Dealing with Our Awakened Children, Part 3

Introduction: The Context of Previous Lessons

0:03 This adult Sunday school class was held on March 1, 1987, at the Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey.

0:13 The subject matter that has occupied our minds in the adult class for the past two Lord's Days, and this is the third, is the general subject of how to deal with our spiritually awakened children. And as we come to this third study, I would like to write over it in big, bold letters, not valid if detached. In other words, what we come to in the focus of our study today can only properly be understood in the light of the substance of what we have covered in the two previous lessons. We will be descending today to the part...

0:58 particulars of precisely what we should and should not say to our spiritually awakened children. But those particulars, if I may liken them to this block, are solidly built upon the blocks that were laid in the two previous lessons. Take these away, and this thing comes crashing to the ground in fragments. It's made of very fine, delicate china.

1:28 And it needs the support of the two previous lessons. Now, obviously, I cannot re-teach those lessons. I see a number of visitors, so all I can urge you to do is to obtain the tapes. These tapes are not a money-making enterprise.

1:45 They are a ministry of the Church, produced at a price that means there is a constant subsidy out of the Church's funds. And I would urge you to obtain the tapes so that you may put today's...

Review of Previous Lessons: Fears, Parental Heart, and Mentality

1:58 lesson into proper perspective. Let me just go over the heads of what we covered in our first two lessons. The first question that I raised is, when we attempt to deal with our spiritually awakened children, that is, our children who begin to manifest a spontaneous indigenous concern about their souls, about their relationship to God, the first question I ask is, what are our greatest fears? And you answered, we fear that we should encourage in them a false hope or presumption, and we also feared that we should create discouragement or despair.

2:42 Then I raised the second question. When giving counsel to spiritually awakened children, what things are of greatest importance in the heart and mind of the parent? And the answer to that, which took up the bulk of the lecture, of our first two sessions, was this. First of all, we must have, as parents, a sound or accurate Bible-based theology of the vital issues directly involved in giving such counsel.

3:14 We cannot give appropriate counsel if we are ignorant of the vital theological issues that make up the nuts and bolts of that counsel. And I said that that theological understanding, and I said that that theological understanding, has basically three categories. We must understand what the Scripture teaches about the natural condition of our children, secondly, the sovereign and gracious provisions of God for our children, and then thirdly, the ordinary method of grace in the salvation of children who are under Christian nurture. And then I said the second thing that must be in our hearts as parents is, a sanctified restraint upon the natural desire to know that our children are safe from the wrath of God. A sanctified restraint upon that natural and legitimate desire. And then, having brought all of those materials together, I tried to demonstrate that if we understand the theological issues involved, if our hearts are under that restraining influence of the Holy Spirit, it will lead to what I have called a mentality of a dispositional approach to the spiritual well-being of our children,

4:37 as opposed to a decisional or crisis approach. And then I defined what I meant by those things. The decisional or crisis mentality is built upon an element of truth. We know that saving faith and true repentance, that regeneration which produce repentance, and faith from God's perspective begin at a point in time when a person is united to Christ.

5:07 And understanding that, a decisionistic or crisis mentality is occupied with trying to know the precise time that the child, quote, accepted Christ or trusted Jesus. But in the context of Christian nurture, this decisional mentality is absolutely necessary. It's absolutely devastating. And I put into my review what I regard as one of the most indisputable proofs of that from our own experience.

5:38 Those of you who are part of our life together here know the warm relationship the children of this church have to their spiritual leaders. Many of you see the little ones line up for several of us every Sunday to get their hugs and kisses. I had one father last week hand me his oldest child, say, Please, Pastor, give her her hug. Give her a kiss or I'm going to have a child crying on my hands all afternoon.

6:03 That's what he said. Now, let me ask you something. If I were to say to the deacons, Please have some ladies provide some snacks so the kids will not be hungry and fussy. And next Sunday after the morning service, I want to meet for five minutes with every child between the age of three and seven.

6:25 And then I were to take each one of those children, the ones that jump up in my arms and kid with me and we hug and we kiss and we played and banter together. Do you believe it would be possible for me in five minutes with perhaps 99 percent, if not all of those children to have them sit on my knee and say, Do you believe you've done naughty things? Oh, yes. You believe you're naughty things.

6:49 God knows them. Oh, yes. You believe that doing naughty things, God deserves to punish you in hell. Yes.

6:56 You believe Jesus died to take away. You naughty things. Yes. Would you pray after Pastor?

7:02 Oh, God. Oh, God. Do you believe I could probably bat a thousand and have every one of those kids make a decision sitting on my knee next week?

7:12 Sure. What would you think then if I stood up Sunday night and said, Hallelujah, we've had 50 souls saved this afternoon. I hope you've run me out of the pulpit. But listen, it's nonetheless evil when it's done one by one by parents than if it were done by a trusted pastor.

7:32 All at once. You see the point? The point is we must not focus on the decisional mentality. Yes, we may encourage a child to pray and call upon God for forgiveness, but we do not focus upon that particular prayer and that particular crisis of spiritual exercise.

7:55 But rather, we are concerned to see emerge in our children a disposition of continual turning from sin, continual looking to Christ, continual trusting in Jesus as their only hope of salvation. Well, that review and that illustration hopefully to buttress the content. Now we come this morning to specific practical counsels in dealing with our awakened children. And some of these apply to our children who are not awakened.

First Positive Counsel: Emphasize Objective Gospel Realities

8:30 And I want to, first of all, lay before you

8:34 how many do I have. I have four positive lines of counsel to give you with regard to dealing with your awakened children. Now we come, you see, to the particulars. And it was people asking me these particulars that drove me to think through the foundational elements.

8:54 So now, at long last, some of you have been waiting to have your particular questions answered. I hope you will get some specific answers. All right? The first is this.

9:04 In dealing with your awakened children, sustain a dominant emphasis on the objective realities and provisions of the gospel. In dealing with your awakened children, sustain a dominant emphasis on the objective realities and provisions of the gospel. Now why do I say that? For this simple reason.

9:33 In a verse that's often quoted in this place, Romans chapter 1, we read as follows. Verse 16. For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God unto salvation. The gospel, as a divinely revealed commodity, is God's ordained instrument of power unto salvation for everyone that believes to the Jew first and also to the Greek.

10:09 For it is just what it is as the power of God unto salvation because of what it is in its fundamental content. For therein, that is, in the gospel, is revealed a righteousness of God from faith unto faith as it is written, but the righteous shall live by faith. You see, it is the gospel that is God's instrument of power unto salvation. If so, in dealing with our awakened children, as with any person who shows an interest in the concerns of his soul, we must sustain a dominant emphasis on the objective realities and provisions of the gospel. And what are those dominant objective realities and provisions? What you have in the book of Romans. The reality of sin as that which is against God and provokes the wrath of God.

11:16 Verse 18. For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven. And let me pause at this point to say, beware of those who say the gospel is fundamentally different for children under Christian nurture. There is a man of great influence in our day who in many ways is a good model of long-term pastoral usefulness, but he has an emphasis that I fear will be fatal if followed.

11:47 And the emphasis is, raise your children in faith, not in fear. Well, it is not either or, faith or fear. It is sufficient fear that will lead to faith.

12:01 There is only one gospel. And the objective content of that gospel is that our children have an objective problem. They are under wrath in Adam and for their own sin. So, in dealing with your awakened children, sustain a dominant emphasis on the objective realities and provisions of the gospel.

12:25 The reality of sin as against God as putting us under the wrath of God, the reality of God's provision for us. sin-bearer in the Lord Jesus, the reality of God's promise to save all who believe. Now this is in contrast to allowing an emphasis to focus on the subjective realities of the gospel and the provisions of the gospel. There are subjective realities and provisions.

12:55 Effectual calling is a subjective reality. Regeneration is a subjective reality. Getting a new heart is a subjective reality. Being born again.

13:07 But you see, the gospel is not get a new heart, but believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. The focus of the gospel is not do I have a new heart, but is Jesus Christ the Savior worthy of my trust and my confidence to be sheltered from the wrath of God. Paul says, This is the gospel I preached to you Corinthians, 1 Corinthians 15, 1 and following. And what was it?

13:39 This is the gospel I preached by which you are saved if you hold it fast. Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures. He was buried and on the third day rose again from the dead according to the scriptures. This is a faithful saying worthy of all acceptance.

14:00 Christ Jesus. Jesus came into the world to save sinners and remember Timothy referred to him last week. It's very interesting. The one thing Paul points out as the function of scripture in Timothy as a lad, as a little one.

14:21 This is what he says. Second Timothy three abide in the things which you've been assured of knowing of whom you've learned them. And that from a babe. You have known the holy scriptures.

14:31 And that from a babe. You have known the holy scriptures or sacred writings now notice which are able to make you wise unto salvation with reference to getting a new heart with reference to being born again. No make you wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. The salvation of which the scriptures make us wise is a salvation that has as its dominant emphasis salvation in Christ and received by faith for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever prays for a new heart will get one. No that's not the emphasis that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life. Now dear parents along the way your kids will know that the reason they sin so naturally and easily is because they have bad hearts and we know that they need a new heart. But don't allow their concern about a new heart to dictate the emphasis of your counsel to them.

Second Positive Counsel: Emphasize the Duty to Believe

15:54 Your counsel to them must take the lines of scripture and that is to sustain a dominant emphasis. I hope to get through these in time to open up for questions. Second word of counsel is this. Sustain a dominant emphasis on the duty to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ.

16:26 Sustain a dominant emphasis on the duty to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. When the jailer cried out in Acts 16. What must I do to be saved? What was the answer of Paul and Silas?

16:41 Get alone and use the means of grace and pray for a new heart. That isn't what they told him. That is not what they told him. They said believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved and thy house that is thy house believing will likewise be saved by this great savior.

17:05 So when the jailer was awakened and asked for directions what to do, he was not told you can do nothing, hyper-hyper-Calvinism, nor was he told wait upon God in expectancy and prayer for a new heart, which is experimental hyper-Calvinism, but he was told to believe on the Lord Jesus. Faith was his great duty. Immediate faith was the present response. So when the jailer was awakened and asked for directions what to do, he was not told you can do nothing, hyper-Calvinism, nor was he told you can do nothing.

17:36 He was given the responsibility and faith exercised out of the context of his present sinful condition without having to fix himself up one bit. That's what the passage teaches if it teaches anything. They didn't say now wait a minute Mr. Jailer Man, you've asked a very important question.

17:58 What shall I do to be saved? But you know just a few minutes ago you beat us up pretty good, whipped us, cursed at us and all the rest. Let's see if you get your act together. together and if your repentance is searing, then come back in a week and we'll tell you what to do. They said right where you are, right in your present condition, you believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. Faith is the great duty. Immediate faith is the present responsibility. Faith exercised out of a context of His present, uncleansed and sinful condition was His responsibility.

18:33 Now we have to press that on our awakened children. They must believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. They must believe upon Him now and they must believe just as they are. Romans 4, 4 and 5. To him who works, the reward is not reckoned of grace but of debt. But to him who works not, but believes on Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness. Now I did not say, omit the questions in the catechism on repentance. I did not say, never mention repentance. I said, sustain a dominant emphasis on the duty to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ.

19:20 And why am I pressing this issue? For this simple reason. I'm trying to neutralize and correct two major spiritual pitfalls into which adults fall, but children, in Christian nurture, in a peculiar way, are vulnerable to falling into these two pits. The first is the pitfall of replacing the unique place of faith in Christ with repentance, love, or obedience. Now follow me closely. It is the pitfall of replacing the unique place of faith in Christ with repentance. love and obedience. Now, repentance is the handmaiden of all true faith. There will never be true faith without repentance. We know that God commands all men everywhere to repent,

20:22 but we are never saved, never said to be saved by repentance. It doesn't say, for by grace are you saved through repentance, but through what? Through faith. Now, to him that works not, but repents, no, to him that works not, but believes on him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness. God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever repents, no, whosoever believes. You see, the emphasis falls upon faith in its uniqueness as that to which God calls the sinner in his sinful state, if he would come into possession of the virtue of Jesus and the salvation that is in Jesus. If I may liken it this way, in a whole, healthy, unmutilated body, there are feet to take a man places, there are hands to perform tasks, and there's a mouth to eat and to drink. Now,

21:35 wouldn't it be ludicrous if I said I'm thirsty? I'm trying to make the foot perform a function for which it was named. ever created. Now, I could, at least I used to be able, I can still do a handstand, but I used to be able to walk across the room on my hands. I will not descend to illustrate that. But you see, my hands are not made primarily to take me places, but to perform function. The mouth is made to eat and drink. Now, in the same way, in God's gracious dealing with sinners to bring them to his Son, faith, repentance, love, obedience, all have their place, but make sure they're kept in their right place. Faith is the mouth by which Christ

22:28 and his salvation are eaten and drunk. If any man thirsts, let him come unto thee, and he that believes on me, he who eats my flesh and drinks my blood. Now, repentance is the feet by which we turn away from sin, and the hands are obedience by which we will show our love to the Christ. But God has given to the mouth the distinct and exclusive ability of assimilation. In love, I have something that is directed to Christ. It's implanted by the Spirit, but it's something, it's a grace within that goes to Christ. In repentance, it's a grace implanted that has to do with sin, in particular with God's government and rule over me. And obedience is the fruit of true repentance.

23:23 Repentance and the fruit of faith and love, but it is faith and faith alone by which the Savior and his salvation are appropriated. And therefore, with your children, sustain a dominant emphasis on the duty to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. So often, in dealing with children, people say, well, do you love the Lord Jesus? Are you seeking to please the Lord Jesus?

23:52 Rather than saying, believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved. And I'm attempting to avoid that pitfall on the one hand, but now a second pitfall I'm seeking to avoid is this. The pitfall of thinking that they must cease to be sinners before they can become believers. The pitfall of thinking they've got to cease being sinners before they can become believers. Now, they are in a peculiar situation. They are in a peculiar situation.

24:23 They are in a particular danger here. Because by Christian nurture, we are continually teaching them the law of God. We're making their consciences sensitive to right and to wrong. Furthermore, by proper nurture with the rod and admonition, we are forcing them. Horrors. No, not horrors, that's Bible. We're forcing them to do the right and prohibiting them from doing the wrong. When I would make a face at the table at a certain food prepared by my mother and my father said, get that look off your face, it either went off immediately voluntarily in a nice smile in his place, or up the stairs and into the bathroom ritual. While he locked the door, you pulled the shade. That ritual repeated enough that I can never forget it.

25:21 I was force-made. Never brutalized, but spanked. Loving, parental, concerned, it was determined not only to teach me right and wrong, but make me do right and make me avoid the wrong insofar as parental discipline and training could do it. Well, you see, in the light of that, our children have a highly cultivated sense of right and wrong. And, in many cases, they will be living very logically.

25:59 Yeah. You have every right or wrong in the world, and in some cases, they will be living very lovely, nice little lives. And if we do not constantly emphasize that their great duty is to believe on the Lord Jesus as sinners, we can suddenly make little Pharisees out of them who said, sure, I love the Lord Jesus. Look how nice I live. I'm sweet. I'm kind.

26:19 I'm gentle. I obey my mommy and daddy. I love the Lord Jesus. I obey the Lord Jesus. But if you ask them, do you stand before him as a sinner, believing upon him, they may grow up utterly ignorant of that great reality. No, we must remember, dear people, if you and I had to wait till we ceased being sinners until we believed, there wouldn't be one believer in this place today. Every son of Adam is a sinner from his conception to his birth.

26:54 Now, the difference between a saved, regenerate, believing sinner and a believer is that the sinner and an unsaved sinner is that the dominion of sin is broken in the one, not in the other. The love of sin is fundamentally broken in the one, not in the other. The willful, deliberate practice and patterns of sin is broken and altered in the one and not in the other. But Paul did not say, this is a faithful saying, worthy of all acceptation. Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners of whom I was chief. He said, of whom I. So you see, if we do not believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, we will not be saved. We will not teach our children early in our instruction that there is no incongruity between being a sinner and believing on Jesus. We'll either drive them into despair or into Phariseeism,

27:46 because that's the glory of the gospel. It is sinners believing who are saved. Sinners still, not in the degree, not in the extent. I know that well. I've paid a dear price for preaching that. I've paid a dear price for preaching that. I've paid a dear price for preaching that clearly and emphatically in trying to strip away the presumptuous false hope of people who say they're saved, in whom over a period of time there's not a shred of evidence of any break with the dominion and love and practice of sin. But you see, often the worst errors are simply a truth driven beyond its balanced, razor's edge, biblical perspective. And dear Christian parents, sustain with your children a dominant,

28:33 emphasis on the duty to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. They must believe on Him. They must believe on Him now. They must believe on Him as they are. And by the grace of God blessing that counsel, hopefully we can avoid the pitfall of replacing the unique place of faith by repentance, love, or obedience, and the pitfall of leading them to think they must cease to be sinners before they can be saved. And by the grace of God blessing that counsel, hopefully we can avoid the pitfall of replacing the unique place of faith. And by the grace of God blessing that counsel, hopefully we can believe. All right, my third word of counsel is this. Sustain a dominant emphasis on the continuous, present nature of repentance and faith. Sustain a dominant emphasis on the continuous, present nature of repentance and faith. With but few exceptions in the cornorial at the bottom. It's got to happen a Drag Appleomino far into John 4. We're in

Third Positive Counsel: Emphasize Continuous Repentance and Faith

29:40 the middle of early Parker is now languishing it. Just this day, he distributes it. He copies it. He recites it and expressing it, saying, LOUIS Потом I HAVE F austIM. We start and end here. I will only wait for God to be pleased Current Americanese, whosoever is believing, is believing, a disposition of faith, shall not perish, but have everlasting life. He that heareth my word, and believes, present tense, on him that sent me, his past from death unto life, shall not come into condemnation. I am the resurrection and the life, he that believes, present tense, John 11, 25. And likewise with repentance, 2 Timothy 2, 19, let everyone who names the name of Christ continually depart from iniquity, or the positive language of 1 John 3,

30:46 whosoever is practicing righteousness is born of God. Now think how this applies, if we get hold of this concept here, parents, to that child who's on his bed, and you've said your goodnight prayers, and you're starting out the room, and he says, Mommy, Daddy, come back. Say, what is it, son? What is it, dear?

31:10 I'm afraid to go to sleep. Why are you afraid? Because I'm not sure my sins are forgiven. And I know if I die, I'd go to hell, because God's wrath is against all my sins and all the naughty things I've done.

31:26 What are you going to tell that kid?

31:28 Well, may I suggest that this is what you need to tell him? You say to him, son, honey, sweetie, whatever your name is, you believe your sins deserve, but you should go to hell. I'm afraid I'm going to die and go to hell. What does the Bible say God has done for sinners who deserve to go to hell?

31:49 It says God loves sinners. How did he show his love? He sent Jesus to die for sinners. And what does God say to everyone who believes on Jesus to take away his sins?

32:02 Saved? But I don't know if I'm saved. You say, that's right. You may not know.

32:07 But listen, right now, are you trusting only in Jesus to take away your sins? Yep. You're not trusting in the fact that you know your catechism, that you're a good boy and get all kinds of stars on your card at the Christian...

32:24 No, I'm only trusting in Jesus. But you tell that little kid, you say to him, son, sweetheart, no sinner ever went to hell trusting in Jesus. You better tell him that. You'll never be wrong telling anyone that under any circumstances.

32:41 You'll never be wrong telling anyone that under any circumstances. For any number of times. You say, you're not getting in his heart and telling him he's saved. You're just simply saying, if you are trusting in Jesus and Jesus only to take away your sins, you will not go to hell if you die tonight.

32:59 Because God has promised, he who believes on the Lord Jesus has everlasting life. And you will wake up looking on the face of Jesus and mommy and daddy would be jealous because you'd have something far better than that. Let's pray now and commit it to God. And you pray and you ask God to make real to that little heart the truth that anyone who truly believes on Jesus is safe in Jesus.

33:26 And you leave the room and he goes off in most cases who go off to sleep peacefully. You say, Pastor, how can he do that? If you don't know, you're not asked to read his heart. You're asked to bring the gospel to him.

33:40 You're asked to bring the promises, the promises of the gospel to him. And with that dominant emphasis on the continuous present nature of repentance and faith, then you're not hung up when he says, but daddy, three weeks ago I asked Jesus to save me. And I don't know what he did then. I asked Jesus to give me a new heart, but I was so naughty last week, I don't think I could have had a new heart.

34:08 You say it doesn't matter whether you write now. You see, it breaks the back of having to try with some kind of near fanatical infallibility to sort out yourself whether this mountain peak of awakening, remember we showed on the board, kids will go through these peaks of awakening and indifference. What a terrible thing to be on the treadmill of being here and saying, well, what I did back then, was that real? Or is this what I am when you get hold of the dispositional mentality as opposed to the dispositional mentality? And you say, well, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

34:55 I don't know. But if you are in the dispositional mentality, then you can sustain the very emphasis of the word of God, which is on the continuous present nature of repentance and of faith. My fourth word of counsel is this. In a loving, consistent, non-nagging pattern of nurture, even when the period of awakening wanes.

Fourth Positive Counsel: Consistent, Loving Nurture

35:28 W-A-N-E-N-G. W-A-N-E-N-G. W-A-N-E-N-G. W-A-N-E-N-G.

35:29 And he sustained a pattern of consistent, loving, non-nagging nurture, even when the period of awakening wanes. Here the child is rocking along, and then he comes into a period where heaven and hell and Christ in the Bible, spiritual realities seem to be so real. And in that context, they're scared that they might die and go to hell. Well, they may say, I really do believe in the Lord Jesus.

36:03 I love the Lord Jesus. They may well be in a state of grace. We don't know. And your nurture of them takes them at their word and then treats them accordingly.

36:16 And if they are saying, I believe, I love the Lord Jesus now, I truly trust in him, I want to obey him, you say then, all right, you want to please the Lord Jesus, this is how you do it. You bring gospel motives to bear upon them, etc. But now what happens when, boom, as often it will, sometimes very quickly, sometimes gradually, most frequently at the onset to the middle part of adolescence.

36:51 Care less about reading the Bible? Doesn't want to ask questions about spiritual things? What are you going to do? You do not change the basic pattern of Christian nurture with which he's surrounded.

37:05 By the word of God mandating it. You continue to bring home the demands of the law, the demands of the gospel, but you do it in a loving, non-nagging way. And let me illustrate it this way from 1 Peter 3. Remember what Peter says?

37:25 Peter wrote Peter. He said to the wise, you've got unsaved husbands. They've been exposed to the word, but they want nothing to do with it. What does he say?

37:34 Go put a track. Under every roll of toilet paper in the bathroom. Put a track under the pillow. Write gospel slogans and gospel graffiti on the outside of the house.

37:45 He said, no. Just graciously live out your God-appointed role that they may be one without the word. Now you take that principle with your children. Continue to surround them with the nurture.

37:59 Whether they have any appetite for family devotions is not the issue. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. We will serve the Lord. We will serve the Lord.

38:06 As long as you're the head of that home and there are minors in that home, at a certain hour, the family gathers for family worship. And they don't do it grudgingly. They don't do it with debate. If that's so, you don't have control of your house.

38:21 It's time you got your house in order.

38:26 Rear back on your hind legs in the name of the God of heaven and say, enough's enough. I've been a wimp too long.

38:35 Almighty God has made me head of this home to impose the rule of the Lord. The rule of His word upon this home.

38:43 As long as I have breath and sanity and strength, I'm going to fulfill that duty. So you continue your nurture. Come Sunday morning, there's no, I don't feel like, it's not even debatable. Not even discussed.

38:59 You've got to discuss and wheedle and, man, you've lost a hoot in the world, do you think? I mean, what do you think your kids are? Are you intimidated by your children? God have mercy on you if you are.

39:11 It has nothing to do with your physical size. It has to do with knowing who you are. We're back to the theology, you see, of what God has established in the framework of the home. So you carry on all the ordinary nurture, but it will grieve you that they no longer want that special kind of nurture that you gave them when they were more awakened.

39:35 Don't force it. Don't nag. Don't needle. Don't be abrasive because of your own, hurt and frustration that the things that you love the most and that one time they seemed to love, they no longer had any spontaneous appetite for them.

40:00 Sustain a loving, consistent, non-nagging pattern of nurture even when the period of awakening wanes and then learn new lessons of how to prevail with God in prayer. Let God, who can quicken the dead, will do the work that only He can do. Now, in conclusion, I want to give you four cautions. Okay?

First Caution: Never Tell a Child They're Too Young to Be Saved

40:27 I tried to give you four positive directions, now four cautions. Here were the do's, now four don'ts. Isn't that sweet? I put the do's first, and now the don'ts.

40:38 Number one, never tell a child he's too young to be saved. Never tell a child he's too young to be saved. Is he too young to be lost? If he's never too young to be lost, he's never too young to be saved.

40:56 Now, there's a difference in saying he may be too young to make open confession in baptism and join the Church and saying he's not too young to be saved. We're not saying that a kid may experience real love for someone who we're not about to encourage him to get married on the basis of that love. That's a separate issue. The issue of open confession and the responsibilities and liabilities of Church membership is in no way connected to the possibility of children being saved.

Second Caution: Never Play God and Tell a Child They Are Saved

41:30 Never tell a child he's too young to be saved. Tell him what he needs to do to be saved and why he needs to be saved, and God may be pleased to save him young. Secondly, never play God and tell a child he is saved. Never tell him he's too young to be saved.

41:49 But don't play God and tell him he is saved.

41:53 You can tell him the promises to believers, but Romans 8.16 says the Spirit himself bears witness with our spirits that we are the children of God. Don't play God and tell a child he is saved. You see, a kid wants so much to have you become his priest and absolve him.

42:12 If you've got a good relationship with your kids, the thing they want more than anything else is to have mommy and daddy believe they're saved. Because they know your highest ambition for them is that they be Christians. And if your kids don't know that, then you've got your priorities mixed up. If your kids can come to age ten, and if someone asks them, what do your mommy and daddy want for you more than anything else in life, and not answer spontaneously that I've become a Christian, you've missed it somewhere, parent.

42:38 If they have to sit and think, well, let me see, they want me to become well-educated so I'm in a good job and have a good... Something's bad wrong.

42:46 Bad, bad wrong. Now you see, if they know that your greatest longing is that they be saved, and they want to please you, what do they want more than anything else? To have you say, sweetie,

43:02 they long to hear that! But you have no right to play God, and play priest, and tell a child he's saved. Then thirdly, don't expect a standard of grace beyond what the Bible expects, and beyond your own experience. Don't expect a standard of grace beyond what the Bible expects, and your own experience.

Third Caution: Don't Expect Unrealistic Standards of Grace

43:24 If God puts real grace in a six-year-old, it's not going to be sixty-year-old manifestations, but six-year-old manifestations of grace.

43:35 And it's amazing how some people are so quick to discredit a child's simple profession of trust in Christ, and confession of love to Christ, and sincere obedience, sincere desire to obey Christ, because the kid is not a theological giant by the time he's nine years old, and a model of self-control and everything else which if you applied to yourself, you'd have to question your own salvation. Don't expect a standard of grace beyond the Bible and your own experience. Say, how can that kid be a Christian? I've had to tell him in the past week six times not to do that.

44:11 Let me ask you, is there any sin as a mature adult Christian you've had to confess six times in one week?

44:25 Thou that condemnest another,

44:27 if you want to put them out of grace, you better put yourself out too. Don't have unrealistic, unbiblical expectations. And this fourth counsel, dear people, is so vital. May God help us to understand it, and help me to, and express it.

Fourth Caution: Don't Give Impression of Indifference

44:42 Don't give the impression of indifference, even in apparent times of indifference in them.

44:52 Don't give the impression of indifference on your part, even during times of indifference on their part. This is the balancing counsel to loving, non-lagging nurture. But don't give the impression that you're indifferent, that if they're saying, I care not for God and my soul, and heaven and hell, don't give the impression that you care not.

45:18 Let them see your concern when at family devotions, not in the presence of visitors that would unnecessarily embarrass them, but in the presence of the household. Pray for their salvation as you pray for the different members of the family. Let them know you're concerned. Periodically, as you nurture your relationship to them, which brings me, I did have a fifth, and my number five was small, over on the side, and this will lead into it very naturally.

45:47 As you're having times of just talking about things in general, prayerfully put your arm around the child and say, look, son, look there. It's been a long time since we've talked about where you are spiritually. Would you mind telling dad and mom, just what are your thoughts these days? Don't ever give the appearance of indifference on your part because of indifference on their part.

Fifth Caution: Don't Withdraw Love Due to Lack of Awakening

46:10 And then I must hasten to this fifth negative. Don't draw back in the general expressions of your love and delight in them simply because they no longer seem to be awakened.

46:27 See what I'm saying? It's peculiarly easy to delight in your children when their hearts seem to be delighting in the things that are most precious to you. But if they see you drawing back from expressions of intimacy, physically, verbally, quality time spent, because they're here, you know what you're telling them? My full parental acceptance is predicated on your being a Christian.

46:53 And God help you if you send out that message. Your kids must know your acceptance of them is predicated on one thing and one thing only, that God gave them to you as a parent to nurture them.

47:10 You see that? And it'd be a lot harder to take walks with them when you can't speak naturally and conversation dies whenever you bring up, spiritual things, and you don't want to nag, but you keep throwing out bait to see if they're at least willing to nibble. But don't suddenly begin to reject them because one of two things will happen. They will either then go through the form of a profession to win your parental affection or they'll become cynical and bitter and sour.

47:45 I don't like either of those alternatives. Your kids must never think that your parental love and acceptance and commitment to your parents and your parental duties are predicated upon their being Christians. Then if they go through a period of waywardness, rejection, when God brings them back to an awakened period, they'll know right where to go. They know exactly how they'll be received.

48:22 And I didn't learn that in Bible school. You let them know no matter what they do to your God and to your Christ that you're determined to be a biblical parent to them. And when God is pleased to turn to you, to turn their hearts, there's no question. When the prodigal got ready to leave the far country, he knew where to go.

Capstone: God is Sovereign in Grace

48:45 And there the father was waiting. And then the capstone over everything. No question. Sorry.

49:03 I didn't know how long. First time I've gone through the material. Didn't ride the horse before. Didn't know how long it would take him to go where he's going.

49:09 What do we put over all this now? I've given you four positive counsels, five negatives. Put over all of this, dear people. And if you don't, it's apparent.

49:20 Again, you're going to be in big, bad trouble. God is sovereign in grace. Two little boys conceived in one little womb.

49:44 And God says, The elder shall serve the younger. Jacob have I loved. Esau have I hated. So then, it is not of him who runs or of him who wills, but of God who shows mercy.

50:10 And I say it reverently, but I want to say it pointedly. To you who have not yet entered the experience of parenthood, if you can't accept God, God's right to be sovereign in grace with regard to your children, you've got a fundamental problem in your relationship to God. And I plead with you, don't bear any children until you've come to grips with that problem. Grace is grace is grace is grace.

50:42 Never is grace obligation. And if God saves one or all of the children of these church families, it is because ultimately he has chosen in his sovereign prerogative to show mercy upon whom he wills to show mercy. Well, may God bless these things dear people. And I'm sure I'd be surprised if there aren't a whole bucket load of questions and we'll deliberate among the elders whether I ought to take next week to field some of the questions you think them through.

51:17 But I want to lay out the whole picture before we try to have interaction. Let's pray together. Father, we're so thankful that those scriptures are given to us to be a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. And we pray that to the extent your word has been properly handled, you would write it upon our hearts.

51:43 Wherever there's been distortion or imbalance, blow upon it and bring it to naught. For we would be under the tutelage of your pure word and of that alone. We do pray that you'd give us a mighty baptism of heavenly wisdom in seeking to be wise, faithful counselors to the souls of our children. And oh God, we pray that many of them will show themselves to be vessels of mercy brought to repentance and faith through the loving, prayerful nurture and application of the gospel in the home, in the church, and in the school. Oh God, hear our cry. And write these things upon our hearts. We ask in Jesus' name.

52:37 Amen.