Dealing with Our Awakened Children, Part 1

Introduction: The Need to Address Spiritually Awakened Children

0:02 This adult Sunday school class was held on February 15, 1987, at the Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey.

0:12 As I sought to know the Lord's will with respect to what subject matter to take up today, since I am more or less pinch-hitting in this class, there were several pastoral counseling experiences which led me to believe that the time had come to address the following subject. How to deal with our spiritually awakened children. How to deal with our spiritually awakened children. Now, first of all, let me explain the terminology.

0:49 Our little ones in the providence of God are surrounded by the influences of the truth of the Word of God. From their earliest consciousness, we tell them that their misdeeds, our sin, when they say no with a stuck-out lip, and when they strike out in anger at brother or sister, and when they lie, we bring to those behavior patterns the absolute moral norms of the Word of God. And we begin to hone their consciences by the Scripture with respect to the matter of sin. Furthermore,

1:34 we seek to instruct them that God sees them in every circumstance. Sometimes, we do that when we are seeking to show them that there is no way in which they can sin without the knowledge of God. Sometimes we tell them that when they begin to be afraid of the dark. We comfort them with the knowledge that God is there in the dark.

1:55 The dark and the light are both a light to Him. And God watches over them. God cares for all of His creatures. We begin to press upon their consciousness, not only the Biblical doctrine of sin as we evaluate their conduct and actions and reactions, but the great truth that they are in the presence of God, under the eye of God.

2:20 They are answerable to God. We teach them when they ask the question, why is it so easy to do bad things and so hard to do good things? We teach them they have bad hearts. They have evil hearts.

2:34 And furthermore, we instruct them that when they sin, they are under obligation to repent and say sorry to God. They are under obligation to say sorry to brother or sister, mummy or daddy. That they are under obligation to seek God's forgiveness through the Lord Jesus Christ. Well then, in addition to that kind of instruction that we bring to bear upon them from the dawn of their consciousness, and even before that, in a home, they are more formally taught the truth of Scripture at family worship.

3:09 When using Bible story books, or as they get older, perhaps the Scriptures themselves, they are brought into direct contact with the Word of God. They sit in Sunday school classes from age three onward, in which the Word of God is brought to bear upon them by instruction, by memorization, by teaching them Bible-based, hymns. Then, they come under the preaching of the Word. By the time they are three years old, they are no longer allowed in the nursery, and you begin to have them sit with you in the special presence of God and His gathered people, and they begin to have preaching hurled into their ears.

3:52 And then some, in addition to that, also have the benefit of attending a Christian school, where all of the disciplines of general education are taught, taught from the perspective of the Bible and its view of reality, and then all of the other things taught in the home and church are enforced in the context of the social interaction in the school, so that when the kids have a fight, it's not looked upon as a normal, acceptable behavior pattern. Kids will be kids they are dealt with as sinners, whose fight was rooted in sin and demands repentance toward God and faith toward the Lord Jesus.

4:37 Furthermore, we rightly impose Biblical duties upon them, because the Scripture tells us we are to nurture them in the admonition of the Lord. Now, many times this goes on with little or no apparent indication that any of these things are taking hold in their own felt consciousness. We teach them about their sin, we teach them about God, we teach them about Christ, we teach them about repentance and faith, and all of these things, but there is little to indicate that any of this has taken hold in their own consciousness. They may not sit there when we have family worship

5:21 and make faces and go, because they know better. They'd have their bottoms spanked and we wouldn't tolerate it. But when we're talking about these things, there's no light of recognition. There's no desire to discuss these things.

5:34 It is as though they are utterly unresponsive and insensitive to these realities. But then, sometimes gradually, sometimes triggered by the death of a relative, by an understorm, by a thousand and one things, they begin to be awakened to all of these realities with which they've been surrounded. There begins to be an understanding and evidence of an awareness of these realities that goes beyond the mere words that we've been impressing upon their souls by way of the ear gate. And they may begin to ask such questions as these,

6:15 Mommy, Daddy, how do I know if I have a new heart? I ask God for a new heart, but I still sin. What's wrong? Doesn't God hear me?

6:27 Or, as in the case of one of our families, another one may begin to say, I'm afraid to go to sleep at night because I might die. And I'm afraid if I die I'll go to hell because I don't know if my sins are forgiven and if I have a new heart. Or, it may be that when they pray, we begin to discover that in their prayers, something is coming out of them beyond what we've put in them. There's a perception, a hunger, an expression of desire for God, an insight to spiritual realities, that goes far beyond merely parroting what we've told them they ought to say when they pray.

The Parental Dilemma: Fears and Apprehensions in Counseling

7:05 There is an awakening in them with respect to spiritual realities. Now, when I use the term how to deal with our spiritually awakened children, I am talking about children who fit the description I have just now taken about five minutes to set before you. Now, such awakening in our children ought to be expected, we ought to pray for it, we ought to rejoice when it comes. But when it comes, we become spiritual, if I may say it,

7:50 neurosurgeons, where we are dealing with the scalpel of truth in areas where one's sleep can be fatal. And when you have had a real live awakened child in your home, you feel very comfortable and very keenly as a parent your utter incompetence to handle this delicate awakened mind and soul. And so the question presses in upon you to the point where you get desperate enough to get on the phone and call the pastor and say, can you help me? Well, enough of you have called in recent days to indicate that the time is now

8:34 to address the subject. How are we to deal with our spiritually awakened children? Now, as I usually do when I leave the class, I want to guide the discussion, at least at certain points, and to get us moving in a given direction, I will throw out some leading questions. And question number one is this.

8:55 When we attempt to counsel our spiritually awakened children, what are our greatest fears and apprehensions? You parents think for a minute. When we begin to counsel our spiritually awakened children, what are our greatest fears and apprehensions? And some of you who have been down this road, I'm sure you can answer with very little reflection.

9:32 The fears and apprehensions are very, very memorable to you if you've passed through them. If you're in the midst of them, they are very real to your consciousness as you sit here this morning. All right, what are our greatest fears? We fear lest we should put the child in a position of total despair.

9:49 And how could we do that? We could put them in despair if we simply continue to pressure the conscience with the awareness of sin, but do not set Christ before them. And so we fear lest we should drive them to despair. All right, any other fears we have as parents?

10:06 We fear that we should give them too quick an assurance that they're saved, which would lead us to the other end of the spectrum, which is what? What's the other end of the spectrum of despair, if we put it in one word? Presumption. We fear lest we should lead our children into presumption, that is, that they would presume they are in a state of grace, when in reality they are not.

10:34 Now, not knowing how many you would come up with, I had room here to write in some that I didn't, but you know which two I put down? We are afraid to encourage presumption or a false hope, and number two, we are equally fearful of producing a helpless despair or discouragement. So you came in right on target. So that means I was on target in analyzing my own fears as a parent in the past, the fears that I have heard echoed by you parents as I've tried to get pastoral input and help.

11:06 These, I believe, are indeed the two great fears. There may be other fears that others may have occasionally, but I believe if a survey were done among biblically intelligent Christian parents, we would find that here are the two great fears. We are afraid to encourage presumption or a false hope. We do not want it said of us in the language of Jeremiah 6.14,

11:33 they have healed slightly the hurt of the daughter of my people, saying, peace, peace, when there is no peace. And many of us come out of a background in which we have seen presumption and false hopes generated by a decisionism among children that has utterly appalled us. Pastor Barker was in a situation just last week when I went over with the men in the elders' meeting last night, basically what I was proposing to do. He said, oh, how relevant it is.

12:07 He said, just this past weekend, I talked with people who had either children or themselves were in periods of lengthy, open, blatant rebellion against God, His law, His word, His people, His ways, et cetera, and yet they had the audacity to say, never once did I doubt I was in a state of grace. A blatant expression of false hope and a presumption rooted in the fact that they remember when they made a, quote, decision at age four, age six, age seven, age ten, age eleven, and somebody told them, if you have sincerely believed and you have truly asked Christ into your heart, you are a Christian, nothing you can do or ever will do can undo it. You're in.

12:50 And many of us, perhaps, have met both teenagers and adults convinced that all is well because of a decision made, a prayer prayed, a ritual undergone, and they are totally devoid of any evidences of grace. And we reason this way. We'd rather have our kids doubting but safe rather than assured but lost. If they have doubts that they're in grace, but they really are in grace, they'll still go to heaven.

13:21 They may not go with all the bells ringing, but they'll get there. But if they're confident all is well when it isn't, hell will be the great unveiling of their folly. So we fear, and we ought to fear, the horrible possibility of aiding and abetting a state of presumption or false hope. But, on the other hand, we are equally fearful of producing a hopeless despair or discouragement because some of us have seen that this can lead to severe emotional scars.

13:58 It can lead to personality alteration. It can lead to cynicism. I prayed. I asked God to save me.

14:08 I did it for three, four years. He never heard me, never did anything. There's nothing real. Or it can lead, as some of you know from your background, to a passivity of hyper-Calvinism, waiting for the divine zapping.

14:22 I'm a sinner. I'm totally unable. I am dead. Oh, God, zap me.

14:30 And we know that that's real. For some of you, hyper-Calvinism is not just a big word. It's a horrible, ugly, chain-like, vice-like system of thought that holds people in its grip. It held some of you in its grip.

14:47 For a long, long time. And so we fear. We fear those twin evils. All right?

Essential Theological Perspectives for Parents: What Must We Know?

14:57 That being so, then that brings us to question number two. When giving counsel to spiritually awakened children, what things are most important in the heart and mind of the parent? So let me set up the structure this way. Here are the parents, and here are the kids.

15:25 A little guy, and we got a little girl. I still put skirts and dresses on girls. I try to get through my anti-unisex theology in my stick figures. All right?

15:41 Now, my question is this. When these parents begin to give counsel to these spiritually awakened children, now remember, that's all we're dealing with. We're not talking about the general instruction of Christian parents to their children. Some of that will be woven into the unfolding of our response to some of these things, but we're thinking especially now when a parent or parents seek to give counsel to spiritually awakened children.

16:14 See how I phrased the question? What things are most important in the hearts and minds of the parents? What things are most important in the hearts and minds of these parents? What must they know and understand if their counsel is to be wise, biblical counsel?

16:48 There's our Bible. They must understand that the children are sinners against God and not primarily against them as parents. Okay? What else?

17:03 The heart is deceitful and can put on the form of deep spiritual concern when in reality it may be just childish concern. Subtle form of wanting to please the parents to show some kind of spiritual interest. Is it wrong for kids to want to please mommy and daddy? If you think it is, just read the book of Proverbs and see how many times Solomon says, my son do this and it will make the heart of your father and mother glad.

17:29 This whole notion that you shouldn't motivate your children with the motive of pleasing parents, it never came out of the Bible. It's ridiculous. It's one of the primary motives set forth in the shaping of the behavior of children. So we've got to be aware of the deceitfulness of the human heart because what is a perfectly legitimate motive may become in terms of their spiritual response.

17:55 All right, what else have we got to know? They must understand God's plan of salvation. In what sense? In understanding God's plan of salvation, you're saying not just know what some have called the Roman road, you know, a simple little presentation of the gospel, but understand that it's God who saves and if our children are ever to be saved, God must do it by an act of sovereign, divine intervention in their lives.

18:20 All right, what else must the parents know in their minds and hearts? We've got to understand something of the method of grace. All right, you get that? We're going to come back to that because that's absolutely vital.

18:34 In fact, it's one of the three categories into which I hope to pour all of the things that you give me. We must have in our minds and hearts not just a generic perception of kids, but a peculiar understanding of our own children. One may be unusually, naturally sensitive, conceived in the womb with a sensitive temperament, introspective, reflective temperament, as opposed to the other who shares the same womb, happy-go-lucky, just out of care in the world. You know, one of these, wakes up in the morning, bounces out of bed, whatever.

19:16 You say, have they come out of the same womb? And more than once, you wish you could put them back in and scramble and hope that something of his would spill off here and something there. My wife and I have said that more than once. Put certain two of our kids back in the womb and shake them up and hope that something would rub off on one and on the other.

19:37 All right, so you've got to have a realistic, honest assessment of the particular personality, temperament, mental, emotional, caste and substance of your children. That's right. Okay, what else? Here we have to have an understanding of what is judicious in any given situation so that we avoid either being overly aggressive and thereby moving them perhaps in a direction of closing up or presumption or being not aggressive enough.

20:15 And there again, we've got to have the general commodity of wisdom, which is the ability to take knowledge and use it appropriately in a given set of circumstances. All right, what else must we as parents know and understand? We ourselves have got to have an accurate understanding not only of the plan of salvation in terms of what Belton was emphasizing, that God must do the saving, but also of how that salvation comes to expression in its ongoing dimensions. And one of them is reckoning with the reality of remaining sin.

20:52 Well, I'm sure if we fish for the rest of the hour, and we've only got, believe it or not, 20 minutes left, we'd get many things. But I want to get well started on our way of setting before you, and this is not something I've come to hastily. It's really the fruit of many, many years of parental wrestling, of wrestling as a pastor, to give you a little idea of what I go through when I'm doing my initial preparation. I'll let you peek over my shoulder at my desk.

21:19 And when I began working at this, here's some of my study sheets and diagrams, and jotting down all the miscellaneous things, trying to organize them, trying to visually conceptualize them, and then saying, Lord, why in the world did I ever get into something like this? It's over my head, it's beyond me, and yet after continuing to pray and wrestle and think and seeking counsel from one or two, of my fellow elders, I believe God has helped me to at least organize some of these things in such a way that I trust you will find them helpful. Now in answer then to the question, when giving counsel to spiritually awakened children,

22:01 what things are most important in the heart and mind of the parent? You see, what we're really doing is we are asking what theological perspectives must be understood, because our methodology in presenting the gospel and in telling people what they should do in response to the gospel, our message and our method are always a reflection of our theology. Our methodology is the extension into the experience of our theology.

22:45 So we have got to have then a sound or accurate Bible-based theology of the vital issues directly involved in such counsel. What must we know and believe in order to give proper counsel to our children? I answer that question by saying we must have first of all a sound or accurate Bible-based theology of the vital issues directly involved in such counsel. Now, you have heard me say in the past, and I've just repeated it, our theology determines

23:27 our message and our methods. Well, when the awakened child asks his questions, the parent wants to know what to say. And when the child says, what do I do, the parent wants to give him sound biblical directives. Do I pray with him?

23:46 Do I pray for him? Do I encourage him to pray? Do I point out verses for him to quote, claim? Do I put a prayer in his or her mouth?

23:55 This is a question of methodology and as always, it is rooted in theology. So if you as a parent are to deal wisely and faithfully and lovingly with the souls of your little ones, you must have a Bible-based theology of the vital issues involved in the context of an awakened child. Now, I did not say you must know the original languages. I did not say you must have a grasp on the technical language of the textbook theological statements.

24:35 No, what I did say is you must have an accurate, a sound, a healthy Bible-based theology of the vital issues involved. And now I want to say something very bluntly. If you are too lazy or too indifferent to do whatever you can do to acquire such a sound Bible-based theology of the issues involved, then you manifest an indifference to the salvation of the souls of your children. If you are too lazy to acquire a healthy, biblical theology of the issues involved

25:19 in dealing with your children, you are manifesting, if not a total absence, a woeful lack of any genuine love for your children. You see, one of the benefits of a sound Biblical ministry is that it is continually equipping you with this very thing. Ephesians 4 says, God has given pastors and teachers for the perfecting of the saints unto the work of service. So if you are an intelligent, prayerful, absorptive Christian under a sound Biblical ministry, you are by degrees acquiring a sound theology, not only for how to conduct

26:03 your life at work and in the society and in the neighborhood, but how to conduct yourself in responding to the cry for help from your awakened children. Now then, what categories of truth are involved in having this sound Biblical theology? What things are involved as they relate to dealing with children? Well, let me suggest that the categories of truth, as I've tried to reflect upon them and organize them, concerning which you must have some understanding and heart conviction if you're going to deal faithfully with your children, are these.

Category 1: The Natural Condition of Children (Spiritually and Domestically)

26:47 Category number one. You must have some understanding of the natural condition of your children. You must have a grasp on what the Scripture teaches about the natural condition of your children. You must have a grasp on what the Bible teaches about the natural condition of your children.

27:03 And I would break that down, category number one, the natural condition of your children into two subheadings, or you may want to put A and B. Number one, their condition spiritually and their condition or position domestically. Spiritually, what is their condition? Well, the Scripture tells us in Ephesians 2, 1-3 that they are dead in sin.

27:29 They are conceived and born spiritually dead. Secondly, they are guilty in Adam, Romans 5, 12. If you have any silly notion that you're waiting for them to reach an age of accountability, get that notion out of your head. It's not found in the Bible.

27:49 Romans 5, 12 says wherefore as through one man sin entered into the world and death by sin and so death passed upon all men for that all sinned. And when did they all sin? They all sinned in Adam. By the one man's disobedience the many were constituted sinners.

28:10 Now granted, there is a dawning of moral consciousness in a child. The Bible recognizes that. The book of Jonah ends with the statement that there are so many children who do not know the left hand from the right as there is a dawning of intellectual consciousness and moral consciousness. But that is not to say that there is an age of accountability up until which the child has no standing legally before God either of acceptance or of guilt.

28:43 No. They are conceived in guilt. They are born in guilt. That's the teaching of the Bible.

28:50 And if you are going to give biblical counsel to your children who are awakened, you better understand that. That they are dead in sin. They are guilty in Adam. Furthermore, they are guilty for their own specific sins.

29:07 All we like sheep have gone astray. The wages of sin is death. Romans 6.23 When they stick out their lip and say no to mummy and daddy, long before God they can create sentences.

29:22 That is sin. Even with a little kid in diapers. Well, unless somebody can rewrite my Bible, that's what my Bible teaches. They stand in desperate need of having a new heart that is being regenerated.

29:39 John 3.3 John 3.5 6.8 That which is born of the flesh is flesh.

29:46 They stand in need of having a new record. They need to be justified. They need to have their sins forgiven and they need to have a righteousness credited to their account if they are to be accepted with God. Now that is their condition spiritually.

30:01 Now woe be unto the parent who seeks to give counsel to an awakened child who does not understand those fundamental strands of biblical teaching about the nature of every single child, the position of every single child in the light of the word of God. If you have any waffling on that, you're going to be a spiritual butcher instead of a spiritual surgeon. But then, and this is where I trust you'll listen carefully because many of you have come out of a context where this will sound strange. You must understand the natural condition of your children not only spiritually but domestically.

30:41 Now remember, this is children born into a Christian home. Children surrounded by Christian nurture with a mother and father committed to Christ as Savior and Lord. What is their position? Well, it's a position in which they are all under your authority and rule by divine appointment.

31:04 Almighty God has made you their rulers, their governors, their heads. And he has embedded in the fifth commandment your rights of authority over your children. So he says to the children, honor your father, and your mother. He says further that that honoring in an age of minority is most clearly expressed in Ephesians 6, children obey your parents.

31:35 So their natural condition is one of being placed under your authority and rule by divine appointment. Furthermore, they stand in a position where until they are adults, now hear me carefully, they have no God-given right to choose the kind of life they'll live. Pastor Martin, you're talking in a democratic society. I don't care.

32:04 My Bible says that the children born into a home of Christian parents stand in a position where until they are adults, they have no God-given right to choose the kind of life they will live. Rather, their lifestyle is determined by God's word and God's providence that put them under your rule where you are to impose prayerfully and authoritatively the rule of God in your home. Ephesians 6, 4 Fathers, nurture your children

32:46 in the chastening and admonition of the Lord. You are to guide them into behavior patterns by rewards and punishments, by instruction that is authoritative, the chastening and the admonition, and it's all to be done under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. The whole book of Proverbs. My son, and then he doesn't say here are two alternatives, take your choice.

33:15 He says, my son, here's the way of life, here's the way of death, choose the way of life. This is the path set before you. This is the path as your father I would impose upon you. Joshua said in Joshua 24, 15 As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

33:35 Hey, wait a minute, Joshua, aren't you going to take a vote? He said, no. As long as they're under my roof and I stand under the canopy of God's authority, I choose who this house serves. And as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

33:51 Deuteronomy 6, 6 and 7. Deuteronomy 11, 18 and 19. Deuteronomy 21, 18 and following. What happened when some kid said, well, I'm going to choose my own way.

34:01 God said, take him out and stone him. That's what God did in Israel. Why? He was underscoring the principle that the natural condition of your children is one in which God Himself authorizes you to impose upon them biblical laws and laws and laws and laws and laws and laws and laws and laws and biblical norms and standards.

34:26 Now, parents, if you don't understand that, you will never give the right counsel to your awakened children. You'll never give the right counsel. Never. So you've got to understand that.

34:36 That's the first category of biblical theology concerning which you've got to be straight. Their natural condition spiritually is one of death and guilt, wrath and condemnation. Domestically, it is one of the most important and most powerful and most powerful and most powerful changes in your life that you have to make to be you and your children. The second category you've got to understand, category two, is this, the sovereign provisions of God's grace for our children.

Category 2: The Sovereign Provisions of God's Grace for Children

35:18 And those sovereign provisions of grace fall again into two categories. and offered to sinners in the gospel. The blessings provided for sinners and offered to sinners in the gospel. John 3.16

35:36 God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. All of the blessings of salvation, the objective, the subjective, justification, regeneration, all that is needed to make people accepted before the court of God and fit for the presence of God are blessings stored up in Christ. Ephesians 1.3 And all of the blessings stored up in Christ are offered freely to all to whom the gospel comes without distinction, including our children.

36:18 And if we are to be wise counselors to our children, especially our awakened children, we must know something of the sovereign provisions of God's grace for our children. First of all, the blessings provided for sinners as sinners and offered to all men in the gospel as sinners. Not as elect sinners, but as just plain old sinners. For Acts 17.30 says

36:50 God commands all men everywhere to repent. And 1 John 3.23 And this is His commandment that we should believe on the name of His own. Only begotten Son.

37:01 But then you've also got to understand and you'll see the parallel that in God's provisions of grace for our children, they not only have the blessings provided for sinners and offered in the gospel to be set before them, but the blessings provided in Christian nurture.

37:22 You've got to understand that God has sovereignly placed them within the orbit of that peculiar privilege of Christian nurture. Now, in that context, the duties of the law are taught and externally enforced. As a Christian parent, you both teach and enforce the duties of the law, don't you? I hope you do.

37:48 You can't give them a hard obedience, but you enforce external obedience to the law. But now follow me closely. In this context of Christian nurture, we not only enforce the duties of the law, but the duties of the gospel are taught and enforced.

38:09 We make our children repent for their sins.

38:13 When they sin, what do we do? We say, now you sinned against God, you've got to say sorry to God. I don't want to. You've got to.

38:24 Well, I don't feel like it. I don't care what you feel like. You've sinned against God. Now you say to God, God, I'm sorry I sinned against you.

38:34 Sorry, sinned against you. Good. Now, you're going to force them to believe.

38:42 Horrors. Yes, you're going to enforce the language and the actings insofar as you can of faith in Christ. Now you ask God to forgive you for Jesus' sake. You ask God to forgive you because Jesus died on the cross.

39:00 You enforce the faith. They're under obligation to repent and believe when they sin. They're under obligations to repent and believe. And you are God's evangelist to continually tell them that.

39:23 Say, Pastor, that sounds radical. Well, you show me how you can do anything else if you're doing what Ephesians 6-4 says. Nurture them in the chastening and admonition of the Lord. What does the Lord say to them in His Word when they sin?

39:38 He says, repent and believe, doesn't He? Doesn't He? Does He say, oh, well, it doesn't matter, you're a kid, you don't need to repent and believe until you get to be 12? Where's that in the Bible?

39:51 No. Well, who is His instrument to enforce then not only the duties of the law, but the duties of the Gospel? Well, you are. And so you say, you must say sorry to God.

40:06 You must say sorry to brother or sister. Sorry to mommy or daddy. And you must cry to God to forgive you for Jesus' sake. You must ask God to forgive you because Jesus died on the cross for sinners.

40:20 And that blessing of Christian nurture, and by Christian nurture I mean the gracious presence and the prayerful but authoritative imposition upon the child of the duties of the law and the Gospel. You've got to understand that, parent. And if you don't, you'll never be in a position to give biblical counsel to your kids. You've got to understand that.

Category 3: The Ordinary Method of Grace in Christian Nurture

40:46 And then hastily, in the third place, because I want to at least sketch this in and then hopefully as you think about it during the week, you'll come loaded with all kinds of questions as I try to get into the practice. You see, I haven't dealt with the practice. I started out with two pages full of practical counsels. I said, Lord, but I can't get that because they're all rooted in the theology and unless I spell out the theology, I'll be trying to hang them on a sky hook.

41:11 When we did construction work, it used to be a standing joke. You didn't know where to put something. You'd say, boss, where shall I put it? You'd say, hang it on a sky hook.

41:17 Well, you don't hang a 12-inch concrete block on a sky hook. There is no such thing. And that was just a standing joke. Well, you can't hang the counsels, the practical counsels on a sky hook.

41:29 They're embedded in the reinforcing and the most concrete of theology. You see, and that's why we've got to start this. So let me hasten to number three. We've got to understand the natural condition of our children, spiritually, domestically, the sovereign provisions of God's grace for our children, the blessings provided and offered in the gospel, the blessings provided and enforced in Christian nurture.

41:53 But then thirdly, we've got to understand, and some of you have already alluded to this in different terminology, what I'm calling the ordinary method of grace in the salvation of children who are under Christian nurture. The ordinary method of grace for the salvation of children who are under Christian nurture. Now, let it be said at the outset that in bringing people to spiritual life, the ways of the Spirit, John 3, 9, are like the wind. The wind blows where it wills.

42:27 You don't know where it comes from. You don't know where it goes. But you hear the sound of it. And we cannot box God into any one method.

42:35 But there is an ordinary method of grace for those raised in a context of Christian nurture. And it is one in which the framework of Christian nurture becomes what I'm going to call the conduit of saving grace. And let me put it this way on the board. The context of Christian nurture.

43:05 Here's that child. He's receiving nurture by means of his home. He's receiving nurture in a biblical church. Many cases, he's receiving nurture in a biblically-based school structure.

43:29 And the point that I'm making is that God's ordinary method of grace with such a child is that God will take that framework of Christian nurture, and make it. The conduit of his saving grace. That's the point. And if indeed the framework of Christian nurture becomes the conduit for saving grace, then this second point will be true.

44:03 Now we're coming to the crunch. It will be one in which the precise time when the nurture becomes implanted saving grace will most likely be unknown to all. It is a setting in which the precise time when the nurture becomes implanted saving grace will most likely be unknown to the parent or to the child. There will be periods of awakening and then it dies.

44:40 Greater awakening and then it dies. Hopeful signs. The kid's reading his Bible, praying. And when he prays at family worship, he can say, he's praying like Jonathan Edwards.

44:51 He's praying like George Whitfield. Must be saved! And your hopes get raised. And two months later, same old, now I lay me down to sleep prayers.

45:02 And you say, oh Lord, I'm still born again. And your hopes are raised. Now, your duty is the same all along. Whether the interest is high or low, your duty is exactly the same.

45:17 To impose upon that child, the duties of the law and the duties of the gospel. Doesn't change one bit. But because of the very influence of that nurture upon the plastic, pliable soul of a child, in most cases they will go through periods of spiritual awakening and upheaval and downswings and upswings. And we have got to face the fact that in most cases, the precise time when nature, or nurture becomes implanted saving grace will probably be unknown to them and to us.

45:55 And because our time is gone, and I have one more point to make, and we'll just have to let it go until next week. Let me use the illustration. I was fishing for an illustration. I said, I think I've got one.

46:06 Back in the old days, some of you don't even know what it is to fly in an airplane that had a reciprocal gasoline engine. But some of us can remember, the last one that reached the apex of the efficiency was the DC-7. And it was the third modification. It flew the fastest and held the most in transatlantic flights.

46:28 And when you sat especially near the wings, and they would crank up one of those engines, and then when they would spark, and the whole thing would shudder. You knew the instant that the gasoline was ignited and explosions were going on, and all 12 of those huge cylinders the size of trash cans were flopping around in the air. I mean, you really knew it. It was a tremendous sense of power.

46:54 But now when you sit, and you're waiting for them to start at the jet engine, some external power starts turning the turbine. And at some point, that the compressed air, with the fuel being injected, has taken hold on its own. Because the truck that was bringing the external power unhooks itself and drives away, and lo and behold, the engine's . But you see, I can never tell the precise point at which the motion of the turbine that was being made by an external force became motion by internal force.

47:37 But I sure know it's happened when I go down the runway at 150 knots, and he pulls back on that yoke, and the plane does what they say, rotates, and up it goes. I sure enough know then it's internal power. That ain't just a starter. Because, man, we's flying.

47:56 There's got to be lots of pounds of thrust. And frankly, if someone come up to me and said, you know, you're not flying unless you can tell me the precise second, millisecond, when external power became internal power in the jet engines. I say to him, buddy, go fly your kite somewhere else. You don't mind?

48:14 I don't mind. We're cruising, man. That's all that matters. There's fire in them engines.

48:19 You get the point? Now that's what will happen under Christian nurture. The external power of godly, prayerful, firm, parental instruction and guidance is turning the curtains. The kid's praying.

48:34 He's reading his Bible. He's going to church. Well, is it his or is it? I don't know.

48:40 God does a work of grace. You'll know it when he cruises on his own. And he comes to that place somewhere when he no longer is the child emotionally and mentally and psychologically tied to the umbilical cord of mom and dad and their nurture. But he has a sense of independent will and identity.

49:03 And he says, mama's God and daddy's God is my God. And if they curse him and deny him, I'll swallow my strength till I die. He's cruising, man. And that's more than nurture.

49:14 That's grace. That's grace. And it'll prove to be real grace if there's no flame outs until he draws up to the dock called heaven and doesn't crash halfway across the Atlantic. That's grace.

49:26 That's grace. That's grace. That's grace. That's grace.

49:31 And that's halfway across the Atlantic. You see the point? Now, you better understand that as a Christian parent. If you don't you're gonna butcher things with your kids.

49:43 Because there are times when you're going to be convinced you can unhook to start something really ignited. But you have no right to unhook the starter as long as they're in your home keep the starter there. You may cherish some hopes that the thing's ignited and going on its own out, but it didn't change your booty. Do you see that? And once we get hold of that, it

50:11 takes all that monkey off our back. Well, we've got to settle this now. We've got to settle this. No, you don't need to settle anything. God's already settled what your

50:19 duty is. He's already settled what the duty of that kid is. And you just go on doing your duty, urging that kid to go on doing his duty, and then what will open up next week, it's a context in which we must cautiously and hopefully await the emergence of individual adult spiritual identity. And that's what we hope to open up. And then when we do that,

Conclusion and Preview: Mortification of Parental Desires

50:43 then we're going to look at the second thing we as parents have got to have, not only a sound theology in these three areas, but we've got to have the mortification of our own natural desire to know that our kids are safe. And if you don't get that thing put to death, you're going to be a bad butcher of their souls as well. So that's what's got to be done in us. Then when we get that sorted out, then we'll take up, what do we tell ourselves?

51:08 Our kids. Well, let's pray and ask the Lord for his continued help.

51:16 Our Father, we recognize this morning that we are dealing with the most vital issues, and oh, how we pray that wisdom will be given to us, that we may not err on the left hand or the right in the application of these vital things to our precious children. Seal the word to our hearts, give us understanding, continue to bless us as we meditate and reflect. Lord, continue to teach me that I may accurately teach your people. Bless us then, as together we commit ourselves into your hands, in Jesus' name. Amen.