Biblical View of Marriage (wedding sermon)

The Pulpit's Dedication to God's Word

0:05 It was the expressed wish of the bride and groom that the word of God be preached on this occasion of their gathering together. And I wish to speak to you along some very basic practical lines relative to the whole subject of weddings and of marriage. The members and friends of this church know that this place, and when I say this place, I mean not just generally this building, but in particular, this sacred piece of real estate behind this pulpit is dedicated to the proclamation and the application of the scriptures of the Old and the New Testament. This pulpit is not a place for the pompous pronouncements of preachers and their personal opinions. This place is not an atmosphere and a climate in which there is an encouragement for the mouthings of the latest so-called psychological insights. This place is not a forum for current ideas on marriage and the home and family life. No, it is a place where the scriptures are to be expounded and applied.

1:18 And this is so because of such statements as the prophet Isaiah, who said in his prophecy, and I quote from Isaiah 8.20, to the law and to the testimony, that is, to the word of God written, if they speak not according to this word, it is because there is no light in them. And so the fact that a man has a turned collar and a reverend in front of his name, be he priest, rabbi, or Protestant preacher, God says if he does not speak according to this word, there is no light in him. The prophet Jeremiah stated it this way, he that has a dream, let him tell his dream.

2:00 But he that hath my word, let him speak my word, faithfully. King David said it this way in the Psalms, Forever, O Lord, thy word is settled in heaven, thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. Jesus Christ stated it this way, Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my word shall never pass away. And so I wish to direct your attention to the word of God in terms of a consideration of three very simple questions.

Question 1: Why Have Weddings? Because God is the God of Creation

2:35 Question number one is this. Why should we have such events as weddings? Why should we have such events as marriages? Why should a young man and woman stand and face one another and solemnly exchange vows of mutual love and sacrifice and obedience to the word of God?

3:00 I'm sure you're aware that the rightness and the validity of this is being questioned on, many hands in our own day. There are articles in all the popular magazines, Family Circle, Woman's Day, McCall, Life, etc., on the experiments done in group marriages, or in trial marriages, or in no marriages at all. The book The Open Marriage has been a bestseller. And the whole idea of what has transpired this morning is being brought into serious suspicion in our own generation. And when it is, we must ask the question, well, is there any validity to what we are doing? Is this just a tradition established in the inevitable evolutionary process of man? And if it's only a part of that process, then we can outgrow it just as we grew into it? Well, the answer of the Scripture is very simple, and it is this.

3:58 Why should we have such events as weddings? Here's the answer of the Bible. Because God is the God of creation. That's the answer. Why should we have weddings? Because God is the God of creation. I read from the first chapter of the book of Genesis, verses 26 and 27. And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the heaven, and over the cattle, and over the birds of the sea. And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. And God created man in his own image. In the image of God created he them. Male and female created he them. You have your order of worship in your hands, many of you. You will notice that on the outside

4:56 there is printed a block of Scripture. And this is taken from the second chapter of Genesis, which, as it were, becomes a magnifying glass on the two verses of Genesis 1. Genesis 1 gives a record of the entire creation process, from the inanimate creation to the highest creature of God, man. Chapter 2 of Genesis becomes a magnifying glass that is held over verses 26 and 27, and God enlarges in detail how he created the man and woman of God. And I read now from the front of your order of worship, And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life. And man became a living soul. And the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone. I will make and help meet or answering for his needs. And

6:00 the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam. And he slept. And he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof. And the rib which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife. And they shall be one. Now do you see why we have weddings and marriages? Because God is the God of creation. The distinction between a male and a female is not an accident in the evolutionary process. You see, this is the common assumption of all the articles being written on the subject of marriage and the home and the family in our day. The common undergirding assumption is that the marriage and wife relationship, the husband and wife relationship, the attraction between male and female, the institution of the home, is simply an accident of the evolutionary process. And my dear friends, if you have believed that, you have believed the bald-faced lie!

7:19 No, no, the fact that there is male and female, the fact that there is this need for each other, is part of the wise purpose for the marriage and the marriage, for the purpose of marriage. And there's no other way to achieve it. It's not only the relationship between men and purpose and plan of God. And then as we read from Genesis 2, as found in the front of our order of worship, the fact that man and woman should be brought together in this leaving and cleaving relationship. Man shall leave father and mother and cleave, notice, not to his wives, to his concubines, to his temporarily arranged paramours. The scripture says, he shall leave father and mother and cleave to his wife and they shall be one flesh, indicating that the sacred function of sex is to be found within the self-commitment and the protective bonds of the intimacy of total commitment one to another, leaving, cleaving, they shall be one. And so we say away with all of this experience

8:31 experimentation of group marriage, trial marriage, no marriage. No, no. God has designed in love and wisdom this relationship in which a man and woman should come together to share life in a monogamous relationship. One man, one woman committed in love and purpose one to the other and within that relationship bringing glory and praise to God. And so we are finding blessing for themselves. So you see, we have marriages and weddings because God is the God of creation. And on this basis, we see the fallacy of the philosophy of Playboy and Penthouse that says the woman is a thing to be used and discarded. No, no. God brought

9:24 the woman to Adam and said, Adam, she is yours to be loved and cared for and honored as well as fully possessed in the sexual relationship. Why is our generation reeling under the heady wine of its own so-called mature attitudes to sex, which can only produce as it has epidemic proportions of divorce, venereal disease and all the rest? I'll tell you why God is saying you're so smart as to deny me as creator, to deny that the male-female distinction is part of my own purpose and plan, and hence, under my directive, you're so smart? All right, go ahead and destroy yourself by denying that I'm the God of creation. You and I are living in a generation that is destroying itself because it will not acknowledge that God is the God of creation. Thank God that Elaine and Paul embraced this truth without any reservation. It's been my joy in my premarital counseling sessions with them to base all of my counsel upon this fundamental assumption, that the fact that in the providence of God an attraction developed, and that attraction developed into serious courtship, and the courtship has brought

10:49 them to November 11th here at the front of this church. This is not something that's an accident. This is something that is part of the unfolding of God's created design. That he would make an help, answering to the man's needs. And you see the glory of it?

11:08 God didn't take Eve from one of Adam's foot bones that he should trample on her. Nor did he take her from one of his head bones that she should rule in. But as one old commentator says so quaintly, God took one of Adam's ribs, close to his heart, to be loved, under his arm to be protected. And from the very place that God took the rib. You say, you believe that God... Yes. Sure I do. Sure I do. Of course I do. You got it better? Were you there? I wasn't there. God was. And when God tells me he anesthetized Adam and took a rib and from the rib made a woman, that's not hard for me to believe. If he opens his mouth and speaks worlds and galaxies into being out of the womb of nothing, he can make a woman from a rib. And in the very way that he made the woman, he's saying to the man, look, she's to be loved, she's to be cherished. You're the head, but not a tyrannical head. You're to be a loving, tender, protective,

Question 2: Why Do Marriages Become Living Hells? Because Man is a Fallen Creature

12:16 providing head. Well, I must quickly move on to the second question. And it's this. Why have weddings soon led to a living hell in many cases? You say to me, preacher, that all sounds well and good from the account of creation. But listen, you know...

12:36 You know and I know that in many cases what happens at the front of a church in a matter of months or a few short years becomes a living hell. Doesn't it? Some of you may be witnesses to that. If I were to start here this morning and ask some of you, is this so? You'd have to stand if you were honest and hang your head and say, I know too well that the joys of a honeymoon soon can become the agonies of the living hell of a marriage that is not in which there is mutual exploitation and tyranny and infidelity. What's the answer to this? Well, the answer is not to be found in sociological conditions, psychological problems and economic pressures. The Bible answers that question. And it answers it in

13:25 this simple way. Just as it answers the question, why should there be weddings, with its statement, God is the God of creation, it answers the second question, why do marriages become living hells by this simple statement, man is a fallen creature? The beautiful account of creation in Genesis 2 is followed by the account of man's rebellion against God in Genesis chapter 3. And in a nutshell, what does it tell us? Well, it tells us that man said, I can go it on my own. God has said, look, if you are to know this continual bliss and joy, here are the proscribed limits. Walk with it. In them, you will be blessed and I will be glorified. And man said, in essence, I think

14:14 I'll find my happiness outside those limits. And when Adam, in rebellion against God, partook of the fruit of that tree, it wasn't that there was something inherently evil in the fruit, it became the symbol of his rebellion against God, and something tragic happened. Man not only became a creature guilty of rebelling against God, but he became polluted and defiled in his very nature, so that by Genesis chapter 6, listen what the scripture says, and the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually, and it repented the Lord that he had made man. Look at the contrast. After God created everything in Genesis 1, we read in verse 30, God saw everything he had made, and behold, it was very good. Everything. That includes

15:20 marriage. This idea that the Judaic Christian ethic has, as it were, brought all our sexual hang-ups, that's a lot of baloney. God saw everything he made, and it was good. Not only trees and birds, but when Adam embraced his wife, in the intimacy of their marriage relationship, God looked down and smiled.

15:41 God smiled and said, that's good. And when Adam said, Eve, will you do this, and took his headship in love, God smiled and said, that's good. And when Eve lovingly obeyed, knowing this is my place as Adam's help, answering to his needs, it was good. But now Genesis 6 says, God looked down and saw nothing but evil, and he says, I'm sorry that I've made man. Now what happened? Well, the answer is Genesis 3.

16:12 Man took things into his own hands. Man took things into his own hands. And as a result, he has turned inward and become a selfish creature, corrupt in his affections, rebellious against the law and the will of God, so that when you turn to the scriptures, you find descriptions like this. Now apply it to marriage. Listen. The works of the flesh, that is, man in rebellion against God, are manifest, which are these. Adultery, fornication, uncleanness. Lasciviousness. What's the root of all the infidelity that is being now given as sort of a sophisticated thing? David Susskind recently, some of you may have seen the advertisement

16:57 on this, had a whole two or three hour discussion of group sex, the open marriage. What is this? Is this a manifestation of man becoming sophisticated? No, the Bible says it's a revelation of his own sinful nature. The works of the flesh are manifest. Adultery.

17:19 Fornication. What's the root of the common epidemic of V.D.? Is it because there isn't enough information on sex and contraceptives? Of course not. Fornication is a result of man's desire to enjoy God's gifts apart from God's directions. And promiscuity is at the heart of this. The Bible is very explicit on these things. But now listen. Paul descends from those obvious sins of the flesh, which are peculiarly manifest. He's vested in what we would call the structure of marriage and the home. And then he descends to these things. Listen. Moving from these gross sins of the flesh, he then goes on to say, strife, jealousy, wrath, divisions, envying. Aren't those the sins that plague marriages? Strife? Envy? Where do they come from? Sociological pressures from without? No, no.

18:24 The Scripture says they are the natural outcropping of man in his sinful condition. That's what it is. Jesus said, for from within, out of the heart of man proceed pride, foolishness, anger, and all of these other sins. This is the problem. When you put two selfish people into the close proximity of the marriage relationship, it's like trying to have two planets move in the same order. One's got to give. And that's why marriage becomes a living hell. Because two people who've turned inward upon a position and a perspective that is selfish and self-centered find their selfish interests clashing again and again. And then there's all that mutual

19:17 exploitation of marriage. And all of the things that many of us know all too well. What's the answer? Here's the answer.

Question 3: Why Gather with Joy? Because God is the God of Redemption

19:29 Man is a falling creature. So we've got two questions, two answers. Now let's move to the third. Why then do we gather today with joy and with expectation that this couple will be blessed in their marriage? Shouldn't we rather turn it into a funeral and call this the demise, the end of whatever joy Paul and Elaine have had? Hmm? Shouldn't we? I mean, are we just playing games? Was I just mouthing well-learned clerical words when John opened with prayer and with those words from John 2 and said Jesus added to the joy of the wedding that married the marriage in Cana of Galilee. No, no. We have a right to gather with joy and with expectation that this marriage will be one of blessing, because—simple statement—God is the God of Redemption. See? God is the

20:27 God of Redemption. You turn back to Genesis. It's alright. There's not another God in there.

20:28 You turn to Campanian, and that's what you hear, that's what you hear, that's what your hearts are at. You turn to Genesis and say, You know, what kind of God is the more wounded of the dead? What kind of God is God? And you say, He's the one who saw the great and the most right there. No sooner had man sinned than he hides from God. There's alienation between the man and the woman. The man turns to accusing the woman. What does God do? He could have wiped his hands of the whole business, but what did he do? It says that the Lord God came seeking the man, and he cried out, Adam, where art thou? And God sought the man, and God brought the man to the place where he not only clothed him to hide his shame, but he gave this wonderful promise. And I quote from Genesis 3.15, God says, I will put warfare, enmity, division between thee and the woman, that is the serpent, between thy seed and her seed. Thou shalt bruise his heel, but he shall bruise his head.

21:29 What is God saying? He's saying, look, I am taking in hand to redeem my creature who has sinned against me. I am going to bring him back to myself. I am going to crush the head of the tempter. And thank God it's because God is the God of redemption that I can look into the face of these two sinful creatures and yet believe that their wedding will be the opening of a new life. The whole new perspective of blessing and happiness. Why? Because God's the God of redemption who takes the sinful, selfish man or woman and subdues that disposition of sinful selfishness and rebellion and gives them a basic desire to please him and to live for others. And

22:22 that's so radical a change. You know what the Bible calls it? The prophet Ezekiel called it a new heart. Speaking metaphorically, of course. God says, I am going to bring him back to myself. I am going to take out that heart of stone and I'll give you a heart of flesh and I'll put my spirit within you and cause you to keep my commandments so that the marriage relationship between a husband and wife, instead of being a little miniature of a bloody battle on the sands of Iwo Jima in the Second World War, becomes a beautiful picture of Christ and his church. That's why I read from Ephesians 5 earlier in the service, Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church. Selfless love. Purposeful love.

23:09 Realistic love. How can you love that way? You can't of yourself. But thank God in Jesus Christ we can. He gives us power to love that way. He gives a husband power to put up with a wife's idiosyncrasies and those things she does that irritate. And conversely, he gives a wife power. To put up. Dropping those socks in the same place day after day after day. And listen, he gives power to the husband to alter some of those patterns when he knows that the altering of them will please his wife. Instead of saying, I'm the head of the house, I'll drop my socks where I want. Christ gives a husband power to say, dear, you're right. That's a sloppy bad habit I have. And you pray for me and I'll work at it and I'll try to alter it in

24:01 order to make you happy. You see, it's just that practical. Just that practical. And I thank God I can bear witness after close to 17 years of married life that if it were not for the redeeming power of Jesus Christ, I don't know where my marriage would be. But I can say to God's praise that I could wish for any couple under heaven the joy, the oneness, the delight that we know in our marriage. And in our home. Why? Because the redeeming power of Jesus Christ has been operative in that marriage. Why do we meet with joy? Because God is the God of redemption. I can do all

A Personal Challenge: Have You Faced These Truths?

24:53 things through Christ who strengtheneth me. As I close, may I press upon your conscience a very simple but very personal question. Have you ever faced honestly the biblical truths that I've preached to you today? Have you ever faced honestly the biblical truths you today? That's a simple question. And I want to ask it again. Have you faced honestly the biblical truths that I've preached to you today? You can go out of here and say, who in the world do I think he is, hooping and hollering like he knows something. My friend, listen. I've not given you my opinions. My opinions aren't worth a plug nickel even though I've got a reverend in front of my name. Neither is that reverend you listen to tomorrow. I don't care if he's got DD, PhD, and everything else. Garments and prayer books and all the rest. It's all a bunch of religious hogwash if it isn't true to the

25:43 book. And if it's true to the book, you're not dealing with the preacher. You're dealing with God. And I ask you lovingly and pointedly, have you faced honestly what this book says about God being your creator and you being a sinner and God in Christ being your creator?

26:05 Being a God of redemption? Maybe that's the answer to your marriage problems. Some of you have come here today. You know what that living hell is. You're living it. Oh, you declared a four-hour truce so it wouldn't break out while you were here at the reception. But you know and I know that when you're home and the truce is over, you'll be right back to it again. Won't you? Why? Because you need a change that's as deep as your very nature.

Concluding Exhortation and Corporate Worship

26:34 And nothing would make Paul and Elaine happier than to know that on this their wedding, day, Jesus Christ showed his glory to you as the Savior of sinners. And I say to you dear Christians who have gathered today, who from the heart and thank God you haven't been able to just keep it in your heart. It's broken out on your lips. You've said amen to the truth of God. May I remind you today, whatever problems you face in your marriage, in your home, the answer is found in the redeeming power of Jesus Christ. Why are there weddings? Because God's the God of creation. Why do marriages turn into living hells? Man is a sinful preacher. Why can we meet with joy in a Christian wedding? Because God is the God of redemption. Three simple questions, three simple answers. Oh, may God grant that we shall lay them to heart

27:32 for his glory and for our good. And now in a corporate response to the word of God, as a congregation, we shall sing the hymn that is printed in the order of worship. Great is thy faithfulness, O God my Father. There is no shadow of turning with thee. We shall sing all three stanzas and the refrain after each of the stanzas. Following, please, in your printed order of worship.