Pride/Humility

Introduction and Update on Constitutional Revision

0:02 How not to foul up the training of your children. This is cassette number 35 in a series given by Pastor Albert N. Martin in the adult Sunday school class of the Trinity Baptist Church on November 17, 1991.

0:19 While we're waiting for others to find their seats, let me just say again on behalf of all of the elders how much we are thankful for your prayers as we had another marathon session yesterday working on the revision of our Constitution. And I don't know whether we should tell you to stop praying so fervently because it seems ever since we've asked you more publicly to pray for us, we find ourselves more and more drawn, I trust, in answer to your prayers and ours and in our study of the Word to a much more radical revision of our Constitution, not so much in terms of its content in a lot of areas, its essential content, in terms of both expanding and rearranging. And yesterday we were of one mind that there was proposed to us a structure that was far more logical and far more parallel to our confession of faith. And so our work is getting greater and greater. And the completion of it seems further and further away.

1:31 But in the midst of it, we have a good conscience that we are doing what God would have us to do, and God is leading us in paths that we had not anticipated when on our first elders' retreat of the year in February, we naively thought we'd go into that retreat with a proposed revision and come out of it with that revision ready to put into your hands. And still it's not in your hands, but I assure you it is not relegated to a place of secondary concern, but it has taken more corporate hours of your eldership, than any other issue in 1991. So you continue to pray, and we'll continue to labor, and hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life. And I trust that we will together, not only in our lifetime, but hopefully if the Lord tarries in generations to come, reap the fruit of our corporate prayers and endeavors. So thank you for your prayers. Continue to pray for us.

The Overlooked Category: Pride and Humility in Child Training

2:33 Now after that marathon, session, I went to my desk last evening fully expecting, as I said to one of my fellow elders, that as we return to the rather strangely entitled series of studies, how not to foul up the training of our children, or the training of our children, that I would begin today a series of general exhortations, encouragements, and cautions as we wind down this series. However, as I began to work in that direction, I had a nagging sense that there was yet perhaps a major emphasis in Proverbs that I had not set before you. And as I went back to my Bible and my concordances, and back to the book of Proverbs indeed, I did become convinced that there was another very crucial area that if I did not address it, I would leave the specifics of those areas that ought to form the focal point of our admonitory ministry to our children, I would leave that with a bad conscience. Now for those visiting with us, what we have done over a number of weeks in addressing this subject is first of all to address the question of the overall climate of the home. Now if you envy the way I make nice circles bad enough, I'll show you sometime how you do that. My wife always comments, Honey, how do you make such perfect circles?

4:00 I say, well, there's not a perfect circle, but there's a little bit. But there's a little trick to it, and for a price I'll dispense with that knowledge. But anyway, we address the fact that the climate of our home must first of all be one that is conducive to the fulfillment of our responsibility as parents, that climate as it exists between the husband and the wife, and then that climate as it exists between the parents and the children, and then that climate as it exists between the parents and the children, and the children and their parents. And any attempt to address the question of how is it that God has ordained we should fulfill the mandate to nurture our children in such a way as to glorify God and hopefully be instrumental in their nurture unto Christian maturity, then we must always be concerned with the overall climate of the family life, that it be a climate increasingly conformed to the norms of Scripture. And then we saw from Ephesians 6-4 that in the actual nurturing of the children, which is the primary duty entrusted to us, the nurture of the whole child from infancy to adulthood, God has given us two major means.

5:21 The means of chastening, and then the means of admonition. And we spent a number of weeks looking primarily into the book of Proverbs to construct, to construct a comprehensive doctrine of that chastening which is of the Lord, which is rooted in His wisdom based upon His authority, and we have spent even more weeks considering what is that admonition which is of the Lord, rooted in His wisdom and His authority, and administered in His name to our children. And we have seen in the opening up of this second great means that there is a foundational issue set before us in the book of Proverbs which is to undergird every single category of admonition, and that foundational issue is the fear of the Lord. For the fear of the Lord is the chief part, the major building block of all true wisdom. And then we have sought by repeated speed reading of the book of Proverbs to see what categories of admonition are central, are dominant in the book of Proverbs. And we have considered thus far one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,

6:42 and hopefully the ninth and final one this morning. And I'll not go over all of those. I trust you who have been with us have them somewhere tucked away in notes. Those of you visiting with us, they are available on cassette tapes.

6:58 But what I want to do this morning is to address this ninth major area of concern, and I toyed with the idea of asking those of you who have been with the class right along if perhaps you have felt frustrated that in the other eight I have not addressed this ninth and asked whether or not you believe there is a major category we've overlooked. But my fear is you'll come up with some very legitimate major categories that will string this out to ten, twelve, or fourteen, and then we'll see. And then I would be in a difficult posture to try to wind this down by the end of the year. So I'm going to arbitrarily state that this ninth is not necessarily the only other major category addressed in the book of Proverbs, but it is at least a major category of admonition between the father and his son, and it is what I am calling the admonition to our children, to avoid the sin of pride and to cultivate the grace of humility. And if we are to nurture our children in the admonition which is of the Lord and reflect those dominant emphases which the Lord has deposited in that unique deposit of parental instruction, the book of Proverbs, then you and I must continually admire,

The Scriptural Witness: Proverbs on Pride and Humility

8:27 admonish our children to avoid the sin of pride on the one hand, and to cultivate its opposite grace, the grace of humility. And in opening up this line of thought, I want us first of all to look at the naked scriptural witness. We're just going to read through the major texts in Proverbs which focus upon avoidance of the sin of pride and the cultivation of the grace of humility. And there are 13 verses that I want to read in your hearing, or 13 texts, really 14 verses, for one of them is two verses back to back.

9:10 First of all, chapter 3 in the book of Proverbs. Proverbs chapter 3 and verse 34. Having stated that the curse of the Lord is in the house of the wicked, but that he blesses the habitation of the righteous, Solomon goes on to say, surely he scoffeth at the scoffers, but he giveth grace unto the lowly. And as Solomon is giving admonition to his son, he puts the spotlight on the necessity of the cultivation of the grace of lowliness or humility.

9:53 The word here is a synonym for humility. And here we are told he gives grace unto the lowly, unto the humble. He does not, as we read in the New Testament, give grace to the proud and to the arrogant, rather he resists the proud, but gives grace unto the humble or the lowly. Then in chapter 6, where we have that list of the seven things that God peculiarly has, hates, notice that the first one listed is one that is a manifestation of the sin of pride.

10:37 Verse 16 and 17. There are six things which Jehovah hateth, yea, seven, which are an abomination unto him. Haughty eyes. The first listed focuses upon this matter of pride manifesting itself in the set of the eyes.

11:02 And we could say the upturned nose and arrogant airs. God hates anything which is indicative of a heart full of pride. Chapter 8 and verse 13. And here we have a statement of this issue that puts it in direct relationship to this primary spiritual disposition of the fear of God.

11:29 The fear of the Lord is to hate evil. That's the generic statement. The fear of the Lord, one of its constituent elements of anyone living under the impress of the fear of the Lord is he will hate that which is contrary to the Lord, displeasing to the Lord. That is against the law of the Lord and then he descends to specific pride and arrogancy and the evil way and the perverse mouth do I hate.

12:02 And therefore among the evils which are hated by one walking in the fear of the Lord, the first mentioned is the evil of pride and of arrogancy. Not exactly synonyms but certainly twin vices. Pride and arrogancy God hates and anyone therefore walking in the fear of the Lord will hate them seek to avoid them and seek to cultivate the contrary grace. Chapter 11 and verse 2 When pride cometh then cometh shame but with the lowly is wisdom. Do you want to walk my son, my daughter in a course that will bring you to shame? Then welcome pride. Allow pride to set up shop and influence how you think about yourself and how you think about others and how you think about life and pride will always be the precursor of shame.

13:12 When pride cometh then cometh shame. And we must train our children if they will avoid shame then they must avoid that which always brings shame in its trail namely or in its train namely the sin of pride. Chapter 13 and verse 10 What causes squabbles in a family? What causes arguments between husbands and wives and what causes unresolved tensions?

13:45 We are told by pride cometh only contention but with the well advised is wisdom. By pride cometh only contention when through pride one child is convinced that his rights ought to supersede everyone else's then you have a squabble over who should have the toy and for how long. When one member of the household is full of pride and believes that his rights and his desires are worthy of taking precedence over everyone else's then you have contention. And Solomon wisely states that by pride cometh only contention and if our children are to develop peaceful amicable relationships with their siblings with their parents with the larger circle of their close friends with neighbors then they must learn to avoid the sin of pride for wherever a proud person goes contention as well as shame will always be found not far behind. Chapter 14 and verse 3 In the mouth of the foolish is a rod for his pride but the lips of the wise shall preserve them. Here he says

15:13 that the proud person is always as a result of giving vent to his pride saying things that become the very composition out of which a rod is made and that rod comes back upon his own back. In other words pride is ultimately self-destructive. In the mouth of the foolish is a rod for his pride. And if we would avoid that self-destructiveness that comes from words and statements framed by pride then we must avoid the sin of pride.

15:52 Chapter 15 verse 2 I have the wrong reference not 15.2 Let's turn down to 15.13 No, my references in 15 are wrong. Alright, but let's go to 16.5 and perhaps we can pick up the other later. Alright, chapter 16 and verse 5 Everyone that is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord though hand join in hand he shall not be unpunished. We need to impress upon our children if they would be abominable in God's sight then just allow the native pride of their hearts to go unchecked. Let it swell, let it grow feed it in the various ways that it is fed

17:01 and God says that such a heart is an abomination unto Jehovah. The exact opposite of walking in the fear the favor, the smile of Jehovah is walking in such a way as to become an abomination in his sight. I know it was 15.33 was one of the references the fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom and before honor goeth humility.

17:35 As sure as possible pride brings shame in its trail train so likewise the forerunner of genuine honor is humility. Before honor goes humility. And if our children would come to a proper place of honor righteous honor humility must go before them. The grace of humility must pave the way for the status of honor.

18:10 And then chapter 16 verses 18 and 19 pride goeth before destruction as surely as humility goes before honor pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. Pride a haughty spirit synonymous better it is to be of a lowly spirit with the poor than to divide the spoil with the proud. And oh how crucial this is as we're trying to hone the consciences of our children regarding their social relationships and as they begin to set their sights upon being in with a certain group of kids what do they want? Do they want to be found on the inside of the proud and the arrogant and divide the spoils of popularity and acceptance? Or are they prepared to walk in the way of humility even if they must be associated with the people who never are chosen most likely to succeed in the senior year book? Who are never the frontrunners in the big gal or the big guy on campus?

19:33 You see humility is a very important and very very convicting grace and the person who has it makes proud people feel very uncomfortable and therefore they will not seek out his company because the very demeanor the very bearing of a proud man or woman is rebuked in the presence of a humble man or woman a humble boy or girl and it may often be that in the cultivation of the grace of humility and in turning away from the sin and the disposition of pride our children will find themselves in that company that is not looked upon as the in crowd but they need to know better it is to be of a lowly spirit with the poor or with the meek than to divide the spoil with the proud. Chapter 18 and verse 12 a repetition not quite word for word but very similar to what we read earlier before destruction the heart of man is haughty and before honor goeth humility Solomon did not think that saying it once saying it one way was enough he now repeats it in almost the same form before destruction the heart of man is haughty our children need to know

21:01 that he surely is standing on the peak of a root with a sharp slope is to put themselves in a place of great danger from which they could fall to their destruction so if they allow themselves to climb up on the peak of their own innate tendency to pride they are setting themselves up for destruction before destruction the heart of man is haughty chapter 21 and verse 4 a high look and a proud heart the translation of the last part is difficult even the lamp of the wicked is sin the tillage or the plowing of the wicked is sin but this much is clear that almighty God places the high look and the proud heart as characteristics of a wicked person a high look and a proud heart even or and the tillage of the wicked is sin so that whatever the proper rendering the last part of the verse is the high look rooted in the proud heart and you see again out of the abundance of the heart or out of the heart are the issues of life and if there is a proud heart it will be very difficult in all situations to conceal the high look what God called in chapter 6

22:29 these things that the Lord hate haughty eyes a proud look chapter 21 and verse 24 the proud and haughty man scoffer is his name he works in the arrogance of pride he looks down demeaningly upon others he scoffs at the opinions of others he scoffs even at the revelation of God's mind and will in his pride he brings even what God has said to the bar of his own puny judgment and says what he thinks is right or reasonable and what he judges to be wrong and unreasonable proud and haughty people become scoffers and then chapter 29 and verse 23 chapter 29 and verse 23 I skip over a text in 28 that is a questionable translation it's difficult and as I checked the commentators I could find no real agreement on the proper rendering so rather than use a weak text there are so many strong ones we close our reading of these passages with 29 23 29 23 a man's pride shall bring him low

Commentary on Pride and Humility from Bridges

23:56 but he that is of a lowly spirit shall obtain honor and now just briefly let me read the comments of Bridges on a couple of these texts or part of his comments again to whet the appetite of those of you who have yet to purchase a copy of Bridges and use it for your own devotions and where appropriate in family worship Bridges writes on page 228 commenting on Proverbs 16 and verse 5 everyone that is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord how unseemly moreover is this sin a creature so utterly dependent so fearfully guilty and yet proud in heart there he captures the essence of what the sin of pride is man as a creature is utterly dependent upon God for life and breath and what all things Acts 17 and yet in his pride he acts as though he were not a dependent creature for the very breath that he draws into his lungs but he acts as though he were an independent self-sustaining creature his pride blinds him to his dependantness as a creature and then to his tragic state

25:24 of guilt as a sinner one who ought to be in the company of doomed angels for whom no salvation is provided already in the language of scripture held in chains unto the day of judgment and Bridges says a creature so utterly dependent so fearfully guilty yet proud in heart a true child of a fallen parent who in dreaming to be as God made himself like the devil referring to Adam dreaming to be as God made himself like the devil many are the forms of this hateful spirit some are proud of their beauty some of their talents some of their rank some of their goodness all forgetting that they have nothing which they have not received 1 Corinthians 4 7 all unconscious that in this state they are an abomination unto the Lord one further comment read from page 238 commenting on chapter 16 and verse 20 pride 18 pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall the haughty spirit carries the head high the man looks upward

26:52 instead of downward at his steps what wonder therefore if not seeing what is before him he falls there's the haughty man he said no wonder he falls because he's not looking carefully realizing he's in danger he's dependent upon God to direct his steps in his pride he looks upward with his haughty look and so that haughtiness and pride are the sure prophecy of destruction to follow then he goes on to give examples in scripture that there is often something in the very fall that marks the Lord's special judgment God smites the object of which the man is proud David glorified in the number of his people and the Lord reduced that number by pestilence Hezekiah boasted of his treasure and the Lord marked it to be taken away in judgment at the moment that Nebuchadnezzar was proud of his babel or babel he was banished from the enjoyment of it the vain daughter the vain daughters of Zion priding themselves on their ornaments were covered with disgrace Isaiah 3 24 yet after all the state of heart that prepares man for the fall is the worst part of his condition for what is

Defining Pride and Humility

28:19 our pride is our danger why a wise man asks is earth in ashes proud pride was not made for me but for man and there are many such choice quotes in bridges now we've looked at the scriptural witness surely Solomon thought it vital to admonish his son and to leave a pattern of parental admonition for us to follow in the admonition of our children that we must admonish them repeatedly concerning avoidance of the sin of pride and the cultivation of the grace of humility but now having looked at the scriptural witness let us in the second place ask the question what is pride and what is its opposite grace humility now the first part of putting the lesson together was relatively easy I just took my Strong's concordance looked up all the references to arrogance arrogancy pride proud haughty that was relatively simple that was a good blessed exercise then I said now surely you know what pride is I took up my pen pride is and I sat and I sat and I thought and I prayed and I went back over the verses and then I looked up the Hebrew words and then only

29:49 one word strangely in the New Testament translated pride in our English Bibles in Mark chapter 7 out of the heart of men proceed pride the contrary grace lowliness humility humility humility those are found in relative abundance in the New Testament but then I said now what is pride so I looked up in my collegiate dictionary and I wasn't satisfied so I said I'm going to turn to a lovely gift someone gave me some years ago it's a facsimile reproduction of old Noah Webster's dictionary of the American language published in 1828 when the thinking in the grass roots of society was shaped by biblical concepts and then I said aha at last I found a definition that I believe does justice to the biblical concept of pride I read the definition found then in old Noah Webster's dictionary of 1828 inordinate self esteem and in the day of the God of self esteem how wonderful it is to hear such words about self esteem an unreasonable conceit of one's own superiority in talents beauty

31:17 wealth accomplishments rank or elevation in office which manifests itself in lofty airs distance reserve and often in contempt of others and right in the definitions of Noah Webster you will find quotes from Shakespeare the classic Greek authors and often from the scriptures and one of the texts quoted is pride goeth before destruction inordinate self esteem not simply recognizing one's dignity as a creature made in the image of God something we emphasized in this matter of the treatment of our children never demeaning them thinking we've got to call them dummy no no that's an affront upon their dignity as image bearers of God and some of you are not here to hear that and anything said now does not cancel or negate or in any way dilute what was said on those points but is built upon it and assumes that foundation that we are giving to our children a sense of their dignity as image bearers of God the dignity they have is junk by God but they are the legitimate objects of His general benevolence and that the

32:46 overtures of His grace and mercy and kindness in the Lord Jesus come to them in the Gospel again speaking of their dignity but this pride is an inordinate self esteem an unreasonable conceit you see not an accurate assessment of one's talents beauty wealth if God is given to a woman a beautiful face is she to convince herself she's ugly no that's to try to convince herself of a lie a beautiful woman will eventually know that she's a beautiful woman but if she's a humble woman she will not have an inordinate an unreasonable conceit of her beauty talents wealth accomplishments rank or elevation manifesting themselves in lofty airs that is giving people the feeling you're never quite they're never quite in your class and even though you may be a foot away they make you feel like there's a hundred feet between you they carry with them the air that you can never get close enough to be their equal they put distance they elevate themselves their very spirit as it were forms a ladder on which they're always standing in any company distance reserve and often in contempt of others and what is

34:16 humility from the same dictionary in ethics freedom from pride and arrogance humbleness of mind a modest estimate of one's own worth in theology humility consists in loneliness of mind a deep sense of one's own unworthiness in the sight of God self abasement and submission to the divine will and the first two instances listed below are from the scriptures before honor is humility proverbs 15 and serving the Lord with all humility of mind from Acts chapter 20 that's what the dictionary was the standard dictionary back in 1828 and gave those examples now we've had a generation raised on Spockism and on humanism and on me and I centered ism so that the graces of humility and loneliness are little understood and the sins of pride abound and men do not even recognize it and we need to cry to God that we in our own hearts will understand what pride is that we will be sensitive

35:45 and reasonable conceit of our superiority and talents beauty wealth accomplishment rank or elevation in office that we will not manifest lofty airs distance reserve and contempt of others which are spawned by unmortified pride in our own hearts that we shall have increasing the deep sense of our own unworthiness in the sight of God self abasement and that's why I'm so sick of all this self-esteem talk that's even worked its way into evangelical Christian circles my Bible is not calling me on every other page to self-esteem it's calling me to self denial I'm so sick when I find Christians absorbing the world's terminology if any man would come after me you would think the new gospel is let him properly esteem himself Jesus said let him deny himself take up his cross and follow me if I understand my Bible I'm born with an over inflated measure of self-esteem for from within out of the heart proceed pride among other sins

Practical Directives for Parents: Showing Pride's Evil

37:14 now having set forth those definitions now thirdly I want to give some practical directives in the admonition of children regarding avoidance of the sin of pride and cultivation of the grace of humility and the first is this by repeated patient instruction dear parents seek to show your children how evil the sin of pride is you see this is the easy thing to convince them it's evil to pick up one of their toys and bash their brother or sister on the head with it because that splits the head open you need to get stitches or makes a bump or makes them cry it's relatively easy to point out the sin of striking another person taking money of pride or we need to tell them it was pride that made the devil the devil and if we have warrant to use Isaiah 14 beginning in verse 4 in that section out of Ezekiel 28 I say if we have warrant to say that there are overtones in those two chapters that go beyond the person directly addressed and have shadows

38:44 of what the devil the devil namely the spirit of pride I will ascend I will be like the most high and there certainly is an allusion to that in first Timothy when Paul gives the reason why novices should not be put forward into the eldership less being popped up with pride they fall into the condemnation of what is clearly established in that text it is pride that makes our children most like the devil it is pride that will keep them from the blessing of God James 4 6 humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God that he may exalt you in due and that it will bring the judgment of God upon them Luke 18 14 at the end of the parable of the Pharisee and the public in Jesus puts this capstone for everyone who exalts himself shall be humbled and he that humbles himself shall be exalted we need to seek to show our children

40:13 the evil of God and to be just like him it will keep them from the blessing of God it will bring them under the judgment of God but then my second practical admonition is don't engage in practices that will feed pride in your children for example excessive injudicious praise of your children we dealt weeks ago with the necessity of positive reinforcement of your children commending them when they do well encouraging them when they obey you encouraging them when they attack a task and though without the inconsistencies or the imperfections of the task you see that those imperfections and inconsistencies are part of their being a child not a sinner just a child and so you don't pounce as the perfectionist will upon

Practical Directives for Parents: Avoiding Practices that Feed Pride

41:41 the areas of failure and then grind that victim into you hear the feelings of some of the people involved with such an kind of situation missed it and you who come to think good about you and I appreciate these important things hear the intention of I of you see and Akon does not Now you're giving commendation to the child, but not excessive, injudicious praise that will feed his pride so that when he or she becomes 15 or 18, nobody can stand to be around them because they exude what is one of the most stinking, rotten attitudes, intellectual pride. You little nobodies who don't know from nothing. I'm always in the accelerated class. I'm smart.

42:49 I'm amazed when people tell me, you know, I really have to fight pride. God's given me a good mind. I want to laugh at them.

42:57 I want to laugh at them and say, God's given you a good mind. You have to fight pride. My friend, just sit down for a minute and think how much you don't know about one subject. Just one subject.

43:12 Don't think how much you do know. Think how much you don't know on any one subject. I could take my shoe off. I'll hold it up and say, tell me what you know about how a shoe is constructed from the time it's part of a cow's rump until it's there on your foot.

43:28 Tell me, what do you know?

43:31 What do you know? Then we could take failures in which our ignorance is both appalling and patent. And someone should have a good mind. I have to fight pride.

43:46 Just think how much you don't know. How many other people know so much more than you do about so many things and then pause and think God knows everything. That can ever be known about every single thing in his universe.

44:00 You meditate on the infinity of the mind of God and I don't care if you're Phi Beta Kappa number one in your class 4.0 GPA. You'll fall on your face and say, oh God, I know so little.

44:20 You need to cultivate that in your children.

44:27 You're so cute. You're so pretty.

44:30 It's one thing to say you look very nice. You look very nice in that dress. We should thank God that you have a healthy body. That God's enabled mommy and daddy to buy a new dress.

44:40 You see, there's a way to encourage, have a child have a sense of the dignity of dressing up and being attractive without that excessive and injudicious praise that feeds pride. And God help you not to do it when you become grandparents.

44:59 People often jokingly say to me when they know that my wife and I are now grandparents, they say, oh well. It must be fun to be able to spoil your kids. I won't laugh when people say that. I say, no, spoil your grandkids.

45:09 I say, no, they look shocked because I respond with a stern look because I say, no, that's not my task as a grandparent to help my grandchildren go to hell by feeding their pride. It is to cooperate with their parents in trying to cultivate the grace of humility and to avoid the sin of pride, excessive and judicious praise of your children will undercut all your admonitions against pride and the positive admonitions to cultivate humility. Second way, be careful about boasting to others about your children in their presence. Now, there's an element of boasting that may be proper, but don't do it in the presence of the children. Think how, how hard it is for you as a so-called adult, mature Christian to handle anything that is fuel for your sin of renaming pride. What about that child? What about that child?

46:10 What about that child? What about that child? What about that child in whose heart foolishness is bound up? Do you want to be throwing logs on the smoldering embers of their inherent pride?

46:17 Then you boast about them in the presence of others in an unwise way and you will feed their pride. And then the third great admonition or great means that I would set before you, if you would be instrumental in God's hands to turn them away from the sin of pride and cultivate the grace of humility. And you will do it. And you must always dominate any group discussion, whether it's with your wife, in the family, in a group of people, in the home, wherever it is. If you have an overestimation, of your wisdom on every single subject from how a shoe is made to how the White House ought to be run

47:24 and you do not offer your insight as a judicious expression of your own judgment but you offer it as almost the oracle of God on everything you're walking as an opinionated person don't be surprised if your children become proud as peacocks they'll imitate you and if you must dominate every conversation and must always have the last word and if you are not, listen carefully one who instinctively thanks God for all of your gifts and blessings you see, proud people are never thankful people it took me years to see the connection between those two things but you tell me if you've ever known a proud person who's a thankful person thankful vertically or horizontally no, because you can do whatever you want to for pride and you see, gratitude is one of the accessories one of the accompaniments of a sense of unworthiness I didn't deserve that thank you for being so kind to me but the proud person always feels people don't do enough in terms of what he deserves and therefore he's not a thankful person pride and the spirit of gratitude are never found in the same heart that's why God can shower his gifts and there is no instinctive

Practical Directives for Parents: Pointing to Christ for a New Heart

48:52 response I don't deserve these things they come out of God's good will and God's beneficence and kindness therefore I ought to thank him for my breath thank him that my feet were able to get on the floor this morning that I didn't wake up and have them covered with a sheet in a hospital thankful that I have two eyes, two feet, two hands sanity of mind thankful that people show kindness to me that people express their gratitude their goodwill to me my friend if you're not an instinctively thankful person your children will pick that up and their own pride will imitate your spirit of ingratitude which is a manifestation of your pride and then the third admonition I'd give not only seek to show them how evil the sin of pride is contrary-wise I'm assuming how noble the spirit of humility is don't engage in practices that will feed their pride thirdly constantly point them to the only effective way to kill their pride and to cultivate humility constantly point them to the only effective way to kill their pride and cultivate humility and what is that? they need a new heart they need the salvation of Christ for Mark 7 says

50:18 for from within out of the heart of man proceed pride pride the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked and it's only when they heed the invitation of Matthew 11 come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest take my yoke and and take my yoke upon you and learn of me for I am what meek and lowly of heart and you shall find rest to your souls you see a heart full of pride is a heart that is bowed down burdened and restless because the person never feels he gets enough thanks for what he's done gets enough praise for who he is and his gifts and all the rest and it's a wonderful thing to be liberated from the tyranny of always being driven by unfulfilled pride and come to rest in the yoke of him who is meek and lowly of heart and to have him begin to work in us by his own spirit a disposition of meekness and lowliness Isaiah fifty-five, fifty-seven, fifteen thus saith the high and lofty one that inhabits eternity whose name is holy I dwell in the high and holy place with him also that is of a humble and a contrite spirit to revive the spirit of the humble and to revive the heart of the contrite

51:46 as our children hopefully under the blessing of God begin to have a conscience made sensitive to the tyranny of pride and cry out mommy daddy it just seems it's so natural to be proud you say yes it is my dear and only God can change that disposition only Christ can forgive you for the sins of pride and give you grace to dwell in communion with the heavenly father in the spirit of humility it's a strange thing we have to do as parents in our work of admonition we're constantly admonishing our children to cultivate graces and character traits that ultimately we know only the holy spirit of God can work within them and yet you see he does not work apart from us but by us and through us and where the line is drawn between that which he may work in them in part in common or common or prevenient grace and that which he internalizes by his saving grace may I say in a very real sense that's none our business it is our business to pray that there'll do it yes it is our business to labor

53:06 but in terms of our duty as parents whether our children wherever given a new whether they ever come to Christ and they can't execute and learn who is meeting lowly we must knowledge to the instance in a cup and encourage them to cultivate the grace of humility this cursory study of this major emphasis found in the book of Proverbs that we will at least be aware of it try to God for light on how to deal with it how under God's blessing to seek to nurture our children in that admonition which is of the Lord even admonition that constantly admonishes our children to avoid the sin of pride and to cultivate the grace of humility let's pray and ask God to help us to this our Father we confess with shame that our hearts are all together too much like the devil that there is in all of us even those who are your children in the actings of our remaining sin that spirit that would cause us to be swelled with self-conceit

Prayer for Humility and Effective Parenting

54:35 to have haughty eyes and a proud heart to disdain others to think more highly of ourselves than we ought to think to be ungrateful because we assume that what we have from you and others we deserve and even more oh Lord have mercy upon us for the unmortified sin of pride in our own hearts we pray that we will be graced with the spirit of humility that joyfully recognizes that there is nothing we have but what it's been received and having received it from you it is your purpose that you should be glorified in our use of it we pray that you would teach us the grace of humility and then teach us how effectively to underscore the necessity of that grace to our children and we pray oh God that as a congregation we will more and more exemplify the grace of true humility that pride will appear in our eyes more and more as it appears in your eyes write these things upon our hearts and we thank you again that we have your word as a lamp to our feet and a light to our pathway hear our prayer as together we pray we plead these mercies

56:03 in Jesus name Amen

56:34 Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen