How Should Parents/Church Regard/Treat Children?

Introduction: The Need for Positive Biblical Teaching on Children

0:00 This adult Sunday school class was held on March 4th, 1984, at the Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey.

0:13 Now let's pray and ask for the Lord's blessing upon our studies of His Holy Word.

0:22 Our Father, as we come into Your presence this morning, we are conscious again that we need Your help and grace to come to grips adequately with Your Holy Word. We pray, Father, that You would help us, that You would strengthen us, that You would open up our minds and our hearts and make them receptive to the truth of the Scriptures. We ask these things in Jesus' name. Amen.

0:56 Now, as some of you have no doubt already noticed, I can tell by your smiles that I have a head cold. And I'm going to try to speak over it loud enough. If you can't hear me...

1:11 If you can't hear me in the back, let me know. And please try not to be distracted by the nasal sound that's protruding from my lips this morning.

1:20 Now, we've just completed a rather lengthy study of the subject of infant baptism. I understand there were 31 Sunday school classes on that subject. But basically, the purpose of those studies was to show that it is inappropriate to baptize infants. Now, we touched on many other areas and issues in the course of going through the broad mass and the wide range of the biblical data which it is necessary to survey in order to come to grips with that subject and to reach biblical conclusions.

2:02 However, there's one other matter which could be called matters arising, as Pastor Blaze used to say, which grows out of this subject, which I believe must be addressed. Before we can really leave the topic. And that is, we must make some kind of a positive biblical presentation with respect to the question, how should we regard and how should we treat our minor children who are in our homes, who are under our care, whom the Lord has entrusted to us? In other words, how should the church treat that group of people who constitute the departmental, independent of its members? And I have three things to say with respect to this question. In other words, I don't want to close on a negative note, but I want to close on a positive note to present the positive biblical teaching. Now, of course, I can only give an overview this morning, but that's precisely what I wish to do.

General Principles and Observations Regarding Children

3:08 And I have three things to say. First of all, to give you some general principles. Principles and observations with respect to the biblical teaching concerning children. Secondly, to lay out the major duties of Christian parents with respect to the religious training of their children.

3:31 And thirdly, to draw your attention to several differing perspectives on the way that we should regard our children. So I have three things. Number one, to give you the general principles. Principles and observations.

3:45 Number two, to lay out the biblical duties with respect to the religious training. And number three, to set before you the various perspectives on this subject. First of all, general principles and observations. Now, many of these have been touched on before in our studies to various degrees, and I simply will list these things and remind you of the principles, and the passages in most of the instances.

4:23 I don't intend to take a lot of time. I'm only mentioning these things in order to put this material into proper perspective. All right, the first general observation is this. Minor children were the subject of Christ's tender and loving embrace, Christ's well wishes, and Christ's prayers while he was here on earth.

4:50 They were the subjects of the biblical teaching. They were the subjects of Christ's tender and loving embrace. He took them up into his arms. Of his well wishes, he blessed them.

5:02 And of his prayers, he prayed over them while he was here upon the earth.

5:11 And this is an indication of a general love and benevolence which was found in the heart of the Lord Jesus Christ towards minor children. Right. Matthew chapter 18, also Luke, Matthew 19. I believe it's also Luke 18, the parallel passage to Matthew 19, 14, and following.

5:35 Those passages that we looked at in some detail. Second observation. The minor children of Christians were assumed to be present and were addressed in the public meetings of the churches. That is, they were assumed to be present in the public meetings, these are the Left- 빼�� 1960的, They that we looked at in some detail.

5:52 Second observation. The minor children of Christians were assumed to be present, and were addressed in the public meetings of the church. That is, they were assumed to be present in the public meetings of the Second C Festival of 작업 My child was Oh my Jesus and were addressed in the epistles sent to the churches. The book of Ephesians, the book of Colossians.

6:03 And also sometimes they were present on other social occasions. For example, when the disciples went down to say farewell to Paul, to see him off at the ship in Acts chapter 20, they brought their wives and also their minor children with them. My third observation.

6:27 The minor children of Christians from mixed marriages, that is, Christians who are married to unconverted spouses, unconverted husbands, unconverted wives, are suitable for the most intimate parental contact. First Corinthians chapter 7. Minor children that issue from mixed marriages, that is, marriages of Christians to unconverted, are suitable for the most intimate parental contact. First Corinthians chapter 7.

7:04 Next observation, fourth observation. The minor children of Christians are conceived and born dead in sins and trespasses, just like those of the unconverted. Psalm 51, 4 and 5. Ephesians 2.

7:22 Proverbs 22, 15. Proverbs 22, 15. Proverbs 22, 15. Proverbs 22, 15.

7:25 Proverbs 22, 15. Proverbs 22, 15. Proverbs 22, 15. Proverbs 22, 15.

7:25 Proverbs 22, 15. Proverbs 22, 15. This is bound up in the heart of the child. David said, In sin did my mother conceive me.

7:32 And Paul said in Ephesians 2, 1 and following, that we were all by nature children of wrath, even as the rest.

7:45 Fifth observation.

7:51 The same gospel promises of forgiveness of sins and the gift of the Holy Spirit are made to minor children and to their unconverted parents who repent. Acts chapter 2, verse 38 and 39. The promise is to you and to your children. Who's the you?

8:15 The you is unconverted Jews. Unconverted Jews who were Christ slayers who were told to repent of their sins for if they repented they would receive the Holy Spirit and this promise which is made to you is also made to you. It is also made to your children. Those gospel promises which are made to the unconverted, these promises are equally to be held out to their children.

8:45 Sixth observation.

8:49 It is that God indicates God indicates that parental discipline and nurture is the means by which he usually and ordinarily works common and special grace in the hearts of the minor children of his people. Let me repeat that. God indicates in his word that parental discipline, parental training, religious nurture is the means by which he usually and ordinarily works both common grace and special grace in the hearts of the minor children of his people. Now passage after passage in the book of Proverbs underscores that this is God's ordinary way of dealing. I just would like to mention some of them if you're writing these down. Proverbs 13, 24 Proverbs 22, 6 and 15 Proverbs 23, 13 Proverbs 29, 15 at the end of the book of Proverbs.

10:03 I don't want to take the time to go back over all of those promises. And along with that general promise is the promise that when God speaks about providing for the righteous and caring for the righteous that includes making such provision that our children will also be provided for in terms of temporal things. The psalmist could say, I have been young and now am old and I have never seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed begging bread. That when God says he will provide for us useless promise were that if we were to watch our children starve. I have never seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed begging bread. And they are included in that general promise of provision of need which is made to the righteous. Do you see a man that walks in his integrity?

11:17 Blessed are his children after him. And so God has bound up these promises of provision and blessing with godly walking and parental training and nurture. That is the general rule by which God has deemed to work. And then the seventh and final observation is this.

11:45 The character of a child is revealed by his behavior just like the character of an adult.

11:55 The character of a child is revealed by his behavior just like the character of an adult. The text I did, I'm going to read this one because we haven't, we've gone over this one before, so I'm going to take a minute and read this one to you. Proverbs chapter 20 and verse 11.

12:23 The text reads, Even a child makes himself known by his doings whether his work be pure, whether it be right. Even a child makes himself known by his doings whether his way be pure, whether it be right. So it is not, even in the case of a child, it is not so much words as actions, which is the true determinant of the state of the heart. By their fruits, by their works, you shall know them.

13:01 And the writer of the Proverbs says that this extends not only to adults, but also to children. Even a child makes himself known by his doings. All right, so much then for these general principles of the Word of God, which we've touched on, except for the last one, to some degree or other in all of our previous studies. What I wanted to do then in the beginning to put things into perspective is to articulate all of them and to set them out before you.

Duties of Christian Parents: Instruction and Example

13:36 Now the second point. Now can you see that third one in the back? You catch the third one? People tell me, no you can't, somebody can't.

13:59 Well anyway, I haven't written it yet. But there are, people say they can't see down at the bottom of the board in the back. And I know that's true. But I just want to see if they can see down that low.

14:11 Most people back there can. Apparently one person can't. All right, now the duties of Christian parents with respect to their religious training of their children. All right, first of all, we are responsible to instruct them in the ways and things of God.

14:31 We're responsible to instruct them in the ways and things of God. Now many passages could be brought to bear upon this, and I don't intend to go into it in great detail. First of all, Ephesians chapter six, Colossians chapter three. We're responsible to give them general instruction in the things of God.

15:02 The content of their Bibles, the truth about church history, the doctrines of the Bible, the basic teachings of the Bible, and ethics. And secondly, we're responsible to give them specific rebukes, corrections, encouragement, testimony, as it bears upon the specific needs of their lives. I can't help but think of first Thessalonians in this respect. And the apostle, as he describes his dealing with the Thessalonians.

15:38 First Thessalonians chapter two. Verse eleven and following, he says, As you know how we dealt with each one of you as a father with his own children. Now not merely giving general abstract or general instruction in the things of God and the content of their Bible and Christian ethics and church history, but now personal application of those things to their own lives. See how he puts it, verse eleven.

16:09 How a father, with his own children, exhorting you and encouraging you and testifying to the end that you should walk worthily of God who calls you to his own glory and kingdom. You see, he's talking about individualized, personal exhortation, encouragement, testifying, bringing those principles to bear upon the specifics of those things that are important to them. He's talking about the life of that child. And then also, we must set an example for our children to follow.

16:54 That's why the apostle can say in Ephesians chapter five, verse one and following, Be imitators of God as beloved children. God has given us an example, and we as God's beloved children are to be imitators of God. And you see the point. The point is that we as parents are not merely to instruct, but by our very lives, we are to be a model to our children of the very things of which we are telling them with our lips.

17:31 So we must teach them, and we must be an example to them of how to pray, of devotion, of how to respond in trouble, of proper demeanor, of how to do good. Our children should see concrete examples of these things in our lives that they may, as beloved children, imitate us and learn to do as they have seen and heard us do with their own eyes and ears. Not simply learn to do what they've been told to do by our lips, but imitate to do what they have seen us do and heard us do with their eyes and with their ears. All right, first of all, we're responsible to structure.

Duties of Christian Parents: Encouraging, Expecting, and Enforcing Obedience

18:15 We're responsible to instruct our children in the ways of God and in the things of God. General instruction, specific, tailored, personal instruction, and our own personal example. Secondly, we are responsible to encourage, expect, and enforce. Encourage, expect, and enforce obedience to our religious training.

18:47 Encourage, expect, and enforce obedience to our religious training. For example, it's this which lies behind the requirement in Titus chapter 1 concerning the children of an elder. Titus chapter 1 and verse 6. If any man is blameless, the husband of one, the wife of one, the husband of one, the husband of one, the husband of one, the husband of one, the husband of one, the husband of one wife, the husband of one wife, having children, and the word probably here should be translated that are reliable, having children that are reliable, or children that believe, who are not accused of riot or unruly for the bishop must be blameless as God's steward. Now, what the bishop must be, every one of us ought to be. The bishop must be blameless. He must be blameless.

20:05 He must be one who has expected, encouraged, and enforced obedience to his standards of moral behavior in his home with regard to his minor children. He must be one who has done that. The pattern of the behavior of his children under his roof cannot be that they are unreliable, that they are those accused of riot or unruly. He must encourage, expect, and enforce obedience to his religious training.

20:47 We find the same thing mentioned in the Old Testament where very severe provision is made. It's made in the book of Deuteronomy for a son who will not have obedience to his parents' directives enforced. He's to be taken to the elders in cases of flagrant, prolonged disobedience and stoned. Now, I am not at all suggesting that the elders of the New Testament are responsible to exercise and enforce civil punishment. I'm not saying that.

21:23 But the principle that underlies... The principle that underlies that is that the parents are responsible not only to tell them what to do, not only to set an example for them, they cannot afford the luxury of taking a laissez-faire, hands-off policy and saying, well, son, well, daughter, this is what I've told you to do, but you go ahead and do as you please. No.

21:45 They must expect, they must encourage, and they must enforce obedience to their religious... training.

21:59 And this is why Eli was rebuked of God, because he rebuked his sons, but he did not restrain them. He spoke to them and said, my sons, why do you do this evil? But the Lord came to him and said, you did not restrain your children, and because you didn't restrain your children, because you didn't enforce that which you said by positive means of restraint, you have chosen them over me, God says, and I will punish you accordingly.

22:38 We must encourage, expect, and enforce obedience to our religious training. We see it not only in Titus 1, we see it not only in Deuteronomy, we see it not only in the case of Eli, we see it also in the case of Abraham in Genesis chapter 18. Genesis chapter 18. And in the context, God is contemplating revealing to Abraham that which he intends to do with respect to Sodom and Gomorrah, and he says in verse 17, Shall I hide from Abraham that which I do, seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him?

23:43 For I have known him to the end that he may command his children and his household, after him, that they may keep the way of Jehovah, to do righteousness and justice, to the end, that Jehovah may bring upon Abraham that which he has spoken of him. Now when Abraham speaks to his children, he is not to speak to them, and he will not speak to them simply with suggestions, simply by example, simply by modeling and hoping that they will, that they will somehow catch what is expected and desire to follow in Abraham's footsteps. No. It says that Abraham will take an authoritative stance. He will command. He will speak with imperative. It will be expected.

24:37 And if it is disobeyed, that commandment will be enforced.

24:42 He will speak with authority. He will speak with commandment. And also Joshua. In Joshua, the end of the book, Joshua chapter 24.

25:11 In Joshua, at the end of his life, speaking to the nation of Israel, and says to them in verse 14, Now therefore fear Jehovah, and serve him in sincerity and truth. Put away the gods which your fathers served beyond the river and in Egypt, and you serve the Lord. And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom you will serve, whether the gods or the prophets, or the gods of your fathers, whether the gods which your fathers served that were beyond the river, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

25:57 Now Joshua says, I speak for my house. I'm the spokesman with respect to the religious affiliation of my house. Now I know that we can argue around and around about the fact that it doesn't necessarily mean that there were any children in his house. But probably there were.

26:18 And the point is that Joshua is the spokesman. And he says, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. And you find this idea of the spokesman mentioned again and again in other ways. You find the fact that God recognizes this distinction between the spokesman and the minor children in Deuteronomy chapter 1 and verse 39.

26:53 Deuteronomy chapter 1 and verse 39 is in the book of Deuteronomy. Find a remarkable statement.

27:04 Chapter 1, verse 39.

27:10 He says, moreover, your little ones that you said should be a prey and your children that this day have no knowledge of good or evil, they shall go in there and unto them will I give it and they shall possess it. But as for you, turn, take your journey in the wilderness by the way of the Red Sea. Now this is a very interesting passage. And I suspect that much time could be spent opening up the meaning of it.

27:39 I don't believe it's teaching, as is often said, an age of accountability. I don't believe that's the meaning of the text at all. But it's teaching. But it is certainly making a distinction between those adult men of war who were numbered and who went under the judgment of God and their little ones.

27:57 Now there's a clear distinction. And the little ones are said to be those who have not the knowledge of good and evil. And I take it to mean that they were those who were not personally with their own voices involved in the transgression of the assembly of the world. They were not exclusively of Israel, but they were those who were under parental authority.

28:24 And you'll find also the same concept made in the New Testament of speaking for yourself when you come of age. John chapter 9 and verse 21 and also Moses, Hebrews chapter 11 and verse 24. John 9, 21 and Hebrews 11 and verse 24. Now in John 9, 21, this man had to make a decision and it was a very important decision because if he confessed that Jesus was the Christ, he was going to be put out of the synagogue and that was the issue.

29:06 And his parents were now put on the witness stand and his parents answered and said, we know this is our son, we know he was born blind and how he sees we don't know or who opened his eyes we don't know. He is of age, he shall speak for himself. He is of age, he can speak for himself. It's his responsibility to speak for himself because he is of age.

29:33 And a similar idea found also in Hebrews chapter 11 with respect to Moses. Hebrews 11 and verse 24.

29:50 Hebrews 11, 24 Though Moses was raised by Pharaoh's daughter, yet when he came of age he spoke for himself. And by faith Moses, when he was grown up, when he was come of age, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter, choosing rather to share ill treatment with the people of God rather to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season. So you put these passages together and the concept is, and this is the point I'm trying to make, it is when our children come of age, they leave our parental auspices and authority, they can speak for themselves, but when they are under our oversight and in our homes and under our parental authority as our minor children, we are responsible to encourage, to expect, and to enforce obedience to our religious training.

30:50 And this involves two areas. First of all, obedience from the passages that we've looked at, it involves obedience to the moral, moral behavior expected.

31:04 Titus 1, Deuteronomy 18, our son's a drunkard, he's a glutton, he won't listen, he won't behave in a way that we're saying he's supposed to behave. We've chastened him, we've sought to do everything in our power to enforce our parental commandments and he is stubborn and rebellious. Take him to the elders and he's stoned. He will not be chastened by parental authority.

31:30 Every effort, every effort has been made to enforce it, but when it fails, then in Israel, there was recourse to civil punishment.

31:42 Not only was this true in the Mosaic civil law, but Eli was faulted on this very point. But with respect to the case of Abraham and Joshua, it goes further. It extends not merely to moral behavior, it extends to religious practice. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord, and Abraham will command his children and they will keep the way of the Lord.

32:15 We will decide upon their religious practices. They will be in church, they will be in devotions, they will be upright and moral, they will give thanks to God, they will pray to the Lord, they will say sorry to men and to God when they sin. We are to encourage, expect and enforce obedience to our religious training. Now, this does not mean that we have to constantly live in an adversary-type relationship to our children.

32:57 I can here speak only from experience and I don't have anyone over five years old, so I can't speak about how this applies to teenagers and I'm not trying to. But I can simply say that I believe that everything I said before about my children, I believe that they're conceived and born in sin, et cetera, et cetera. And yet, I have not had to sustain an adversary relationship to them in order to get them to pray to the Lord and to have them be in devotions and to listen when the word of God is read. As a matter of fact, I've found that they've been quite open and receptive to the things that we've tried to teach them.

33:43 And especially, and I'm not trying to sell anything here, but we recently got a tape of Bible stories and they just listen to that thing constantly to the point where they, and nobody's sitting there forcing them to listen to Bible stories, but they listen to the tape constantly to the point where it almost becomes a little bit ad nauseum sometimes with some of these stories.

34:08 And they've got some of them, they just repeat them verbatim. Does that mean that they have regenerate hearts? I'm not prepared to assert it. But neither am I prepared to say that it's required to have an adversary relationship and constant tension with our children simply because we encourage and expect that they're going to do religious things.

34:30 That's just not realistic and it just doesn't ring true to what I've seen and experienced. Now again, I say, I don't have teenagers and I'm not claiming to tell you what to do about that situation, the age of adversity. But still, we are responsible to encourage, to expect and enforce obedience to our religious training. And isn't it interesting that this is really nothing more or less than the two prongs that you find again and again throughout the book of Proverbs.

35:04 It says, the rod and reproof give wisdom. The rod and reproof give wisdom. And what's the rod and reproof? The rod and reproof really is an expression of these two things.

35:17 These two arms, isn't it? Reproof, that's instruction and training and example and specific molding. And the rod, that's enforcement. That's the enforcer.

35:30 The rod and reproof. The instruction and the expectation, the enforcement, these two things must go hand in hand.

Duties of Christian Parents: Expectant Prayer for God's Blessing

35:41 The rod and reproof give wisdom. But then I have a third point under our duty and it is this. We must plead with God. We must plead with God to bless our faithful but far from perfect religious training.

36:14 And I should even say here expectantly.

36:20 We should expectantly plead with God to bless our faithful, sincere, but far from perfect religious and moral training of our children. We have much to encourage us. Remember the promises we saw that God is so often pleased in his kind providence to use that faithful parental reproof and enforcement to work wisdom and to work saving grace and to work common grace in the hearts of our children. Let's plead with God.

36:56 Plead with God to give them receptive minds and hearts. Plead with God to own our reproof. Our instruction. Plead with God to own our enforcements.

37:10 Plead with God. Pray to God. Because we cannot do this in our own strength. And when all is said and done we can teach them how they should pray.

37:20 We can enforce the fact that they must say their prayers and give thanks to God that they can't be ungrateful little heathens and pagans that that won't be tolerated. We can put that into their mouth. But we cannot infallibly ensure in any way, shape or form that our most sincere and loving training will go into their hearts. Only God can do that.

37:52 And God has been pleased to tell us. He's been pleased to tell us that his way is so often the activity of loving parents. Let us plead that God will use the means which he has ordained to achieve the ends. Let us plead that God will use the means which our hearts long to see.

38:11 That our children should go up to be on the one hand in common grace respectable and useful citizens on the other hand in special grace respectful and saved citizens of the kingdom of God.

Differing Attitudes: Presumptive Regeneration (Paedobaptist View)

38:28 Now the third point. The third point is what I've entitled different attitudes with which Christians approach the religious training of their children. The differing attitudes. Now I would like to submit to you that your attitude with respect to approaching this matter is revealed in the way that you answer two questions.

39:12 Two simple questions. And I should also say that although perhaps some of you have not heard these questions if you have children I suspect that you have heard these questions probably before they get to be age five. Maybe not. But I suspect that you have.

39:33 Question number one.

39:38 Where will I go when I die, Mommy? Where will I go when I die, Daddy? Mommy and Daddy are going to go to heaven. Where am I going to go?

39:48 I don't want to go to hell. Where will I go? Will I go to heaven too?

39:54 Question number one. Question number two.

39:59 Am I a Christian too, Mommy? Am I a Christian too, Daddy?

40:05 Ever heard those questions?

40:07 No? Are my kids the only ones that ever ask them?

40:12 Well, then at least I'll tell you my problems.

40:18 Well, how do you answer those questions? As far as I'm concerned those are important questions. Vital questions. Now, what parent wants to say to his child, you're going to go to hell?

40:30 Do you want to say that? Not me. I don't want to say that. Now, if it's true I have to say it.

40:35 But I don't want to say it. Nobody wants to say that. Everybody wants to say you're going to go to heaven just like us. The problem is some of us can't say it just like that with good conscience.

40:49 What do you do? Well, those are the underlying questions that I think Christians have had to face for 2,000 years because I doubt that the nature of children has changed too much over that time.

41:01 And different approaches to these things have arisen in the Church of Christ. And I would like to outline some of these approaches. Differing perspectives. Perspective number one is what I call the perspective of presumptive regeneration.

41:20 The perspective of presumptive regeneration. Now, when all is said and done this is the characteristic of most paedobaptists. This is the way they approach these issues.

41:34 Not all of them, I grant it, but most of them even if they do not teach that presumptive regeneration is the basis for baptism. Now, those are two different things. It's one thing to teach that presumptive regeneration is the basis for infant baptism. That's a totally different issue.

41:52 We're not talking about that now. It's another thing to say that when you come to grips with these very practical questions which our own precious children press upon our consciences and hearts that we approach the whole matter with respect to the perspective of presumptive regeneration. That's the first thing. That's the point.

42:14 Now, in this there are various degrees and shades. But how would you answer the first question? If I die, where will I go? Well, in that context where the child has been baptized into the covenant of grace according to the canons of the Synod of Dort Article 17 under Head 1 the fact that they have been baptized indicates that they will go to heaven because they will go to heaven.

42:46 Because they will go to heaven. Because they will go to heaven. Because they will go to heaven. Because they are included in the covenant of grace.

42:51 And this is an evangelical form of the Roman Catholic teaching which is perhaps more consistent and it is that all of those baptized in virtue of their baptism go to heaven and all of those not baptized go to hell. And then they have designed a special hell for infants in which there's no suffering, etc. down the road.

43:16 Now, the second point is that there is a different gospel to be preached then to our children as opposed to that gospel which we preach to proselytes or to the unconverted in general. Now, I'd like to quote from Marcel's book page 135 of Marcel The Biblical Doctrine of Infant Baptism. He says this. He says, For our young people, they should never, be considered as proselytes.

43:55 Since they have been born into the covenant, children and young people and also adults, though overtaken by the evil of life and tormented by religious questions, are not and should never be considered as proselytes. For them, the content of our message is not the same as that which we address to proselytes. Now, why not? Since, they are within the covenant, the promises which concern them, the demands of God, now listen to this, the possibility of their responding to them and also their responsibility are quite different. The promises, their responsibility and their ability to respond is quite different from the unconverted at large. Now, does he really mean that, the total inability has been removed from our children? Yes, that is precisely what he means.

44:59 Page 109, he speaks concerning this matter. He says, The covenant is more than a simple offer of salvation and more than an offer of salvation to which the promise concerning faith in the gospel has been added. It affords the assurance founded on the promises of God, that God will work within the children of the covenant where and when it pleases him. God, according to the promise, restores liberty of choice to the children of the covenant.

45:39 With the result that confronted with the alternative of life or death, they are able, voluntarily and freely, to embrace the one, or the other. And then, he goes on to say, based upon this, page 226 of the same book, that children in the covenant not only have had total inability removed, which is to me, just a reformed doctrine with respect to everyone else and an Arminian doctrine with regard to our own children, but also, he goes even further to speak about the rights of the children in the covenant. And he says on page 226 that baptism signifies the spiritual rights of the child in the covenant. The child has a right to the fulfillment of the promises. He has a right to fellowship with Christ.

46:50 He has a right to citizenship in the church with the people of God. He has a right to eternal life. He has a right to pardon. He has a right to be instructed in the works and commandments of God.

47:08 He has a right to the obedience of his parents to the commands which God gives and shall give them for his education and also to their prayers. But particularly to say he has a right to eternal life. He has a right to forgiveness. Now, no one has a right to forgiveness.

47:31 Not me, not you, not my children, not your children. Nobody has a right to forgiveness. Nobody has a right to forgiveness. We all deserve to go to hell.

47:47 We do not have a different message for our children. We do not tell our children you don't deserve to go to hell. You have a right to forgiveness. You have a right to eternal life because you're my child, you're my seed.

48:00 We don't dare say that. And furthermore, we don't dare say that our children have been given prevenient grace so that they have the ability to do what God commands them. They have in their own strength by the grace of God the ability to repent, the ability to believe, the ability to respond to that which God requires of them in the covenant. Now, that is nothing other than Wesleyan Arminianism, transferred from all men in general to our own children in particular.

48:38 That's nothing more or less than that. That's all it is. Now, that's one attitude. And Birkhoff, on page 288 of his Systematic Theology, says with regard to this attitude that we are to regard them as Christian children and we are to assume that they are saved until by heresy or gross immorality, they prove the other.

Differing Attitudes: Presumptive Innocence and Easy Believism

49:11 All right. Point number one, presumptive regeneration and all of its fruits. Secondly, second approach is what I've called presumptive innocence coupled with easy believism. Presumptive innocence coupled with easy believism.

49:34 This is built on that passage in Deuteronomy chapter one about the age of accountability. And how do you answer those questions that the children ask? Children, will I, Daddy, will I go to heaven? Will I die?

49:47 Well, of course you will. You're below the age of accountability. If we can define the age of accountability, whatever we like. I suggest to those who use this approach that in the passage in Deuteronomy chapter one, if it's speaking about an age of accountability, that the age of accountability is 20 years of age.

50:05 So your teenagers are safe too. If you're going to take that approach. Because the age of accountability there would be 20.

50:15 Now, as long then as they're below the age of accountability, as long as they're below the age of accountability, then there's nothing to worry about. Everything is all right. And also then, in their knowledge, we are to think of them as those in sort of a state of moral neutrality. And this almost becomes a Pelagianism.

50:39 Which indicates, again, that the children are morally neutral and like Adam can choose one way or the other. Again, this is built upon an Arminian perspective. It's even worse than what we just read. It's Pelagian.

50:56 And then, this is mixed to decisionism. So that just to make sure, at a very early age, the requirement is that the child says the sinner's prayer and simply repeats after, after you. And of course, as child evangelism can prove to you, most children will say the sinner's prayer. I mean, my children, of course, would give no resistance to that at this age.

51:23 And that if you're going to decision children, there's really nobody that's easier to decision than a child. And it's really probably one of the cruelest things you can do to a child, as far as I'm concerned. And it's probably the easiest thing to do too. All right, so you have put together presumptive, innocence and easy believism going along with its shallow expectations.

51:47 And this is the decisionism mentality, which decisions the children before they're seven years old and then everything is taken care of. And you can say to them, are you a Christian? Well, yes, of course you are. And will you go to heaven?

51:58 Well, yes, of course you will. Let's not even bother ever to discuss those questions again. Now, the third perspective is what I've called presumptive wickedness. Presumptive wickedness.

Differing Attitudes: Presumptive Wickedness (Hyper-Calvinist View)

52:13 What's this? Well, now, this is characteristic, believe it or not, of some paedobaptists and also of some hyper-Calvinists, and also some Baptists too. And it comes along from the position that our children are born dead in sins, that they are totally depraved and possessed with total inability. Foolishness is bound in the heart of the child.

52:36 Furthermore, it's built upon this determination that I will not assert that my child is a Christian until I see positive proofs of regeneration. Even the child makes himself known by his doings, whether his ways are pure, whether it be right. It's not always so simple to tell. There's childlike credulity.

52:57 There's a desire to please the parents. There's the determination to imitate. And it's not always so easy to sort all these things out. But even a child makes himself known by his doings.

53:08 And I will not assert my child to be a Christian until such time as I see positive fruits of regeneration. There's the element of truth upon which it's founded. Now, then they say this. Therefore, because the child has a wicked heart in him by birth, because he's totally depraved, totally unable, and I cannot assert him to be a Christian until I see positive fruits of regeneration, therefore I will not allow my child to pray.

53:35 Because even the prayer of the wicked is an abomination to the Lord. Or I won't allow him to pray in Jesus' name. And I won't allow him to sing certain hymns which presuppose faith and trust in Christ. I'll never allow him to put those words in his mouth.

53:50 He can't sing, my Jesus, I love thee. Because I have to say to him, you don't love Jesus. You hate Jesus. He can't sing, my Jesus, I love thee.

53:59 And he can't sing, Jesus loves me. Can't sing that. Because I don't know that Jesus loves him. I don't know if he's elect.

54:07 So he can't sing that. Now, this, I say, is presumptive wickedness. And this is also wrong. It's wrong.

54:20 You know what it is? It's the flip side of the Arminianism of that presumptive regeneration approach. It's hyper-Calvinism. It's the exact opposite of hyper-Calvinism.

54:35 It's because it's the exact application of hyper-Calvinism to this issue. Because it says, children have no ability in themselves to respond. Therefore, they are not responsible to do it. The Arminian says, if they're to be responsible to do it, and they are, then they must have the ability to do it.

54:56 That's just exactly what he was teaching in his book. And now these people say no, because they don't have the ability. Therefore, they're not responsible to do it. And we can't expect them to do it.

55:07 That's wrong, too. The point is, it is never right to sin, no matter who does it, no matter when, no matter where. Total inability is no excuse for sin in anybody, in an adult, in a child, or in anybody else. So in closing, I have a minute left.

A Better Way: Realistic and Optimistic Uncertainty

55:23 Actually, I have minus one minute. But I'll take less than a minute. I submit to you that there's an element of truth to be found in all of these positions. And I would like to suggest to you a better and more biblical way, what I call realistic and optimistic uncertainty.

55:49 Realistic and optimistic uncertainty. All right, there's an element of truth. We must expect and teach proper religious behavior from our children in spite of total depravity and in spite of total inability. And we must optimistically hope, expect, and pray for God's blessing upon our parental efforts.

56:12 And we must plead the promises of God concerning our children without baptizing our children. And we must hold on to the truth that we cannot assert their regenerate unless we see positive fruits and realistic indications. Even a child makes himself known by his doings. But neither can we assert that they're heathens, even if we see their obedience to our religious training, even though we expect that religious obedience and we'll tolerate anything else.

56:49 So how do we treat them? Well, we have to treat them like children. And the time will come when they can speak for themselves. But as for now, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

57:04 Will I go to heaven, Daddy? If you believe in Jesus, you will. Am I a Christian too? Someday, honey, when you're of age, you can speak for yourself.

57:16 But for now, our house will serve the Lord. Frankly, I don't know. Here is what you must do to be saved. Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved.

57:31 Confess your sins to God. Confess your sin. Go upstairs and pray to God and confess your sin to the Lord and ask him to forgive you from your sin. Not just once.

57:40 Keep on confessing your sins. And I can put the Lord in your life. I can put the language of repentance and faith in your mouth. And I will.

57:49 But I can't put it in your heart. Only God can do that. And the sincerity of your heart, that God will reveal in his time. If you believe in the Lord Jesus, you'll go to heaven, not to hell.

58:03 And the Lord Jesus is offered to you, my dear child, just like he's offered to me. Freely. And he's offered to you immediately. You believe in him and you'll be saved.

Conclusion: Prayer for Grace in Parenting

58:15 Are you a Christian? Someday, when you're of age, you can speak for yourself. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Our Father, we give you thanks for our precious children.

58:38 Thank you for giving them to us and entrusting them to us in your grace. Bless you, O God, for your mercy, your kindness. We pray, Lord, as we wrestle through this difficult subject, which you know touches the very heartstrings of your people. We pray that you'll give us grace to do it.

58:55 We pray to be faithful parents, to teach our children, to train them, to do everything that we can biblically, lovingly, and realistically, knowing their frame, that they are dust and that they are just children, to enforce the things which we believe are right, and that we will plead with you for your grace to own them to their hearts. Oh, give us grace, Lord, our God, that we may behave in a way that honors you with respect to the eternal souls of your children. Amen. Amen.

59:26 Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

59:30 Amen.