application to Wives, Mothers, and Homemakers Lacking Nurture

66:54 What do I do? Am I consigned to being lazy because I was never made to cultivate a proper godly disposition to hard work and to enterprising labor? Am I consigned for the rest of my days to being sharp with my tongue and being, and shallow in my conversation because I didn't have a mother whose mouth was full of wisdom and kindness? No, my friend.

67:23 Remember Titus chapter 2. Speaking to people saved out of a pagan society that had very little common grace. Remember what Paul said in chapter 1? Cretans are this and that.

67:35 They're liars and slow bellies and clutters and all the rest. But he said, Titus, I want you to tell the older women, put an arm around the younger women. And train them by example and tutoring to be what? Good mothers, good wives, and good homemakers.

67:55 There's hope for you. If, if you stop excusing your ineptitude because of the inadequacy of your background.

68:08 Some of you are never going to get off dead center and still you stop copping up. Well, I never had that growing up. I never had the...

68:15 Granted, you didn't. And I grieve for that.

68:19 But are you indwelt by the Holy Spirit? Do you have your Bible? And are there godly women in this assembly who by example and precept can help you? Then roll up your sleeves and get with it.

68:34 Now! Today! Not mañana!

68:40 And say, by the grace of God, before my children leave my home, I will exemplify those virtues in my role as wife, mother, and homemaker. That my daughters will be able to say when they hear a sermon like this ten years from now, that's what my mama was!

69:07 Young men who are saying, Lord, what's all this mean? In the concrete can say, it must mean I look for somebody who looks something like my mama.

69:19 That's the legacy. You have the privilege and obligation to give your sons and your daughters.

69:28 Now, for some of you, that's going to be extremely costly. You've got patterns in your life that it's going to be like pulling out wisdom teeth to change them. You're going to be hacking off right hands and plucking out right eyes. Everywhere you turn, you're going to see these patterns are as ingrained in you as the skin on your arms.

69:54 But Jesus said, my grace is sufficient for you. My strength is made perfect in weakness. He that, spared not his own son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? You go to the cross and say, Lord Jesus, if you poured out your life for me and you've given yourself in redemptive grace for me and you've been raised from the dead and sent the Spirit, surely, Lord Jesus, you will not withhold the necessary grace to make me into a woman that has the virtue of a predictable, consistent, trustworthy character. A woman who has the virtue of a godly perspective to hard work and enterprising labor and go right down the list and say, Lord Jesus, at the end of the day, these virtues are not a demand upon my frail humanity, but upon the infinite supplies of your grace. Argue from the cross to every one of these virtues and by the grace of God you will see God's promises are not there to tantalize us, but there to be claimed and laid hold of and to see the fruit

71:22 in our lives. I told a man I was going to preach a little longer than usual this morning. I felt I didn't know how in any way to split this thing up and I appreciate your attention. I appreciate your gentleness and patience and hearing me out.

71:38 May God grant that the days to come will show that you've heard with the inner ears of the heart. Let's pray.

71:50 Father, we're so thankful that we have your word as a lamp to our feet and a light to our pathway.

71:58 We praise you for this portion of your word in which you've given us the portrait of this godly wife, mother, and homemaker. And as we've sought to dignify down through the particular cultural and social and personal dimensions and expressions of the virtues, we ask that by your Holy Spirit those virtues would be implanted and cultivated and developed in every woman, every wife, every girl in this place. You'd help us as husbands in nurturing our wives to be committed to help them in the ongoing cultivation of those virtues. You'd help us in the molding of our daughters, the young women in our assembly.

72:43 Lord, seal these things to our hearts, we pray. We know, Lord, they are so counter-cultural. But we thank you that you've made us the counter-culture to be light and salt. We pray for grace to be that.

72:57 Seal then your word to our prophet and to your people.