Christian Fellowship (8) What is Love? (5)

Introduction to Christian Fellowship and the Nature of Love

0:02 The following message was delivered on Sunday morning, December 5th, 1993, at the Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey. Now once again, let us turn together in the word of God to 1 Corinthians chapter 13,

0:22 and will you follow in your Bibles as I read in your hearing verses 4 through 7, this section in the well-known chapter on the subject of love, in which the Apostle gives us this string of various descriptions concerning what love does and what love does not do. 1 Corinthians 13, verse 4. Love suffers long and is kind. Love.

1:00 Love does not envy.

1:03 Love does not vaunt itself, is not puffed up, does not behave itself unseemly, does not seek its own, is not provoked, takes not account of evil, rejoices not in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth, bearing, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Now let us again seek God's face in prayer, reminding ourselves of what we have heard in the reading of the word of God, that without our Lord Jesus we can do nothing, but that one of the ways that we are privileged to lay hold of him and his grace is by means of prayer, and if his word abides in us, then we can ask what we will, and it shall be done unto us. Let us seek his face then for the aid of his spirit.

2:22 Our Father, we thank you for the privilege of being found in the land of the living, of being found in the company of your people this morning. Thank you for the privilege we have had, of hearing your word read, of singing back to you your very own word. We thank you for the privilege we have had of seeking your face, and now, O God, we come again as we prepare ourselves to hear your word expounded and applied, and we earnestly plead that you would send the Holy Spirit upon your servant as he seeks to act, spiritually and honestly open up and apply the word of God. We pray for each one gathered in this building, for those in the various rooms throughout the church building who are listening and watching on the TV monitors, for those who listen by the phone lines in their homes. O God, may your spirit brood over every listening ear that we may hear with something, nothing more than the outward ear, but that we may hear with the ears of the heart, and that your word may move us to new aspects of biblical understanding and obedience.

3:51 Send your spirit upon us, we plead, to this end, in Jesus' name. Amen. Now, in the course of our consideration together of those means of grace, which God has instituted for the growth and development of our spiritual lives, we are concentrating in these days upon the corporate or public means of grace, addressing them as they are summarized and outlined in Acts 2.42, the text in which we read that the early church at Jerusalem continued steadfastly in the early days of the world, in the apostles' teaching, and in the fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in the prayers. And we are presently concerned with this matter of distinctive Christian fellowship as a means of grace. And in particular, we are focusing upon the principle that this distinctive Christian fellowship can only flourish and increase in a climate of increasing love and brotherly affection. And in order to help us evaluate

5:20 whether we are exercising this love one toward another, and to assist us in knowing how to express this love, having seen that the precepts of the law assist us in that area, that the pattern of Christ, assists us, but we are now concerned with the principles embodied in 1 Corinthians 13, 4-7, and what these verses teach us with respect to this matter of love as it is exercised here in this present life among the people of God. We considered the first two positives of verse 4, where love suffers law, and is kind. We then spent an entire message on the first negative, love envies not. Last Lord's Day, we looked at the next two negatives, which form a couplet of concern, love vaunts not itself, is not puffed up. That is, love does not indulge in boastful bragging, and in the inflating influence, of pride.

Defining 'Love Does Not Behave Itself Unseemly'

6:42 Now we come this morning to the fourth negative, love does not behave itself unseemly. And as we attempt to understand these words, consider with me first of all, a basic explanation of the meaning of the text. When the Spirit of God moved the Apostle to write, love does not behave itself, unseemly, what is God saying to his people? Well, when the Apostle wrote these words, he used a verb which has as its root, the noun in the Greek, schema. And you can get some idea where we get our word schematic. It comes directly from the word schema. And the schema of a thing is its form or its structure.

7:46 Now in its verbal form, it is used here with what is called an alpha privative. That is, an A put in front of the word, which means not, and then whatever follows. We use it that way. We say of this person, he's a very moral person.

8:08 What we mean by that is his life reflects sensitivity to morality. But if we say of another person, he is a very amoral or amoral person, what we mean is he is totally without moral sensitivity. He is completely without any indication that his heart and life are framed by morality. Well, the Apostle takes this word, the root idea of which is the form of something in its verbal form, and then the alpha privative in front of it.

8:52 And what is he saying? He is saying love does not behave itself indifferent to or against of things. In other words, against the schema, the form of things, is to act in defiance or inference to social or moral standards. It is to behave rudely, simply.

9:30 And when the Apostle wrote, love does not behave itself, that is what he was saying by the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Love never moves a man or a woman or a boy or a girl to act in social and moral sense. Love never moves anyone to behave rudely, peacefully, dishonorably, or indecently. And that this is the meaning of the word is clearly indicated when one reads the more modern translations. In the New King James Version, it is rendered, love does not behave rudely. The New English Bible, love is not rude. The NIV and several other more recent translators use the word rude or rudely.

10:39 Phillips, in his paraphrase, seeks to capture the meaning by rendering it by the opposite grace. In Phillips' paraphrase, it says, love has good manners. And as I have wrestled with the whole question of how best to convey the sense of this negative aspect of love, I have chosen to stick with the old word unseemly. And the reason I have chosen to stick with it is it is much broader than the word rude.

11:16 And this word is very broad in its significance. Leon Morris, a well-respected New Testament scholar, in his commentary on 1 Corinthians, mentioning the use of this word, the word writes, it is a general term with a wide range of meaning. And so I took my Rodale's synonym finder and looked up the old word unseemly. And here are some of the entries under the word unseemly.

11:51 Listen carefully. Unbecoming. Unbefitting. Improper.

12:00 Indecorous. Unsuitable. Indecent. Uncommon.

12:08 Indelicate. Bourish. Reprehensible. Disre- Dignified.

12:32 Base. Now, do you get a feeling for the word? When Paul behaved against he was moved the word of Leon is a general wide range of meaning of a Christian exerting its influence over his in the presence of his fellow men that lover move him to do that which is unseemly. Defeating. Rude. Inbatter.

13:49 It will never to do that which reflects either defiant standards of morality, social decorum, and of decency. Lenski comments while pride unseemly really follows that lessness forgets its own place and fails to accord to other people their proper dues of respect honor and consideration. That, my brothers and sisters sick meaning this description of what love does not do. So we can say that no one filled with the horse of love fruit up will behave himself unseemly with the presence of others. He will not act in of or indifference to

Application 1: Respect for Differences in Age, Rank, and Position (Part 1)

15:15 social or moral standards to the accepted norms of decency and propriety. Now realizing that we live in a day when that simply as the meaning of the verb is like dropping down on this earth from another planet. I am going to take great pains having sought to give you the basic meaning of our text to give a broad application of the text in four distinct areas. Three of them this morning and God willing next week the entire message to the fourth. Having then considered the meaning of the text now then secondly I want to make a broad application of the text. First of all love does not behave itself unseemly with respect to the differences of age position which exist

16:44 in the will of God. Love does not exist in defiance or in love. Now according to the scriptures all manipulators not withstanding God that his world should be made up of people and position and where God sovereignly diversity of age so that we have young and old diversity of rank position where some lead and others follow and are in no such positions the word of God makes it very plain that the verbal symbols of the recognition of that diversity of age rank and position are binding upon all of us and love will never

18:13 unseemly love will never move us to be indifferent to what God has given us in this world and in this world God has made up his world with people who are diverse in age and position and for our passage I want you to turn away to the world and to understanding both of the physical and the physical and the material and the material and of that to the physical and of the spiritual and Dirt would work its way through and attach itself to the sweat between the toes. People made of the same stuff then as you and I are made of today.

19:38 And therefore the washing of the feet was a social custom rooted in a physical necessity. If one were to be clean in his own house. Well Jesus had just done that work of a common servant in order to teach a vital lesson to his disciples. But in the midst of it there is a secondary lesson that has a direct application to what I'm asserting this morning.

20:07 When Paul says love does not behave itself unseemly. I am saying in the application of that text. Love does not behave unseemly with respect to the difference. The differences of age, rank and position as those differences come to expression in words and in physical symbols.

20:30 Notice what our Lord says in verse 13. Speaking to his own disciples. You call me teacher and Lord. When they addressed Jesus they addressed him with titles indicative of their recognition of his peculiar rank.

20:54 And position with respect to them. He was their teacher and their Lord. And he says therefore you teacher. By which you address me with reality.

21:25 Therefore you say well your teacher. Therefore for you to address me oh teacher oh Lord is perfectly proper. It is expression unashamedly recognizing my rank and position. In relationship to you.

21:51 You see that in the text. Do I convince your judgment. I'm not reading that in. This is what the Lord Jesus says.

22:00 You call me a society where we are all one. And you can call me. He said no such thing. He had just performed the functions of a common slave.

22:27 Therefore as he goes on to say. This caused the lesson to come through with all the more power. This caused the lesson to come through with all the more power. This caused the lesson to come through with all the more power.

22:42 Which it is a thought. Which is the one who possesses the. Reflected in the names and titles. By which you addressed me.

22:56 If I then the Lord and the Master have washed your feet. The posture of the common house slave. The posture of the common house slave. You ought also.

23:06 Those who are the company of the taught. And who are bound together in a fellowship of discipleship. And who are bound together in a fellowship of discipleship. In which I am your teacher.

23:14 And come in submission to me. In which I am your Lord. You who have an equal right to me. status among yourselves as my disciples as my subjects surely then if I the Lord and the teacher recognized as such designated as such addressed as such if I have done this then surely you who are brethren ought to be willing to take the posture of servants one to another now do you see that in this passage our Lord Jesus Christ uses the reality of their love him that did not behave itself unseemly now listen carefully the Bible says Jesus is not ashamed to call us brethren later on in this upper room discourse he said henceforth I call you no more servants for a servant does not know what his Lord does from henceforth I call you friend it is one thing for Jesus in condescending love to say I will call you my friends it would be quite another

24:34 thing for the disciples in arrogant cheekiness to call Jesus their buddy you see the difference for the superior in rank position involuntary to stoop and to say you I you friends because I'm going to relate to you with an intimacy that is only appropriate among friends you see our Lord recognizes the impropriety of a master disclosing his secrets to a slave he says therefore I've got to give you a new name before I can act in a seemly way you beginning to get the feeling of this the son of God would not set aside the order of the Lord and the

Application 1: Respect for Differences in Age, Rank, and Position (Part 2)

25:28 evidence a c second passage Matthew chapter 3 Matthew chapter 3 what am I attempting to do having shown the basic meaning of the text love does not behave itself unseemly I'm making my first broad application of the text it does not behave itself unseemly with respect to differences of age rank and position Matthew chapter 3 the incident of our Lord coming to the river Jordan to be baptized by John and John has pointed to the Lord Jesus according to the John 1 passage designated him Lamb of God Son of God and in his preaching according to chapter 3 and verse 11 he is conscious that his

26:55 baptism is preparatory for the coming of another I indeed baptize you in water unto repentance but he that comes after me is now notice mightier than I whose shoes I am not worthy to bear passage whose shoes I'm not worthy to loose position I know my rank in relationship to Messiah I have no rest coming forth and telling you I am the voice crying wilderness who are you Christ no are you the prophet no I'm the voice crying in the wilderness I know my position my rank and function in the will of God but I also know the rank the function and the position of the one whose forerunner I am and he is of such a different order than I that I'm not worthy to do the function of a common slave to him I'm not worthy to loose his sandals and loosing them by implication to wash his feet in his presence though I have a dignified and an exalted

28:21 and a wonderful privilege to be the forerunner of Messiah in terms of his rank and his position I'm unworthy to even loose his shoes so then we read in verse 13 then comes Jesus from Galilee to the Jordan unto John to be baptized of him but John would have hindered him now wait a minute why would John resist this one of whom he had already spoken saying he's greater than I in other passages he says he was before me he understood that this was to some degree God's incarnate son why would he resist the will of the incarnate God because what Jesus wanted him to do appeared unseemly it appeared out of the schema out of the rightful scheme of things but John would have hindered him saying to be baptized of you I'm the forerunner I delightfully proclaim behold the Lamb the one coming after me

29:48 he shall baptize in the spirit but that you should be baptized in my hands that I should take the place of the superior of the superior the one who is in the place of lead and you should passively put yourself in my hands to be plunged in Jordan's water by me in an ordinance that is designed for sinners to confess their sin Lord this is against the proper order of things and because John's heart was moved with genuine love to Christ he was reluctant until the Lord Jesus said Jesus answering said unto him suffer it now for thus it becomes us to fulfill all righteousness in a way that you may not understand John this is not unrighteous this is not unseemly and against the canons of love it is essential to fulfill all righteousness which I must effect on behalf of my people I must make it evident that I am a man of God that I am publicly openly identifying myself with sinners that I am indeed to be the Lamb of God who bears away the sin of the world

Application 1: Respect for Differences in Age, Rank, and Position (Part 3)

31:15 and here John in this public place I will publicly identify myself with my people in a sinner's ordinance John though it appears unseemly suffer it now to fulfill all righteousness but you see John could not when Jesus said baptize me he said sure Lord glad to do it good great oh man what would that do for my reputation when people hear I baptize now it appeared unseemly why because it seemed to overturn the difference of rank position and love in the heart of John was sensitive to that reality I'll turn to an Old Testament example 1 Samuel 12 24 1 to 7 1 Samuel chapter 24 in that section of the Old Testament in which we have the life of David recorded David was set apart by God to be king in Israel Saul filled with burning jealousy seeking to overturn the clearly revealed will of God that because of his own disobedience he would be deposed from being king and you know

32:45 those of you familiar with the Bible history how Saul filled with this murderous spirit of envy is chasing David around the wilderness of Judea when he's within the parameters or within the precincts of his home he seeks to kill him and in one of those situations we read in 1 Samuel 24 1 to 7 this interesting incident it came to pass when Saul was returned from following the Philistines it was told him saying behold David is in the wilderness of En Gedi and Saul took 3,000 chosen men out of all Israel this was his crack commando specially trained group of soldiers 3,000 chosen men out of all Israel and went to seek David and his men upon the rocks of the wild goats and he came up on the sheep coats by the way where was a cave and Saul went in to cover his feet it's a euphemism for Saul's Saul went in to relieve himself in normal bodily elimination it's a delicate euphemism you see we talk in an age that says oh let's be real the Bible's real it's clear what the euphemism is but there's a delicacy and there's nothing wrong with delicacy and refinement we live in an age that sneers at it he went in to cover his feet now David and his men

34:14 were abiding in the innermost parts of the cave and the men of David said unto him now listen David's men say to him behold the day of which the Lord has said unto you behold I'll deliver your enemy into your hand and you shall do to him as it shall seem good to you I've searched my Bible and I find no such word is ever recorded as coming from the mouth of a prophet or coming directly to God to David by God through an angel or any other way they made up they deduce from the circumstances that God had already anointed David told him he was going to be king and they made an unwarranted deduction now Saul is here here's your opportunity God's delivered him into your hand kill him and you'll come to your rightful place as king and David arose and cut off the skirt of Saul's robe privily imagine in a cave sneaking up so quietly he got a little piece of Saul's robe and with his sharpest knife he cut off just a little piece of it and he said unto his men the Lord forbid that I should do this thing unto my Lord Jehovah's anointed to put forth my hand against him seeing he is Jehovah's anointed having cut off a little bit of his garment he then says no what you men suggest I dare not do why he has a rank given to him by God

35:42 and God has not yet changed his rank God has anointed him and installed him as king and until God deposes him he is my king worthy of the respect of a king though he's out to murder me then what happened so David checked his men with these words and suffered them not to rise up against Saul and Saul rose up out of the cave and went on his way and you'll notice that I omitted one little phrase in the midst of that account and you see what it is we read in verse 5 it came to pass afterward that David's heart smote him now notice not because he made an effort to kill Saul but he had cut off Saul's skirt he had committed an act of humiliation to the king and his heart smote him why because he had acted in an unseemly way he did a dishonorable thing to the king to say but pastor it's a friends I didn't write this the Holy Ghost did

37:10 to get through perhaps to this crass rude generation that there is such a thing as decorum and decency and propriety and honor to whom honor is due in spite of what they may be attempting to do to us and their personal disposition to us David's heart smote him you can read the subsequent account why did his heart smite him because he had acted in an unseemly way and love does not behave itself unseemly and at this point in his life when David had a sensitive conscience what we would say one little cheeky act smote his heart this is the very man who later on could look and lust and lie with a woman other than his wife and commit murder by proxy and then go through the gyrations of self justification for almost a whole year would God

Application 1: Respect for Differences in Age, Rank, and Position (Part 4)

38:40 that David had remained in this posture when under the influence of the love that does not behave itself unseemly his heart is smitten for such a quote little act of indiscretion and I want you to turn to the New Testament you're beginning to get the feel some of you think oh Pastor Martin from a generation where please and thank you and he said when is he my friend if any of you tries to make this a generational thing I want to do all in my power to get inside your conscience and play the role of a prosecuting attorney until you cry out no more no more I capitulate the word of God is clear love does not behave itself unseemly whether in a cave in the wilderness of Judea whether in an upper room in Palestine whether by the river Jordan that has nothing to do with Al Martin's generation that has to do with the changeless word of God that is profitable for doctrine reproof correction instruction in righteousness return to first Timothy what is the rank and position of Timothy in the church at Ephesus he is next in line to the apostle in a very real sense Timothy

40:09 had become Paul's alter ego at Ephesus and he was he said in chapter one I've left you in Ephesus to clear up some doctrinal aberrations he says in chapter three verse fifteen if I tarry long that you may know how men ought and that word ought is the word of moral obligation how men are morally obligated to behave themselves in the house of God so Timothy is next to the apostle in authority in his position at the church at Ephesus whatever elders were there Timothy had a position that was above them in terms of being directly accountable to the apostle he was an apostolic representative now in the midst of giving directions to Timothy as to how he's to carry out his many tasks in implementing apostolic directives in the church notice what Paul says to him in chapter five verses one through three rebuke not an older man elder there is not elder in the sense of a man in office it's the same Greek word presbyteros means an older man the context indicates he's talking about age distinctions that bring with it different positions do not rebuke

41:37 an older man but exhort him as a father the younger men as brothers the older women as mothers the younger that is the younger women as sisters in all purity honor widows that are widows indeed now what's Paul saying to Timothy he's saying now Timothy in carrying out all of these directives I've given you all the way from having to deal with the infectious influence of false teaching particularly regarding the law dealing with the proper roles of men and women chapter 2 dealing with the priority of prayer dealing with biblical standards for leadership Timothy in all of these things you must act under the impress of the love that does not behave itself unseemly is it unseemly for a boy to come up to his dad even though his dad has done something wrong and say hey dad you blew it and talk to him like he's talking to a buddy his own age you see that's unseemly a son is to respect the age and the position

43:07 of his father and he's to manifest it in even the manner in which he must point out a fault so Timothy though he's an apostolic representative has no right to set aside the accepted norms of the respect that a younger man is to show to older men and his ecclesiastical position did not cancel the rank and the order of the older and the younger men and Paul says Timothy respect that order when you even must deal in a negative way with one of the older brothers in the assembly you don't strut up to him and say brother John you're the oldest man in this assembly and you ought to know better and begin to rebuke him and scold him as though he were your son don't do that Timothy you exhort him as a father the assumption being that every fair minded person would know that a son does not become cheeky in the way he points out even the faults of his father do you see that in the text do you feel the weight of it and what about the younger men well treat them as your brothers they're your buddies in age treat them accordingly

44:36 let your exhortations and rebukes reflect that God has put you in the same age bracket and deal with them accordingly the older women treat them as mothers what is the assumption he will treat them differently from the way he will treat the younger women whom he is to regard as sisters with a level of familiarity that Paul then beautifully balances with this delicate note in all purity though you do not give the younger women the esteem that you give to the older as mothers never let that greater familiarity perhaps fewer symbols of respect don't let it cross the line of absolute purity he sets up the barrier so that he would not be unseemly indecorous crude or rude in his dealings with any does grace negate these things no and I could bring to bear many other passages perhaps you've already thought of them all of the passages in Ephesians in Colossians and in 1st Timothy 6 where Paul is dealing with the relationship of slaves to their masters and masters to their slaves not once

46:04 not once does he say and since you know that the institution of slavery is wicked slaves make it known by disrespecting your masters never once that's in the bible I didn't put it there and he says to masters doesn't say now come down and be buddy buddy with your servants since you're Christians and you're all one in Christ forget the distinctions in Christ there's neither bond nor free he says no you masters be fully conscious of your position and remember this you have a master in heaven to whom you're accountable he doesn't tell them to abandon their rank or their consciousness of their rank and position he tells them how to fulfill it in a way that is seemly in a way that recognizes the dignity of that servant or slave and especially if he's a brother the way that recognizes his dignity as a child of God and an heir of all the blessings of the gospel this is why in 1 Peter 3 Peter insists that a woman's submission to her husband is not altered if he is a non-Christian wives be in submission

47:32 to your own husbands that if any obey not the word he may without the word be won by the holy manner of living of the wife why God has established that rank and position and the presence or absence of grace does not affect it I didn't write it the Holy Ghost did and when Paul wrote to the letter to the Romans who was there in the imperial palace when he said the powers that be are ordained of God Romans 13 whoso resists the power resists the ordinance of God render to all their dues honor to whom honor tribute to whom tribute what does he say he's saying where God has established rank and position and relationships based upon age the grace of God does not blur those distinctions it gives us all the more incentive to respect them and to speak and act in such a way that we make it evident we are filled with the spirit of the love that does not behave itself unseemly now you say you believe the Bible

Practical Implications for Christian Conduct

49:00 but you don't if those texts haven't carried your conscience then folks I better quit preaching because I believe there's been enough biblical data there to carry the conscience of any reasonable person if it hasn't carried your conscience then you better start making moves to get me out of this pulpit or you better ask God what kind of deep-seated unmortified pride will keep you from joyfully recognizing the realities where God has established differences of age which demand certain standards reflected in speech and actions differences of rank and position which demand certain expressions in speech and in actions now having laid out the biblical case on this first page and it looks as though that's as far as I'll get this morning and folks again I say it sweetly I don't say it nastily I'm not concerned to run through material I'm concerned that God the Holy Ghost will come upon this congregation that we will manifest a love that does not behave itself unseemly

50:28 therefore therefore by way of application this has just been proving from the Bible that love does not behave itself that love does not behave itself that love does not behave unseemly with respect to the differences of age rank and position which exist in the will of God now then what does that say to us in the sphere in which we live it means that we as Christians above all people ought to know and joyfully employ the proper terms of address when referring to people of differing age rank and position from us Jesus said you call me not you regard me inwardly he uses a verb which means you speak we get our word phonetics from it phonograph from it he says when you speak not just you regard me as teacher and Lord and call me buddy or just say hey there Jesus you use the appropriate verbal signals when you address me and you say well for so I am and I place my imprimatur upon such an arrangement and Timothy though you've got some serious business to do to sort out many things in the church never forget there are differences of age

51:57 and rank and position and never never Timothy forget those distinctions and their appropriate verbal and non-verbal signals and symbols let's learn the proper terms of address don't talk about Bill Clinton he's not Bill Clinton to you he's President Clinton he is Mr. Clinton everybody on a first name basis now granted he did not help in his campaign by making a fool of himself by appearing on Arsenio Hall's show and jamming it up with his saxophone granted that was beneath his dignity and did I have Mr. Clinton here I would say Mr. Clinton you behave unseemly and I rebuke you in the light of the word of God but his unseemly behavior does not rob him of his due any more than Saul's unseemly behavior to David robs Saul of his due honor as king in Israel in this congregation may it be evident by the way we refer to our leaders I'm not quite sure what would be the appropriate terminology for the word governor Whitman some of us have problems with using the term Ms. it's a matter of

53:25 conscience with us but we must seek an appropriate way that indicates in our hearts we accept the reality that almighty God has made these distinctions in rank this is why you parents have a solemn obligation not to let your kids address adults by their first name if they're very much a part of your life if they're very much a part of your life if they're very much a part of your life if they're very much a part of your life if they're very much very close you may want to do as we did very close friends they were uncle and auntie others were always mister and missus not just in the presence of the person but in our presence we did not permit them why? why? because love does not behave itself unseemly we are not equal in terms of age rank and position we must learn to speak to our employers in terms of in ways that respect that position they have over us not only to their face but when we refer to them in the presence of others some of you wondered why whenever I refer to any grown man in this church in a public meeting I don't call him by his first name but almost invariably with few exceptions I will say Mr. Perosi Mr. Kitchen why do you think I do that? says the way you were brought up no not particularly

54:53 it's the word of God which is because the congregation is comprised of in those settings often of younger people and they ought to recognize that as a man comes to maturity of years it is Mr. So-and-so it is Mrs. oh you say that's just a piddly was it a little thing when Jesus said you call me Master and Lord by whatever means we are to recognize and to seek to inculcate in our children this recognition that love does not behave itself unseemly and no matter what happens in society be not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what is the good acceptable and perfect will of God and what is the will of God that we be filled with the spirit whose fruit is love the love of God that does not behave itself unseemly as so often is the case Matthew Henry hit the nail right on the head when commenting on this very passage Roman numeral five in his exposition charity or love is careful not to pass the bounds of decency then he gives the little

56:22 Greek phrase uke askemonae it behaves not unseemly it behaves it does nothing in decorous nothing that in the common account of men is base or vile it does nothing out of place or time and behaves towards all men as becomes their rank and ours with reference and respect to superiors with kindness and condescension to inferiors not a condescending spirit but the kind of condescension manifested by our Lord who being in the very form of God came in the form of a servant that's what he means by condescension with courtesy and goodwill to all men it is not for breaking order confounding ranks bringing all men on a level but for keeping up the distinction God is made between men and acting decently in its own station minding its own business without taking upon it to mend or censure or despise the conduct of others you see a failure to use the proper symbols verbally and non-verbally is one of the reasons

57:49 why some of you have such a difficult time coming into a church where there's rule by elder because you were brought up in a home where your opinion had as much weight as your parents in fact often by sheer lobbying with threats and temper tantrums your will carried the day and suddenly you're in a framework where you're not even made privy to things that are none of your business and decisions are made concerning which you have no input and no knowledge and you find it very very difficult to live with that this is one of the reasons why you were brought in a in a in a context of unseemliness where order and rank and relationships were not in your mind as matters instituted of God as I have said on several occasions I learned the lesson at many levels by the grace and goodness of God but when my father would make a decision on an issue and drop it down out of the box and I'd say but why dad his standard answer would be because I am your father and I said so do you think I ever dared to say

59:18 that's not enough I have too much regard for the nerve endings on my backside my self interest kept my mouth shut and as I got older he would then take me into his confidence and say now son I'm glad you obeyed on the basis that my will was expressed but now let me tell you what lay behind that decision so when you're facing that as a grown man you'll know the things that you need to consider when making decisions he wasn't being cruel he wasn't pulling rags he was teaching a lesson and some of you never learned from your parents and you never learned it from this crazy mixed up society and if some of you kids wonder why your parents are so dead set against the whole climate of rock music and you're not and against the whole climate of rap music this is part of it in that whole context of the rock culture and the rap culture there is not only a refusal to recognize the realities of God instituted difference of age and rank and station and the proper acknowledgement of those there is a devilish hellish defiance of every semblance of it and that's

60:45 one of the major motifs of the rock culture and the rap culture it's hate anything that's above me put everything beneath my feet and if you're honest you'll admit that that allegation is not an overstatement you want to know how to love love does not behave itself unseemly love does not manifest in you love does not manifest in you love does not manifest in you love does not manifest in you let alone defiance of the accepted order of recognizing that God has made us and put us in different stations and ranks and I want to append at the end as I close that applies to the distinction among the sexes and perhaps that will warrant a separate treatment though I hadn't planned it in the beginning the sexes are symbols of giving honor to the weaker vessel how many times when I'm finishing a counseling session do I have to pull a woman's hand back from the door and say please let me be a gentleman and open the door of my study women are so unaccustomed to men

62:15 showing gentlemanly deference to them that they automatically think they're going to open their own door and when we go down to the hallway they grab for their own coat even with their husband standing there I don't care if it embarrasses the husband I say no I take the coat and put him on you say you're bragging no I just don't know what else to use for an illustration love does not behave itself unseemly love accepts the reality that God has made the woman the weaker vessel and she's to be honored for it not despised for it she's to be honored by opening the door for her holding her coat for her being protective of her sensitive to her dear people would we be in this sea of total antipathy to all of this would we be the new humanity in Christ shining as a city set upon a hill then let's cry to God to be filled with the spirit of the love that does not behave itself unseemly and here I've touched just one aspect of the broad application the recognition of the differences of age social station and rank instituted by God and the necessity of expressing the proper verbal and non-verbal

Call to Christ-Centered Living and Prayer

63:44 signals of our hearty acceptance of those distinctions if you're not a Christian you've sat here this morning and said what kind of a weirdo place have I come into no my friend you haven't come into a weirdo place this book's been expounded my case has been laid out from this book the issue is this you're so accustomed to living for yourself and unto yourself the second Corinthians 5 15 says this is a totally other world and you're right it is but that's the world into which the grace of God will bring you if you'll face up to the fact that your cursed self-centered world will end in hell and judgment and that's why the first call in discipleship is if any man will come after me let him deny himself you have to you are not the center of the universe Christ is and a Christian is one who from the heart has embraced that reality and Christ is now the center of his universe by means of the attraction of his cross and the gracious work of his spirits of doing us to his government we want to please Christ in everything even when we say Mr. Clinton and Mr. So-and-so and Miss So-and-so and please please and thank you and excuse me and when we teach our children

65:13 how to answer the phone in some other way then hello I'm shocked at the way some of your children answer the phone it's unseemly they recognize my voice it's unseemly that you've not taught them how to answer the phone in a gracious way some of you have done admirably I've commended you I've commended your children I've even sent little notes at times dear people you want serious religion you want this bad you want real fellowship among us real fellowship will exist to the extent that we have the love that does not behave itself unseemly love that does not behave itself unseemly and it's a beautiful thing when each of us from the heart has embraced his age rank and station and each renders to the other the proper verbal and non-verbal signals of the hearty acceptance of that which God has done let us pray our father we are so thankful for the holy scriptures that they are indeed a lamp unto our feet and a light to our pathway and we know

66:41 that we've touched upon things this morning that are so contrary to the prevailing social climate of our own generation but Lord you know that we are deeply committed that by your grace we shall live by the standards of the word of God no matter what it cost us help us then to have the love in ever increasing measures that love that not only suffers long and is kind does not envy does not swell with pride and indulge in boastful bragging but grant us that love that never behaves itself in an unseemly manner forgive us for our many acts of unseemliness wash us in the blood of Christ and make us a people filled with that love hear us and dismiss us with your blessing we pray in Jesus name Amen